To be horrified at giving a 3 yr old crisps, chocolate biscuits, cheesy bites...

(314 Posts)
starofastorath Fri 18-Jan-13 20:20:48 10 in the morning? After having sugary breakfast cereals?

Locketjuice Fri 18-Jan-13 20:22:18

Wouldn't be so extreme ... Not my first choice though

TidyDancer Fri 18-Jan-13 20:23:15

Context needed really.

Is this a one-off? An every day thing?

It doesn't sound great, but we need to know more to answer you properly.

Pancakeflipper Fri 18-Jan-13 20:25:01

Not good everyday but a one-off no harm.

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 18-Jan-13 20:26:00

Agree, context needed.

Backtobedlam Fri 18-Jan-13 20:26:31

Was it today? Because of the snow? And because all the shops had been totally ransacked? If that's the case it's better than starving.

HollyBerryBush Fri 18-Jan-13 20:27:18

What do you think will happen to them?

ToeCap Fri 18-Jan-13 20:29:49

Did said child expire? Oh thought not.

nokidshere Fri 18-Jan-13 20:30:18

I used to think I was a terrible mother for giving my boys chocolate for breakfast sometimes (when I was too knackered to care) but then realised that if they are going to have crap food sometime that day the time is totally immaterial grin

as long as thats not all they are having all day I cant see the problem!

foslady Fri 18-Jan-13 20:42:52

Sounds like the average toddler birthday play session to me.......

starofastorath Fri 18-Jan-13 20:50:15

I've seen my friend do this before - crisps & chocolate in the mornings. I thought it was a one off then but today bag was packed for a journey. I made light of said sugary cereal saying what a nice treat it was, but was then told 3yr old has it every morning. Was a bit blush for being judgy at first but now wondering if I really <am> being too judgy....

Summerblaze Fri 18-Jan-13 20:52:26

I didn't see that precaution on the pack. When is crisps and chocolate ok????

Meglet Fri 18-Jan-13 20:54:26

Every day = bad.

Once a week, or a day out / party / snow day = not so bad.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Fri 18-Jan-13 20:55:29

Well my dd has failure to thrive and is on the 0.4th centile. Her breakfast is a chocolate biscuit.

Context is everything

Tee2072 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:56:37

What's the difference between that and a glass of OJ and a flapjack?

Or a toaster pancake?

shrug I'm usually just happy my son eats something before school, knowing he'll have toast/fruit/milk at snack time.

ReallyTired Fri 18-Jan-13 20:59:55


I bribed my three year old daughter to take her anti biotic with chocolate biscuits.

I see nothing wrong with a three year old having the ocassional chocolate biscuit, crisps or cheesy bites provided its in moderation and doesn't stop the child having proper food.

What the OP describes is empty calories, but maybe the child is a really fussy eater. Its not fair to judge.

HollyBerryBush Fri 18-Jan-13 21:01:00

What happens if the child has it after 10am? As opposed to before or at 10am? is there a moral difference?

Peanutbutterfingers Fri 18-Jan-13 21:02:54

Not ideal - but if I'm travelling with my toddler I take fruit, sandwich and selection of treats, especially if we're going on public transport and quiet trumps healthy snack

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 18-Jan-13 21:03:43

I let my 3 yr old have those things, and sometimes before ten in the morning shock

yggdrasil Fri 18-Jan-13 21:04:03 can I put this? OP, and I mean this very, very nicely, I am going to hazard a random guess that you have one child and s/he is not more than 3 years old.

Nowadays, nothing the parent of a young kid does ever really shocks me. Unless it is actually, you know, shocking. Get through those hellish-at-times toddler years and then you get to be me, MNetting and eating chocolate biscuits while my kids put themselves to bed . I'm not going to judge anyone.

My nephews get up at 4.30. Every frigging morning. Their parents are lovely sorted individuals who have been dealt a crap hand (hell, dsil is an ex-nanny who never once gave me parenting advice). By 10 o clock, which is closer to their midday really, round at their place several people are often on the cheesy wotsits. Get on with it, don't kill them and survive is my top tip for the toddler years grin

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 18-Jan-13 21:06:24

HollyBerryBush Breakfast at McDonalds finishes at 10.30 so it would be elevenses. Still unbelievably shocking to feed them so much rubbish before lunch I'm sure grin !

Joiningthegang Fri 18-Jan-13 21:09:54

No context here at all, why is it your business?

Horrified - that word needs reserving for appropriate occasions (this is not one of them)


My son can be eating crisps or biscuits by 10am.

He has breakfast at half 6

lockets Fri 18-Jan-13 21:16:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starofastorath Fri 18-Jan-13 21:19:37

My business as I was asked to give them to the child. And when child refused crisps was told to give cheesy bites and when this was refused was told to give chocolate biscuit. Horrified as seems terrible diet to have introduced to a child so young when surely they should be eating fruit/rice cake etc as a mid morning snack instead and certainly not keep handing out alternative nasties as child keeps refusing to eat what's given to them.

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:20:46

So bloody what.

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:21:28

Have a bloody banana, Mrs smug pants.

starofastorath Fri 18-Jan-13 21:21:49

Just quite shocked really. Bad parenting IMO.

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:30

Oh well, we can't all be as good as you can we?

Tee2072 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:38

How old are your children, OP?

As I said, so long as he's eating and I know he eats well 99% of the time, the other 1% my son can have anything he wants. Even at 9am.

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:39

Well ds2 is 4.
Today he has had:
Porridge and fromage frais and apple juice for breakfast
Fruit as snack at pre shcool
Cheese sandwich for lunch plus 2 pieces of homemade cake.
Banana and apple.
2 more pieces of cake.
Refused hot dinner so had carrot batons and another cheese sandwich and some ice cream.
Also water throughout the day.
I am sure most people would think that 4 pieces of cake in a day is excessive, but he is healthy and happy and eats well.
I am not a big fan of sugary breakfast cereals but even fruit has naturally occurring sugar in it (fructose)
Posters above make a good point...if the child is up early then needing a snack at 10 is not unusual.
As long as the child is healthy and hasn't got rotten teeth then what's the problem?

FelicityWasSanta Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:51

So the child DIDN'T in fact eat all three!

Child in question had 1 chocolate biscuit mid morning.

Non story.

Yfronts Fri 18-Jan-13 21:23:33

I agree with you, it's an awful snack and seems daily.

My kids are at the same percentile weepingwillow but I just give them healthy stuff.

shesariver Fri 18-Jan-13 21:24:29

Bad parenting?!! oh get you parent of the year hmm

TomDudgeon Fri 18-Jan-13 21:24:42

Rice cakes!
They're fucking horrible

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:25:12

This is about a child having 1 chocolate biscuit as a snack?

Loquace Fri 18-Jan-13 21:25:23

Rice cake!

Now that is fecking unreasonable.

S'like eating deflavoured, dehydrated cardboard.

And has little nutritional value from what I can see.

Not to mention not filling at all.


Hate rice cakes.

louisianablue2000 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:25:25

It's probably better to give crap food in the morning when there is still time to use up the calories that day. No I wouldn't do it, yes i would hoik my judgy pants, no it's not my business, no I wouldn't bother posting on MN about it.

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:26:07

My ds1 loves rice cakes!
Ds2 however, is deeply suspicious of them smile

TepidCoffee Fri 18-Jan-13 21:26:12

Fruit and rice cakes grin

Most 3 year olds have cottoned onto that big ol' con, haven't they?

SamuelWestsMistress Fri 18-Jan-13 21:27:46



TepidCoffee Fri 18-Jan-13 21:28:12

Opened some apple flavoured rice cakes for DS in the car the other week. All of a sudden the air was filled with this awful burning smell. We thought the car was about to conk out before we realised it was the snack.

In terms of impact on blood sugar, rice cakes are just as bad as a biscuit btw.

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:28:15


Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:28:21

Tepid...I did try ds2 with rice cakes...
He just looked at me over his colouring book and said in his most withering tone;
"I don't think so mummy"

Tee2072 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:28:30

Mine cottoned onto that con when he was about 18 months, Tepid!

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:28:44


IWantATowel Fri 18-Jan-13 21:29:19

Get off your high horse before you fall off

Hulababy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:29:33

Do you give raisins and other dried fruit?

herladyship Fri 18-Jan-13 21:31:10

OP, have a biscuit and wipe the horrified look of your face grin

Horrified as seems terrible diet to have introduced to a child so young when surely they should be eating fruit/rice cake etc as a mid morning snack instead

hmm Have you tried a rice cake?!

Fuck it. I also give the toddler sausage rolls and tinned ravioli. I accept that I am off to hell grin

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 21:31:45

Thank god you didn't see me feeding DS 14m cadburys animal biscuits in his buggy to keep him happy while we sledged in the park!

OP, it's not what I would ordinarily choose first no, but DS does manage to have a little 'treat' every day be it a few cheddar biscuits, some quavers, choc buttons etc. Sugar is good for growing children you know, just in moderation.

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:32:17

Blimey I must be being judged 6 ways from Sunday wrt ds2!!
We went to a local cafe for lunch last week and ds1 had jacket potato and beans and ds2?
White bread toast with butter....3 lots!
Ds2 soberly informed the waitress that "we aren't allowed white bread at home"
My son thinks white bread is a treat!!

PickledInAPearTree Fri 18-Jan-13 21:32:35

I think you should

Mind Your Own Business

To be honest.

LuluMai Fri 18-Jan-13 21:33:00

Horrified? Really that strong a reaction? You must live a very sheltered life op.

trixymalixy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:33:26

Is the child underweight? Could it be she is trying to get calories in him whatever it takes. That's what it sounds like to me from you saying that the child was offered 3 things before they would eat.

DS is to have pudding after every meal to try to get more calories into him due to a restricted diet. I'm sure some people would be hmm about that.

Come join me in bad parenting hell everyone!

LuluMai Fri 18-Jan-13 21:36:02

At work today op I heard about a case of a woman who was a prostitute and would have sex with her punters in front of her young son. That is horrifying and bad parenting. Giving a child chocolate is not.

PickledInAPearTree Fri 18-Jan-13 21:36:07

Do you get chocolate biscuits there? If so I'm in.

Just don't send me to the place you get rice cakes.

