To have thrown my daughter's recorder out of the bathroom window?

(78 Posts)
freddiefrog Fri 11-Jan-13 20:59:09

It was that, or it got shoved where the sun don't shine.

No one needs to tunelessly blow a recorder while they're in the bath do they? Especially as they've been blowing the bloody thing all day, every day since bloody Christmas.

I may shove the thing up the arse of the comedian who bought it for her

The space hopper is next on my hit list!

I've hidden the top half of DD1's recorder. I like my eardrums.

VinegarDrinker Fri 11-Jan-13 21:02:01

Get her some lessons or a book so it doesn't have to be tuneless noise?

wigglesrock Fri 11-Jan-13 21:02:56

I long for the recorder - my dd1 learns the tin whistle in school - lets just say she's not a natural.

stargirl1701 Fri 11-Jan-13 21:02:59

Ha! Try teaching it with a class of 30.


Fakebook Fri 11-Jan-13 21:03:09

I hid my Dd's harmonica and took the batteries out of her keyboard and "forget" to keep buying new ones.

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 11-Jan-13 21:03:48

YABU, you sound like a brat.

Flobbadobs Fri 11-Jan-13 21:04:38


Hassled Fri 11-Jan-13 21:05:07

I'd rather listen to ten different car alarms going off simultaneously than listen to a badly-played recorder. YANBU.

Badgersnatch Fri 11-Jan-13 21:06:27

Shove the recorder up the spacehopper's arse

freddiefrog Fri 11-Jan-13 21:07:13

I showed her how to play Twinkle Twinkle, but she's not a natural.

She just wants to blow it. Awful racket

VinegarDrinker Fri 11-Jan-13 21:07:49

I take them away if DS is blowing hard so it is shrieky and nasty. If he's blowing gently I just try and ignore and let him play. He understands that and is not yet 2.

VinegarDrinker Fri 11-Jan-13 21:08:50

Get her an ocarina? Hard to make such a racket!

Hassled Fri 11-Jan-13 21:10:18

I'd also rather listen to DH snore constantly between the hours of 1am and 5am than listen to a badly-played recorder. That's how NU you are.

sittinginthesun Fri 11-Jan-13 21:11:27

UABU! I used to play my recorder in the bath when I was 5. I've still got it (several decades later grin)

freddiefrog Fri 11-Jan-13 21:14:14

I honestly could not stand it any more

She thinks she's playing tunes on it, but she's not playing any actual notes so while its Twinkle Twinkle in her head, it's just blowing to the rest of us.

freddiefrog Fri 11-Jan-13 21:16:40

An ocarina looks interesting, it looks quite hard to get a noise out of it.

I'm yearning for the kazoo from last christmas, she never worked out how to get any sound out of it so just filled it up with dribble

SirBoobAlot Fri 11-Jan-13 21:19:11

YABU. What kind of example does that set her?

My younger three learn the recorder but luckily they are all being taught by specialised recorder teachers at music school (who knew that you could study it to degree level?) and it sounds lovely when they play. DS2 can play treble recorder as well as descant and will be starting the clarinet soon.

VinegarDrinker Fri 11-Jan-13 21:29:15

freddiefrog no you just blow, same as a recorder, but you have to blow quite gently! No screeching noise.

WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis Fri 11-Jan-13 21:36:36

I didn't even need to read the rest of your op.


DS1 tried the ocarina but it had different notation so not really useful for learning to read music.

Startail Fri 11-Jan-13 22:03:43

I found a bird shaped whistle and my old useless cheap recorder in the very bottom of my sock draw.
Quietly removed when she wasn't looking

DD2s never asked for them back and they were still there years later when I had a tidy out.

My DDad broke my plastic trumpet in half, it was 6.30 am. He felt guilty and replaced it.

All would have been forgotten if he hadn't used the distinctive stripy tubing to make or swing ball got its base.

Poor chap got teased for years, we threatened to report him to the RSPCTgrin

MolehillAlchemy Fri 11-Jan-13 23:07:16

Ew, the soggy end of a shared wooden recorder at school. I can still smell it. And if you played it too long bits of spittle would drip out of the end.

The only sensible thing is to burn them, obv.

Get her an alto one. Much less painful than descant.

