I'm sure this has been done before but...

(100 Posts)
LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 12:15:39

Fuck off with your BLW wankery. It's feeding your frigging baby. Normal food. Why does it need a crappy name? So new mums who do it feel special, and those who don't feel like outsiders?

It's not a THING.

Probably because so many people think that feeding tour baby is 'traditional' weaning that those who feed their baby proper food want to differentiate it?

I agree though, it's a daft name. Not least because if you truly are led by your baby when you wean you may end up giving them purée because they can't/won't eat solid food...

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Jan-13 12:17:55

Blimey, who knew it could make someone so angry? grin

YANBU though

It's always been called 'finger foods'

There I said it and you know what? I'd say it again....

<< Makes pigeon head movement and snaps fingers in a 'Z' >>

And don't get me started on 'babywearing'! It's a baby not a jumper!

pictish Sun 20-Jan-13 12:20:14

Yanbu.
To me it's simply 'weaning'.

sydlexic Sun 20-Jan-13 12:20:21

I did attachment parenting and BLW before they were even invented.

BumpingFuglies Sun 20-Jan-13 12:21:33

What is it anyway? <old>

CheCazzo Sun 20-Jan-13 12:23:06

YANBU - as I said on another thread (perhaps a little forcefully! grin ) - this kind of wordy nonsense just boils my piss. I can't think of any justification for it except to make the parent feel like a dog with two cocks about how frightfully bang-on they are. Actually - breaking news people - it makes you sound like your brain is made of baby rice!

HecateWhoopass Sun 20-Jan-13 12:25:06

isn't it just giving them stuff and letting them try to get it in their mouths, as opposed to spooning stuff in yourself?

Mine are teens now, so it's a long time ago, but I'm fairly sure it's always been done that way, hasn't it? bit of feeding them, bit of watching them shove a strip of toast up their nose grin

I mean, it doesn't bother me if people want to make a big thing about it. I think when you're actually weaning your child it IS a big thing to you. But I don't know how it's any different from what's always been done.

Am prepared to be told just how wrong I am and why, though grin

RuleBritannia Sun 20-Jan-13 12:25:24

Right. For those of us who have grown up children, what is BLW? Ah! Baby Led Weaning?

We were statying with my parents when my son was 5 months old and I fed him a jar of baby food. He wanted more so I gave him half a jar. He wanted more so I gave him the second half of the jar. He wanted more and he finished up with a large tin of Ambrosia creamed rice inside him as well, spooned out of the tin. Had I been starving him? Since then, he has always eaten like a horse.

JohnBender88 Sun 20-Jan-13 12:27:51

I HATE seeing all those "signatures" on another (fluffy as fuck) forum. "Mummy to cloth bummed, BF, BLW, co-sleeping, baby wearing *enter ridiculous hippy name*"

Excuse me whilst I put my Aptamil loving, self settling, pampers wearing baby down to applaud you....

Hecate you'd be surprised by how many people seem to think that only milk and purée can pass a baby's lips until they're at least one! hmm

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Jan-13 12:31:31

<< Snorts @ baby rice brain! >>

HollyBerryBush Sun 20-Jan-13 12:32:20

This is the first commn sense thread I think I've seen on MN

HecateWhoopass Sun 20-Jan-13 12:32:29

really?

That honestly surprises me.

BumpingFuglies Sun 20-Jan-13 12:35:31

Big Loada Wank?

BumpingFuglies Sun 20-Jan-13 12:36:05

Bollocky Lady Waffle?

wigglesrock Sun 20-Jan-13 12:37:39

My granny was doing it with her kids and she's 100 shock grin

noddyholder Sun 20-Jan-13 12:38:07

Yabu to be so aggressive about it though.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 12:39:07

Do you think it's just so some people feel like speshul mummies and daddies?

Or do people actually read the book? Yes, there is, indeed, not only a book but a website too. Trademarked. Someone has trademarked bloody baby feeding. hmm

Ha!!!!

My dd ate anything that wasn't tied down, including the toilet brush wink

More like baby led gorging than weaning...

