To be unnerved about this man....

(155 Posts)
Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 15:33:31

One of my neighbours who I only know in passing has started cooking for me,I am not elderly nor do I live alone.
I am married and have 2 DC.Its not full meals or anything like that just samosas,onion basis things like that.
Initially I was very grateful and just assumed they were for all of us to share and perhaps he was lonely.

He is about 45 and very friendly,he does live alone with no children that I know of,but recently he has been dropping off food and commenting its only for me and has been very flirty and is constantly saying I am beautiful.I am now not eating the food anymore it just doesn't feel right. This only happens about once a month by the way it's not as if he cooking stuff every night.

Also he pushed a Christmas card through a couple of weeks ago which had all our names in spelt correctly including our DCs. Didn't know he knew their names.

It's all really come to a head now as I saw him last night in the street and he was again very flirty and telling me I'm beautiful. I felt so uneasy,bearing in mind he has never touched me or tried to enter the house AIBU?I don't know what I think will happen but it just feels inappropriate somehow. My DH hasn't really said much about the situation and is mildly amused although he doesn't know I saw him last night.

He seems like a very nice man but I'm worried for some reason.

threesocksmorgan Mon 07-Jan-13 15:35:23

how odd.
I think I would be getting my dh to growl at him.

WorraLiberty Mon 07-Jan-13 15:37:49

Tell him you're on a health kick so you won't be eating the food anymore?

OnceUponAThyme Mon 07-Jan-13 15:40:28

just tell him you're feeling uncomfortable with the attention and want him to stop?
just because he seems nice doesn't mean you have to accept something that makes you feel like this.

impty Mon 07-Jan-13 15:40:36

odd and you need to trust your instincts I think.

Pixieonthemoor Mon 07-Jan-13 15:40:41

Perhaps get your dh to return the next batch of food and say that you would appreciate him not sending anymore as you are on a healthy eating kick? That way, the neighbour is aware that your dh knows what is going on. Should put a stop to it, I would have thought?

MadamFolly Mon 07-Jan-13 15:43:49

I'd get DH to warn him off I think, he sounds a bit odd so may take your DH telling him to piss off more seriously than he would listen to you.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Mon 07-Jan-13 15:46:14

the flirty comments would make me uncomfortable as he knows you have a family

however when I overcook I go and knock round neighbours with it ocassionally, particularly if I bake because we're a small family and one batch is usually too much for us to finish. And have taken food that neighbours have dropped off too (excess home grown veggies were the last thing, or extra fish from fishing trips), I see it as quite a normal thing to do.

The "on a healthy eating" thing is a good idea, however it might promt more compliments IYKWIM. I'd go with "fridge full of leftovers from sunday" or something like that instead.

And if he tells you you're beautiful say "well my husband thinks so which is the main thing"

ThunderInMyHeart Mon 07-Jan-13 15:47:24

Agree with impty - instincts

Slumberparty Mon 07-Jan-13 15:50:23

Make sure your DP knows every encounter you have with this man, even if nothing really is said. In all likelihood, he is probably harmless, but trust your instincts all the same and start to distance yourself from him. If he tries to talk to you make out like you have somewhere to be so can't stop. Don't answer the door to him anymore, if you do, keep the conversation short. If he questions anything, then maybe just say that you feel your friendship is inappropriate since you are married, and that's that.
I wouldn't eat his food either! And the fact he knows your DCs names when you haven't told him them yourself is just creepy IMO.

Cailleach Mon 07-Jan-13 15:50:44

Sorry but I think you need to be blunt with him: just ask him if he thinks saying things like that to a married woman are appropriate, and that you would appreciate it if he would stop.

Women are conditioned to be people-pleasers who worry about upsetting people but you are quite within your rights not to be pestered by this man. He is frankly creepy and at 45 should have a better grasp of social situations than this.

I would also point out that men from some cultures take our willingness to interact at all with them in entirely the wrong way. By this I mean that because you smile politely at him and are prepared to talk to him, he assumes you are interested in him sexually. I suspect women from his culture who were not related to him would not even talk to him or look him in the eye, so what is normal social politeness to you is being interpreted entirely differently at his end. (Mind you, this applies to some men no matter what culture they are from.)

As tragic and depressing as that is, I really think you need to bear that in mind.

allthegoodnamesweretaken Mon 07-Jan-13 15:52:05

It is strange that he's still doing it, because you are obviously not reciprocating either the food or the compliments. You would think he would have stopped by now.

