to not want to lend my new car out?

(121 Posts)
InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:13:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhateverTrevor Sat 19-Jan-13 11:14:43

Sounds like a good idea to me.

manicbmc Sat 19-Jan-13 11:14:59

Say no. They have transport. It's your car.

mellen Sat 19-Jan-13 11:15:56

I don't think that is on, and it sounds like they know that too which is why they are being jokey about it to test the water.

RuleBritannia Sat 19-Jan-13 11:16:14

Say no. If they want that sort of transport, they an get their own - not lean on you.

RuleBritannia Sat 19-Jan-13 11:16:32

they *can get their own.

specialsubject Sat 19-Jan-13 11:16:49

are you all insured for each others' cars, then?

Schnarkle Sat 19-Jan-13 11:18:02

NOOOOOOO no nonononononononono. I bet I can predict how this thread will run too with all the bleeding hearts loaning out your car to them.

StuntGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 11:18:44

I wouldn't want to lend my brand new car out either. Sounds like they're testing the water hoping you'll offer. Just laugh it off and ignore.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sat 19-Jan-13 11:18:47

No way on earth would i let someone borrow my new car for that long or distance, the only reason why my mum drove my car, because she picked it up from the forecourt, only in emergencies will others be allowed to use my car.

Schnarkle Sat 19-Jan-13 11:19:32

and to add, I can just hear the "joking" way a small bit of damage to the bumper/door/window/insert new car part here would be told to the OP too.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:21:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeLily Sat 19-Jan-13 11:21:31

No no no.

They can wrack up mileage on their own cars.

Selfish beggars.

Quick quick plan something for that weekend that you will need the car for! smile

FellatioNels0n Sat 19-Jan-13 11:22:17

YANBU. Bloody cheek actually. Presumably if you could manage quite happily with a small car like theirs you'd have bought one.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sat 19-Jan-13 11:23:13

I would assume that Mother and Sister dont have fully comp insurance for this new car, if they intending to use their own insurance, then its 3rd party only, which means if they have a accident and its their fault, then your will have damage, that you or DM, Dsis, will have to fix out of your own pocket.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:25:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Schnarkle Sat 19-Jan-13 11:26:26

Nope rest assured it's not selfish to say no to this grin

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:27:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarletforya Sat 19-Jan-13 11:27:00

They're just chancing their arms. They know you're a people pleaser so they're hoping you'll be a soft touch. They'll manage fine with their own cars. It's totally unreasonable of them to want to borrow your brand new car! Cheeky!

scottishmummy Sat 19-Jan-13 11:27:24

hell no
switch your phone off
ignore them

Bogeyface Sat 19-Jan-13 11:28:19

"Jokingly" tell them that you are glad that they are "joking".

AnneTwacky Sat 19-Jan-13 11:28:35

If I'd just forked out for a new car, no way would I be lending it out, especially for a holiday that's a 500 mile round trip. It's not a reasonable request and they know it, which is why they were mentioning it "jokingly".

I'm not convinced that your insurers would be happy about it either, so if necessary, there's your get out.

MrsGeologist Sat 19-Jan-13 11:29:37

Just say you need it that week, and then change the subject.

It'd have to be for something pretty special for me to loan out my car for a week, and someone else's holiday isn't special enough.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sat 19-Jan-13 11:29:57

and add miles on too, when i got my new car, it had 37 miles on it, i enjoyed that, 11,111 miles now in 2 and half years.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:30:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Casmama Sat 19-Jan-13 11:30:56

Tell them they can borrow it or £600 and the loan of one of their cars.

aderynlas Sat 19-Jan-13 11:31:15

Couldnt they hire a people carrier type of car and leave both of their cars at home. Like someone else said plan a little trip yourself around the same time op.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 19-Jan-13 11:31:54

I've had the occasional relative (and ex husband!) suggesting they should borrow my car. I have simply said the rule is that NOBODY borrows my car, ever. That way they know where they stand and can't accuse me of playing favourites. It doesn't matter who I trust more than anyone else, it's just no and there's an end to it. Don't get into why not or they'll argue you round.

