weddings and oaps

(332 Posts)
Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 13:28:58

I have been invited to a wedding where the bride has developed what must really be called a phobia about old people. (Long story)

She refuses to have any one over 70 in case there is a "medical emergency" which would spoil her day and in order to avoid an outcry she proposes to organise a coach trip for the old people to see The Lion King as a treat on the same day with a special tea at a Holiday Inn afterwards and a video link to her ceremony.

Her mother is 72 and is allowed to go because she recently passed a stringent medical, but no one else of a similar age is allowed. My mother is 73 and looked after her a lot when she was little and really wants to go. Also, she has seen The Lion King already. I think she should be allowed to go to the wedding as a fit and healthy sort of "extra" mother. AIBU?

Nixea Mon 07-Jan-13 13:32:02

While I think your friend is batshit crazy slightly odd, unfortunately I guess it's her wedding so as rude or inconsiderate as it seems, she's allowed to set the guest list however she wants.

Sounds really unfair for your mum though, sorry.

DozyDuck Mon 07-Jan-13 13:33:39

Wow. Really? I wouldn't go to either of I was your mum.

AngelWreakinHavoc Mon 07-Jan-13 13:33:45

That is the most bizarre thing I think I've ever heard confused

YouOldSlag Mon 07-Jan-13 13:34:30

The bride is bonkers and mad and needs a firm talking to. Most over 70s that i know would feel horribly patronized and excluded. More fool her too, as the over 70s I know are very engaging company. She is off her rocker and will be seriously unpopular if she does this.

Besides which, it's illogical, anyone of any age can have a medical emergency. is he going to exclude diabetics? pregnant women? epileptics? small children who could choke or fall?

The world does not stop if someone is wearing a white dress for a day.

squeakytoy Mon 07-Jan-13 13:36:34

barking mad!

LotsaTuddles Mon 07-Jan-13 13:37:10

That's odd, jeez, if I had the rule that anyone that might have a medical emergency can't come to my wedding there wouldn't be many people there (although as we need to drastically cut back some numbers, I may approach this way of thinking, but only a couple of over 70's coming anyway, so maybe not).

I was thinking of saying no really small children, but as my (unborn as yet) dc will be about 8 months (if my maths is right) I can't really have one rule for one and not the other.

But as people keep saying to me, it's her wedding, she can do as she pleases, she only has to make herself (and he fiance) happy, everyone else can do one grin (the wise words of my soon to be MiL

helpyourself Mon 07-Jan-13 13:38:21

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Kveta Mon 07-Jan-13 13:40:47

I hope she is taking a full medical history from every guest so she can exclude any other risky prospects.

JamesBexleySpeed Mon 07-Jan-13 13:41:55

Woah, help, this isn't going to end well!

LotsaTuddles Mon 07-Jan-13 13:44:20

I believe you, I have seen perfectly normal women turn completely insane and not even slightly like themselves when it comes to getting married grin

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 13:45:24

My mother did offer to have a medical too, but she said if she made an exception for her, she would have to offer everyone the option of a full medical. I pointed out it would be cheaper than The Lion King and a fancy tea, but she can't see it.

ThatArtfulPussy Mon 07-Jan-13 13:49:12

I hate that feeling that there's a joke somewhere that I'm missing.

Sallyingforth Mon 07-Jan-13 13:50:47

If this was true, I wouldn't accept an invitation to go.

Hammy02 Mon 07-Jan-13 13:51:15

Who the hell does she think she is thinking someone would want to watch her wedding via video link?! What is it about weddings that turns some people bonkers? I say this as someone that got married a little over a year ago, didn't have my dress until a week before and couldn't have given a shit.

AudrinaAdare Mon 07-Jan-13 13:54:27

"Also, she has seen The Lion King already"


I don't know why but every time I read that line it's making me laugh.

LotsaTuddles Mon 07-Jan-13 14:03:37

Me too Audrina

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 14:09:25

I can see how difficult it was to choose a musical that would appeal to everyone over 70, but I agree, I think she should have offered a choice, at least two other aunts have seen The Lion King too. She should have offered a choice and then gone with the majority.

Alligatorpie Mon 07-Jan-13 14:13:41

This is the weirdest thing I have ever read. it cannot be true!

TaggieCampbellBlack Mon 07-Jan-13 14:21:54


How can I get invited? I really want to go.

I am under 70.

Kveta Mon 07-Jan-13 14:22:00

my grandmother is over 70, and would not have wanted to see The Lion King fwiw.

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Jan-13 14:26:07

What if there is a mass medical emergency while they're watching the Lion King? Very irresponsible of the bride.

sue52 Mon 07-Jan-13 14:27:45

Just asked my 73 year old DH if he would rather a trip to see the Lion King followed by a nice tea or attend a wedding . I'm afraid his reply was unrepeatable.

PandaOnAPushBike Mon 07-Jan-13 14:29:29

Bonkers. Complete stark, raving, bat-shit bonkers. shock

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 14:31:07

She has arranged for her second cousin, a doctor in his third year of training, to go on the coach and to the theatre and tea with them and has also bought a defibullator thing in case there is heavy traffic.

Badvoc Mon 07-Jan-13 14:33:46

She is mad as a box of frogs hully.

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 07-Jan-13 14:34:37

Just bizarre, the bride sounds totally nuts- what's the groom saying about this?!

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Jan-13 14:37:16

A defibulator? A gadget that detects fibs? wink

Will the wedding reception be at a naice carvery?

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 14:37:24

The people I feel sorriest for are her godparents, E and F, two of the nicest old boys you could meet. They are flying in from the far side of the world and she hasn't told them they have to go to the musical. She says it will be a "lovely surprise" for them and they will enjoy spending time with the other old folk.

Badvoc Mon 07-Jan-13 14:40:03

...there were many oaps at my wedding, inc 2 who were wheelchair bound and it NEVER occurred to me that anything might/would/could happen!
What in earth does her fiancé think? And his family?
I less she has been at a wedding where an oap has dropped down dead at her feet I can't see where her phobia comes from?
And even if that had actually happened, surely that's a one off tragedy? Nt something likely to happen again?

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 14:42:26

Honestly, if I told you the story you wouldn't believe me.

I´ve been on the other side of this.

I am not over 70 infact at the time I was in my 20´s

But I was suffering seizures.

The Friend whose wedding it was, I had looked after for months, and she was family

She didn´t even tell me, I got a letter from a thrid party.

Broke my heart, that I was not welcome incase I "took attention away from her" or "damaged something" (actual quotes)

I´ve not spoken to her or her family since the uninvite, which was a big thing, as I used to spend hours on the phone to them every day (they used to call me, to talk due to another problem) They´d ring in the middle of the night, when I was at work etc. BUt for all that I was not allowed to see her get married.

Still upsets me know.

LettyAshton Mon 07-Jan-13 14:47:38

I wish I could have packed off some of the OAPS at my wedding to see The Lion King. Bloody pains in the arse they were. Elderly people can misbehave just as much as toddlers, if not more so, at weddings with their guestzilla antics.

