Is Housemate Acting Weird or AIBU?

(105 Posts)
LessMissAbs Mon 07-Jan-13 22:31:58

New housemate. The first week, I got in from work, dripping wet from the rain, to a loud wailing noise coming from the bathroom. Bathroom door was open, she was sitting on the toilet seat, screaming in agony. I thought she'd injured herself or had bad food poisoning, but no, it was her period. She said it would only last an hour, but the only thing that could help is if someone stayed with her and talked to her. Awkward to say the least. Eventually I persuaded her to take some Ibuprofen, escaped to get changed out of my wet clothes, and she made a full recovery.

The next week, I got a phone call during my evening class (but it went to voicemail as I have it switched off during the class) asking me to phone her back urgently, as she'd been to give blood, felt faint, and could I come and collect her as she was too faint to drive. I didn't - I had an exam, and she did recover enough to drive herself home.

Last week, there was a crisis the moment I got in the door about the key for the bike shed having gone missing. I didn't even get a chance to get my jacket off.

This week she has been talking about her period being due again soon, and maybe going to see a doctor about it. I think I'm dreading the period as much as her!

Do people really suffer in this way/AIBU to feel slightly freaked by all of this?

EndoplasmicReticulum Mon 07-Jan-13 22:35:18

Sounds a little odd. Is it just you and her or are there other housemates?

ellangirl Mon 07-Jan-13 22:35:28

Err no, that's weird!

theoriginalandbestrookie Mon 07-Jan-13 22:36:43

Well she could suffer from Endometriosis which would explain the painful periods - I'd really encourage her to go and see a doctor.

The giving blood incident does seem a bit drama queeny to me.

She does seem a bit demanding of a new housemate, I'd be friendly but not overly helpful, point her in the direction of doctors etc.

I have no words of advice but poor you, that is really weird, and awkward, and over personal, make sure you have a hot water bottle and some strong painkillers to throw at her every time she heads to the toilet next week.

ControlGeek Mon 07-Jan-13 22:37:50

Sounds a bit like my dramaqueen boss, minus the periods (he's a bloke). Is she renting from you, or are you joint tenants?

ZooAnimals Mon 07-Jan-13 22:38:20

YANBU

She sounds nuts!

YANBU. If you have any say in housemates I'd give her her notice! I've never lived with anybody like that and feel glad to have the anti-social, thunder-footed grump! (Swap if you like? She does sound funny...)

NewYearNewNN Mon 07-Jan-13 22:38:58

I take it you didn't know her before she moved in? In which case yanbu, she's being very weird indeed.

deleted203 Mon 07-Jan-13 22:39:21

YANBU....you are living with a nutter! Who let her in? (You or the landlady, I mean).....I'd get rid of her as soon as possible. She sounds a complete drama queen and a pain in the arse. (And it is pretty disgusting to sit wailing on the loo with the door wide open shouting that you have a period and expecting someone you barely know to sit and hold your hand and chat).

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 22:39:24

she sounds like a knob

Backtobedlam Mon 07-Jan-13 22:40:59

YANBU, very weird!

AlienananaReflux Mon 07-Jan-13 22:41:33

YANBU. She sounds really hard work at best.

FiaGrace Mon 07-Jan-13 22:42:49

She sounds quite strange - do you know how old she is?

LessMissAbs Mon 07-Jan-13 22:45:00

I'm feeling even more freaked now - shes just literally posted a Facebook status saying "Revenge!". Just that, nothing else...

I thought I was being mean. I just felt so bloody awkward, and I was dripping wet and just wanted to get my coat off. I'm not a nurse, I don't know what to do in those situations!

Shes 30, I would have thought she would have gone to the doctor about her periods by now if they were that bad.