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 12:40:14

No no, aggressive would be if I were ramming it down your throat. For BLW, you have to ram it down your own (if you're a baby).

manormuppet Sun 20-Jan-13 12:40:50

Baby wearing, blw , attachment parenting, cosleeping
Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Ha I didnt know what blw was when I had my first but I'm pretty sure I did it. I called it weaning though. I have a pic of the results on my profile grin

noddyholder Sun 20-Jan-13 12:41:47

Fuck off,wankery,frigging,crappy sounds pretty aggressive to me. Its just a new name for a traditional thing

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 12:44:09

No, words aren't aggressive. They might be offensive to delicate flowers, but they won't hurt you.

noddyholder Sun 20-Jan-13 12:44:32

ok

lolaflores Sun 20-Jan-13 12:46:33

Go easy lads. I got eaten alive by the sling brigade.
I have a picture of me, with my eldest now 19 slung on me using a sarong.
It was 1994.
You are not that new and exciting.
It does my bleedin head in, but if they think they are reinventing parenthood. Crack on.

PandorasSocks Sun 20-Jan-13 12:48:17

It's like all the other stuff that's around at the moment to make some parents feel smug and superior.

I have five children aged between 5 and 26. I didn't wear any of them, they have never slept in my bed, they were all formula fed, they all wore disposable nappies and all were weaned on baby rice. Shoot me!

I do, however, admit to feeling smug because all of my children are intelligent, healthy and well-adjusted individuals.

BumpingFuglies Sun 20-Jan-13 12:51:45

DS just stuffed his face. I wore him once and nearly broke my back and as for co-sleeping, he couldn't stand my snoring.

<Modern parenting epic fail>

Viviennemary Sun 20-Jan-13 12:52:08

Take an old idea and give it a fancy new name and write a book about it and make some money and get on the TV.

SaggyOldPregnantCatpuss Sun 20-Jan-13 12:52:30

Hear hear! It's a load of pretentious "look at me, aren't I super" wankiness! Get a fucking grip and just feed the kid without the bull shit!

mrlazysfishwife Sun 20-Jan-13 12:53:11

I can understand why people might get a little miffed i they think that people are using the term BLW in a smug way.

But, out of the group of mums that I know (about 20 of us) only two of us didn't use purees from the start, and a surprising amount were still spooning in the mushy stuff when their kids turned one. I only ever brought up the term BLW when I was speaking with my other BLW friend. The other mums knew that I doing finger foods from the start as we used to have lunch together regularly, and they would say "oh, you're doing baby led?",usually following that with some comment about they'd be worrying about choking.

Same in mine and DH's family, they all thought it was very very odd that I wasn't feeding DS mushed up carrots and sweet potato.

So, in my experience, "BLW" is not what most mums do, it's not what our health visitors advised us to do at the weaning session, so it around here it is a bit of a "thing". Personally, I think it makes perfect sense and is far more "normal" than doing purees, but I'm in a minority!

We "do" BLW but only because it works for us and DD. What I really hate is where people have a bit of a snit and say that BLW and a bit of spoonfeeding is just traditional weaning with the implication that only they are true believers - oh fuck off, there isn't a medal on offer.

I get pissed off particularly as I/we:

Breastfeed
Use cloth nappies
Cosleep mostly
Use a sling (she is not a hat; I do not wear her)
BLW
Have a generally attachment parenting outlook

But none of it is particularly ideological and mostly born out of necessity. But because of the speshul bloody snowflakes people think I am one of them. Gah.

BLW. Hmm, it sounds as though you give them a menu and they point their sticky fingers at their choice of food.
It didn't exist when mine were babies.
I seem to remember putting food in front of them and they either ate it, spat it out or smeared in on themselves and the furniture.

MerryCouthyMows Sun 20-Jan-13 12:55:40

When I did 'BLW' with my DD nearly 15 years ago, it had a name - 'Lazy parenting'. I did it anyway.

[Insert slatternly parent emoticon here]

It wasn't called BLW, but it was still the same thing. DD didn't die, and ate 'proper' food far quicker than her peers who were weaned using traditional purées. So ididvthe same thing with DS1, DS2 & DS3. It was only called 'BLW' when DS3 was weaned...

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 12:59:02

So, the 'thing' is never having any kid of mushy food?

What about soup?

Should we perhaps call it 'PEW' (Purée excluded weaning)?

What about those (IMO normal) parents who do both? Who have some mashed up stuff when appropriate, and some stuff they grab and eat? What can we be called? 'WLBBPAB'?

comingintomyown Sun 20-Jan-13 13:00:52

Jesus wept I am beyond relieved my DC are teens and I escaped the worst excesses of children related twee terminology

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 20-Jan-13 13:04:26

I can't even remember much about the weaning stage, it's amazing when you have a teen, (ds is 17 now) how much you forget about the baby stages.
It's such a tiny part of their lives.