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Mon 07-Jan-13 14:49:20

Hully I've an exam at 6.30 (which I've done shag all work for) but I HAD to log on to ask - WTF???????

You do realise you will have to disclose the back story (with details changed to protect the innocent...)

Itchywoolyjumper Mon 07-Jan-13 14:49:29

Oh Hully, I can't help laughing at the medical cover she's organised for the theatre trip grin
I'm also wondering how she's going to word the invitation to the OAP's trip - "Dear Auntie Maud, I would have loved you to come to my wedding but unfortunately you are old and therefore more at risk of dying which might put the kybosh on an otherwise lovely day, please accept these tickets to the Lion King with my compliments, love the bride x "
Poor girl, she sounds like a lovely person who's having a bit of wedding induced madness.

Astelia Mon 07-Jan-13 14:50:19

Seriously? She is crazy. I know loads of people in their 70s and they are all fit as a fiddle. I have never heard anything like this.

Your mother should refuse the coach/film invitation. No reason why she should be patronised.

AlanMoore Mon 07-Jan-13 14:52:52

I wouldn't let a third year medical student near me with a thermometer, never mind a defibrillator!

Startail Mon 07-Jan-13 14:53:44

I hope, OP that this is a very early April fools joke, or the bride needs taking away by the men in white coats.

Itchywoolyjumper Mon 07-Jan-13 14:53:51

Mummywithnosleep, that's really sad, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I wonder if the OP's bride has considered the hurt she'll cause.


That is all.

I hope your mum buys them a really shite present!

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Mon 07-Jan-13 14:57:14

Tell her fiance to run for the hills.

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 14:59:33

Well, she first got married (nearly) at age 19. I think she wanted to get married so young because of her parents. Her mother had run off and her father (then about 40) had married another, much older woman (71), who had had a lot of work done, in fairness.

While they were at the altar her stepmother, who had a weight problem, and slight drink one if truth be known although they kept it quiet, tripped over the flower basket and fell heavily on the bride's sweet poodle who she had in lieu of bridesmaids as she was too young for anyone else to have had kids.

The wedding was cancelled (probably a good thing), but it did start this fear of oaps at weddings, which I suppose one can see.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Mon 07-Jan-13 15:00:13

Omg could you imagine her with a pfb?

Latonia Mon 07-Jan-13 15:01:08

If I was one of the over 70s (and I'm not far off) I would tell her to stick the Lion King and video of the wedding where the sun don't shine.

I hope she remembers this when she's over 70. Can maybe understand over 90s if she must but 70s!

FriendlyLadybird Mon 07-Jan-13 15:01:12

This is very, very funny -- but not, unfortunately, for all those who are above the age limit for her wedding. I suggest your mother sends a brief, to-the-point reply -- f- off, for example!

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Mon 07-Jan-13 15:01:54

Poor poodle.

Jins Mon 07-Jan-13 15:02:34

This is one of those occasions where a subquent engagement comes in handy

OrangeLily Mon 07-Jan-13 15:03:22

Hahahahaha this is a joke right?

Please immediately ditch this 'friend'. A defibrillator on a bus full of OAPd being shipped off to a musical. Who the feck does she think she is?

I speak from being a recent (crazy) bride. The person with the biggest risk of dropping dead at my wedding was 26! (Due to allergies). I didn't really even consider the OAPs as death risks hmm

PilotRochester Mon 07-Jan-13 15:04:33

Is this for real? I kind of hope it's not. That's an awful way to treat senior members of her family. Has she considered that a younger member could ALSO have a medical emergency??

PatriciaHolm Mon 07-Jan-13 15:04:35

Hully, are you writing a novel or something grin

because I don't believe a word you've posted so far! wink

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Mon 07-Jan-13 15:04:39

What happens if one of her guests is pregnant?

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Jan-13 15:05:40

Hully, are you on a mission to finish off the Christmas sherry? grin

Badvoc Mon 07-Jan-13 15:05:52


JessieMcJessie Mon 07-Jan-13 15:06:07

You're making this up!

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 15:06:25

She is following the airline guidelines re pregnancy, no one over five months (I think) allowed.

FriendlyLadybird Mon 07-Jan-13 15:07:15

No! I just don't believe the poodle story. You were marginally on the right side of convincing before ... but no longer. Very funny though.

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 15:08:25

I told you no one would believe it.

Fact is stranger than fiction.

I have to go out now, but i might speak to her again about it all.

5madthings Mon 07-Jan-13 15:08:26

If this is true she is mad and I would just boycott the wedding.

Airlines let you fly past five maths and you can fly quite late in preg as long as you have a note from a Dr/midwife.

Narked Mon 07-Jan-13 15:09:00

'has also bought a defibullator thing in case there is heavy traffic.'


Well done on creating an original wedding thread. Child-free weddings are so passe.

firesidechat Mon 07-Jan-13 15:11:06

Daughter recently got married, so I've come across some eyebrow raising bridezilla stories over the last couple of years (Not my daughter. She was lovely) but now I've heard it all.

On our last trip abroad the plane had to be diverted due to a medical emergency. Stupidly assumed that it would be an older person having a heart attack until a woman in her twenties walked off the plane. She had had an epileptic fit. Medical emergencies happen at any age.

bowerbird Mon 07-Jan-13 15:11:14

Not only is this totally batshit crazy, as an eloquent MN poster stated, it's mean, stupid and terribly ageist.

If you attend the wedding, you are saying that this is behaviour is acceptable. Have you considered declining the invitation?

maddening Mon 07-Jan-13 15:12:12

If she is a close friend could you point out gently that her idea is fucking shit.

Particularly foe the people coming from abroad - she could video link to the boring bit ceremony so they can thank the lord that they didn't go all that way forthe frigging lion king.

Someone needs to tell her she is being frightfully rude and in danger of really insulting some very important people in her life (and I assume the grooms family too) - if she goes ahead with that plan she is crazy (and cutting herself from a few inheritances wink)

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 07-Jan-13 15:12:30

Are you on drugs Hully?
And if so, can I have some?

MadamFolly Mon 07-Jan-13 15:12:30

Hully, this is utterly mad, it cannot be true. Can it?

Narked Mon 07-Jan-13 15:14:11

'her stepmother, who had a weight problem, and slight drink one if truth be known although they kept it quiet, tripped over the flower basket and fell heavily on the bride's sweet poodle who she had in lieu of bridesmaids as she was too young for anyone else to have had kids.'

That is beautiful. I'm imagining it in soft focus, like a memory sequence in an afternoon movie. It ends with her screaming, 'Binky, NOOOOO!!!!!' <echo as image fades out>

Having seen some of HullyGully's previous posts on various threads, I'm not sure I can quite bring myself to believe this. grin

If this is true, the personally I'd have to decline the invite and explain why.

Otherwise, I'm wondering what the point being made is here.

Badvoc Mon 07-Jan-13 15:15:03

Hully, if this is not a wind up this person needs counselling/help!
It is not normal!
Even with her past sad experience, the vast majority of people would realise that her step mothers weight and other health issues were the problem, not her age?
She needs to prepare herself for a lot of wedding regret cards I way I would go.

jumpingjackhash Mon 07-Jan-13 15:15:37

This is a piss take, surely?

