To HATE my husband's thick orange beard???

(130 Posts)
SplitHeadGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 19:44:25

My husband has grown a really thick beard that covers half his face and completely covers his mouth. He has gone from being gorgeous (like a young Richard Armitage) to looking like a scruffy, unkempt pensioner who has had a really hard life!

I told him weeks ago (stubble stage) that as it was his face, he could of course grow a beard, whatever he wanted and I would support him. BUT....I hadn't counted on how it has affected my physical feelings about him. I find him unattractive and strange to look at, like I don't know him. sad I miss the face I fell in love with.

He is a lot grumpier now too and as he now looks older he has started to ACT older and I wonder if losing his young looks (he could easily get them back if he shaved that damn thing off his face) has made him lose his young personality.

I am cross with myself as I KNOW it is just facial hair and I would hate it if he didn't find me attractive anymore for some stupid physical reason. He has even joined a beard forum (a beard board) where he and a bunch of other guys post pics of themselves and support and encourage each other's beard growth!!!!

Shouldn't I just get over it??? I feel like I am being unreasonable...but I hate that I can't see his beautiful face anymore and that he has changed so much and I hate that I don't find him attractive like this.sad

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sat 19-Jan-13 19:48:32

If it is a turn off, tell him so. Or tell him your neighbour asked how long his dad (or yours) is visiting for.

SplitHeadGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 19:56:48

Haha...brilliant!!! I am 13 years older than him and people have commented how I now look the young one in the relationship.

sigh he has started to wonder why I make excuses not to make love to him. I just wish I could get over it but when it is right there on his face glaring at me every day it isn't something i can just forget about.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sat 19-Jan-13 20:05:13

Well just say you can't stand him, er, giving you oral pleasure now. Did this start off as a moustache for 'Movember'?

StickEmUp Sat 19-Jan-13 20:10:43

Yabu, its his face and tun it around, if he said o had to shave your legs it wold be a weird issue (generally)
Then again, smooth faces make me heave, i love beards.
Am bias wink

Lindsay321 Sat 19-Jan-13 20:12:39

shock

This is exactly what happened to the dad in The Amityville Horror.

You haven't moved house recently have you OP?

Just tell him it's turning you off physically. It's not like it's deliberate, or that you knew it would happen beforehand, and you can't help how you feel.
Give him the facts, preferably as unemotionally as you can, and make sure he knows you still love him, but it's the physical feel and sight of his beard that is putting you off.
Then let him decide what he wants to do. Hopefully he'll decide he'd rather have sex like very naughty rabbits until the mattress catches fire with you than the beard.
If not, wait until next time he pisses you off and immac half his chin in his sleep wink

(Disclaimer, I don't mean it, don't tell me it's abuse please)

parakeet Sat 19-Jan-13 20:22:29

Hah, I knew you would get people lecturing you that you have no business telling him what to do with his face. But you can't help it if you don't fancy him any more.

I suggest the following. First, stop having sex. Refuse his advances each time by gently saying you're not in the mood. When and only when, he initiates a conversation about how you're never in the mood these days, say you're sorry, you know it's wrong to feel like this, and you're not trying to dictate his personal grooming or anything, BUT... [significant pause, look apologetic]... you're finding the beard a bit of a turn-off.

MrsMushroom Sat 19-Jan-13 20:29:37

I had this and fully understand your feelings. I HATED my DHs beard. They're bloody awful and they attract food!

I harped gently on and on about it I'm afraid. He shaved it off.

FrantasticO Sat 19-Jan-13 20:33:28

Poor you.
In A word NO. Yanbu.
Good luck in taming the beast!

redexpat Sat 19-Jan-13 20:33:56

Buy him a copy of The Twits by Roald Dahl?

SashaSashays Sat 19-Jan-13 20:39:31

YANBU I hate beards. They are gross, I find it really hard talking to anyone with a large beard.

DH knows I would see this as grounds for divorce, they repulse me.

MissMarplesMaid Sat 19-Jan-13 20:40:34

Did the grumpiness start before the beard or vice versa? Is he looking after the beard or is it getting unkempt?

Beards dont cause mood changes but mood changes can cause beards (ancient DH wisdom!).

