To think that she's in the wrong

(38 Posts)
baileysontherocks Thu 10-Jan-13 18:15:58

So it's my bday on Saturday and I was meant to be going out with my fiancée on Saturday for a meal then into town we asked by best friend and her partner to join us and they said sorry we can't we haven't got the money why don't you cancel yours plans an we will come to yours for a drink so I cancelled everything and bought the food and drink for them to come and now they have said oh sorry he might be working on the weekend so we might not be able to make it so I said fair enough then she said we will come and now they said they have got friends coming so they cant and then 5 minutes later she said we are off out for a meal and drinks its final hmm am I wrong for thinking she could have just Said sorry we don't want to come because in my eyes they have made excuse after excuse and then her oh said its my fault am I in the wrong? I wouldn't have minded if she had just been honest in the first place so we could have still gone ahead with our plans and not spent our cash on providing food and alcohol for them hmm

pictish Thu 10-Jan-13 18:17:23

Yanbu. That is very rude of them. Tell them so.

crikeybill Thu 10-Jan-13 18:18:28



Stick to your plans. If people want to celebrate with you they will. Usually messing about with your own plans at the request of somebody else means trouble up ahead.

I hope you have a lovely birthday! smile

CremeEggThief Thu 10-Jan-13 18:21:16

YANBU. I think they have really messed you around and you should think about how and/or if you want your friendship to continue.

pictish Thu 10-Jan-13 18:28:49

No need Crikey.

baileysontherocks Thu 10-Jan-13 18:33:10

Thank you smile I Thought I wasn't I'm sure I will enjoy my birthday no matter what I just like bit of honesty smile.

Sorry for not using full stops I was typing furiously as I was very upset hmm

YorkshireDeb Thu 10-Jan-13 18:35:28

Think your 'friend' sounds like a cow. I'd be cross with her & make sure she knew. X

baileysontherocks Thu 10-Jan-13 18:42:00

I tried to tell her and her partner put a status on fb slagging me down saying im impossible to please.
It's not the first time she has done this as well I forgave her about 3 months ago after she mad other plans on my hen party night when she was my maid of honour and she had set up that date in the first place.
My fiancée has gone off on one at me today for forgiving her all the time but I can't help it I hate falling out and think that life's too short. but I'm starting to see that maybe I am being taken for a mug way too often. hmm

CremeEggThief Thu 10-Jan-13 18:50:40

Blimey! Well in light of your last post, I don't see why you should bother with either of them again angry.

BlueberryHill Thu 10-Jan-13 18:55:20

Is she still your maid of honour?

baileysontherocks Thu 10-Jan-13 19:02:05

Yes well she was until today's shenanigans hmm

Doubt she will be after I finally spoke out and her partner has slated me all over fb.

I honestly didn't want to fall out which I clearly told her but her response was.... "Well thanks for being understanding."
Shouldn't I be the one saying that?

Do I still have her as my maid of honour? Do I just roll over and be friends with her until she does it again? I don't know what to do. hmm

Seabird72 Thu 10-Jan-13 19:09:57

No you shouldn't let her be your maid of honour or continue to treat you in such a way - she's obviously not going to change and you have to try and find friends who won't mistreat you - to slag you off on fb is just wrong - other people will think so too but might not speak out on your behalf. I would immediately unfriend both of them on fb and not contact them again - leave your choice of maid of honour for a while until you feel you have found someone you are sure you want to take your ex-friend's place. You have clearly bent over backwards for this friend way too many times before - it's time to put yourself first - especially since it's YOUR birthday. I think it's a very valuable lesson to learn that putting others first isn't always the best answer. She isn't going to change her ways and you will only continue to feel hurt in the future if you continue with this "friendship".

HecatePropolos Thu 10-Jan-13 19:10:51

I bloody wouldn't roll over and take it up the arse.
They've really messed you about and the reason they're attacking you about it is because they know they're in the wrong!

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 10-Jan-13 19:30:15

I would tell her to piss off and take her OH with her. They obviously like making plans until they get a better offer, tell her to do one pronto.

Ivehadbetterdays Thu 10-Jan-13 19:40:28

I would back away from the friendship if I were you. You don't have to fall out as such, if you really hate confrontation (I do too) but definitely cool it. Don't get in touch and carry on with your wedding plans minus her as a maid of honour.
She doesn't sound like a good friend at all especially after not attending your hen do shock sounds like you could do without her and her dp in your life! Oh and Happy Birthday smile

Floggingmolly Thu 10-Jan-13 19:47:58

So, now they're going out for a meal and haven't invited you? After you cancelled your meal because they couldn't afford to join you? hmm
She's not your friend.

pictish Thu 10-Jan-13 20:31:34

This woman is not your friend. Understand this asap.