Shes renting off me. Hopefully she will settle down now shes realised she isn't going to get much attention off me! though shes sulking in her bedroom now shes realised I won't talk non-stop to her during my favourite tv programme

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 07-Jan-13 22:45:02

Yanbu that's weird.

sparkleyangel Mon 07-Jan-13 22:47:26

could this be the first time she has left home so is having trouble coping on her own posters calling her a knob nutter and a drama queen before they know her circumstances dont help

SirBoobAlot Mon 07-Jan-13 22:47:52

I have PCOS and suspected Endo, so I tend to be sobbing / swearing as most women do during labour, especially during the first days of my period. But can't imagine asking someone to sit with me confused

Did you know her before she moved in?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 07-Jan-13 22:47:54

This is like something out of an ad for painkillers, YANBU she does sound odd. Is she a drama student? Is this her first time living away from home?

Next time, and there's bound to be someting, back out of the room feigning an urgent need to be anywhere else on the planet and escape?

AlienananaReflux Mon 07-Jan-13 22:49:30

Blimey, no, i would be thinking about how to get rid of her by now hmm

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 07-Jan-13 22:50:00

Okay X post. She's 30, she's demanding, did you get a reference from her last place? They lied to get rid.

sparkleyangel Mon 07-Jan-13 22:51:04

could be she has mental health problems

Revenge the tv programme has started its second series tonight, hopefully she was referring to that!

PoshCat Mon 07-Jan-13 22:51:40

Very weird. I feel for you having also flat shared with a variety of matters in the past.

RyleDup Mon 07-Jan-13 22:52:10

Weird.

sparkleyangel Mon 07-Jan-13 22:53:22

maybe shes just posted revenge because she recognise your description of her on here lol

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 07-Jan-13 22:53:48

Oh x post OP...Revenge is an American tv programme on e4 earlier this evening. She's not that weird. No need to bar your door!

sparkleyangel Mon 07-Jan-13 22:54:11

recognised

whois Mon 07-Jan-13 22:55:02

I can't believe you're even asking!!! She's a fruit loop, get rid.

LessMissAbs Mon 07-Jan-13 22:58:18

Shes lived away from home for quite a few years. I only got employer's reference. Shes not that bad apart from that, its just that it unsettled me and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable around her. That and the non-stop talking. I thought I was being unreasonable in feeling like this for little reason. I'm sure shes aware she annoys me slightly now and I feel horrible for it.

Its just the way she expected me to stand with her, dripping wet, talking to her for as long as it took, but took bloody 20 minutes to persuade her to take a painkiller.

I am relieved to hear about the tv programme Revenge though!

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 07-Jan-13 23:00:04

Yeah she's definitely an odd one OP and I'm not sure I would want to love with her but I'm 99% certain the "Revenge" status was to do with the programme.

Which incidentally is absolutely awful yet I cannot help but watch it if I catch it blush

WeAreEternal Mon 07-Jan-13 23:06:07

Her FB status was probably about that program Revenge, I think the new series of that started this evening.

You either need to sit her down and tell her that you are really looking for someone to just rent the room not be involved with, and that frankly you find her needy behavour quite weird.

Either that or begin completely ignoring her, ignore all calls, only return them if it really is urgent. Ignore texts too.
If she grabs you as you walk in the door just say “in a minute” and then walk away and ignore her. If she tries to start a conversation only give one word answers and try not to look at her (it will encourage her to leaver you alone.)
You are going to have to be harsh, but once she gets the message that you are not her friend she will ease of and leave you alone.

FrillyMilly Mon 07-Jan-13 23:11:52

If I didn't live with my husband and children I would think you were talking about me. I recognise those drama queen like tendancies from myself. Although I don't need company when my period arrives. My Facebook status tonight was also about revenge (the TV show). Some people are just chatterbox drama queens it doesn't mean we want to kill you or are going to go all single white female on you.

LessMissAbs Mon 07-Jan-13 23:18:06

Yes but FrillyMilly I'm not her husband and I've only known her a few weeks! She has however told me she is into women, not men, and although I really don't care whether her sexual orientation is men, women or somewhere inbetween, I can't help wondering if this is causing some of the awkwardness.

bumperella Mon 07-Jan-13 23:22:24

She does sound a bit dramatic. If that makes you uncomfortable, then IMO you've 3 options: either speak to her direct, ignore and hope she gets the hint, or ask her to move out.

