(317 Posts)
HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:15:55

This is a slightly goady post on an emotive topic.


blackeyedsusan Wed 16-Jan-13 11:17:03

oh good good, I like buns... mmmmmmmmmmm

BumpingFuglies Wed 16-Jan-13 11:18:02

Go on then?

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 11:21:38

Iced buns from Gregg's mmmmmm grin I'm not throwing it I'm eating it!

ThingummyBob Wed 16-Jan-13 11:22:08


<<encourages goading thread>>

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:24:46

This is a follow-up to the OP, including a drip-feed of hitherto unrevealed info and the phrase 'should of known better than to post here'.


BumpingFuglies Wed 16-Jan-13 11:26:18

Do get to the point OP.

ThingummyBob Wed 16-Jan-13 11:26:26

oooooooooooooh you are spoiling for a fight aren't you op? wink

BumpingFuglies Wed 16-Jan-13 11:27:20

<lines up buns>

princesschick Wed 16-Jan-13 11:29:57

Oh no not one of those drip drip threads. Here have a biscuit - my first ever... And yes YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU. So there. grin

RubyGates Wed 16-Jan-13 11:30:15

I am unbearably smug and would never allow myself to get into that situation. Also why did you allow it to happen in the first place?

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:31:22

This is a thinly-disguised passive-aggressive attack on a well-respected poster (not princesschick). Narcissists, the lot of you.

Absy Wed 16-Jan-13 11:35:02

<completely misses point>

How DARE you say that? My great aunt nearly died after being hit by a badly thrown cinnamon bun, so you're being very unsympathetic and should have known better

Absy Wed 16-Jan-13 11:35:39

You're also being cakeist. and savoury-pastry ist.

Why only bun fight? Hm?

everlong Wed 16-Jan-13 11:36:23

Right over my head.

Come on spit it out woman.

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 11:36:37

Is this a thread about a thread about a thread about a thread about a thread?

YAVU. In fact, you shouldn't be allowed.

BumpingFuglies Wed 16-Jan-13 11:37:39

Hurry up, have to go back to work in a minute

everlong Wed 16-Jan-13 11:37:44

Never heard of princesschick either.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:37:49

RubyGates it wasn't my fault the carpark was full, and anyway I was only in the supermarket for a minute.

wriggletto Wed 16-Jan-13 11:38:28

Do you have children? [head tilt]

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 11:39:09

Are you insane? Or just sick? How could you possibly do that?
<<this is me coming into the thread, misreading the OP, getting totally the wrong end of the stick and giving the OP both barrels>>

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 11:39:56

Did you mean to be so rude?

5madthings Wed 16-Jan-13 11:40:19


HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:41:38

littlemisssunny Is this a thread about a thread about a thread about a thread about a thread?

No, meta-freds are bad form.

Sparklingbrook Wed 16-Jan-13 11:42:04

You sound very entitled TBH and a bit chippy.

RubyGates Wed 16-Jan-13 11:42:16

I shall now suggest a solution that will cost the average GDP of a samll nation without any comprehension that other posters don't live in the same economic bracket as moi.

RubyGates Wed 16-Jan-13 11:42:43

small. FGS. Small.

AnyFucker Wed 16-Jan-13 11:42:56


Hullygully Wed 16-Jan-13 11:43:10


BumpingFuglies Wed 16-Jan-13 11:43:38

YABU to use bear in your OP.

Poor bear


princesschick Wed 16-Jan-13 11:44:39

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows Wed 16-Jan-13 11:37:04
YAVU. In fact, you shouldn't be allowed


Here's a biscuit for you too everlong. Naice to meet you too. hmm

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:46:36

AnyFucker I asked him if he had any red flags and he said I was bonkers.

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 11:47:18

What's the equivalent of ss for buns? I am going to phone them I am appalled at you mistreatment of buns! They are for eating not throwing, how very dare you!

Fakebook Wed 16-Jan-13 11:47:27

This is a post telling you that if you can't take the flaming then you need to fuck off.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 11:48:56

And this is an Ahem from MNHQ...

grin RubyGates!

Yes OP, just buy a new car, hire a cleaner and go on holiday. That should sort it.

Haven't you got a goat that needs looking after!

Catchingmockingbirds Wed 16-Jan-13 11:51:03

'should of known better than to post here'

Well really you should have known better...

<Sulks back off to Pedant's corner>

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 11:51:26

Yes I hear goats love fruit shoots and Gregg's sausage rolls?

Arf @ Helen grin

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 11:53:29

This is me telling you that If you dont like the responses you are getting, you should fuck off to Netmums!

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:54:02

This is a vicious attack on the OP by a bridge-dweller name-changing for the occasion.

princesschick Wed 16-Jan-13 11:54:24

You give your goats fruitshoots littlemiss?? Eyebrows fly skyward Don't you know fruitshoots are full of sugar and chemicals and will eventually make your goat obese and ill? Do you want your goat to be laughed at by the other goats. Tsk.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:55:11

Oops, sorry CatPuss, should have held off a minute...