She should not be your maid of honour, she does not deserve to be.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 10-Jan-13 20:37:49

Maid of Honour, empasis on the "Honour" part, the friend obviously lacks in it, especially after allowing her OH to bad mouth OP on FB.

She sounds awful and is definitely not treating you like much of a friend.

Sparklyblue Thu 10-Jan-13 21:04:11

OMG you are so NBU. What an absolute cow. I don't think I could forgive this, especially with her history of letting you down.
So angry and sad for you.
Do not let her be your M of O. She is not deserving.
Oh and Happy Birthday for Sat, it's my birthday Saturday too grin
See if you can get your table at the restaurant back.

katiecubs Thu 10-Jan-13 21:13:53

She is your 'best friend' ?! Seriously it sounds like she doesn't even like you very much.

I can't believe you would even consider keeping her as your maid of honour - fire her now and pick someone who has a little more respect.

Wow, if she's your best friend, I am worried to think of what your enemies are like! dump her, she's not worth the effort if she's that much of a twat.

ohfunnyhoneyface Fri 11-Jan-13 15:08:29

This is ridiculous- what are they even slagging you off for?? What are you meant to have done??

Groovee Fri 11-Jan-13 15:14:24

[shocked] I'd be dropping her!

Jux Fri 11-Jan-13 15:37:18

No to maid of honour. When the wedding invites go out, don't send them one. In the meantime, find another MoH and announce it happily on fb. Also, mention on fb when the invites are going out, so they know when they don't get one.

Unless, of course, they do an enormous grovel in the meantime, then invite them and seat them onmthe table by the loos.

SantasENormaSnob Fri 11-Jan-13 15:40:54

This woman is not your friend.

She is a nasty cunt who is well and truly taking the piss.

TameGaloot Fri 11-Jan-13 15:41:21

Agree just ignore them for now. No to moh and don't send them an invite

Happy birthday. All the best people are born on 12/1 wink

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 11-Jan-13 15:44:03

Tame im sure most are, but the woman who stole my fiancee was also born that day wink

Happy Birthday OP smile

TameGaloot Fri 11-Jan-13 15:51:42

She must be the exception that proves the rule
(What does that mean anyway)

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Jan-13 15:54:38

Wankers, very inconsiderate and bad mannered, that's all I have to say.

Oh hang on, ask her to be your maid of honour?? you've got to be kidding, sorry love.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Jan-13 15:55:34

PS happy birthday for tomorrow thanks

Yfronts Fri 11-Jan-13 16:16:41

How rude of her! I would definitely keep her at arms length and not set up any future dates. Tell her you are also making cut backs in relation to the wedding and so the maid of honor is no longer happening.

Yfronts Fri 11-Jan-13 16:17:38

Can you also text her and ask her directly why her DH is being so rude about you on FB after messing things around so much?

assumpta Fri 11-Jan-13 16:27:00

If you can, just ignore the whole thing. If you go texting re: 'why did your husband say this blah blah blah ...' you know that you won't really get a civil answer, so why annoy yourself further.

It is time to break contact by just saying nothing. She will either contact you about being MOH, when you can fill her in by saying she's not any more, she won't, in which case it, and she, goes away quietly for you without any ridiculous communication. I have no idea why people broadcast and make comments like this on Facebook.

assumpta Fri 11-Jan-13 16:27:50

'or' she won't

Yanbu. Your 'friend' on the other hand is being a complete arse.
Enjoy your meal at home with your DP and the booze too.
I'd be backing out of this friendship if it was me.
And I'd definitely not have someone who treated and allowed her OH to treat me the way they have you as a MOH.

bumperella Fri 11-Jan-13 17:34:39

Life is way too short to saddle yourself with a "friend" who treats you this badly. She has been very rude, hurtful and inconsiderate.
Just don't bother with her anymore. If she contacts you then you can explain to her that she has behaved badly toward you and you feel she either needs to (a) apologize and make amends or (b) get out of your life.
Ignore the fb crap. It's the last resort of losers, bitching about friends online when there's a decent chance they will get to read it/ hear about it.

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