McNewPants2013 Sun 20-Jan-13 13:06:30

Isn't all weaning baby led, I can assure anyone that my son was 2.5 years old before anything apart from milk would pass his mouth.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:07:28

I'm going to re invent a baby related matter and make millions. Anyone got any ideas? Can anyone guess what mine actually are?

Baby lidding
AcapellaBaba
Baby planking
PLEB

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:10:31

Oh come on, I'm dying to introduce you all to the world of PLEB grin

um putting a hat on it
singing with it
lying it on its back
no idea

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:12:47

Well done, all those are right!

PLEB...

Precious Literary Expression for Babies

parent led exclusive breastfeeding?

Pandemoniaa Sun 20-Jan-13 13:13:16

I had my dcs so long ago that one of them has weaned his own baby now but I suspect that, 30 years ago, I was doing baby lead weaning. It's just that we didn't give it a poncetastic title. It was called weaning and involved putting a selection of different foods in front of the baby (some in a bowl, some just cut up) and watching while they ate it/wore it/gave it to the cat. I also wore a sling. That was called "putting the baby in a sling" not "babywearing". Same practices, different names and not quite so much smuggery about it from some quarters.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:13:20

aka stories

ah grin well thats far more wankish clever than my suggestion

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:14:23

How about this one?

BOPs

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:16:51

and this:

CUNT

?

lolaflores Sun 20-Jan-13 13:18:00

Let us all get on with the job of rearing kids who can find their arse in a dark room with both hands. That does not seem to be the focus for some "super mums". It appears that getting a medal for being the most attentive (suffocating) over bearing and having all the gear parent for a short while is the ideal.
Just you wait till you have a stroppy 13 year who couldn't give a rolling fuck if it was breast fed, arse wiped and micro managed to within an inch of its life....it is all our fault anyway. The job is to get them on their own two little feet with the least amount of life threatening incidents avoided and on their way to being themselves.
So I say anyway.
Attachment parenting? Isn't that what parenting is anyway
By the way, Bowlby and his bull shit was discredited when it became apparent attachment parenting was a convenient way of getting women back into the home after the taste of freedom they inadvertently got during the war years.
Get them under the babies again and thats that.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:21:41

CUNT anyone? Maybe I could get Jo Frost or even Gina Ford on board with that one?

PLEB
Can we have that as an official MN acronym?grin

PassMeTheWino Sun 20-Jan-13 13:24:53

I think you are being a little U.

As a new parent I was fucking useless and clueless. I thought that jar food or mushing food was the only way you weaned a baby.

I thought that you could 'spoil' a baby with cuddles and the only way to teach a baby to sleep was to let it cry.

I was so fucking relieved to hear of BLW and AP by the time the second one came along. It was horrific going against all my instincts the first time. But I was knew, and a complete novice.

Some people need to hear there are other ways. If that means giving it a name a sticking it in a book, then so be it.

nope i'm stuck

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:26:34

BOPs - Breastfeeding Other Parents

Climbingpenguin Sun 20-Jan-13 13:32:56

to be fair, all the literature only mentions purees etc. so the concept of using finger foods isn't just something people naturally do to start with anymore.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:35:38

What literature is this?

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:39:27

Oooh I have another:

BINT

CUNT, by the way, was Childhood Upchuck Nettoyage Treatment

PandorasSocks Sun 20-Jan-13 13:40:02

Does nobody trust their own judgement as a parent anymore?

I mean, really?

Do people honestly learn to parent from (expensive) books/militants on the internet?

shock why would you breastfeed other parents confused

Viviennemary Sun 20-Jan-13 13:41:11

I believe in mush for babies. And it's more natural in any case. Because animals pre-masticate food for their young. Not suggesting people do this so mush food is the nearest thing.

cleaning up sick? or being sicked on?

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:43:03

You'll like BINT

We should definitely get Jo Frost involved in this one.

Baby Initiated Nap Time

thesnowmanrocks Sun 20-Jan-13 13:43:24

Food is food, can't understand fuss over it. Surely as long as it goes in mouth does it really matter what way it gets there. Personally fed ds with spoon partly because it was quicker and cleaner. And at other times let him get in right old mess. grin

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:43:25

cleaning it up

Yamyoid Sun 20-Jan-13 13:43:36

The phrase baby led weaning doesn't irritate me as much as baby wearing and attachment parenting. But BLW is a nonsense term because, as a pp has already said, it just means letting the baby choose what they want to eat. Mine is quite clear that she's an independent sod who will only eat certain things off a spoon. Therefore I am truly doing BLW but am not calling it that.