I too would feel unnerved by this, really you need to make it clear to him that it's inappropriate and its making you feel uncomfortable. I think it's probably best just to come out and say it as politely, but unapologetically as you can.

Then just to be on the safe side keep an incident diary of his response and any further unwanted contact so that you can use it against him if he ever turns nasty.

Good luck!

Wowserz129 Mon 07-Jan-13 15:54:24

I would trust your instincts and stay clear. Good idea to tell him your on a health kick!

Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 15:57:29

Yes I do agree with your comments, I also find it bizarre that he appears very nice to me but lives alone and doesn't really go anywhere/ have anyone visit.

I dread to think how he fills his time, planning his next batch of goodies grin

It's not funny really, I think he healthy eating suggestion is great with it being January and all.

I will say that next time hopefully he won't be too persistent, also another neighbour said he is always singing my praises which is creepy as I honestly hardly know him.

I didn't like him putting the DCs names in the card either very OTT. He has never tried to make conversation with either of them as far as I know though.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 16:22:17

You know what special ingredient he's adding just for you don't you?

Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 16:34:32

OMG please don't say that! It has crossed my mind.I've already consumed lots! It was yummy.You don't think he would do you?

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 16:42:08

I do. He has. Sorry grin

Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-13 16:43:26

Icelollycraving WHAT do you mean?!?!? <mind boggling>

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 16:47:03

He is a nice tasting 'extra ingredient'. Whats not to love? grin

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 16:47:27

He calls them them onion bhajiz.

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 16:48:27

ice grin

Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-13 16:48:49


NOBODY would do that. NOBODY.


HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 16:48:50

oh yuck.

Yes, I agree. Refuse to accept any more of his tasty treats. grin

He needs to know that nothing is going to happen here!

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 16:50:13

Does he make 'mann bread' to go with them?

Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 16:50:38

Oh sweet Jesus NO!!! That's why he insisted they were all for me bleurgh.

You really think someone would do that?

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 16:51:40


Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 16:54:28

Oh dear.

I feel ill. shock

Pinot Mon 07-Jan-13 16:55:01

I would be honest with him and tell him you find his level of attention uncomfortable and won't be accepting any more gifts.

Honesty is good - hopefully he'll learn a bit about boundaries and the next woman he takes a shine to will receive a more appropriate advance.

If he's kind, theres no need to tell a lie/make up stories or get DH to tell him.

And yes, I think he probably is making your food whilst naked and excited. Ewww.

Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-13 16:56:39

but seriously, you are joking, right? Unless he is a serial killer, surely people don't really really actually do this!

OP. They are shitting you.

Fakebook Mon 07-Jan-13 16:57:47

Wtf? shock. Are you talking about sperm in food? No way! Who'd do that?

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 16:58:39

I'm not. It happens. Could be worse,could be a Herman!

Katla Mon 07-Jan-13 16:59:36

Ug, best not to think about that possibility.

Trust your instincts - if you are getting vibes that something isn't right then give him the message that the attention isn't welcome or just start avoiding him.

I used to do high volume recruitment for a large store and gave one guy 'Shahid' a job (his previous job sounded rubbish - working nightshift in a freezer dept of a supermarket so he got frostbite on his fingers!) He was very grateful and appeared to think he owed me something or that I had particularly liked him - when he'd just said he was willing to work in the restaurant and he was breathing (we really struggled to get applicants for that area!) He used to bring me gifts and stuff and I had to ask him to stop. However he also had a kind of 'bowing down' to me manner and appear in my office all the time which made me uncomfortable so I used to try to avoid him.

Selks Mon 07-Jan-13 17:03:30

OMG Icelolly, that is so mean (but very very funny grin)

OP, he's probably just lonely and maybe you were casually friendly to him one time and now he has got a little over attached to being friendly with you. He probably means no harm. A polite 'oh how kind, but please don't make me any more as I'm going on a diet' should do the trick. And he may be isolated due to social anxiety or whatever really; doesn't mean he is odd or something weird about him.

suburbophobe Mon 07-Jan-13 17:04:43

Yes, what special ingredient? <thick>

I would be creeped out by this too and certainly wouldn't be encouraging him by telling him I'm on a health kick! Next thing you know he'll be delivering "healthy food". hmm

I wouldn't engage with him at all frankly, just a curt hallo when necessary. (I have a neighbour too who I try to avoid, he's weird...).