No way. I never get this idea that you should lend out anything you like. I wouldn't lend anyone my old car, never mind my new car. No way, never.

Katla Sat 19-Jan-13 11:32:35

If you don't want to then just say no - say it jokingly if that makes it easier. I've sometimes said yes to lending things - my horse, an expensive outfit for a wedding - and then regretted it. I now am more confident just saying no straight away and not coming up with reasons or excuses that the other person can argue about. Just no, sorry I'd rather not do that (and repeat as necessary!)

However, it is just a car so replaceable if anything went wrong (they'd have to agree to pay for it of course and you'd have to trust them to do so).

They do sound like they are hinting hoping you will agree - so either just be thick and joke back - or stop them now by a straight no if you don't want to. I think they have a cheek doing it the way they are - because if they'd asked you straight, saying they have a request but no pressure to agree, then you may feel better about it.

The main thing is to be happy with your decision. I mean they've clearly arranged the holiday before you bought the car so must have prior plans. Also do you have a DP/H - make sure they aware of your feelings - as my DH lent my car to my brother (he knew I would say no!)

Pinot Sat 19-Jan-13 11:33:39

tell em noooooooooooooo
and get ds2 to high-kick em ;)

soz one handed typing

ProphetOfDoom Sat 19-Jan-13 11:33:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMarplesMaid Sat 19-Jan-13 11:36:34


I have done loads of car holidays I assume there are children involved in this holiday. This will mean food being eaten in the car, someone inevitably will be sick (or is that only my family?)

From experience once someone holidays in a car ever after it will smell like tramps live in it!

Of course this will happen if you go on holiday in your car but that is your perogative

I guess that your DSis & DM have talked themselves into this to the point where they can only see their own logic. You may well have to be firm.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:37:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:39:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 19-Jan-13 11:40:52

Oh, and they'd be running thousands of pounds of value off your car just by doing a few hundred miles at this stage of its life. Google depreciation calculators and tell the cheeky feckers - laughingly if you must - how much you would need to charge them to compensate.

BlahBlahWhatever Sat 19-Jan-13 11:41:16

No is a complete sentence.

maddening Sat 19-Jan-13 11:41:52

I wouldn't lend it - and I wouldn't ask to borrow it either.

Boobz Sat 19-Jan-13 11:43:37

I would lend it.

MrsGeologist Sat 19-Jan-13 11:44:52

Get DH on board with telling them to jog on.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 11:45:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMarplesMaid Sat 19-Jan-13 11:48:03

I really wouldnt lend it. No matter what you agree with them it will come back with a few mystery scratches, full of sweety wrappers and with a suspiciously strong smell of febreeze.

All of which will be jokingly laughed off.

cloudpuff Sat 19-Jan-13 11:48:37

I wouldn't loan it either, like you said its new to you and if any damage occured to it they would prob joke about that too.

We loan our car out and family have kindly loaned us theres when we have been stuck but this was just for local door to door runs. I'd neverdream of asking to borrow a car to go on holiday with. BIL scratched the inside of our car to pieces so we dont loan him it anymore and he knows why

Pinot Sat 19-Jan-13 11:52:59

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Just tell them.

Honestly, it's silly - if they scratch it, you'll seethe. Seething is so unattractive <vain>

I don't believe anyone saying they'd lend their new shiny car for a 500mile trip. Unless I'm a total cunt? Meh. Tell em NO. In CAPITALS.

DoodlesNoodles Sat 19-Jan-13 11:53:44

I lent my car my brother once, next time he asked it was, ahem, unavailable. Once bitten twice shy.

countrykitten Sat 19-Jan-13 11:54:05

Say your DH says no...this is what I do when my family are being a pia. It is cowardly and feeble but it always works! smile

HecateWhoopass Sat 19-Jan-13 11:56:15

Not unreasonable at all.

The assumption would piss me off more than anything. The idea that they somehow have a right to your car and you have to lend it to them.

