Parking on my Drive

(121 Posts)
Granitetopping Tue 08-Jan-13 23:28:27

I own a house with a drive which is a single track - just wide enough for one car. My next door neighbour doesn't have a drive but she does have a car. She regularly parks on my drive when there are no more spaces on the road. I have asked her many many times not to park on my property - which is clearly marked as a private drive.

She is a single parent with a young child and I sometimes feel that I am bullying her when I ask her to move her car. I get so fed up with contantly banging on her door. She always apologies and moves her car - but I would like to formally warn her not to park again with a strongly worded letter from my solicitor because the thought of driving home each night and wondering if she is parked there again is slowly driving me mad.

AIBU to threaten her with a letter- or should I be more charitable?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Tue 08-Jan-13 23:32:53

YANBU but keep the tone formal rather than aggressive. Maybe start with a letter just from you first, and if it happens again go down the legal route.

Failing that just get gates that close.

Lueji Tue 08-Jan-13 23:36:02

Have you actually asked her not to park there anymore?
And explained that it is becoming really annoying?

Even having a young child, I'm sure they can walk a bit to get home.

If you can't do it face to face, then by letter.

starmaker7 Tue 08-Jan-13 23:39:45

YANBU get a sign saying unauthorised vehicles will be clamped ,see if she stops then ;0)

DeepRedBetty Tue 08-Jan-13 23:40:03

Oooh a parking thread!

Seriously, just to clarify, if she parks is she causing an obstruction? Can you/your visitors actually get past her or not? Because if she is, you have to stop it so that no precedent is being set, even if she is a nice person who is a single parent with no other options.

Do you have a fence? Does she need to climb over a fence to get home after parking on your property?

ShellyBoobs Tue 08-Jan-13 23:42:24

Can you put a chain across your drive maybe?

Can you get her towed?

It cost hundred of pounds and is a massive inconvenience to get a car out of a car pound.

Do you have a car Granitetopping? Is it possible that you use those parking bollards that go up and down with only a key that you have?

Or park her IN, ie on the road outside your house?

"I have asked her many many times not to park on my property - which is clearly marked as a private drive."
But she does it again? And again? shock I really don't see any need for you to be charitable here, she is taking the piss.

Oh, and you are not bullying her. The fact that you feel as if you are suggests that her skill in manipulation is as well-developed as her sense of entitlement.

Is the drive long enough to park behind her? And block her in? And refuse to move when she needs to use the car again? Because if she is happy to ignore your repeated requests, I really don't see a letter, even one from a solicitor, making any impact.

MrsPoglesWood Tue 08-Jan-13 23:56:10

Just get a chain and a padlock that goes across your drive. A 2m length of chain costs about £7.00 in Wickes and a padlock probably will cost about £10.00. Easily solved. You've told her, she's ignored you so now you need to prevent her from doing it.

HenryCrun Wed 09-Jan-13 00:01:22

I understand the need here not to poison neighbourly relations and end up embroiled in some long, bitter and unnecessarily personal dispute.

It sounds like you've made repeated requests but haven't actually threatened anything yet - so I do think you need to warn your neighbour, firmly and without malice, that you will have to take some kind of definitive action if she persists in parking there, because she is causing an obstruction by doing so. If the parking continues after the warning, then you have the go-ahead to get a chain and a padlock/install bollards/contact a solicitor/do whatever you wish to do.

Think of it as one of those awful long drawn-out HR grievance processes.

timidviper Wed 09-Jan-13 00:04:01

Henry has just said exactly what I was going to.
Tell her calmly and politely that it is an inconvenience and you will be forced to take action if it happens again

YDdraigGoch Wed 09-Jan-13 00:06:05

Oh block her in a few times just for the fun of seeing her having to come and ask you to move your car. Then put a chain or gates across the drive.

Boomerwang Wed 09-Jan-13 00:08:00

We've had loads of these threads. The best answer exists on all of them. Ask her to stop, and if that doesn't work, put up a chain as your cheapest option. If you'd like to, get a gate or a bollard.

Unacceptable Wed 09-Jan-13 00:08:56


Have you made it totally, unmistakably, completely clear that the driveway is part of your property.