Anyway, what's CUNT stand for?

HoneyDragon Sun 20-Jan-13 13:44:21

I honestly believe the term Baby Led Weaning was coined by a well meaning health visitor somewhere, in a bid to explain that ramming food constantly down children's throats is not beneficial. But then the Worthy-smuggintoons made it their own.

As for Baby Wearing. That's just Smugese for "I don't use a pushchair".

Themobstersknife Sun 20-Jan-13 13:44:51

All literature, books, whatever have endless recipes for purees.
I agree with Wino! I saw the worst example of jar/puree feeding. Poor little kid in a pushchair being spooned jar food, whilst rest of family sat at the table for a nice restaurant meal. I know this isn't what most peope do but it made me want to find out whether there were alternatives. This book was the answer to my prayers. And if any of the haters bothered to read it, they would know that one of the key themes of the book is that it isn't new. Its been around forever but it hasn't been written down anywhere. You all have the benefit of experience. I did not. Don't understand such hatred when it doesn't impact you, but helps lots of people like me.

HoneyDragon Sun 20-Jan-13 13:45:10

Worthy-Smuggingtons

The bastards got auto corrected

Yamyoid Sun 20-Jan-13 13:45:53

Ah, very good. Slow typer, me. By the way yanbu.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:46:26

And a new brand of organic childrens' clothing:

WANKING

Wearing All Natural - Kids in Natural Garbs

PandorasSocks Sun 20-Jan-13 13:47:19

Themobstersknife... "haters"? Really?

Blimey.

FanFuckingTastic Sun 20-Jan-13 13:47:20

I think sometimes the smugness is in your own head. I never felt smug about any of my choices. Just made them to suit myself and my baby.

Themobstersknife Sun 20-Jan-13 13:47:28

HoneyDragon that is exactly what has happened.

BLCC
Baby Led Career Choices
On implementing a programme for gels aged 16 plus on the importance of getting a little job that works around what their future DC and DH need from them. Too many gels are growing up expecting to have it all and it's time they were told. After all, it's what baby wants and needs wink

5madthings Sun 20-Jan-13 13:48:47

We bkw, used slings and co-slept, no name s given to it other than my mantra of 'muddling along parenting' it was what worked and felt right, nothing pretentious about it.

It just has a label now and an acronym which is just used as short hand.

DeepRedBetty Sun 20-Jan-13 13:48:58

Sadly Pandora too many do. A mixture of not living close to own mum, being convinced that whatever they do they won't make the same mistakes as their own mum, (and thus ignoring the good advice along with the bad), and believing that if it's in a book it must be correct.

Figgygal Sun 20-Jan-13 13:49:02

I love you op constantly think this never brave enough to say it!!!

lolaflores Sun 20-Jan-13 13:50:11

I saw film of women in a tribe in the deepest most isolated jungley bits of the amazon, chewing the babies food before passing it on.
Also, this method is a possible explanation for kissing...passing from mouth to mouth.
Works for the birdies.
My particular smugington prior to having her kids knew nothing about children. actively avoided them, then felt that books and what she heard at NCT were the way to go and basically "buying" her "parenting" experience.
I prefer home made

HoneyDragon Sun 20-Jan-13 13:52:38

FanFucking yes but that's 'cos you are normal

Making choices and getting on is different to

Place child into £350 pushchair

Insert salt free organic fortified with woven lentil bread stick into child's hand

Await applause and medal from the Queen.

PandorasSocks Sun 20-Jan-13 13:52:52

DeepRed I get that. I can honestly say, though, that I didn't take my mum's advice either... I just did it the way that was best for me and my babies. And I was very young when I had my first (19), so a tad clueless. It didn't occur to be to follow parenting advice from books.

Accidental parenting, it could probably be called. But, I never broke one of my children so I guess I must have done something right grin

Maryz Sun 20-Jan-13 13:53:38

My mum tells a story about going to a friend's house when my brother was 3, and him being given food on a plate. Apparently he lifted up the plate and asked "what's this"?

We were all fed on the laminate kitchen table, to save washing up (not much money in our house at that stage) and only used bowls for cereal or slushy food.

It wasn't called blw then - 50 years ago.

Nor was it blw when I weaned ds1 18 years ago. It was called "having stroppy baby who doesn't like eating off a spoon". He didn't use a spoon until he could pick it up and hold it himself. Everything was fingerfood.

