to still be devasted that my dog is gone?

(79 Posts)
smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 01:26:24

On the 23rd of Dec my dog was killed in a horrible accident. I was devastated and spent most of christmas eve barely holding it together. However, I have young kids and I had a houseful of guests so I manned up, put a face on and got on with it. I hope that my kids still had a happy Christmas even though I was in bits. Nearly two weeks later I am still broken hearted, but because he was "just a dog" I don't know where to go with this. I miss my boy so much but no one else even mentions it any more, like it was just an blip in the holiday celebrations. AIBU to still be gutted? AIBU to expect people to still care that I am so sad?

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 01:27:44

sorry for spelling mistake in the title sad

happynewmind Sat 05-Jan-13 01:28:29

Yanbu, he wasn't just a dog he was part of your family.

Acky123 Sat 05-Jan-13 01:30:09

I'm so sorry. If anything ever happened to my dog I don't think I'd ever get over it sad

He was a much loved family member and I completely understand. I am so sorry, you must have had the most awful Christmas.

Sunnywithshowers Sat 05-Jan-13 01:31:27

YANBU. Your poor doggy. sad

Big hugs OP xxx

YANBU

There is no 'time limit' on grief.

Do you have a DH/DP that you could talk to?

Also, there's no such thing as just a dog' IME (though I know others may disagree).

Sorry for your loss sad

Booyhoo Sat 05-Jan-13 01:36:49

they are never 'just a dog' to at least 1 person they are alot more.

i feel your pain. my eldest cat was beaten up and died in june. i miss him so much, just silly little things like how he used to cuddle up on my bed and how affectionate he was, the other two cats are lovely but just aren't him. i cried for alot longer than 2 weeks but i was lucky to have a few very understanding friends who listened when i called them in tears because i had just remembered he was gone.

your pain will ease and when the shock goes you will be able to accept his death. until then just try and be around supportive people. i found my dcs are a great source of comfort as they still talk about him like he's here.

so sorry for your loss

(((hugs)))

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 01:37:33

I am so, so sad sad Been keeping it all bottled up because we had guests and because he was my boy and so no one else will have felt it as bad as me. I just don't think anyon realises how awful I feel. It was a nasty accident and no ones fault. A visitor left our door open and he was killed by a car. After the second day no one has said a word to me about him :-( Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Arseface Sat 05-Jan-13 01:38:30

That's awful Smiling I'd be devastated. With an accident you have no chance to prepare yourself, unlike when a dog starts going downhill, and you can brace yourself for what's coming.
Did you have your dog for a long time? How old was he?
As you had to delay your grief for xmas it's probably going to hit you a bit harder and feel a bit weirder too. Give yourself some time. Two weeks is early days and it's probably just sinking in. Do you have any dog-owning friends who might understand better?

recall Sat 05-Jan-13 01:39:53

I had a one year old dog who died on Christmas Eve ( she stole and ate 1kg of sultanas - toxic to dogs )

It was dreadful, my parents arrived for Christmas and I ran out to greet them sobbing. My husband and I spent Christmas day crying.

You are so brave getting through it for your family

You are shocked and grieving, i agree with hapynewmind he was part of your family. sad

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 01:42:45

My dcs miss him too, but they said my new years resolution should be to not cry about him anymore... They are only little, they don't really understand and don't like to see me upset so I have been really trying to keep it under control. The minute I told them he had died they were exceptionally upset, but just wanted another dog :-( DH is very supportive and is concerned that I am upset but he was "my dog" if you know what I mean. Dreading going back to work and everyone asking me how Christmas was. It was crap...

Oh, I'm so sorry about your boy.

FreudiansSlipper Sat 05-Jan-13 01:49:44

you are being hard on yourself and still probably in shock over the awful accident

if you want to cry just hid yourself away for a little when you can. It will ease in time but I still cry about my cat who I had to have put to sleep nearly 10 years ago I still miss her but it stopped hurting as much a long time ago

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 01:51:09

recall :-( that is just dreadful. So sorry for your loss. He was also just a young dog and I think it is hard knowing he would have had so much life and love ahead of him.