Some people aren't too sharp

Boomerwang Wed 09-Jan-13 00:16:07

Oh god sorry excuse my blunt and crap post. I've had a few drinks and I thought I was seeing another wail thread.

Since I can't edit my post, I'd like to say instead that if you really like her or are afraid of confrontation, just put up a blockage of some kind (although I entirely agree that it's wrong that you should have to mess with your driveway because of someone else)

If you are a brusque sort (read: nostril flaring, feather spitting, ground clawing) type such as myself, sound her out and slap a solicitor's letter in her mush after taking pictures of her parked on your drive.

"Some people aren't too sharp"
And others are sharp enough to cut themselves. They know that most people don't like to be impolite, and use that politeness as a tool to get their own way. OP's neighbour "always apologies and moves her car" - and always does it again regardless.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 09-Jan-13 00:21:35

I agree with the chain. This is YOUR drive. Not hers!

Narked Wed 09-Jan-13 00:28:07

I would not send a solicitor's letter if I could avoid it. I think you need to declare that kind of thing if you sell the house in the future. I would get a chain and padlock and, if she does it before then, block her in and don't answer the door for a while.

Reaa Wed 09-Jan-13 00:33:13

Can u share the drive? Can she pay you rent for part sharing it?
Nope (im too tired to keep being nice) it sounds like she taking the piss.....get a chain across it

Catchingmockingbirds Wed 09-Jan-13 01:01:15

Have you asked her why she keeps parking on your drive? If so, what was her reply?

I would be tempted to park across the drive so she can't get out...or park with your car blocking her front door...<petty me!>

Alternatively, report her to the parking police people in your area and the council and then see a solicitor to send a letter threatening legal action etc

Or...write your own one saying failure to respond to this letter is agreement by silence and you therefore agree to handing over your car keys...on my property=belongs to me grin <joke>

SantasENormaSnob Wed 09-Jan-13 06:04:33

Oh just get the stupid cow towed.

Either get a clamping company to put a sign on your drive, then get her clamped next time she parks there, or get a chain/bollard.

Or block her in and go away for the weekend.

HollyBerryBush Wed 09-Jan-13 06:28:17

I live on a street where parking is of a premium.

We're actually nice to each other and drive share, swap forecourts, tell each other if we are going out so visitors can use the drive etc. We deliberately park on the others drive if they are on holiday so the house doesnt look empty to burglars.

I do find this overwhelming need to establish territory quite unfathomable.

I think the ^Big Q is^: do you use your drive? is this inconveniencing you or just pissing you off? if it's the former you have a valid complaint, if it's the latter, help your neighbour out now and again.

But I suppose if it is driving you insane, then shut your gates, or put a large tub at the bottom of your drive.

>nowt queerer thank folk<

AllOverIt Wed 09-Jan-13 06:36:12

I agree with blocking her in and getting her to come and ask you to move your car...

Sugarice Wed 09-Jan-13 06:37:36

You've asked her numerous times not to do it and she has blatantly ignored you.

Can you afford a bollard, if so that's the best deterrent other than gates.

I'd sooner spend the money on this rather than a solicitorto be honest.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 09-Jan-13 07:06:07


Did you read all of the OP?

This bit might answer some of your questions

"the thought of driving home each night and wondering if she is parked there again is slowly driving me mad."

fairylightsandtinsel Wed 09-Jan-13 07:37:23

I think next time, rather than asking her to move the car, ask her why she thinks she is allowed to park on it - does she KNOW it is a private, not shared drive. Either she doesn't, and you can set her straight, or she does and will be left with a bit of a problem to explain. I do it to the kids I teach, you don't ask IF they are chewing gum, but WHY? There is no good answer to why you are knowingly breaking a rule and it is more effective.Having had this conversation with her, I think then the next step is to block her in next time and then she has to come to you, whereupon you can make the point again that this is what you will HAVE to do if she is on YOUR drive.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Wed 09-Jan-13 07:38:33

Narkerd makes a good point re solicitor's letter and implications if you want to sell.

