to find naked people in changing room unnecessary?

(264 Posts)
CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 21:14:57

Such as at the gym and the swimming pool etc.

I'm not talking about women who are comfortable with themselves and can get changed in front of strangers no problem.

I'm referring to the ones who will take leisurely showers, walk around, spend ages getting ready, drying their hair and stand chatting to their friends completely naked.

I know we're all women etc but I just find it unnecessary.

Or maybe I am a prude smile

AnyFucker Thu 10-Jan-13 21:18:04

I am not too keen on the "one foot up on the bench when naked" kind of display that you sometimes see grin

A simple quick dry and get dressed is quite sufficient, although see no need either for the complicated kerfuffle of trunk wrapped in towel trying to get clothes on arms and legs either....

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 21:18:17

YANBU

YABB (you are being British)

I was thinking about this when I was at the gym this week. There was a woman getting into an awful tangle while changing from normal bra into sports bra. What a palaver!

I lived in Germany for many years and there was none of this wrapping a towel around yourself and almost falling over while trying to wrestle your knickers out from under the towel.

whois Thu 10-Jan-13 21:18:21

Prude.

You can't put your jeans on straight after you've moisturised! I do wear pants tho while moisturising.

carabos Thu 10-Jan-13 21:18:41

I've just come back from Switzerland where the village pool had communal changing - and I mean communal as in naked men, women and children all wandering around without a care. I'm afraid I came over all British - it was very off putting. The doctors we were on holiday with thought it was hilarious, but it's alright for them innit? They're used to it.

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 21:19:50

Carabos
I've lived in Germany and Switzerland, and have never seen that before.

That goes Too Far.

kinkyfuckery Thu 10-Jan-13 21:20:56

I think lengthened displays are unnecessary, but wouldn't faff around trying to stay covered up whilst changing. I just whip the clothes off and into the next thing as fast as I can, can't imagine why anyone would need to stand around naked for a while.

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 21:22:05

YABU
It's feels so nice to stroll around naked after a work out and a shower

Fakebook Thu 10-Jan-13 21:22:13

Chatting to friends completely naked? Can't say I've ever done that, nor do I want to! I don't think you're being a prude. I agree, prolonged, chirpy nakedness is unnecessary in changing rooms.

Garnier Thu 10-Jan-13 21:23:08

yanbu it is totally unnecessary. I dont see the point in it.

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 21:23:16

What's wrong with talking to your friends while being nude?

CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 21:23:54

I'm not British btw smile

Like I don't care or notice if the woman standing next to me takes her bra off to change into a sports bra etc.

saycheeeeeese Thu 10-Jan-13 21:24:07

I never know where to put my eyes!!

When we used to go on hols to France as children my brothers and I were agog at all the breasts on display at the beach, our holiday video's all feature a vast array of boobs thanks to my dad

babybarrister Thu 10-Jan-13 21:24:25

DH tells me that in the men's changing rooms it is even worse - they dry their hair or straighten it with ghds naked grin - yes the men's changing area has GHDswink

hermioneweasley Thu 10-Jan-13 21:26:12

I have told this before, but I will say it again...at my local gym I once saw a woman blow drying her pubic hair. She was ruffling it to give it root lift and everything (which I thought was pointless as presumably it would just get mushed down in her pants).

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Thu 10-Jan-13 21:27:39

I saw a woman drying her hair topless with pants and knee boots on. I had to remove myself into a cold shower

itsmineitsmine Thu 10-Jan-13 21:28:10

I'm with you OP!

I used to work somewhere with a gym on sight and there was alwayss one particular lady who used to stroll around naked. Whenever you went in the changing rooms at lunchtime there she would be, wandering around in the buff.

She was one of the HR ladies and every time I had to go and see her about something work related I'd be thinking ' I've seen your (very extensive) bush'.

itsmineitsmine Thu 10-Jan-13 21:28:32

On site

kaiserfootmuff Thu 10-Jan-13 21:28:44

doesn't bother me, would do if i knew someone was gawping at me to post on mn later though!

bodies are just bodies and i can understand blow drying their front gardens if they had been swimming, it's a quick way to warm up yer bits wink

TeaBrick Thu 10-Jan-13 21:29:15

I can't see any of this going on, because I'm in one of the cubicles grin

janelikesjam Thu 10-Jan-13 21:29:40

I just liked the title of OP, made me smile

PandaOnAPushBike Thu 10-Jan-13 21:29:47

I'm very British. I live in Sweden and am still in therapy from my first visit to the swimming pool. shock

kinkyfuckery Thu 10-Jan-13 21:30:21

PretzelTime
What's wrong with talking to your friends while being nude?

No-one said there was anything wrong with it. The OP asked if it was necessary

saycheeeeeese Thu 10-Jan-13 21:31:21

This thread is making me wee myself literally

I change without a towel, and have been known to chase DD across the changing room naked. hmm (not sure that counts as the leisurely stroll you mentioned though!). My reasoning is threefold:

1) We all have the same bodies so why be shy?
2) I want DD and DS to grow up confident in their own bodies and knowing that real women rarely look like the airbrushed models in magazines
3) I can't be arsed to muck around with a towel when I'm trying to dress! grin

Meglet Thu 10-Jan-13 21:31:36

Nooooo! I could never get changed in front of other people! (Fine with partners / children though).

I always wait for a cubicle to be free.

Boomerwang Thu 10-Jan-13 21:32:16

I've seen loads of naked bodies due to my previous profession so I don't get embarrassed but I would still be a bit hmm if someone was clearly flaunting their naked body for the sake of it. Especially if their flappy bits were hanging out

Fakebook Thu 10-Jan-13 21:32:22

What's wrong with talking to your friends while being nude?

Erm I don't know, but talking to someone's boobs or pubic hair isn't my cup of tea.

ErikNorseman Thu 10-Jan-13 21:32:37

In morocco you go to public baths. Heaving with women, all wandering around, sitting, chatting with their boobs out. Most disconcerting at first. But when they take their knickers off they cover their fannies with their hands grin
YANBU by the way, in Britain, nudity is just not cricket.

Hobbitation Thu 10-Jan-13 21:32:38

I don't think you have to get changed under a towel, it's perfectly acceptable to dry yourself off, put your pants and bra on without fuss while standing in one place and people briefly see your bits, then dress the rest of you.

Ameybee Thu 10-Jan-13 21:32:59

Definitely not unreasonable, at our gym there was one older lady who use to put one leg on bench n dry her fanjo with towel shock I mean, seriously its not necessary!

WitchOfEndor Thu 10-Jan-13 21:34:01

babybarrister I did a double take at your post. I had a vision of men straightening their pubes with ghds! grin

Hobbitation Thu 10-Jan-13 21:34:11

But wandering about, drying your hair naked, having a chat is a bit off IMO.

FredFredGeorge Thu 10-Jan-13 21:34:31

Fakebook It's normally polite to look at the face regardless of the clothes.

YABU, it's a single sex place where nakedness is required, no-one is unreasonable to be naked in that situation.

Porkster Thu 10-Jan-13 21:34:41

I am more than happy to strip off at the gym. I hate to see those women who tie themselves in knots trying to change without revealing anything.

But I also hate to see the women who make a point of wandering around naked. I see them all - weighing themselves, moisturising with one leg up (which from my view, as I had the misfortune to walk in to directly behind where she was, showed her entire fanny) and recently, sitting on a stool in knickers only, straightening her hair.

(My dh reckons the men who swan around naked in the men's are always the ones with the tiny willies.)

motherinferior Thu 10-Jan-13 21:34:43

Most of life's greater pleasures are unnecessary, really. No need to come over all utilitarian about a few nipples. IMO.

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 21:37:18

I do like the word 'necessary' in the OP. It is very pearl-clutching-twinset-wearing middle class angsty.

I've probably told this story before, but when I was an aupair in Germany the dad told me that he'd been on a business trip to Canada, and went to the hotel spa. He hopped into the hot tub after relaxing in the sauna, wondering why it was so quiet. Gradually more people came in and as the spa filled up, he realised to his horror that everyone else was wearing bathing suits. And he wasn't.

He had to stay in the hot tub for hours till the spa emptied again and he could make a dash for the changing room.

ivykaty44 Thu 10-Jan-13 21:38:28

the trunk covered in the towel thing - I aways though that was due to them people being different so they cover up or perhaps on their period.

I don't like it when woman on their period put pants on the bench with st's in them that are not clean - it is gross imo

carovioletfizz Thu 10-Jan-13 21:42:17

100% agree, so unnecessary. We were at the pool recently and my 3 year old ended up with some lady's private bits practically in her face. Striding around completely naked is just weird - there is no need for it, have a little dignity and decorum!

Geranium3 Thu 10-Jan-13 21:42:28

I know what you mean OP, they always seem soooooo in love with themselves,preening around and taking absolute ages to moisturise themselves whilst totally naked!!!!