DeepRedBetty Wed 16-Jan-13 11:56:38

Have we reached the point where OP admits she was unreasonable and suddenly about twelve million new posters suddenly appear who start telling she was being reasonable in the first place?

RubyGates Wed 16-Jan-13 11:57:16

<hasn't read intervening 13 pages has no clue that problem was solved 8 pages back>

<stirs a bit more>

This is me taking the thread down an unrelated avenue of whimsy.

DeepRedBetty Wed 16-Jan-13 11:58:05

And I start missing vital words from posts, in this case her.

Nowhere near gin o'clock yet blush

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:59:01

ChickensHaveNoMorals it's just all about me me me for some posters.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 11:59:24

Morals Eyebrows

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 12:00:39

This is a conciliatory post offering the OP some support at what is clearly a very difficult time for her. I can't believe the rest of you are being so mean to her! She's been through such a rough time lately with her MIL/OH/DC/fellow-school-mums/random-stranger/cat/dog/pet/ishoos.

Chin up, hun (((((hugs))))) xxx

<fucks off back to Netmums>

So easily confused, OP.

This is me focusing on some totally inane and minor detail of the OP, such as the fact that you own more than one pair of shoes, and making it all about that.

DianaTrent Wed 16-Jan-13 12:01:33

Such a first world problem OP.

<hands op a grip>

Let's just chuck a few hmm faces at the thread.

Oh! Oh!

This is me welcoming the OP to mumsnet and congratulating her on an interesting first post.

Hullygully Wed 16-Jan-13 12:04:09


chickens, wot's this about?

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 12:04:12

This is me adding a very-tenuously-connected example of a slightly-similar thing that happened to me once.

And no further comment or advice.

Do with that what you will ignore me.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 12:06:06

<<shouts>> TROLL!

Shouldn't this be in C***y Corner?

ThingummyBob Wed 16-Jan-13 12:06:37

Back off vipers grin

OP only came here for advice, no need to start on about goats or netmums sad

<<back to question in hand>> OP do you have anyone in rl to talk to about this?

We're writing a bunfight, Hully.

This is a post reiterating something that has already been said several times.

5madthings Wed 16-Jan-13 12:08:42

What the hell?

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:08:50


No. They have defriended me on Facebook.


Still no idea what is going on.


LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:09:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

<<strokes OPs hair>>

You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

Message deleted by Mumsnet for calling the OP a cunt.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 12:11:32

This is me asking a question which I know has already been answered simply because I want to piss everyone off.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 12:12:57

I'm now going the tell the OP she is being U and is obviously trying to hide something because she won't repeat her answers - NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SHOUT AT HER.

<<flounces off>>

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:13:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:13:18

I checked the bun's previous threads you don't want to go there.

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 12:13:45

That's why I don't use Fakebook not true.

Oh, and by the way, you made some spelling or punctuation mistake in your OP and I really feel the need to be a pedant and point it out to you, even though it's going to make you feel like shit. And I'll probably be wrong.

<sits back smugly>

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:13:50

This is me also pointing out that this is the first post under this name

Are you a namechanger, OP?

wriggletto Wed 16-Jan-13 12:14:06

Just looking back at your other threads on this topic, OP, have you actually taken any of the advice you were offered then? And I don't want to be nitpicky, but when you posted about this last week, you said you had a 4x4 and the car you're talking about now only has four wheel drive as an option.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:14:33

I have low self-estim.

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:14:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

This is me having a pop at feminists/dog owners/cat owners/breastfeeders/people on benefits for no real reason, but managing to work it in there.

ThingummyBob Wed 16-Jan-13 12:16:24

This is me defending the OP on her previous choices. You cannot simply bring up old freds Wriggletto

<<links arms with OP and sings ^we shall not be moved^>>

Now I'm going to rock up and make some smug in joke reference to mouldies/cube of poo/pom bears.

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:17:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigStickBIWI Wed 16-Jan-13 12:17:22

Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?

spiderlight Wed 16-Jan-13 12:19:03

Should OF known better? Should OF?

This is me steaming in in my grammar pedant hat after only reading half the first page.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:19:19

This is me getting splinters up my arse from fence-sitting and half defending the OP's credentials, just in case she really isn't a trolly mctroll

Sparklingbrook Wed 16-Jan-13 12:19:45

How the hell would we know. POAS!!

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:20:12

Room for another?


Now I'll say I'm going to hide the thread.

But of course I won't.

Sparklingbrook Wed 16-Jan-13 12:21:11

It's about time the OP went to Flouncers Corner isn't it?

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:21:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:21:23

This is a random item of spam from someone selling handmade spoon-polishers on Etsy.

This is me saying I'm going to report LifeOfPo for bullying me. The bitch.

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 12:23:02

Now you have given us that extra info OP YANBU!

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 12:23:34

She's being a total bridezilla.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:23:39

Just use your tongue.