StuntGirl Wed 09-Jan-13 07:41:21

I would imagine that as the OP has a car that she needs to park on her own driveway then yes, it is inconveniencing her!

Why on earth would being pissing off with someone trespassing on your property be considered "queer"? This isn't a parking-in-front-of-your-house thread, in those instances the house owners have no right to stop anyone parking there. This woman is actually driving onto someone else's property and leaving her car there.

I agree with everyone else OP - get a chain and a padlock.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Wed 09-Jan-13 07:48:20

How annoying!

Sugarice Wed 09-Jan-13 07:58:47

I am clearly very queer about our drive then grin.

Nothing has my teeth grinding more than self entitled parking twattery!

HollySheet Wed 09-Jan-13 08:06:09

Block her in! Block her in!

and then come back and tell us her reactions.


GrimmaTheNome Wed 09-Jan-13 08:09:30

Solicitors letters/towing come at a price - also not quite sure what action the solicitors letter can threaten which you couldn't do yourself...try fairylights 'why?' first and then when if that fails get a chain or other barrier.

If you really want to be 'charitable', you could tell her that between certain hours on weekdays when you're at work she can stop for 15minutes to unload shopping so long as she promptly reparks her car. But that if you ever see her car on your drive again you will have to put on a chain which will stop her being able to have this benefit. That would give her some motivation to not abuse your kindness.

pingu2209 Wed 09-Jan-13 08:12:19

I would put up a small fence across the bottom of my drive. Or I will put a rope across. It is a small sign that means you won't need to write a letter that may need to be declared if you ever decide to move!

realcoalfire Wed 09-Jan-13 08:16:15

I think a bollard is the best idea. I am not sure what legal action other than a letter from a solicitor would be feasible.She is doing nothing illegal.I think maybe a tort for trespass, but that would be prohibitively expensive I fear.

GrimmaTheNome Wed 09-Jan-13 08:28:13

>She is doing nothing illegal
is it really not illegal to leave an unwanted item onto someone else's property?

StuntGirl Wed 09-Jan-13 08:29:42

She is doing something illegal, trespassing for one!

FarrahFawcettsFlick Wed 09-Jan-13 08:31:38

A bit pricey for the auto retractable ones. You can get manual lockable ones. Or chains if that would work, basically get a physical barrier.

Don't bother with a solicitors letter - costly, not sure how you would actually enforce the non-parking and you would have to disclose when selling.

SantasENormaSnob Wed 09-Jan-13 08:48:14

Have a bollard put in when she's parked there.

Tell her it's permanent.

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 08:48:47

Put up a physical barrier - a solicitor will be extremely costly and tbh I doubt they will be interested in taking it further, also as Farrah says you don't want to have to disclose it when you sell.

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 08:50:26

Those barriers are cheap compared to a solicitor's letter!

MrsBucketxx Wed 09-Jan-13 09:00:39

I had a problem like this and in the end it got so stressfull I moved. My neighbours kept parking on my drive which culminated in me eight months pregnant about to smash her Mercedes with a rolling pin.

Bollards are the way to go if you can afford it or nice electric gates.

Clamping companies will charge about 30 quid a year ish. But 200 a times if she gets towed, I was about to do this when I moved.

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 09:02:44

I share a drive - we are forever knocking on each other's doors asking to shift the car.

OP does she actually block you in?

MrsBucketxx Wed 09-Jan-13 09:06:53

I share a drive again now but theres no issue with my neighbours now.

Common sense is all thats needed.

Have you asked her if she knows that the drive is for your sole use? I would be going without food to afford a bollard if I had to though.

Pippinintherain Wed 09-Jan-13 09:26:06

I share a drive and expect to have to move cars around.

OP however has her own drive and shouldn't have to put up with people parking on it.

No one would be happy if their neighbours started using their garden for BBQs etc, so why should op put up with this cheeky cow taking the piss?

FeckOffCup Wed 09-Jan-13 09:41:41

She is a cheeky cow, could you put the wheelie bin across the end of the drive when your car isn't in it as a temporary measure and see if that gets the message across that the drive is off limits, and then think about chains/bollards if she still does it.