AnyFucker Thu 10-Jan-13 21:44:13

When I was a teenager, a woman removed a tampon from her vagina and replaced it with another in full view of the rest of the changing room.

A.Step.Too.Far.

UptoapointLordCopper Thu 10-Jan-13 21:46:24

Am shortsighted. Can't see much without glasses. Don't care if anyone is naked or not. grin But wish one could just change without all this covering. What is the big deal? We've all got roughly the same type of bits ...

pointythings Thu 10-Jan-13 21:47:54

I've walked to the toilet naked and then back again, but the changing room at our local pool is freezing 365 days a year so I don't run around flaunting my goosebumps. I'm completely unbothered by nudity though, so while I'd agree that it isn't necessary, it is not offensive either and I think you are the one with the problem, OP. But to each their own.

Changing under a towel does make you a prude, though.

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 21:48:06

I like that there are women who are relaxed about their "imperfect" bodies - with wrinkles, imperfect boobs, fat, skinnyness, hair etc - and can stand changing and being nude around other women in a natural setting. It makes me feel more relaxed about my body too.

CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 21:51:33

MmeLindor

I wouldn't say it's " very pearl-clutching-twinset-wearing middle class angst "

I stated quite clearly in the OP that I'm not referring to women who are comfortable changing in front of others. I really would not care if the woman next to me is completely naked.

I just find it unnecessary to parade around completely naked, almost like you want people staring at you.

nokidshere Thu 10-Jan-13 21:53:57

I never see any because I am always in a cubicle - or the loo if no cubicle there! I never change in front of people, or share rooms etc

I have no hangups about my imperfect body though - just all the psoriasis covering it!

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 21:55:27

OK it's not necessary parade around naked. But it's fun I guess grin

thesnootyfox Thu 10-Jan-13 21:58:18

YANBU.

I am so British blush.

I used to have a colleague who incidentally was an HR bod so it's possible that she is the HR lady referred to early in the thread. At our onsite gym she would walk around for ages in the nude, I had to tell her that I could just about cope with her tits but being exposed to her Brazilian whilst discussing performance related pay was a step too far. hmm

Boomerwang Thu 10-Jan-13 21:59:28

AnyFucker

Oh My God.

Fakebook Thu 10-Jan-13 22:01:39

Fakebook It's normally polite to look at the face regardless of the clothes.

So how are you supposed to look at someone's face politely when they have their norks and hairy fannies out?

TeiTetua Thu 10-Jan-13 22:03:06

Naked people in the changing room really are necessary, so you're BU. People who are more blatant about it than they need to be aren't necessary, but then is it necessary to think about it? Perhaps it's BU to store up the memory and ask if you're BU! If you can demonstrate the harm you've suffered then there's something to discuss.

itsmineitsmine Thu 10-Jan-13 22:12:37

Thesnootyfox - my lady definitely didnt have a brazilian!!! She was a duties officer, if thst narrows it down though

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 22:12:50

Charl
Sorry. You misunderstood my sense of humour. Should have added a wink

I'm mocking myself too, cause I'm far from comfortable with it.

thesnootyfox Thu 10-Jan-13 22:18:01

Itsmineitsmine - No not the same person then! My colleague was the first person I knew to get a Brazilian and she whipped off her knickers and asked me what I thought of it! hmm grin

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 22:18:01

Actually. I just reread what I wrote.

I meant the word 'necessary'. It's such a British word, like being 'cross' or finding something 'brilliant' -

Very middle class kind of words. I wasn't calling you middle class pearl clutchy, Charl.

Apologies if it came over that way.

OP, Never go to Finland. I know a few Finns who would regale us with stories of University parties in sauna's, lots of vodka, men and women, no clothes.

maddening Thu 10-Jan-13 22:22:49

Iavb (I am very british smile) you won't see more than my shoulders and legs <v skilled at dressing under a towel>

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 10-Jan-13 22:27:55

Both my nearest swimming pools are "village" changing rooms. Which is twat speak for communal, the good thing about it is they are both pool side so NO ONE goes naked [phew]. My auntie was how you described your OP, I used to hate going swimming with her because after she would shower naked not in the cubical and wander around. In fairness to her my grandparents (god can't believe I'm admitting this) were nudists and she had grown up on nudist camps, my whole family is very NON PRUDISH but this still used to make me cringe YANBU!

alemci Thu 10-Jan-13 22:30:36

would absolutely hate it and want to go in a cubicle. read the thing about the women and the tampax - gross.

YANBU

I would always cover up with a towel even if I had to change in a public changing room. don't want anyone apart from my DH to see my bum.

pointythings Thu 10-Jan-13 22:33:09

Well, when I was at uni in Holland I once took part in a 5 a side football match involving all the university sports clubs - i.e, the fencers (us) fielded a team, so did the basketball players, the cyclists, the track and field people, the karate club and so on.

And the basketball guys (they were an all boys team, we were mixed) dared the girls to let them come in the ladies' showers with us and shower together. We were the last ones in the building, so we took them up.

And it was amazingly natural and not embarrassing. In fact I remember having a discussion about the different types of exam that law students took as compared to archaeology students. We all forgot we were naked (though we did complain about the fluctuating water temperature).

I think it's a cultural thing. And I'm with the Finns on nudity grin.

pointythings Thu 10-Jan-13 22:33:59

However, changing tampons out in the open is just disgusting. Can't think of any of my peers in Holland who would have done that.

theoriginalandbestrookie Thu 10-Jan-13 22:34:11

Actually I find the other end of the spectrum curious as well.

In our gym there are a couple of curtained areas and some people choose to get changed in there rather than in the public area. It seems strange to me to do that when it's all women in the changing rooms, so I guess they must be very prudish or have body ishoos, or yes the ones who do the whole towel dance thing like their boobs are going to be so different to everyone elses.

Mind you I was in Germany with work for a while and decided to go to the spa place. Yup everyone of both sexes were naked and generally over 60. Strangely the spa experience didn't make me feel as relaxed as I had hoped. Mme Lindor that is a wonderful story about the German Dad.

TeiTetua Thu 10-Jan-13 22:36:58

So how are you supposed to look at someone's face politely when they have their norks and hairy fannies out?

Just do it. But was there some suggestion that hairless ones were more embarrassing still? Anyway, just do it.

It's obvious that people have very different attitudes (especially Swiss villagers and drunken Finns) so it's probably better not to get offended by anyone else's way of doing things. Roll eyes and get on with one's own business.

motherinferior Thu 10-Jan-13 22:42:41

I suspect that what you think of as 'parading' they think of as 'just getting on with it'.

Personally, speaking as a respectable middle-aged matron, I rather enjoy the chance of a spot of nakedness with strangers. I don't get out much.

beanandspud Thu 10-Jan-13 22:43:11

I'm generally the one doing a Houdini-style change underneath a towel but I'm not that bothered about those that wander around naked.

There was one lady at the gym that used to do naked stretching after her workout. That was pretty grim to see, and quite difficult to ignore.

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 22:43:29

Finns sounds great. I want to go to Finland and sweat in Saunas now because it's freaking cold here

I know it's tempting to look at naked people if you never see any but it's also possible to force yourself to look at their faces or the floor etc.

IvantaOuiOui Thu 10-Jan-13 22:46:56

I don't mind nudiness on the changing room. But I do find the lady who dries her lettuce with a towel with her leg up on the bench for ten minutes a bit much. Especially if I'm sitting next to her.

TwoFacedCows Thu 10-Jan-13 22:47:33

I am a nudist, yet I do not agree with strolling around aimlessly in a public changing room!

I wound faff around underneath a towel, but do not feel the need to flash my fanjo to everyone in the pool!

being a naturist is different, everyone has the choice to be there and be naked!

treas Thu 10-Jan-13 22:50:11

Just wait until you meet one of your husband's ex girlfriends naked in the swimming changing rooms! Mind you she does have saggy titsgrin

Tryharder Thu 10-Jan-13 22:50:33

Hmm. There was a woman at my gym (back in the day, no time to go to gym now) who used to stroll around naked and encourage her young daughters to do so: "We're all women here". At the time I assumed she was showing off because she had a great body and most of the other women didn't.

I agree with the OP.

Tryharder Thu 10-Jan-13 22:53:19

I once went to a mixed sauna in Germany years ago though. I initially wore my swimming costume but took it off after about 5 minutes as I was the only person among about 50 people who wasn't naked!

It was the unsexiest experience of my life grin

QueenofPlaids Thu 10-Jan-13 22:55:59

YANBU in that no, it's not necessary but I don't really see the problem with it tbh.

That said, I am often the chubby 30-something wandering past piles of younger, thinner women queuing up for cubicles to volunteer to use the communal changing area in shops. I do not and never have given a shit grin

SoleSource Thu 10-Jan-13 22:57:07

In 2001 I was being shown around a Fitness First gym and we went.into tbe changing room. There was naked vroup of women. I did this intake of breath shock thing. Said ooh sorry. They.just laughed. I didn't bat an eyelid after that, nakedness is a common sight in the changing rooms. Couldn't do.it myself.