I think you need your husband to take your feelings about him more seriously.

Did he get your DC's names from the other neighbour maybe?

And I agree with Cailleach, some men don't respect boundaries.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 17:04:51


Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-13 17:09:38

you evil frozen dessert you shock

suburbophobe Mon 07-Jan-13 17:12:24

Oh ugh, Icelolly eeeeuuuwwww!

Proudnscary Mon 07-Jan-13 17:12:55

I think you should definitely sperm his advances from now on, tell him he mustn't come round to your house anymore. It will take a lot of spunk on your behalf but it will be worth it to see the back of him.

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:14:53


No, I refuse to believe anyone would do that.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 17:15:41

Proud grin

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:16:02

Oh, you sweet, innocent thing you. I want to cuddle you. grin

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:16:36

Just don't ask to borrow a pint of milk, eh OP? grin

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:19:52


ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 17:23:44

Don't bother with the health kick thing. His extra ingredient is practically a high protein, low carb health food. grin

ArkadyRose Mon 07-Jan-13 17:25:25

Sadly, some people are that creepy. I've worked in a number of kitchens as a patisserie chef, and I remember the time I caught one of the sous chefs adding a "special extra ingredient" to a particular dish intended for one of the silver service waitresses at a particular hotel.

(Yes, he got the sack. I don't know how many other "special" dishes he'd served up before I spotted him doing it though.)

WifeofPie Mon 07-Jan-13 17:26:02

Sorry for you troubles, OP. He sounds like a bit of a creeper; best to avoid and apologies but....


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha grin.

Seriously though, EW.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 17:27:17

I may actually namechange to Onion Bhajiz. I've been too bloody lazy to nc before.

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:29:40

We seriously need a [boggle] here.

WifeofPie Mon 07-Jan-13 17:30:10

Do it!

donteatthefiggypudding Mon 07-Jan-13 17:31:15

yep. people have indeed added their very own special ingredient to dishes.

magimedi88 Mon 07-Jan-13 17:32:32

I am so sorry he's making you feel uncomfortable, OP. I would certainly say something to him, or get your partner to. I hope the naughty Ice Lolly (who has me nearly weeping with laughter) has cheered you up a bit!

And yes to NC to Onion Bhajiz!!

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:35:35

Yes. I've been campaigning for [boggle] for years. They just won't listen grin

And yes to added extras.

I used to love fray bentos pies until I met someone who used to work for them. I will say no more...

PeachActiviaMinge Mon 07-Jan-13 17:37:57

Seems men tend to have it in for MIL's! Oh god though honestly if you're of a sensitive dispostion please don't click the link and shout at me it regards a couple of men owning up to secretly depositing their cum in other peoples food/lube/cups.

PeachActiviaMinge Mon 07-Jan-13 17:39:54

"I used to love fray bentos pies until I met someone who used to work for them. I will say no more..."

Nooooooo shock I'm bloody cooking everything from scratch myself from now on!

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:41:14

I also know someone who used to work in a chicken factory.

if I were you, I'd grow your own stuff...

OldMacEIEIO Mon 07-Jan-13 17:47:50

Politely decline the food and tell him you are on a sticky porridge and semolina diet

what could possibly go wrong

TheKindnessOfStrangers Mon 07-Jan-13 17:48:47

When I read that about him putting the names of your kids in the Xmas card I actually thought that was quite thoughtful (in an attempt to earn some brownie points I included their kids' names in my colleagues Xmas cards this year whenever I could remember them, even though I've never actually met any of these children!). But on reflection in the context of the rest of his behaviour it is creepy, and the rest of his behaviour is undoubtedly creepy - let's call a spade a spade, it's stalking. Get your husband to tell him you don't want his gifts anymore - this should a.) stop the gifts and b.) show him you've got somebody who is prepared to stick up for you.

sameoldlovebunny Mon 07-Jan-13 17:51:54

he thinks you're available and he's winning. your behaviour is telling him so. stop being polite. tell him, without being too rude, that it has to stop. your family would not approve. tell him that.

Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 17:53:28

Well I have certainly laughed his afternoon even though my stomach feels off can't think why lol.

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:54:01

maybe you're pregnant wink

Nancy66 Mon 07-Jan-13 17:55:46

is his stuff unusually salty? Even the cakes?