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 09:49:48

I find it hard to believe someone would keep parking on your drive. How many exact times has she done this? Is there a fence or wall between your gardens? Very odd.

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 09:52:22

Why do you find it hard to believe fake? Some people are just don't care and ignore what you have asked them. Some people are utter gits!

everlong Wed 09-Jan-13 09:52:41


ophelia275 Wed 09-Jan-13 10:02:42

WTF? Why are you feeling guilty about this. What an absolute cheek to park on your private property, especially when you have asked her not to. I think she is the one taking the piss and being a selfish cow. If she wants a drive she should pay for a home that has one, not use yours!

MummytoMog Wed 09-Jan-13 10:03:52

We have parking in front of our house and a shared drive in between us and our neighbours which leads to the garages belonging to the two houses. Very short, just the length of the houses, and we don’t use our garage for parking, so don’t use it at all. Our neighbour often but not always parks in front of his garage, so we are very careful not to block him in. His family visit a lot, and use it to park on. We always ask our visitors to park up on the road (parking is free). The other day my sister was home in the middle of the day, so left her car there for half an hour while she got ready to go out. Neighbour was not parked in front of his garage so she was not blocking him in. By the time she came out, next door’s family had arrived and blocked her in. She would happily have moved the car if they’d asked (although I think she has as much, if not more, right to park there given she actually lives with us and they were just visiting), but it was just incredibly rude to block her in. There's no reason for them not to park on the road except laziness, they're all perfectly able bodied. We are now planning our extension to the side of our house. I was being ever so careful not to build up to the property line so that he could still get his car in. Not being so careful now. Good luck getting past our giant extension pal.

BreconBeBuggered Wed 09-Jan-13 10:06:36

I don't find it hard to believe at all. It used to happen to us regularly - the driveway was clearly part of our property, but people from across the street would use it regularly to park up and play loud music off the road. Right outside our window. They clearly thought we were being uptight to complain as we didn't have a car, but our visitors normally did, and we didn't actually want regular teenage boyracer gatherings right outside our door.

We put a chain up in the end, which made it clear where the boundary was (at the edge of the pavement, astonishingly) but I know they still parked there when we were away.

whois Wed 09-Jan-13 10:16:02

I can't believe some people think its ok?? Crazy. If a neighbour was sunbathing in your back garden when you got home from work you'd be livid, this is exactly the same.

OP, don't do a solicitor letter.

I second the suggestion for asking why she parks on your drive, and then get a retractable bollard installed.

Fakebook Wed 09-Jan-13 10:36:34

I must live in a cucoon then. I've never experienced continual piss takers, but then I'm quite an abrupt person and voice my opinions clearly when I'm unhappy about something. OP, maybe you should learn to talk more assertively accompanied by a death stare? To show you really mean it?

valiumredhead Wed 09-Jan-13 10:39:59

fake we had someone parking on the corner of of close for months to avoid paying car park fees at the station, so a commuter.

Actually parked ON the corner diagonally - so blocking the view of the main road when we were leaving our close.

I left a note.


Then rang the police grin

Jins Wed 09-Jan-13 10:44:04

I do find this overwhelming need to establish territory quite unfathomable

It's not an overwhelming need to establish territory. Territory is very clearly established in the deeds to the property.

This is an overwhelming need to protect ownership and prevent anyone claiming acquired rights of access in the future.

jumpingjackhash Wed 09-Jan-13 10:58:33

Another vote for asking her why she keeps parking on your drive - but I'd do this when she comes to ask you to move your car (which you've parked directly behind, blocking her in).

Cheeky cow.

PootlePosyPerkin Wed 09-Jan-13 11:06:56

Have you tried a couple of traffic cones across the drive?

She is being cheeky to the extreme - I would be going down the chain & padlock route if it were me, although would she then park across the bottom of the drive itself do you think?

PootlePosyPerkin Wed 09-Jan-13 11:09:31

As an addition to the blocking her in idea, could you do it in an evening or at a weekend and then make it "impossible" for you to move the car as you've "just had a bottle of wine, sorry" (whether you actually have or not) grin.