Chottie Sat 19-Jan-13 20:44:53

I hate beards too, they look smelly and unkempt. I know this is totally irrational. BF husband has one and I swear I have seen food bits in it. << gross emotive >>

Hassled Sat 19-Jan-13 20:45:55

My head says you're being really shallow and it's the same man you fell in love with; you shouldn't allow a change in his physical appearance to affect how you feel to this extent.

My heart says this isn't shallow - we all get together with people, initially at least, because of a physical attraction and that remains important throughout.

As to what you can actually do - I dunno. I take it you've tried the full and frank conversation? Or are you scared of going there (I wouldn't blame you)?

mayihaveaboxofchoculaits Sat 19-Jan-13 20:46:14

I was "nice" to my dh about his desparate dan beard for five years,
I should have gently told him it was hideous close up.
He never took the hint(s)sad

Tell him it is getting between you both. Mind you if hes bonded with other blokes,it'll be hard. That kind of guy love can be hard to overcome.

Why don't you join him and grow one yourself?

coldinthesun Sat 19-Jan-13 20:49:45

Kissing a beard is HORRID.

YANBU

cocoachannel Sat 19-Jan-13 20:49:49

Is he a deep sleeper? If so, one word, Immac.

Beamur Sat 19-Jan-13 20:52:56

If my DP looked like Richard Armitage under a beard then I'd be doing whatever was necessary in order to get him to shave it off....
Tell him you find him much more attractive without it. It's up to him if he keeps it or not.

SplitHeadGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 20:53:11

Thanks everyone. smile

Lol @ Amityville Horror....at least he suited the beard (I quite fancied him). My OH's beard is thick and wiry and orange - he is only in his mid twenties and I just think it is so ageing on him. It makes him look very serious and old.

I think I will say to him - tactfully - how I feel. It is a bit of a conundrum coz I do support his full right to do what he wants to his face or body, but I just don't fancy him like this. I just wish my heart was in tangent with my head.

He said he is going to grow it as thick as he can for another 12 weeks. Oh help.

StickEmUp Sat 19-Jan-13 20:54:23

I find it so strange all the beard hating! A male friend gave me a greeting kiss on the cheek. A good looker. He was clean shaven and I could tell had moisturized.
I nearly slid off his face and it made me feel a bit ill.

I ALWAYS tell DH I love his stubble grin

SplitHeadGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 21:01:21

He looks after the beard...he sits stroking it (ugh) but it just looks wrong on such a young man. It is so thick that even though he grooms, he looks untidy and like he smells. He wears glasses in the evenings and honestly you would think it was some old guy sitting there, when in actual fact he is one of the most gorgeous looking men .. I agree with the guy love thing on the beard board - he has 'bonded' with these people and talks like they are in some kind of beard club.

He got quite defensive one day when I hinted that I didn't like it much - he said it was his face and if wanted to have a beard he would. I said I support that, and left it at that. But in truth it feels a little like having a stranger in the house.

Beards are awesome. Fact.

I think you're jealous because he's got a warm face and you get a face full of snow. Maybe you should get one of these

Beamur Sat 19-Jan-13 21:13:36

A colleague of mine has a beard and his girlfriend much prefers him with it, he occasionally shaves it off, but usually grows it back again. I remember having a chat with him (and gf who is a friend of mine too) and asking about the beard and to prove a point he sort of 'whiskered' me with it...I found it disturbingly arousing!!!! As I don't fancy said colleague at all this was an unexpected response grin

mrsjay Sat 19-Jan-13 21:18:52

my dh did the same before christmas not ginger but he looked like a hobo grin and I told him so after weeks of hinting and being subtle about it . he went and got it trimmed and shaped when he got a haircut I have let him keep it for now

quoteunquote Sat 19-Jan-13 21:38:28

When I was a small child I was terrified of men without beards, as my dad has always had a beard, and all of his friends have beards (scientists)

one of them had a red beard that he wore in two plaits they reached below the waist, he also had very long red hair which he wore in a big plait, he also always wore red dungarees and red kickers,

but he didn't have the most impressive beard out of the group, it seemed very competitive.

Dad still has a massive beard which is now brilliant white, no matter where in the world he is every child that spots him thinks he is father christmas/santa much to their parents embarrassment, he does tend to walk round in a kilt and Norwegian jumper, but even in Hawaii on the beach children run up screaming santa, he secretly loves it,

OP, make sure your husband registers with an extra agency, he will get work, TV and film companies are always looking for interesting men.

