to be drunk in charge of DC?

(43 Posts)
Flojobunny Mon 14-Jan-13 19:20:56

Maybe I should have put this in lone parent?
There was a time I wouldn't dream of this.
But if you have seen my other thread, maybe you'd understand.
AIBU to drink in sole charge of DD?

KobayashiMaru Mon 14-Jan-13 19:22:09

How drunk? Miserable and proper drunk is not a good idea in charge of a small child.

PickleSarnie Mon 14-Jan-13 19:22:51

There's a difference surely to drinking whilst in charge of children and being drunk.

The former is perfectly reasonable IMO. The latter probably not.

Flojobunny Mon 14-Jan-13 19:24:17

It doesn't take much to get me drunk! And if its vodka or swinging from the ceiling then surely vodka wins right?

Flojobunny Mon 14-Jan-13 19:25:31

Sorry, very crap way of justifying my behaviour. The choice is struggle to cope with reality or drink into oblivion.

I read your thread from earlier in the day flojo, sorry you're going through such an awful time. Do you really think drinking right now is a good idea though? Is there anyone who you can call who can come round and keep you company/help you talk things through? x

LineRunner Mon 14-Jan-13 19:26:48

Drunk and 'to drink' are very different.

Do you want to link to your other thread? Not sure I've seen it.

toomuch2young Mon 14-Jan-13 19:27:09

Can you call anyone in RL?
It sounds you really need a break and some one to talk to?

yes to having a drink, no to getting drunk and ideally with enough money for a taxi should you need to get home or to a hospital in a hurry.

However, if you're having problems dealing with being a lone parent then I doubt very much if having a drink will help the situation. Dealing with 2 DC with a hangover is not fun. They get a grumpy shouty mummy with a hangover. Doesn't sound like much fun for them.

Since having DD I've pretty much stopped drinking. Didn't think it was fair on her. You just have to be a wee bit more inventive when it comes to having a good time.

Opps. Didn't see your second post. I do remember other posts of yours Flojo. Please call the Samaritans now. They will listen.
Did you go and see your GP?

RooneyMara Mon 14-Jan-13 19:30:38

Reality I'm afraid Flo.

Drinking ain't going to help at all. I haven't seen your thread but I am on my own too.

Just don't do it pet

Flojobunny Mon 14-Jan-13 19:30:57

I have no idea how to link! Anyone feel free...
It's in chat "DS has left and gone to live with his dad" words to that effect.

I have DD 4 yo here. Unfortunately no support. Don't get me wrong my dad has been great today.

RooneyMara Mon 14-Jan-13 19:30:59

Talk to us instead?

This is other thread; hope it's ok if I post link OP www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1659135-so-DS-just-left-to-live-with-his-dad?pg=1

RooneyMara Mon 14-Jan-13 19:31:43

ah that sounds truly crap sad

I am so sorry, it's something I dread happening ever

you poor old love x

bedmonster Mon 14-Jan-13 19:32:47

Dp and I have a few drinks over the weekend. Not getting bladdered but definitely wouldn't be able to drive in an emergency. As our dc are youngish, they are usually at home with us and I don't know if we will think differently when they are older and out and about more. But also, they have never needed any emergency dashes to a&e in the middle of the night and have always been in good health so no reason to think we would need to go out.
If one of us goes out, the one at home will still have a few drinks.
We are fairly liberal I suppose. Others wouldn't but we assess our own situations and we have decided we are fairly low risk. Of course they may well be that one time we need to drive, but we have lots of family nearby that would help if need be.
Although I haven't read your other thread so I may not have got the gist of what you were trying to say.

ClippedPhoenix Mon 14-Jan-13 19:34:14

having a few to take the edge off now and again is very allowed in my book but you sound very down Flojo. I have a few wines under stress, yes of course i do but bottles isn't a good idea.

bedmonster Mon 14-Jan-13 19:35:01

Sorry, totally xposted and what ive said probably isn't appropriate or relevant to you.
Sorry things are hard for you right now OP.

AlienReflux Mon 14-Jan-13 19:36:46

it's a worry when you say drink to oblivion yes. what if your daughter needed you? Don't get me wrong,I sympathise, but if your drinking is that bad, you're putting her, and custody if her in danger.

Jomato Mon 14-Jan-13 19:44:00

If your dad has been great today I'm sure he would be now I you called him and told him how bad you are feeling. It sounds like having a drink would turn to being drunk quite quickly and that is just going to make you feel worse. I think ringing the Samaritans would be a good option if you really feel you can't ask for more help from family.

BumpingFuglies Mon 14-Jan-13 19:46:22

Ah, Flo you've had a hell of a time. Have a couple but if you think you won't be able to stop, don't start. The others are right about Samaritans - it can really help x

Flo, I am concerned for you. The clinic you mention on the other thread, is most commonly known for addiction rehab... I have a friend who used to work there, she is a psychiatrist, mainly involved with getting alcoholics dried up.