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 22:57:27

Ivanta
Drying her lettuce?

I have a Saladschleuder for drying my lettuce

skratta Thu 10-Jan-13 22:59:59

Hmm, found this to be quite British a phenomenon. I'm Swedish, completely communal changing, changing without towels etc; on public lakes and beaches. When I first went swimming in the UK it was quite a shock to see the prudishness of everyone. Have to admit though, the US, where I live now, is very similar.

Flojobunny Thu 10-Jan-13 23:03:29

Ah I wanted to ask this.
My DD (4 yo) goes for swimming lessons, same day/time every week and there are always the same 2 older ladies in the shower, naked, chatting away.
Doesn't bother me except there's only 3 showers and the swimming lesson kids all hanging around to use the one.
Anyway a friend on the same lesson, made a complaint to reception last week about the inappropriateness of these women being naked around the children.
I was a bit confused does anyone else think she had a point?

manicinsomniac Thu 10-Jan-13 23:06:13

YANBU, I find it very hard to understand not being embarrassed and uncomfortable by being naked in front of others.

And the thing is, somebody said upthread that we all have the same body but we don't. Some people have amazing bodies and I could never be comfortable being naked around people like that.

I always change under a towel because I have anorexia. I look horrible naked and people stare at me. So to me, for somebody at either end of the weight spectrum (someone who doesn't have a nice body basically) to be comfortable being naked at a gym is weird.

IfNotNowThenWhen Thu 10-Jan-13 23:10:57

I'm weird, because I don't mind other people seeing me naked, but I don't like seeing other people's bits and pieces. I get flustered.
On the other hand, it's probably quite good for kids to see normal looking naked people. My aunt had an unpleasant experience recently when she was in the shower (cubicle) at the swimming pool, and a girl of about 13 accidentally walked in on her and then spent 10 mins saying "errr! Gross! I just saw that old woman naked" and pretending to be sick. Nice.

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:16:02

this is hilarious! it appears i am totally unnecessary then. i shower and nakedly walk to the bench where my stuff is, naked, then i, totally unclothed, dry myself, still nude, i put moisturiser on my nakedness...with one leg up on the bench and no pants on, because i moisturise my naked arse too, then i seat my uncovered derriere on the bench, and bend my naked body forward to towel dry my hair and wrap it in the only towel i take, i then stand my still unclothed body up and put my bra and pants on, then go to the hairdrier to dry my hair, only after that do i dress.

CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 23:16:36

TravelinColour

OP, Never go to Finland. I know a few Finns who would regale us with stories of University parties in sauna's, lots of vodka, men and women, no clothes

I wouldn't say a naked drunk uni party would compare with just an ordinary every day changing room at your local gym to be honest.

And I have been to Finland thanks.

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 23:17:53

IfNot Whoa that's so rude to say when the other person is still presentangry

When I was a teen and saw naked old women at the pool shower it made me reflect on aging instead - we will all, if we are lucky, grow old too and our bodies will change. And we still have to showergrin

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:19:01

and i still walk round naked like that at my parents house too. Also find it quite easy to talk to someone who is naked without looking at their bits - i've seen my dad naked loads and i couldn't tell you anything about his nob, we just don't take any notice.

PretzelTime Thu 10-Jan-13 23:20:14

Remember the thread where a lady was using the hair drier to dry her vagine? I draw the line there.

Flojobunny Thu 10-Jan-13 23:20:15

Spuddy, sitting your naked below on a bench is a bit yakky. Especially since you aren't sitting on your towel as you are wrapping it round your head at this point.

HenryCrun Thu 10-Jan-13 23:21:25

I had a cringeworthy experience as a child. I was on a residential holiday in France and needed a nurse to help me dress - but they took me into the womens' changing room to do it. I had to look at the ceiling the whole time because if I made eye (or anything else) contact with anyone, I'd get bawled out!

Flojobunny Thu 10-Jan-13 23:21:45

Why would you be naked at your parents house?

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:21:50

why? i've just showered so am clean.

Flojobunny Thu 10-Jan-13 23:23:03

Aww Henry how old were you?

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:23:31

when i stay there and get ready/washed/dressed. No one ever closes the bathroom door there. I shower then walk to my parents room to get dressed as that's where my stuff is kept.

HenryCrun Thu 10-Jan-13 23:24:13

Flojo - I think I was eight or nine at the time, possibly ten.

MmeLindor Thu 10-Jan-13 23:24:54

Flojo
Do you use public loos? I'm not one to wander around nude but I don't see the difference between Spuddy's naked arse on a bench or on a toilet seat.

EduCated Thu 10-Jan-13 23:26:45

I once accidentally blow dried someone else's fanjo for them. I was blow dying my hair, looked in te mirror and realised there were some gently wafting pubes just begin my right shoulder...

Flojobunny Thu 10-Jan-13 23:29:33

Lindor I guess you have a point, I just always remember the story about how you can catch STIs from wooden benchs as they can live on the warm wood and it stayed with me!
Henry that's awful, my DS is 7 and I'd think nothing of taking him in with me.

Flojobunny Thu 10-Jan-13 23:30:07

Educated how did you keep a straight face on the mirror!

cantspel Thu 10-Jan-13 23:31:05

see that is the bit i dont get.

You shower so get naked but why do you then feel the need to walk naked across the changing room? Surely if you are showing you take your towel and wrap it around you afterwards?
No one showers at home and then walks naked and dripping to another room/area to get a towel so why do it at a gym?

CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 23:31:53

I dated a guy with red hair once and I asked him if either of his parents had red hair too. He replied no but my mum has ginger pubes ... I was a bit hmm ok ....

Apparently he came from a very naked house.

We lasted about 3 months I think haha.

KristinaM Thu 10-Jan-13 23:33:11

I don't like it. But then I AM a prude. I wanted to give birth with my knickers on, but they wouldn't let me :-(

IfNotNowThenWhen Thu 10-Jan-13 23:34:36

Oh God, I have seen my Dad naked more times than I care to remember. We had no central heating, so after a bath he would get dry and dressed in front of the gas fire in the living room, goolies a-flapping. And I remember lots of times sitting on the toilet talking to my mum while she lay in the bath wearing a facepack, smoking a fag without moving her lips.
Classy, my family!

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:35:27

no, the gym where i go has showers opposite the bench. i would have to take my towel into the cubicle with me, as that is where the hook is, so it would get wet. other women do. they also get dressed then under their wet towel. weird. 4 paces and i'm at the bench with my nice dry towel smile

Feelingood Thu 10-Jan-13 23:36:41

omg thank you yanbu there is this women at my gym who i call labia women as she has lengthrn displays i swear her labia are going to start talking to me

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:38:13

IfNotNow my mum never closes the door on the loo and expects you to continue a full conversation with her across the hall. i still go for a wee if dad's in the bath...in the toilet of course - we aren't that weird grin

HazeltheMcWitch Thu 10-Jan-13 23:39:47

Ach, I'm probably a prude. I don't really care much what other people do - although I'd prefer that if they're naked and leg-up, they don't point at me...

But I will stay covered below bra-line, thanks. I have some extensive scarring, and people really STARE.

kickassangel Thu 10-Jan-13 23:39:52

Here's my issue with nakedness at the gym. I teach in a school where dd is also a student. Near the school is a gym where we go and many other families from the school also go. So if I take my dd swimming with one of her school friends then they are likely to see me naked, or at the very least bits of me. And one day I will be their teacher.

And yes, I have been half way through changing whena student I teach walks in. There are no cubicles

NeopreneMermaid Thu 10-Jan-13 23:40:48

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. The only slightly awkward moment I've had was when my mum took me to her gym and blithly introduced me to a friend in the showers who was completely naked (we were in swimming cossies). I wasn't sure what the etiquette was. Shake hands? Kiss on the cheek? Full-on embrace?

cantspel Thu 10-Jan-13 23:41:37

If the shower is opposite the bench then you are not really walking around the room.

But in many the showers are completely separate to the changing . At our local pool the showers are the other side of the toilets so why would anyone want to walk through the loos dripping wet and naked? But they still do

TheSecondComing Thu 10-Jan-13 23:41:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 10-Jan-13 23:42:06

I get dressed as quickly as possible

not as bad as going to a turkish baths with my ex sil, ok you keep your knickers on but she started to wash me and thought nothing of washing my boobs all the women were washing each other. I came over very British and wrapped my towel around me

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:42:08

oh and Cantspel i do also often walk across the hall to my bedroom to dry myself after i shower. i never dry in the bathroom.

IfNotNowThenWhen Thu 10-Jan-13 23:42:49

shock
spuddybean, how come your families excessive nakedness has made you relaxed about it, and me quite prudey? grin
My sister used to call me The Nun when I was a kid because I would get changed under a towel on the beach!