EllenParsons Mon 07-Jan-13 23:23:56

Ooh I'm glad I saw this thread as I do like revenge (the show) and I didn't know it was back! And yes your flatmate sounds annoying and a bit nuts.

BluelightsAndSirens Mon 07-Jan-13 23:24:07

She sounds like far to much responsibility for rent money.

oldraver Mon 07-Jan-13 23:24:49

She sounds like an attention seeker, so I would just carry on as you are, dont feed into it

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Mon 07-Jan-13 23:29:39

Can you put a tv in her room? So if you want to watch different things she has somewhere to go and find out her least fave programmes & make sure they are on in the living room when she comes in

She sounds odd & needy & you may have to set well defined boundaries

LessMissAbs Mon 07-Jan-13 23:34:56

She has refused to have a tv in her room! I've had to take it out and store it for her...

Well perhaps she will settle down.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Mon 07-Jan-13 23:35:59

"Her FB status was probably about that program Revenge, I think the new series of that started this evening"

^that

but the rest, even if she does have genuinely awful periods, what did she do before she moved in with you if she needs to be 'talked through" them, and why can't whoever did that for her every month before you came into her life come over and do it hmm - v odd!

LessMissAbs Mon 07-Jan-13 23:38:40

Shes just come downstairs to complain that she's allergic to carpets! She is going to hire an industrial standard vacuum cleaner to hoover them (its a new build house and the carpets are brand new) or she might put plastic sheeting over the carpet in her room... no way will she be getting to do that

Thankfully I only live here when I'm working and with DH the rest of the time!

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Mon 07-Jan-13 23:45:59

oh dear! nip this in the bud, she had opportunity to ask about/look for carpets before she agreed to move in!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 07-Jan-13 23:46:11

Oh well she probably won't stand it much longer if she's allergic, maybe it'll be a face saver for both of you.

Dancergirl Mon 07-Jan-13 23:52:13

Have you seen Single White Female??

hiddenhome Mon 07-Jan-13 23:59:50

She's neurotic. She needs a prescription and some cbt. She also needs to be quiet. People who talk constantly are annoying.

"Shes 30, I would have thought she would have gone to the doctor about her periods by now if they were that bad."
In all fairness, my endometriosis didn't fully kick in until I was in my early thirties - just the occasional 'bad period' until then. But I did go to to my GP and she prescribed horse drops very strong painkillers, as one of my concerns was that I'd taken too many paracetemol in too short a time whilst in the haze of agony. I find it very odd that she, screaming in agony, had to be persuaded to take a painkiller. And that "the only thing that could help is if someone stayed with her and talked to her." I can honestly say that the last thing I want when I feel that way is anyone within sight, let alone conversation.

She does sound a bit of an attention-addict.

concessionsavailable Tue 08-Jan-13 00:42:09

This isn't going to settle down. It's going to get worse, mark my words. I've lived in enough dreadful flatshares to know how they start....

NatashaBee Tue 08-Jan-13 00:45:49

She sounds like my old housemate. Get rid!

SpottyBagOfTumble Tue 08-Jan-13 00:46:28

Oh dear! Sounds odd!

HecatePropolos Tue 08-Jan-13 07:05:34

Attention seeking drama queen.

If you give her the slightest bit of attention, she will escalate for more. It's like a drug. The fix you need to get you high just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Although there's a chance that not giving the attention she is craving will also result in bigger and more dramatic attempts to get it.

Basically - you're probably going to start to feel like you're in some reality show version of Eastenders and begin checking random ornaments for hidden cameras.

How long is the rental agreement with her? I'd seriously end it as soon as you can and find someone else.

RedHelenB Tue 08-Jan-13 07:34:25

I'd let her get the plastic - it will save your carpet from getting ruined!!!!