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:56:22

Please don't tell me about the Fray Bentos. They're my secret dirty pleasure. sad

WifeofPie Mon 07-Jan-13 17:58:19

sticky porridge and semolina

PLEASE STOP. I still have to pick up my kids from school and now I have raccoon eyes grin.

Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 17:59:43

I'm def not preggersgrin

He has never made me cakes,perhaps savoury stuff hides the taste better?

Don't know why I'm playing along the thought has disturbed me!!

Nancy66 Mon 07-Jan-13 18:01:17

I know someone who wiped his cock on a steak he served to a very annoying and high-handed customer.

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 18:05:10

Why shouldn't they be, Stratters.

they've already been someone else's...

OldMacEIEIO Mon 07-Jan-13 18:05:42

You might be able to kill two birds with one stone.
Get out of the food gifts routine, and demolish his fawning adoration of you

'Thanks but I must decline. The last onion barjees made me f@rt so much that I nearly blasted myself into a low orbit'

The McDonald's local to me had to sack all their male members of staff after some were found to be adding their own special ingredients.

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 18:09:06

<fingers in ears>

I'm not listening to yoooou.


HollaAtMeBaby Mon 07-Jan-13 18:16:29

Forget making excuses about healthy eating etc, that will just invite comments about what a lovely figure you have... Your DH needs to go round and tell him to leave you alone. Am assuming this guy is Indian (proper Indian, not brown British!) based on the type of food he makes - no way would he act like this with a married woman (or any woman) from his own culture so he knows it's not appropriate to do so with you. He's taking advantage of your English politeness and he needs to know it stops here. You could tell him yourself but it is better for your dh to do it.

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 18:20:29

Hmmm, samosa with celebration sauce....

Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 18:32:14

holla I completely agree with you, yes he Muslim and no I don't think he would so forward with a lady from his own culture.

Bluefrogs Mon 07-Jan-13 18:34:22

Sorry but did I read a description of someone as 'proper Indian not brown British'?

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 18:38:43

Couldn't quite get my head around that one either blue
How has this lighthearted thread turned into a race thing?

cinnamonnut Mon 07-Jan-13 18:46:24

These stories are horrible! Anyone else got any so we know what to avoid?!

HollaAtMeBaby Mon 07-Jan-13 18:48:18

Sorry blush posted on phone and probably didn't express that very well... by "proper Indian", I meant actually from the subcontinent. Lots of people in the UK seem to use "Indian" or "Asian" to describe people of Indian origin who are actually as British as queuing and scones (which is what I meant by "brown British").

Based on my experience of travelling in the subcontinent, Indian-Indian/proper Indian men often treat white women with less respect than Indian women - seems to be a combination of seeing white women as less modest therefore less worthy of respect, and of think that we don't have the same boundaries - which we don't always, but that is not a licence for Indian men to show less respect to non-Indian women than they would to Indian women.

Bluefrogs Mon 07-Jan-13 18:56:33

I guessed what you meant by 'proper Indian' even though it's not a term I think is acceptable,but 'brown British'?
I think the word you may be looking for is British.
Or British Asian.

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 19:05:02

Eyes 'proper indian' husband with suspision. hmm

HollaAtMeBaby Mon 07-Jan-13 19:19:42

Sorry, really didn't mean to offend.

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 19:51:52

It's ok, can't imagine he has been baking for anyone grin

moodymai Mon 07-Jan-13 20:40:18

lol at ResolutelCheeky

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 20:59:51

If a neighbour decided to cook me some food and give me a Christmas card, I'd be very grateful indeed. I like both food and Christmas. Use judgement with instinct, don't let paranoia ruin a perfectly good samosa but as has been said.

Softlysoftly Mon 07-Jan-13 21:04:04

Im actually crying for the first time on MN and DH has left the room after wondering why the actual fuck im telling him he's now "Brown British".

My new favourite term btw.

TinyDancingHoofer Mon 07-Jan-13 21:11:41

Someone i know referred to himself as brown british yesterday. I've never heard it before and now twice in as many days, is this some new slang i have missed?

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 21:46:04

Dh not liking the term 'brown British' and reckons samosas are better served with raita not jiz

HollaAtMeBaby Mon 07-Jan-13 21:51:57

I do know quite a few British Asians who refer to themselves as brown. I didn't just make it up! but I am sorry to have upset people.