Porkster Sat 19-Jan-13 21:42:50

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

My dh grew a beard, in competition with a friend.

Within 2 weeks, he resembled Desperate Dan with a hideous, black beard.

I refused to kiss him, so it didn't last long.

kalidanger Sat 19-Jan-13 21:49:25

I was very disturbed how much less attractive I found my ex without a bit of stubble/short beard* shock He just didn't look as hot, even though he was, of course, just as hot hmm Just didn't make me think phwoar and the strength of that was very weird and I felt bad and I kept it to myself until now but I know how you feel, OP. I was older than him too and perhaps him looking older made me feel less odd about that too. What a mess no wonder we broke up.

* this is obvs the sand the other way around

earlyriser Sat 19-Jan-13 21:50:05

My DH grew a beard, which i didn't mind after the stubble phase was over, but when he shaved it off, it instantly made him look 10 years younger. I think he was quite chuffed at that. (ponders if growing my own beard then getting it waxed off would make me look 10 years younger) grin

Useless fact for the day - Pogonophobia is the fear of beards grin

EuroShagmore Sat 19-Jan-13 22:48:02

Face pubes. Yeuch.

In fact, referring to the beard constantly as "face pubes" might help your case.

I like my OH's beard. He looks very strange without it.

Narked Sat 19-Jan-13 22:52:37

YAB really U. It's his face.

YANBU

I prefer my DP with his beard, he looks different if he ever shaves it off, and he knows I prefer it so doesn't ever shave it off any more. It is short, he clippers it regularly, but not shaped at all, just natural hair growth. It is very sexy I tihnk, and lovely to rub against.

SupermassiveLBD Sat 19-Jan-13 23:04:38
DonderandBlitzen Sat 19-Jan-13 23:04:53

Could you let all your hair grow everywhere? Under your arms, down below etc and say that you will keep it for as long as he keeps his beard

DumSpiroSpero Sat 19-Jan-13 23:07:33

Awww Massive - you beat me to it! grin

Alconleigh Sat 19-Jan-13 23:07:57

My ex had his beard shaved off at the barber's, on a whim. When he got home, I actually cried blush He did point out that this was a bit much. He did look like a fat lesbian without it though. I am going to get flamed for that,aren't I?

DumSpiroSpero Sat 19-Jan-13 23:08:53

OP, perhaps he just needs some styling tips!

SupermassiveLBD Sat 19-Jan-13 23:13:23

grin Spiro.

Theshriekingharpy Sat 19-Jan-13 23:14:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumofWombat Sat 19-Jan-13 23:14:18

My DH grew his beard just before I met him, and I totally fancy him with it! His friends and family want him to shave it off - and they really stepped it up before our wedding. I told him that if I walked down the aisle towards a clean shaven person I didn't recognise I'd be walking back up it pretty darn quickly!
I've seen photos, he's much hotter with the beard. But he does groom it, gets regular trims etc.
We are considering doing a beard shave for the charity that supports our DS with his heart condition. Reckon it might be a bit more interesting as I've never known him beardless!

soaccidentprone Sat 19-Jan-13 23:26:30

maybe these have inspired him?

sorry blush

Another beard-lover here. Not those great big bushy ones that you can hide a badger in though - just a 'face-hugging slightly longer than stubble one'.

And on DH, not on me. grin

Lindsay321 Sat 19-Jan-13 23:46:18

Dp sometimes has a beard, I think he thinks he looks "Jedi" with it.

It's totally fine by me. It's his face. I just hate it when he's out in the cold and it get's all condensation-y then he kisses me. Yuck! All wet and cold!

MusicalEndorphins Sat 19-Jan-13 23:46:25

I wouldn't hint I didn't like it, I'd say I hated it. (I do hate facial hair). Can he go all those weeks without sex?
My oldest son grows a beard a few times a year, he says some women like scruffy men.
I don't mind neatly trimmed and groomed facial hair, but not the caveman look.

quoteunquote Sat 19-Jan-13 23:49:25

get him to do this

join this
or these

If you go to a weekend you end up very very drunk on homemade mead and beer.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 19-Jan-13 23:51:03

You either like a beard or you don't, personally I loathe them.
If he was always beardy, fair enough, but to suddenly produce one mid marriage/relationship is not on.
Yuk.

foreverondiet Sat 19-Jan-13 23:51:13

I hate beards.