I think I'd either laugh right back and say "Oh, you're so funny. As if I'd do that! Can you imagine? No, but seriously, have you decided which hire company you're going to use?"

Or the more straightforward "Yeah, I can tell you now that's not going to happen."

scottishmummy Sat 19-Jan-13 11:57:42

why do adult women need dh to speak up for them.fuck sake
grow a spine you don't need dh to protect or talk up for you
of you habitually let family walk over you they will

Viviennemary Sat 19-Jan-13 11:58:19

Absolutely do not lend it to them. They've got a cheek even asking. Just say you got in touch with your insurance company and they advised you not to lend it or your premiums will go up. Even if that's rubbish. grin

ipswichwitch Sat 19-Jan-13 12:02:47

No way would I do it. My DBro actually asked to borrow my car once to drive to Poland. Even though he had his own car, but claimed it wouldn't make it there - and my 11 yr old fiesta would?? Then he got all huffy when I said no hmm
I can also see where this is heading - the "joking" way they inform you that it's only a scratch/dent/missing bumper when they return the car

No way. The only time I would allow someone to drive my car would be if I was seriously ill and needed them to drive me to hospital.

SpicyPear Sat 19-Jan-13 12:06:25

Not selfish. Perfectly reasonable. in fact they are rude to ask.

Never lend cars out full stop, it never ends well. Politely but clearly tell them to do one.

SpicyPear Sat 19-Jan-13 12:07:43

Having seen the roads in Poland ipswich, what a cheek!

BarnYardCow Sat 19-Jan-13 12:09:08

No way, I would say no too, if you lend it once that will be it!

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jan-13 12:10:15

YANBU. And fuck getting your DH to do it or any of that crap. Say, 'No way! That will never happen,' and change the subject.

Boobz Sat 19-Jan-13 12:10:55

I used to feel, say and do the same as everyone else on this thread.

And then a few times (not a huge number - maybe 3 or 4 notable people stick out in my memory) someone did something like this for me, and I remember thinking "gosh, I really should loosen up and be more like them because it's lovely when someone goes above and beyond and helps you out in a way that not many other people do". It made me really stop and think about how I approach life, my things, my time and so on. We (as a family of 4 and another one on the way) arrived in Kenya at the beginning of last year and were waiting for a car to arrive from the UK. In that time, a (very new, but now very dear) friend just lent out their (new to them) car to us for 6 weeks, because they wanted to help us out. We were blown away by the generosity, and it made our new life so much more manageable (we couldn't have afforded to rent one for 6 weeks). I thought to myself, "I probably wouldn't have done that, I am not as lovely as they are, but now I will try to be and try to think like they do the next time someone asks for my help or needs something from me".

I also have a friend (whom I met on mumsnet) who was so generous with her time, her house, her love, for my children it also totally blew me away. Nothing was too much trouble, even when my kids were uber annoying (and believe me, they are MADDENINGLY annoying) and yet she was always there to help. I thought then, again, I need to be more like her - giving my time, love and energy because it's AMAZING when someone does that for you (and especially your children), for no other reason than they can, and it makes the receiver's life better.

So I would loan them the car because someone did it for me once, and I have tried to view life a bit more like them now, and I am happier for it.

Obviously if they scratch it or do something to it then they have to cover the cost. But I doubt they would!

Also, the joking way they are hinting is a bit rubbish - they should just outright ask rather than assume anything - I agree there.

<disclaimer - I am not a martyr or holier-than-thou, honest, I have just been affected by other people's selflessness in the past and am now trying to be a bit more like them>.

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jan-13 12:13:48

Boobz, she needs the car for her business, too.

Nope, don't loan it out. You need this car for your livelihood.

There's no such thing as karma fairies.

Just to add one more 'YANBU' point - if it is new, if something goes wrong with it (I hope not) and you decide you don't want it any more, you are covered under the Sale of Goods act - you can reject the purchase within a 'reasonable' time frame, if it's not of good quality.