Is "black British" OK? and if so, what is the difference?! <hides>

ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 22:02:18

No offense taken. I don't feel comfortable with describing anyone by a colour. I would be enraged if an adult referred to my dd as a colour. Different for young children, they tend to differenciate by colour of hair etc until they are taught differently.
I prefer Asian/British or simply British if they were born here.

Softlysoftly Tue 08-Jan-13 01:09:17

Holla I'm crying laughing not offended though DH says he's Brown Welsh actually.

Theshriekingharpy Tue 08-Jan-13 08:12:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scheherezade Tue 08-Jan-13 08:21:15

I refer to myself as white skin with dyed red hair. Wouldn't be offended if someone pointed it out...

Scheherezade Tue 08-Jan-13 08:25:41

If anything its like the people who say you shouldn't mention skin colour are saying ypu should be ashamed of having brown/black skin, its something to hide, like you wouldn't point out a persons wonky teeth or warty nose.

BJunction - he's telling her she's very beautiful and flirting with her thiugh, which takes things a lot further. I think you need to address this yourself next time it happens if you can't afford it.
Say "Can i stop you right there? I don't like you saying that. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm married and it's not appropriate."
If he offers more food say thanks but no thanks. If your DP speaks to him he might think it's coming from him and not you?

avoid it not afford

TeeBee Tue 08-Jan-13 09:33:14

Ice lolly, that was my immediate thought too.
OP, I would be inclined to say that you can't accept anymore as your husband is getting fed up with it and you feel it may becoming inappropriate.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 08-Jan-13 09:43:40

The food is kind gesture,assuming there are no special ingredients,but the flirting is highly inappropriate. It's not just being friendly. He knows you have children.

Tell him to stop and if he doesn't,ask your husband to tell him. Not in an aggressive way,just firmly.

ResolutelyCheeky Tue 08-Jan-13 09:46:35

Seriously, you need to involve your husband. It would be seen as very disrespectful if someone was giving this kind of attention to the man's wife (if he had been married)

HormonalHousewife Tue 08-Jan-13 09:50:49

You know you have been far too nice too this guy.

Grow some and tell him firmly that enough is enough or get your dh too

fauntle Tue 22-Jan-13 15:42:29

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ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 22-Jan-13 15:45:45

fauntle wtf? why would he do that? That's just...vile <sounds lame but can't find the word I want>

How could you find evidence of spermies? confused

You wouldn't notice anything, what with them being quite small....

<boak> at 'spunky' food though envy

fauntle Tue 22-Jan-13 15:49:55

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DreamySleepyNightySnoozySnooze Tue 22-Jan-13 15:51:11

Can't believe no one's linked to the jizz cookbook yet! There are actually some weird people out there who really do cook with it. confused

fosterdream Tue 22-Jan-13 15:51:18


ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 22-Jan-13 15:52:29

Honestly I would be horrified not excited. What a complete lack of respect for you/women he must have to think it's acceptable to put his bodily fluids in food for you.

I appreciate everyone has different tastes etc and if it doesn't horrify you then whatever floats your boat but seriously is what he did even legal?

This thread has put me off cake...

ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 22-Jan-13 15:53:17

It's one thing if two people agree on it, but to sneak it in to food is just....

fuckadoodlepoopoo Tue 22-Jan-13 15:59:41

I know someone who wiped his cock on a steak he served to a very annoying and high-handed customer.

Not immediately after it was cooked i hope! That would buuurrrn!

fauntle Tue 22-Jan-13 16:02:12

I know it seems bad, but he was young and does seem genuinely horrified with himself. I actually admit I went on to try it with an ex and to be honest, I don't see the problem with it - if it's consensual of course! Goes well with chocolate!

fauntle you weren't angry that someone fed you a spunk cake confused

wonders if women who fancy men feed them period cake

fauntle Tue 22-Jan-13 16:05:08

80% angry, 20% interested!

ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 22-Jan-13 16:06:24

wiping your cock on someone elses meat? (boom boom) shock

Wow. Every day is an education on mumsnet

I can't imagine wanting to ruin good chocolate with spunk. However you can buy that Lindt chocolate with salt in it, which is a similar kind of idea.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Tue 22-Jan-13 16:08:53

Its strange that he did it again and again fauntle like some weird experiment. Did he think he was going to make you want him or something?

fauntle Tue 22-Jan-13 16:12:26

I honestly don't know. The sad truth is that I did like him, and he didn't have to do that to get what he wanted! Too much time has passed now anyway. I am amazed that nobody else on here has tried it though, I mean surely if you swallow and you like to eat good food...well, you know!

mirry2 Tue 22-Jan-13 16:20:12

Fauntle, how could you? shock I'm heaving at the thought.