I would just replace her tbh. She's renting a room and is supposed to be respectful of that, it just sounds like she can't handle it! Get rid, change the locks and get somebody else in! It's the time of year where students are backing out of their rooms/houseshares because they don't like them any more so you'll find somebody!

AlienananaReflux Tue 08-Jan-13 11:10:09

I couldn't live like this, from a friend of years maybe (not the hand holding period bit though!!) but someone you have just met? big fat nope!!

The fact she refused painkillers to make the situation better is very telling, you sound much more tolerant than me though!

The film Single White Female has sprung to mind!! hmm

She sounds a bit odd.

PessaryPam Tue 08-Jan-13 12:01:37

Seriously get rid NOW!!!

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 12:03:56

Please don't mention single white female!

I thought I was going to be told I was being unsympathetic towards her - but I do agree she sounds like shes playing on it, to see how much attention shes going to get out of me. Perhaps she does it a lot. But how can someone know their period pains are going to last exactly an hour?

this morning, we had a minor drama over a blocked toilet. She came rushing ino my room, full of the dramatic news, telling me I'd need to get a plumber. I'd just put a bit too much toilet paper down the loo wihout flushing properly, bcause I have a cold and had been blowing my nose (big point made that I'd given her my cold). I simply stuck a long wooden spoon down the cistern and moved it on, problem solved. She then started fussing about throwing the wooden spoon away, no I said, I'll just wash it.

then she announcd the hot water wasn't working. I ran the tap, hot water appeared - she simply hadn't run the tap long enough.

Forunately she manaed to get on her way to work, despite all these traumas. Miracle she gets there on time since she refuses to wear a watch. I asked her how she knew what time it was, she said she just asks other people to look at their watches for her!

HecatePropolos Tue 08-Jan-13 12:08:11

hang on - you're not going to use that spoon for cooking, are you?

HecatePropolos Tue 08-Jan-13 12:08:55

oh. cystern. Sorry. grin for some reason I got the idea you'd shoved it down the loo grin

Never mind.

HecatePropolos Tue 08-Jan-13 12:09:10

i not y

<sigh>

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 12:09:12

Please, please, please, get rid. she is BATTY.

Give her notice, today.

God, she sounds like a fecking nightmare. Get rid of her before she sends you as bonkers as she is.

Arthurfowlersallotment Tue 08-Jan-13 12:12:20

I have two friends with endometriosis and they do not go on like your housemate..

She is strange. Don't feed her drama!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 08-Jan-13 12:17:02

She's a weirdo. Get rid.

Lavenderhoney Tue 08-Jan-13 12:19:57

Batshit crazysmile you should advertise for a chef- always at work doing double shifts or sleepingsmile plus if they do get up they can cook! Perfect

can you give her notice? What is she going to do when you aren't there? Phone you at all hours maybe?

Sorry, I would be saying its not working right now- but she hasn't signed anything yet has she? And I guess you both agreed a month probation in case it didn't work for either of you?

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 12:20:19

I did shove the wooden spoon down the loo. It was perfectly clean, it was just toilet paper blocking it and it took on small shove. I must say what to do with the spoon was not my first concern, but in view of how she seamlessly moved onto a new fuss, a little bit of evil glimmered in me and I told her I was going to wash it. I'll probably buy a new on today.

EuroShagmore Tue 08-Jan-13 12:21:09

I have extrememly painful periods and do sometimes need to be persuaded to take drugs (more because I can't face moving from wherever I happen to have hibernated to get tablets and water than anything else). I kind of go out of my mind with pain and lose proper priorities. I've never asked anyone to sit with me through it though. I find that a bit hmm

milf90 Tue 08-Jan-13 12:26:25

Yes, she sounds like a drama queen and an attention seeker. Sounds like she's going to be hard work!!

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Tue 08-Jan-13 12:35:28

She won't have a TV in her room? Looks like she's looking for an excuse to pester you talk to you in the evenings.