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:43:22

yes, i wouldn't do that cantspel, more because i would get cold i think.

mrdarceych Thu 10-Jan-13 23:44:21

*If not*Haha!! That was my dad back in the day too!!
Anyway, having just been in Switzerland for past couple of years I was so shocked when I went swimming on a sunday afternoon and fancied a sauna... Well .... I was told its not allowed to wear swimming costume in the sauna!! God!. The british in me came flooding out!!

cantspel Thu 10-Jan-13 23:44:53

that means you leave wet footprints across the carpet.
I paid a lot of money for my carpets i dont want ransom wet footprints on them.

HazeltheMcWitch Thu 10-Jan-13 23:45:54

My friend has a sauna at her office in Switzerland, She's British. They have mixed sessions there, and nope, cossies are not the done thing.

My prudish little brain expoldes that that thought!

Spuddybean Thu 10-Jan-13 23:47:35

well, i wipe my feet on the bath mat and my house is tiny so i don't make it that wet.

ifnot - i've no idea, i just don't care. i'm the same with germs/wee and i use anyone's toothbrush.

bedmonster Thu 10-Jan-13 23:59:22

Oh my god, I am so prudish I dont even take off my wet cossie, just shove my clothes on over the top!
I never really thought of myself as a prude even though DP has told me I have been for years!
My norks are so flappy and saggy, actually, so is my belly, I don't want any of that on public display thankyou very much - it's clear that everyone is having a sneaky peek while they're getting dressed, I would lend a lot of material for a snigger-based thread on here!

BegoniaBampot Fri 11-Jan-13 00:15:28

Doesn't bother me. hate to see folk getting all tangled trying to dress under a towel. Better just to whip it all off and get on with it. The more nudity the better. Did get told off by my mum and sister though for 'showing off' for just getting dressed quickly after swimming.

BunFagFreddie Fri 11-Jan-13 00:29:31

Blow drying pubic hair and giving it a root lift? Seriously hermioneweasley? Most people's pubic efforts are expended on making my bush less bushy surely?

It's all part of life's rich tapestry. grin

BunFagFreddie Fri 11-Jan-13 00:30:03

I mean their bush. I don't have people faffing around my front garden.

BunFagFreddie Fri 11-Jan-13 00:33:04

IfNotNowThenWhen My parents used to walk around the house naked and I went the other way too. I hated it and I still don't approve of wanton nakedness even now, unless it is with DP!

BegoniaBampot Fri 11-Jan-13 01:18:57

Sigh,oh how I miss when we all had those big 70/80's bushes!

BegoniaBampot Fri 11-Jan-13 01:19:50

Though I've still got one, refuse to move with the times and keeps me warm in winter.

MrsMushroom Fri 11-Jan-13 01:59:52

who bleddy moisturizes after a swim at the pool? That's for at home.

LibraryMum8 Fri 11-Jan-13 05:05:13

Yanbu! Somehow they are being stimulated by this!! That alone would make me uncomfortable!

Morloth Fri 11-Jan-13 05:50:37

Meh not necessary, but not any sort of a problem either.

It is a changing room, it is perfectly appropriate to be naked there.

MrsHoarder Fri 11-Jan-13 05:54:02

I moisturise after a swim, my legs go scaly if I don't. I do get my underwear on first though, and have no issue with putting clothes on as soon as I'vefinished.

Lavenderhoney Fri 11-Jan-13 06:07:03

I can't squash into a changing cubicle with 2 dcs and all our stuff. So we get changed in a corner quickly. When we come out, we change quickly and leave.
I don't like all the striding about eithersmile i dont react though, cos of the dc.

When I used to frequent the gym i didn't like the naked ladies doing their hair and make up or slathering themselves with lotion and striding around waiting for it to dry. And I didnt understand the standing chatting whilst naked. Just get dressed and go!

I used to shower and get my pants on at leastsmile before venturing out into it all.

Same for communal changing rooms in shops, though thankfully not so many now existsmile

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 11-Jan-13 06:15:41

PointyThings Changing under a towel does make you a prude, though

Have you ever considered that people might have reasons other than prudishness for not being happy to be seen naked? No? Well, maybe one day you will be unfortunate enough to understand.

Boomerwang Fri 11-Jan-13 08:53:29

Yes, I considered the possibility of people having scars on their body, mastectomies and post birth stretch marks as reasons for wanting to cover up. I wouldn't wish that someone would be 'unfortunate enough to understand' however. That's uncalled for.

Trills Fri 11-Jan-13 09:19:32

I think some of the descriptions on this thread are going to make it hard for me to say what I want to say to the change-under-a-towel-ers, which is we are not looking at you

SpicyPear Fri 11-Jan-13 09:28:00

I have the misfortune of sharing hermioneweasley's experience. Lady naked, wielding the public dryer at her fanjo and giving it a good fluff up. But the worst part was her then grabbing an arse cheek and blasting hot air up her bum to dry her crack. I'd been swimming with a friend and we just stood there like this shock

I'm no prude and don't mind the odd flash, but that was disturbing and made me very wary of gym dryers.

bedmonster Fri 11-Jan-13 10:56:47

Spicy shock

That's totally uncalled for! Why can't people just throw their sodding clothes on over their wet stuff like I do and go home and sort yourselves out in the privacy of your own homes? I don't want to see your fluffy foof and it's pretty hard to avoid when you're dancing around in front of me. Grim.

Spuddybean Fri 11-Jan-13 11:04:18

well the reason i moisturise at the gym and don't rush home is because there is a small baby there and the moment i walk thru the door it is clamped on to me. i get 2 hours at the gym 3 times a week and 30 mins showering/moisturising/blow drying my hair is part of my time to myself.

of course drying your jack and danny and your ringpiece with a hairdrier is totally overstepping the boundaries, but being naked while getting dry seems quite normal. Also i don't drive so waiting outside in this weather with wet hair/not thoroughly dried damp body/clothes is horrible.

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 11-Jan-13 11:05:33

Oh My God Spicy!
I think I would have had to say something about that.Totally uncalled for!
Who does that, even? Does everyone dry their crack at home with the hairdryer?? Is it just me who never does this??

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 11-Jan-13 11:06:24

X post bedmonster, with the "totally uncalled for!" grin

Spuddybean Fri 11-Jan-13 11:23:12

i'm with you IfNot, i have never felt the need to experience the hot air of a hairdryer gufting around my nipsy.

do you remember a thread about a dh who dried his entire body for ages everyday with a hairdryer?! totally bizarre.

Vagaceratops Fri 11-Jan-13 11:27:06

I remember going on a school trip to Germany when I was 11 and all the girls giggling at 2 older German ladies who were having a shower in the communal shower completely naked.

Vagaceratops Fri 11-Jan-13 11:27:34

I loved that thread Spuddy!

bedmonster Fri 11-Jan-13 11:30:14

Well i don't ever moisturise or blow dry so, but spuddy wouldn't you rather take a book and read in the car in peace for half an hour than spend 30 minutes in a gym changing room pampering yourself?

Blu Fri 11-Jan-13 11:31:04

I think a more relaxed, rational, normal attitude to simple nakedness would make it easier for people with a wide divesities of bodies to feel less self conscious.

When I have been on beacjes in Europe, and occasionally in the UK, where no-one wears any clothes, there are elderley people, heavily pregnant women, people with scars, mastectomies, supermodels, kids, thin people, fat people, all kinds of people, just being people.

Ordinary nakedness leaves behind notions of 'attractiveness' and allows people to 'just be'.

Nakedness in changing rooms might not be 'necessary' but I can't see why it should be upsetting or wrong in any way.

" hermioneweasley

I have told this before, but I will say it again...at my local gym I once saw a woman blow drying her pubic hair. She was ruffling it to give it root lift and everything (which I thought was pointless as presumably it would just get mushed down in her pants). hermioneweasley

I have told this before, but I will say it again...at my local gym I once saw a woman blow drying her pubic hair. She was ruffling it to give it root lift and everything (which I thought was pointless as presumably it would just get mushed down in her pants)."

No, I don't think she was ruffling it - I think there was something else entirely going on

You would not like it in Norway either. I went to the local aqua park once. The showers were located in one big room without any cubicles or dividers. It was literally 10 females of various ages standing around showering and washing hair, and rubbing their bodies with soap, 5 on each wall. Then the woman next to me made a wee.
Then her teenage dd on the other side of me decided to not hold in either, and this was the cue her friend opposite me needed to also colour the floor yellow. I literally did not know where to step to avoid the three yellow floods that surrounded me. I was totally grossed out.

But it is worse at the gym, where I feel fat, and the gymbunnies are parading around with their slim waistlines and young pert boobs wagging their tails.

RooneyMara Fri 11-Jan-13 11:38:19

No I can't do it myself...I very rarely go swimming and won't be seen dead in a gym but anyway, if I was in one of those terrible places I'd use a cubicle.

Has anyone mentioned the hairdrying-your-fanny thread from a few years ago?

alemci Fri 11-Jan-13 11:39:07

i don't mind being labelled a prude. If other people want to strip off fine but I am definitely not one of them.

