To have not expected my 2 year old to have broken his Christmas present yet

(54 Posts)
Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 19:35:46

I am pregnant and hormonal, but got home from work today to find my 2 year old declaring 'i break the bus' very proudly while granny looks on. He has been going through a 'throwing things' phase recently and also has A LOT of toys - most not given to him by me and his dad. But his dad thought really hard and chose his Christmas present himself and it is a lovely wooden toy bus. He threw the bus around in a more than boisterous playing way (which I have witnessed and also received a few toys in the face with recently) and managed to knock the wheel off (it's broken at the joint) and I can't now find the bit to glue it back on as granny mentioned she had hoovered up and it might have gone up the hoover. I am totally GUTTED and might cry. I know this is totally unreasonable, please tell me to get a grip.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:37:55

In the nicest possible way, get a grip smile. This will happen to more toys opver the years than you will be able to shake a stick at. At 2 he's not far from being able to realise that if he breaks something then it might not get replaced or fixed, and that's an important step on the way to looking after your own things.

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 19:39:36

Thanks sparkle but I am actually crying now - need more grips...

carocaro Wed 09-Jan-13 19:40:57

Yes get a grip, he's two, breaking things is fun, they don't even mean to half the time, I have been to the tip many a time with broken toys (I have 2 boys aged 5 & 10) tis a fact of life, I did have a little cry when I had to chuck a large Scooby Doo soft toy that had become mouldy for some reason, felt very mean slinging it into the tip, his face was still so happy and trusting despite being binned!

He will still love his 3 wheeled bus even if you don't.

KenLeeeeeee Wed 09-Jan-13 19:42:08

YANBU to be upset by it. It sounds like a lovely gift and I would shed a tear or two over it as well. Don't dwell on it though; plenty of toys will get broken but this is a really good opportunity to teach him about the importance of caring for his belongings properly so that he takes care of toys and books when he's older.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:43:38

Oh I've cried over broken toys, don't get me wrong, and I've been utterly heartbroken when the dc deliberately destroyed some handmade christmas decorations we'd made together just the night before. Because it was what they represented, the destroying of something we'd done together and put such love into. But you know what, we're all still here, alive and healthy, and if they're down a few toys then it's their own fault and their own problem. I've stopped letting myself get too worked up about it as I realised it's not me that's getting hurt by it - it's them. I won't spend the money twice so they know they'll have to do without.

ladymariner Wed 09-Jan-13 19:47:27

I agree with Kenleeeeee, it always seemed to be the 'special' toys that got damaged, and in this case I'd be upset too. I don't agree that breaking toys is fun, yes toys do get broken but this is a good time to try and teach him to play nicely with them. Perhaps take them away for a short time if he's not playing properly with them?

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 19:47:45

Thanks all good advice. He is left with all the plastic crap and that seems to be curiously difficult to break - dammit.

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 19:49:19

ladymariner I should have done that when he started throwing all the passengers out in a scatter gun motion every time he played with it - but now it is too late... I will learn

BabsAndTheRu Wed 09-Jan-13 19:51:03

It is really annoying but happens all the time. My kids are experts at. Bought them a castle last year as the reviews said how sturdy and hard wearing it was, and I quote " has lasted for years in our family". Broken within a week, finally threw it out after many many repairs and realised it was actually becoming a danger to our health as so many bits sticking out waiting to stab us all. My sister handed us down toys from her kids, she had them in her attic for about ten years, all in great condition, don't know how she managed it, but all her kids really looked after things. OMG you should see them now, I hide them when she's round. There's no point getting upset but you have to let them know its naughty not to take care of toys. Think we are starting to get somewhere with our lot now but has taken a good few years.

DonderandBlitzen Wed 09-Jan-13 19:51:11

Go for garish plastic and not lovely wooden next time and then you won't mind so much. smile

If you really really love it you could empty the hoover contents out to try and find the missing piece to fix it.