MrsKeithRichards Fri 11-Jan-13 23:20:39

Gold medal to vinegar!

yanbu they are an instrument of nothing other than torture.

babyicebean Fri 11-Jan-13 23:27:23

Come here and listen to my daughter sawing the cat in half under the pretext of violin practice.

Or her sister seeing how much volume she can get out of her saxophone

They can play both instruments reasonably but they seem to delight in torturing me.

Their brother blows the recorder usually hard enough that it is almost silent.

Maryz Fri 11-Jan-13 23:31:58

I have only read the title of your thread.

I have not read your op or any other posts.

And you are definitely NOT being unreasonable.

All recorders should be chucked out the nearest window, especially when played by anyone under the age of 18 [bitter].

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Fri 11-Jan-13 23:42:56

Recorders come straight from hell! YADNBU!

Wallison Fri 11-Jan-13 23:48:03

It's a musical instrument and musical instruments have souls! YABU.

BettySuarez Fri 11-Jan-13 23:48:40

Assuming that this is a lighthearted thread

Then YANBU grin

Alternatively, you could always teach her 'Londons Burning' the 'fire fire' part is particularly moving I find wink

Maryz Fri 11-Jan-13 23:49:55

It is not a musical instrument in the hands of a small child.

It is a very unmusical instrument of torture

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Fri 11-Jan-13 23:50:17

Pound shop stocking filler recorders do NOT have souls! And neither do the people who give them as gifts!

doyouwantfrieswiththat Sat 12-Jan-13 00:01:47

YANBU grin at bathtime you could have shown her how to play it underwater, or in bubble mix....what's she doing with the space hopper to test your sanity?

(I have boys, sooner or later everything gets turned into a weapon)

ripsishere Sat 12-Jan-13 00:26:27

I have not read any responses. YADNBU. My DD had recorder as part of her music curriculum. She was the only child not able to practice. Her recorder lived in the car. It would leave on Tuesdays for lessons and stay the rest of the week in Neptune (DD named the car).
On the rare occasions that she had to practice, a folded up piece of paper down the slanty bit stops the noise.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 12-Jan-13 00:30:20

YADNBU. The recorder was an evil invention to torture parents,
Even played well it still sounds like shit.

VeronicaSpeedwell Sat 12-Jan-13 00:32:22

I really really hope you are my next door neighbour.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sat 12-Jan-13 00:32:50

Ah, the recorder, you've just sent me back years to my school days. I think I'll buy one for my niece, it will annoy the hell out of her parents grin

manicbmc Sat 12-Jan-13 00:33:07

You need to teach her this

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sat 12-Jan-13 00:34:23

manic that's grin

manicbmc Sat 12-Jan-13 00:41:36

I have a friend whose dd can play 2 recorders at the same time. She is prodigiously talented. grin

BettySuarez Sat 12-Jan-13 09:05:51

manic that link is bloody hilarious.

DH is beside me in bed trying to read. He is hmm but I am grin grin

MrsKeithRichards Sat 12-Jan-13 09:24:55

I do remember being seriously pleased with myself when I learnt how to play Jesus Hands are Kind Hands on the recorder through my nose.

I feel your pain...but... I have a 9 year old learning the violin.
I say learning, what I really mean is screeching. Constantly.
Why on earth did I think a musical instrument was a good idea????

And why can't they just learn it at school? Why the actual fuck can't they leave it at school??

Tortoise Sat 12-Jan-13 09:38:06

My DDs are both learning clarinet at school. Unfortunately the dog hates it and howls every time they play them at home.grin

Euphemia Sat 12-Jan-13 09:40:47

Try Amazing Grace on a plastic kazoo at 7.30am. hmm

My mum let me learn the violin as a child, I was bloody awful and i don't know how she put up with me! My recorder playing was positively useful in comparison.

MrsKeithRichards Sat 12-Jan-13 09:45:28

My sister came home with a canter once which is the pipe blow bit from the bagpipes with no bag <technical> It's what you start out on before learning the bagpipes. Thankfully she lost interest!