ThedementedPenguin Wed 09-Jan-13 11:12:00

Op come back and update us when you decide what to do.

Personally I would go talk to her and then calmly say if she continues you will have to employ a towing company or talk to solicitor. I think it's a disgrace that you should have to put up a chain or a gate to stop this person from parking on your drive, but if there's no other way it will prob be the easiest and cheapest way

OwlLady Wed 09-Jan-13 11:13:07

my neighbour and his many visitors park on my drive as well and it drives me mad especially as he has a HUGE drive himself
wtf is wrong with people?

LessMissAbs Wed 09-Jan-13 12:43:42

I would just block her in and go away for a few hours/days - whatever it takes. Its remarkably effective. Leave your contact details in a note on her windscreen, to seem fair, but when she phones, explain you have just gone to bed/are out at the shops and won't be able to move your car til morning.

My guess is that you are trying to avoid confrontation with your neighbour, but that she is one of life's pisstakers, who will try to get something for nothing if she can get away with it. You need to stand up to her and give her a sharp rebuke of some kind.

LessMissAbs Wed 09-Jan-13 12:44:42

Forgot to add, the fact that she is able to move her car when you ask her suggests it is not exactly an impossible feat to park near where she lives on the street...

atthewelles Wed 09-Jan-13 13:04:53

Block her in. When she asks you to move to let her out say 'I'm a bit busy at the moment. I'll be out in ten minutes '- then wander out fifteen minutes later. Do this a few times and she might find it more convenient to just park down the road somewhere.

Porkster Wed 09-Jan-13 13:13:52

How rude your neighbour is OP!

My neighbours have one of those locking post things (because they have a very flash car, not because I park on their drive), that would be an effective solution.

GrimmaTheNome Wed 09-Jan-13 13:19:42

Trouble with chains and posts is they're an inconvenience for the OP to have to deal with too. Would be so much better to find a way to dissuade the woman from trespassing at all.

Pendipidy Wed 09-Jan-13 13:24:45

how many times has she done it? what are you going to do?!

I am very territorial. Especially as it costs us a lot of money each month for the privilige of living here. We're on a new estate and have a shared drive. No problem. Except the new owner of the house at the bottom decided he was allowed to park anywhere on the drive, including our private parking bays. Despite the fact that he had his own parking bays. That were always empty. He even argued with the deed maps. In the end, we asked our solicitor to have a little chat. He now parks in his allocated bays, and I don't have to cement gnomes in to our bays just to make a point <crazed glint in eye>

NamingOfParts Wed 09-Jan-13 13:26:06

Dont come to an arrangement about sharing the drive as this could set precedents about access and risk problems when trying to sell.

Also, dont create a disagreement about this by blocking her in etc. Again this risks problems when coming to sell.

Physical barriers to prevent her parking on your drive are the way forward.

scarletforya Wed 09-Jan-13 13:34:28

Is there any chance the neighbour has misunderstood and thinks it's a communal driveway?

LessMissAbs Wed 09-Jan-13 13:37:15

Blocking someone in doesn't have to cause a disagreement. The OP would be doing entirely accidentally, more than once if necessary, and be terribly apologetic for any inconvenience caused.

At the moment, she does have an ongoing dispute that is going to be worse to declare if she sells the property if it remains unresolved. By taking effective action to resolve it, she is likely to minimise the issue ie nip it in the bud.

People shouldn't live in fear of annoying their neighbours just because they may have to declare it when they move house - an undeclared festering dispute such as this is far more likely to provide grounds for a claim by any future third party innocent purchaser than a minor past dispute successfully resolved.

If getting a chain, I'd be personally tempted to send the invoice for the cost to the neighbour, but then I'm awkward that way...

atthewelles Wed 09-Jan-13 13:37:19

But surely, if she thought it was communal, she wouldn't apologise and move everytime the OP wanted to park her car.

I used to live next door to a guy who would have loud parties all the time. If I rang to complain he would apologise and turn the music down. The following weekend the noise would start up again, I would ring and ask him to keep it down, he would apologise, then a couple of weeks later........ Some people are just incapable of getting the message.