However, having done 500 miles in it might affect your case here - the more miles you've done and the longer you've kept it without finding the fault, the more likely it is that the garage will cause you hassle saying you'd 'accepted' the purchase.

You really, really don't want to discover that your mum and sister drove it 500 miles, there's now a fault, and you don't feel you know if it's original or something they did to it, as well.

So please don't lend it out!

sparkle9 Sat 19-Jan-13 12:15:49

YANBU. I wouldn't let anyone borrow my car. Don't agree!

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 12:18:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy Sat 19-Jan-13 12:20:38

is there history for you being pressured/coerced by them?you said people pleaser
why do you feel unable today no,what's the passivity about.what can you do about it
yes it's nice to have good rapport and feel fuzzy people are happy but that doesn't=doormat

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 12:22:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy Sat 19-Jan-13 12:23:35

reading your post,you seem to be exceptionally eager to please.why.
I wouldn't routinely do any of this things,it's reads like a rip the piss list
being a nice person doesn't mean being everyone go to butler/skivvy/driver/nanny

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 12:25:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boobz Sat 19-Jan-13 12:26:16

I didn't see the bit about needing it for your business, sorry InNeatCognac. I totally understand that if it is going to be an inconvenience for your livelihood, then of course it's not reasonable to lend it out.

And I'm sure you are a nice person! I didn't mean to say you, or anyone else on this thread, wasn't! Just that I would lend it out as part of my new going-beyond-ethos; I totally get that other people's going-beyond is different than mine.

P.S. Am not really that lovely - am about to flush DD2's head down the loo because she WON'T STOP MOANING AT ME.

ipswichwitch Sat 19-Jan-13 12:34:35

Exactly spicypear
I've learned the hard way that with some people the more you do for them the more they expect. For the sake of my health I have had to start saying no a lot more. Frankly I don't believe in karma anymore. If it were true, then I'd be a millionaire supermodel by now judging by how much of myself I have given to others grin
I do what I can but IMO borrowing my car for long distance journeys when I need it myself is a step too far

Sallyingforth Sat 19-Jan-13 12:45:17

In addition to all the other sensible comments above, if you lend them the car now they will have established a precedent and will expect to borrow it again for future holidays.
Just say no.

Drizzleit Sat 19-Jan-13 12:51:22

Good point sallyingforth, if the op lets them borrow it this year they'll want to borrow it every year!

countrykitten Sat 19-Jan-13 13:01:12

Scottishmummy - don't really understand your bile. My DH helps me out in situations and I help him out. My family are awkward and have trampled all over me in the past - my DH helps me out. We love each other - it's what we do. So don't get your knickers in a twist about it.

scottishmummy Sat 19-Jan-13 13:08:02

I see you're capable of rude comment online,but not standing up for self in rl?
so you need to work on that.the indignation you feel at me online,get it in rl too
i do think needing another adult to talk up for you is not ideal. work on your assertiveness

greenpostit Sat 19-Jan-13 13:10:18

Absolutely not.
No way would I do this. I did lend my car to my brother once because at the time I had an estate and he had a small car and he was extremely grateful and did not abuse the kindness(or car!) in any way. It was only for the day though and he is very careful with stuff and not a pisstaker.

MsPickle Sat 19-Jan-13 13:54:50

Boobz, for me the difference in your story and OPs is that it doesn't sound like you made a new friend and then said," oh, by the way, I'll be needing your new car for 6 weeks, that's alright isn't it?" It sounds like that if OPs family had backed off she's the sort of person who might have offered. And that's the difference. And why they are taking the piss. I reckon I'm pretty generous when needed but will draw lines in the sand. EG lending a good suitcase to a friend to go away for a week but not lending it to a friend going away for 9months +. Reasonable vs unreasonable.