Arse, I do have dog owning friends, some of whom we hosted at Christmas, they didn't mention him at all and have posted lots of pics of their adorable doggie and kids on FB ever since :-(

Think it is a bit like when you are ttc you see pg women everywhere. I am seeing happy dogs and happy owners everywhere. None of them are my boy though. Thank you for not thinking I am nuts xxx

Damash12 Sat 05-Jan-13 01:53:02

Aaahhh op I'm sending you hugs. I list my dog over a year ago and for many weeks after I felt distraught so don't think you should be over it because "it's just a dog" they can be our best friends and more loyal than some family members ime! Sorry for you loss hun xx

YANBU. I'm so sorry, how awful for you. I completely understand - you take as long as you need to deal with it. So sad for you OP. sad

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 02:00:32

Am sitting with tears rolling down my face from all your lovely comments. It's such a hard time to lose someone so dear to you. You have reasurred me I am not mad (yet) and it is okay to still be sad. He was such a good and gorgeous boy sad So sorry for all the other posters who have had to go through similar things. Sending you big unMNty hugs too xx

stuffitunderthebed Sat 05-Jan-13 02:04:52

I feel so so sorry for you. I lost my little girl in April 2010 and I still dream about her. Miss her so much. She was very much 'my' dog and I understand how you feel. Take your time to grieve. Never mind its 'just a dog'. They are a part of the family with their own quirks, intelligence and warmth. I hope you feel better soon x

rosehill Sat 05-Jan-13 02:05:37

Oh I'm so sorry :-( I lost my boy over two years ago and I still miss him dreadfully! I have cried so many tears over that big beast. I never really understood the sentiment of missing a pet so badly until it happened to me.

I have two dogs now (one of the same breed) but they will never be a patch on him. I don't regret having them for a second and they are both adorable but I know for sure that I don't have the same bond with them as I did with him.

Lots of love to you. Cherish your memories x

soontobeburns Sat 05-Jan-13 02:05:44

Oh OP sad I will be frank one of the many deciding factors in dumping my X was when I said my BF was devestated to of lost her dog and he said "wise up its only a dog ffs" He had one too angry

Some people just dont realise how hard it is, but dont worry about grieving it is notmal and you need to allow yourself to do so.

Sending you lots of unMn hugs.

soontobeburns Sat 05-Jan-13 02:06:44

Is normal doh my phone is awful for spelling mistakes.

Arseface Sat 05-Jan-13 02:07:06

Have you spoken to any of your RL friends about how you're feeling? They may not have brought it up as you were so brave over Xmas.

Definitely find someone who understands to talk to. It really helps and bottling everything up will make the sharp pangs of grief last longer.
Don't worry about telling people at work either. You might be surprised how many of them understand and are more sympathetic than family or close friends who assume you're fine. Telling people is hard but is a really good way of letting out some of the grief.

Such a dreadful thing to have happened. I'm so sorry, I'd be in pieces - you're definitely not nuts.

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 02:07:43

Crying lots and lots now. Thank you for saying it's okay xxxxx

Kleptronic Sat 05-Jan-13 02:10:00

YANBU. Two weeks is nothing! It's absolutely rubbish that no-one's talking about him too. You're grieving and no-one's acknowledging it. No wonder you're gutted.

auburntrees Sat 05-Jan-13 02:12:35

I have always had dogs and grieved for every one of them, so much so I am wary of having another as it breaks your heart so when they go. Grieve as much as it takes, as long as it takes and however you choose to do so.

andrea315 Sat 05-Jan-13 02:15:42

So sorry my dog is my best friend and I can totally understand how you must feel they are not just a dog we have pets in our house and we have Ben, Ben is not a pet he is part of our family they are so special and I am sure your doggy is looking after his mummy from above and waiting for you to meet again at rainbow bridge one day x x

stuffitunderthebed Sat 05-Jan-13 02:22:16

Stick pictures of him up on facebook and songs that remind you of him whenever you're pissed (my personal favourite for grieving! Lol). Seriously, nearly two years on I still do this and my screensaver on my phone is my babygirl. She was my best friend for 13 and a half years through thick and thin. She is buried in my parents' garden. I have a photo of her in our back bedroom. She was my furry friend. So funny, so clever and we loved each other so very much. Don't be ashamed to grieve the passing of a good friend. (Ps, do I sound mental? I hope not, I just miss my wee dog)

Signet2012 Sat 05-Jan-13 02:34:14

I had to get my 8 year old dog pts on the tenth December.

He hasn't been well since I had dd 3 months ago we put his behaviour down to sulking. A fortnight before he died he suddenly seemed much worse.

Dp and I took him and stayed until the end. Neither of us are emotional people infact in 7 years neither of us have seen the other cry until that night.

I have lost actual people close to me but it doesn't compare.

He was my best friend ( stupid I know!). I fought to hell and back to keep him when I seperated from exp. That bloody dog caused me no end of problems!!! I never had a holiday because I didn't like to leave him, he pushed dp patience to the limit when we first moved in together. He could be aggressive when he wanted which caused a few issues.

