To be mightily pissed off for DD about her birthday?

(29 Posts)
Trazzletoes Sun 20-Jan-13 09:04:15

It's DD's 1st birthday tomorrow. I fully appreciate that she will not remember this but there will clearly be photos (or lack of them...)

We had invited family over today for a party for her. They all live some distance away and, while we have no snow forecast til late tonight, they all had significant snowfalls yesterday and more forecast during the day today.

They have all cancelled. This, in itself, is fine. I would also not be travelling and would not expect, or want, anyone to put themselves in danger.

DS is unwell and will be going in to hospital on Wednesday until, realistically, Easter at best. There is no point re-scheduling the party because it will be months away.

Due to DS' illness, DD doesn't get the attention she deserves anyway. AIBU to be really pissed off and sad on her behalf that she doesn't get a proper birthday party and some attention just for her from everyone?

I'm emotional so don't be too hard on me, please.

LadyMargolotta Sun 20-Jan-13 09:07:16

I am not surprised you are upset. You were hoping for one, happy day, to celebrate, before your ds goes into hospital for several months sad

I'm sure you know, it's just unfortunate circumstances, and no-one is to blame.

Can you do something else that is fun today?

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 20-Jan-13 09:10:05

YANBU to be upset. What are you going to do today instead? Can you go out for the day, maybe eat out?

Trazzletoes Sun 20-Jan-13 09:10:34

Thanks. I know it's no one's fault.

I'm just pissed off at the ether/ Mother Nature / life in general.

HumphreyCobbler Sun 20-Jan-13 09:11:27

That is such a shame.

DoingTheBestICan Sun 20-Jan-13 09:11:37

YANBU to feel upset at all,can you go out for a nice family day instead?

Isityouorme Sun 20-Jan-13 09:12:57

I think you have the most important people there with your dd on her rest birthday so it's a bit crap but she won't care. Just buy a huge cake and celebrate. It will be a good excuse to have a great 2nd birthday.

You are probably feeling stressed re DS which is making you feel worse about everything. I hope your DS will be ok. The thought of my LO being in hospital fr months would scare me shitless so I feel for you.

Could you go on holiday when he gets out to relax and celebrate everyone's birthday?

Ps ssshhhhh but hugs for dd, DS and you!!!

Taffeta Sun 20-Jan-13 09:13:49

What a shame. Can you do something with a few locals involving the snow and a cake? We had a big party planned a few years back and all people cancelled so we improvised and asked all the neighbours instead who were all snowed n so had nothing else on.

coldcupoftea Sun 20-Jan-13 09:19:48

Do you not have any local friends or even neighbours, even if you don't know them that well? You could just knock on the door and say 'we had a family party planned for DD but they are snowed in- do you want to come round for a piece of cake?'

I got to know my current neighbour, who is now a very good friend, 2 years ago because of the snow- I knew she would be stuck indoors with a toddler like me, so invited her over and we hit it off!

mercibucket Sun 20-Jan-13 09:20:02

It is a shame. I agree with taffeta, can you have a few local friends round for an impromptu party instead? It will all be fine for your dd, you just need a few photos with balloons and a cake with one candle for the photos.
Ds2s early life was also overshadowed by his elder brother's illness so I understand your feelings. We had to do ds2s cake in the parents room at the hospital, and I forgot I'd bought him a proper cake til we found it months later all mouldy. Luckily, as he was only 2, it didn't have any impact on him and he had a nice time anyway.

mercibucket Sun 20-Jan-13 09:20:02

It is a shame. I agree with taffeta, can you have a few local friends round for an impromptu party instead? It will all be fine for your dd, you just need a few photos with balloons and a cake with one candle for the photos.
Ds2s early life was also overshadowed by his elder brother's illness so I understand your feelings. We had to do ds2s cake in the parents room at the hospital, and I forgot I'd bought him a proper cake til we found it months later all mouldy. Luckily, as he was only 2, it didn't have any impact on him and he had a nice time anyway.