I cannot believe that anyone would actually think this is an appropriate way to deal with potential wedding guests, let alone actually do it. If it IS true, someone needs to talk sense into this bridezilla.

CinnabarRed Mon 07-Jan-13 15:18:17

Don't believe a word of it!


grimbletart Mon 07-Jan-13 15:18:40

A good wedding gift for this person would be to pay for a course of intense psychiatric treatment to sort out her head.

jumpingjackhash Mon 07-Jan-13 15:21:12

Or get her a copy of the Lion King on DVD, grimble?

MissPB Mon 07-Jan-13 15:22:38

Well I for one am almost crying with laughter at the OP and am feeling hysteria rising. Must control myself - this is priceless! grin

Guessing this is a comment on children at weddings?
If not, its quite possibly the strangest thing I've ever read

QuickLookBusy Mon 07-Jan-13 15:27:03

Lion king?

Im sure they would much prefer something a little more racy.
How's about Dirty Dancing? I'm sure they won't mind missing the wedding then.

threesocksmorgan Mon 07-Jan-13 15:28:15

the bride is crazy, and doesn't sound very nice.

FelicityWasSanta Mon 07-Jan-13 15:31:41

Hully did someone bet you that regulars could post any old shit and not be called liars?

bran Mon 07-Jan-13 15:32:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Astelia Mon 07-Jan-13 15:33:27

grin grin it just gets better. Poor poodle.

ComposHat Mon 07-Jan-13 15:34:00

This must be a joke . Either way I laughed so hard I nearly ruptured myself.

It is an amazing story.

garlicbollocks Mon 07-Jan-13 15:38:30

Gosh, Hully, what a story!

Looks like your bride's phobia is the real deal - an irrational terror of old people at weddings - so no amount of logic will overcome it. Part of the definition of a phobia is that it is irrational! Could be worse, I suppose; imagine if she had a fear of rings wink

Anyways ... What she's done wrong is not to have this phobia, which she can't help. It's over-managing it. I think she ought to come clean with the overseas guests, so they have a choice between being sort-of there on the day or being remotely there via t'interweb.

Dictating cinema entertainment for the over-70s is weird and controlling, even though she meant well. It would be kinder to set them up in a comfy environment together, with a big-screen live feed of her wedding. I also feel they should be invited to the after-party, as the 'danger' is then over.

MinnieBar Mon 07-Jan-13 15:39:43

Do they get the choice to tell her to shove it and just NOT GO?

Methinks Hully is not being entirely truthful.

No one could be this deranged.

I love the Lion King. Can I go with the over 70s? Am 8 months pregnant but a qualified first aider so might be of use.

Also, what happened to the Poodle? Was it miniature, toy, or standard poodle?

TheBigJessie Mon 07-Jan-13 15:41:55

So, Hully...

What post challenge were you set? Whatever it was, I think you won! Perhaps a demerit for believability! grin

minouminou Mon 07-Jan-13 15:43:19

So much for the circle of life, eh

This is one of the funniest things I've see on here in ages!

Put us out of our misery and tell us it's not true.....

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 07-Jan-13 15:43:27

i need to know the proper story.

i suppose there are no babies either?
what about people with known illnesses? she should ban asthmatics too.
and anyone who takes regular medication.

AudrinaAdare Mon 07-Jan-13 15:45:16

The first ever autism-friendly west-end performance is The Lion King in April smile

Has the bride seen it? Surely she would know that we, even the elderly, are all part of the Great Circle of Life?

<joins madness and imagines Lion-King themed wedding>

101handbags Mon 07-Jan-13 15:47:11

This is so funny, it can't be true. One of my favourite threads ever. My family are also totally crazy and have been thinking how I could have a wedding without them... thanks for giving me the idea... I think a trip to the National Theatre would suit them more, many are rather clever/intellectual types.

ChristmasNamechangeBridezilla Mon 07-Jan-13 15:47:25

The phobia about old people is a real thing.

I used to work with someone who had it, she couldn't go into a post office without having a panic attack. grin [Sorry, not funny]

ipswichwitch Mon 07-Jan-13 15:47:32

well, if you follow her logic she should also ban stepmothers, overweight people, alcohol, flower baskets and poodles. <helpful>

bran Mon 07-Jan-13 15:51:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChaoticintheNewYear Mon 07-Jan-13 15:51:51

Guessing this is a comment on children at weddings?

This ^^

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Jan-13 16:01:22

I agree, I think it's about child-free weddings. In which case - good point well made. grin (Circle of life and all that.)

CinnabarRed Mon 07-Jan-13 16:01:33

I used to work with someone who had a phobia of mushrooms.

And another whose DH was phobic of buttons. She had to do his shirt up for him every morning because he couldn't do it himself. When she went away on business she would prep enough shirts to cover her absence by doing up all but the top button and then he could pull it shut at the neck using his tie.

FloweryDrawers Mon 07-Jan-13 16:03:53

Having failed to come up with a response that doesn't involve the words Creosoted Fuck, I will have to leave the advice to others.

An ex boss's wife had a phobia of balloons, so any Christmas events I organised had to be balloon free.

BackforGood Mon 07-Jan-13 16:07:03

Marking place to find out what hallogenic drug is the true source of this story. wink

Tee2072 Mon 07-Jan-13 16:08:14

Hully is a poster of long standing but I'm finding it hard to swallow this story.

marchwillsoonbehere Mon 07-Jan-13 16:13:44

I used to work with someone who had a phobia of mushrooms. And another whose DH was phobic of buttons.

Good thing it wasn't the same person Cinnabar...imagine having a phobia of button mushrooms grin

YouOldSlag Mon 07-Jan-13 16:13:47

I believed it until the fat stepmother landed on the poodle.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 07-Jan-13 16:15:51

Tee - you cynic shock

gwenniebee Mon 07-Jan-13 16:17:33

Hully, I have done two work-outs in three days, the first exercise I've done since finding I was pg, and my stomach muscles are sore enough! Stop, I beg you, stop!

Did you speak to her again about it like you said, though?

Tee2072 Mon 07-Jan-13 16:17:52

You'd better believe it nickel.

wriggletto Mon 07-Jan-13 16:22:10

I think it's rather lovely that the bride had her poodle as an attendant. Did she let any of the guests bring their dogs as a +1? Would have been lovely to have had a little table set aside for them, so they could get to know each other, have a good sniff, exchange emails, etc.

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 16:22:26

It does sound incredible, doesn't it? What I have always wondered is why no one got her help long ago, her phobia has really restricted her life, she has never been to bingo, can't go to the post office (like that other one up there^^), and she can't go to the early morning swim or weightwatchers.

Tee2072 Mon 07-Jan-13 16:24:10

I imagine she can't shop in M&S either.

They're not just OAPs, they're M&S OAPs...