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:23:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 12:23:53

This is me apologising for posting on the wrong thread.

This is me shaking my head from the moral high ground, and saying that this is MN at its worst.

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:25:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amillionyears Wed 16-Jan-13 12:25:29

I think you should go back to where you came from
[hopes I am getting the idea of this thread]

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 12:26:01

I think you are all mean for not agreeing with the OP even though she is blatantly wrong!

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:26:16

handmade spoon polishers eh?

I once knew someone who specialised in handmade arse lickers. Well, quite a few people actually. Every time they spoke (or posted on MN) you could smell the bullshit.

It was really quite off-putting.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 12:26:57

Has anyone mentioned this yet?

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 12:27:45

I think the OP is the poo troll!

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:27:50

Willy, Willy, Willy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is me using too many exclamation marks.

LifeofPo Wed 16-Jan-13 12:27:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScrambledSmegs Wed 16-Jan-13 12:28:18

This is me derailing the thread by chatting with my mates

<waves at everyone>

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:29:12

This is a post deploring the generally tone-lowering effect of last few PP. Not naice, innit?

princesschick Wed 16-Jan-13 12:29:19

Is Xenia really a real person??? Sorry to take the thread off subject. Again.

ThingummyBob Wed 16-Jan-13 12:29:26

Po grin

Where has the OP gone?? Doesn't she know that its against the rules to post and not check back every 10 seconds to answer every post indiviually.

<changes sides of fence>>

Accuses OP of being a hairy-handed friend. What with all this extra drip fed info shock

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:29:40

Post deleted by MNHQ for being goady and bjtchy to newbies.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:29:52


HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:30:20

Except for ScrambledSmegs, of course always room for a happy camper.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:30:30

Ooooh Mitmooooooooooooooooooooooo. I miss her.

YorkshireDeb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:30:44

I'm going to pick a completely unrelated fight with yabbadabba for making comments I disagree with. But also congratulate her for having an inspirational name. X

ariadneoliver Wed 16-Jan-13 12:31:42

Having not read the whole thread I am going to offer a psychiatric diagnosis of all the main players in the OP on the basis of little information and no actual medical qualifications.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:31:51

Why thankyou Deb. By the way Deb is my real name, so it is impossible for me to argue with a fellow Deb.

Tweasels Wed 16-Jan-13 12:32:27

This wouldn't have happened if you'd worn your baby and breastfed. Don't say we didn't warn you.

DefinitelyNotScrambledSmegs Wed 16-Jan-13 12:32:36

I agree with ScrambledSmegs


Quite frankly, if you don't post all the relevant information at the beginning then you've no right to complain if you don't like the answers you get.

ThingummyBob Wed 16-Jan-13 12:33:49

Princess Xenia is my personal mn fave grin I am in awe of how she manages to look after her private island, what with being soooo busy being superwoman and earning squillions in between posting here wink

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:33:57

Is it you Mitmoo, Ooh that rhymed, er how do you spell rhymed.

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 12:34:12

<inserts link to DM article>

Sorry for the DM link, don't normally read it, obviously! lies, all lies

ScrambledSmegs Wed 16-Jan-13 12:34:15

Gawd, hope I don't get a telling-off for that!

Ooh, good one ariadne.

I'm going to take spectacular offence at the OP for owning more than one pair of shoes. Doesn't she know how fucking lucky she is?! I will now froth a bit.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:34:40

Yabbadabba is the best poster ever.

Oops, sock puppet fail.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 12:35:50

This is the post in which the OP performatively flounces, realising she is late for work the bunfight has taken on a life of its own and nobody is paying any attention to her.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:35:50

Ducks have corkscrew willies, did you know that?

It's true, Google it.

I'm now going to take a completely unreasonable view of the OP's situation and make her in to some kind of super villain, purely because I have full on PMT rage and no unicorns to punch.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:36:55

I shall have a look when i next see a duck, if it is not flying of course as the corkscrew willy could harm me.

Kalisi Wed 16-Jan-13 12:37:03

you're all a bunch of idiotic cunts but I can say that because I have done the following lol smile

SallyCinnamonandNutmeg Wed 16-Jan-13 12:37:03

I think you are all being very judgemental. Why is it any of your business?

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:38:07

Ducks are also gang rapists. angry

I agree with Bran.

This is a snidey post about MN royalty.

YorkshireDeb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:39:32

Actually yabbadabba Deb is just a made up name. And I'm not from Yorkshire. Actually it isn't but I'd rather lie than admit I have the least interesting mn name on here. X

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:39:44

This is it. Once sang by Dannii Minogue.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:39:46

I wonder if female ducks have a corkscrew shape minge?

Oh and male foxes get their willies stuck in the females for hours at a time which is apparently very painful and which is why they make that horrible wailing sound (the male foxes that is, the vixen's couldn't give a shit).

A certain type of toad which lives in graveyards I think, had to glue itself onto the female because it's so fat it would just keep sliding off her if it didn't.