JoanByers Wed 09-Jan-13 13:48:37

it would be a pity if one of your kids were to scratch her car while riding their bikes.

Granitetopping Wed 09-Jan-13 17:58:13

Thanks for all the comments.

I have Googled the recommendations and I have decided to use a retractable bollard. The purchase and installation cost is about the same as a couple of solicitors letters. A chain and padlock wouldn't work as I have a wall one side of my drive and a hedge the other.

I am not happy to confront my neighbour regarding her reasons for parking. I am too much of a wimp! I believe she parks in my drive when all the spaces in the road are taken. A lot of people use the road for parking rather than use a pay and display car park around the corner. I work long hours and I expect she thinks she can get away with it if I'm not in all day. I suspect she knows I won't make a scene and just takes advantage of me. Or she could just be a bit dense and she doesn't realise she is making my life a misery. Whatever her reasons, I am feeling a lot more positive now that I have made a decision.

Whilst the bollard option will be a nuisance when I am coming and going - at least I know when I drive home at night I will be able to park.

Thanks for taking the time to comment on this post - and thanks for all the suggestions and support.

CooEeeEldridge Wed 09-Jan-13 18:03:01

Glad you're feeling better granite, a bollard seems like a good idea. I too know the frustration and anger some one else's car can cause! I now live on a road where no one has drives and it's a free for all, I LOVE it!

Bosgrove Wed 09-Jan-13 18:34:58

We have two houses and have parking issues with the neighbours in both of them.

In the one in the south, we are at the end of a cul de sac, our neighbours have a long narrow drive, we have a short wide one, so they don't block each other in their visitors normally park with two tyres on our drive as there isn't a wall between the properties.

The one in the North, is a small end of terrace with allocated parking, every time we go up our neighbour is parked blocking our parking spaces, even when she knows we are there she still does it, I think it makes parking easier for her. I end up knocking and asking her to move her car.

Both situations make me seeth and my DH laugh

SantasENormaSnob Wed 09-Jan-13 18:45:11

Please install the bollard whilst she is parked there.

3smellysocks Wed 09-Jan-13 18:46:49

I'd probably block her in each time at the end of the drive and when as ked to move take half an hour each time. Say you have a few jobs to do but will move the car when you get a spare few mins.

GrimmaTheNome Wed 09-Jan-13 18:47:01

>Please install the bollard whilst she is parked there
tell her you're going to install it though, so if she's parked on your drive when its installed she's no-one to blame but herself.

orangepudding Wed 09-Jan-13 18:49:16

Granite if you get a bollard could she still park in front of your drive meaning you will still have to ask her to move. I just imagine she may do that if she can.

If she parks in front of your empty drive you can ask her to move....
but there's no law against blocking someone out of their drive.

So you could (in theory) install a bollard and still be no better off sad

Blu Wed 09-Jan-13 19:01:15

If you come home late at night and her car is on the drive, knock and ask her to get up and move it so you can park in your own drive.

The later the better, of course. Well after most people's bed times.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 09-Jan-13 21:33:29

The major problem with blocking the neighbour in is that the neighbour can then have the OP's car towed as the OP would be breaking the law.

ophelia275 Thu 31-Jan-13 12:30:42

Glad you got this sorted. Where is she parking now?

andubelievedthat Thu 31-Jan-13 18:06:32

yeah block her in and? find out her Dark side ! perhaps a week later your tyres are slashed/sand in your fuel tank > find a way to resolve this with sugar.

Granitetopping Thu 31-Jan-13 20:11:59

I have had the bollard fitted. It's a pain to move everytime I leave, especially when it's raining, but at least I know my drive will be "neighbour free" when I come home a night!

I've had no trouble with anyone parking on the road blocking the entrance to drive.

My neighbour parks further up the road and has admired my bollard! I don't think she realises that she is the reason for it's installation!!

Sugarice Thu 31-Jan-13 20:19:49

Granite result! grin

Groovee Thu 31-Jan-13 20:28:05

Result xx

whateveritakes Thu 31-Jan-13 20:46:20

Well you won't see struggling from the car park, trying to hold her young child's hand and bags in the other worrying if she should have put another hour on her ticket, whether to get the rest of the bags later ...because you are out at work.