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 16:24:27

The poodle was sweet, it had a pink ribbon and little skirt like thing to match her dress. It was a toy poodle so it never stood a chance, sadly. The stepmother also suffered a head injury and spent the rest of her life thinking she was Leslie Phillips, which in some way was a kind of justice, I suppose.

Tee2072 Mon 07-Jan-13 16:25:20

Whatever the bet was, Hully, I think you've won it!

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 16:27:11

There was/is no bet

Tee2072 Mon 07-Jan-13 16:28:29

It was borderline believable until "spent the rest of her life thinking she was Leslie Phillips".

Too far!

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Mon 07-Jan-13 16:30:53

I may cry. Leslie Phillips! Got to go and fail my exam now, feck it anyway!

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 16:31:37

What do you mean?

Have you never come across False Identity Syndrome? There are some interesting papers about it on Your Medical Sympton.Com

PatriciaHolm Mon 07-Jan-13 16:33:11

Ah, now, Leslie Phillips was were the thread jumped the shark, methinks.

jumpingjackhash Mon 07-Jan-13 16:34:34

Leslie Phillips grin

ChaoticintheNewYear Mon 07-Jan-13 16:35:39


MadamFolly Mon 07-Jan-13 16:38:31

Oh Hully


Your Medical

Have you been spending too much time on there Hully dear because of your injury?

Leslie Phillips my arse grin

EldritchCleavage Mon 07-Jan-13 16:42:02

Leslie Phillips!

TandB Mon 07-Jan-13 16:44:55

I don't want to believe that Hully would lie to us.

Not Hully.

I'm trying really, really hard to believe it....but I don't.

I'm in a whole world of conflict here.


fluffyraggies Mon 07-Jan-13 16:46:36

PMSL here grin

It was the words "sweet poodle" that did for me for some reason.

complexnumber Mon 07-Jan-13 16:48:48

Ding Dong!

Fantastic Hully!

FelicityWasSanta Mon 07-Jan-13 16:51:20

Come on Hully, games up, come clean...

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 16:54:01

I can't believe all the unkind prejudice about Leslie Phillips. She had had a life long crush on him and I suppose her injured brain just took her to the heart of her dreams in a very literal way.

Have some kindness and sympathy, and also, think of her husband having to live with it.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 07-Jan-13 16:56:58

pannda - i don't think she would lie to us either.
it's Hully - more of an oracle than the Oracle.

CheeseandPickledOnion Mon 07-Jan-13 16:59:22


bran Mon 07-Jan-13 16:59:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EldritchCleavage Mon 07-Jan-13 17:01:27

Oh, I say

Damn, I'm now stuck in Leslie Phillips mode.

JenaiMorris Mon 07-Jan-13 17:06:55

On return from their honeymoon the bride could invite the OAP guests for a viewing of the wedding video (with her medical student relative in attendance) and present them all with a photo of the happy couple in a Lion King frame.

I fail to see the issue tbh.

ethelb Mon 07-Jan-13 17:11:04

this is like an inverse no child wedding thread

Viviennemary Mon 07-Jan-13 17:11:25

It is an insane idea. I wouldn't go to a wedding where that was the rule on principle. Still some people will be saying no different from not allowing lots of children.

MardyBra Mon 07-Jan-13 17:16:54

My parents (in their 70s) didn't like The Lion King much as they didn't know the songs (having never watched the Disney version). How about Oliver, The Sound of Music or Grease. They have good foot-tappers for the old'uns. We Will Rock You could be a bit loud for them though, and they would probably think the skirts a bit short in Viva Forever.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 07-Jan-13 17:19:14

I think The Sound of Music would be very pensioner friendly.

MrsBW Mon 07-Jan-13 17:20:42

You should tell her that at a recent wedding I attended, the only emergency was caused by a child who set fire to themselves. Literally. Thankfully the Best Man saw and put him out before any damage was caused - to the child at least. The Best Man got burned pretty badly.

How on earth is she going to explain to them that she 'doesn't want them at her wedding in case they keel over thanks, but it's OK as we're laying on a lovely spread for you'

Your friend is being utterly bizarre - even more so if she expects any of the OAPs to actually attend.

shewhowines Mon 07-Jan-13 17:21:07

Won't somebody think of the poor poodle.

Narked Mon 07-Jan-13 17:22:43

The dog wore a skirt? And the SM became Leslie Phillips?

I think I love you.

<scene appears in soft focus>

A young couple stand at the altar. The bride respendent in white. Her poodle resplendent in pink. They say 'I do'. Everyone stands to clap and the hefty step-mother moves closer to take a picture. She doesn't see the floral arrangements shock. She falls, in slow motion, the father of the bride's voice a long, distorted 'NOOOOOooooo!' as he reaches for her in vain. A close up of the innocent dog with shining eyes, then oblivion. A mass of floral print and flowers covers the floor. The bride turns in horror, screaming, 'Binky, NOooooo!!' As her wail fades and the scene becomes fuzzy we hear a muffled, 'Ding Dong!'

MrsBW Mon 07-Jan-13 17:23:54

shewhowines haha!

That'll teach me to read more than the first page before posting...

OMG this is hysterical, the bride is bat shit crazy. I'd boycott any of her lunatic plans for the aged. My 73 year old Mum wouldn't even want to see the Lion King or watch her precious wedding on video link. What a horrible bride.
Now we can all wait with baited breath to find out how this all pans out, and if one of the young 20 something guests has an allergic reaction to the food, or gets drink and falls and cuts their head. God forbid the bride or groom could fall ill, or have an accident. Stupid woman.
Maybe you could link her this thead and she can see how silly she looks to the rest of the normal world.

Pandemoniaa Mon 07-Jan-13 17:32:30

I can only assume that Hully, like me right now, is suffering from scriptwriter's block and has needed Some Sort of Diversion to try and overcome it. And to give her credit, all was going really rather well until Leslie Phillips and the sweet poodle made an appearance.

JustFabulous Mon 07-Jan-13 17:36:29

I have only read the first few posts so far but hully you really need to have a word. Seriously.

magimedi88 Mon 07-Jan-13 17:39:31

I hope no one goes to her wedding, with an ageist attitude like that.

Can you imagine what would happen if she said No Blacks or Gays at my wedding??

I suspect someone has said what I've said already but I can't be arsed to read the whole thread as it is making me so cross.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 07-Jan-13 17:45:56

It's always best to read the whole thread though, magimedi88 wink

Tee2072 Mon 07-Jan-13 17:49:44

Has the bride gotten a new dog? Is she, perhaps, afraid the same will happen again?

::trying to find sympathy::

fuzzpig Mon 07-Jan-13 17:58:01

I would really like you to employ a fellow guests as an actor, and have them suddenly discover an allergy to the provided food, or feign a heart attack, or something. If you could video it, I might just believe you grin

fuzzpig Mon 07-Jan-13 17:58:37

(I mean a young guest)

middleagedspread Mon 07-Jan-13 18:01:22

This thread is making me snort.
I have visions of all these mature guests walking under the lychgate in their finery then suddenly being barred from the church to get on a bus to watch The Lion King.
Perhaps someone (obviously medically qualified) could invite the other guests to complete a medical questionnaire, have their blood pressure & temperature taken before sitting down. Perhaps it's a role the ushers could take on?