And elephant's willies are fucking enormous.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:40:33

Oh yeah, I forgot about ducks being gang rapists. They so are. David Attenborough knows. Ask him.

SallyCinnamonandNutmeg Wed 16-Jan-13 12:40:48

I'm just off to start a completely different post about the fact that someone in this post has spelt "definite" as "definate" and it really pisses me off.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:41:21

You should have named yourself Yorkshirepud.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:41:59

TheRhubarb - female ducks DO have a corkscrew shaped minge, yes!

OP, YABVU to have started this thread because I need to go to bed and you're keeping me up

YorkshireDeb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:46:13

That is genius yabbadabba. Now I just need to figure out how to name change. X

This had better not be a reverse AIBU - I hate them.

<<gets a bit stabby>>

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:46:25


So the drake really does pop his cork then! Whopper!

I haven't read all the thread but I think YABU and should leave the bastard.

bran Wed 16-Jan-13 12:55:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:55:19

duck sex info

(derails thread)

SallyCinnamonandNutmeg Wed 16-Jan-13 12:55:30

Where has the OP gone?????

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 12:55:51

Oh and now I can REALLY agree with Bran! grin

PootlePosyPerkin Wed 16-Jan-13 12:57:24

If I were you I'd be careful about discussing the private lives of ducks and throwing accusations of gang rape around on a public forum. You will seriously prejudice the case when it comes to Court.

I have reported this thread for the sake of duck justice.

bran Wed 16-Jan-13 12:57:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piprabbit Wed 16-Jan-13 12:57:39

<clutches pearls>
<hoists judgey pants>
<purses lips>

garlicblocks Wed 16-Jan-13 12:58:14

Yes, where HAS the OP gone? Come back immediately and respond to every single point, however inane!

Or did you start this thread just to cause a bunfight? Hmm? hmm

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:58:36

Is a purse like a pout?

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 12:58:45

Duck off pootle (love the name by the way, pootle was my fave flump)

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 12:58:53

"Ducks, especially mallards, are one of the few species of birds in which males will often rape females, in a violent act which can result in injuries or death by drowning. The females fight back by preventing successful fertilisation, said Brennan. In fact, of the 40 per cent of matings which are a result of forced copulations, only around four per cent are successful."


Absy Wed 16-Jan-13 12:58:56

<random chat about home decor>

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 12:59:06

Cream buns with a cherry on.

NaicePig Wed 16-Jan-13 12:59:50

This is the post that makes dark allusions to the fact that the OP's sentence structures bear a suspicious resemblance to those of a banned returnee, and I remember she made a thread once in 2004 which used an almost identical phrase.


hmm hmm hmm hmm

IamtheZombie Wed 16-Jan-13 12:59:56

Zombie is late to the party (as usual).

piprabbit Wed 16-Jan-13 12:59:57

A purse is more cat's arse than trout.


Absy Wed 16-Jan-13 13:00:15

"In fact, of the 40 per cent of matings which are a result of forced copulations, only around four per cent are successful.""

You'd think, if mating in that manner was so unsuccessul they'd give up, and be all nice about it, and woo the female ducks? But NOOO the ducky bastards keep on at it

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:00:19

I think I might have duck for tea tonight

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:00:25

Ducks used to be my favourite animal, although i do enjoy eating them. After this distressing and horrifying information i will no longer list ducks in my top 10 animals.

NaicePig Wed 16-Jan-13 13:01:30

OP, are you OK???

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:01:35

Cat's arses offend me greatly, they are always on show and pink and in your face.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:01:35

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "fuck a duck".

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:02:30

Who pig. Ive only been around since 2009. Is it not Mitmoo then.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:02:35

I am going to speculate that the OP is in fact a male mallard duck.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:03:16

Maybe we are the female ducks then.

sleepsforwimps2010 Wed 16-Jan-13 13:03:20

i have read the thread but will ignore what everyone has said and will talk about something i feel is important, in a long winded fashion with no paragraphs..or clue to what my point might be except that my mils sils dss who's a pregnant single mother of 56 fills her buns with breast milk... formula filled buns, even if just used to throw would be neglect and unless you coslept with them first whilst smoking and drinking in a parent and child space should mean you get reported to ss; whilst leaving the bastard.

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 13:03:30

This is the post wondering if the OP has posted about this exact problem about a zillion times before, and suggesting that she takes the advice we've given already and stops wasting our time.

Oh, and <gavel>

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:03:40

I get the feeling that those arsehole Republican men who think women are able to "deal with" avoiding conception-by-rape were confusing them with female ducks. Makes you wonder what they shag in their spare time, hey.

(Derails thread more, waves at sundry posters)

NaicePig Wed 16-Jan-13 13:04:05

This thread offers to PM everyone with my dark suspicions.

Absy Wed 16-Jan-13 13:04:51

<bangs on about favourite topic despite it having no connection to the thread>

FairyJen Wed 16-Jan-13 13:05:28

Well I have reported every single individual post im one of the po don't you know!