Berts Tue 22-Jan-13 16:21:33

OP, you have to be VERY firm and clear with this guy. I've had several experiences with men like this before, and it went on because I was too shy and polite and thought I could just avoid them till they went away. Eventually you just have to make it absolutely crystal clear that you are not interested.

Tell him that his compliments and presents of food are inappropriate, that you have not said so before because you didn't want to be rude, but that if he continues to give you gifts or compliments then it is disrespectful to you and it is disrespectful to your husband.

He'll probably give you a load of crap about how he's just being friendly, or maybe even that you led him on. Or really anything to put you on the back foot and make you feel like you're the one being rude. You are not, he is. Just be firm, don't concede any ground or he will take it as an invitation to be your own personal stalker. Nip it in the bud.

fauntle Sun 27-Jan-13 02:28:34

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Icelollycraving Sun 27-Jan-13 02:43:57

Fauntle,I think you may very well be on your own. Saves you seasoning though.

fauntle Sun 27-Jan-13 03:13:02

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CharlieSilver Sun 27-Jan-13 03:13:39

Your DP spuffs on your food?!

<clutches pearls>

CharlieSilver Sun 27-Jan-13 03:15:34

You take DPs spuff with you to add to your meal ON YOUR OWN ACORD??

<Clutches pearls tighter and sits down>

CharlieSilver Sun 27-Jan-13 03:16:59


Icelollycraving Sun 27-Jan-13 03:27:49

Let me get this right? Your dp spunks on your dinner & you take some kind of container of it when you go out for dinner. I have pretty broad minded friends & I don't know anyone who would do it or perhaps admit to it.

fauntle Sun 27-Jan-13 03:31:56

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fauntle Sun 27-Jan-13 03:41:29

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fauntle Sun 27-Jan-13 03:52:44

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ipswichwitch Sun 27-Jan-13 03:59:06

Wow. I really have heard it all now.

MusicalEndorphins Sun 27-Jan-13 04:27:40


What was it about this thread that encouraged you to join mumsnet fauntle?

CheerfulYank Sun 27-Jan-13 05:32:07

I...I just... shock

I've never thought of myself as a prude before BUT. <buttons cardigan all the way up and goes to sit in the pearl-clutching corner with Charlie>

TheFallenNinja Sun 27-Jan-13 06:31:46

45 year old men who live alone and start giving gifts to women are not to be trusted, sorry, it is weird.

Unleash hubby, mark his card.

Montybojangles Sun 27-Jan-13 07:23:24

Can honestly say that tipping cold conjealed spunk onto my steak in a restaurant is never going to rock my boat Fauntle

zignzag Sun 27-Jan-13 07:30:19

Fauntle ... Your obviously telling big fat tales!! Great imagination .....

Maybe you could get this guys address and pay him a visit. You would make a great couple and problem solved for op!! No more spunky cuisine.

MariusEarlobe Sun 27-Jan-13 07:47:10

Vomits at this thread.
I had similar issues with my old landlord, not food thank God but he started coming to the house daily bringing toys and books for dd and wanting to chat and bringing rugs and such for the house and cookery books.

Then he started bringing nice new things round

At first I thought he was just being friendly but then he started coming round six plus times a day, peering through the windows and ringing the bell over and over.

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 08:05:34

Thanks, Fauntle. You have put me off my breakfast. I'm glad I don't know you.

ClartyCarol Sun 27-Jan-13 08:10:38

What a load of balls. That was to Fauntie obv.

OP, hope you've managed to put your admirer/stalker off.

stifnstav Sun 27-Jan-13 08:11:57

I'm retching at fauntle!

Seriously, cut open a cake and see if any white liquid comes out? Like a spunk-based melt in the middle pudding?!

I would bin anything he gave. I don't eat things made by children, let alone potential sex-chefs.

catladycourtney1 Sun 27-Jan-13 08:17:18

I hope he's adding his special ingredient before he cooks the food, and not after... what if he has something nasty? Eww. Well actually, I hope he isn't adding it at all, but I think that's probably being too naive.

Maybe it's just a cultural thing? Not even cultural really, but to do with his upbringing. Maybe he equates feeding you with showing love and affection. Maybe he's a feeder! He's trying to get you so fat that your husband won't want you and then he can get you to go round and crush him with your belly.