She has no right to your drive at all but it would have been a kindness to work something out. Still your stress at having to ask her to move every week must be horrendous.

Sugarice Thu 31-Jan-13 20:52:43

whatever it's Granite's drive, why should she have to accommodate someone else thinking they can park on her drive ?

Well done Granite for standing up for yourself and not being a doormat!

whateveritakes Thu 31-Jan-13 20:58:33

Because it's a kind thing to do.

Other people not wanting to use the car park are taking up the spaces (sometimes). Op is out during the day. Single mum (so has to consider child at all times) has to get child and whatever else out of the car park which presumably she has to pay for.

Op will be old one day. She might need someone to go out of their way for her.... just to be kind.

Sugarice Thu 31-Jan-13 21:04:34

Being kind is a nice quality but there are some willing to take advantage of a kind nature, Granite's neighbour sounds like she is one of them.

It's good and proper to be kind in the right circumstances but it's better not to be a pushover.

kinkyfuckery Thu 31-Jan-13 21:07:57

Oh do fuck off whateverittakes. Why should the OP let her neighbour park in her driveway, meaning that she can't use it herself??

Maybe said neighbour could also pop round every time she needs a shit, or hang her washing on OP's washing line. Maybe she could actually just drop round a whole heap of dirty wash and expect OP is 'kind' enough to do it for her?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 31-Jan-13 21:11:43

I love it when the OP updates. Thanks Granite.

I suspect the admiration might have been sarcastic, she must know it's about her, unless she is unbelievably thick.

whateveritakes Thu 31-Jan-13 21:13:46

Seriously how much effort to say "use the drive in the day but make sure the cars moved as I'm back at 5pm".

If my neighbour didn't have a washing machine and had a young child then yes I might well help her out. Not forever but I would help her out if she needed it. (and if she didn't have a loo for a while then yes she could shit in mine)

kinkyfuckery Thu 31-Jan-13 21:15:51

Why are you sure that neighbour would move car by 5pm if asked? She was asked not to use it at all and wasn't exactly compliant!!

I don't have an X-box, a trampoline or a treadmill. I wonder if I should just go and help myself to any the neighbours may not be using right now.

Granitetopping Thu 31-Jan-13 21:25:07

Hi Kinky

I've got an X-Box! You can use it if you promise not to park on my drive!!

whateveritakes Thu 31-Jan-13 21:28:04

Perhaps she is taking advantage of the Op being out and therefore not knowing if the drive is being used (until she gets caught once in a while).

Of course she is being rude but I wouldn't like to always have change for the parking, park away from the house, have to traipse back up with a small child etc, when their is an unused space next door. She's risking it when the op is out.

I think Op should have offered her a compromise first just to be nice. If she then took the piss then there's nothing to stop her doing what she's done anyway.

Granitetopping Thu 31-Jan-13 21:29:09

Unexpected - no sarcasm - she's a bit dense.

Whatever - I am old. It's my drive. My rules.

whateveritakes Thu 31-Jan-13 21:39:59


she's a bit dense

Say's it all

Granitetopping Thu 31-Jan-13 21:47:33

What does it say?

Have I offended you? Or anyone else?

If I repeatedly ask someone not to park on my drive but that person keeps doing it - she is either dense or taking the mick. I chose dense.

Sugarice Thu 31-Jan-13 21:51:55

whatever the neighbour is dense, why else did she keep parking on someone else's property after being told not to?

MerryCouthyMows Thu 31-Jan-13 22:13:48

Nah, bollocks. If the piss taking neighbour didn't want to 'struggle' like that, she should have bought a house with a fucking driveway, not feel entitled to use someone else's. The OP probably paid more for her house IN ORDER to have a driveway.

And as for 'struggle' with one DC from a car park - stop talking bollocks. I have to get from the bus stop home with a pram, an escapologist toddler, an Autistic 9yo with no sense of road safety, a 10yo, an Autistic 14yo who when having a meltdown will throw themselves on the floor (there's no carrying a 5ft6 teenager having a meltdown...) along with a week's worth of shopping for 5 people. I can't drive because I have epilepsy.