PootlePosyPerkin Wed 16-Jan-13 13:06:37

<hoists bosom in an offended way>

littlemisssunny - I am professionally offended by your post.

I have reported it.

piprabbit Wed 16-Jan-13 13:06:46

This has been done a million times before.
<rolls eyes>

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:07:11

What is the difference between a bun and a bap?

everlong Wed 16-Jan-13 13:09:44


I've been for a lie down and thought this thread would have moved on got better

So what's princesschick got to do with it?

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:11:17

<<reports everlong for shameless goading>>

sleepsforwimps2010 Wed 16-Jan-13 13:11:52

getting your baps one thing, getting your buns out is quite another!

PootlePosyPerkin Wed 16-Jan-13 13:13:22

Why didn't you start this thread on the insert name of any other random topic topic?

You will get more relevant responses.

In other words, piss off.

My eyes hurt from the lack of paragraphs.

Haven't read the thread but YABVVVVVU

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:15:54

<wanders off with a shotgun looking for male ducks>
<opens up shelter for raped female ducks>

Makes self-righteous point

followed by


yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:17:34

Runs around flapping wings. This is quackers.

PoppyAmex Wed 16-Jan-13 13:20:33

This is me saying I stalked PM'd the OP to make sure she was OK and made her give me her mobile number so I can post tidbits of info here

OverlyYappyAlways Wed 16-Jan-13 13:22:42

Honestly some threads are just wrong for so many reasons these days this thread has offended me deeply.
I forgot about bear

and it makes me want to go to the bakers all the time to buy a cream cake. the thread not the bear just stop it please yaabvu imo btw!

I shall now be hiding this thread as it offensive on so many levels. confused

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:25:17

<shoots yabbadabba> got the little ducky bastard!

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:27:21

Falls quacking with legs in the air. Quack, quack qua....................
<dies thinking of female ducks>

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 13:27:27

I'm gunna reply wiv txt spk cos I no u all luv it Hun and shit spelin and no paragrafs or grama

that was really hard to type because of autocorrect

LilMisSuny well ard tryin t do shrt txt wen u av auto corect! Text tlk does me ed in! Cnt undastand it reli. Fink sum txt typas need elp m8

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:32:10

makes some gratuitously offensive comment about people who can't write properly these days <<SIGH>>

<awaits deletion>

PootlePosyPerkin Wed 16-Jan-13 13:33:42

Also, having just read a very long & detailed OP in which someone is pouring their heart out about something dreadful and actually very serious for them I shall see fit to make the following comment as the first post:

One word. Paragraphs.

Because I don't give a shit about anyone else.

piprabbit Wed 16-Jan-13 13:35:06

Are you young OP?

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 13:37:47

thumbwitch is u saying I is fick or sommat? Peraps I shud report u?

DianaTrent Wed 16-Jan-13 13:38:48

Damn you, bran, now I am seriously craving cinnamon scones from a wee café in Holywood, NI, and I am in the wrong fucking country. Couldn't you be more sensitive to emigrants from their native regions with bun withdrawal. Just thoughtless angry.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:38:53

<grabs yabba's corkscrew penis and uses it to open the bottle of Sauvingon Blanc she'll drink with the roast duck later>

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:43:29

<<Taunts littlemisssunny deliberately in a goady sort of way to see how far she'll throw her toys before pressing Report>>

Shit, who mentioned scones? Now I'm wanting one with jam and cream and I have the wherewithall to have one but it's nearly 1am and I need to go to bed, damn you!

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:45:27

Ouch, if i was a bloke that would make me wince, but i aint so carry on. I fancy a bit of roast duck too.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 13:46:58

<links sternly to guidelines>

<swigs gin>

<returns to exploding inbox>

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:48:18

Were talking ducks now, why, have all the naughty male ones complained.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:48:20

<realises she is using a corkscrew shaped minge to open a screwtop>
Ah screw it, just pop yerself into the oven will ya?

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 13:48:21

Many thanks to those who reported this thread to us.

Can we please remind you all of our Talk guidelines ?

Please do bear in mind how difficult this ducking business can be, and if there's one thing all of us could do with, it's some moral support.

SallyCinnamonandNutmeg Wed 16-Jan-13 13:49:05

Can't see the link to guidelines HelenMumsnet

Don't you know how to do links?? It's really very easy.


littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 13:49:11

Helen thumbwitch is pickin on me cos I carnt be arsed to tipe proply it ain't fayre

-right I'm off to have lunch all this talk of buns is making me hungry--

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:50:12

Male ducks are rapists Helen! They are evil. I feel a Mumsnet campaign coming on. "Don't fuck a duck" and "Murder a Mallard Today!"

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 13:50:53

Oi HelenMumsnet - I was going to post here - I told you I would, you trying to make me look stoopid?

<hands on hip>

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:51:02

The ducks are fucked.

