To think these are unnecessary ablutions in the middle of the night?

(83 Posts)
InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 10:38:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sparkle12mar08 Thu 10-Jan-13 10:41:44

I'd be utterly livid if my dh did that to me! It's totally inconsiderate.

On a side note, why don't you have a sink where the toilet in your room is, why does he have to go next door and turn a second light on?

marchwillsoonbehere Thu 10-Jan-13 10:44:06

You don't flush????? eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

But if he is just getting up to wash hishands after a nose blow could he not use hand gel instead and out the snotty tissue in a nappy bag for disposal in the morning?

InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 10:44:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 10:45:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cloudpuff Thu 10-Jan-13 10:45:54

Well I wee in the dark and don't wash my hands if its the middle of the night, but then I could just be a rotter.

Could you not get some of that antibacterial gel stuff for him to use instead of washing hands.

InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 10:46:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Astelia Thu 10-Jan-13 10:46:30

YABU nobody should go to the loo and not wash their hands. Yuk. I wouldn't let DH back into bed if he hadn't washed his hands, not that he would do this.

After blowing your nose and flushing the toilet you should wash hands too, though if it is a blow of nose and didn't get out of bed there's no need.

If the light switch annoys you get some plug in night lights.

marchwillsoonbehere Thu 10-Jan-13 10:47:12

If it's yellow I let it mellow, and if it's brown I flush it down. grin

Well you have mitigating cirx if there are sleeping babies around, but even so, eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 10:47:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cloudpuff Thu 10-Jan-13 10:47:59

I dont usually flush either unless Im on my period, the whole house rattles when you flush out toilet chain.

Beehatch Thu 10-Jan-13 10:48:10

I don't flush in the night, but do wash my hands in the dark. Sink is right next the loo though.

SuffolkNWhat Thu 10-Jan-13 10:49:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards Thu 10-Jan-13 10:49:34

He's being totally unreasonable there's no need for all that during the night totally excessive. I too don't flush or wash for a during the night wee.

And as for eeewww? Seriously? Are you 9?

marchwillsoonbehere Thu 10-Jan-13 10:50:41

And as for eeewww? Seriously? Are you 9

No I'm 58, what's your point?

MrsKeithRichards Thu 10-Jan-13 10:51:20

Who gets up for a poo? I've never awoke during the night needing a poo!

Trills Thu 10-Jan-13 10:51:25

This is why you need a sink in your toilet.

MrsKeithRichards Thu 10-Jan-13 10:51:48

You sound about 9.

Flobbadobs Thu 10-Jan-13 10:52:32

Get him some antibacterial hand wipes to use at night and a spanner to fix the squeaky tap! I presume he knows where the loo actually is so why does he need the light on?
YANBU. DH used to do this until he woke up a sleeping toddler. I made him stay up to get her back to bed and got him some wipes the next day! We don't flush at night unless its a biggie because its sods law someone will wake up

dequoisagitil Thu 10-Jan-13 10:52:59

You ought to wash your hands. Ugh.

Why not get DH:
- a wastebasket by the bed,
- plus one of those antibacterial hand-soaps that dry quickly on the bedside table,
then he can blow his nose, dump the tissue in the bin and clean his hands without ever having to leave the bed. grin

scarletforya Thu 10-Jan-13 10:53:11

Flush you scruffy article!

ChrimboFascist Thu 10-Jan-13 10:53:30

He flushes the toilet just for a bit of snotty tissue? What a waste of water. Tell him to put it in the bin.

InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 10:53:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sugarice Thu 10-Jan-13 10:53:58

I Follow your example OP, as quick and as quiet as I can be in the middle of the night and normal rules don't apply imo. wink

narmada Thu 10-Jan-13 10:54:16

What mrskeithrichards said grin

mrssmooth Thu 10-Jan-13 10:56:26

Am also guilty of not flushing in the middle of the night (but I do have a "absolutely-flush-the-loo-during-the-day" rule though!) My mil never flushes the loo unless it's [ahem] brown ... because "it costs money to flush the loo, we have to pay for every single drop of water we use you know" (water meter)!!!

We live in an oldish house and our toilets don't actually have sinks in them (yet) so I have been using hand sanitiser instead ... would that be an option for middle of the night visits to the loo?

BreconBeBuggered Thu 10-Jan-13 10:57:50

Nothing wrong with leaving it unflushed. Especially if you have a weedy bladder and a water meter. Handwashing is another matter. As are lights being turned on and off during the night.

marchwillsoonbehere Thu 10-Jan-13 10:57:55

You sound about 9.


Never needed to get up in the night for a poo? Good for you! Not understanding that other people might? Who gets up for a poo? Who's sounding like a child now?