Andro Sat 19-Jan-13 14:09:55

The only person who drives my car other than me is DH (and vice versa)...this is something I have no intention of changing.


countrykitten Sat 19-Jan-13 16:04:07

scottishmummy since you do not know me in rl I shall ignore your silly and rude comments. What I will say is that you perhaps could improve your manners online as you come across as a rather unpleasantly over opinionated person.

countrykitten Sat 19-Jan-13 16:06:44

I will just add that there are various ways of getting the outcome you require and that being overly blunt about it can get people's backs up - especially family members. Families are tricky things at the best of times and the OP will I am sure find a way to not loan her car out if that is what she wants to do - however this is achieved, this is a good result so everyone's happy.

scottishmummy Sat 19-Jan-13 16:21:22

you don't know anyone on mn,it's online strangers opining.that's the point.
if you chose to ignore comments on don't know you basis,you'll be ignoring all mn
country you have been opinionated,rude, too but presumably think that's your pov,whereas im rude?you come across touchy and easily irritated

foslady Sat 19-Jan-13 16:24:48

It didn't coat me £600 to borrow a 7 seater for a week - tell them to look elsewhere. I just priced up at Budget rentacar for 7 seater it's £368 for a friday pick up return it on the saturday of the following week. £368 is not worth the arguments, upsets and worry lending out your car would cause, AND THEY SHOULD STOP TRYING TO TAKE YOU FOR A MUG!!!!!!!

Hell no, just treat it like a joke and laugh at them.

Bobyan Sat 19-Jan-13 16:30:57

I also don't think blaming your Dh is a good idea, they need to understand that you are capable of being assertive.
By blaming it on him, you continue to sound subservient to other people.

DontmindifIdo Sat 19-Jan-13 16:31:12

If they ask again, say "Oh god were you serious? No, I don't want to loan you my car for a week, but I think [insert hire car company near you] have a deal on right now, have you checked what it would cost to rent one?"

Deflect away from you being 'unhelpful' with a helpful suggestion, and of course they won't have checked out the cost of renting because they'd only thought in terms of your car for free compared to driving theirs, they haven't thought more along the lines of "we need a 7 seater for the holiday, what are our options to get one?" that way if they've put their planning round having your car, you can repeat again they could rent because you need yours.

Yours is not the only 7 seater they can get in the world, yours might be the only one they could get for free.

countrykitten Sat 19-Jan-13 16:34:01

Interested to see where you think I have been rude, but then again, maybe not.

I was merely making a point that having people to help you negotiate situations does not necessarily mean that you lack assertiveness. Perhaps tact is called for on occasion - but possibly not in your world where everything is clearly black and white.

countrykitten Sat 19-Jan-13 16:36:53

Bobyan - I disagree. As I have said, families can be tricky and rifts easily formed. If using a husband based excuse works then why not if the OP does not feel comfortable in just saying 'no'? If she did feel comfortable about just saying no and did not need some help/support then she would have done it in the first place and would not be on here asking for advice.

Blu Sat 19-Jan-13 16:38:09

If you have a 7 seater you presumably need a 7 seater part of the time, (in addition to your ferrying for other people) so just tell them, no, you bought it because you need it and ned it during their holiday!

They are being incredibly cheeky - presumptous, really. Don't let them take you for granted.

I sounds as if your brother will back you up and tell them ehat's what if they react badly to being told no.

timidviper Sat 19-Jan-13 16:42:12

I used to have a Picasso and my DB "jokingly" suggested it would be much easier for him to use it to take his family and MIL for a citybreak. I "jokingly" agreed but specified I would need to use his too small car for the weekend in return. He had a Jaguar at the time and rapidly went off the idea!

Blu Sat 19-Jan-13 16:52:12

OP, it really isn't selfish of you to wnat to keep your new, saved-up-for pride and joy to yourself. It's yours, you need it. A holiday with 7 people will cause significant wear and tear, IME. It will come back with the seats grubby and the inside of the boot scraped. It will have 1000 miles + on the clock. Your next service, oil and tyre change will be that much closer.

There is no reason at all to feel guilty at saying no.

Flisspaps Sat 19-Jan-13 16:53:25

Absolutely no way.

It is your car.

Your nice, new, shiny car.