Alcohol is a depressant as you know, and drinking a lot is not going to do you much good in terms of your feeling of coping. I know today is a shit day for you, but getting drunk in sole charge of your dd is not the answer.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McNewPants2013 Mon 14-Jan-13 19:55:21

I don't think vodka is the key here. I think you may benefit from a nice long soak in the bath and to sit with a nice cup of tea.

In the short term, i think it will be the best for your son to live with his father until you can get some proper help and support.

McNewPants2013 Mon 14-Jan-13 19:57:48

just to add, don't be so hard on yourself xxxxxx

Flojobunny Mon 14-Jan-13 21:08:58

Pure I have no alcohol issues. I can count on one hand the number of times I had one drink in 2012. But I need to get through the night. I'm borderline now but feel like its not enough. I don't think all the vodka in the world will be enough.

squeakytoy Mon 14-Jan-13 21:13:52

If you need to get through the night by getting obliterated on alcohol, take your daughter to her father too first. I can see you are having a rough time, but this is not the way to get it solved is it?

Your daughter is the one you should be putting first tonight. Her brother is not there, so you really cannot possibly think that getting pissed is remotely sensible.

somedayma Mon 14-Jan-13 21:14:26

sad I read your other thread and can't imagine how you feel. Getting hammered would be tempting (I've had a much less shit day than you but still want to reach for the wine) but I don't have kids (that's not an attack on you, just an acknowledgement of how much more difficult this situation is for you) and I know logically getting drunk won't help at all. I hope you feel less hopeless soon. Could your dad come round?

Flojobunny Mon 14-Jan-13 21:20:58

No my dad has done enough for today, he has my mum to look after. I feel guilty enough for putting on him.
squeaky she has no father, just me, else she wouldn't be here and i'd probably be found swinging from the nearest tree.

Peanutbutterfingers Mon 14-Jan-13 21:28:19

Flojo please call Samaritans or mind

I understand completely where you are and the temptation to drink to oblivion. But if you're not used to drinking vodka is going to make you ill. And god forbid worse.

DS needs you to get well. Dd needs you to keep her safe.

You need expert help

You've been very brave, but this is the point you have to decide that things ARE going to get better- and you need to shout and shout and shout for help.

And don't give in to oblivion

We're with you, we're rooting for you, but we can't give you the professional help you need to get well and get DS back with his lovely mum who loves him x

thegreylady Mon 14-Jan-13 22:17:34

Phone someone girl now please for your little girl. She needs you so much and you are her world. Take baby steps and get help. You can do this,just get some help and one day soon you will have your boy back.

OliviaPeacein2013Mumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 14-Jan-13 22:43:15

Hi there Flojobunny
So sorry to read that you are going through this.
Do let us know if you'd like us to move this thread to our mental health topic?
There is a lot of support here on MN and also indeed in RL guide here
Very best to you
MNHQ

splashymcsplash Tue 15-Jan-13 00:09:10

Hugs flojo.

You are in a difficult situation now. Being a single mum is hard. These things will pass though. Right now you are clearly depressed which is stopping you from seeing this. As others have said please try to make contact with Samaritans.

Has your gp referred you for talking therapy? It can be very helpful in your situation. Your gp may also be able to refer you to the crisis resolution team who can provide intensive input. Tell him how bad you are feeling, including what you have told us about contemplating suicide.

Do you have any support from friends or family? Don't be afraid to ask for it.

As others have said, drinking won't make things better. You are taking risks by drinking -both to yourself and dd.

Please take care of yourself.

I know it probably feels like the answer right now but it's not. Alcohol will just make you feel more shitty.

Flojobunny Tue 15-Jan-13 00:21:55

I stopped drinking and fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours.Probably means I'll be wide awake all night and feeling rough by the morning but DD will go to nursery and I will decide how I am going to deal with the mess that is my life.

AlienReflux Tue 15-Jan-13 04:22:38

glad you're hanging in there love. things ARE going to get better, you're going to need strength and support, keep posting we will be here to listen.

Peanutbutterfingers Tue 15-Jan-13 08:40:14

Well done smile

What's your plan for today? What little step are you going to take to move forward?

thegreylady Tue 15-Jan-13 08:48:29

Well done you are taking back control of your situation. We are all here with you and I am sure you will be able to get some rl help too.

Flojobunny Tue 15-Jan-13 13:04:01

I have enrolled on a self esteem and assertiveness course, I am hoping that will help.

thegreylady Tue 15-Jan-13 18:35:20

Well done you smile

YorkshireDeb Tue 15-Jan-13 19:39:28

Fantastic news! You're such a strong person - you should be very proud of yourself. X

freeandhappy Tue 15-Jan-13 19:51:38

Good for you.

Flojobunny Tue 15-Jan-13 22:18:43

Thankyou so much. It took some doing to walk through the front door and ask for help but I only wish I'd done it ages ago now.

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