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Mon 07-Jan-13 18:03:31

Creosoted fuck is my new swear phrase.

Also am weeping at phobia of button mushrooms

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 18:04:17

it's very difficult. the tragedy at the altar with the doggie has made her utterly intransigent, she feels almost cursed by the elderly, I'm surprised shes even laying on a treat for them, normally she just ignores them

NippyDrips Mon 07-Jan-13 18:04:41

Waiting for the punchline....j

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Mon 07-Jan-13 18:05:43

Are you writing a sitcom?

Cos if you're not, you should grin

sameoldlovebunny Mon 07-Jan-13 18:05:53


MinnieBar Mon 07-Jan-13 18:09:46

&#11014;Hully are you Miranda Hart??

OscarPistoriusBitontheside Mon 07-Jan-13 18:09:55

If this is true I'll way my nannas hat. She's 90.

Brilliant Hully, is this a dream you had last night?

Hully, your pants are on fire grin

crashdoll Mon 07-Jan-13 18:32:47

The OAP part of the wedding sounds fabulous and if I get married, The Lion King and tea for everyone!

helpyourself Mon 07-Jan-13 18:35:31

I cannot beleeeeeeve I got deleted for suggesting this m

helpyourself Mon 07-Jan-13 18:35:54

Might not be strictly kosher.

JenaiMorris Mon 07-Jan-13 18:50:10

help you troll-hunting cah angry


Thank you hully that is beautiful and has made me very smiley
I would love a picture of the pink skirted poodle please and then I can die happy

(unlike poor pooch)

KenLeeeeeee Mon 07-Jan-13 19:14:47

I am crying with laughter here. DH thinks I'm deranged now because I could only manage to blurt out the words "Leslie" and "poodle" between guffaws!

pictish Mon 07-Jan-13 19:19:38

What is happening here?

Nanny0gg Mon 07-Jan-13 19:23:18

Is this a soap opera script?

montage Mon 07-Jan-13 19:27:14

I was looking forward to the thread where a busload of OAPs gate-crashed the wedding (singing "It's the Circle of LIIIIFE!") sad

SoldeInvierno Mon 07-Jan-13 19:31:17

how can she afford a defibrillator?

This must be a wind up.....seriously!

NewYearNewNN Mon 07-Jan-13 19:35:50

<checks date>

You practising for April 1st Hully?

Bubblegum78 Mon 07-Jan-13 19:38:17


That's all I'm saying.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Mon 07-Jan-13 19:42:56

am I the only person currently wanting to nominate Hully for Queen of MN Classics, this thread is inspired.

Am still dying laughing at the med student with the defibrillator.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Mon 07-Jan-13 19:43:52

I was looking forward to the thread where a busload of OAPs gate-crashed the wedding (singing "It's the Circle of LIIIIFE!")

pahahaaaa <mental images are running wild>

Foggles Mon 07-Jan-13 19:51:39

I believe every word.

A bride I knew made sure there was soft food on the menu for the old people with false teeth.

She made not only a "play list" for the DJ but also a "don't play list" of songs that would remind guests of ex's and dead people.

She also gave her prospective husband a timetable of when he could drink during the day.

If she is on MN, she will definitely recognise herself [waves] but I have no worries because I told her she was bonkers at the time grin

Hassled Mon 07-Jan-13 19:59:46

I reckon the non-wedding guests will force the coach to make a u-turn on the M25, storm up the aisle and perform Highway To Hell while roasting a poodle on a portable brazier. It's almost bound to happen.

WheresMrMonkey Mon 07-Jan-13 20:09:16

No way!! Must be a wind up

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Jan-13 20:15:04

What about elderly poodles? Will they be allowed to attend?

PixieHot Mon 07-Jan-13 20:24:02

Me: gringringrin
DH: gringringrin

PiccadillyCervix Mon 07-Jan-13 20:26:10

I know it isn't true. But I so want it to be sad

hermioneweasley Mon 07-Jan-13 20:28:16

Best wind up ever.

Hassled Mon 07-Jan-13 20:39:58

Knid - all the elderly poodles will be going to see Cats.

Alligatorpie Mon 07-Jan-13 21:01:00

Another vote for classics! I laughed so much, I woke the baby up :-)

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Mon 07-Jan-13 21:09:29

This thread kept me from having a meltdown in the loo earlier. However am sure the muffled snorts of laughter coming from the cubicle frightened a few folks...

I reckon it's partly a windup, and partly a reverse AIBU based on children at weddings but substituting OAP's.

However if its true, and any of the OAP's are like my relatives, Bridezilla will need the med student to surgically remove the defibrillator from her jacksie.

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Jan-13 21:10:58

I think they might prefer the Poodle King, Hassled.

MakeItALarge Mon 07-Jan-13 21:17:23

Why is she paying all that money on Lion King when she could just show them the step mothers wedding video?

Im dying to watch that now

Binky noooooo grin

apostropheuse Mon 07-Jan-13 21:23:19

grin grin grin

Hully you are a legend.

I really hope you're a writer!

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 21:29:43

I know it seems funny, I do, but trouble has broken out. I have just had my friend sobbing on the phone, she was a little incoherent (night nurse for her blocked nose, apparently), but from what I could make out, Great Uncle Bruce is threatening to raise a mutiny. He abhors musicals and wants them all to go to a Radio 3 concert at the Wigmore Hall. She'll never sell that to them.

Isabeller Mon 07-Jan-13 21:32:03

Bet your Mum could organise her a cracking Hen night with the other silver stunnas and lots of "special tea" wink

Hullygully Mon 07-Jan-13 21:33:45

Don't even mention the hen night. To give you an idea, she isn't calling it that, she is calling it The Feathered Flock WingDing.

NewYearNewNN Mon 07-Jan-13 21:35:02

<falls off chair laughing>

elizaregina Mon 07-Jan-13 21:39:47


If I was one of the OLDIES, about to be shipped off to the crappy Holiday Inn, I would be immedialty organising a rebellion of the said oldies to storm the wedding party itself....

Infact - I may even organise a coup to ship the bride off in the bus - then strap her to a chair and make her watch US partying and having a good time - with her watching via video link alone at holiday inn...

I also think we would take advantage of the doc on site - for some extra curricular activities - the meds that oldies carry on them - are fought over in young offenders insitutes.....grin

Hassled Mon 07-Jan-13 21:43:31

Slutty Chicken Outfits grin
What could possibly be better?

Please tell us the date and venue of the wedding.
I feel a grey-wigged-MN-flasmob might be fun smile

Oh yeah, Great Uncle Bruce will lead the rebellion, Walking sticks at the ready, everyone into the church. <<<Charge>>>

yaimee Tue 08-Jan-13 00:04:22

What an idiot. I genuinely hope no one turns up!

yaimee Tue 08-Jan-13 00:15:21

blush heeheehee

Avuncular Tue 08-Jan-13 00:46:09

Well we all know who is going to suddenly develop the medical emergency on the morning of the big day. A lady well under 70 in a white dress?