Spuddybean Fri 11-Jan-13 11:40:08

well bedmonster as i said, i can't drive so no car sanctuary smile . But no actually, i have dry itchy skin and long straight hair which needs to be blow dried to look nice. it makes me feel good, and like i am not just boob lady to ds. But i did think just yesterday, i may take a book in future and cut down 10 mins working out to sit in the cafe once dressed wink

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 11-Jan-13 11:51:00

Boomerwang - don't twist what I actually said.

I said Have you ever considered that people might have reasons other than prudishness for not being happy to be seen naked? No? Well, maybe one day you will be unfortunate enough to understand

I wouldn't wish that someone would be 'unfortunate enough to understand' however. That's uncalled for

I didn't hmm

ivykaty44 Fri 11-Jan-13 11:51:30

No one showers at home and then walks naked and dripping to another room/area to get a towel so why do it at a gym?

I dry off in the shower and so am not dripping wet - why then when I have a dry body would I want to put a wet towel around me? I walk back to the bench area with the towel and my wash bag in my hands and proceed to get dressed

and as a note it would surely make more sense to dry of in the shower area so you are not dripping water everywhere from your knees down when you go to the bench area

Ivy, you need a bigger, more fluffy towel! grin

Anonymumous Fri 11-Jan-13 12:59:07

Blimey, I have to go into a cubicle just to change my top. I won't even go in the shower at the gym, because there are no locks on the door! blush

I agree with OP. There was a woman at the gym who was doing the whole prancing-about, look-at-me thing. She was sitting naked on the bench when I went into a cubicle. I got changed, breastfed my baby, sorted all my bags out, came out and she... had just about managed to get a pair of pants on. (Posh lacy look-at-me pants obviously - these people never seem to wear the ancient, greying, plain cotton, weakening-knicker-elastic Mum pants that fill my drawers.)

Not only was I irritated by her obvious preening and smug love of herself but I was aghast at how anyone could take so long just putting a pair of pants on. Doesn't she have anything more interesting to do in her life than sit about in a changing room and very slowly put on a pair of pants? Bloody hell, her life must be dull!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a prude. Prude and proud! smile

ivykaty44 Fri 11-Jan-13 13:01:54

Pure - I only have a little bod - so no need for a bigger towel wink

I saw a woman blow drying her pubes in the changing rooms once........I did find that a bit shock

Nancy66 Fri 11-Jan-13 13:24:12

the 'one leg up on the bench' brigade at the gym are always the ones with the hairiest 1970s muffs and dangling labia

spatchcock Fri 11-Jan-13 13:27:24

It really doesn't bother me, although I'm definitely not a 'let it all hang out' person.

I've lived in a few countries and weirdly enough it wasn't the Brits who I found the most prudish, but the Kiwis. I belonged to two gyms while I was there and at each a huge number of women would put their sports bra on over their normal bra, and then awkwardly take their normal bra off from underneath.

I found it hard not to stare at this spectacle. I had to wonder what they were hiding.

Spuddybean Fri 11-Jan-13 15:24:05

i find putting one leg up on the bench more dignified and discrete for me. i face the wall, back to the room and one leg up, dry, moisturise, turn and sit - so people rarely get a glimpse of fanjo. if i stood legs astride, reaching under to dry you would see more imo.

Thingiebob Fri 11-Jan-13 15:31:46

prolonged, chirpy nakedness I witnessed this at my local pool the other day! Lady changing, her friend calls her and comes over. A conversation ensued 'Haven't seen you in a while' etc. Perfectly normal except they were both naked from waist up. Just unusual.

A few boobs and bums don't bother me, but standing around with it all on display does. I think it is probably jealousy. My norks are not fit for general public display.

atthewelles Fri 11-Jan-13 16:26:48

To each their own. What really annoys me though is when someone from the 'let it all hang out' brigade starts smiling in superior amusement at someone trying to dress discreetly but with a bit of difficulty under a towel. Not everyone is comfortable with their bodies on display so just fuck off and find something else to amuse you.

Lueji Fri 11-Jan-13 16:47:17

Thingie,
did they hug and kiss too? grin

thebody Fri 11-Jan-13 16:52:58

Totally with you op. why does anyone think its acceptable to wander around naked displaying chubby cellulite arses and mangy lady gardens.

Makes me want to Rolf. Also once had a fat arse almost shoved in my face as she bent over to dry her feet. Eeewwwww

The skinny ones are as bad. Yeuk!

PretzelTime Fri 11-Jan-13 17:04:21

It's one thing to be shy/have body issues. To be angry at others who are comfortable being naked in a locker room, and be all gross ew lady parts!!....that just makes me feel sorry for you people <superior, naked smiley>

motherinferior Fri 11-Jan-13 17:12:28

I think there are some profoundly weird attitudes to the female body being displayed on this thread. Normal women are consistently being described in really distasteful terms.

<joins Blu, Pretzel and Spuddy in naked display>

AuntyDiluvian Fri 11-Jan-13 17:13:25

So, I swim 3x a week (smugface) and in the shower afterwards, once I've done my hair, take off my cossie to wash my body off (pasty wobbles and 70s bush notwithstanding - liberated smugface). No fanjo-ruffling or shower-weeing ensues. If there's a cubicle free I'll use it, if not I'll use the open showers. After the shower I wrap in towel, proceed to locker, find cubicle to change in as there's usually one free.

I once did this after an aquaerobazumbacise type class, so the showers were busy, and after I'd finished in the shower I noticed that no-one else had taken off their cossie at any stage, and there was a definite unhappy tension in the room. As I was changing, I heard one lady saying to her friend 'I just rinse off in the showers, me - I'll have a proper shower at home. Plus this way I rinse my costume while it's still on me.' Like she was still trying to process my awfulness.

At the time I was all smugface and give-no-fucks, but now I wonder. Is this unforgivably rude, in a British context? I am a Brit but my grandparents had nudist tendencies so this may be genetic.

thebody Fri 11-Jan-13 17:17:49

It's not just the female body! Personally I am not keen to view any naked body in a public place. Male or female.

Boomerwang Fri 11-Jan-13 17:32:47

Sorry Chipping you're absolutely right, you didn't 'wish' for it.

CarlingBlackMabel Fri 11-Jan-13 17:45:40

"the 'one leg up on the bench' brigade at the gym are always the ones with the hairiest 1970s muffs and dangling labia"

And perhaps comments like that are exactly why people need to feel that their bodies are OK whatever they look like. Talk about women sabotaging each other.

Spuddybean Fri 11-Jan-13 17:46:58

my gym has no changing cubicles, but if i see someone struggling under a towel i turn away, i find their discomfort makes me feel just as uncomfortable as my nudity probably does them

Once a woman came in with her children (1 boys and 2 girls, all 3 under 7 i'd say) and she kept shouting at them to keep their eyes closed. She was being really aggressive, shoved them up against the wall and screamed if they moved. She gave me and the other 2 changers murderous looks. It was the only time i've ever got dressed while being soaking wet in about 5 seconds flat. I felt so sorry for them. I dread to think what body ishoos they are going to have when they get older.

Nancy66 Fri 11-Jan-13 18:00:04

it's nothing to do with sabotaging other women.

There is a certain sort of woman who seems to want to parade and display. I don't care if people want to change underneath a towel or strip off in full view but there are, undoubtedly, those who really eek out the amount of time they need to be naked and are very 'in yer face' with their bits.

I don't want a strange fanny in my face any more than I want a strange pair of bollocks.

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 11-Jan-13 18:04:14

I agree with that motherinferior. I am a bit prudey, but I don't find women's bodies disgusting. In fact I find it quite reassuring that other women have chubby arses like I do!
Other people's nudity can be a bit alarming to me some, I think because your own body is so familiar, and theirs is very "other".
Although I am not flustered and embarrassed by naked men. Why is this??
Maybe I have just seen a lot more naked men.

MadBusLady Fri 11-Jan-13 18:20:39

YANBU. I am happy to strip off without towels or cubicles, but there's no need to make a bloody performance out of it.

There is a woman at the gym who gets undressed and then walks around striking up conversations - with strangers, not friends as far as I can tell.

Basically she wants a medal for being all liberal and well adjusted, and to test everybody else's level of same.

motherinferior Fri 11-Jan-13 18:24:43

I really doubt they're getting some sort of a thrill out of it. Although the collective fascination-horror about 'ladybits' and 'dangling labia' is beginning to make me suspect you're all really suppressing crazed sexual desires...

Vagaceratops Fri 11-Jan-13 19:07:13

Last time I went swimming there was a woman shaving in the shower.

BunFagFreddie Fri 11-Jan-13 19:09:01

There is a woman at the gym who gets undressed and then walks around striking up conversations - with strangers, not friends as far as I can tell.

Is this a female version or cottaging? Keep an eye out for glory holes. grin

pointythings Fri 11-Jan-13 19:10:46

Chipping I would absolutely understand someone with skin conditions, unusual scarring etc. feeling self-conscious. But I wish women in general would feel a bit more confident about their bodies and the way nature made them. We could all do with being a bit kinder to one another - I'm looking at those of you who are using the word 'minge' in a derogatory way here, and those who are commenting on 'dangling labia'. Women are the worst for putting each other down.