When he is throwing the toys about do you remove them?
Do you have anything he can throw? A soft spongey ball, or little beanbags to throw in tubs/buckets/onto rug/sofa?

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 20:00:07

Yourhand he is allowed to throw all balls and soft toys, especially his big 'digger' ball. However this is the one thing he isn't interested in throwing. He does, however, love to throw anything at all left on the kitchen table (letters, keys etc), cutlery, food, anything precious or breakable or that makes a 'bangy bangy' noise. I am really quite a strict mum but any attempt to get him to stop without physically removing him or said objects just results in a manic attempt to throw as much as possible as fast as possible before I can get to him.

I did have a poke around in the hoover bag but it's one of those allergy ones that's pretty hard to get into and I also remembered it had recently hoovered up some weird dead bugs by our back door - well I think they were dead...

BabsAndTheRu Wed 09-Jan-13 20:11:32

He reminds me so much of our eldest DS, when you caught him holding something breakable and expensive like DP's glasses you had to creep up on him and grab it before he saw you or it was hurled across the room, and like you say with anything else he could find. Oh the memories!!

BabsAndTheRu Wed 09-Jan-13 20:13:55

Forgot to say, six pairs of glasses replaced between age 18months and 2 1/2. The joys, lucky glasses insured.

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 20:14:49

Don't get me started on my glasses - they're far too easy prey as they are always on my face...

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 20:15:12

Not insured...

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 20:22:01

Granny sounds very "airy fairy". Why didn't she stop him or try to fix it herself? Everyone knows that if you break something and you can't find the missing piece, you don't Hoover for at least 2 days until you find it. Do you think Granny is partly to blame here?

BabsAndTheRu Wed 09-Jan-13 20:23:50

I don't know how our wee one managed it, could have them in bits in seconds. The glasses where insured by chance by my DP when he bought them, it was an offer hey had on for £10. We didn't even have kids yet. We certainly got our money's worth. Ran out at the same time he stopped that phase. Thank goodness.

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 20:26:39

Ah Fakebook you are perceptive but not entirely free of mischief smile. In granny's eyes he can do no wrong (she did make a quick exit though, I noticed, as I hunted around under the sofa).

However, I can't get hung up on that because she looks after him when I'm at work (1 day a week in my own house) and also made me dinner tonight (which I managed to burn through crying over broken bus). I think this is what is so infuriating, I can't blame a two year old - what kind of mum would I be? - I can't blame long suffering and helpful although extremely lenient and ridiculously over-indulgent granny - so I am left alone with my hormones and mumsnet. It aint pretty.

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 20:34:33

You will get over it and used to it, honestly! Dd is 5 and started breaking her toys at 3.5. We have one or two breakages a week now. Today she broke a ring I bought her on Sunday. It'll become the norm for you soon. (Unless my child is abnormal in breaking things all the time).

DaisyBuchannan Wed 09-Jan-13 20:36:35

DS is three. Managed to break a brio track on boxing day. I mean, HOW?! It's solid wood! Get a grip here too, am afraid.

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 20:40:14

Thanks Daisy was starting to lose it again...

Have you heard of schemas OP? They focus on looking at what a child's currently exploring (in your DS's case it would be a trajectory schema) and looks at how we can help them explore it, fulfil the need to explore it safely, etc. Lots can be found, one link here.

http://earlychildcare.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/schemas-e28093-how-to-understand-and-extend-children_s-behaviour.pdf

May help you look at it as a learning and play opportunity.
Sounds draining to have things broken but this too shall pass. smile

BabsAndTheRu Wed 09-Jan-13 20:44:15

My MIL can be like that as well, she wanted to see the boys in the bath once and stood and allowed them to splash so much they flooded the entire bathroom and soaked her from head to toe, I swear to god we had to get her a change of clothes. She didn't want to give them into trouble but didn't think to shout us to get them to stop. I was mad at the time, not that she new, but now thinking of her standing there soaked and letting it happen can't help laughing, I mean what's that all about?

