To be a bit miffed that no one has remembered our anniversary?

(96 Posts)
phantomhairpuller Wed 09-Jan-13 17:33:48

We only got married 3 years ago! Out of 100 odd guests, only 2 have wished us happy anniversary!! None of our parents have mentioned it, nor the best man/bridesmaids.
DH thinks I'm being daft but I can't help but feel a bit miffed hmm

BellaVita Wed 09-Jan-13 17:35:16

You are being a bit precious over it!

As long as you and DH remember it that is all that matters.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 09-Jan-13 17:36:09

God - I'm lucky to remember my own let alone anyone elses.

Unless its 25 or 50 years then you are being unreasonable.

Lulumama Wed 09-Jan-13 17:36:16

did you really expect 100 anniversary wishes? i'd expect from DH, my parents, his paretns and siblings. that's it really. as long as you guys remembered then that;s great !

I kind of know how you feel, but at the same time I'm dreadful for remembering other people's anniversaries so am a bit of a hypocrite. Anyway - happy anniversary.

firawla Wed 09-Jan-13 17:36:53

other people dont normally remember your wedding anniversary, its more for you and your dh
people go to a lot of weddings, cant remember all of them!
if your dh forget then yanbu but as it is - yabu

abbierhodes Wed 09-Jan-13 17:37:46

YABU. Your anniversary is for you, it doesn't mean anything to anyone else. Do you remember everyone else's? If so I'd find that a bit odd.
I only send my parents a card if it's a 'big one'.

RuleBritannia Wed 09-Jan-13 17:38:32

I send anniversary cards for the first anniversary and then the big 0s (except for Silver etc).

IDrankAllTheGravy Wed 09-Jan-13 17:39:26

See I never remember anyone anniversaries, but then I don't expect them to remember ours. I feel that it's a personal thing to celebrate between the couple, no one else.

TheFallenMadonna Wed 09-Jan-13 17:39:34

Our anniversary is for DH and me. I find it odd when people define their relationships in terms of bridesmaids/best men after the wedding.

YorkshireDeb Wed 09-Jan-13 17:40:01

I get a card for my parents & it's a struggle to remember that. I have no idea when anyone else's is. If you want people to remember next year try talking about it lots in the week running up to it. X

Nixea Wed 09-Jan-13 17:40:02

Same as RuleBritannia, I send a card for the first one and then only on the significant ones. I barely remember my own let alone anyone else's!

YABU a teeny bit precious.

EuroShagmore Wed 09-Jan-13 17:40:11

Really? My parents send us a card on ours. I think a few people marked the first anniversary but that's it. It's really for the couple to celebrate. I wouldn't really expect anything from anyone else.

If you are a bit emotionally needy, my top tip would be to post on Facebook "Happy Anniversary to wonderful hubby. I can't believe it has been three years already!!!!!" and change your profile pic to one from your wedding. That should generate some congratulations.

MrsHoarder Wed 09-Jan-13 17:40:24

I wouldn't expect anniversary cards off anyone (except DH and possibly DM). Do you send a card to everyone you know on their anniversary?

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 09-Jan-13 17:40:41

YABU, it's your anniversary for you and your DH to celebrate, everyone else has moved on.

I never send cards or even recall other people's anniversary dates. My mum used to end us a card which I thought was slightly odd, even she didn't bother this year.

AngelsWithSilverWings Wed 09-Jan-13 17:41:02

I remember being quite confused when we received first anniversary cards as I had always thought that anniversaries were for the couple to celebrate alone.

I've never sent an anniversary card to anyone unless it was for silver or ruby one.

jumpingjackhash Wed 09-Jan-13 17:42:20

Anniversaries are really only special to the couple, perhaps their parents too (depending on the nature of the relationship of course). You can't expect everyone else to remember anniversaries - can you imagine having to remember and send a card for every anniversary of every wedding you went to?!

It's our wedding anniversary today too.
Happy anniversary.
Only the pils remembered today. They are buying us a present and got us a card. Everyone else remembered after seeing my fb status, including my mum.
I wouldn't worry tbh, it is for you and your dh.