ClaimedByMe Fri 18-Jan-13 21:36:46

My dc are 7 & 9 they have always eaten sugary chocolate cereal, they are healthy, still alive and have all their teeth, they eat a healthy balanced diet, I want an easy start to my day and crap cereal makes happy dc which makes a happy me!

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:37:49

It's discusting!!!!

PickledInAPearTree Fri 18-Jan-13 21:38:48

Coco pops = devils droppings

<runs around in circles crying>

Goldenbear Fri 18-Jan-13 21:39:23

I wouldn't be horrified but my standards have slipped considerably and with DD- DC2 who is 21 months, I'm finding I'm much slacker about snacks being healthy. For instance, she had some M&S Disco biscuits at 11 this morning. In my defence she was really cold and upset. I want her and my DS (5) to have less biscuits (don't have much chocolate) i feel incredibly shit at my ineptness in this area.

Of course 3 is very different to 21 months and they tend to know the difference between a rice cake with chocolate and chocolate for instance but still perhaps a hit excessive.

fairylightsandtinsel Fri 18-Jan-13 21:39:27

can I have a seat on the "bad parenting" step then? DS is 3.5. Up before 6am usually and can have 2-3 weetabix for brek, but will want a snack by mid-morning. I can offer him apples and oranges, but he won't eat them. Raisins, cheese and biscuits maybe. When we pick them him from CM he sometimes also has a biscuit in the car. Call SS now!!

SorryMyLollipop Fri 18-Jan-13 21:39:28

As the OP has not mentioned her own DC, I suspect she may not have any.

SminkoPinko Fri 18-Jan-13 21:40:04

yabu. cheesy bites and chocolate biscuits are delicious.

Kiriwawa Fri 18-Jan-13 21:42:10

DS is 6YO and under 3 stone. If I coul get him to eat sugary cereal, crisps and chocolate biscuits of a morning, I'd be thrilled

Tee2072 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:42:21

Yes another good point! 6am I am not worrying about nutrition. I'm worrying about a cup of coffee and 10 minutes of peace to drink it.

perceptionreality Fri 18-Jan-13 21:43:31


Of all the things you could be horrified about, you decide to post a thread about this?

apostropheuse Fri 18-Jan-13 21:46:26

You should write for the tabloid press.

Sensationalist headline followed by non-story.

The child was offered those things, but took only ONE of them.

The chocolate biscuit that was consumed wasn't an illegal drug! hmm

Goldenbear Fri 18-Jan-13 21:50:24

Yes, the other thing is that it could be a feeding up thing. DS is not just a rack of ribs but you can see too many bones he is 2.9 stone and 6 in June. He was on 75 percentile when born and was like that until school. I panicked and am constantly giving him proper desserts. Things like banana and custard, cake and custard, Ice cream, pancakes etc. Maybe she is trying to add more calories the quick way?

TeamEdward Fri 18-Jan-13 21:51:01

I'm going to hell in a handcart by all accounts - DS2 will currently only eat pork pies.
<slaps own wrist>

OpheliasWeepingWillow Fri 18-Jan-13 21:52:25

My dd's nutritionist told me to give her whatever she would eat. Anything. Biscuits, wotsits, cake, goose fat, roast swan.

Judge away. Biscuits ahoy here.


And as for the person who said to me their similar centile dd to mine has healthy food - good for you. Whatever.

BinksToEnlightenment Fri 18-Jan-13 21:52:39

Was the chocolate biscuit thrown down to him after he was pushed into the cellar?

Because that really would be totally unreasonable.

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 21:52:45

Pork pies <drools>

Apost She could pose for picture for the article looking sad holding a biscuit

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:58:51

Ds1 was under a paed for a few years due to childhood asthma (which he has now grown out of)
He was a father of 4 himself and was really helpful and down to earth wrt diet and food.
He advised using packet baby foods as - according to him - legally they must contain a certain amount of vitamins and minerals.
He also told me not to worry what ds1 ate, but just to make sure he ate regularly and highly calorific foods if possible.
I wish he could see him now tucking into 9 pancakes of a morning! smile

apostropheuse Fri 18-Jan-13 21:59:02

SPFanjo That sounds like a plan. grin

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 21:59:59

Fanjo..have you just watched room 101!??

ihearsounds Fri 18-Jan-13 22:01:40

Where I work, we regularly, and I mean regularly give youngsters choc biscuits, cakes and other high cal foods. If in the morning, we offer biscuits and refused we offer other junk. Same with afternoon... Judge away, instead of finding out why we give high foods.

shesariver Fri 18-Jan-13 22:01:45

I also give the toddler sausage rolls and tinned ravioli. I accept that I am off to hell


I gave my 10 year old a curry pot noodle;e in a flask for school today for his lunch. Disclaimer: he also had water melon, grapes, cucumber, yogurt and wholemeal bread and butter.

ginmakesitallok Fri 18-Jan-13 22:01:54

YABU - that's all.

Another one here with a tiny 6 year old. He is 2 stone 8 and lighter than his 3 year old brother. Both of them and DD get whatever the fuck they want in the morning, I CBFA arguing.

Bad No I'm watching a John Bishop thing. Why do you ask?

Shes I don't have a disclaimer grin

shesariver Fri 18-Jan-13 22:05:37

curry pot noodle even, god knows what a noodle;e is smile

usualsuspect Fri 18-Jan-13 22:05:46

I had a sex dream about John Bishop once [random]

I had sex dream about Sheldon Cooper

<just sharing>

Yanbu. But these threads don't go we'll, as you can see...

shesariver Fri 18-Jan-13 22:07:50

fanjo grin

Well my brownie points will go down Im afraid when I admit he liked it so much I went to Asda and bought more in various flavours because they are only 50p just now grin

50p?! Why don't I know about this?! Are the Donner Kebab ones 50p? I will full a cupboard with those and dine like a king on them. I would be having pot noddle for breakfast, snack, dinner,snack,tea and supper grin

charitymum Fri 18-Jan-13 22:13:07

Beaten children/kids using food banks in Britain/kids with no home=horror

Biscuits and cheesy crisps=survival parenting

trixymalixy Fri 18-Jan-13 22:13:08

My 6 year old is also about 2 1/2 stone and lighter than his 3 year old cousin. As I said earlier he gets pudding after every meal and whatever he will eat.

Softlysoftly Fri 18-Jan-13 22:14:38

Badvoc that's a sneaky stealth boast isn't it? Go on you know it is. Homemade cake being the only naughty? ? Puts me to shame wink

NaturalBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 22:15:08

You were asked to give these snacks to the child? Are you a childminder then?

Yanbu in my humble opinion. Good luck!

yggdrasil Fri 18-Jan-13 22:15:51

now people hold your horses

it appears that it is not on one but possibly at least two separate days that a chocolate biscuit has been offered as a snack.

When I posted originally I hadn't appreciated that

you know, ricecakes do actually have zero nutritional value. They are basically (pricey) squashed together rice-krispies, for the hippie-mama-generation.

BarredfromhavingStella Fri 18-Jan-13 22:17:58

Suppose it all depends on what time said child gets up & has brekkie doesn't it? Wouldn't give mine shit that early on but they don't get up til 8ish (yes stealth boast, meh) but if they got up at say 6 then 10am is a fine time for some choc & can say would probs feed myself some also grin

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 22:18:38

Ha! No, honestly it isn't! smile
It's still full of jam and buttercream! Yum yum.
(He had ice cream too...) <bad mother alert>
So much angst re food...sad
What happened to the phrase "moderation in all things" ?...

KhallDrogo Fri 18-Jan-13 22:19:20

honest to fucking god...^rice cakes^!!!! that is child abuse!!

yggdrasil Fri 18-Jan-13 22:19:59

This thread has also reminded me of the excellent Steiner parent and toddler group that I used to take my kids for, entirely because in the break, after we'd all cavorted around pretending to be gnomes or what have you with our auras and god knows what, they were exceedingly free with the chocolate biscuits. The children (all under 3) got "one in each hand" for "energy". Very nice.

shesariver Fri 18-Jan-13 22:20:12

fanjo didn't see the donner kebab flavour, I bought the equally healthy southern fried chicken and sticky rib flavour, haste ye down to Asda! Mind you Ive told him not to get used to them, when the price goes back up he will be treated to the price version!!

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 22:21:21

Ds1 loves mild curry flavour super noodles....the shame! smile

Badvoc Fri 18-Jan-13 22:22:24

Fanjo...they were talking about local newspapers and various pics of the people pointing to various things..potholes, piers etc smile

lougle Fri 18-Jan-13 22:23:49

There you go then, it only took an hour for the OP to call a spade a spade.

RandallPinkFloyd Fri 18-Jan-13 22:27:45

My DS bloody loves rice cakes, I don't think they're particularly good or bad tbh. They're just rice cakes. Not too sweet or salty so they'll do for me.

He's not had chocolate or crisps yet as he's still too young to have noticed them or asked for them, thank god, but I did get a roasting on here for letting him have breadsticks.

I shit you not. A bread sick should be a once or twice a week treat apparently.

dikkertjedap Fri 18-Jan-13 22:27:45

It is important that many adults/teenagers eat less carbohydrates and more fruit. This is not necessarily the case for young children, many paediatricians will tell you that a child needs some carbohydrates as a morning snack and that fruit is insufficient (apart from being bad for teeth).

However, at many schools it is perfectly acceptable for overweight staff to stuff themselves with biscuits but regarded as a crime if a child has a biscuit.

It all comes down to people making judgments in relation to areas where they have no or little knowledge/understanding, eg children's nutritional requirements are very different from those of adults.

Sirzy Fri 18-Jan-13 22:30:04

The child didn't eat all of that though did they. Some "bad" food won't do any harm and certainly isn't an indicator of bad parenting.

Only if their diet only consisted of such foods would it raise alarm bells that the family may need more support when it comes to food.

beatofthedrum Fri 18-Jan-13 22:35:50

Have giggled quite a few times reading this thread. No way the OP has a dc aged 3 or over, I fully agree with whoever said that. Standards slip as the years (weeks!) progress! What is greater than a mid-morning chocolate biscuit snack with happy children? smile

monkeymamma Fri 18-Jan-13 22:45:48

Roast swan, ROFL.
Sausage rolls and tinned ravioli - yum, now want for my next meal.
Rice cakes - taste like cardboard, smell like farts.

