Aibu to be more than a bit miffed that DD's coat has gone missing from nursery?

(72 Posts)

That's it in a nutshell really...

DD's coat was not there on the last day of term before Xmas. I assumed that somebody had picked it up by mistake and that it would be returned after the holidays.

No sign of it....

It's quite an unusual coat and I've never seen any other children wearing the same one. It wasn't cheap either.

Nursery have checked if it has been handed in but there's nothing they can do.

Anyone else had similar? What did you do? It sounds a bit 'hand wringey' but I'm not impressed that there is a coat pincher in our midst!

Sprite21 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:28:04

That's awful. I don't blame you for being annoyed and the nursery should be taking it seriously not just trying to fob you off. Was her name in it? Even if not, a parent knows their child's coat so this sounds like outright theft.

Livingintheburbmum Wed 09-Jan-13 19:30:09

Did you put a name label in it OP

Her name wasn't on it...but there was a ruddy big badge on the front with her name on it (birthday recently)!

I was hoping that the nursery would maybe send a note home with the children telling them that this coat had gone missing and can they please check... but they haven't offered to do anything about it and I feel a bit of a mug.

It's a very popular nursery in a 'nice area', so this has really spoiled my rose-tinted view of the place.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 09-Jan-13 19:33:25

YANBU,but unfortunately these things happen all the time. I wouldn't be so quick to assume that it has been stolen, sometimes in schools and nurseries things do just seem to disappear.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:35:58

Happens all the time I'm afraid, especially in 'Naice' nurseries - it's how some people keep up with the Jones, and why I never spend more than £6-£8 on a winter coat on ebay whilst dc are at primary. It's not worth spending £30-£40 for it to go in the communal 'pot'.

Sanjifair Wed 09-Jan-13 19:38:37

My DH came home with the wrong coat from nursery once, 'because it was on his peg so I assumed it was his!'

Could have been a dipsy person like my DH who took it, rather than outright theft. I made sure it went back the next day, mind.

Do they have a newsletter? They could mention it in that? Was your child's name in it? Have the staff asked the other parents? My DS's coat disappeared once too once and came back after a couple of weeks. It was a dipsy DH that time too.

DonderandBlitzen Wed 09-Jan-13 19:40:11

Have the nursery sent out an email to ask parents to look for it at home?

DonderandBlitzen Wed 09-Jan-13 19:41:56

Sorry I see they haven't. Ask if they can do this.

There was a badge with her name on it, but I suppose it's easily removed. It's a really distinctive coat though - multicoloured with horses sigh
Sounds more horrible than it is wink

They haven't mentioned putting it in a newsletter and I don't think that they 'do emails'. I thought that they would at least put a notice up at the door or ask around. I feel silly asking them each afternoon if it's shown up yet.

ProphetOfDoom Wed 09-Jan-13 19:45:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMelons Wed 09-Jan-13 19:45:43

I would imagine someone has taken it TBH, apparently this happens in many schools/nurseries, someone even told me that people unpick hand sewn labels and that people swap for a newer/nicer jumper or coat.

It should have had her name in but TBH that may not have made any difference.

At my pre-school we would either stick it in the next newsletter or put a notice up on the door but other than that I don't really see what else they can do.

DS1's school are really good when people lose stuff and put notices up everywhere, DS2's school are dreadful and their answer to it is to buy another one!

ProphetOfDoom Wed 09-Jan-13 19:47:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'll maybe print out a Missing note and take it with me- with the lurid coat in all it's glory!

I can afford to buy DD another coat, although hadn't budgeted for it this month obviously which isn't great. It does feel a bit petty but I am really irritated about the principle of the whole thing.

OnlyWantsOne Wed 09-Jan-13 19:50:26

At our nursery there is a pin board in the reception / cloak room and I put a poster up asking for my DD's coat & gruffalo umbrella back - the nursery had already mentioned it on newsletter but no response.