Until you get rid, perhaps put the TV in your room and go there yourself after work - I think giving up the living room temporarily would be a small sacrifice in order to preserve your sanity! Or if you have Netflix or Lovefilm watch it on the laptop/tablet with headphones.

Also throw some textbooks around and tell her you're studying for something so you've a bona fide excuse to absent yourself. I had a lodger 10 years ago, for less than a year, who, on looking back, was actually OK - but I like my own space and company and he drove me nuts.

Oh, get exactly the same sort of wooden spoon, and hide the old one in the middle of the rubbish, and don't tell her (and then update us on the meltdown grin )

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 08-Jan-13 12:39:50

Bit late to ask I guess, did you happen to have a "settling in" phase in mind, say a month just to find out how well you got on? Maybe by the 4th weekend you could take a deep breath, tell her it's not working, "It's not me, it's you" and ask her to be out by a certain date?

digerd Tue 08-Jan-13 12:47:20

She is probably a very highly strung person who panics about everything and relies on others to sort out her problems - and you oblige - stop.
That period thing is ridiculous to ask you to stay with her. Bet she had tried that on others and you are the only one who obliged.
She is taking advantage of your helpful nature..

She just gets worse, doesn't she? She's taking high-maintenance to the level of an art form.

"... she refuses to wear a watch. I asked her how she knew what time it was, she said she just asks other people to look at their watches for her!"
I do feel that this is actually a good summary of her attitude. She expects other people to deal with the necessities of life so that she can abdicate all responsibility for herself.

Can you serve her notice OP? How soon can you get her out?

complexnumber Tue 08-Jan-13 14:41:23

Why are you reading her Facebook statuses? That's creepy landlord behaviour or maybe you have blurred the boundaries.

You know somewhere that she is posting "Uuuuuuurgh! my landlady just pushed her toilet blockage down with a spoon and now she's put it back in the kitchen." People on the other thread will be saying LTB.

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 14:56:45

Because shes one of my FB friends complexnumber.

there was nothing blocking the toilet but toilet roll. I draw the line at calling out a plumber to do something so easy.

I must say I have never in my life been accused of being creepy!

I worked with someone who had awful periods. Once she looked so green and was doubled up in such pain that I called an ambulance. She wasn't a drama queen. I'm just posting this to say that period pains can seem awfully serious. However, your lodger does seem a bit...bonkers needy.

"Roommate" is running on Sky most nights this month, don't watch it.

complexnumber Tue 08-Jan-13 15:08:44

Of course she's one of your FB friends or you wouldn't see it but why is she? You're not her friend, you don't care what she's up to.

It's not about getting a plumber it's about using and keeping the spoon. Lots of people wouldn't. Head over to the toilet brush threads. You're just very different.

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 15:11:01

So... What contract does she have? Do you own this property, is she your tenant?

confusteling Tue 08-Jan-13 15:28:15

Period pains I sympathise with as I often end up vomiting/fainting with mine - I'm on tranexamic acid, mefenamic acid, paracetomal and 60mg codeine to control mine but often am too scared to take the medication - the first two are likely to make me sick, the paracetomal does very little and the codeine gives me hallucinations and makes me sleep. It's a case of weighing up being stuck in bed in severe pain, or being stuck in bed drowsy, confused and vomiting...

I must admit though I have never discussed periods with any of my flatmates (and I've shared with around 18 people now throughout uni) - it's just never occured to me that they'd want to know, I just keep it to myself and if I need help ring my mum or the surgery..

The fainting too I can sympathise with but if I were her I'd have rung a taxi. I've phoned my flatmates before when I was admitted to hospital as an emergency one night - I asked my flatmates if they help me by driving the mile up the road to bring me some pyjamas/toiletries but they refused..

Carpet wise she should have checked that out first, that might be a deal breaker.

If she's got any health issues or the like she really should have told you from the outset, it makes everything a bit easier - my flatmates know I am disabled (dyspraxia) and they know I struggle MH wise. It means that they don't think I'm strange when I spill my dinner down my top or forget/lose things occasionally..