What! This is all over one chocolate biscuit?

I gave ds3 22 months two the other morning

<joins the pot noodle and sausage roll giving posters on the naughty bench>

INeedThatForkOff Fri 18-Jan-13 23:03:33


15 mins after DD (2.10) has eaten 3 spoonfuls (max) of porridge, she's in the prowl for something else.

'I want sumfin to eat!'
'Do you? What like?'
'Sumfin crunchy.'
'Crunchy - an apple?'
'No, they're yuck. Sumfin crunchy and brown.'
'Oh, crunchy and brown like toast.'
'No that's digustin. Sumfin crunchy and brown that's in a tin'.
<Gives in, doles out a minging basics bourbon cream --full of cheap trans-fats-->

Same most days. My DD won't eat fruit or veg. I won't make an issue of it. If she didn't eat snacks she'd live on little but bites of her meals and milk.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 18-Jan-13 23:06:16

YABU. My DC have what they like really, I try not to make crisps etc a regular 10 am thing but if thats what they want tis fine with me. They also have regular meals and are slim so ...........<shrug>

gail734 Fri 18-Jan-13 23:11:48

INeedThatForkOff lol at "Sumfin crunchy and brown."

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 18-Jan-13 23:12:36

usual John Bishop? I am discusted

MrsOakenshield Fri 18-Jan-13 23:15:32

beatofthedrum I have a 3 year old and wouldn't offer her any of those. I don't really care about this, but I don't see why being the parent of a 3 year old should make me give her chocolate biscuits and crisps as a snack? Or have I missed something in a parenting manual?

LibraryMum8 Fri 18-Jan-13 23:16:37

Now that ds is 11 I am much more relaxed. Sometimes he will have one of those cereal bars for breakfast if I'm late or frazzled. The best, no, but it doesn't happen all the time. I have bigger fish to fry! And if this isn't your child, I might want to stay out of it. You might not know circumstances.

forevergreek Fri 18-Jan-13 23:28:48

Hmm, feel free to feed them whatever you fancy. Personally no, I don't feed 3 year old choc/ biscuits/ crisps on a regular basis. We don't eat them regularly as adults so it wouldn't occur to me to feed to someone small.

GruffalosGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 00:29:58

When my pfb was little he was the organic home made healthy snack child. Another child and four years of sleep deprivation later he now starts every day with the bribe of mummy's special chocolate if he's managed to stay in his own bed til six.

As long as that's not all they eat then whatever gets you through the day I say. If I had a fiver for every parenting "I'll never...." I've broken I'd be a rich woman grin

PurpleStorm Sat 19-Jan-13 00:43:58

I don't think that having crisps, chocolate biscuits, cheesy bites and sugary cereal every day would be healthy, but... horrified? Really? I think you're over-reacting a little.

(And DS & I both like those flavoured rice cakes they sell for babies, BTW. Not as good as chocolate biscuits, but surprisingly tasty)

Posterofapombear Sat 19-Jan-13 00:49:35

DD at all of 18 months calls chocolate 'more more'
She makes a good point

<ignoring pearl clutching OP>

MrsApplepants Sat 19-Jan-13 00:51:14

There are lots of horrifying things in the world today. Chocolate for 3 year olds is not one of them.

Badvoc Sat 19-Jan-13 08:29:20

Rice cakes are quite nice with shit loads of Nutella on.....

theodorakisses Sat 19-Jan-13 08:58:08

Gruffalo, what a lovely post, it just sums it all up.
I am not horrified by this, some of the neglect and abuse I have seen, yes, but food? (mind you I am eating left over stuffed crust Pizza Hut for my elevenses while trying to get back to my dissertation so I guess I am a horrifying human. I have a 4x4 as well just in case you are interested. I remember my elder sister being intolerable with her first and dictating the rules of organic non violent no tv no sugar parenting to all around her and saying that shouting should be classed as a criminal assault. (an elective CS people should be named and shamed) Last time I saw her she was yelling at DS4 (aged 3) for spilling his cocoa pops on the carpet because he was so engrossed in his favourite Outnumbered episode he had dropped them.

carabos Sat 19-Jan-13 09:01:02

I would describe myself as horrified by the story about poor little Ryan who drank methadone from his sippy cup and died. Toddler has crisps for breakfast - not so much.

Hulababy Sat 19-Jan-13 09:13:07

starofastorath - Do you have a child of your own? If so how old? Oh - and what do you think of raisins and other dried fruit?

Locketjuice Mon 21-Jan-13 13:16:10

And also... Ds is 1 he will barely touch anything everything meal time he will maybe have 3 bits of sweetcorn before decided he's had enough and wants nothing else... So if I can get him to eat ANYTHING in happy even if it is wotsits!

Convert Mon 21-Jan-13 13:29:52

Wonder why the OP hasn't returned to tell us that she has four DC and they all only eat organic veg from her garden as snacks.

I have three DC 6, 4 & 1. DS1 had chicken pox so has only gone back to school today. Youngest 2 came out with it on Saturday so I am under house arrest STILL.
I have actually had crisps for breakfast myself today. <eats biscuit>

JoandMax Mon 21-Jan-13 13:44:14

Meh, as long as its not everyday it's hardly the crime of the century.

When you've had a failure to thrive, tube fed baby you get a lot more relaxed about food!!!

loismustdieatyahoodotcom Mon 21-Jan-13 15:41:40

Ophelia. I also have a 0.4 percentile child and I was given the exact advice you were by all Drs, HV and Dieticians. D's has a health problem and I do what I can to ensure he's happy and healthy, and if that means choclate , biscuits and other high fat foods then so be it.
All I can say is woe betide any who judges or questions without asking why.

hippo123 Mon 21-Jan-13 15:47:00

Well I told my almost 3 year old that if she walked home from the school run this morning she could have a packet of choclate buttons , so that's what she was eating at 9.10. Should I be calling ss on myself? She did however have a banana, blueberries and strawberries for lunch and both my kids love rice cakes yuck if that makes it any better?

Aethelred Mon 21-Jan-13 16:03:52

I cannot see the point in giving children unhealthy things unless they are a treat. My daughter has never tried sugary cereal and, consequently, she happily eats the plain ones. She has fruit, veg or something else healthy as a snack; they are easy enough to carry around and she is not too full to eat her balanced meals. However, it is people's choice how they bring their child up. If, as a result, they end up with fussy eaters, over- or underweight children or their children grow up to be unhealthy then they can shouldn't complain or blame their child (as I have seen done).
It does annoy me when people give my child unhealthy things without asking or question me not giving unhealthy food in front of my child ('oh, let her' or 'she's a really good eater so it won't hurt her').

Badvoc Mon 21-Jan-13 16:07:18

As long as the child is fit either obese, got scurvy or rickets or rotten teeth, then it's it really an issue is it?
Children's likes and dislikes change so much.
A word of comfort to those with small dc...
Ds1 was 4 lbs 15oz at birth (undx IUGR) and had lots if issues wrt feeding, both milk and solids and I was worried sick as I know you will understand.
He is now 9 and ate 9 pancakes for breakfast this morning smile
There was a great panorama programme about infant feeding on a few years ago - was abi a paed at Birmingham children's - and it was so comforting.
She basically said, give them what they will eat and lots if it! It's all about the calories with small or FTT dc.

countrykitten Mon 21-Jan-13 16:55:06

It amazes me that adults eat this kind of crap let alone feed it to their kids. Each to their own I guess.

PickledInAPearTree Mon 21-Jan-13 16:56:59

What one chocolate biscuit? Are you serious? Seriously?

headinhands Mon 21-Jan-13 17:00:33

Horrified? As in experiencing the emotional state of horror? Over snacks? Horror over snacks?

marjproops Mon 21-Jan-13 17:16:07

Between careers I did p/t at a fast food place for a couple of months. about 15 years ago.

EVERY night this family would come in, the 3 kids looked between 2-7 years old, and theyd have the same...the full works, double burgers, large fries, fizzy drinks the lot. I tried so hard not to be judgemental, after all, I was serving said food to people, but i felt so sad.

didnt know their story, maybe its all they could afford, maybe they ate fruit and veg rest of day (they were all on the large side) whatever... but....

plus on way to infant school with DC years later, on the bus, id see this girl nearly every morning feed their toddler with wotsits and snickers (apart from the danger of toddler choking on nuts) and a fruit shoot. I wasnt the only one with the judgy pants on the bus!

Mine gets treated to a Mcd's or KFC or something once a fornight on holidays, Fridayevenings and Saturday lunchtime we have what we call 'treat meals' where, yes, well have fish fingers/pizza/nuggets etc, healthy foods rest of week, DC loves her food, whatever she eats, shes never been a fussy eater.

kids do like the occasional 'fun' food, just in moderation.

I suppose cos of that I myself tend to get a bit judgy. do try and think there might be other reasons or things are a one-off.

so do understand, OP.

beachyhead Mon 21-Jan-13 17:48:09

Probably a third child... You give all sorts of stuff to a third child... Past caring by then grin

thebody Mon 21-Jan-13 17:51:08

Horrified!!! Mmm op you need to get out more or have older kids.

Chill and mind your business really.

BlahBlahBlahhh Mon 21-Jan-13 19:10:44

Friend was in Drs waiting room other day. Told me about a lady sitting with a little one, about 1 year old. Was sat shaking a bottle of Fanta. Picked up little one and gave it the drink...."if you shake it, it looses its fizz" my friend heard the woman say to her friend....she clearly thought if she did this, she wasn't giving fizzy drinks sad.

countrykitten Mon 21-Jan-13 19:17:00

I never tell my two that crap food is a 'treat' because it's not really is it - it's shit 'food' which is of little nutritional value and which is sometimes harmful. They are still alive and well without having to have chocolate biscuits. I too get cross when others give them stuff that is rubbish - it's out of order.