But say someone's DH said they didn't like their wife's hair or excess weight?

cafecito Sun 20-Jan-13 00:16:11

Oh I LOVE stubble, and short beards, way better than smooth shaven. I hate no stubble/beard

TheSecondComing Sun 20-Jan-13 00:20:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monsterchild Sun 20-Jan-13 00:25:16

YABVVVU, I love my scruffy orange beard wearin' fella!

HopAndSkip Sun 20-Jan-13 00:25:17

grow your leg and armpit hair and dye it bright orange in beard protest wink

edam Sun 20-Jan-13 00:32:13

I'm really not keen on beards but sadly dh is very attached to his (which he didn't grow until we'd been married for years - if only I'd know he'd become a beardy!).

I like longish stubble... I think I'd have to draw the line at a Captain Birdseye effort, orange or otherwise. My DH is bald on top (he's only 34 bless him) I always shove him towards the beard trimmer if he starts to look too much like Richard from Guess Who?(original version).... grin <eighties child disclaimer>

JumpingJackSprat Sun 20-Jan-13 02:27:27

my ex grew a massive blackbeard the pirate beard. it was horrendous. i told him how repulsive i found it. it honestly made my skin crawl and he looked scruffy and like he didnt give a crap about his appearance. i broke up with him shortly after that... not suggesting OP should dump her fella over it, my ex was a twat with or without a beard wink

Kirk1 Sun 20-Jan-13 02:56:16

I personally find DH more attractive with his beard, I was disappointed when he decided to shave it off. Fortunately, he's a bit lazy when it comes to shaving, so a weeks worth of stubble becomes "designer stubble" quite quickly these days. After Christmas with two weeks worth of beard he looked like this guy

I think you can't help what reaction you get to a person's appearance, even your DH, so YANBU to hate the beard if it is a turn-off

MerryCouthyMows Sun 20-Jan-13 02:58:18

I don't do beards. Or bearded men for that matter. I have an 'issue' with beards.

So while it would be TOTALLY any partner of mine's right to grow a beard, it would also be TOTALLY my right not to kiss them, have sex with them, or in any way, shape or form go near face fuzz that actually makes be recoil.

It's not being shallow - couldn't give a crap about extra weight, of whether they shaved their chest / legs / balls / arse, had a disfiguring accident, whatever. Just don't try to put your manky face fuzz anywhere near me, because it feels like a thousand creepy crawly insects are eating my skin.

<<Shrug>> can't change my feelings on that. I make it plain at the start if a relationship that while I can cope with stubble, anything more makes me physically recoil.

nooka Sun 20-Jan-13 03:44:53

I really like beards, so my dh is under instructions not to shave his off. He does every now and then (as is of course totally his right) and then I find it odd to look at him because it makes such a big difference to his face. So I can understand why you are having such a strong reaction.

On the other hand thinking that his beard is making him old, and having such a problem with that is a little odd.

As to how to react, just tell him the truth and see if there is not some compromise you can make about the length, style or time period he has the beard for perhaps. Better to have the problem in the open than fester about it.

JusticeCrab Sun 20-Jan-13 06:28:12

OP: Beards are fantastic, and without mine I look like a vole. But if it's a turn-off for you you should tell him so, rather than finding other excuses not to have sex. There is an excuse: it's the beard! So it has to go. Be frank.

Fairylea Sun 20-Jan-13 06:34:21

I'd just stop shaving any body hair on yourself and see how he likes that... grow your armpit hair and start wearing vests a lot.

mayihaveaboxofchoculaits Sun 20-Jan-13 06:57:58

Just a thought, is the beard the same colour as the head hair?

DH's desparate dan, had light brown (no yellow in it) on the head ,and a big bushy red beard.
The barber used to ask him why he couldnt manage to grow them the same colour!

nooka Sun 20-Jan-13 07:33:36

I really like beards, so my dh is under instructions not to shave his off. He does every now and then (as is of course totally his right) and then I find it odd to look at him because it makes such a big difference to his face. So I can understand why you are having such a strong reaction.

On the other hand thinking that his beard is making him old, and having such a problem with that is a little odd.