3 days later it was back on her peg

Backtobedlam Wed 09-Jan-13 19:50:30

Definately ask if they can email out-my dh has no idea which coat, towel, swim bag etc belong to our dc's so could easily pick the wrong thing up. If I then didn't notice it until a short time after term ended, or something, I'd assume it belonged to someone who'd been round to ours rather than a child at nursery. Fc its an honest mistake.

Ok, second point of the day then: Can anyone recommend decent online kids shops with a sale on wink

DonderandBlitzen Wed 09-Jan-13 19:55:47

Yes print out a photo of one like it from a website to go with the note. Don't be afraid to ask them to put it in the newsletter as they've not thought to offer.

PoppyWearer Wed 09-Jan-13 19:57:38

If it's the one from Joules I'm thinking of, I can see why you're annoyed - v.nice/expensive!

YANBU to be annoyed/upset/miffed.

We also live in a naice area, naice nursery/schools but the DCs go to nursery/school in coats from Tesco or from the sales, never cost more than about £12, it just isn't worth it, not least because they need to be washed twenty bazillion times a week after getting dirty. We keep the nice coats for visiting MIL weekends.

PoppyWearer Wed 09-Jan-13 19:59:30

Hatley coats are in the same style as that Joules one but about £20-25 a pop, and wash/last well. You can get them from Amazon, eBay and other online retailers, sometimes garden centres and John Lewis.

Or seriously, for nursery - buy a coat from the supermarket.

It is the Joules one Poppywearer! Obviously an eyecatching one lol.

I am getting the idea with the 'cheap coat' 'naice coat' conundrum. It's to be minus 4 next week apparently so I had better order something quick!

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Wed 09-Jan-13 20:00:13

I picked up a coat from a charity shop for DS to wear to nursery - but that was because I didn't want him to wreck his nice little wool duffle coat whilst playing outside. I didn't like it at all, and if we went anywhere other than home straight from nursery, I'd have his usual one in the car.

OwlCatMouse Wed 09-Jan-13 20:03:20

Yep, this is why we have a boden/joules/hatley coat for home - and Sainsbury's for school/nursery.

landofsoapandglory Wed 09-Jan-13 20:08:53

Some people are just horrible. I don't understand why you would steal another child's coat.

Matalan coats are good for cheapies, they can be ordered online and do next day delivery if that helps, especially as we are meant to be getting snow!

MimmeeBack Wed 09-Jan-13 20:24:38

Is it possible that a child got picked up by somebody other than the usual pick up/drop off person before Christmas and the child picked up the wrong coat & it wasn't noticed? I know DD sometimes just grabs the nearest one and have seen others do it too. A picture on the notice board or in the newsletter might just jog somebody's memory or shame the thief into returning it!

If you have a chance see if there is a factory store or seconds store in your town.
Got DD a John Lewis coat for £10 its lovely & really warm.

GoingVerySlowlyMad Wed 09-Jan-13 20:44:12

Landofsoap My 7 yr old DD had a Joules raincoat taken from the pegs at a dance class. When they came out of the class DD's coat was the only one missing and nobody had left early. My DD was devastated as my DM had bought it for her and there was no chance that I could afford to replace it. I kicked up an almighty fuss and did not let it drop, it miraculously turned up 3 weeks later. Another girl had a Cath Kidston backpack go missing, people don't care who they take from all they see is the monetary value and there is a HUGE 2nd hand market for designer kids stuff.

somedayma Wed 09-Jan-13 21:18:12

yanbu I'd be raging at the cheek of whoever took it! I agree with the idea of putting a poster on the noticeboard asking for it to be returned. And include a picture. The twat parent who took it will hopefully panic/ feel ashamed and return it

DeWe Wed 09-Jan-13 21:32:15

Could easily be another child fancying it and going home with childminder/friend/someone who wouldn't know (and I'm sure my dh wouldn't blush)

Have you named it? In which case ask to put up a notice asking people to check.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 09-Jan-13 21:47:01

Happens all the time I'm afraid, especially in 'Naice' nurseries - it's how some people keep up with the Jones, and why I never spend more than £6-£8 on a winter coat on ebay whilst dc are at primary. It's not worth spending £30-£40 for it to go in the communal 'pot'.