If she's your tenant - if you own the house - does she have a list of rules/guidelines etc? Every tenancy I've had has come with something like that which does make a difference..

Sugarice Tue 08-Jan-13 15:38:29

What was she doing even running into your room in the first place, I hope she knocked and waited to be invited in! hmm.

She sounds like a nightmare to live with, imagine the queeny fit if you tell her it's not working out for you!

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 15:49:09

I havent "used or kept the spoon" -this happend this morning. the spoon will cost 50p to replace. In fact I have another 2 in the kitchen drawer if you are that interested in wooden spoons. Drama over complexnumber. It did the job. My main concern was stopping the toilet from overflowing and stopping her hysterics, and getting to work myslf, not on immediatly replacing a wooden spoon.

Yes, I am the owner, and she is my lodger and is paying a smallish rent which doesn't entitle her to concierge/nurse/chauffeur servics. I am kind of hoping she will realise she isnt going to get the sort of continual reassurance she obviously needs from me and move out. Otherwise I think I may have to ask her to. She is a nice enough person but I can' be bothered with her continual neediness, its like having a child! She also nearly broke the washing machine last week, by continually putting it back onto tumble dry mode when the clothes in it were bone dry, and has burned all the inside of my brand new oven.

I'm beginning to dread going home now, as I'm wondering what minor drama is going to have affected her next, or wondering if I can have a chance to relax in the evening at all.

Crinkle77 Tue 08-Jan-13 15:49:15

She sounds a bit like a hyperchondriac and an attention seeker and is looking for reassurance

Sugarice Tue 08-Jan-13 15:56:46

Next time she starts the drama llama act just give her that ' as if look' hmm and ignore.

The washing machine and oven issues would have my back up as well as the attention seeking.

Good luck OP, do you have wine in the fridge?

HecatePropolos Tue 08-Jan-13 16:01:38

Or every time she does one of her dramatic things, you could do that dum dum dum thing that happens at the end of Eastenders (do they still do that?)

[evil]

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 16:02:50

Shes certainly never mentioned mental health issues - she comes across as sane, if a little "spinsterish" and old fashioned, for want of better phraseology, and holds down a good enough job.

the way she talked about her periods seemed to indicate she had never seen a doctor about them, and it was only something she was just considering.

Bobyan Tue 08-Jan-13 16:18:21

Where was she living before?

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 17:05:01

Sweety, she is NEVER going to move out of her own accord, you do know that don't you?

I looked this up, it came from the www.gov.uk site:

You’ll often have an excluded tenancy or licence if you live with your landlord as a lodger and share rooms with them.

Your landlord only needs to give ‘reasonable notice’ to quit. Usually this means the length of the rental payment period – so if you pay rent weekly, you’ll get 1 week’s notice.

The notice doesn’t have to be in writing.

So, you need to speak to her ASAP and state that you do not wish to continue with the tenancy and it'd be easier if she goes sooner rather than later, before she gets too settled. If she pushes you for a reason, say that you don't have to give her one, but that you feel that you and her are not a good combination.

then when she screams/wails/weeps and harrangues you for hours/days/weeks asks you to reconsider, you just remember the MN phrase 'That doesn't work for me' and repeat it like a broken record.

If I were you, I WOULD put it in writing afterwards, and mail it to her recorded delivery so that you have proof you sent it. Cos I can see this bunnyboiler not going quietly.

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 17:06:00

I'd put MONEY on the fact that she wasn't screaming until she heard your key in the door.

whois Tue 08-Jan-13 17:25:26

Just get rid, people like this only get more and more demanding and more and more odd.

Say "this isn't working out, I'm giving you notice to move out by date x"

fuzzpig Tue 08-Jan-13 17:25:58

I was wondering that too Hissy. Although I feel mean for thinking that.