As to how to react, just tell him the truth and see if there is not some compromise you can make about the length, style or time period he has the beard for perhaps. Better to have the problem in the open than fester about it.

sweetkitty Sun 20-Jan-13 07:54:42

Another beard hater here, DP goes through stages of thinking about growing a beard he gets to about a week then shaves it off. It's his ambition to grow a full beard, there will be no sex if he does!

lambbone Sun 20-Jan-13 08:43:16

Quote your dad sounds AWESOME! My dad has a beard- no Santa affair though-and is shiny bald. Both these conditions have applied throughout my life-I'm 49. So while I have no problem with beards, I've never been out with a bloke with one- too much like dad? Mum seems to like it though- they've been married 50 years.

MoreBeta Sun 20-Jan-13 08:51:43

"Beards dont cause mood changes but mood changes can cause beards (ancient DH wisdom!). "

Totally agree.

Blokes who suddenly grow beards or moustaches usually do it for a reason. Sort of like a visible sign of rebellion or hiding something.

Honestly, its true. The decision to suddenly grow a beard or moustache takes a very significant shift of mind after years of shaving.

maddening Sun 20-Jan-13 08:52:24

Stick some googly eyes on it and call it rex?

I like the shaving strike - or get a bushy style merkin?

DH recently gone the beardy way. It just takes some getting used too. Now when he shaves I think he looks like a baby.

Beta mine was because I don't like shaving grin

Idiom Sun 20-Jan-13 09:12:31

Beards rock. BUT two rules. One, they must have a shave line at an appropriate place on the neck thus avoiding the scruffy werewolf look. Two, trim carefully around the lip area thus avoiding scratching your wife during snoggage.

TepidCoffee Sun 20-Jan-13 09:13:29

Quote, your dad sounds brilliant.

SparkyTGD Sun 20-Jan-13 09:18:59

I hate beards

I give you

Jake Gyllenhaal stubbly phwoooarr grin

or

Jake Gyllenhaal with beard.

I rest my case.

Chandon Sun 20-Jan-13 09:35:08

My DH grew a big beard about a year ago. Sometimes he trims it and shapes it a bit. He also grew his hair long, he has thick wavy hair so he now looks...ehm....rather biblical.

I have told him I do not find it attractive.....he shrugs
His boss told him to shave it off and cut his hair and wear a tie ( he works in a bank!).....but nothing
Our friends call him Rasputin, Thor or Evan Almighty
His football coach said : I did not know Jesus played football!
His old friends say he looks about 10 years older
His mum sent him the last boden catalogue, as he looks just like the bearded model in it.
I tried to convince him that a beard is not cool, but very Boden

But nothing changed his mind.

So no advice. But sympathy!

Jayne266 Sun 20-Jan-13 09:37:14

Everytime my husband gets to scruffy stubble stage I tell him to shave and I told him am sorry but I don't find him attractive with long stubble or beard.

Stinkyminkymoo Sun 20-Jan-13 09:41:32

My mother always said never trust a man with a beard.

Yorkshire ripper
Harold shipman
Mr twit
Bluebeard

Bet there are more! Still, they are creepy, and unpleasant.
look what happens when beards go bad

<sobs at Hugh Jackman>

Lavenderhoney Sun 20-Jan-13 09:48:22

Really he goes on beard forums? I never knew there was such a thing! Much sympathy as I don't mind a bit of stubble but not beardy and long plus the stroking thing would make me cringe. Dh has to shave as the dc won't kiss him otherwise and any bedroom activity is a distant memory.

How orange is it? I don't know what to suggest. Could he shave it off for charity? Have you lo that might get nits and they get in his beard?

Idreamofafullnightssleep Sun 20-Jan-13 09:49:17

I refuse to go anywhere near my Dh when he has a clean shave! When I kiss him it feels like I am having an affair and all wrong! I love his stubble and it suits him.

We came to an agreement he keeps his goatee and I keep my hair long (not a problem for me as I look hideous with short hair).

ppeatfruit Sun 20-Jan-13 10:13:44

I remember when DH grew his beard it was to hide his double chin!!!! he thinks no one notices it but it is less obvious thoughgrin The beard IS kept carefully trimmed and short and suits him. I'm used to it!!!

But big, long, red and bushy NOOOO shock YADNBU

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 10:18:06

Ginger beard = red flag. Every time.

Leave the bastard.

pictish Sun 20-Jan-13 10:21:18

I love my dh's beard!! It's all grizzly and phoooowaaaarrrr!!!