Badvoc Tue 22-Jan-13 08:18:29

Simply cannot believe so many on here are so against the odd chocolate biscuit.
Maybe you have issues wrt food yourself?
Very odd.
Please bear in mind that you won't always be able to control what your dc eat...when they are at older and buy their own lunches at high school etc...ime the kids raised on hummus and pitta only tend to go a bit mad when faced with lots of "banned" food whereas kids who have had a more balanced diet including some treats tend not to.
But, hey, each to their own.
I am a child of the 1970s and I won't horrify you with some of the stuff my parents fed us smile

Badvoc Tue 22-Jan-13 08:19:19

...and also please bearin mind that "crap" food I cheaper than organic corn fed meat and organic veg.
Some people really dont have much choice.

dikkertjedap Tue 22-Jan-13 09:33:01

I don't think cookies, chocolate, certain types of crisps, are 'bad food'. It all comes down to how often and how much you eat it. I also don't think that it is helpful to teach kids that there are 'bad' and 'good' foods. It is better if they learn that they need certain nutrients and in which types of food you can find these.

However, it does concern me how much salt and types of additives are in especially the cheaper cookies, crisps, ready made food.

Also agree with other posters who have pointed out that fresh food is much more expensive. The same often applies to making things from scratch. Making cookies yourself is more expensive then buying the cheaper supermarket range (home made does taste better though, and at least you know what you have put in).

Badvoc Tue 22-Jan-13 09:47:37

Dikkert....I agree.
I like baking but tbh it's cheaper to buy a Victoria sponge than make one what with food prices rocketing.
I do try and buy good quality meat and veg but have had to stop buying organic...just too expensive.

Cat98 Tue 22-Jan-13 10:03:21

It's irrelevant op - you need to look at the diet over the course of a few weeks, not a snapshot of a morning...
Plus, while I can be a little strict with my pfb over food, it's hardly the crime of the century to give a few too many sugary snacks. Plenty of far worse things to get judgey over!

PickledInAPearTree Tue 22-Jan-13 11:33:09


ime the kids raised on hummus and pitta only tend to go a bit mad when faced with lots of "banned" food whereas kids who have had a more balanced diet including some treats tend not to.

I agree with you on this! My cousin was very strict with her PFB and at several parties he was found gorging, one time picking out cake out of a bin.

I dont know anyone (and I know some really strict parents with food) that find a biscuit horrifying. Its just.. ODD!

Badvoc Tue 22-Jan-13 12:02:04

I knew a woman from baby massage class who only let her ds have 3 chocolate buttons out of a pack (I guess there were about 8 in the pack)...
Found out later that he had suffered from anorexia in her teens.
It showed in her attitude to food tbh sad
She used to look on in horror as my ds2 shovelled a bakewell tart down smile
My ds2'has always been 75th centile from birth.
His teeth are perfect.
He is certainly not the largest child at pre shcool, although he is the tallest.
He is on the move all the time, swims, runs, likes to be on the go.
So he gets to eat a balanced diet and I don't stress about it.

prozacbear Tue 22-Jan-13 12:15:41

Threads like this make me paranoid about feeding DS biscuits in public blush

I used to be militant about healthy food - poor DS was pooing lentils daily. Now much more relaxed; he's going through the picky phase and I am loathe to freak him out by forcing him to bed hungry when he won't eat the bloody salad.

As long as children are active, stimulated and not grossly obese, let them eat cake. I wish my mother had had the same attitude.

JudithOfThePeace Tue 22-Jan-13 12:27:33

That is what you consider bad parenting?!! Blimey, I hope you continue to be so sheltered from the world!! Quite what nutritional value you think there is in a rice cake, I don't know.

Unclench and open a pack of Wotsits.

countrykitten Tue 22-Jan-13 22:38:31

Ah so those of us who do not feed our kids crap are all destined to have anorexic food obsessed children! Really?! I don't have what people on here consider 'treat' foods in the house - we have never eaten cakes, biscuits, crisps etc - and just because I now have kids does not mean that I shall start to buy it. I shall also never take my children to McDonalds or Pizza Hut or any other junk food outlet. My kids, my choice. Amazed as ever at the crap that others merrily feed their kids but each to their own.

SizzleSazz Tue 22-Jan-13 22:44:58

My DD would destroy anything in her path for sweet chilli snack a jack rice cakes <proud> wink

littlewhitebag Tue 22-Jan-13 22:53:16

My DD2 (age 15) starts the day, every day with a bowl of cheerios and some pancakes. She is tall, skinny, sporty with great teeth. What can i say? Better to eat crap than not eat at all!

stopgap Wed 23-Jan-13 03:27:34

Just one 17-month-old DS here and he's oblivious to junk food. I don't eat it myself, but I do love a good slab of grass-fed steak, roasted yams and garlicky kale. So does the kid. I won't object in the slightest to him having cake at birthday parties, but we won't be feeding him biscuits etc. on a daily basis as that's not how I eat, nor how I was raised (dead working-class, but Italian background and everything was cooked from scratch).

deleted203 Wed 23-Jan-13 03:45:45

I'm horrified by scenes of starving children, personally. Not one that is stuffing crisps in its gob.

t0lk13n Wed 23-Jan-13 04:47:35

I see OP disappeared once posters didn`t agree with her! biscuit

Longdistance Wed 23-Jan-13 05:13:45

Is that a sugary biscuit??? Tsk, tsk

I have a bit of a "thing" about catorgorising food for children as good or bad tbh.
Ok a diet of just biscuits and crisps isn't good but IMO once you make an issue of a biscuit being "bad" then you just end up causing issues with food.
Everything in moderation, no? Mine eat all sorts of crap (teenagers) but they eat a half decent breakfast and dinner.
They have friends who's parents made a huge issue about biscuits and chocolate being bad and a very rare treat.
They are the ones at the bus stop eating a whole Victoria sponge from tescos at 7am grin

Jengnr Wed 23-Jan-13 07:13:19

Who the fuck eats rice cakes? Let alone inflicts them on a child?

COCKadoodledooo Wed 23-Jan-13 07:34:50

I like ricecakes blush
Dh says they look like polystyrene ceiling tiles and are probably less nutritious grin

Badvoc Wed 23-Jan-13 07:51:00

We dont have take aways and i dont take my kids to macdonalds either country kitten, but neither do I have a hissy fit at the idea of a child having a piece of cake.
Each to their own.
It's not a good idea to be too prescriptive about anything when it comes to parenting - diet included.
What if - god forbid - your next dc was an FTT baby like my ds1 was?
Trust me, you would shovel custard, chocolate, biscuits, anything into the child to make them put on weight.
Seems to me it's just another club for mothers to beat each other with and I for one will not join in.

Badvoc Wed 23-Jan-13 07:51:35

I like rice cakes too cockadoodle' much to Dhs disgust smile

Badvoc Wed 23-Jan-13 07:53:15

Stopgap, as said earlier upthread, not everyone can afford grass fed steak or corn fed chicken.
It's not that they don't want to eat it, they can't afford it!
This govt needs to slap tax on sugary additive full foods, and stop classing things like fruit juice as a luxury item and make organic food more affordable.

ThedementedPenguin Wed 23-Jan-13 08:29:48

I see the op never came back to answer any questions.

When I was 11 and went to secondary school in my first year science we all had to be weighed and all that crap for an experiment. I was just over 3 stone. The teacher nearly fainted,

My mum was told by all HCP to let me eat what I wanted. I could of had 5 bags if crisps, a million biscuits and I was never made to feel bad. Imagine people's judgy pants then. Probably up round their neck they've been hoiked so high.

It was only when I went to tech aged 16 I was between 7/8 stone.

To the OP, yanbu. There is no reason to give 3 y-os (or older children for that matter) biscuits and crisps except as a very occasional treat. That is the method in our family I'm sure that is why my kids enjoy fruit and vegetables and eat them lots, without ever treating them as a dull necessity. Unlike many children around us, they do not divide food into a) unhealthy and tasty and b) healthy and dull. Giving children bags of crisps as a matter of routine is stupid.

While I believe families that can't afford fresh fruit and veg do exist, I suspect that their numbers - rather like benefit fraudsters and the third-generation unemployed - are exaggerated. I expect the majority could manage if they reprioritised their budgets, but I suspect they simply prefer to give their children junk instead.

Badvoc Wed 23-Jan-13 18:28:20 ds2 eats chocolate, cakes and biscuits and shed loads of fruit.
The 2 are not mutually exclusive!
My ds1 has never had chocolate or cake because he doesn't like it.
Dont see what all the drama is about tbh...think the op must have a lot of time on her hands smile

elfycat Wed 23-Jan-13 18:38:58

Love the rice cake debate going on. My DDs (2&4) love the apple ones by Organix, which I serve with sliced banana/naice dried fruit/milky way stars. That last one is an occasional treat but yes chocolate can feature as part of a snack.

I do try to limit unhealthy snacks as it they do seem to, quite quickly, come to expect them. Their favorite demand as soon as we enter a supermarket is for apples or pears so I'm winning the battle so far.

Pancakeflipper Wed 23-Jan-13 18:49:59

We have just had this discussion. My DP's dad had a sweet shop. DP never eats sweets/chocolate and only has if I have made one and it needs eating up.

My parents were very strict on sweets and cakes and I rarely had them.

I would much rather eat cake than another fucking carrot stick or bloody floret of raw cauliflower. I have to really limit myself on sweet stuff.

I think moderation is the key. Or get yourself a sweet shop.

trixymalixy Wed 23-Jan-13 19:00:09

Toad, my3 year old DD gobbles up fruit and veg. The veg is the first thing she will eat in her plate, ignoring roast potatoes and meat. She will ask for bananas and blueberries in the supermarket. Yet she has sweet stuff too, as I have mentioned earlier my DS is to have pudding after every meal as he has a restricted diet and is underweight, so she gets it too. She could take it or leave it tbh, she would rather have a banana. She doesn't see fruit and veg as healthy and dull.

trixymalixy Wed 23-Jan-13 19:04:43

My gran was always filling our pockets with sweets to the annoyance of my mother when we were children. We ended up refusing them most of the time Neither my sister or I have a sweet tooth at all, we would both rather eat savoury stuff. I never eat dessert in a restaurant. Anecdotal I know, but im of the opinion that restricting types of food makes it more attractive.

dikkertjedap Wed 23-Jan-13 19:22:54

I agree withg trixymalixy - I was never allowed sweets as a child, I have a terrible sweet tooth.