Thumbwitch Thu 10-Jan-13 10:58:03

I can't bear not flushing, it stinks in the morning (regardless of colour!)
But I don't switch the light on and I don't always wash my hands (I do if I've got them wet of course)

And your DH is being an inconsiderate knobend. Put a bin in the bathroom and let him blow his nose in there and dump the tissue - no need to flush it.

marchwillsoonbehere Thu 10-Jan-13 10:59:23

Thumbwitch you asre welcome in my house (with efficient plumbing!) any time


Flobbadobs Thu 10-Jan-13 11:00:38

How about looking for something like this?
This one is pricey but I bet you could find something cheaper.

diddl Thu 10-Jan-13 11:01:45

We don´t flush for wees in the night either.

I certainly wouldn´t flush for a piece of snotty tissue!

Can´t afford it!

acceptableinthe80s Thu 10-Jan-13 11:04:11

Tell him to go for an 'empty wee' before bed, if a 4 year old can manage to go all night surely a grown man can? Oh and restrict drinks after 8pm, should do the trick.

BadLad Thu 10-Jan-13 11:05:17

I think YABU. He should try to be as quiet as he can, but when you've got to do it, you've got to do it.

Especially after I've had a few drinks, I often have to get up for a wee once or twice in the night. I don't switch the lights on, but I certainly flush it and wash my hands afterwards. Fortunately, that is expected by everyone in this house.

Perhaps a bin in the bathroom would help your problem - he can get up, let himself out quietly, blow his nose in another room and just put it in the bin.

Fakebook Thu 10-Jan-13 11:05:57

Eew. I flush even at night, albeit a half flush, so I just press the button down for a millisecond. I also wash my hands; you touch yourself unknowingly all night! How can you not wash your hands just because its night? I don't turn the light on though because it hurts my eyes. I actually haven't woken up for a wee at night since I was pregnant.

bedmonster Thu 10-Jan-13 11:06:11

Your DH is BU. I don't always flush at night and don't bother with hand washing. And I never turn the lights on either.

But yes to You sound about 9 grin

Fakebook Thu 10-Jan-13 11:06:49

Night knight nighty night.

bedmonster Thu 10-Jan-13 11:07:49

you touch yourself unknowingly all night!

Oh my bloody god, might as well just chop your hands off then, be done with all those body germs!!!

Thumbwitch Thu 10-Jan-13 11:09:33

Thanks March! grin

WitchOfEndor Thu 10-Jan-13 11:09:56

If I need a wee in the night I leave the light off and don't wash (as I won't be touching anything before I get my shower the next morning). I've never had to poo in the night unless I was ill and it was a bit of an emergency smile and I did put the light on because I was in there for some time. And the next morning DH asked that, in future, could I be quieter running to the loo as it woke him up ( although he said he understood that I couldn't help making noises once I got there as the world was falling out of my arse ) I didn't really know what to say to that!

marchwillsoonbehere Thu 10-Jan-13 11:12:46

Okay, I bow to the MN jury, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww is childish. From hereon in the phrase I will use is 'tsk'. Any better? grin

MrsKeithRichards Thu 10-Jan-13 11:13:07

The first thing I do in the morning is go for a pee and wash my hands. I don't bother during the night because I'm going straight back into bed and back to sleep the only thing that is likely to happen before I get up for the day is a bit of rumpy pumpy and/or touching of naughty bits which I wouldn't wash my hands after either!

I always wash them first thing my mum always said that you never know where your hands have been during the night!

fluffyraggies Thu 10-Jan-13 11:13:14

OMG i hate finding stale old wee in the loo in the mornings! My eldest (i discovered after some interrogations) took it upon herself to stop flushing at night recently for some reason best known to her recently. She flushes again now!

I flush, and wash hands quickly at night. BUT all the pitch dark. I wouldn't dream of putting the bedroom light on, and if i put the bathroom light on I'm blind then for getting back across the landing grin

Would bin tissues. Not waste a flush on them.

Pigsmummy Thu 10-Jan-13 11:17:48

I always hand wash briefly but don't flush for a wee, do you regulary clean the light switches and door handles btw? I never used to until we got a bad tummy bug.....

littleducks Thu 10-Jan-13 11:20:44

I wouldn't normally get out of bed to flush a tissue.

However if I got out of bed and it was actually dark (the kids have nightlights in their rooms and doors open or its starting to get lighter naturally as our bathroom/landing/stairs windows are all just frosted glass with no curtains) I would turn on a light without a second thought. I would attempt to do whatever I needed quietly but wouldn't not do it.

We often go to bed at different times/get up differfnt times so dont creep about.

NaicePig Thu 10-Jan-13 11:22:28

But is he even weeing?