YABU!

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 10:23:35

PanMNHQ

We'll be shortly moving this thread to the Bullying section. Peace and love.

ppeatfruit Sun 20-Jan-13 10:27:09

I'm not being gingist I'd hate any long, bushy unkempt beard whatever colour grin

TheRatsTheRats Sun 20-Jan-13 10:32:25

I LOVES it!!

So much softer, no scratching. Awesome :D

moondog Sun 20-Jan-13 10:38:51

Ah Quote,I am laughing so hard that my dh (now beardless thanks to my prolonged jiggery pokery protest boycott) is asking what I am reading and he is two rooms away.

Split, one sees an awful lot of orange beards in Muslim countries. When the chaps have been to Mecca they often colour them to signal this pilgrimage has been completed.

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 10:45:24

Peace and Love Theme.
And this is dedicated to the OP.

moondog Sun 20-Jan-13 10:46:08

<guffaw> at Pan.
God, you don't have a beard do you?

McNewPants2013 Sun 20-Jan-13 10:57:29

I hate it when DH is not shaven, he looks like a HoBo.

sparklekitty Sun 20-Jan-13 11:21:39

I generally hate beards, however, my dh grew one a few years ago as part of movember and I realised he looks hot with facial hair. His mum hate it and makes comments whenever we see her.

He has to keep it tidy and not too long coz of his job but I think it makes him look even more handsome. Facial hair doesnt suit everyone though

ChouetteMouette Sun 20-Jan-13 11:43:39

I love my DH's beard...and hate it when he shaves it off! I tend to find men more attractive if they have a beard or stubble.

hoarseoldfrog Sun 20-Jan-13 11:50:34

I am a beard enthusiast. OH shaved his off for Movember and I couldn't even look him in the face or kiss him, was like having a stranger in the house. It has stayed since whoop whoop!

Pan Sun 20-Jan-13 11:58:58

moondog - no I don't but I see where the attraction thing comes from - 20 to 30 yrs was quite the hirsute - but on separation from a 'difficult' relationship, I shaved it off, which she said helped her as I looked so different to the chap she knew. Clean ever since.

<boy do I EVER want to hold that Andy Murray down with a cut throat and do away with his bumfluff>

PessaryPam Sun 20-Jan-13 12:15:08

I loathe beards and I really feel for the OP.

Always makes me think of this chap and his like.
i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01366/anjem-choudary_1366606f.jpg

racingheart Sun 20-Jan-13 12:38:04

Op - tell him. Just as he has the right to grow whatever he wants on his face, he also has the right to know what turns his wife on and off. Just tell him you find beards physically and sexually repulsive, and though it's his right to have one, it's your right to be turned on and off by whatever works for you.

Personally, they're a massive turn off. All the men in my dad's generation in our family have them, so I associate them with old blokes with fixed ideas.

Smellslikecatspee Sun 20-Jan-13 12:57:31

Another beard lover here.

OH has just shaved his off and I hate it, so I do get where you're coming from. It does make a big difference.

Talk to him

Slubberdegullion Sun 20-Jan-13 13:26:43

Aw OP, I feel for you. Beards are the marmite of the follicle world. Maybe you need to give it more time to make friends with the beard, you know like kids with food phobias. Take it on a picnic, spread jam on it, sniff it and feel it.

I'm in the beard camp myself (lover-of not owner-of). Could never go back to a smooth man. Beards add another element to fun-on-your-husbands-face. Love a nice big thick beard.

Slubberdegullion Sun 20-Jan-13 13:28:42

Fun-on-your-husband's-apostrophe-s-face that should be.

I do not have a cohort of bearded husbands, more's the pity.

I don't know about beards, I was clicking on guilty food pleasures and ended up here. Beards are not my guilty food pleasure, that would be weird and wrong.

megglevache Sun 20-Jan-13 14:10:49

This is a strange one for me. When I was younger I went out with a very hot boy who was in a rock group and his stubbly effort was divine...I have a thing for men with nice beards actually and admire them greatly (Brad Pitt's overgrow nasty I don't like but when men are starting to go a bit grey and grow out stubble Matt LeBlanc, George Clooney etc...phrooooar

OTOH if my dh grew one I'd run a mile.....his movember almost flayed 20 layers of skin off my face.....you could knit with a strand of his beard hair...no/no/no....and if I grew my hair on my legs and he told me he fancied me better smooth I'd shave.