My dc have unlimited access to sweets/crisps but are only interested in the packaging - they hardly eat any but when their friends visit, many of the little friends absolutely stuff themselves if given the opportunity.

What is forbidden often does make it more attractive ...

PurpleStorm Wed 23-Jan-13 19:59:02

Forbidding a 'bad' food may make it seem more attractive, but allowing kids free access to as much junk as they can eat doesn't necessarily mean that they'll get sick of junk food and not eat it.

My parents always had loads of chocolates, biscuits and crisps in the house when I was growing up, and we were usually allowed to help ourselves whenever we wanted. I have real problems limiting my consumption of these foods because I find them so tempting - if they're in the house, I find it very very difficult to leave them more than a day or so before I start stuffing my face with them.

I'm aiming for moderation with DS. Not forbidding junk food, but not having it on tap for whenever he fancies it.

I expect that for every person put off sweets by being deluged with them as a child there are fifty who have various health ailments for the same reason.

There is no need to forbid certain foods. Just don't get them on the radar. Except as special treats. There is no need to keep sweets, crisps, chocolate, fizzy drinks, cakes in the house.

AlienReflux Thu 24-Jan-13 06:45:20

I have crisps and biscuits in the house, but would never give DS free reign, he would eat the lot!! Often though he won't ask for any,I find if I get in first with a sandwich and yoghurt when he comes in from school, he doesn't think about it.

treats in moderation are fine, and one chocolate biscuit? NOT horrifying!!

Well I'm obviously going to hell too, DS1 is sooooo fussy (he's 2.11). I took him to be weighed & measured recently as I was so concerned. He's on 50th centilitre for weight but only 2nd for height, I was a bit shock but HV said he's perfectly healthy, not overweight & basically said 'keep doing what you're doing' so I try not to worry it. If you're lucky enough to have kids who love fruit & veg then great, but not all of us do. It basically comes back to smug parenting akin to those parents whose babies slept through from 1 minute old, it's as much to do with the child as it is the parenting (in my opinion anyway).

I do fret everyday about what DS1 is or isn't eating though, but I have a 4 month old and PND so really don't have the energy for a pitched battle every mealtime.


I find the harder I try the luckier I get.

..and with it the right to be smug - unlike those who have a good sneer at those who try and fail.

I don't think anyone has the right to be smug or sneery, they're not nice characteristics but you go ahead if you want.

Do you think I haven't tried? I offer my son everything but he just refuses. So I'm caught between him eating something unhealthy or not eating at all, neither is ideal. I can't force him to eat.


I'm in no position to offer you advice because I don't know what you have or haven't tried.

However, I think I can remark that it is wrong to say that healthy eating is all down to luck. It isn't. And as for smugness - well, I'm sure you agree that complacency isn't the path to success.

Kiriwawa Thu 24-Jan-13 09:14:28

Why would people prefer to give their kids junk food toadinthehole?

I also don't think it's realistic to think you can keep junk food off your kids' radar once they start school.

FWIW we have crisps, biscuits, chocolate in the house. There is a bowl of christmas chocolates on the kitchen table. DS never touches them. He's much more likely to grab an apple

Kiriwawa Thu 24-Jan-13 09:16:51

Oh god, you really are insufferably smug.

Hels - I have a child like that (see my last post and earlier in the thread). People who have 'normal' eaters always think it's because of their skillful parenting. I have two friends who were smug with their first child and got a nasty shock with the second ones grin

I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I do abhor smugness

RarelyAGobshite Thu 24-Jan-13 09:29:17

I hope your 'friend' is as judgey about you as you are about her.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 11:31:55

For those people who claim that their children 'won't eat' fruit and veggies etc so they 'have' to offer them a junk alternative (which they eat!)...your child will not starve and will eat what you put in front of it if it is hungry enough. If I did not eat as a child I was not offered endless 'treats' - I had to wait until the next meal time whereupon I ate as I was really hungry. Rocket science this is not.

Country, I know this, but when DS hasn't eaten for 2 days it gets to me & I cave in. He doesn't get total crap but would happily live on baked beans & sausages or toast if I let him.
And sometimes I cave in because the whining gets to me.

I'm not perfect, I know my child will not deliberately starve himself but it's hard.

Badvoc Thu 24-Jan-13 11:40:32

Country kitten.
My ds1 has sn.
I can assure you he will not eat fruit. Of any kind. And never has. Probably never will.
Ds2 who is nt loves fruit and eats loads.
People like you make me so bloody mad.
Always the mothers fault, right?
Some children literally cannot stand the taste/texture of some foods. That is NORMAL! We all have likes and dislikes.
Ds1 also does not eat chocolate or sweets and only drinks water.
Does that pass your stupid "test"?
I will not deny my child food. If they are hungry they eat.
Not rocket science, is it?

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 11:41:06

And I still have a real issue with the stupid naming of dreadful food as 'treats' It is not a treat to eat food which is not good for you - this is not 'treating' your body at all!

And to those who say that labelling certain foods as what they are (toxic crap) causes problems later on (yeah,yeah) I feel that the labelling of junk food as 'treat' food is very damaging - we clearly need educating about what your body would view as a treat because it sure isn't cake, biscuits, crisps and chocolate.

I am amazed at the delusional defence of stuffing this crap in to kids by people on here - have you heard about the obesity crisis? Setting up your kids for a lifetime and 'treats' and 'snacks' is really dumb.

And just because you might be thin does not mean that you are healthy either. You really are what you eat.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 11:42:21

And OP I am not horrified at all by what you describe - it is commonplace. Sad but true.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 11:47:56

I don' really understand why a 3yo needs crisps, chocolate at 10am in the morning.

I understand offering fussy eaters anything for breakfast just so they eat. But we are not talking about breakfast, we are talking about 10am in the morning.

So if the child has had breakfast, they can last till lunch without scoffing down a load of food which offers very little nutrition.

If they refuse a healthy snack mid morning then they can wait till lunchtime surely.

If they were at nursery they would be offered fruit/raw veg and nothing else so I hardly think it's harmful.

I wouldn't be horrified but I would question the mothers judgement (silently of course) and wonder about the long term health of the child if crisps, choc and cheesy bites are seen as a normal snack to be offered at any time of the day.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 11:51:41

And I don't think the OP is referring to children with SN at all.

Don't get all het up when clearly the OP isn't referencing your particular situation.

Do we really need to put a disclaimer on every thread?

Badvoc Thu 24-Jan-13 12:17:10

How does the op know whether the child in question has sn or feeding issues?
She doesn't, does she?
What a boring tedious thread.
Am off.
Ttfn x

Kiriwawa Thu 24-Jan-13 12:19:50

You don't know how much breakfast the child has eaten Carrie.

Anyway, let's not forget that the child refused the food

countrykitten - fruit is not the fabulous food you seem to think it is. Fruit sugar is no better for you than sugar in a biscuit

Sirzy Thu 24-Jan-13 12:23:29

You can't judge anyones diet on one snack.

Chocolate and crisps may not be the most nutritious of snacks but that doesn't mean a child (or adult) should never eat them, there is nothing wrong with eating something just because you like it.

cory Thu 24-Jan-13 12:23:49

So for those of you who wouldn't let your 3yo taste cake or biscuits because you don't want to them to learn to like crap, what do you do if they are invited to a birthday party? a wedding? a special dinner out with dessert? or do your children not have a social life?

have a lovely photo of dd scoffing boeuf bourgignonne at her own christening; followed by pavlova if I remember correctly; it hasn't spoiled her enjoyment of fruit and vegetables in the least

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 12:25:18

I should imagine she does Badvoc seeing as it's her friend.

Kiriwawa, there is a big difference between fruit sugar (fructose) and sweet sugar (refined sugar).

This is the only time in my life I have ever heard anyone say fruit is as bad for you as sweets grin

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 12:31:54

My 5yo and 2yo happily eat all sorts of junk. However they eat more fruit/veg than they do crap. This is because I'm lucky in that I don't have a fussy eater so I can tell them to grab an apple etc if they are hungry between meals.

I wouldn't stuff myself full of crap at 10am in the morning so why would I offer it to them?

If someone else give it to them <looks at grandparents> then they can have it.

They help themselves whatever they want at parties.

I don't keep sweets or crisps in the house. I bake biscuits, cakes etc but I don't allow a free for all on the biscuit tin.

I also make sure I send two key messages home:

1. All food is fine in moderation.

2. Junk food will not fill you up and should not be eaten if you are hungry. Eat something healthy which will fill you up instead.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 12:37:52

Excuse typos. 2yo climbing all over me!

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 16:10:07

Dear god country you sound like the smuggest person in the world of food I have to say.

This thread is more than tedious. A biscuit given as part of an overall decent diet is absolutely fine, you are going right over the top in my opinion.

If you want to be that strict with your own kids well thats up to you but stop calling people dumb and being so annoying about it please!

When my ds1 was 3 he ate cheese. And that was it. For about 6 months.

Thank fuck I was not on mumsnet 10 years ago to be told I must never give in and make him eat. Why? What for?

He's 13 now. He eats a shed load of crap plus fruit and veg. Shoot me now.

Nincompoopery Thu 24-Jan-13 17:26:06

Another one here going to hell by the looks of it. My 3 year old DD is currently eating smarties, 6 of them to be exact. As her Grandmother looked after her today she probably also had something sweet throughout the day. Am I worried? Not in the least.
DD has 5 portions of fruit per day as well as everything else that the 'text books' insist that she should be eating. I could try to say that she eats well because of my parenting but its not just this.. She enjoys fruit and veg so in this respect I'm lucky. However the last 3 years have been filled with times when she won't eat and so she has had times where it feels like she's lived on cheese, toast and garlic bread. I have become a lot wiser (or maybe just more easy going) following each phase and don't stress about it so much now.
And here's the part where I will probably get flamed.. Special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas and holidays we have an anything goes attitude. If she wants popcorn before breakfast she has it. Sweets before lunch? Fine. Chocolate before bed, no problem. However once back home or aft the special day everything goes back to normal.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 17:32:09

Where did I say that fruit was amazingly good for you? In moderation it is pretty good for you on the whole though, in particular berries.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 17:41:28

I think you can take it too extremities either way, with too much junk or going beyond super anal about it.