He was also the softest, daftest, fattest, hilarious dog in the world.

My house is too empty, too clean, too quiet I don't find half eaten bones buried under my pillows. I don't get pushed out the bed by him spread eagled.

It's a different life.

He wasn't just a dog to me he was my dog.

ladyWordy Sat 05-Jan-13 02:38:20

I'm so sorry smiling. Two weeks is no time at all. There is no 'ought' about feelings - you feel how you feel - you're devastated, and so would I be.

I lost my little cat suddenly and it took me a long time to be able to function again. I still miss her, though I love my new cat too.

Posting this link in case it helps
www.bluecross.org.uk/2083/pet-bereavement-support-service.html

Take care and cry all you need to, ok? If anyone suggests you shouldn't, ignore them; they just aren't equipped to understand. ((Hug))

WhoPutTheDickOnTheSnowman Sat 05-Jan-13 03:02:39

I'm so sorry sad I would and have felt the same. It is normal and horrible and can be agonising. I'm glad Ladywordy posted the link I was going to.

We're the friends the same people who opened the door? Do you think it is intentional ignoring of the fact you are still very hurt or do you think they just have no idea what to say, or feel guilty or awkward? People can be very, very rubbish at dealing with grief they don't understand.

It was the same when we lost our son and when we miscarried - you get the initial 'I'm sorry' then nothing, as if that fixes things and they've done their job. People are also caught up in their own lives (obviously) and don't think, they don't place the same significance on things that aren't happening to them and their lives have moved on a lot in 2,4,6 weeks to the point they don't really think about you or your upset and forget that it's as if all that time has stood still for you because you think about it everyday. Someone asked me about our old dog who had died a year before, they had been told but forgotten, and I burst into tears!

You've got plenty of time before you're mad, honest!

lotsofdogshere Sat 05-Jan-13 08:30:38

so sorry to read what happened to your much loved dog. I empathise particularly as we lost our lovely old dog just before Christmas. He came to us from a local rescue shelter 13 years ago, and was at least 15 when he died. He had been suffering from various ailments for several months, and had been seen at our vets frequently over that period. In early December, he developed significant health problems, and lay, suffering for several days, with frequent medication and support from our vet. We struggled but finally, and with support from the lovely, caring vet, made the decision to help him leave peacefully. I am filling up now, just thinking of it, such a tough decision to make, yet we didn't want him to go on suffering. We loved him so, and I really empathise with how you feel. To lose your dog in such a sudden, dreadful way must have been such a shock to you and it isn't surprising you still feel tearful. Be tender with yourself, and accept you are grieving. Hugs to you

Megatron Sat 05-Jan-13 08:34:31

Oh you poor thing. I totally sympathise, I cried for weeks when my beloved boy died and I don't care what people think about that. He was part of my family, loved me unconditionally and was my friend. God, I'm blubbing just thinking about him now. People who have never had pets don't get it I'm afraid.

coffeeinbed Sat 05-Jan-13 08:37:15

Anyone who says "It was just a dog" has no idea.
Of course YANBU, I know I will be devastated when my boy goes.
Sorry to hear about this, it ok to grieve for a pet.

I'm so sorry. That is an awful and shocking thing to happen and it's still very recent. You have every right to be upset. I still cry over my old dog who died of old age over a year ago. A dog is a companion, a friend, and a member of the family - there is no right or wrong way to grieve for him and what happened.

Doesn't sound as if you've had an opportunity to grieve for your dog yet, if guests were staying over Christmas and nobody mentioned him after the second (!) day. The manner of his death was shocking and unexpected too, so you've every right to feel devastated - it's perfectly natural.

Are you married? How are your children bearing up? Maybe you could all do something nice as a family to commemorate your dog now the guests are gone.

Badgersnatch Sat 05-Jan-13 09:11:42

Oh smilng and signet, I'm so sorry. Just before Christmas I had a drunken snotty, heaving, shuddering, wailng bawl-fest over my favourite ever dog who died almost six years ago blush. I wanted to send her ashes to America to be made into a gemstone but DH gave me his "frightened of the crazy pregnant" lady look so I've just kept them in a pot.

Boggler Sat 05-Jan-13 09:13:29

YANBU my dog died 8 years ago and I still miss her at times.

Dorris83 Sat 05-Jan-13 09:32:19

OP condolences to you on the loss of your boy. I totally understand, I'm crying reading all of these posts.

My life changed when DH and I got DDog. I've always grown up with dogs but DDog is my husband and my first dog that is ours, and b

WelshMaenad Sat 05-Jan-13 09:39:07

Yanbu, you poor thing, I'm so sorry to hear about your dog.