Splitheadgirl, I misread the guy who you said your dh resembled and Googled john armitage instead of Richard....hahahahahaha- please do the same, you may look at your bearded dh in a different light!

megglevache Sun 20-Jan-13 14:13:13
Bue Sun 20-Jan-13 14:28:32

You need to talk to him OP. I love beards and I HATE it when DH decides to go clean shaven. It actually gives me the creeps, he becomes like a different person that I don't know and I can't even stand him kissing me - I feel like I'm kissing a woman! When I raised this the first few times he was really upset - told me I wanted him to be a different person and I didn't like his face and I wanted him to hide half of it confused, which in turn upset me. But he has now 'gotten' it. This isn't really something you can easily get over, so you need to explain it to him!

I love beards, my DH has one, I love it. If he came down stairs clean shaven I would probably cry, genuinely.

oh baby, yesss!

PS when he first grew it I didn't like it, it was tickly and I didn't like the hairs going near my mouth, but now I love it, maybe give it some time?

wow, ive just read the thread, so much beard hate??

They are so sexy!!

fussychica Sun 20-Jan-13 15:51:21

DH usually has a stubble growth these days and I like it but not sure how I'd feel about a full beard. OP think you must tell him if it's a real turn off.

Once went out with a 6ft 4in great looking guy with a full beard - I do wonder if he would have been as good looking without but I never found outgrin

thegreylady Sun 20-Jan-13 16:05:42

My dh has a big bushy white beard and I love it smile
At Christmas small children think he is santa in mufti !

aquashiv Sun 20-Jan-13 17:40:10

I would say there is something comforting about a beard - a scarf for the chin. I would let him get on with it you can hire him out next December.

Helgicita Sun 20-Jan-13 19:22:40

I love my DH's beard! I realise now that I have always been attracted to men with beards they seem more masculine somehow. His beard is rather unruly at times, it looks better when he's given it a trim, and he's got a bit of grey in it now too but phwoooorr he's gorgeous. He had it when I met him, at the age of 22 so I've never known him clean shaven. The reason for the beard: Why shave if you don't have to!

Lueji Sun 20-Jan-13 19:32:09

Does he look like this?

www.listal.com/viewimage/2450205h

You can send him my way. smile

SminkoPinko Sun 20-Jan-13 19:40:34

Full on father christmas type beards in any colour are utterly horrible and wrong. It shouldn't be a matter of his face his choice either. Faces can be seen be everyone and pogonophobia is rife so it is a public health issue. He must shave it off.

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 20-Jan-13 19:57:09

gross, all those bits of food stuck in it. Withdraw favours until it has gone...or LTB (sorry, couldn't resist!) wink
I hope he gets rid of it soon.

milkandribena Sun 20-Jan-13 20:26:55

I really don't like beards. Tell him OP just tell him

Now I love stubble, just love it but never ever a beard

expatinscotland Sun 20-Jan-13 20:50:32

Gross. No, I don't do facial hair on men.

SplitHeadGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 21:03:39

Wow everyone thank you so much for all the great replies!!! I was laughing out loud at them - it cheered me up no end!! smile

I have decided to take the advice and tell him at the first real opportunity that I just CANNOT like the beard. More than that - I loathe, detest and abhor it!! I hate that it is so wiry and orange (he has beautiful shiny conker-brown head on his head yet his beard is JUST like pubes like a poster said!!).

I was thinking about not shaving and letting myself go a bit haha, and seeing what he said...but going by past history, he never seems to think I look bad even when I DO. I wish I was like him that way. sad

I think the most irritating part for me is that he is doing this NOW, after years of knowing each other, and it is out of the blue and I had no idea he ever wanted to do this and change himself. I just want him back how he was.

The thing is, I sometimes do like beards (on older men with broad sort of faces) and made the mistake of telling him that - but his looks shocking!!

He even has a 'beardspiration' (as he calls it) - a singer called Michael McDonald. He sits watching his videos on Youtube, admiring his beard!!!!! It's crazy!!

comelywenchlywoo Sun 20-Jan-13 21:05:45

I like DH's beard. When he shaves it off he looks like he's twelve and stubbles me to death. When he has a beard it's soft and manly (if that's possible).
When he was working on the boats for six weeks he came back rather captain birdseye (but brown/ginger), but when it's trimmed neatish it's hot!