BackforGood Wed 09-Jan-13 17:44:40

Agree with everyone else - anniversaries are only special to the couple and not always then, so I wouldn't expect any cards (although MiL ends cards for everything, she's in the minority)

Hulababy Wed 09-Jan-13 17:45:50

We don't send cards or recall wedding anniversaries tbh, bar the first for close family/friends. I just about remember my own and wish DH a happy anniversary!
f I know a special one is coming up, generally having heard about it from someone beforehand, then I will try and remember to send a card.

rubberducky24 Wed 09-Jan-13 17:45:54

sorry but I think YABU - I love sending cards but think it's becoming a thing of the past. I send one to my parents and grandparents, sent one to my best friend on their first anniversary last year (I was chief bridesmaid and DH was best man, otherwise probably wouldn't have bothered.) Probs won't send one to them this year. I think wedding anniversaries are only special for the couple involved, too many other dates to remember so I would never expect anyone to remember mine. I would be touched to get a card but wouldn't expect one off anyone nowadays.

Lambzig Wed 09-Jan-13 17:46:46

YABU How strange. I would be a bit miffed if DH forgot, but certainly dont expect anyone else to, neither would I remember anyone else's, even if we have been bridesmaids etc.

I have only ever sent anything to anyone for a silver or gold wedding anniversary.

knackeredmother Wed 09-Jan-13 17:47:08

Not one person has ever remembered ours ,family included. I thought that was pretty standard but was pissed off the first year.

Autumn12 Wed 09-Jan-13 17:47:33

YABU. Your anniversary is really only important to you and your DH.

diabolo Wed 09-Jan-13 17:47:53

Totally U sorry.

Only you and your DH should care about it, it's your anniversary. Only really special anniversaries should be celebrated by others.

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 17:49:06

Yabu. Your anniversary is only special to you and your DH because that's the day you were joined in matrimony. A big majority of your 100 guests that day only came for the free food and booze. Sad but true. Get over it.

vintagewarrior Wed 09-Jan-13 17:49:19

Shock! Horror! The world doesn't revolve around you.
Who sends anniversary cards anymore?

MrsBrrrr Wed 09-Jan-13 17:49:58

I agree with your DH, OP, you are being a wee bit daft. It only matters to the two of you.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 09-Jan-13 17:51:57

Happy anniversary, it's a shame you feel slighted, is it the time of year do you think and people are still getting over the holidays? Do you remember other people's significant dates? Maybe adjust expectations next year.

TheCountessOlenska Wed 09-Jan-13 17:53:06

Oh come on! YABU!

sunnysunnyshine Wed 09-Jan-13 17:53:24


Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 17:54:22

This is sad but true:

No one gives a shit about your anniversary

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, just want to save you time and anguish.

Jins Wed 09-Jan-13 17:54:25

I'm sorry to tell you but it's a completely meaningless occasion to the majority of your friends. They probably enjoyed your wedding though

Do you send anniversary cards to all your friends?

DonderandBlitzen Wed 09-Jan-13 17:55:00

I've never expected anyone to remember my anniversary other than my husband and have never remembered anyone else's.

VariousBartimaeus Wed 09-Jan-13 17:55:42

Wow never crossed my mind to remember other peoples anniversary! Yabu

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 17:56:56

Wouldn't occur to me to remember anyone else's anniversary - do people really do that?! I just about remember our own!

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 17:57:15

And what hully said grin

Osmiornica Wed 09-Jan-13 17:57:28

YABU. I have a friend who always sends us an anniversary card. I find it sweet but unecessary. I don't send them to anyone else and don't know of anyone who does either. It's normally just something the couple celebrate isn't it?

PeazlyPops Wed 09-Jan-13 17:58:17

YABU. No-one cares!

CloudsAndTrees Wed 09-Jan-13 17:58:19

Yabu. Anniversaries are for the couple to remember and their grown up children only.

Other people will buy you a card and congratulate you when you throw a party to celebrate a significant anniversary, such as your 25th.