God, really? Honestly can't imagine anyone at our school stooping to that. Really can't. That's awful. And imagine if they got caught? shock

people don't care who they take from all they see is the monetary value and there is a HUGE 2nd hand market for designer kids stuff.

^ This ^

Getting worried now. Bought both dds nice coats at Christmas. Think I'll go and write their name and phone numbers all over the inside in fuck off great big permanent ink letters.

McNewPants2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 21:54:53

I have resorted to putting DC names on the outside of items now, surprising nothing has gone missing since.

harryhausen Wed 09-Jan-13 22:07:13

I have to admit to having another boys coat for over 6 monthshmm

My son had the same coat. It must have been the last day that he needed a winter coat that he came home in another boys coat. The thing was it was exactly the same and u just blindly put it on the coat hooks under the stairs. When it came to this winter term, I went through the coats and found two of ds' with the other boys name clearly on it.

I returned it to the boys mum at school the next day, apologising profusely. I felt really flakey. The mum was really fine about it - even though she'd bought her ds a new coat for the winterhmm

This coat was only from Next though, not a designer/joules one. Could be anyway possible that something like this could have happened?

marquesas Wed 09-Jan-13 22:14:58

When my DCS were at nursery there were often notices on doors and notes in bags about missing clothes I'd definitely ask them to do that.

I had a school coat go missing for a while and eventually returned by a very sheepish parent who'd accidently swept it up with her stuff and not realised it was in her car.

I wouldn't give up hope just yet.

3smellysocks Wed 09-Jan-13 23:08:12

the nursery should write a letter for parents, asking if anyone has accidentally taken the cost home with them.

witchface Wed 09-Jan-13 23:11:08

DD got a Joules coat from DMil for christmas (as well as the horse gillet and long sleeve top for her birthday) and I definitely won't be sending her to nursery in it now! Think now that DSis-in-law has a posh partner she is trying to drag the rest of us up in the world blush. Oh well will be a nice change for her from asda gear!

Notcontent Wed 09-Jan-13 23:18:41

It's really annoying for nice things to go missing.
DD used to always have a cheap coat (usually from a charity shop!) for nursery and a nicer one for other times!

We have had things stolen at the playground and at soft play.

renlo Wed 09-Jan-13 23:25:53

A Peppa Pig hooded top (dd1s favourite at the time) disappeared from her peg at nursery 18 months ago. At the time she was really upset and we had tears for days. nursery staff really tried to help locate it by asking all the parents and got nowhere. 2 weeks ago, the top just appeared on DD2s peg at the same nursery! We know its hers because it still has her name written on the label in my distinctive sharpie laundry pen hand! The mind boggles. It's now DD2s favourite top. Mind you, last summer, DD2 spent a week in another child's clarks doodles- same colour so easy to confuse. Only noticed because I twigged they were looking a bit smaller than I though they should on her as I had deliberately bought a half size up to last her the summer. I took it back the minute I realised. These things happen, though I hope for your sake,OP that it doesn't take 18months for your daughters coat to be returned!

I have them a 'missing' notice to put up today and asked if they would ask around. They said that they hadn't realised that it was 'THAT' coat, as it's very distinctive, and that they were quite sure no other children wore it to nursery.

Hopefully it will turn up, I'm not overly optimistic about it though.

We spent extra money on 'good' coats for a reason: DD is out and about on a farm often and it's bloody freezing (Scotland). It's annoying because I just want my daughter to have nice things so it makes me a bit down in the dumps when something/someone spoils it.

Fwiw, we've also 'lost' a pair of Aigle wellies at toddler group and a maclaren/cath kidston pram that was nabbed at the park.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 10-Jan-13 13:24:55

It might just be that the child isn't back from the holidays yet. Try asking if there are any still 'away' who might have accidentally taken it home. Though how you take a coat like that accidentally is a bit beyond me!!