Thingiebob Fri 11-Jan-13 21:42:46

You are right Pointy
Women are pretty nasty to one another.

One of the reason's I am not confident with stripping off naked is because I am wobbly and unfit. I also have a seventies bush. I know I would be judged by others.

LurcioLovesFrankie Fri 11-Jan-13 21:52:31

"I suspect that what you think of as 'parading' they think of as 'just getting on with it'. Personally, speaking as a respectable middle-aged matron, I rather enjoy the chance of a spot of nakedness with strangers. I don't get out much. "

MotherInferior - are you my long lost twin? (Though I may have to draw the line at "respectable").

TeiTetua Fri 11-Jan-13 22:08:58

There are some people who will never be seen naked because whatever else they wear, they won't take off their judgey pants.

Startail Fri 11-Jan-13 22:19:10

Doesn't bother me
A) We all did this at uni because we had to pay our own gas bills. Some idiot only put baths in our flats. Avoid ing increasing the hot water bill was good.

B) I'm so sodding short sighted that between taking off my prescription googles and sticking on my specs the changing room could be full of handsome men and I wouldn't notice.

Cerealqueen Fri 11-Jan-13 22:24:34

OP, are you Victoria Coren? She nominated this very issue for room 101 earlier tonight!

MooncupGoddess Fri 11-Jan-13 22:27:58

I don't have a problem seeing random women naked in the pool changing room, or with them seeing me... but when I go swimming with friends we always engage in the most ridiculous contortions to avoid seeing each other in the altogether grin

motherinferior Sat 12-Jan-13 00:05:41

LLF - I suspect, with dread , that respectability has waylaid me along with middle age. The nuclear family and the NT sticker on the car.

scrumpkin Sat 12-Jan-13 00:15:11

Cerealqueen I thought the exact same thing!

13Iggis Sat 12-Jan-13 00:26:01

Are we supposed to go in for labia-trimming now too?
I don't even shower at gym to avoid all this!

WorraLiberty Sat 12-Jan-13 00:33:52

Did anyone see Room 101 tonight?

Some woman (can't remember her name) wanted to send naked people who strut around changing rooms into room 101 shock

SoleSource Sat 12-Jan-13 00:45:33

Victoria.

seeker Sat 12-Jan-13 00:54:06

God, who needs men when women can dispise each other like this?

Morloth Sat 12-Jan-13 00:56:18

It is pretty bad isn't it?

Between this thread and the one about make up is paints a pretty awful picture of the pressure women are under.

Morloth Sat 12-Jan-13 00:58:28

I don't remove body hair, I have sagging skin from weightloss and stretch marks from pregnancy/weight gain.

And my body is just fine. I don't spend any time at all trying to cover it up when I am getting changed in the change room.

Have a shower, get dried off, get dressed - I will be naked for some of that. It is a changing room, I get changed there. Not seeing the problem.

Thank God I don't have daughters is all I can say.

Hobbitation Sat 12-Jan-13 06:23:57

I don't agree with the bitchy comments about what should be on display and what shouldn't.

Personally I wish everyone was confident enough not to cover up with a towel, regardless of what their body looks like.

But there is quietly getting dried & changed without covering up, which is fine, then there is doing it in an antisocial way by invading others' personal space etc. I just don't want anyone else's fanny too close to me, or persistently in my eye line, whether it's Beyonce or Anne Widdicombe smile

Hobbitation Sat 12-Jan-13 06:32:45

And the OP's first post still stands to me, YANBU. there is one woman at my daughter's swimming class who every week comes and takes up a non existent 'space' next to us and I end up with her minge at eye level about 6 inches away as I sit helping DD2 with her cossie blush

seeker Sat 12-Jan-13 10:43:54

I did wonder why my teenage daughter and her friends won't even get changed in front of each other, and always queue for cubicles in shops even if there is a communal changing area. Now I know.

Bloody hell, it's as if feminism never happened!

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 12-Jan-13 11:16:14

Can I just say, that contrary to what some might believe, labia are not generally flat against the body and do sort of hang down a bit.
Thats is what labia are supposed to do.
Just thought I would mention that, in case anyone is worrying that their labia is too, er, dangly.
It's fine, so is mine.
Carry on.

Vagaceratops Sat 12-Jan-13 12:50:27

I wonder if men have this issue?

alemci Sat 12-Jan-13 12:56:51

I think it is different in a changing room as you are not usually removing your knickers. Also there doesn't seem to be communal changing rooms in shops in the way there used to in the 80's.

I don't want anyone else seeing me trying clothes on either as I know what suits me and what doesn't.

I don't think it is to do with feminism. Perhaps modesty. Is it such a bad thing.

theodorakisses Sat 12-Jan-13 13:03:50

To the boob swinging gym lady of Wimborne, feel free to cover up, it used to put me off my breakfast. It's one thing just not being shy and quite another being a swingy boobed barmpot who is getting immense satisfaction from her exhibitionism even though she will have someone's eye out one day. Yuck.

theodorakisses Sat 12-Jan-13 13:05:42

In my extensive experience of gym show offs (Wimborne again), I can report a 100% non shaving trend. I wonder if only shy people wax or shave?

Hobbitation Sat 12-Jan-13 13:15:34

Don't worry, I'd have waited for a cubicle as well as a younger teenager. Put off by communal changing/showers at school [shudder] 17+ I didn't mind getting my bits out (within reason as I said earlier).

Everyone hated communal changing in shops though right? And some shops still have hideous mirrors/lighting. Still remember being mortified in Next by apparently having loads of cellulite/fat on my thighs which I'd never seen in any other light! And that was ten years ago, wouldn't like them to be open to such scrutiny now.

Hobbitation Sat 12-Jan-13 13:19:12

I wonder if men have this issue?

I imagine they at least give each other some personal space and stick some pants and kecks on at the earliest opportunity. When they've finished slyly comparing nob size. Unless they are on some kind of competitive sports team, then all the back slapping/towel hitting/communal showering/bathing is all part of the male bonding experience.

shotofexpresso Sat 12-Jan-13 13:23:16

I totally agree OP!

I can live with people getting changed but the the flapping around, bending over...argh! my eyes!

And its always older people shudder bare in mind I'm only early 20's myself its always a sight for sore eyes.

I've never come across a communal changing room in a shop and only ever once at a swimming pool. If I had realised before then I wouldn't have gone. All other pools have only had cubicles and people leave their cossies on to shower. The only gym I've been to was in a leisure centre so the only showers were the ones by the pool. No nakedness on display, again I wouldn't have gone back if that was the case.

Maybe Cornwall is different in that way, I was shocked to read on here that schools expected pupils to shower naked after PE. We only ever had showers after swimming and that was with cossies on. Everyone then tried really hard to get dressed under a towel so nobody could see.

motherinferior Sat 12-Jan-13 13:54:47

O no - not older people! How very terrible of them to have aged bodies on display all imperfect and wrinkly and saggy - and not to rush immediately into concealment!

I repeat - I really think you are projecting this idea of 'flaunting'. They are just naked in an unbotheredly naked fashion.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 12-Jan-13 14:10:10

Ew! Older people! Gross!

That's it. I am totally getting out my bush, complete with big flapping labia, my cellulite, my slightly wrinkled tum and the black hairs that are, for some reason, beginning to grow behind my knees shock next time I go swimming, and I am going to parade around just to frighten the young people.

Bwahahaha! Such fun!

SpicyPear Sat 12-Jan-13 14:16:57

I'm generally of the sort that doesn't parade around or undertake contortionism to avoid showing a nip, but this thread is actually making me want to strut around and flash my labia in feminist solidarity.

seeker Sat 12-Jan-13 14:19:57

There aren't older people who go swimming are there? How disgusting. I stopped going at 35 because I knew my aging body might upset the younger ones . I thought everyone did the same. It's only polite after all.

seeker Sat 12-Jan-13 14:28:48

And did someone say they had pubic hair? Surely not!

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 12-Jan-13 14:29:22

<links arms with nekkid Spicy>

theodorakisses Sat 12-Jan-13 15:13:43

I don't mind age but there is an old man with a waist length beard that makes me nauseas. I can't stop thinking about the bits of boiled egg and spinach that may have been living in it for weeks and are now in the water.

higgle Sat 12-Jan-13 15:18:55

Another warning about northern countries - If you go swimming in icleand you have to shower naked before you get in the pool and there are diagrams to show the bits you have to vigorously soap in advance. It was a bit of a surprise for me!

motherinferior Sat 12-Jan-13 15:23:32

I swim with a number of very old people indeed - for some reason the 7am shift is predominantly occupied by Codgers. Frankly I am more in awe of people in their 80s and 90s (and while they look a good 10 years younger that still means they are pretty darn old-looking) who swim several times a week than horrified by their physiques (and see the 10 year proviso above in any case). If they wanted to dance a naked can-can they'd be welcome to it IMO.