Gintonic Wed 09-Jan-13 17:58:28

YABU. My friends are lucky if I can remember their birthdays, I'm not going to start sending anniversary cards too.

mercibucket Wed 09-Jan-13 17:59:10

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mercibucket Wed 09-Jan-13 17:59:11

Is this thread sponsored by hallmark?

phantomhairpuller Wed 09-Jan-13 17:59:58

Ok ok I get the message! I'm being hugely unreasonable it seems! Thanks all grin

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 09-Jan-13 18:00:24

Think of the environment grin

My parents sent us a card this year, which was nice but not really necessary. Otherwise we just sent cards to each other.

Pizdets Wed 09-Jan-13 18:03:00

Oooh, snap! We got married 3 years ago today - how did you cope with the snow? I'm afraid I do think you're B a bit U - I tend to judge people by my own standards and I'm awful with this stuff, I don't remember anyone else's!

(although as per pp I did put a little note on Facebook to thank our guests for making so much effort in all the snow 3 years ago and have had some lovely messages back!)


somuchslimmernow Wed 09-Jan-13 18:08:00

Agree with eveyone else. It is our silver this year, we are going away for the weekend, just us (and the kids) its our celebration, no one elses.

YouOldSlag Wed 09-Jan-13 18:09:35

OK, so you've realised YABU. But really you should only ever be miffed if your DH forgets.

We get a card off our Mums but we wouldn't mind if they forgot.

Dawndonna Wed 09-Jan-13 18:10:00

Sat in a cafe a few years back and dh asked when our anniversary was. I thought a bit and said, Oh, last Sunday, sorry.

We forgot last year, too. Been together twenty years. Just doesn't matter, fact is, we're still here and getting on with it, together.

racingheart Wed 09-Jan-13 18:13:13

TBH it would never occur to me that anyone would remember our anniversary. DH used to mock me because I forgot it and he never did. Not even my mum has ever remembered it and she organised the wedding.

Let people make a fuss of your silver, gold and ruby weddings. The rest are private celebrations.

Viviennemary Wed 09-Jan-13 18:13:17

I remember mine usually, but wouldn't expect anybody else to. Especially after three years. If nobody remembers to send you a card on your golden wedding then I think you might have cause for complaint.

Ephiny Wed 09-Jan-13 18:15:41

We haven't had our first anniversary yet, but I wouldn't expect anyone to remember or make a fuss about it. I've certainly never remembered anyone else's!

(the big question will be whether DH or I remember it...)

HyvaPaiva Wed 09-Jan-13 18:18:45

To be honest, I don't 'get' why wedding anniversaries are important to anyone except the couple. The marriage is the significant bit and that happens every day! Celebrating your lovely wedding memories and the anniversary of the start of married life is great for you and your DH privately but to except anyone else to care - not about your marriage itself but about the specific date - and be 'miffed' is to me a bit confused and precious really. Have a happy anniversary not a miffed one!

TickleMyTitsTillFriday Wed 09-Jan-13 18:20:41

We got a card from a friend on our first anniversary and I thought that was a bit weird to be honest, I couldn't give a flying toss about anyone's but mine.

CarlingBlackMabel Wed 09-Jan-13 18:22:15

Your parents might have sent you a card, some (parents) are more conscientious than others.

But honestly, it is ridiculous to expect anyone else to celebrate your 3rd wedding anniversary.

Even the most high maintenance Bridezillas should come down to earth after the honeymoon.

Squitten Wed 09-Jan-13 18:25:55

Nobody remembers ours and I can't say we remember anyone else's! We got a card or two on our first one but that was it.

We like to go out for a meal or something to celebrate another year of not murdering each other...

zlist Wed 09-Jan-13 18:30:32

I think it is fairly usual to send a card for the first anniversary but not after that. We only get one from PIL now. I used to get one from a very close friend too but now we just exchange anniversary congratulations via facebook.
I also used to send one to the closest friend above, but we both stopped (I probably stopped first as mine is a month after hers). I now only send to PIL (as they take the trouble to remember ours) and any 'special' anniversaries.

pictish Wed 09-Jan-13 18:41:59

I don't know anyone's anniversary - even if I was at the wedding!
In fact, dh and I forget our own anniversary.