NaicePig Thu 10-Jan-13 11:23:11

I chuck nose-tissues in the loo if I'm up and about, but leave them there until it gets flushed anyway.

carabos Thu 10-Jan-13 11:27:46

I don't understand why he's getting up at all if he's not actually weeing? Why can't he blow his nose in bed and go back to sleep? Washing his hands after blowing his nose isn't going to diminish the risk of infection to people he's actually in bed with and breathing all over!

InNeatCognac Thu 10-Jan-13 11:28:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KellyElly Thu 10-Jan-13 11:45:48

I can't believe people wash their hands at night. I go to the loo with my eyes closed, no lights, quick wee and then straight back to bed. If I started flushing, turning lights on, washing hands etc I'd be wide awake. I really wish I could sleep walk to the loo and not have to wake up at all grin

LegArmpits Thu 10-Jan-13 11:49:18

I'm not sure I'd even know how to operate the taps at 4am.

Delayingtactic Thu 10-Jan-13 11:54:45

I thought in the name of water conservation you're not meant to flush the loo if its just for a wee? I don't overnight (toilet is above DS bed so would definitely wake him). I do use hand gel though.

Sidge Thu 10-Jan-13 11:58:13

I don't flush or handwash at night either (and I'm the infection control link nurse at work!)

It's your own urine, not nuclear waste. Unless you've wiped yourself dry with your bare hands (or had a poo or changed your sanpro) not handwashing isn't going to cause any real problems.

Handwashing after blowing your nose is actually more important in terms of cross infection.

CheCazzo Thu 10-Jan-13 12:06:59

Oh. My. God. @ the histrionics about night time handwashing!

* you touch yourself unknowingly all night!* - God. Yeah. Filthy. Absolutely filthy. I expect you even insert your whole arm, unknowingly, right up your arse don't you? grin

Listen. If you leave a pee in the bowl overnight it is NOT going to breed silently and malodourously until you have a huge wave of bad tempered malignant piss poised and ready to attack you in the morning. If you pee in the night and don't wash your hands you will NOT wake up covered in cooties and ghastly suppurating sores causing your almost certain death by lunchtime.

Grip anyone?

Thumbwitch Thu 10-Jan-13 12:10:01

CheCazzo - it still stinks in the morning though. We tried not flushing wee away when DS1 was first in his own room because it was next to the bathroom - I sacked it after a week because I couldn't bear the stink.

CheCazzo Thu 10-Jan-13 12:11:15

You must have extraordinarily stinky piss then!

fairylightsandtinsel Thu 10-Jan-13 12:18:20

I sometimes wonder how those people like the ones on here who are shock at not handwashing and flushing deal with potty training or even nappies. I have been up (quite literally) up to my elbows in poo and piss for the last six months (DS is a bit slow bless him) and whilst I do wash my hands afterwards, I don't do a full on, nailbrush, boiling hot water effort because there are days when I would do nothing else! As for the OP, YANBU, your DP is being over-the-top. Our small en-suite may whiff slightly for the first 10 secs of the morning before we flush bit its hardly retching territory.

BadLad Thu 10-Jan-13 12:18:39

Well, that will depend on what you eat to an extent. Mine is particularly stinky after asparagus.

ErikNorseman Thu 10-Jan-13 12:22:13

Nighttime pees go unflushed and daytime ones too he is being VU.

CunningPlan Thu 10-Jan-13 12:22:13

Night lights on the landing. It's the way forward OP. revolutionised our night time toilet trips and the clear up after we TTC

And yes to not hand washing in the night. But I pee first thing and wash them then.

Thumbwitch Thu 10-Jan-13 12:22:50

Not me, DH. But yes, he does. And it's 100x worse after asparagus.

samandi Thu 10-Jan-13 12:24:21

Flushing a tissue away that you've used to blow your nose on is ridiculous at any time. But washing your hands after going to the toilet is quite acceptable. No need to flush if it's a wee, though flushing is acceptable too - whatever works.

greensmoothiegoddess Thu 10-Jan-13 13:35:20

No flushing here!
No washing of hands!
No bad stinky pee smell in the morn!

Get a grip folks.

valiumredhead Thu 10-Jan-13 13:37:29

If I get up in the night I wee in the dark and wash my hands as quietly as possible - never flush!

Anniegetyourgun Thu 10-Jan-13 13:46:30

I'm a compulsive flusher and hand-washer. However, flushing tissues and washing hands after blowing your nose? In your own house? Weird stuff. (If I got up to flush it away every time I used a tissue I'd never get any sleep at all in the winter... still, the exercise would probably do me good.)

LimburgseVlaai Thu 10-Jan-13 13:48:42

OP - get your husband a handkerchief.

NewYearNewNagoo Thu 10-Jan-13 13:52:24

I'd rather he turned the light on than peed on the floor.