I think my imagination is working too hard for this time in a morning. You should definitely get your dh to step in, though. He might not be quite as harmless as you think.

Softlysoftly Sun 27-Jan-13 08:22:55

Great why did I catch up on this thread at tea and toast time? Now all I can see are the words "slightly salted" on my butter sad

GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 08:34:53

Fauntle is taking the piss - don't believe it, he is probably a 17 year old lad having a wank at all our shock faces.

ChristmasJubilee Sun 27-Jan-13 08:44:06

I must have led a very sheltered life!

OP don't accept anything else from this man. When he next speaks to you tell him you find his attention inappropriate and that it has to stop. Don't worry about being rude or upsetting him, his behaviour is not normal.

Are you on Facebook? Are your settings secure. Could he be a friend of a friend. It's better that he is not getting any information about you from anywhere else.

Euphemia Sun 27-Jan-13 08:58:20

Oh lord are there cum trolls now? Is that a thing?

scratchandsniff Sun 27-Jan-13 08:59:04

Hmmm mefinks Fauntle is telling porkies. Can't see how you could eat at a restaurant with friends and them not notice you putting jizz on your food.

You should definitely bin any future offerings from the neighbour.

Fakebook Sun 27-Jan-13 09:13:58

Fauntle, you must be really fucked up in the head to make up a story like that. How pathetic.

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 10:07:52

Fankly, Fauntle, that's the sort of thing that should be reported to the Police. Mumsnet officers, what's your opinion?

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 10:08:10


MimmeeBack Sun 27-Jan-13 10:19:19

envy << sick face

Fauntle- bullshit and lies.

The rest of this thread has had me grin

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 27-Jan-13 10:56:51

I was on the Fauntle line of thought from the beginning. I would feel uneasy eating something a virtual stranger had made for me in these circumstances. I can't believe this guy gives you the beautiful spiel knowing you have a DH. Pretty cheeky if you ask me.

GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 13:28:15

I doubt this bloke has jizzed in your samosas.

But he is overstepping the mark. Tell him that his remarks to you are inappropriate and as a married woman you are offended, and want him to stop.

bootsycollins Sun 27-Jan-13 13:39:05

He's grooming you, sounds really weird

Callycat Sun 27-Jan-13 13:58:26

Holla: I know what you meant, my British Indian bf calls his 'Indian Indian' friend "brown boy" as part of laddish piss-talking. I wouldn't use it myself but it is a common in-joke in some circles.

Everythingwillbeok Sun 27-Jan-13 17:27:33

Hi guys thanks for all your responses and advice. I'm not on fb thank god as I suspect he would be looking me up on there. I've actually not seem him around for about ten days as the snow has kept everyone inside where we live.But then last night im putting something I the bin and I heard him call me through the bushes! I shouted you frightened me to death and he was laughing.

But as I was startled I was annoyed, I turned to walk back in and he shouts you like vodka? I said no not really- lie. Then he shouts come and have one with me......I said no I will not, and slammed the door. I hope he has got the message now as normally I chat with him as I don't want to be rude.So ill see what he is like next time I see him. Some if the responses on here have had me in stitches,but some have made me feel sick!

enjoyinglife Sun 27-Jan-13 18:13:18

I'd keep up the chilly attitude with him. If I doesn't work then it will at least be in a better position to call him on it.

AmberLeaf Sun 27-Jan-13 18:37:00

Sounds like a real creep.

The sort that takes politeness as 'I want to have sex with you'

You say you dont want to be rude, but with men like this one that is exactly what you need to do, tell him to fuck off, you'll soon see what hes really about when you do, he'll prob give you a few choice misogynistic words back.

That, or tell your husband to have a word with him.

Latara Sun 27-Jan-13 19:12:41

OMG are you sure he's not my dodgy neighbour too??

Except my dodgy neighbour is married (i'm not) & he has never offered food, only coffee (and i don't think it was just coffee IYKWIM).

Luckily my neighbour has recently been more 'normal' (he has a drink problem) & not bothered me for a few months. He's also scared of my dad, who visits my house quite often luckily.

I think it's annoying that your DH thinks it's 'amusing' - my dad found it funny, too. VERY annoying when one word from my dad would have scared off the dodgy neighbour months earlier.

You need to tell your DH it's time to get protective & get rid of this nuisance neighbour before you have stalker problems.

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