DeafLeopard Wed 09-Jan-13 18:46:05

Well done for taking it on the chin OP.

FWIW DH and I often have to ask each other when it is - but then we have been married aaaaaaaaages

Livingintheburbmum Wed 09-Jan-13 19:26:49

Anniversaries are not like birthdays. Just for you and DP thus YABU. Sorry.

whois Wed 09-Jan-13 19:37:04


I think anniversaries are more of a private thing between a couple, unless you're having a 'special' one and throw a party.

MrsMelons Wed 09-Jan-13 19:39:53

I would expect my parents and brother to remember it as we are really close, FIL remembers also. SIL doesn't but she barely remembers to eat TBH so I forgive her grin We always give cards to my parents and DB/SIL and I would give close friends cards on their 1st anniversary or 'big' ones but not every year.

The funny thing is that everyone else remembered and arranged to meet up at ours for a takeaway but me and DH had forgotten and couldn't understand why everyone wanted to come round to see us on a Monday night blush

MrsMelons Wed 09-Jan-13 19:40:43

BTW I wouldn't expect any friends to remember but it was nice that a few sent FB messages but it wouldn't bother me if not.

mrsjay Wed 09-Jan-13 19:45:13

really nobody remembers after the first year maybe your parents/inlaw and your husband nobody sends cards for a 3rd it is your day not theirs you are celebrating your marraige not your wedding day iyswim

mrsjay Wed 09-Jan-13 19:48:02

my friend put on FB that she was grateful her HUSBAND remembered their aniversary (sp) as nobody else had <sad face> I was her bridesmaid and i sent her a card on her first but after that i dont think it matters till you get to the 25 mark but she was really pissed off with people.


I acknowledge first anniversaries, and maybe significant milestones like 10, 20, 25, etc.

I don't want people to send me anniversary cards every year. The date is significant and precious to DH and me but isn't anybody else's business.

DH and I know it's our anniversary when the ils give us a card grin

Op, nobody cares about your anniversary, but be reassured they don't care about anybodies , you're not being singled out smile

I've always seen anniversaries as being for the couple, no-one else. It's how I've been brought up, too - my parents would find it odd if I celebrated theirs - I would buy them a card for a "big" anniversary, but that's it.

DH, on the other hand, buys his parents cards and presents for theirs. He will do the same for his sister. I think it's a nice idea, yes, but it feels a bit strange to me.

JustAHolyFool Wed 09-Jan-13 20:01:29

God really? I don't even know when my anniversary is, or the anniversary of anyone I know.

do you remember everyone else's?

SanityClause Wed 09-Jan-13 20:03:20

Someone I work with always gives me an anniversary card, even though she wasn't at our wedding, and didn't even know us then.

She is the only person, (aside from DH, of course) who has ever given me an anniversary card. Frankly, I think it's weird.

chicaguapa Wed 09-Jan-13 20:06:28

I always send a card on the first anniversary when I've been to the wedding. But I wouldn't send them after that.

maddening Wed 09-Jan-13 20:06:51

I wouldn't expect anyone to remember - maybe my own parents at a push

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 09-Jan-13 20:09:53

YABU I never expect any, to me it's a couples thing so like getting a valentines card from someone who is not your partner

we get about 2 anniversary cards from immediate family and I even find that odd TBH, we never send them to anyone! even family!

the only time I'd expect one is for say a ruby anniversary where a party is thrown or similar

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 09-Jan-13 20:11:57

"Op, nobody cares about your anniversary, but be reassured they don't care about anybodies , you're not being singled out"

nicely put! I don't do anyones but my own, not even people who I was bridesmaid for

MrsMelons Wed 09-Jan-13 20:12:22

Headfirst grin

phantomhairpuller Wed 09-Jan-13 20:15:15

Actually, I do remember people's anniversarys. Don't send a card mind you, unless its a big one, but usually a text or fb message. Maybe that's the problem, I'm a weirdo in the minority and expect everyone else to be like me wink

Sanjifair Wed 09-Jan-13 20:17:25

YABU. The first anniversary, it would be nice if people remembered. After that it would be weird to get a card, unless its from very close family!