What's super-anal about simply not offering sweets?

FWIW, DD1 can be fussy (she likes to stick to what she's used to). We deal with this by not giving her the same thing too often. I expect that if we had given her sweets / crisps as a preschooler she would be insisting on those things regularly now.

Cake etc at birthday parties is not a problem because birthday parties don't happen every day.

With DD2 we were luckier - she eats whatever is put in front of her.

Either way, all we did was try to capitalise on the good luck and mitigate the bad luck we had with each child.

I'm sure that DW and I have got lots of things wrong as parents, but not this.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 18:18:52

Some of the posts on this thread are beyond anal toad.

If you dont want to offer sweets dont thats your choice isnt it.

LadySybilPussPolham Thu 24-Jan-13 18:27:18

All together now...
I've got my judgy pants on
They're pulled up over my head
The only time I take them off
Is when I go to bed

JuliaScurr Thu 24-Jan-13 18:35:43

my friend has 2 kids and is quite strict about what and how much they eat. My dd is encouraged to eat fruit and veg and is allowed to eat pizza, sweets, biscuits etc whenever she wants.
My friend's kids are constantly asking for food and eat any available sweets until they are physically stopped. My dd quite often does that too, but more often stops independently.

This may well be coincidental, but I suspect the rationing has made my friend's dc more obsessed with food and sweets.

ouryve Thu 24-Jan-13 18:40:05

My kids (6 & 9) have pretty much free reign of a biscuit tin full of hobnobs, digestives etc. DS2 CBA and DS1 might sometimes have 3 digestives in a day and I don't care because we struggle to keep weight on him. He's extremely bouncy, whatever he eats, but worse when he's low on energy. A handful of something sweet and carby actually calms his jitters, sometimes and has averted many a meltdown.

As for rice cakes, I used to keep them in my cupboard to chuck at the boys while I was cooking and the smell of the food was making them wail and want to eat NOW! Sometimes they even ate them grin

IceBergJam Thu 24-Jan-13 18:51:39

I offer DD unhealthy snacks on occassion. She has tried most foods . But to give her free for all on that shit stuff. Oreven once a day. No way. I don't understand the point.

No wonder there is an obesity crisis in the UK. And weight is not the only factor impacted by eating crap.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 18:55:07

Children need to be taught control, you cannot be as controlling on them for ever. That is all.

You can only control them and what they eat at a small age.

Some of these children may turn into mini mes and others may well gorge given the chance. Ive seen it happen.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 19:05:24

Exactly - so what is the problem? Some parents are ok with their kids eating crap (either every day or as a 'treat') and some are not. Simple.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 19:06:37

Sorry - in response to a previous post! I omitted to refresh.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 19:07:50

I dont see the need to call people dumb. Thats all.

I think its more normal to eat the odd buscuit rather than shouting about them being toxic crap and dreadful and calling people dumb.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 19:09:44

Julia - your daughter is allowed to eat 'pizza, sweets and biscuits etc. whenever she wants'......!!!! And you think that this is a good way to feed her?

And for those saying people who don't eat/feed junk are 'judgy'...there are a lot of silly (in fact pretty hilarious) comments going the other way.

countrykitten Thu 24-Jan-13 19:11:36

And Badvoc - your post was verging on hysterical.

country my DCs also have free access to biscuits etc, they don't feel the need to eat the whole packet in 30 seconds.
My DDs best friend, aged 14 isn't allowed any of the type of food you call "crap" at home. It's never in the house.
Do you know what she does? Every morning she goes to tescos and buys either a Victoria sponge or a Madeira cake. And eats the whole lot on the way to school.
At least my dd waits til she gets home, gets a knife and cuts one slice.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 19:19:31

That always makes me laugh.

'I feed my children crap which means they don't gorge on sweets when offered them' - no because you have spent the day filling them up on crap. Logic?

IMHO it's about teaching them healthy habits. Yes yes, they might be stick thin at 10 when they are burning everything off with football practice, PE and 1000 jumps on the trampoline. But when he is older and living a more sedentary lifestyle (eg working in an office, kids, little time for the gym) what is going to happen if he thinks he can shove any old food in his mouth at any time of the day?

It's not anal to teach everything in moderation. You don't teach moderation by teaching them crisps and chocolate can be eaten whenever you get the urge. You do it by showing them what you can eat a lot of, and what should be enjoyed occasionally.

It's basic common sense tbh.

I had free reign of sweets, chocolate and crisps growing up. I don't stuff my face constantly with them now and I am far from obese if I do say so myself.

The toddler doesn't have free reign as hes only 3 but when hes older he will too.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 19:22:53

Country, I think you have the edge on hysteria on this thread.

I have to say.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 19:25:03

Tantrums I know a hell a lot of kids who are allowed free reign on junk and eat bags of crisps and chocolate bars on the way to the school.

They think this is normal. Because no one has ever told them what a decent breakfast should consist of. They think well my mum has always let me eat shit at 10am so why shouldn't I just eat it at 8am?

Then they go into school, on a sugar high, then they crash and can't concentrate. And the schools have to put on breakfast clubs to try and get a class of children that can listen and sit still.

your example is one in a million. My example is much more commonplace.

bruffin Thu 24-Jan-13 19:27:35

My dcs are 15 and 17 now they have always eaten a mixture and certainly had things like crisps and biscuits when they were little. I never restricted anything.
They have never been obese and are fit and healthy. They have a really good attitude to food.
When Ds was 4/5 his idea of a food treat was a sea food platter.

But it isn't though.

If something is forbidden than when said child is out of the house they are much more likely to shove junk down their neck as quick as possible. Because its bad and naughty

My DCs eat breakfast. And they know that there are chocolate bars, crisps etc in the house so they don't need to waste their money buying it secretly and eating it out of the house.

Sirzy Thu 24-Jan-13 19:28:51

It's not anal to teach everything in moderation. You don't teach moderation by teaching them crisps and chocolate can be eaten whenever you get the urge. You do it by showing them what you can eat a lot of, and what should be enjoyed occasionally.

I agree. I think they "they can have what they want when they want" is an odd way of doing things, especially with young children as they do need to learn that too much of anything isn't good as part of a balanced diet but that some choices are going to be more suitable than others at a given time.

And just for the record, allowing chocolate and crisps and biscuits doesn't mean no one has ever showed them what a decent breakfast is.

That is truly one of the stupidest things I have ever read tbh.

In your opinion, people who give their chikdren crisps are neglectful parents who do not teach their children about food? Get a fucking grip would you?
My DCs know about food and don't have a negative relationship with it, thinking there are bad foods.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 19:35:04

"In your opinion, people who give their chikdren (sic) crisps are neglectful parents who do not teach their children about food? Get a fucking grip would you?"

Before you start swearing and therby losing the argument would you like to read the thread, where I have stated more than once, that I believe in 'everything in moderation.'

Which kind of moots your point about 'bad foods'.


CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 19:38:14

"so they don't need to waste their money buying it secretly and eating it out of the house."

No, they can just gorge on it indoors whenever the urge takes them grin

No you said They think this is normal. Because no one has ever told them what a decent breakfast should consist of. They think well my mum has always let me eat shit at 10am so why shouldn't I just eat it at 8am?

So again, children who are allowed, like mine, to have crisps, chocolate etc as they please would, in your own words, have no idea what a decent breakfast is.

And if I chose to swear, as a grown up that is my choice. I am not losing any mythical argument with you. That is how I speak.
And your argument, IMVHO is idiotic.

Like I say, cramming a Victoria sponge down your neck at 7am because you are not allowed it at home is not a healthy relationship with food.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 19:44:26

Yes and I stand by my point.

There are children in this land who have never been taught about food. Who have been allowed to eat whatever they want, whenever they want. Causing problems other than obesity.

I never said any child who has come within a yard of a crisp is going to end up like this. I merely said I think this problem is more typical than teenage girls who eat a whole cake on the way to school.

I don't see how that is idiotic. Esp not when headteachers are saying exactly the same thing - and the poor teachers who have to try and control teach these children.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 19:49:00

Thats an extreme carried and on the other side you have horror at a biccy.

Where I stand is in somewhere in the middle - however I dont think that the approach of total and utter denial of unhealthy snacks at home is the way forward either.

CotherMuckingFunt Thu 24-Jan-13 19:54:49

I do believe it's mostly luck as to whether you have a fruit/veg eater or a sweet crap eater. Ds and dd were born 22 months apart and brought up by dh and myself so there's next to no room for parenting changes. Ds will stuff his face with crap if it's on offer while dd chooses fruit/veg every time. Tonight's dinner was fish fingers and chips. Dd chose to have pasta and green beans instead. Ds had a biscuit for his after school snack yesterday while dd chose frozen green beans.

goldiehorn Thu 24-Jan-13 19:58:57

As a child I was allowed free reign on all the bad foods in the house - crisps, biscuits, chocolate fizzy drinks etc. It didnt matter because we did so much excercise we were never fat kids.

However, now I cannot have any of that stuff even in the house now as I will just gorge on it. If I ate junk food whenever the urge took me I would be obese. I certainly was not denied it as a child, the opposite in fact.

I dont really understand why parents think that allowing their kids to just eat any old crap all the time will mean that their kids will have a healthy relationship with food later on. Its not very logical.

My plan with DS is to let him have junk food when it is available, so at parties, special occassions etc as a 'treat' (dont get why that word is so wrong either), but not on any kind of regular basis.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 24-Jan-13 20:02:08

What's a cheesy bite?? Is it like wot sits?

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 20:03:54

It's not an extreme pickled - childhood obesity is increasing and schools throughout the country are talking about the lack of breakfasts.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 20:04:38

I suppose in this context a wotsit. I have got some of those Goodies Organix things for DS which are cheesy and bitey and have no worrying ingredients.

goldiehorn Thu 24-Jan-13 20:12:19

Yes I agree with carried . People talk about extremes of eating and how it is perhaps only a certain type of parent who lets their child get overweight. But the fact is that childhood obesity is on an alarming rise, so obviously the 'letting your child eat junk food whenever they want so they dont get ishoos with food' strategy is not working.

Yep and the "never letting your child eat sweets so they eat them in secret" isn't working either.