I just see it as another job that has to be done, it's not a struggle, it's just part of everyday life. Fuck off is it a 'struggle' to walk from a nearby car park with a few shopping bags for two people and a young DC.

The neighbour is a pisstaker, no way should the OP have any need to allow her to use a PRIVATE driveway. If the neighbour wants a driveway, she should move to a house that has one, or accept her current situation doesn't allow that, and make the best of the situation WITHOUT taking the piss out if other people.

Good for you on getting the bollard, OP.

spiritedaway Thu 31-Jan-13 22:21:34

I sympathise. . I am a single mum of a fair few kids and live in a long cul de sac. . When i get back from school run neighbour has often 2 cars in my drive due to their multiple cars and morning shuffling out of their drive. I have to reverse along cul de sac. . Out onto busy road, park and carry the baby home. Their response. . Just knock love.

spiritedaway Thu 31-Jan-13 22:22:46

I mean i sympathise with OP by the way. . Not the single mum. Bollox to her!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 31-Jan-13 22:30:02

spirited do you want to start your own parking thread? I love a good parking thread smile

spiritedaway Thu 31-Jan-13 22:32:47

Ooooh. . . I might work up to one! smile

KellyMarieTunstall Thu 31-Jan-13 22:35:16

spiritedaway have you tried pressing the car horn long and loud when you get home and find neighbours in your drive?

Its my choice of alerting others that they are in my way ( mainly when blocked by some unthinking arse). Not used often but always to good effect.

Better than knocking and much better than having to reverse down a narrow road and having to carry baby home.

DeafLeopard Thu 31-Jan-13 22:37:47

Yay I love it when we get an update.

Well done OP for standing up for yourself and reclaiming your drive and thanks for updating.

And what Couthy says

E320 Thu 31-Jan-13 23:27:46

Let me clarify, you have a drive, you own the land, it is not shared?
Your neighbour is trespassing.
Nothing to do with being "nice", she is breaking the law. Get some backbone!
Why does everyone pussyfoot around "single parents" are they suddenly above the law?

spiritedaway Fri 01-Feb-13 10:22:22

I have done the horn but that is when i am blocked in and am heading out for school pick up. . When the school run red mist descends. . .

Arithmeticulous Fri 01-Feb-13 10:40:33

Better in than out, spirited - try it on the way back as well.

Nanny0gg Fri 01-Feb-13 10:44:14

Did the neighbour ask to use the drive?

Well, perhaps she should have done...

Zalen Fri 01-Feb-13 10:48:06

I think whateveritakes might be missing the point that if the neighbour had acted in a reasonable fashion they could have quite possibly got away with parking on the OP's drive to unload the car indefinitely. All they had to do was to have the sense, (and good manners) to move their car immediately afterwards leaving the drive free for the legal owner to use.

Tabliope Fri 01-Feb-13 11:08:26

I find it unbelievable that anyone would park on someone else's drive. Why would you do this? Spirit I'd tell your neighbour if they park on your drive again you'll be speaking to the police and the council. They're taking the piss out of you. I can't believe the audacity of some people. It's trespassing ffs.

GeneHuntsMistress Fri 01-Feb-13 11:21:32

In my old house we eventually had no option other than to sacrifice our lovely little front garden, have it paved over, apply to the council and have our kerb dropped. All at great expense and hassle to ourselves.

Someone parked halfway over the drive once, so that there was no way of getting my car off the drive. No idea who it was and didn't care to know either. I called the council and within 10 minutes a chap came out and was about to write out a ticket for it when he realised that i was heavily pregnant, at which point he said he had better call for a tow truck in case I needed to get out urgently. Just at this moment, a chap from down the road came sprinting up and apologising. The warden asked him to look at his car and explain why he thought he had parked it legally? I have never seen quite such a red face since.

Find out the number from your council and just call them next time. Saves loads of hassle and makes them realise they are not behaving just in a non-neighbourly way, but in a not entirely legal way....

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