As the Mikado would say "the punishment fit the crime".

sad wine

BookieMonster Tue 08-Jan-13 01:09:53

Well, how about an "event crawl' whereby the bus can go past several different kinds of entertainment (Lion King, Radio 3 thingy, Soho sex shows) and the oldies can take their pick or have a kip on the bus. I think the defibrillator should stay with those leaving the bus at Soho.

MusicalEndorphins Tue 08-Jan-13 09:50:47

Omg, perfect, I needed a good laugh.

samandi Tue 08-Jan-13 10:04:22

If that's for real, the bride is mentally unhinged.

Jins Tue 08-Jan-13 10:07:52

I've got a Great Uncle Bruce

<eyes Hully suspiciously>

piprabbit Tue 08-Jan-13 10:13:46

A geriatric creche?

Oh, Hully. Thank you for cheering my morning.

This might be the funniest thing I've ever read.

The bride is bonkers btw

Pagwatch Tue 08-Jan-13 10:28:33

A geriatric crèche would work though wouldn't it? And it would save money. Just corall them all into an area with pilchard sandwiches, some battenberg and an episode of All Star Family Fortunes on a loop and they will be quite happy. Maybe someone could bring a cat?
All in all, kinder to everyone.

Jins Tue 08-Jan-13 10:29:32

I'd rather be in the geriatric creche than at the wedding as long as I could smuggle in a hip flask and I didn't have to watch the Lion King

CinnabarRed, did I used to work with you? I have a mushroom phobia! blush

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:00:33

To be fair, she is laying on a quite splendid fancy tea at the Holiday Inn, not palming them off with a few curled sandwiches and orange squash and they will all get a glass of Asti for the "I Do" part of the videoed ceremony.

I will personally pay for a video link from the West End to the reception if the old folks will agree to perform a rendition of 'Hakuna Matata' after the Best Man's speech and you upload it to YouTube Hully!

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:04:33

That sounds a bit foreign, they aren't really the sort of people to do foreign, what about something a bit more knees-uppy?

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:05:16

And at least her mind is at rest about Bruce's mutiny, he sadly yet conveniently passed in the night.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:05:57

Altho this has rather confirmed her prejudice about sudden onsets.

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding Tue 08-Jan-13 11:06:59

How bizzareshock

ginmakesitallok Tue 08-Jan-13 11:08:31


RIP Great Uncle Bruce.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:10:05

I don't think he'll get much peace, not if there are just desserts in the after life.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:10:21

Not to speak ill of the recently passed of course.

LotsaTuddles Tue 08-Jan-13 11:12:23

I too believed until the step mother fell on poodle.

This is amazing Hully, you should really write it into a script and make a film, you could make billions.

You could even have a sequel. "The over 70 gets married and won't let anyone under 50 attend because they might not have a medical emergency"

atthewelles Tue 08-Jan-13 11:14:03

I stated clearly on my wedding invitations that it was an 'old person free' occasion. You would not believe the number of people who just turned up with elderly mothers in tow who then proceeded to ruin my special day by getting drunk on 'small' sherries and singing Roll out the Barrell during the best man's speech.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 11:14:09

I don't understand the struggle with the stepmother and sweet poodle? It's hardly rare, tho less usual at the altar I admit.

BunFagFreddie Tue 08-Jan-13 11:20:10

It would make great reality TV!

Is there a dog playing a staring role in the upcoming nuptuals, Hully, or were the repercussions of The Incident too awful to bear repetition, even with the expulsion of the over 70s?

shotofexpresso Tue 08-Jan-13 11:38:59

does she have mental health problems? really?, she sounds like she has some issues.

I'm getting married and I have relatives as old as 86 coming from the north east to the depths of yorkshire!.

I think someone needs to have a chat with her.maybe her mum?

digerd Tue 08-Jan-13 11:48:47

When I sit for hours on end I get swollen ankles and feet, if it's warm. a pain in my backside, and when I eventually get up, I can hardly walk at first as stiffened up and have to get my balance back. I am younger than 70. < must now take a cushion with me for the drive in the car and the sitting around in house visiting as was in agony over Xmas. Or put on loads of weight on my bum! >
Not exactly a medical emergency, but I said I would not be doing that again and DD driving said bring a cushion, mum! Sitting on 2 special ones at lap top

greenfolder Tue 08-Jan-13 11:51:25

Hully- are you really Victoria Wood?

What sort of a dog does she have now Hully?

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 13:22:30

She could never have another dog, she has an Alpaca now, but it isn't coming to the ceremony, it goes funny at the smell of incense.

auntpetunia Tue 08-Jan-13 13:31:13

This is a joke surely, or it's a run through for a Miranda script!

SunflowersSmile Tue 08-Jan-13 13:35:02

I Will read whole thread later.. BUT.. how patronising.
My fit over 70 father would stick two fingers up at such offensive behaviour and he is a polite sort!

MakeItALarge Tue 08-Jan-13 13:35:36

Hmm, Great Uncle Bruce complains and then dies in the night

I suspect foul play!

bran Tue 08-Jan-13 13:36:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 13:47:04

Yes, it is quite charming, it's name is Copernicus. Her veil is woven from it's finest wool.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 13:47:29



inkyfingers Tue 08-Jan-13 13:57:42

Absolutely love it. Haven't laughed so much for ages!! Who cares if its true.


Well worth hoisting myself off FB for

Narked Tue 08-Jan-13 14:05:42

*'it goes funny at the smell of incense.'


Narked Tue 08-Jan-13 14:06:44

Maybe it could watch via video link with the oldies? Do you think it would enjoy The Lion King?

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Tue 08-Jan-13 14:12:43

I agree MakeItALarge , I think it was Bridezilla in the bedroom with a pillow...

BookieMonster Tue 08-Jan-13 14:24:45

I'm not sure that alpacas are fond of musical theatre.

AudrinaAdare Tue 08-Jan-13 14:37:09

It might like this one though.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Tue 08-Jan-13 14:44:41

Hully, I don't want to get deleted for troll hunting here like a PP, but something is confusing me. How would she know that the alpaca was sensitive to incense? And even the highest of vicars are prepared to ditch the thurible if asked nicely for legitimate medical reasons.

BTW was "Creosoted" an iPhone-ism, and if so, for what? Or was the poster just overly influenced by the spirit of the thread.

Alpacas can get a bit spitty can't they? I trust none of thas has got in to her veil. Could make it a bit claggy.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 08-Jan-13 15:35:44

grin arf

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 15:50:32

I quite understand Lady.

Some years ago Copernicus starred as one end of the PushMePullYou in a local production of Dr Doolittle. It took place in the parish hall next to the church where the vicar is very High Anglican. The waft of incense came through the wall and made Copernicus most agitated, he reared and shied and caused irreparable yet relatively painless damage to the PullYou half.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Tue 08-Jan-13 15:54:42

Oh that makes perfect sense Hully - I apologise for doubting you.