I don't care what you feed your fecking kids. But stop telling me it's a new and wonderful way to do it [mutters]

Themobstersknife Sun 20-Jan-13 13:55:10

I thought this thread was full of haters, but maybe I a mistaken.

I do parent by instint. My instinct was not to spoon fed, one taste at a time, as recommended by my HV team. My mum has passed on, the rest of my family live at least 100 miles away, I was the first of my close friends to have a baby, so I wanted to do some reading. I spent £5 on probably the only baby book I purchased, and decided it was for me. Obviously I am a complete sucker. Apparently.

HoneyDragon Sun 20-Jan-13 13:58:24

Again

Mobsters

You were normal too. There is a difference between figuring things out and doing what suits to evangelicalising something.

PandorasSocks Sun 20-Jan-13 13:58:26

Themobster, not a "sucker", but you should put more trust in your own instincts and do what is right for you and your baby (which you have clearly done).

People are pissed off with (not "hating" on) the smug brigade who think they invented having babies and parenting in general and that the only way is their way.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 13:59:37

I'm not sure that 'hater' is a standalone word, but then I'm not sure that 'wankery' is either. grin

The thing is, buy and read a baby book about a particular way of feeding babies, no problem. I've read a fair few baby books. But don't keep repeating the catchphrase title of the book whenever you talk about feeding your child. That's just irritating.

HoneyDragon Sun 20-Jan-13 14:01:24

Eg

Myleene Klass The first woman EVER to have had a baby

milf90 Sun 20-Jan-13 14:01:50

Yanbu it annoys me too!! Why does everything need a name??why can't you just do wht works for you??

I just take a bit of everything - I had/have a mei tai and a push chair, I expressed breast milk then topped up with formula, I weaned lo at 17 weeks so had to start with purees but he was on finger foods by 6 months...

Maryz Sun 20-Jan-13 14:02:44

You aren't a sucker for buying a book.

You aren't doing anything wrong in doing blw (or not).

But those who think that buying the book, and following the "rules" and sticking to baby led weaning is the only way and that everyone else is wrong are idiots. As are those who think it is a new and innovative way to feed babies. It isn't.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 14:04:38

Do you know whats even worse? People who claim their babies are Gina Ford Babies. Like she had some kind of Midwitch Cuckoo effect on unsuspectin families up and down the country. Odd.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 14:04:59

Sorry, typos

noddyholder Sun 20-Jan-13 14:06:53

Mn the only place where you have to feel embarrassed to use a sling,breast feed, co sleep and take an interest in your childs nutrition grin.

I felt like a total sucker when I bought a BLW book and realised that it just told me to give my baby food! Really should have saved myself £7.99...

usualsuspect Sun 20-Jan-13 14:10:18

I read on here the other day 'I cloth nappy' people do talk wanky on here sometimes.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 14:12:06

The verb, to 'nappy'? Whatever next?

I still like BINT. That's my favourite.

Pilgit Sun 20-Jan-13 14:13:48

having read the BLW book (yes, pretentious name!) the whole point they are trying to ram home is that this is what our grans were doing 100 years ago and it worked great - so to whoever it was that said it's not new as my gran was doing it - is kinda the point! The spoon feeding comes from the times when people were convinced they had to wean at 3/4 months and the only way to do that is with mush. Doing the finger food/BLW route is not normal round my way either - everyone asks me about choking, are they getting enough, what about the mess and etc if I wasn't forcing mush into my childs mouth. Fighting the fight against then Annabel Karmel and Gina Ford mafia round here (no gripe with either - just their 'must follow exactlywhatitsaysinthebook brigade of followers) But agree, it's like 'hypnobirthing' and 'baby wrapping' new names and 'new' trends for the way it was always done before any of it was thought about too deeply.

HoneyDragon Sun 20-Jan-13 14:14:00

Yup Noddy, but no shame in discussing bumsex at Centreparcs grin

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Sun 20-Jan-13 14:17:08

Personally I think these books,parenting styles and such just serve to undermine confidence in parenting instincts.
Animals manage to reproduce and raise young without seeking out Gina Ford.

Reaa Sun 20-Jan-13 14:20:19

I think I would be very confused if I had another DC now, mine were sleeping in my bed as it was easier to BF, my DC's loved finger foods and they took a nap when they got tired, my oldest DC is almost 18 and has turned out fine so far

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