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:51:19

I'm mentally disturbed by the images of gang raping male ducks. I need some support <sobs into her roast duck penis>

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:51:19

Oooo, ooo!! She started it, Miss Helen, not me - with her texty stuff!

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:51:52

Ooooh, mumsnet bunfight.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:52:06

Look, MNHQ fight!


littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 13:52:34

<sticks tongue out>

I'm not playing with you anymore thumbwitch you're mean!

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 13:53:18

Now now Rebecca and Helen give me all the gin and go and sit on the norty step!

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 13:53:18


RebeccaMN, did you mean to be so rude?

<eats biscuits>

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:54:13

<<kindly suggests that littlemisssunny would be better placed in Nethuns a different forum and points gently to the Flouncers' Corner>>


Had my scone and jam and cream - indigestion a-go-go.

Shit. I just got batted.

atthewelles Wed 16-Jan-13 13:55:43

OP I think you should try walking a mile in everyone's shoes before you post on here ever again, about anything.

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 13:56:09

Been there thumbwitch if I let you be my friend again please let me stay, don't send me back there sad

plus I like swearing sometimes and don't do tickers

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 13:56:41

fucky fucky fucky little ducky
fucky fucky fucky and then plucky
fucky fucky fucky little ducky
you fucking raping evil little scum!

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:57:00

I have no eyebrows. They are overplucked like a female ducks rear end.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 13:58:16

Their was a male duck,
who liked a lot of fucks,
Rhubarb saw him,
swigged some gin
then shot him and had him for din.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 13:58:46

Ah g'wan then littlemiss - I wouldn't do that to you! no more of your txtspk, though, y'hear?

Where's the OP gone?

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 13:59:41

yy, I did <flounces>

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 14:01:59

What do you mean Chickens?


This is me marking my place like the lazy cah I am

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 14:05:16

Was there an OP? I didn't notice an OP, did you notice an OP yabba?

You fucking with me duck?
Are you fucking with me?
Cause if you're fucking with me I'll turn you pate. Duck.

FairyJen Wed 16-Jan-13 14:05:48

helen are you going to let her talk to you like that? shock

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 14:07:03

OMG now everyone's raping ducks

That is just sick.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 14:07:21

This is the post where I gratuitously call everyone a CUNT just for the sake of it.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 14:07:32

Nope just duck talk on ere.

Run duck, quick.
Here i come with my dick.
Quack, Quack, Run Run,
Let;s go and have some fun
This thread is about a bun,

<gives up, a poet i am not>

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 14:07:49

<hands out tin hats>
<and popcorn>

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 14:09:13

Rhubarb, not if he is a male duck. Now he knows what it feels like.
<smiles smugly and nods slowly>

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 14:09:15

Will no one think of the goats?

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 14:10:41

I hear goats like wine and choc, so if you all send them to me I can feed them!

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 14:11:00

Baa Baa goat,
Where is ya coat,
I left it on a boat
when i ate my oat.

FairyJen Wed 16-Jan-13 14:11:28

Now now rebecca were you thinking of the goats whilst you were goading helen?

Were you? < stern look >

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 16-Jan-13 14:13:14


Now now rebecca were you thinking of the goats whilst you were goading helen?

Were you? < stern look >

Helen, smelen.

[i'm going to get fired]

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 14:14:10

This is me managing to suggest that the OP somehow insulted people on benefits

and then going to bloody bed because it really is time!

FairyJen Wed 16-Jan-13 14:14:30


But the goats!!! shock

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 14:15:23

Nah, she was only goating her.

Don't tell me that goats go in for gang rape too. That would be too much!

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Jan-13 14:16:17

well they are quite horny..

ba-boom tish!

TiggyD Wed 16-Jan-13 14:16:25

Everybody is completely and utterly wrong about everything and to prove my point I'LL WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND USE 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll read the thread now.

This is a post asking for this to go into Classics

(no, really, Classics please?)

DameFanny Wed 16-Jan-13 14:45:38

This is me joining in hours after the party started while wearing a clock of invisibility

DameFanny Wed 16-Jan-13 14:46:31

Oh. Good. Comedy autocorrect. [wince]

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 14:46:42

You should change your name to DuckFanny you wouldn't be invisible then.

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 14:47:10

I want an invisibility cloak but I can never find the shop grin

IamtheZombie Wed 16-Jan-13 14:53:20

Zombie looks at Helen and Rebecca.

Shakes head sadly.

Zombie was afraid we'd drive them over the edge one day...

ICBINEG Wed 16-Jan-13 14:59:39

This is me posting having not read ANY of the thread!

frasersmummy Wed 16-Jan-13 15:06:15

helen and Rebecca have looked at inbox, looked at abiu and decided if you cant beat them join them

THERhubarb Wed 16-Jan-13 15:06:54

I want to shout DUCK FANNY FART very loudly.

I might do that when I go to pick ds up now. I'll just shout it randomly outside the school gates. That'll show 'em.