MakeItALarge Tue 08-Jan-13 15:58:50

Poor Great Uncle Bruce has been smothered in his sleep and youre all discussing alpacas angry

Will no one think of Great Uncle Bruce??

mamamibbo Tue 08-Jan-13 16:01:23

i managed to read the whole thread, smiling at the funniest bits but the explaination on how they know the alpaca is allergic to incense made me lol

nickelbabylyinginamanger Tue 08-Jan-13 16:01:57

Incense would make good smelling salts in case of an episode.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 08-Jan-13 16:04:55

MakeItALarge - not only was poor Great Uncle Bruce smothered in his sleep, he was smothered by the alpaca. sad

UC Tue 08-Jan-13 16:17:00

am PMSL at this one!!! Ep the "she's already seen the Lion King" bit. If she hadn't seen the show would it be ok?

Then I read the bit about the debrilator, and PMSL again!

Utterly bonkers!!! And if it wasn't funny, really very very rude and weird.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 16:49:55

GU Bruce was certainly not smothered by Copernicus. What a scurrilous rumour to start.

You should ask Deep Red Betty what really happened, she knows more than she's saying.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 08-Jan-13 17:30:04

Hully, Great Uncle Bruce was most definitely smothered by Copernicus. I should know, I was there. (Don't ask.)

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 18:05:18

BUt that's not true, is it, Missy Knid?

Do you remember what the nice Doctor said about the importance of differentiating between imagination and fantasy?

I know you like a nice murder, but you must try and stay within the boundaries of truth, a capricious mistress tho she may be.

bran Tue 08-Jan-13 18:16:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MakeItALarge Tue 08-Jan-13 18:21:30

Green tea? I think we need wine for the deep red betty story.

Still think Copernicus did it though {^folds arms and sulks^}

DeepRedBetty Tue 08-Jan-13 18:28:29

You'll need to give me more than a nice cup of green tea to get me to talk.

MakeItALarge Tue 08-Jan-13 18:32:57

wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine

So Betty how are you? Do anything intresting last night?

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 18:32:58

Deep Red Betty?

Who is typing for you, dear?

It was so sad, to lose one arm is bad enough, but two looks like carelessness, and should you be up and about after so many drugs?

TheLightPassenger Tue 08-Jan-13 18:34:43

I think it's a fab idea. Would much prefer to go to a west end show and hotel afternoon tea than a wedding. This could catch on, you know.

FellatioNels0n Tue 08-Jan-13 18:36:36

My sister's vows were interrupted by her DH's Grandfather having a bit of a turn in his pew and deciding to stand up, shout a bit, and then lay down in the aisle and to ramble loudly and incoherently, clutching his chest and hyperventilating. An ambulance was called. It was all very dramatic. They carted him off to A&E where he was right as rain after a cup of tea and a quick prod by the doctors. My sister's FIL missed half the wedding breakfast picking him up from A&E, and he rejoined the party like nothing ever happened.

FellatioNels0n Tue 08-Jan-13 18:38:08

Arf at 'my mother really wants to go and she has seen the Lion King already.' grin

DeepRedBetty Tue 08-Jan-13 18:39:06

Might do it for wine.

FellatioNels0n Tue 08-Jan-13 18:39:36

You know how people have children's entertainers in a separate ante-room at weddings? Perhaps there should be OAP entertainers. Someone with a ukelele and a packet of humbugs should do the trick.

thegreylady Tue 08-Jan-13 18:40:30

Hully there is no end to your talents-expand,publish and 50 shades will be eclipsed.

DeepRedBetty Tue 08-Jan-13 18:40:44

Ooo xposted. Who says I'm typing with my own fingers?

bran Tue 08-Jan-13 18:42:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeepRedBetty Tue 08-Jan-13 18:43:27

You need to be thinking about who was at the other end of Copernicus's PushMe PullYou, that's all I'm going to tell you.

<eyes MakeItALarge's wine bottle>

greenplastictrees Tue 08-Jan-13 18:48:19

Two elderly people have died in the last 10-15 years at weddings of extended family of mine! shock I'm getting married next year.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 08-Jan-13 19:29:47

Hully! shock I know very well how to distinguish between imagination and fantasy. [sulks] It's reality I'm having some problems with.

Anyway, how long until Copernicus posts?

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 19:44:33

you know Deep, we go back a long way, yet that night you went too far, you knew about Bruce's prostrate

bran Tue 08-Jan-13 19:46:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MakeItALarge Tue 08-Jan-13 19:49:24

passes Betty the wine bottle (with a straw as she has no arms)

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 19:51:44

so sorry, I was abruptly halted by an exploding boiled egg.

his prostrate form under the onslaught of that resurgence of parasitic worm

The alpaca and the incense has just finished me. I'm laughing so hard I have a stitch.

DoodlesNoodles Tue 08-Jan-13 22:06:19
DoodlesNoodles Tue 08-Jan-13 22:10:06

.....and hully I think I know why you started this thread.
Popularity and fame will surely follow. smile

amothersplaceisinthewrong Tue 08-Jan-13 22:13:01


I think your Mother should just show up at the church.... and behave disgracefully like any upstanding septugenarian should!

So, the alapaca is not being regularly wormed.

<phones the RSPCA>

I think we need more info, Betty needs more than wine, who was it had a hip flask to smuggle in with the olds.
Poor GU Bruce, I think his death is suspicious, was it the year three doctor who diagnosed his death? I think he may be our assassin.

whattodoo Tue 08-Jan-13 22:28:47

Funny you should mention Leslie Phillips.

Some years ago I went to an 'at home' party at a neighbours who happened to be an actor. Got all excited about what famous telly people might be there.

It was a let-down. No atmosphere, poor nibbles, babycham.

Afterwards, to save face, I told my sis that Leslie Phillips had been there. She believed me.

Trouble is, I was so convincing that i'm not 100% sure that he wasn't there.

I'll never know if I've shared a breadstick with Leslie Philips or not. sad

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 22:37:08

It may well have been the Stepmother, she liked to dress as him and frankly was so good she may as well have been him. Does it really matter? To all intents and purposes you have indeed shared a cheese straw with dear Leslie.

Poor Betty has succumbed to her unfortunate condition, it's unlikely we'll hear from her again.

She's armless though.

Hullygully Tue 08-Jan-13 22:42:42

You are confusing her with Deep Red Betty

Do keep up

There are two Bettys?

Or should that be Betties?

jammybean Tue 08-Jan-13 23:18:42

Snort grin

This is insane!

MakeItALarge Tue 08-Jan-13 23:45:47

Just so Im clear -

GU Bruce, the unfortunate poodle and Betty are no longer with us.

Deep Red Betty knows but she isnt talking.

The bridezilla ia wearing a veil made of alpaca hair.

Poor Copernicus isnt allowed at the wedding (but at least he wont be spreading worms there).

What about Sharon? Does she get an invite?

GreatUncleBruce Tue 08-Jan-13 23:56:46

Ahem. Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated.