WiseKneeHair Wed 09-Jan-13 20:19:08

I'm sorry, but YABU.
Wedding anniversaries are for you and your DH, no one else.
I find it weird that I get a card from MIL, I would freak out if anyone's else sent me a card.
Do you send anniversary cards to anyone apart from your DH?

WidowWadman Wed 09-Jan-13 20:21:13

My husband and I forgot our first anniversary, and only remembered when a card from his grandmother arrived. I was actually stunned that anybody would send a card.

You're weird.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 09-Jan-13 20:24:58

yes you're wierd grin
I'd even find texts/FB messages wierd
unless I'd say, said "oh we're going to X for our anniversary" and on bumping into that person on our return they said "did you have a nice anniversary trip?" - that's okay grin, but people actually remembering our anniversary unpromted I'd find strange!

FredFredGeorge Wed 09-Jan-13 20:25:23

My MIL sent happy anniversary wishes on our first, it was the only way that my DP noticed the day. I can't understand why anyone would care about my anniversary, or I someone elses, it's not important.


My mum always sends us an anniversary card and if I am honest I think it is odd. I think it is for the couple to mark, not others.

acceptableinthe80s Wed 09-Jan-13 20:30:41

I only send a card to my parents but they deserve it because they've been happily married for 43 years. 3 years is nothing. I know couples who have two anniversaries,the day they got married and the day they met!

Please don't put it on fb, i find the whole wishing your Dh/Dw a happy anniversary on fb a bit odd. I had a friend waxing lyrical about her amazing dh on my news feed today, really just tell your partner no need to announce it to the rest of the world and it makes me a little nauseus.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 09-Jan-13 20:32:22

oh some people have more than two anniversaries
some people have 6 month anniversaries too confused - not quite sure how that works...

DrinkFeckArseGirls Wed 09-Jan-13 20:39:17

YABU. One of my closest and oldest friends got married, erm few years ago, hmmm, sometime in June. I even flew back to my country esp. fir that. No idea now when it was and I'm not expected to. confused

melliebobs Wed 09-Jan-13 20:40:35

As long as your dh remembered I don't think it really matters!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Wed 09-Jan-13 20:42:22

Definitely a weirdo. wink

Iamsparklyknickers Wed 09-Jan-13 21:35:15

You want a card - have a party. You'll get pressies then too wink

Get planning and you could start a trend for five year anniversary parties! Maybe that's why Seal and his ex renewed their vows every year <ponders>

Happy anniversary smile

No one has ever got us an anniversary card. Once the free food and wine was used up, their lives moved on. grin

duffybeatmetoit Wed 09-Jan-13 21:43:54

Yabu - it's you and your dh's anniversary not a general cause for celebration.

WileywithSageStuffing Wed 09-Jan-13 22:03:20

YABU. Give it another 10 years and you'll be grateful if your DH remembers!!!

city1984 Wed 09-Jan-13 22:56:41

I do understan op to a cerain extent. My mum always sent a card but sadly passed away in 2011. In laws normally sent cards but didn't this time. Sis also upset me as she made a big drama out of us forgetting to send cards (our mum had just died) but never sends cards herself. Sorry being self indulgent. Incidently my chief bridesmaid never got in touch when my mum died do Wouldn't expect anniversary card.

thegreylady Wed 09-Jan-13 23:40:55

Gosh dh and I struggle to remember our anniversary! I know dd's because she married on her birthday but not any of our other dc and I wouldn't dream of cards after the first :-) It is our silver soon and we will have a do for that-if we remember!

firesidechat Thu 10-Jan-13 09:28:21

The only card I would expect to get is the one from my husband. Even my grown up children wouldn't remember this date and I don't expect them to. I'm afraid to say that your anniversary is completely irrelevant to everyone else.


This is my very first YABU (or YANBU for that matter). Very exciting!

Trills Thu 10-Jan-13 09:30:32


Your anniversary is only special to you, not to anyone else.

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