Trazzletoes Sun 20-Jan-13 09:23:35

Isit he has cancer so holidays are not the easiest due to insurance and the need to be near a hospital. With the treatment he has coming, we know one child who has been left with brain damage and one who hasn't survived, so we are extremely anxious about it all.

Don't really know our neighbours very well and don't know anyone with pre-teen children who are close by.

I think we will probably just have some snow play and eat tons of cake. Family were helping with food so at least we don't have to eat mountains of sausage rolls...

<tries to find the positives>

Trazzletoes Sun 20-Jan-13 09:25:24

Right - snow play and offer cake to all who pass... grin

Ingles2 Sun 20-Jan-13 09:31:39

No wonder you're feeling disappointed trazzletoes..
Wrap up warm and have some fun outside, followed by cake and hot choc and make yourself some happy memories... I hope you have a lovely family day

DreamingOfTheMaldives Sun 20-Jan-13 09:32:12

I'll have a piece of cake if there's one going spare! Mmmmmm cake.

Very happy 1st birthday to your DD. Sorry to hear your DS is so poorly

DreamingOfTheMaldives Sun 20-Jan-13 09:34:16

Ingles - snow play, hot chocolate and cake sounds fabulous. Chuck in a duvet and a favourite DVD for later!

shrinkingnora Sun 20-Jan-13 09:39:05

Where do you live? I'll come over with the dcs and make a huge fuss of her!

Trazzletoes Sun 20-Jan-13 09:47:18

Leeds shrinking grin

ChiefOwl Sun 20-Jan-13 09:49:27

Where do you live op? We can travel smile play in the snow, have hot choc with marshmallows and take loads of pics of you all. Wishing you lots of love for the next few months, will keep your ds in my thoughts

ChiefOwl Sun 20-Jan-13 09:50:11

Ah, we are sadly the other end of the country!

shrinkingnora Sun 20-Jan-13 09:54:41

Damn! Bit far from bristol. I genuinely would have come round if you were closer. It is disappointing but make a fuss of her, lots of extra undivided attention, play all the games she wants all day etc build dens and all the things that normally feel like to much hassle and do no housework etc and take loads of pictures. Hope DS's treatment goes well.

Cherriesarelovely Sun 20-Jan-13 09:54:53

Wow, you are having such a tough time. Of course YANBU. I really hope you can find some friends close by to help you celebrate today and that things improve this year for your DS. Massive hugs xxx

aderynlas Sun 20-Jan-13 09:54:54

Happy birthday to your little girl op hope you all have a lovely day. Very best wishes to your dear son.

FortyFacedFuckers Sun 20-Jan-13 11:52:31

Happy birthday to DD

I'm really sorry things are so difficult just now. Xx

No of course not BU. Your family aren't either, it's all crap really. Although it might be worse if they all came and then got stuck with you...

I have a photo of each of my children with their First Birthday Cake and their First Birthday helium Balloon, just to prove They Had A Party. Did they heck.

ajandjjmum Sun 20-Jan-13 11:58:07

So sorry Trazzle - Happy Birthday to DD and hope things go well for DS.

One quick thought - you may well need some support over the next few months - do you think this might provide an excuse for you to invite the neighbours in for a cup of tea to celebrate DD's birthday, and perhaps get to know them a little more. I'd be round like a shot for cake - and would be glad of the opportunity of letting you know you can call on me, if needs be. smile

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 20-Jan-13 14:58:51

I hope you're having a good day smile

Trazzletoes Tue 22-Jan-13 23:03:24

Just to say, we had nice family fun time on Sunday. Had a party scheduled for Monday as well with DS' friends but our snow out paid to that...

More snow play and lots of merriment.

Not the birthday celebrations I had hoped for, and some explaining for her when she is older, but good times nonetheless.

Thank you, all of you, for helping me to see the positives in what we have.

mercibucket Tue 22-Jan-13 23:10:53

glad things went well - at least snow looks exciting in photos!

hope all goes well for your ds this month

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