Bloody pheasant fuckers.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 15:07:15

Cor blimey, who'd have thought it.

<surveys wreckage>

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 15:11:16

Apparently, male ducks can also shed and regrow their tackle ducknetweb.blogspot.co.uk/2010/08/if-you-dont-use-it-you-lose-itducks.html

<<not entirely convinced>>

RubyGates Wed 16-Jan-13 15:13:06

Yes yes, but have we decided what kind of buns yet please?

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 15:15:29

And there's a type of octopus that has a detachable penis that swims off to look for lady octopuses. www.lifeslittlemysteries.com/1188-weird-strange-animal-penises.html

<<spending far too much time thinking about this stuff>>

RubyGates Wed 16-Jan-13 15:15:46

Ducks? Pah!
Chickens can sex-change grin

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 15:29:03

Duck buns with some Hoison sauce.

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 16:28:14

Now I'm telling ICBINEG to rtft before posting.

YorkshireDeb Wed 16-Jan-13 17:00:01

The fight seems to have gone quiet so thought I'd add a vague YABVVU to see if it gets going again. X

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 17:11:04


Zalen Wed 16-Jan-13 17:14:13

Has anyone asked about the t-rex arms yet?

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 17:18:28

I killed the thread, for that i apoligise.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 17:23:51

yabbadabba I thought it was me with the bizarre animal penis links grin

But back to the OP - she still hasn't answered my questions. Is it 'cause I isn't MN royalty?

Magrathea Wed 16-Jan-13 17:26:35

This is me bigging up my own importance by saying I am de-lurking to offer support to the ducks by telling them that most solicitors offer a free half hours advice and they should contact the CAB for benefits advice in a slightly patronising way.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 17:35:34

The ducks are all dead. Rhubarb murdered them.

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 17:40:21

This is someone coming in and telling all the other posters that if the OP was a man, they'd have received a much harsher response.

This is me posting

OP, OP, oooooooohhhh peeeeeee where are you?

Too slowly to notice that the OP in fact came back about 6 posts ago.

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 17:50:13

<comes on thread to talk about something completely irrelevant>

So of you love snow?

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 17:52:05

This is me rejoining the thread several hours later and asking what I've missed because I can't be arsed to read it all.

SallyCinnamonandNutmeg Wed 16-Jan-13 18:23:22

This is me rejoining the thread several hours later to ask "What have I missed then?"

SallyCinnamonandNutmeg Wed 16-Jan-13 18:23:51

This is a post to say "Oops sorry x-posted with Poppy

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 18:31:30

rhubarb murdered the op too as she mistook her for a quaking duck.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 18:34:52

Quacking although I'm sure she was quaking too.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 16-Jan-13 18:37:20

<marks place to see witty reason for deletion>

it's all i have to live for

) . (
(\ /)
\ | /

^ thread now rated 18 due to full frontal nudity

Doingakatereddy Wed 16-Jan-13 18:41:38

Has every naice middle-class mum in Uk taken leave if their senses? Is crack on offer in Sainsburys?

What is going on?!

usualsuspect Wed 16-Jan-13 18:41:41

This is me asking what did I miss and begging for a PM.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 16-Jan-13 18:45:11

Oh, usual, if you get a PM will you please PM me too.

I neeeeed to know about the ducks.

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 18:50:26

Sorry Brian it's gone too far now. usual sleeps with the fishes.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 18:59:03

"usual sleeps with the fishes"

That's a terrible lie ... I have it on very good authority that badgers are more her thing.

yabbadabba Wed 16-Jan-13 18:59:16

Hag your back, why hello. Explain yourself missus.

usualsuspect Wed 16-Jan-13 19:06:02

I don't sleep with fishes,what a load of pollocks

HagofBeare Wed 16-Jan-13 19:10:06

yabbadabbba, it's all about Platonic ideals, innit. Possibly fully realized only when OliviaMumsnet deletes it with one of her witty explanations <hopeful>

Tallalime Wed 16-Jan-13 19:49:55

This is me trying really hard to not give away that me and the last five posters are actually sleeper agents from Fathers for Justice here to undermine mothers by switching their naice ham for horse meat.

and slipping up by dropping my spider man costume out of my bag and going off on a random tangent about how Mumsnet hates menz

littlemisssunny Wed 16-Jan-13 19:52:00

Helen and Rebecca have disappeared do you think they are scrapping in the car park!

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 16-Jan-13 20:18:50

This post is to ask... What about the wasp??? Someone tell me about the wasp!...

<spends all fucking evening reading post hoping for really wierd revelations from op>

<stalks thread every 20 minutes hoping something juicy will happen>

<early hours of the morning gives up and goes to bed. to scared to add to bunfight>

PoppyWearer Wed 16-Jan-13 20:45:48

This is the one where I've started drinking and am not rely paying ate shun to my typing on my iPad anymre but am gng to add a pet among oh.

So thre!