I feel for you OP, there's no easy option. If you were a bloke saying you no longer found your missus attractive as she'd put on weight I'd be horrified, but on the otherhand you can't help how you feel. Shame you can't do a course on "learning to live with beards" or "beard appreciation - part one"
FYI I wouldn't bother not shaving until he shaves if I were you. Does anyone's DH really care if she's shaved her legs or not as long as he's getting some? Maybe that's just my DH blush

Jeremy Piven is on now as Mr Selfridge for all you fellow beard lovers smile

comelywenchlywoo Sun 20-Jan-13 21:09:28

oh cross posts OP - I see our DHs are indeed alike!

He watches youtube vids of beards? shock He needs help wink

P.s him watching beardy vids is nothing like me googling Emilia Fox last night to see her hair....no not at all......

My DP participates in the Beard and Moustache Championships. It's serious stuff!!

He is also brown of hair and ginger of beard. I like the way he looks- but I couldn't bear the way that it felt on my face.

So.... miracle product reveal time: beardwash and conditioner. It's apparently formulated specially for beards and gets rid of the pubic feeling and leaves it shiny and bouncy lol.

Has worked wonders here OP, so at least if he won't abandon the beard get him to tame it!!!

Jack Passion

Seems to be every man's beardy pinup. It's all very odd.

SminkoPinko Sun 20-Jan-13 22:03:31

That Jack Passion beard is disgusting. [vomit] I once had training from someone with extreme fingernails which she never cut. They were about a foot long, curling in hideous spirals and vile in the same way as a full facial beard.

You can't compare gnarly fingernails to a beard.

Having a beard doesn't affect your ability to wipe your arse.... gnarly fingernails do!

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 04:58:37

DH grew a tache once. It made him look like a used-car salesman.
He grew a goatee once - it made him look gay.
Then he went the whole hog and grew a beard - he looked like David Bellamy but without the matching hair.

I coped with the tache, it amused me.
I hated the goatee (so did he)
I couldn't stand the beard, but luckily he shaved it off after a few days of hot July weather (he'd grown it while in Australia, in winter, and we had a hot July when he came over to visit) grin

I sympathise, OP - your DH is being a bit selfish because it's not just about him, is it - and it's not something he can do nothing about either. DH now tends to not shave every day, and I don't like the stubble because it grates; but he won't shave more just because I say so. I can live with that - but if he insisted on being stubbly all the time I'd be a bit pissed off with him.

I like beards on some men though, they can look very attractive. Just not on DH (perpendicular-to-the-skin bristly hair growth)

cheeseandpineapple Mon 21-Jan-13 08:13:04

Maybe he's inspired by Richard Armitage more than you think..

http://collider.com/richard-armitage-the-hobbit-interview/205430/

cheeseandpineapple Mon 21-Jan-13 08:14:58

You have my sympathy... my DP has grown a disgusting bushy moustache over the past year. He looks like my dad. HUGE turn off.

I've gone from dropping hints to referring to it as a monstrosity. I can't kiss him, it's horrible. We haven't kissed for about a year!

He's gone from being a tattooed, handsome bass player - to a hairy, pipe smoking clone of my dad!

LexiLoganberryBump Mon 21-Jan-13 09:36:17

I love my dh beard, althought it is a neat well kept short stubble one, he does shave it off every so often just to freshen up his face and he looks really weird, without it his face looks really big, that sounds terrible doesn't it.

I don't like bushy beards, but my dh wouldn't of kept it if he knew I hated it.

VikingLady Mon 21-Jan-13 10:15:20

I told DH that kissing him with a beard was like kissing my dad and so I wouldn't be kissing him that much. Though of course it was his choice.....

VikingLady Mon 21-Jan-13 10:15:44

Clean shaven or stubble now grin

LadyHarrietdeSpook Mon 21-Jan-13 11:05:29

I was trying to link to a photo of Joaquin Phoenix - another case of Man Gone Bad with Beard.

Could you cope with a 'light beard' ? I quite like Giles C's and wouldn't mind at all if DH went for something like that.

What a funny hobby! Beard Boards. I love it! (But I can see why you wouldn't!!)

DeafLeopard Mon 21-Jan-13 11:33:57

What Merry said.

A beard is more of a turn-off than Y fronts

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