CarriedAwayAnnie Thu 24-Jan-13 20:27:37

There is a middle ground you know Tantrums ..

goldiehorn Thu 24-Jan-13 21:02:07

Yes just because someone does not want their child to have junk food on a regular basis, this does not mean they are a total food nazi who categorically bans any sweets, crisps, biscuits ever.

I guess it depends how you define 'in moderation' as well.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 21:09:13

I dont think people were saying that goldie.

But answering the OP. Horrified. Bad Parenting. Its over the top.

Look at some of the terminology on here to describe a buscuit. Its a bit nuts, nuttier than a Peanut KitKat.

Back2Two Thu 24-Jan-13 21:27:38

You do influence taste and cravings with diet in young children, that'll stick with them. A well as food associations.... Psychological cravings related to foods that "comfort"

"crap" isn't an innocent term. Salt, sugar, saturated fats ... They're all major factors in all major illnesses. You don't need to be fat to be ill.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 24-Jan-13 21:40:45

And an occasional biscuit does not make you ill.

JuliaScurr Fri 25-Jan-13 15:46:01

country dd is allowed to eat as much/little as she wants of whatever she wants. We encourage her to make healthy choices andshe understands the effects of different foods. She is a picky sod ever since having tinned sausage n beans/ chicken nuggets/ smiley face potato things at friends houses. But she was bound to discover those things sometime. So we figured the bbest thing was not makea big deal about food of any kind so that it didn't become an issue. Nowshe's 13, I'd say she was a bit worse than average, but nowhere near as bad as the kids that have been really restricted. At least she quite often chooses to eat fruit and veg without being beaten about the head with a chair nagged.

JuliaScurr Fri 25-Jan-13 16:11:38

dd just got in and pointed out that our impression of her friends being less picky than her is because when they eat here they try to be polite - but dd swaps bits of food with them and eats the bits they don't like (we're not always in tthe same room)

At other peoples' houses she seems to eat what is put iin front of her.

I can't see how deciding what she will eat for her helps her learn to make good choices in the future

AmberSocks Fri 25-Jan-13 16:17:22

if you offer kids a bit of everything they will get all the nutrients they need.its more important what they eat over a week or a month not a day.

skullcandy Fri 25-Jan-13 16:29:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JuliaScurr Fri 25-Jan-13 16:39:16

skull give him a Mars bar and a camera
<waits for pics>

countrykitten Fri 25-Jan-13 18:11:46

Not sure if anyone was talking about kids with SN such as being food phobic. That is clearly a different matter.

Julia - of course you decide what your child eats. You buy the food don't you? Therefore you are deciding what she eats - every parent does. My two are vegetarian because that is how we eat in our house - other families bring up their children eating meat because that's what they do in their house. I think that you grossly underestimate the parental influence on a child's diet.

Food phobias are irrelevant unless a child has a phobia about an entire food group - in which case, time to seek help.

I fail to see how giving said child a chocolate biscuit helps.


A daily biscuit of bag of crisps in the lunchbox is not occasional.


I have no doubt that if you force a child to eat boiled-to-death vegetables and under-ripe fruit whilst simultaneously forbidding all junk it is more likely that the child will learn to binge on sweets at every available opportunity.

By contrast, if you provide a young child with well-prepared food, thus encouraging them to appreciate and develop a taste for healthy food, it is much less likely that there will ever be a problem.

This should be painfully obvious.

trixymalixy Fri 25-Jan-13 18:46:26

Food phobias are irrelevant unless a child has a phobia about an entire food group - in which case, time to seek help.

I fail to see how giving said child a chocolate biscuit helps.

What an ignorant post, it's no wonder you fail to see how giving a chocolate biscuit will help. clearly you are absolutely clueless on the matter of food phobias or issues.

Several people have posted saying they have underweight children with food issues or restricted diets and that the advice given, in my case from a dietician, is that any calories are better than no calories.

Lavenderhoney Fri 25-Jan-13 18:46:43

How do you know what the child had for breakfast? It's not my choice of snack for me or the dc, but then neither is rice cakes and fruitsmile but you can't really judge. Maybe that's all that was left in the cupboard before doing a shop?

Maybe the child was being rewarded for good behaviour with whatever they wanted for a snack? Maybe it was mums snack too? Maybe she knows you are a bit judgey and was having a laugh?

Rice cakes are horrible anyway. Just toast some whole meal bread and cut it into squares if you want to give a filler.

skullcandy Fri 25-Jan-13 18:54:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Not really bingo.

I can see the logic in an injection of emergency calories when a child isn't eating at all, but that is a different scenario to the one I addressed.

By the way, I'll freely admit to inexperience in dealing with phobias and other food issues. Perhaps if I'd handled my children's diet differently I would have gained some experience.

trixymalixy Fri 25-Jan-13 19:17:30

By the way, I'll freely admit to inexperience in dealing with phobias and other food issues. Perhaps if I'd handled my children's diet differently I would have gained some experience.

What an arrogant horrible thing to say. My child's diet problems are related to multiple severe allergies. Wouldn't you be scared of eating if your experience was that frequently food hurts you?

As I said, clueless and extremely ignorant posting.

PickledInAPearTree Fri 25-Jan-13 19:44:45

Where oh where oh where did u day anything about lunch boxes toad?

And anyway, a small biscuit in a lunch box even if it was every day is fine, unless your very very anal if that child is eating a well balanced diet. It's fine fine fine. FINE.

PickledInAPearTree Fri 25-Jan-13 19:45:12

I can't post in here anymore I'm losing the will to live.

countrykitten Fri 25-Jan-13 19:54:11

Well some people don't think that refined carbs and sugar are ok to eat every day. I am one of those and I doubt that I am alone. Each to their own.

PickledInAPearTree Fri 25-Jan-13 19:56:06

Yep each to their own.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sat 26-Jan-13 13:54:42

Food as a reward? Really?

countrykitten Sat 26-Jan-13 16:50:05

Yes - and these are the people that think that restricting crappy food will give their kids 'food issues'!

Emotional eaters and those who 'reward' themselves with 'treats' seem to be to be some of the people with the very worst relationships with food.

bruffin Sat 26-Jan-13 17:03:40

A lot of food issues are about control. If a parent is over controlling with food it could well lead to things like anorexia or bulemia.
I for the middle ground, there is nothing wrong with So called "crap" food in limitation. If you are labeling food as good or bad then you are on the road to having food issues.

bruffin Sat 26-Jan-13 17:43:45

What i forget is that i am half greek cypriot. Their attitude to food is that it should be enjoyed and relished, not something that should be feared and controlled.
My dad was a sod but some of my favorite memories of him is handing over a bit of this or that to try with a huge grin on his face. Thankfully my dcs have lived up to their genes and love olives.

NapaCab Sat 26-Jan-13 17:55:36

Well, it does sound like a lot of salt and sugar for a kid to take in at that hour of the morning. It would probably lead to their blood sugar spiking and them getting very irritable and cranky around mid-day.

But hey, what do I know. My son is only 15 months yet so still more or less eats what I give him and as for bad parenting, I let go of his hand for a split second yesterday as I bent to pick something out and he walked out into the what could have been the path of an oncoming car, if there had been a car coming. Thankfully there wasn't but it still made me feel like Bad Parent of the Year.

NapaCab Sat 26-Jan-13 17:57:23

pick something up that should read

countrykitten Sat 26-Jan-13 20:27:52

I disagree that labelling some food as crap or rubbish or whatever is likely to create 'issues'about food. It's merely telling the truth!

CarriedAwayAnnie Sat 26-Jan-13 20:33:49

Well you can say that is a bad food.

Or you can educate your children about the different food groups.

Or you can turn a blind eye and let them eat whatever, whenever and then cross your fingers and hope for the best.

I prefer education.

sunshine401 Sat 26-Jan-13 20:36:50

anything and everything can be bad for you if its amount is to much. wine

bruffin Sat 26-Jan-13 20:51:38

Look up the word Orthorexia

So called healthy foods like nuts and hummous and sesame seeds are bad for my ds, they could really kill him, where as a packet of crisps wouldnt do him any harm.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sat 26-Jan-13 21:08:33

But Bruffin you know this thread isn't about children who problems with certain food.

countrykitten Sat 26-Jan-13 21:11:12

Oh for goodness sake. You KNOW that no one is discussing this kind condition and that we are discussing healthy/unhealthy food in general. And a packet of crisps is not a healthy alternative to a food that 'could really kill him' is it? There are other foods in the world....

bruffin Sat 26-Jan-13 21:15:47

Its about a packet of crisps which some people on here seem to think is the work ofvthembsre devil. I am just pointing out you need a bit of perspective with food. Not label things good or bad food as there is no such thing.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sat 26-Jan-13 21:45:50

Exactly Bruffin - everything in moderation.

Unless of course your child has SN, allergies, food phobias or is a fussy eater.

I think it's fair to say the OP isn't referring to those issues though.

PickledInAPearTree Sat 26-Jan-13 21:53:39

This thread could kill me!

countrykitten Sat 26-Jan-13 22:00:20

I will never agree with you that there are not good and bad foods.

No one will EVER convince me that a big mac and fries (for example) is not bad food and that in 'moderation' it is ok to eat it. It is not. It is disgusting and it does disgusting things to your body.

However I seem to be in the minority on this one so I shall rest my case. I will say though that I am really shocked at how many people are bringing up their kids to think that eating chocolate, crisps, cake and other general junk is normal and ok and that 'snacking' is a good idea. I am eternally grateful to my own mother who brought us up to never snack and to avoid sweet sugary food and junk food.

trixymalixy Sat 26-Jan-13 22:06:27

Is it though? The OP never came back to say anything about whether the child was underweight or there was more to it. That three snacks were offered and all refused sounded scarily familiar to those of us with children who are underweight and/or have food issues. Most parents if their child said no to a snack would just not offer anything else. Why offer three separate high calorie options?

CarriedAwayAnnie Sat 26-Jan-13 22:21:49

Because she isn't concerned what her child eats?

JudithOfThePeace Sat 26-Jan-13 22:33:52

Countrykitten - I think most people would agree with you about sugary junk food not being good. Perhaps there would be arguments about eating it in moderation etc, but basically, yes, sugary junk food is bad.