You need it for you. You need it for work. They have a perfectly adequate mode of transport.

Tell them that if you were to use their car, that's going to cause more paperwork for you - copies of insurance/MoT certificates for Ofsted and risk assessments, (and needing specific business insurance for work), moving car seats about - would you have enough seats for your DC and minded children if you had just their car?

Or just tell them no.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 19-Jan-13 16:58:53

The only time anybody should borrow anybody else's car ( excusing genuine emergencies or car trader friends) is if you have in your bank account the sum required to instantly purchase them a brand new one of the same type should you so much as scratch it,

But it that case you won't really need to.

That said I borrow my friends and brothers and they do mine loads if we are just going to the shop and they are blocking mine in and I can't be bothered to get them to move it and same for if I'm blocking them, but in all fairness even a scratch and they would end up with brand new cars.

zipzap Sat 19-Jan-13 16:59:18

Tell them that you're happy to rent it to them to use but because it's new to you and you'll need to call in other favours to cover the inconvenience or hire something yourself etc etc you reckon it's going to be necessary to charge them £1000 -- or at least double what it would cost them to hire it--, plus you'd expect them to have fully comp insurance and it to be valeted before it was returned...

Suddenly your car won't sound like the cheap easy option they were expecting it to be and hiring will be a much more attracive option!

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sat 19-Jan-13 17:01:24

i've read the opening post, not the thread.
if you haven't done this already, tell your mum and sister to fuck off.

LaCiccolina Sat 19-Jan-13 17:14:25

Laugh back "ur old banger? Over my dead body first!"

Being honest up front will be tricky but (from horrible personal experience) the fall out if things go wrong while they have your car is FAR FAR WORSE!

It is your new car, they are being unfair to expect this to be available to you. This is a bit P/A tbh, they aren't asking straight out but are making you feel like perhaps you should be offering.. Not nice.

I too have a family that mostly seem to puke on long journeys, they don't look after cars and the twice that I got guilt tripped into lending my car it took a lot of money to get it back to the previous condition which I had to spend because they thought I was being fussy.... dents, scratches and a lingering smell of sick.. lovely

available to them! gah!

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jan-13 18:45:43

You don't need to justify yourself, OP. You're not an unkind person for not loaning out your brand-new car. Full stop. Joke back if you have to, giggle and, 'NO CHANCE!'

End of.

They're taking the piss. A holiday is optional, it's not like they're stranded in the back of beyond with no access to a car at all.

ENormaSnob Sat 19-Jan-13 18:58:18

I wouldn't lend my car out.


AdoraBell Sat 19-Jan-13 19:44:17

I wouldn't lend it simply because they have assumed it will be lent.

All my rellies are piss taking bastards, so I've had a lot of practice saying fuck off No

SugarPasteSnowflake Sat 19-Jan-13 19:58:35

Op iirc you are a CM who needed a new car for transporting mindees because the old one had seen better days?

If so then tell the overbearing relatives that you cannot lend the car as it is used for your business. Apols if I have you mixed up with another poster.

"No, I don't want to" is a perfectly valid response. You say there is a pattern of them assuming you will go along with them, time to break the pattern I think.

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 20:20:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 19-Jan-13 20:21:59

Ah, Sugar Paste, that's why this rings a bell.

Just say no, that's not going to happen. You don't need a reason.

If you do want one say, "no, that's not going to happen, I need the car for work."

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 19-Jan-13 20:22:51

OP, if you borrowed a different car, wouldn't you have to be insured on it for business use?

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 20:25:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellaVita Sat 19-Jan-13 20:25:15

Absolutely no way would I lend my new car out to anyone. I don't even like DH driving it never mind it being driven 500 plus extra miles.

Tell them to do one.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 19-Jan-13 20:28:09


letseatgrandma Sat 19-Jan-13 20:28:38

Just treat it as a joke, 'yeah, ha ha very funny-no one's touching my new wheels' /'on yer bike'/'no chance'/'ha-I don't think so' etc etc

I think they know they're taking the piss-do you think they would actually have the cheek to ask outright?