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 20:46:25

They just love them so much and really want to be loved too. Poor granny isn't even his favourite relative but I think she will be when he figures that one out...

RedHelenB Wed 09-Jan-13 20:50:37

Wait till he decides to cut every piece of string of all his toy cranes like my ds did aged 4!

BabsAndTheRu Wed 09-Jan-13 20:52:11

Yeah, it's amazing how quickly they learn who's the soft touch.

McNewPants2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 20:52:21

Thanks to toy story 3 I felt rather emotional throwing Woody out, got ds a replacement and then I felt guilty at replacing woody.

cakebar Wed 09-Jan-13 20:55:59

Fakebook - it's not usual for kids to break things all the time! If my 5 yo broke one or two things a week they would soon have no stuff and I would not buy them any more and not let them have any gifts either. They could play with loo roll tubes and bits of paper and other rubbish until they got past it!

A 2 yo is different. That this toy broke is a shame. You've got to get him past the throwing, same as I have to get my 2 yo past pushing and others have to get past whatever other annoying things they do at this age.

I hate kids breaking stuff on purpose. I have seen kids sitting ripping up pages in books whilst their parents do nothing. If kids like that come to my house I don't let them upstairs and carefully select what is left downstairs to play with.

bedmonster Wed 09-Jan-13 21:11:35

Fakebook - it's not usual for kids to break things all the time! If my 5 yo broke one or two things a week they would soon have no stuff and I would not buy them any more

Cake I was just going tosay exactly this! I am actually shocked by so many casual attitudes towards kids breaking things. My DC would have punished in an age appropriate way for destroying their belongings. It shows no pride nor appreciation in what they have been given.

OP, I think your reaction to want to cry over a broken toy is extreme but at least you care. Hopefully your DS has picked up that you are very disappointed and will start to get the message soon.

Delatron Wed 09-Jan-13 21:12:23

We bought DS a wooden castle for christmas (DP's choice, I wanted the plastic playmobil one). It cost £100 and it is already broken. That along with the expensive wooden farm he got for his birthday. Plastic tat from now on...!

I agree that a 2 year old breaking things due to overenthusiasm is different to a 5 year old playing roughly with no care for their toys. I've had other children in my house who fell into both camps (who have broken my DS's toys angry ) I can be sympathetic to a toddler doing it but at 5 I'd be wondering why they hadn't been taught to be gentle and appreciate toys andsilently fume.

OP I'm sure your DS will miss his nice new fire engine too and may remember having to say good bye to it next time he is throwing toys about.

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 21:18:19

DH has arrived home and declares it may be fixable, but is going to be confiscated until DS gets over this phase. He is surprisingly practical and phlegmatic about it. Clearly I am the only tearful pregnant person in this house.

Meglet Wed 09-Jan-13 21:20:55

Mine have broken toys before New Year before.

This is why I love Lego, it can't actually be broken and if you lose one bit the whole toy isn't ruined.

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 21:26:50

Eek. Might get some advice over in behaviour and development then. I thought it was normal. confused.

ladymariner Wed 09-Jan-13 21:38:01

Toys getting damaged accidentally is normal, toys getting broken on purpose is bad behaviour and needs rectifying before they get invited to other children's houses to play and then mysteriously don't get invited back.....sorry x

Fakebook - breaking toys might mean the child has a connection/disconnection schema going on; do they also like snapping breadsicks before eating, magnets, building wooden train tracks, breaking up jigsaws?

schema info

ladymariner Wed 09-Jan-13 21:41:21

That sounded quite harsh, sorry....it just really winds me up when toys get broken through bad behaviour. Ds was always really careful with his toys and he had a friend who was wild....I was the same as the above poster and locked everything other than the truly unbreakable stuff away because otherwise it just got wrecked when this boy came to play. He used to ask where the train sets were.....ha, no bloody chance of him getting his mitts on those!!!

amazingly apposite x post

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 21:43:24

But she doesn't do it on purpose. She takes a lot of care over her things but they either get into the hands of her brother or she leaves them in a "safe place" and they get trodden on. She doesn't break them intentionally and when they do break she is too scared to tell me and cries and apologises immediately. Last time she broke her ring she came to me with it behind her back and started crying saying she's sorry. So I can't exactly punish her when she is remorseful and is sorry. Unless I'm supposed to punish her regardless?