BalloonSlayer Sat 12-Jan-13 16:14:16

The most shocking thing for me about this thread is the revelation that men straighten their hair. Really?? I mean, men in their 30s or over? Men with ordinary normal blokey haircuts?

MooncupGoddess Sat 12-Jan-13 16:23:22

Ah yes - the Icelandic showers with compulsory public nudity and minge soaping. Some of the posters on this thread would have to be taken away in an ambulance.

SpicyPear Sat 12-Jan-13 17:11:36

Nekkid conga ifnotnow?

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 12-Jan-13 21:26:05

Yep Spicy. With high kicks a -go-go.

PretzelTime Sat 12-Jan-13 21:28:23

I hope your both old, saggy and hairy for best effect.

JazzyTheSnowman Sat 12-Jan-13 22:55:13

YANBU - I would say "there's a time and a place", but so far the only place I can think of is at a nudist colony!

It isn't that I'm ashamed of my body, it's that I don't know how everyone in the room is going to feel about me casually strolling along in the changing room with my buttcheeks sashaying from side to side and my conkers dangling like spaniel's ears.

It isn't that I make a big show of privacy either though. I've seen a group of women who erected a four-walled towel-booth for each of them to change in, but they were all screaming "DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK!" and fannying about with it.

Conversely, I've witnessed a large, yet very nubile, woman wearing nothing but bizarre knee-socks, with her leg up on the counter like a ballerina...blowdrying her hirsute bush!!!! I mean, come on! No-one wants to see that! And you could tell she was enjoying it too

Anyway, point is - YANBU. Just British!

JazzyTheSnowman Sat 12-Jan-13 22:55:54

I'm sorry, "conkers" should really be "knockers" in that previous post...

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 12-Jan-13 23:35:40

Well, I am older than early 20's pretzel, although I think I am gorge, personally, wobbly arse, hairy minge an'all. Coming soon at a leisure centre near you....

seeker Sun 13-Jan-13 00:30:18

"YANBU - I would say "there's a time and a place", but so far the only place I can think of is at a nudist colony!"

I actually can't imagine a more appropriate time and place then a woman's changing room!

And bloody hell, this woman who blow dries her pubic hair gets about a bit! I'm amazed that in 30 years using changing rooms at least once a week in lots of different places I've never met her.

PretzelTime Sun 13-Jan-13 00:36:27

Judging by this thread you'd think the female brittish population consist only of uber prudes and exhibitionist fanjo blowdrierers. And in the locker room...they clash.

BegoniaBampot Sun 13-Jan-13 00:47:07

You know until a few years ago (probably before I found mumsnet) I never thought that I was maybe weird and unusual for having a old fashioned hairy bush or labia that might scare folk. It honestly never, ever crossed my mind. Few years later and I could almost get quite paranoid (especially if I was out there single and looking at dating again). Makes me really feel for our young females who are growing up with this kind of pressure.

likeatonneofbricks Sun 13-Jan-13 00:57:30

YANBU - and it's NOT just British attitude, it's also for those of us who are shy or just aesthetically-minded, i.e. would not want to look at people's genitals <cringe>, there are nicer things to look at!

changing without a towel is fine imo, but parading or raising legs - yuk, have considertaion that others may find it unpleasant.

Haha love this thread - I normally cycle to work and we have a female changing room to get washed and ready in but what I never understood though is that each shower cubicle has space in front of it to dry off and get dressed in before coming out into the communal areas but I have seen plenty of naked ladies roaming about - some of them I have had to work or work with regularly blush.

Thankfully I live only 10min walk from my gym so after my workout I just grab my stuff walk home and shower in comfort grin

SpicyPear Sun 13-Jan-13 09:50:15

Well I'm 30 pretzel so not sure if that makes me offcially past it for gym nekkidness purposes, but I am very wobbly, sometimes hairy and have a scar. I still draw the line at blow drying fanjo or arse crack though. I wonder if these people (or maybe it is all the same one) do it at home?

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 13-Jan-13 09:52:34

I know what you mean about the young girls Begonia. I don't recall ever giving my muff a second thought as a teenager.
I wouldn't worry about men though. I am single and dating, and ime men couldn't give a monkeys what your flaps look like. The first time I copped off with a man post ds I haltingly explained that I did have some <gasp> scarring. He stopped for about 5 seconds looking slightly bemused, said "yeah, lots of women have those. Does it cause problems with having sex?"
"Oh no" says I
"Great" he said simultaneously flinging my knickers over his shoulder.

OK, I might have slightly embellished that....(only slightly).

My point is, that men really don't care too much about whether one of your flaps hangs a bit lower than the other, or if you have pubes.

Lavenderhoney Sun 13-Jan-13 10:01:16

I was at a fashion show once and was wandering about when a very very handsome male model walked towards me wearing not but see though pants, like clingfilm round his bits. He was shaved too.

I stopped being all cool and did a double take, turned and ransmile he laughed so much, I could hear him giggling.

Spuddybean Sun 13-Jan-13 10:11:12

Right i'm off to the gym today just to wander round in my birthday suit - i'm not even going to bother exercising, just spend my 2 hours in the buff exposing my 36 yo, post baby, saggy, stretch marked, one boob way bigger than the other, cellulited body with extra dangly labia.

On that note, slightly disagreeing with IfNot (sorry smile not all men don't care - just the nice normal ones) when i was pregnant all my friends; mainly male and a couple of women, assumed i would automatically have a c-section (they also thought they were optional) just to avoid having what one charmingly described as a 'squashed hedgehog' and another 'wind chimes'. All in their 30's by the way. According to those guys they do care. One, unsurprisingly single one, looked like he was going to vomit.

I was going to have sex with one bloke once and when he put his hand down my pants and felt hair, snatched it back and said, 'it's weird you don't shave your fanny' and suggested i keep my pants on and give him a blow job instead. Suffice to say he did NOT get a blow job!

seeker Sun 13-Jan-13 10:17:23

A) the blow drying the pubic hair thing is an urban myth.
B) you would have to be lying on the floor looking up as she stepped over you to see a naked woman's genitals. Which would be weird.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 13-Jan-13 10:18:40

Spuddy! shock you are hanging with the wrong crowd!
Like I said though men don't care(or notice actually). Closet case boys probably do.
I honestly never even know that a) giving birth was supposed to give you "wind chimes" or that any man would react that way about pubes.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 13-Jan-13 10:21:02

I am actually looking down my pants to see if mine looks like a squashed hedghog now...

SpicyPear Sun 13-Jan-13 10:26:27

No no seeker I have actually seen someone do it in the flesh. And arse crack. Central London leisure centre circa 2002.

Spuddybean Sun 13-Jan-13 10:26:46

Ha! IfNot - Since having DS i have extensive damage and go to fanny physio. She said to me the other day 'when you look at yourself with a mirror' I thought 'Umm what do you mean when ? I have never thought i'd see (or cared) what i look like from underneath. Not that i mind - it just has never occurred to me. How i feel is different tho.

Our local pool has been refurbished and the changing area is now mixed sex, but with individual cubicals. However, the showers are open to all, and I have seen people wandering around naked.

Pre refurb, there were several women at the early morning sessions who would shower naked, immediately prior to the children coming in from schools for lessons.

I have no problem being naked, but I always made sure to hurry up on the days I knew that children from my DS's school were coming in for the first lessons. grin Didn't want to chance someone taking the mick out of DS.

To be utterly honest, I had a bad night's sleep with a headache (no drink involved). And when I saw the comments about GHDs in the men's changing rooms, my first thought was "I didn't realise men straightened the hair round their privates............" grin

I need more coffee.

Labradorlover Sun 13-Jan-13 14:24:46

They don't put chlorine in the pools in Iceland and the diagrams are for the dirty foreigners.....
I loved the pools in Iceland...no shoes in the changing rooms, seperate showering, changing and drying parts = clean floors and dry clothes.
Loved the Blue Lagoon tourist trap purely for seeing the horror on the faces of some of the Brits and Americans, when they realised they couldn't skip the naked shower ( have attendents to check ). I contributed to the fango displays by bending forward to give my small DD a row with some outraged Americans behind me grin.

kickassangel Sun 13-Jan-13 14:39:03

Changing with dd recently, she said 'it's a good thing that boys aren't allowed in here, you know, because of the general disgustingness'

Turns out that the disgustingness wasn't the boys, but ME, with my huge tummy and hairy bush.

CarlingBlackMabel Sun 13-Jan-13 16:07:45

sad

TeiTetua Sun 13-Jan-13 18:41:51

it's a good thing that boys aren't allowed in here, you know, because of the general disgustingness

Maybe girls shouldn't be allowed either.

seeker Sun 13-Jan-13 19:04:13

Kickass- I hope you put your dd very firmly in her place.....

MrsRajKoothrappali Sun 13-Jan-13 19:08:50

JazzyTheSnowman here - have namechanged!