Lonelybunny Thu 10-Jan-13 13:28:53

Someone took my 5 yr old dd's scooter from the playground sad and never have seen it again and it was only a cheap £20 one. She was very upset and it was brand new . Everyone who cycles or scoots to school leaves them there and takes them back at the end of the day. I think it is the lowest of the low stealing from a child because that's what it is is stealing !

Lonelybunny Thu 10-Jan-13 13:30:40

An email was even sent out saying the description of the scooter but nothing sad but I'm afraid it happens . A friend of mine had a friend that used to purposely go through lost property to find the best school jumpers angry

MrsMelons Thu 10-Jan-13 13:30:42

DSs infant school have things stolen from their bike sheds frequently. We all lock our stuff up individually now. One of the after care assistants had her bike stolen - she was so upset.

CointreauVersial Thu 10-Jan-13 13:31:23

I think it's just one of those things you have to expect - at some point in your DC's life something will get nicked/lost/left somewhere. We have lost an expensive pair of trainers that DS left on a football pitch, also a school PE kit (will doubtless turn up eventiually), and DD1 is extremely scatty so has left hats, cardigans, water bottles and scarves in cafes and buses across the south-east.

I have also found other children's stuff in my DCs' wardrobes - usually stuff like school cardigans - but also football tops, wellies and tights hmm. All taken by mistake and returned, but sometimes not as quickly as it should be!

Just think twice before sending them to school/nursery with expensive items. The supermarkets/Primark/Matalan do perfectly good cheap coats which you won't be too upset to lose.

sparkle12mar08 Thu 10-Jan-13 13:32:22

'Fraid so Ilovemydog - theft is also why I label the ds's school jumpers with black sharpie on the inside collar/neck in BIG letters - it's instantly visible when he takes it off, and we've never had one stolen since I started doing it. No chance of overlooking it. Maybe I'm jaundiced but I believe that most lost property isn't lost at all - it's taken deliberately. And I live in a nice leafy, very middle class/aspirational area and the children go to a Outstanding rated school...

Lonelybunny Thu 10-Jan-13 13:36:31

Same sparkly it's disgusting tho how can you put a stolen item on your child ? They probably wrapped up my dd's scooter and gave it to their dd for Xmas ! I still look for it everyday as I am hoping one day they will slip up !

chris481 Thu 10-Jan-13 13:41:32

My DW drops DD at nursery, I pick her up. I assume whatever she's wearing belongs to her, several times she's come home in clothes DW has subsequently informed me aren't hers. Not a jacket, that I can remember, but socks, shirts, trousers, I think even some sandals once. She seems to have permanently inherited someone's fleecy hat. (I thought there was something not quite right when the nursery worker handed over two hats when i picked her up. She does have two or three hats of her own.) Nursery worker didn't seem that keen to locate the real owner of the extra hat when I mentioned it.

Lonelybunny Thu 10-Jan-13 13:45:06

A hat is easily mistakened tho chris but an unusual looking coat or a scooter I think us more easy to remember if it's your child or not. Mind you my OH would probably not notice as he doesn't really take much notice of what the girls are wearing !

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Thu 10-Jan-13 21:25:43

God sparkle that's awful. I just can't imagine anyone I know at our school doing that. Mind you it's quite a small school so do know everyone. am v naive though

KristinaM Thu 10-Jan-13 21:34:21

The moral of this is only buy cheap clothes for nursery. If they are not lost they will get paint or glue on them .

I second the view that it will probably turn up as its the boot of grannies/childminders car. But I understand that it's very annoying.

And sorry, but I'm a bit hmm that your child has to have a joules coat as she s out and about on a farm in Scotland . We live on a farm in Scotland and all the kids here wear overalls, wellies and muddy old jackets. You must be on the most stylish farm in the country grin

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 10-Jan-13 21:35:29

My daughters shoe went missing after PE a week before the winter term finished, still hasnt appeared, its bizarre how things go missing, shoe had a big green sticker in it with her name in too.