Copernicus Wed 09-Jan-13 00:12:02

Bruce shock

I didnt expect to see you here. Sorry again about the worm thing blush it were a misunderstanding

GreatUncleBruce Wed 09-Jan-13 00:16:45

Don't worry about it, Coppy. It was an easy mistake to make, they look just like spaghetti.

GreatUncleBruce Wed 09-Jan-13 00:20:35

I don't think Hully noticed. Just don't tell her.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 09-Jan-13 02:13:58

Hully, are you on drugs? confused

MrsWembley Wed 09-Jan-13 03:29:00

Pmsl at this but my ap keeps crashing half-way throughsad, so marking place to read later on my laptop...

Pmsl @ "rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated"

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 10:17:42

Ouija boards always end in tears.

Head to the light, GU Bruce.

Copernicus, snorty snorty sniff spit spit snort <Alpaca-ese>

RuleBritannia Wed 09-Jan-13 10:26:36

Back to the topic of the thread ......

I would be insulted if I knew someone very well who did not invite me to her wedding just because I was older than 70. As for organising a coach trip for us ..... Well!!! She would no longer be a friend worth having. My friends and I still jive (youngsters can't do it), trek travel to remote places and take part in extreme sports.

When I married 20 years ago we invited moire than 100 people ranging from a woman pregnant with twins, a 6 month old baby to a 95 year old great uncle. We wanted those we cared about to be there and they were. If there had been an 'emergency' it would have been dealt with.

God! I'm glad I don't know the woman. Or do I?

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 10:32:14

Well quite, Rule, this is what I keep telling her!

Look at Richard Attenborough and the Queen, old but chugging on. Simply marvellous.

JazzyTheSnowman Wed 09-Jan-13 11:58:14

I am DYING!! <3

Funniest thing I've read in years!!

Some people lead very sheltered lives.....


TheVermiciousKnid Wed 09-Jan-13 14:13:13

Look at Richard Attenborough and the Queen, old but chugging on.

Are you suggesting that there is 'something going on' between Richard Attenborough and the Queen!? shock

WandaDoff Wed 09-Jan-13 14:32:54

Don't ever change Hully

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 15:05:55

I tried to change hully, but no one would swap

acceptableinthe80s Wed 09-Jan-13 15:20:31

Haven't been on here long but this thread deserves to go into classics, surely?
Personally i think all the uninvited oap's should just gatecrash the wedding, i mean what's the bride going to do about it? have them thrown out by security?
Anyway oldies are great fun at weddings, the last wedding in my family about 7 years ago ended up with my great aunt, who was around 88yrs at the time (RIP Peggy) being busted by the police for smoking a spliff in the back of my dad's car on the way home. My cousin (who's wedding it was) had given her it to ahem 'help with her appetite'.
Obviously she got off with a caution being a first time offender grin

I shouldn't be laughing should I?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Wed 09-Jan-13 15:44:38

loving great aunt with a spliff grin

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 15:45:03


I know people are finding it quite amusing, but these are real people with real feelings. I have had Gertrude on the phone in tears, she hasn't felt so rejected since 1942.

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 15:46:01

I'm also wondering about the Lion King's target audience, none of them are keen. Is it for the young?

What happened to Gerty in 1942. Was it a war romance that went wrong?

Or were animals involved?

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 16:31:06

She backed the wrong horse, not in an animal sense. It was very messy.

FellatioNels0n Wed 09-Jan-13 16:54:04

Yes. Gatecrash. And do a flashmob. How cool would that be?

Absy Wed 09-Jan-13 16:55:37

I'll take Gertrude's place in the coach.

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 17:01:39

You are being silly.

Poor Gertrude. There is a picture of her in the Imperial War Museum, she is standing just behind Goering looking up at something in the sky. She will never say what, but shortly after that she was packed off back to Blighty with her tail between her legs and a swastika shaped stain upon her character.

FellatioNels0n Wed 09-Jan-13 17:07:49

God, I wish I knew how much of this is true.

FellatioNels0n Wed 09-Jan-13 17:08:10

I'm assuming the bit about Goering is, obviously.

FellatioNels0n Wed 09-Jan-13 17:09:03

Gertrude and Goering sitting in a tree

K. I. S. S. I. N. G.

Absy Wed 09-Jan-13 17:27:20

Well, then I am perfectly entitled to take her place

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 17:27:47

Goering wasn't much of a one for that, he had very different, shall we say, novel, ideas.

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 17:28:13

Are you 70, Absy dear?

BellaVita Wed 09-Jan-13 17:28:49

Hulu, I love you! grin

BellaVita Wed 09-Jan-13 17:29:31

Oh fucking hell hully damned auto correct. I still love you!

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 09-Jan-13 17:37:42

My phone autocorrects 'Hully' to 'Bully'. grin Not that I believe those rumours about her and poor Gertrude.

BellaVita Wed 09-Jan-13 17:41:13


TalkativeJim Wed 09-Jan-13 17:47:16

Sorry but I think your friend the bride has a point OP.

I was at a wedding where OAPs had free access, at least 5 of them were well over 70. Not surprisingly there was a serious medical emergency and most of the wedding guests sadly did not survive; the venue also exploded leaving the couple with an enormous bill and life-threatening infections.

So while it's a very difficult situation she is probably being prudent.

Absy Wed 09-Jan-13 17:59:19

Physically, 31, Mentally, 93 and retired to Boca Raton

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 18:12:08

You'll have to sit next to Mr Wildebream and ignore his trembling and wandering hands. You might want to take an apron too, for the dribble.

Absy Wed 09-Jan-13 18:16:03


Mr Wildebream's dribble or Absy's? (I've heard shocking rumours about an untreated salivary gland condition she has...)

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 18:51:49

His. I am afraid he dribbles uncontrollably and also his palsy makes it fly about.

DeepRedBetty Wed 09-Jan-13 21:16:27

Hello HQ I've nobly given up both my arms in Hully's quest for advice about geriatric guests. The least I deserve is for this whole thread to move to Classics.

How is your thigh injury Hully?

Have the meds kicked in yet?

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 22:32:55

How kind of you to remember my thigh! It is quite better thank you, someone somewhere must have taken the pin out.

I think of your thighs often


Where did that come from?

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 22:37:29

<looks at thighs in alarm>

TheVermiciousKnid Fri 11-Jan-13 00:31:58

I'm sorry, Hully, but nobody is posting on this thread anymore because we have all been staring in alarm at your thighs since your last post.

Hullygully Fri 11-Jan-13 09:50:38


I meant the pin from the wax dolly

impecuniousmarmoset Thu 07-Mar-13 10:24:31

I'm bumping this because I haven't laughed so much in ages and there must be lots of others who missed this.

And by the by, I can't believe that the two funniest threads I've read on MN this year (this and the funny things kids say when they're pissed off) are not in classics. MNHQ?!?!

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 07-Mar-13 10:28:42

Bloody hell, I've been staring at Hully's thighs for almost two months now! Time to stop and get on with some work.

mistlethrush Thu 07-Mar-13 10:45:53

Thank you for bringing it up into Active again - surely a classic?

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