I want to watch Single White Female now <curious>

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 17:29:40

Why mean fizzpig? You clearly have not met the kind of Crazy I have..... wink grin

Pandemoniaa Tue 08-Jan-13 17:32:16

She sounds exactly like the recently departed lodger that nearly drove a friend of mine quite demented. Equally need, equally incapable of using everyday items like cookers/washing machines and irons without ruining them but also quick to run around like a headless chicken demanding immediate action when extremely minor domestic incidents occurred.

My friend put up with this for over a year. She said it was over a year too long. So I strongly advise that you part company as kindly and firmly as possible.

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 17:35:54

How recently departed Pandemoniaa...????? confused

like, In the last couple of months? [yikes]

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 17:55:38

Hissy - Sweety, she is NEVER going to move out of her own accord, you do know that don't you*

I have the solution - she seems to loathe DH, and makes herself scarce when he is around. I'l simply tell her hes moving in too (allowed by my lease) and get him to stay over a few nights...

Pandemoniaa that is *exactly what she is like! Are they the same person, I wonder? I know she has lived away from home at university for 4 years, then rented in private flats for at least another 4...

It is beginning to drive me demented. I was worried I was being intolerant and overly harsh. But when I'm in the living room, its just the constant questions, about whats on tv (even if I'm not watching and reading a book). She appears to think I am the fount of all tv knowledge, to explain things to her. "Is that a French name?" "What accent is that?" "What did he say?" "Why did she say that?" I swear she is allergic to more than 2 minutes of peace and quiet!

You have to be so careful when choosing a lodger. I chose her because my ad seemed to attract a succession of recently seperated/divorced men looking to find some woman with their own property to latch onto (and I don't think thats just my suspicious mind). I think maybe I won't bother replacing, its not that much money.

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 18:00:30

I haven't even mentioned her obsession with the central heating being broken! Shes suggested it several times, a couple of times shes even switched off the boiler then denied all knowledge of it. I keep having to reset the timer. Its brand new and has an equally new Gas Safety Certificate, but shes clearly suspcious about it...

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:01:20

I say just grasp the nettle, the next opportunity you get.... tell her that it's not working out and you have asked DH to come and live with you while you noisily TTC....

grin

Frostyfoxy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:10:17

Do you think she might be working up to not paying the rent because of all the "problems"?? Have you spoken to any of the other private landlords to see if she is "known" as someone who doesn't pay/is a nusance etc?

Sugarice Tue 08-Jan-13 18:15:35

She sounds bizarre!

Messing with the boiler, odd!

HappyNewHissy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:18:24

Did she offer a work ref instead of a LL ref? Did you ask for one?

Mind you, if her new victim prospective LL called you.... what would you say.... bearing in mind that if you scuppered her rental, she'd want to stay on....

shock

and I'll bet she knows her rights.... hmm

LessMissAbs Tue 08-Jan-13 18:28:57

I don't get the impression she switched off the central heating boiler deliberately, more that she doesn't know what shes doing...

I also don't get the impression shes not going to pay her rent.

I'm making her sound terrible! I don't think she does this deliberately, and she can be quite pleasant, I just personally find her rather hard to live with. I actually feel really mean, and I'm still aware this is her home. I certainly wouldn't see her homeless or anything. She may feel as bad as me, as I've started disengaging with her, probably as a reaction as to whats gone before.

Have checked and she did supply both employer's and former landlord's reference (a letting agency in another city).

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 08-Jan-13 18:41:33

Has to be some compatibility even if you go back to DH at weekends. It's like having a pesky younger relative to stay.
As long as you stay civil and give fair notice surely yanbu to call time on this.

extracrunchy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:48:09

She sounds MENTAL.

extracrunchy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:49:50

OP Revenge is a tv show that was on last night grin

HyvaPaiva Tue 08-Jan-13 19:58:28

I really feel for you, OP. As a student I lived with a right weirdo for a year, it's intensely awful. You definitely should give her notice and find yourself a new lodger. Until then, press this whenever she acts oddly grin

MadamFolly Tue 08-Jan-13 20:20:19

Get rid, its not worth it, your home should be a relaxing place.

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