Smudging Thu 10-Jan-13 21:39:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kristina, it has great fleecey lining and will do her for a couple of years. By that logic it is almost a cheap coat as she'll get the wear out of it wink

I think that a 'Most Stylish Farm' contest is required, although it will probably be quite horrendous and be a bit smelly wink

Smudging, I don't think that I spend too much on kids clothes. I'm quite frugal but will buy one or two 'good' pieces that will go with everything and last. It all gets passed to nieces anyway so it's saving our family money in the long run!

TraineeBabyCatcher Thu 10-Jan-13 23:38:43

This is why I purchased the fairly cheap school coat and a plain navy fleece for ds- they're nothing to write home about so not really worth nicking.
He knows he's not allowed to where his Joules one that grandma bought him to school.
Our school is a very good school generally but its pretty bad for theft of items, or things going missing because even the teachers don't seem to check things for names.

seeker Thu 10-Jan-13 23:44:11

Children should have clothes that either you or they have to worry about -apart from special occasion clothes obviously. Life's too short. Truly.

seeker Thu 10-Jan-13 23:44:41

Should not. Obviously.

Icelollycraving Thu 10-Jan-13 23:54:13

I think you may get it back on Monday. Some people are lucky enough to have a really long Christmas break.
Ds brought home a coat from nursery that I assumed was his,same size/colour/brand & was on his peg. By the time we got home,nursery was closed so took it back next morning (after doing a double take that he now had two). There was already laminated signs up & a death stare from the mum. Accidents happen.

Icelollycraving Thu 10-Jan-13 23:55:43

Check eBay to see if it's on a local listing. Just a thought.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 10-Jan-13 23:58:26

Ice You know that wouldnt surprise me if someone did that, since its a decent coat.

Icelollycraving Fri 11-Jan-13 00:00:01

Well if it's unusual they can hardly send their dd in wearing it so it may be possible.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 11-Jan-13 00:12:31

Ice, There are people around who are that stupid, you always get one.

Well that's a turn up for the books : It was magically on DD's peg today!

Faith is restored in humankind (for the time being....!)

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 11-Jan-13 16:01:14

Magically turned up or the person who had it has stealthily put it back there?

No idea, I was pretty early in so they must have been in first thing, or it was in the nursery all along and they're just not mentioning it to me....!

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 11-Jan-13 16:25:53

You may never know Mrs but atleast you got it back, my daughters school shoe seems to have done a runner.

KristinaM Fri 11-Jan-13 16:40:05

Told you ! < sticks out tongue childishly >

PoppyWearer Fri 11-Jan-13 16:54:56

Glad to hear it turned up!

I found an Esprit coat for my DD in the local charity shop today for £5, will be perfect for school.

neriberi Fri 11-Jan-13 17:10:26

This has just happened to me!

My son has a spare raincoat that lives in his bag at nursery (were told to do this by nursery), its got his name sewn in it however it went missing just before Christmas and is now nowhere to be seen. The nursery staff have all looked for it (so they say) and can't find it. It wasn't an expensive coat by any means, I anticipated "stuff" going missing at nursery so don't send anything decent with him. All his spare clothes & shoes are dirt cheap and easily replaced.

marquesas Fri 11-Jan-13 17:56:40

Yeah, glad you've got it back, please tell us that it now has a huge name in permanent ink in it grin

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 11-Jan-13 18:05:27

Handy thing to have, my mum insisted on getting her GC, custom iron on name tags for the school clothes, my daughter has ones in pink with a butterfly on it and stickers with the same for other stuff, must ask her where she got them from.

ProphetOfDoom Fri 11-Jan-13 18:10:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyWearer Fri 11-Jan-13 22:16:31

Noooo, don't write name with a marker - that coat will sell on eBay for £20 second hand!

You want some easy tags. Removable. <taps nose>

Lol, very wise. I think we'll get another year out of it and then it'll go into storage until my niece is big enough for it. In the meantime I've sewn a label into it with DD's name.

Wish I had a big sister with kids to inherit clothes from!!!

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 11-Jan-13 22:22:27

Mrs Thats my mum does with my DD's old clothes, either go to my Niece or ebay.

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