Maryz Wed 16-Jan-13 20:56:35

I haven't RTFT but I would like to ask the op whether he has shaved his hands recently?


And add that his posts on this thread make him sound like an arse.


Maryz Wed 16-Jan-13 20:58:59

I forgot to add a grin.

Just in case someone becomes unreasonably offended by my completely innocuous post.


in case you is all fick

ScrambledSmegs Wed 16-Jan-13 23:03:09

Maryz killed the threa-ead!

<points and laughs>

<truth dawns>


This is a mention of mitmoo that will be deleted within 20 seconds...

Sunnywithshowers Thu 17-Jan-13 00:45:40

What we need right now is TalcandTurnips to do one of her smiley diagrams then we've got the full house smile

IamtheZombie Thu 17-Jan-13 00:49:53

Talc graced this thread with presence earlier, Sunnywithshowers. Scroll back to 18:41:17.

Sunnywithshowers Thu 17-Jan-13 01:13:12

D'oh! <observant>

Maryz Thu 17-Jan-13 08:52:12

We could do with Val's flowery Mitmoo as well

This is me killing the thread again.

ICBINEG Thu 17-Jan-13 09:00:49

This is a post caused by the thread being mentioned in the weekly round up <in advance> saying that I can't believe how first world problem this all is and don't you know how insensitive you are all being?

Hullygully Thu 17-Jan-13 09:08:24

You are all cunts

TitHead Thu 17-Jan-13 09:41:28

This is the post to say how much I have enjoyed the thread. to shamelessly mark place because I'm to scared to add to the bun fight.

TiggyD Thu 17-Jan-13 09:47:29

Have you tried wiping it with a damp cloth and swapping vicars? Says Tiggy who is obviously replying on the wrong thread.

THERhubarb Thu 17-Jan-13 10:53:05

Have you all stopped 'horsing around' yet?

littlemisssunny Thu 17-Jan-13 11:16:27

Thanks hully I've never been called a cunt before grin

I am reading this thread when I should be decluttering my conservatory but I can't get to the heater and have several layers on including scarf and gloves!

littlemisssunny Thu 17-Jan-13 11:17:17

Apparently tesco are accepting Hmv vouchers - horse meat vouchers!

Maryz Thu 17-Jan-13 13:07:23

This is a post marking my place so that I can see what inventive reason mnhq give for deleting it in due course.

THERhubarb Thu 17-Jan-13 13:12:05

Cruelty to ducks.
Unfair on buns.

I don't think I can buy another duck egg ever again now that I know its existence might have been brought about by duck abuse.
You just don't think that those cute little ducklings will one day grow up to become vicious male duck rapists do you?

Fucking ducks.

garlicblocks Thu 17-Jan-13 13:49:14

This post begins "Well, I'm a man" and goes on to explain how you are all Doing It Wrong, in seemingly blissful ignorance of my patronising tone.

Nonetheless, at least two regulars will come along to thank me for providing my Valuable Male Perspective. Which is exactly what I wanted, unless a detachable swimming penis were also available smile

Thumbwitch Thu 17-Jan-13 14:02:04

How much fun could you have from a detachable penis though? I mean, it's not like the nerves are going to be able to remotely send back any sensations, is it?

<<taking this entirely too seriously>>

This is me killing the thread while missing the point completely, and accusing OP of raping goats with ducks on plasma tvs.

MissFenella Thu 17-Jan-13 14:04:48

This is a BOGOFF post that says DH suggests a spa day.

THERhubarb Thu 17-Jan-13 14:51:07

I wish I had a detachable vagina that I could give to dh whilst I rolled over and went back to sleep.

garlicblocks Thu 17-Jan-13 15:18:40

It could be handy if we all had detachable sex organs. Especially if - for Thumb - they stored up all the sensations, to be relayed on re-attachment.

Him [6 hours after coitus]: That was wonderful, darling.
Her: Was it? Mine isn't back yet.
Him: WHAT???! You're out shagging other men while I'm here with you?!

AIBU: DH's penis spent the night in my sister's vagina. He says he didn't know??

Maryz Thu 17-Jan-13 15:48:23

[arf] at garlic.

This is a post thanking the other posters for the male and female perspectives, while taking the side of the gender that most appeals to me today.

I'm pissed off with dh and ds, so any male poster is going to get his sex organs detached

TiggyD Thu 17-Jan-13 15:49:09
THERhubarb Thu 17-Jan-13 15:54:28

So your sex organs would take on a life of their own, soon they would turn to drink and before you know it cocks would be out with the other cocks eyeing up all the walking fannies whilst inconsolable fannies would be sat sobbing on the kerb about how Keith the Cock spent all night chatting up Sandra the Fanny.

Wars would be fought and certain cocks who didn't fit in with other cocks would be discriminated against.

The cocks and fannies would all want equal rights and some would start worshipping the god of cocks whilst others went with the prophet of fannies.

It would all end in tears I tell ya.

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