It's really not an Urban Myth, or at least not the one I know of. She was in Cardiff International Pool last summer, in the middle of the last week of August and the place was packed, so I'm really not exaggerating!

mummysmellsofsick Sun 13-Jan-13 19:19:19

My gym used to have a sign up near the hair dryers 'these dryers are for head hair only' grin

Some people do like to parade naked I know what you mean op. I never minded (when I used to go to the gym pre dc) although I always changed pretty fast.

determinedma Sun 13-Jan-13 19:39:31

OK with the changing room stuff but still recovering from spuddy going for a pee while her dad is in the bath!

kickassangel Sun 13-Jan-13 20:02:13

dd was told that all bodies are beautiful, even hers.

then i pointed out that she too will grow a bush

Bubblegum78 Sun 13-Jan-13 20:06:29

I totally agree, all this prolonged preening in the buff does my head in!

Although I may not say that if I was standing in the men's changing room. *winks"

Overcooked Sun 13-Jan-13 20:14:28

Also 'flossing' for prolonged periods with the towel, not needed.

seeker Sun 13-Jan-13 21:58:46

Which does rather beg the question- why are you watching?

asheepatthewheel Sun 13-Jan-13 22:13:11

My naked body is far too ugly to inflict on anyone. After two c-sections and a twin pregnancy I have a "pendulous abdomen" as my midwife charmingly called it.

Why would I subject people to that? I don't mind others being naked at all and if my body was normal I'd be ok with it.

2rebecca Sun 13-Jan-13 22:28:14

I usually dry myself in communal changing rooms not the shower at my gym because the cubicle is small and contains lots of water vapour. I keep my towel outside (but do have a small swim towel I take in with me that gets rid of most of the dampness). It's faster to get dried away from the water vapour.
I don't think I put one foot on the bench when drying myself but haven't given it that much thought. I usually put underwear on quickly and am more casual about other clothes. I'll often dry my hair in underwear as otherwise my clothes get covered in hairs as I moult alot. I never pay much attention to what other people are doing.
I only blow dry my bush at home..a handy technique I started after childbirth when towelling down there was too sore.

BumBiscuits Sun 13-Jan-13 23:00:38

I dry then moisturise foot up on bench in the communal changing room. I probably do it more quickly than when at home. I can't be arsed bothered with trying to hide my bits with a towel.

I don't pay attention to what anyone else is doing. I thought, but reading this I'm probably wrong, that no-one was paying attention to me.

It's polite in changing rooms not to gawp at others using it, I like to think.

floppybunnyears Sun 13-Jan-13 23:05:29

I hate the one leg on the bench thing.

I walked into the gym changing room once where one lady had her leg up and was toweling herself dry. It looked like she was doing a seductive dance.

It was like an eclipse BumBiscuits. You know you shouldn't look but you can't stop yourself.

BumBiscuits Sun 13-Jan-13 23:06:43

arf at the eclipse floppy grin

kickassangel Sun 13-Jan-13 23:20:13

asheep your body is normal

Morloth Sun 13-Jan-13 23:45:12

LOL, the only comment DS1 has ever made about my naked body is on the size of my arse.

He said 'Mummy, your bum is so BIG!'. He sounded so impressed though I took it as a compliment.

Otherwise though he has been around naked women quite a lot (not so much now he is older) and never gave anyone a second glance.

Raising the next generation of sensible men here who know that women come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colours and hair levels.

asheep, your body is just fine - it made a baby! How awesome is that, you can make people. Over the years in many different countries I have seen all sorts of bodies, and they are all fine.

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 11:11:07

ASheepAtTheWheel - I can promise you that if I saw you naked in a changing room I would mostly take not much notice, but if I did I would not think your body ugly or not normal. Just a body that has been doing it's job. Which is normal. smile.

Hobbitation Mon 14-Jan-13 13:50:40

She said to me the other day 'when you look at yourself with a mirror' I thought 'Umm what do you mean when ?

I know what you mean. I have only ever looked at myself down there with a mirror twice. Once as a teenager in an "Am I normal?" moment after reading a magazine article, and once two weeks after having DD1 when the midwife had removed the stitches and said "It all looks lovely again now". Last one took a bit of courage, but it was indeed all ok.

ILikeBirds Mon 14-Jan-13 14:21:35

Add Denmark to the compulsory naked shower list for those bothered about that sort of thing

higgle Mon 14-Jan-13 15:02:34

I didn't find the compulsory naked shower thing upsetting just a bit taken aback as I wasn't expecting it. At least in the nordic swimming pools you know exactly wht you are required to do and you see quite quickly everyone complies, then it is not anxiety inducing. It is when I see groups of "flaunters" and the "cover it all up at any cost" brigade in the same changing room that I get a bit worried as I have to decide which camp I'm in and ( because I just can't flaunt) what exactly I have to do to show I'm not totally neurotic and ashamed of my body either. DH was mightily embarassed a few years ago when we got a new cleaner at home. She also worked at the local swimming pool in the men's changing room, where she had seen rather a lot of him!

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:03:08

Thanks for saying that Carling but you'd find that difficult. It is horrible though, looks like this
http://www.caesarean.org.uk/pictures/small35.jpg
No amount of dieting or exercise will help, skin and muscle too damaged (confirmed by medic). It makes me feel sick sad

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:12:50

Thanks too, Morloth. I know I should think that, but just can't. For a normal tummy, yes but mine is grotesque. I'll bet you haven't seen one like mine as I can't imagine anyone exposing it to others.
I am weeping as I type this.

PretzelTime Mon 14-Jan-13 18:28:38

I'm sorry you feel so bad asheep, I know a woman who also have a stomach like that. She also felt really down about it but all I see is simply a woman who have had children!

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:36:06

asheep - that's EXACTLY how many people's bodies are after all that pg and CS. My friend's tummy looks like that. smile

I'm sorry that you are so upset about it. I agree your middle doesn't conform to anything you see in a magazine, but there's many a M&S jumper covering a tum like that. And truly, to me, it is just a tum that has seen a bit of the world and earned it's keep.

But your feelings are your feelings, I'm not saying you are wrong to feel as you do. Have you talked to your GP about your feelings about it? On Embarrassing Bodies they are always doing procedures to remove extra skin on previously over-stretched bellies.

Think of the portraists artists choose to paint when they can chhhose the model - still life rather than commissioned portraits. Artists much prefer bodies that display signs of a person's history than 'blank canvas' beauty. Look at Bacon and Freud's fabulous nudes. They^ love^ that flesh with their brush and light.

Take care of yourself and stand proud!

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:30:42

Ah now your kind and thoughtful replies are making me cry again!
I imagine people seeing me and recoiling (or thinking "that's awful" but being polite and saying nothing).

I know what you mean about those artists Carling but there's not too many folk around with an artist's aesthetics. sad

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:37:51

My GP referred me to a cosmetic surgeon who was willing to do an op but I was scared to have one for something not life threatening.

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:58:34

Well, that is a sound sense of priority smile

SpicyPear Mon 14-Jan-13 20:01:48

asheep 'm sorry to feel that it makes you feel bad, but I also have friends with similar tums. I myself have a scar and a funny tum from a gynae op and often get asked if I'm pg when I never have been sad I know it's much harder said than done but I really am getting towards a place where I see it as a kind of marker of what I have been through rather than an imperfect body part. To begin with I couldn't even look at it though. One thing I can guarantee to you is that it does not look as bad as you see it in your head.

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 21:39:00

I'm so sorry Spicy that you have gone through this.

KristinaM Tue 15-Jan-13 21:50:40

As sheep, lots of women at our local gym have tummies like that and mine isn't much better. I think it's pretty normal to look like this aftre several pregnancies and sections . I'm size 8 and pretty fit, but that bit hasn't gone away with weight loss and exercise. I just accept that my days as a bikini model are gone. I don't look too closely in the mirror and my DP doesn't wear his specs in bed so he can't see either.

, we could afford plastic surgery but I woulndt take the risk of soemthing going wrong, when I have young children. Lots of people live full and happy lives with major disabilities. I've decided I can live with a slightly saggy tummy .

Please don't be offended, but , if this is upsetting you so much I think you need to go and talk to a counsellor about it. Your tummy is normal but your feelings about it are not. I'm wondering if you might be suffering from depression and that's why things are getting all out of proportion for you?

There is help out there, you don't need to go on feeling like this

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 16-Jan-13 16:40:52

That looks like my sisters tum after twins asheep. She is still gorge though.
I know it is very upsetting when something changes to that extent but as women we are always mentally chopping our bodies up, saying things like"I like my legs, if I could only change my arms and my bum I would be OK."
We even grab handfuls of flesh and move it around, saying "If only "this" wasn't here" BUT in truth people don't really isolate bits when they look at other people.
You see other people as a whole, a person with a body that has survived things like birth and operations, ageing etc.
We have to try and look at ourselves as whole people, not body parts, just like we do other people.

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