Fakebook start a thread my dear, in B and D, i'll be over with my early years hat on x

McNewPants2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 21:49:14

Fakebook it doesn't sound like she is doing it on purpose.

Accidents happen, and if she is anything like my dd she is very accident prone she can fall over a hairline crack

Peka Wed 09-Jan-13 21:50:21

Fakebook I was going to say that I break things all the time and my dad did too - we are/were habitual clumsy footlers which is not good news for small things. Perhaps she's just a bit like that? Come to think of it, the apple doesn't fall far from this tree...

Iggly Wed 09-Jan-13 21:53:48

YABU

Dont give 2 year olds any wooden fancy shit toys.

Plastic tat all the way.

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 22:47:28

Sorry for hijacking your thread Peka blush.

I think she is just very accident prone and doesn't take care of her belongings sometimes. Otherwise she is a very pleasant little girl!

Boysarelikedogs, she doesn't break breadsticks, she gnaws at them like a rabbit, doesn't break jigsaws. Not a train track fan but loves magnets. I'm just hoping its a phase... A long phase. She has to grow up and realise what she's doing some time, right? No complaints from school either grin.

Sorry Peka, hope your DH fixes the bus.

Iggly Thu 10-Jan-13 06:52:25

Boys I will start a thread as very interested in your earlier link.

valiumredhead Thu 10-Jan-13 08:42:03

Why are you angry with your child and not the manufacturer's of such a badly made toy? confused If it can't stand up to being lobbed around a bit it's obviously not fit for the job.

Toys get broken.

Twattybollocks Thu 10-Jan-13 09:37:30

Toys get damaged, it's a fact of life, and 2yo kids do throw things. They also do things like writing on walls and hitting other toddlers. Doesn't mean its acceptable behaviour, and that you shouldn't try to correct it. If he likes the sound of banging stuff, get the saucepans and wooden spoon out as a drum kit to play with. If he starts throwing toys, remove them and say "we don't throw toys because then they get broken and we can't play with them anymore"
Broken bus will be an excellent learning point on what happens if you treat your toys badly!

maddening Thu 10-Jan-13 10:17:33

Why didn't granny stop him - with a heavy wooden toy it's not just the danger of breaking the toy but the tv/granny etc too.

ukatlast Thu 10-Jan-13 12:05:30

Yes, those hormones have a lot to answer for. Get a grip, it's a material object of no value, whereas your son is a wonderful developing human being. Do not glue it back on ever in similar situations as the parts are potential choking hazards. Broken toys of any kind should go straight in the bin.

imogengladhart Thu 10-Jan-13 12:47:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu Thu 10-Jan-13 12:53:21

It's a shame, but I bet he will still enjoy the bus even with one wheel missing.

And use it to help encourage him to learn. 'oh no, the bus is poorly now, what happened? You threw the bus and the wheel came off, poor bus, broken, can't go sad ' etc.

You've focussed lots of things on the bus - your DH choosing it, the loveliness of it, and you are pg and sentimental. I was SO sentimental when pg, projected my mummy-nesting feelings on to all sorts of things.

I hope things feel less upsetting today.

Peka Thu 10-Jan-13 14:15:15

Hi thanks for messages and grips. Yes weirdly today I am quite over the whole thing and have firm hold of grip (until I watch OBEM on 4OD of course...). DS has also been much better behaved than usual - will probably last about 5 mins.

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