What an aggressive and over the top way to react. YABU

My twins are learning the recorder at school this year. I've told them the recorders have to live at school <evil cackle>

Tantrums my DD is learning the violin too. What the actual fuck? My ears were bleeding in her last impromptu kitchen concert grin

YANBU - having gone through this 3 times I know the pain! Payback really because I can remember doing the same to my parents grin
Then mine moved on to other things - violins, cornet(!) and flutes. While they eventually became quite proficient the early stages were bit painful on the ears (understatement of the year!)

I don't think they should be allowed to bring home musical instruments until they can actually play something that slightly resembles a tune.
My dog hides under the table when ds2 gets the violin out.

TheSecondComing Sat 12-Jan-13 10:02:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VinegarDrinker Sat 12-Jan-13 10:03:05

They learn to play tunefully a lot quicker if they practice at home though.... Despite the temporary pain it is worth it!

OP, twinkle twinkle is hard for a new recorder player. How about something only using left hand eg merrily we roll along?

Twattybollocks Sat 12-Jan-13 10:14:26

Yanbu, tuneless loud recorder blowing is painful on the ears. I did take a slightly gentler approach of waitin until dd was asleep and hiding it, then Lying through my teeth the following day when she was looking for it.

I'm grin at such a stiff-arsed response from someone called comedycentral grin

BettySuarez Sat 12-Jan-13 21:27:00

Actually, having reread the thread again it seems that you did chuck it out the window.

Did your daughter see you do that? Was she upset?

iwantanafternoonnap Sat 12-Jan-13 21:34:29

I bought my DS a recorder for christmas however, I was working 12.5 hours on Christmas Day so my DS was with my mum and sister and co. I told DS that Auntie would really love it if he plated his recorder for her as much as possible. I still find it funny now grin

iwantanafternoonnap Sat 12-Jan-13 21:34:51

played even

NippyDrips Sat 12-Jan-13 21:37:04

Yabu if you actually did throw it out of the window? But assuming this is light hearted, no Yanbu, the recorder is horrific!
Dd got one recently, we all had a tunless blow and a giggle. Dp picks it up and out comes 3 blind mice. He is a SECRET RECORDER PLAYER!

Proudnscary Sat 12-Jan-13 21:38:15


My dc would piss themselves laughing if I did this!

2rebecca Sat 12-Jan-13 21:42:42

My kids weren't allowed to randomly blow loudly on recorders, any more than they can blow whistles in the house or bang tunelessly on the piano. If they want to play an instrument then they play it supervised by an adult. When they have finished the instrument gets put away (where they can't reach it when young, obviously couldn't put away the piano but they soon learnt random piano bashing isn't worth the grief they get.)
They both play instruments but we still have our eardrums and get on with our neighbours.
It's not the recorder that's the problem, it's her parents letting her blow it unsupervised.

freddiefrog Sat 12-Jan-13 21:51:32

No, she wasn't upset in the slightest. She thought it was funny, she wasn't traumatised by it.

I did chuck it out of the window but I wasn't aggressive. I had had enough of it by then, but we were joking around. It's now hidden in my sock drawer

Ah you need a clavinova, dd1 started lessons in Sept and already plays nice tunes, dd1 and ds 'have a bash' but unless on full volume (usu ds) it is at least in tune if a little 'free jazz' style. Had thought about teaching them recorder so they can play in orchestra, but maybe not!

freddiefrog Sat 12-Jan-13 21:58:56

She's learning the piano and has been having lessons for the last couple of years. She has dyspraxia so while she has fun and enjoys it, her co-ordination makes it difficult for her

The recorder is a cheapy plastic £shop one, even played properly you don't get a proper tune out of it

quoteunquote Sat 12-Jan-13 22:01:45

If it is a plasticy pound shop one then you were definitely NBU. A bad instrument can put them off. Dh has banned cheap toy instruments, which on the one hand is a bit precious, but he reckons that so many kids are put off e.g. Playing guitar because the can't get a good sound, but when it goes out of tune as soon as you look at it, no one can make it sound good. Easy though for him to say as it is his mission to fill our tiny house with musical instruments (1 full sized keyboard, 1 clavinova, 2 bass guitars, 1 guitar, 1 saxophone, 1 recorder as far as I know); he reckons ds will make a great drummer, we're not even going there yet!