But why is snacking bad? If you chose healthy options, what's wrong with snacking?

bruffin Sat 26-Jan-13 22:45:15

How on earth does a big mac so horrible things to your insides. Its a bit of meat lettuce and bread. Non of those things are bad for you unless that is all you eat, just as of all you eat is fruit which wouldn't be too healthy either as it wouldn't be a balanced diet.

countrykitten Sat 26-Jan-13 22:54:05

bruffin - I am assuming that you are joking here. If not, educate yourself.

countrykitten Sat 26-Jan-13 22:59:49

JOTP - I just think that snacking is a really bad habit and is contributing to our obesity crisis. People want food 24/7 and seem to eat on demand - this is a big change from when I grew up in the 70s and I think a change for the worse. I am well aware that little children may well need small healthy snacks from time to time but feel that that is different to the constant snacking that adults seem to indulge in. We seem to be sleepwalking in to serious ill health and malnutrition via what we are eating. (or not eating).

bruffin Sat 26-Jan-13 23:14:58

I'm not the one who needs educating.

ElectricSheep Sat 26-Jan-13 23:26:56

Just as benefit claimant = scrounger


Fat= poor = social underclass

Remember We're All In It Together

AlienReflux Sun 27-Jan-13 09:25:51

Children NEED snacks in the day, and one big mac will not do horrible things to your insides, eating one a week might, they really are full of shite, but one? nah.

countrykitten Sun 27-Jan-13 09:33:48

OK - you carry on feeding them to your children but don't judge people who won't. I am completely amazed by this thread.

AlienReflux Sun 27-Jan-13 09:43:39

I've never given my children big macs hmm ffs, am just saying eating ONE will not wreck your insides, and snacks are essential fuel for growing kids, healthy ones preferably, but a biscuit occasionally will not make them obese or bulimic.

AlienReflux Sun 27-Jan-13 09:44:18

I'm not judging, I think that's your area of expertise.

Sirzy Sun 27-Jan-13 10:24:14

I was always under the impression that little and often was actually a much better way to eat especially for children as they need constant 'fuel' rather than just being filled 3 times a day.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 10:58:58

Are you qualified in this field country?

Your just very very forceful on the matter.

No one was saying about giving toddlers Big Macs but as a fully grown adult one here and there over months? Is that a big deal?

insancerre Sun 27-Jan-13 11:03:55

Children need calories and all this rice cakes or fresh fruit for snacks is baloney.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sun 27-Jan-13 12:03:53

But not empty calories eg sweets.

They need calories that provide nutrition and energy.

If a decent eater, a child will get all the calories they need from 3 meals a day. Thus snacks only need to be fruit etc.

A rice cake with a spread of houmous/philly is a decent snack.

bruffin Sun 27-Jan-13 12:24:49

There is nothing wrong with a few empty calories if they child is burning them off.

Much to my sadness as being a bit greek, hummous is not healthy for my son and I also hate the fact that it has been taken over by the MC as a healthy snack. It supposed to be a dip with lots of luscious white greek bread or pita bread not bloody rice cakes.

Sirzy Sun 27-Jan-13 12:41:44

They may not need sweets but that doesn't mean they are bad a part of a balanced diet.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 13:37:50

We all don't need a lot of things. Do we ? Food isn't just about survival it's about enjoyment, that's why ergo out for meals and have things like birthday teas and cakes.

I want my children to eat well learn about food and cooking and learn how to enjoy a moderate amount of sweets and control themselves.

Like I do.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sun 27-Jan-13 14:15:10

"Children need calories and all this rice cakes or fresh fruit for snacks is baloney"

It was this comment I was responding to. It implies that children 'need' sweets or crisps as they need calories.

Which is ridiculous. My point was that, yes they do need calories but they do not need empty calories.

Which isn't say they can't have empty calories, just they don't need them.

Which is why I suggested Houmous - it's a good food for children as it's calorific but healthy.

<<bangs head on table>>

bruffin Sun 27-Jan-13 14:39:13

Bt you also suggested rice cakes which are basically empty calories.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sun 27-Jan-13 14:45:04

Not with a spread of Houmous and Philly though. Which was my point.

bruffin Sun 27-Jan-13 14:52:26

So you agrervits about the whole diet over a period of time rather than looking at one item of food.
A sweet as part of an overall balanced diet is not a problem. If they were just eating sweets all day or a rice cake all day and nothing else then you don't have a balanced diet.

insancerre Sun 27-Jan-13 16:24:58

carriedawayannie you are putting words into my mouth
I didn't say that children need sweets. in fact, I never even mentioned sweets.
I said that children need calories. Restricting what they eat to only fruit or healthy alternatives, is not necessary- children can cope with the odd biscuit or packet of crisps and it won't do them any harm.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sun 27-Jan-13 17:03:47

Exactly Bruffin - everything in moderation.

insancerre - I have no idea what you are trying to say tbh. Your first post implies giving them fresh fruit is bollocks. I was lost after that.

insancerre Sun 27-Jan-13 17:07:04

grin I confuse myself sometimes
I meant that just giving them fruit and so called healthy food is bollocks

JudithOfThePeace Sun 27-Jan-13 20:25:59

Countrykitten - I think it is quite strange to say that all snacking is a bad habit. Snacking (healthily) can help stabilise blood sugar and help keep you mentally alert throughout the day. This is why schools offer snacks mid-morning. Last week, my son's favourite mid-morning snack at school was a carrot and a glass of milk!

I think your rather extreme attitude to food (where all snacking is bad and a single burger does actual harm) is not actually as healthy as you believe it to be. It is my aim to teach my children to make healthy food choices, but also to encourage them to enjoy food without guilt.

I also think that is the aim of most mums - and where the 'everything in moderation' maxim comes from. It doesn't mean that for every apple a child eats, it's also ok to have a burger - but a burger every now and again is not going to rot them from the inside out.

I once went to a children's birthday party where every child sat together and ate a piece of chocolate cake. Every child except one, who wasn't allowed chocolate. Not because of an allergy (I knew mother and child well) but because the mother wouldn't let her daughter eat anything 'unhealthy'. She was literally made to sit there watching the others eat chocolate cake. I refuse to believe that an occasional piece of chocolate cake at a party - however much saturated fat and E numbers it contains - will do more harm to any child than that. She'll probably shove chocolate cake down her neck at triple speed when she's older.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 21:30:49

Hurrah for Judith.

CarriedAwayAnnie Sun 27-Jan-13 22:21:59

Poor child sad

Banning certain foods is as crazy as offering crisps, chocolate biscuits and cheesy bites at 10am.

Who is actually suggesting a complete ban on crisps and sweets? I'm not. The only point I've made is that making them part of a child's routine diet is likely to lessen their ability to enjoy other, healthier, types of food. That is all.

PickledInAPearTree Tue 29-Jan-13 22:39:24

It was mooted as a solution toad. However that poster has given up on us now.

So yes it has been said.

Wow this thread took a bit of a turn didn't it

PickledInAPearTree Tue 29-Jan-13 22:51:54

Snacks dog poo cat poo and breastfeeding, when will I learn.

You still around Moonmin? Me too and I am in PAIN I feel explody.

There's dog poo threads, I must have missed them. Cat poo on garden threads I've seen.

Yep still here, csection booked for Friday though, bit earlier than I thought it would be!

PickledInAPearTree Tue 29-Jan-13 22:56:56

Oh thats not bad though as we enter rib cracking phase! Good luck..

ClippedPhoenix Tue 29-Jan-13 22:58:16

Get over yourself and stop judging is what I say.

Think you! Tbh my cervix and hip are getting worse so it's a bit of a relief to see the end in sight

star I'm with you on this! Every parent makes their choices & every child is an individual but if you don't give the crappy ( it's my opinion thanks) stuff on a regular basis it won't become habit. I have friends whose idea of lunch for their kids is crisps/sausage rolls/chocolate etc & I do think it effects them - sore bums from acidic pooh, super fussiness when it comes to proper meals etc.
Trouble is your friend is entitled to make her choices about her DCs diets and there's nothing you can do about it without sounding like a busy body or that you're being judgy - which I suppose you are but rightly so.
The "children's diet" debate will run and run!


I agree. Certain people on this thread seem ultra-defensive.

Not giving children sweets etc on a daily basis is quite a normal strategy where I live. Those who are offended by this strategy ought to lighten up a bit.

trixymalixy Fri 25-Jan-13 19:17:30

I know this thread is (thankfully) dying now, plus I'm losing the will to contribute further, but I will respond to you.

You seem to imply that you regularly have to give your child a regular flow of chocolate biscuits to keep him/her out of hospital. I don't think you can blame me for being sceptical.

In any event, if your child has severe allergies he/she is out of the ordinary run: I fail to see why you think my post has any relevance to you.

loismustdieatyahoodotcom Wed 30-Jan-13 19:44:47

Tbh the op never stated that the child had any health issues but I would hate to be judged like that knowing that i do what i do for the right reasons. My DS weighs 17.2 lb at 16 months old, i think unless you know every detail of the parent and childs life then you just should judge. When DS health issues are address i'll address his diet untill then i'll follow the advice i think is best.

trixymalixy Wed 30-Jan-13 20:36:30

Well funnily enough the consultants exact words were that after passing a food challenge we were to " commit to giving cake every day to maintain tolerance" and therefore stay out of hospital. Remain sceptical if you like, it's the absolute truth. Yet again showing your ignorance.

The dietician's advice was to give pudding after each meal to try and boost weight.

Your post was a dig at parents of children with food issues. Claiming your approach to your child's diet had avoided any food issues or phobias implied that parents had somehow caused their child's issues. I was merely pointing out that very often there were underlying health issues that were out of the parents control, in my case allergies, others on this thread have SN.

loismustdieatyahoodotcom Wed 30-Jan-13 20:47:23

Got to agree with trixymalixy on this. I think unless you have a child with additional dietary issues or complex health needs you would be shock or hmm but when its your child its the norm and there are good reasons for it. you can always fix eating habits at a later stage but not health complications caused by having an underweight child.

PickledInAPearTree Wed 30-Jan-13 22:03:09

Some people on this thread make Gillian mckeith look like a pleasant prospect.

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