ENormaSnob Sat 19-Jan-13 20:35:44

What car is it?

<in the market for new 7 seater and need inspiration wink>

InNeatCognac Sat 19-Jan-13 20:45:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesnootyfox Sat 19-Jan-13 21:36:28

A car isn't something that you lend to other people. It wouldn't even occur to me to ask someone if I could borrow their car.

AbuseHamzaMousseCake Sat 19-Jan-13 23:30:59

Its a car, to be used.

My family swap cars if needed. But we take care of them. So would not return in a state unless we hadn't had time to clean before the owner needed it back and then would clean at first opportunity!

However, if you need it for work, then a simple: 'Sorry, it is not available.' No need for anything else.

Longdistance Sat 19-Jan-13 23:49:30

Tell your da to buy her own 7 seater!

Yanbu at all.

gotthemoononastick Sat 19-Jan-13 23:59:57

Cheeky devils!!Everything MissMarples said about the food sweets fatty fingermarks and vomit/febreze smell! NO!

Pinot Sun 20-Jan-13 09:27:57

I want an s-max. envy

I agree, don't lend it.

DP and I will very occasionally borrow each other's car for emergencies, but otherwise we don't let anyone else drive our cars.

I'll happily give people lifts, help in other ways, etc, but I won't lend my car cos I need it.

InNeatCognac Sun 20-Jan-13 09:47:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

holidaysarenice Sun 20-Jan-13 12:23:42

No way! We all drive each others but its a few miles here and there, for convenience, running each other about, picking up dirty stuff (always in mums!!), who has the flattest seats, biggest boot etc.

They are having a laugh.

Say no. Next time they joke just say, I love how your saying it as a joke cause you know its never going to happen!!

BanghamTheDirtyScone Sun 20-Jan-13 12:33:28

I'm not sure I understand why it is such a bad idea, aside from the thought that if it is new to you, you really need to try it out first - and if something went wrong with it hundreds of miles away, you'd probably not be able to hand it back to the seller as you wouldn't know what had happened or why etc.

for this reason alone I think they're being unrealistic - but I can see why itwould be a good thing for them, not to have to take two cars.

Follow your own instinct on this.

MissMarplesMaid Sun 20-Jan-13 13:24:30

I actually would not want to go on holiday in someone else's car. I know just how much battering a car takes when it is packed full of luggage then gets used for days out and as a venue for picnics when the weather doesnt allow for eating outside.

It would be convenient for the DM & DSis to borrow the car but then it would be convenient for anyone to have a car at their beck and call. Convenient doesnt make it right.

SpicyPear Sun 20-Jan-13 13:29:35

By the time they have paid for short term fully comp insurance on your shiny S-Max and fully comp business insurance on their car for you, I don't see that they'll save much if any money vs. hire costs though. The whole idea seems a bit daft and ill thought through, as well as cheeky.

FeistyLass Sun 20-Jan-13 13:58:58

I'm not precious about letting family borrow my car (even though I absolutely love it - more than I've ever loved any inanimate object in my life - sometimes even more than I love dh too!) but there's no way I'd let someone take my car on holiday so stand firm! They're just being meanies to even ask.

EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo Sun 20-Jan-13 14:10:37

Just say Hahaha I know it's cold out but Hell hasn't frozen over yet.

I do not cars to anyone. Causes too much shit if there are accidents. I would also never ask to borrow someone's car. Completely alien request!

Glittertwins Sun 20-Jan-13 14:18:41

No way are ybu! You need your car for your needs, it isn't a hire car and although an S-Max has 7 seats, your are quite right in that you can't get luggage for 7 in there. I think they have a nerve. If your sister is so risk averse, she would not have asked you in the first place. Even if she did have fully comp insurance for driving another car, does it include a like for like replacement in case a courtesy car is needed. Most insurance companies only give a 1 litre Micra or similar unless specified (and paid more for) on the policy. Doesn't sound like you would manage with a Micra.

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