VinegarDrinker Sun 13-Jan-13 10:41:42

I think you are married to my DH 3birthdaybunnies! We have a piano, a clavinova, guitar, several ukuleles, an alto sax, clarinet, flute, trumpet, hundreds of recorders, oodles of percussion, a didgeridoo, various djembes, a harmonium, a violin and a harp (tbf the last 2 are mine).

I agree re pound shop recorders btw. Nasty things.

earlymuso Mon 14-Jan-13 09:59:52

I’ve not posted on here before, but as a professional recorder player (no, your eyes are not deceiving you!) I felt I had to chip in. Before I say anymore please, please, please have a listen to this.......


Like most kids I started to play the recorder at the age of seven, but I just never stopped and ended up studying it at The Royal College of Music for four years. I teach so many kids the recorder who, generally through lack of patience from Mum and Dad, are not allowed to practice at home or even take their recorder home. How on earth can you expect children to progress and learn to play an instrument if they are not allowed to actually play it? sad Every instrument has to go through a painful stage so here are a couple of top tips to help set them on the right path.
1 First, scrap the horrific yellow sparkly toy ‘recorder’ from the pound shop. It doesn’t do anyone any favours. It will probably be a quarter tone flat and sound dreadful when played with other recorders. Go and buy a recorder by Aulos, Dolmetsch, Yamaha etc for not much more money, and giving a much more satisfying result.
2 Sat to them ‘anyone can make a horrible noise like that – blowing like that isn’t special or clever. But blowing gently like this make a beautiful sound that is a very clever thing to do’ etc.
3 Try taping over the thumb hole and top hole at the front (making sure they still put their fingers over the tape). This will mean they can play a nice clean B with no squeaks. Producing a good note will encourage them to make more good notes and will also help them cover the next couple of holes. The hardest thing for children with small hands is covering the holes accurately. Taping holes means they don’t have to squeeze so hard and get into nasty habits, and gives them a sense of progress. They don’t stay on forever!
4 Always encourage them to start the note with the tip of the tongue saying ‘too’ or ‘doo’ rather than just blowing a hurricane.
Put these things into practice, and you may end up with some tolerably pleasant sounding notes. If you want your children to play as beautifully as The Royal Wind Music (see link) then you’ve got to let them start somewhere! Enjoy! smile

OldBeanbagz Mon 14-Jan-13 10:06:31

Try listening to 2 DCs and a DH all playing recorder at the same time. That's what i have to put up with!

<still curious about space hopper's sin>

freddiefrog Mon 14-Jan-13 10:50:49

She's just driving me nuts with it

She's obsessed with it, bounces everywhere, leaving it abandoned all over the house so I'm constantly falling over it. The dog has taken a bit of a shine to it and is regularly found attempting to hump it and she's discovered that its an amazing weapon for hitting your sister with.

It's been stashed in the garage now

Chopstheduck Mon 14-Jan-13 11:03:03

that link is beautiful. Recorders get such a bashing. I've never let my squawk on them, and it's a lot more bearable than ds1's horrid violin, though a year in it is getting better.

I used to have a whole collection, 4 different recorders and play them properly, so I hate seeing them badly taught. Only have two now, tenor and soprano, and I teach the kids the soprano when they can be bothered to try to learn it properly.

Ditch the shitty thing and get her a proper one and teach her to have a little respect for it, rather than chucking it out of the window.

TameGaloot Mon 14-Jan-13 11:31:21

I don't mind mine playing theirs. You have to start somewhere and it is a beautiful instrument. I can help mine learn though. A while back I did try to find a teacher for me but couldn't find anyone who is better than me. I'm not that great but i am way above primary school level which is what all the teachers were and its not awful sounding when I play

TameGaloot Mon 14-Jan-13 11:34:46

I'm another instrument collector
Numerous recorders over 4 keys
Fifes, Ocarinas, Whistles, Clarinet, Ukelele' Guitar, Jews harp, Zither, types of drums (bodhran etc)...

We have an electric drum kit too

TameGaloot Mon 14-Jan-13 11:35:42

Early muso
I took ages to type
I would love to hear more about learning the recorder

Chopstheduck Mon 14-Jan-13 12:07:16

I used to have a hoard of instruments, sold most of them though sad

But i have recently acquired a piano grin

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