Putting tissues under your pillow is disgusting wretched behaviour. It will be cited on my divorce papers

We have a night light on the landing. No lights need to go on for us.

There is no need to flush a tissue. I wouldn't flush wee either. Unless he does that terrible brown dad-piss envy

Andro Thu 10-Jan-13 14:01:58

Snotty tissues in the bin by the bed and emptied in the morning.

Going to the toilet and not flushing or washing my hands? Never going to happen! Personal hygiene is basic; if you go to the toilet, you wash your hands when you have finished.

HiggsBoson Thu 10-Jan-13 14:15:04

You bunch of repressed harpies grin

Its only wee fgs!

We're metered and appreciate having access to water, so we conserve it i.e. don't flush for every wee.

BarredfromhavingStella Thu 10-Jan-13 14:18:14

No flushing or hand washing in the middle of the night here either-no need to turn on the light as the majority of the time I don't even open my eyes grin

Beehatch Thu 10-Jan-13 14:27:39

Perhaps we should all go back to chamber pots wink

complexnumber Thu 10-Jan-13 14:41:06

"Tell him to go for an 'empty wee' before bed, if a 4 year old can manage to go all night surely a grown man can?"

If only acceptableinthe80s.

Have you come across the Prostate development in males after about 45 y/o?

I normally have 2 pees a night. sad

KellyElly Thu 10-Jan-13 14:43:12

All these hand washing hygiene comments on threads always make me wonder - do avid hand washers wash their hands after sex/foreplay etc?, do they wash their hands after being in any public place or using public transport? after using a computer? Using a mobile phone/work phone? Shaking hands with someone? (well you don't know if THEY wash after pissing do you grin) Surely all of these things carry more bugs/bacteria than a little bit of your own wee? It's not like you piss on your hands, there's a good few sheets of loo roll in the way!

IloveJudgeJudy Thu 10-Jan-13 15:03:05

Your poor DH. I'm sure he'd much rather not have to blow his nose in the middle of the night, or go to the loo.

DH always gets up in the middle of the night for a pee. Has done since I've known him. I did always used to wake up, but don't now. I have asked him to flush after peeing as I find man pee smells pretty strong after fermenting in the bowl plus it makes the bowl much dirtier somehow (perhaps cos we're in a very hard water area?).

Fakebook Thu 10-Jan-13 15:05:00

Touching your eyes with unwashed hands can cause bacterial infections like sties. I'd rather prevent myself from contracting shit like that. Anyway I distinctly remember a thread where people openly admitted to not washing hands after using the loo and even after pooing. I was amazed at how many people don't wash their hands. It's really bad hygiene.

VenusRising Thu 10-Jan-13 15:17:43

Why is he flushing a tissue down the lav?

Sounds like he needs to grow up, and be more considerate!

Get some anti bac gel and tell him to put the tissue in the bin.

With wees, just go quietly in the dark, or leave a night light in there, only flush if its a poo is the rule in our house (ancient plumbing).
Have the neighbours complained - maybe invent a story about plumbing noises!?

Is afraid of the dark?

bonkersLFDT20 Thu 10-Jan-13 15:21:15

I give washing hands higher priority over flushing the loo at night. No way do we flush after every wee (night or day). I don't think our loo stinks at all and I am pretty neurotic about stinky loos with 3 males in the house.

PigletJohn Thu 10-Jan-13 15:51:23

if you are whinging about plumbing noises:

you can get a quiet flusher

you can get a silent cistern filling valve

if you have a noisy ballcock in the loft tank change it for a good quality new one and you will be so surprised how quiet it is that you will wish you had done it years ago.

KoalaTale Thu 10-Jan-13 16:01:32

I don't flush in night, but do wash hands!lights stay off too

scarletforya Thu 10-Jan-13 20:53:15

All these hand washing hygiene comments on threads always make me wonder - do avid hand washers wash their hands after sex/foreplay etc?, do they wash their hands after being in any public place or using public transport? after using a computer? Using a mobile phone/work phone? Shaking hands with someone

Yes, is that bad? blush

Willdoitinaminute Thu 10-Jan-13 20:57:55

I'm a wee in the dark person, DH has to make a song and dance about it and wake the whole household. Our local chemist do some brilliant silicone earplugs. They have pretty much save our marriage. They also block out the worst of the snoring.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Thu 10-Jan-13 21:03:17

I wash my hands after a wee because it's automatic but thinking about it, my hand doesn't actually come into contact with anything. I use enough loo roll that my hand doesn't touch my body and no fluid comes through the paper to my hand. Like the OP, it's no big issue if she doesn't wash her hands in the night.

DeepRedBetty Thu 10-Jan-13 21:08:32

I neither flush nor wash my hands if it's been a wee at 4 a.m.

So there.

I'm with Sidge.

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