We lost one of our cats, my gorgeous ginger ninja, to a road accident back in July and I still miss him horribly. He was only four, it was such a shock, and I think that made it harder. My poor lad.

Dorris83 Sat 05-Jan-13 09:40:51

Posted too soon- ddog is the first time we have a dog who is totally our responsibility, and we love him so much, we literally can't remember life before him.

I am crying just thinking about losing him, I will be devastated , and I worry even more about my DH. DH works from home and DDog is his constant companion, DH probably talks to DDog more than he talks to me!

Your dog was part of your family who's just disappeared and you haven't had a proper farewell. Could you do a memorial for him? The kids could write cards about your boy and you could say a few words about him. My parents planted a rose bush for their old girl when she went and it reminds them of her.

Just a suggestion, but I think you should try to so something special for your boy. I also like the poster above who wants to have a gem made of the ashes, ( you should definitely do that, regardless of strange looks from husbands)

I'm so sorry op, and to all the posters who are sharing their stories. Do speak to people at work ( who have pets). They will understand.

Cherriesarelovely Sat 05-Jan-13 10:30:38

I am so sorry x I would also be devastated. Our dogs give us so much love and give our lives such a jolly, lively momentum. You have absolutely every right to cry and spend time mourning him. I send you huge hugs xxxxxx

saintmerryweather Sat 05-Jan-13 10:42:03

im so sorry op xxx cry as much as you need to even if nobody else understands. we had our dog put down in january 2011, he was such a beautiful dog, inside and out. we had planned his pts day so we all got up early and spoilt him absolutely rotten, cuddled him, gave him whatever he wanted to eat. he went off with my mum.n dad atvabout 10.30 and i just broke down.y boyfriend didnt even bother to text me to see how i was till i texted him first. that was one of the factors in me dumping him, that he didnt even care enough to say 'im here if you need me'. you react however ypu need to, youve had a massive shock (our dog was pts and i still struggled, am dreading my other lovely dog going and shes only 9ish)

LizzieVereker Sat 05-Jan-13 10:44:18

I'm so sorry, OP, it's horrible. I miss my boy, aged 13, who died 18 months ago so much. I miss his company, his little sounds, just his personality. I'm sorry, I didn't mean this to be about me, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss and that I understand. Sending you a hug.

Mutt Sat 05-Jan-13 10:49:13

I'm so sorry sad

You feel how you feel and losing a beloved dog, expecially in such sudden and shocking circumstances, will affect you deeply for a long time yet.

Just take time to grieve and eventually, in time, memories of the happy times you shared with your boy will overtake your sadness.

It's perfectly normal and ok, i'm glad this thread is allowing you some space to grieve and cry. The house just feels so empty when theyre gone.

Never had a dog in adulthood but we are the same about our dear cat (pics on profile) who has been gone 3 years now. I still miss him and it still makes my heart ache when i think of him.

thebody Sat 05-Jan-13 10:53:52

Just sending hugs xxxxx

BestIsWest Sat 05-Jan-13 10:57:10

Yanbu at all, a dog is so much part of the family. I still miss and cry over my beloved dog who died a few days before DD was born. DD is 20 this month.

She was there for me all through my teenage years and through university. She would snuggle up to me while I sobbed over boyfriends. She was at our wedding, in all the photos. Bloody hell, I'm in tears now myself.

They do become part of your life and it is devastating when they go. I'm really sorry for your loss OP. What a rubbish time of year for it to happen.

dollywashers Sat 05-Jan-13 10:57:33

You poor thing. I would be devastated too. It's a big loss. Please don't try to hide your grief. Let it out. Have you got a good friend to talk to who will just let you cry and listen x

Squeegle Sat 05-Jan-13 11:00:55

I am sitting here crying too! Of course you are bereft. I remember how upset I was when my dog was put to sleep.
This must be so much harder. So sorry x

diddl Sat 05-Jan-13 11:05:23

Oh that´s terrible.

We have a 7yr old rescue dog & I sometimes already have a little weep when I think about how awful it´ll be when he goes.

And the bloody thing doesn´t even like me!!!

CabbageLeaves Sat 05-Jan-13 11:07:04

I would be devastated. I lost a dog in similar circumstances.

I don't really get the 'its only a dog' stance. My boy is a friend, loyal, funny, affectionate, company and so much more

QOD Sat 05-Jan-13 11:12:20

Aww it's awful, I miss my old cats sometimes, and my wee boy we have now, well, I'd be beside myself, and he's "just a cat"

hoodoo12345 Sat 05-Jan-13 11:16:02

My first two dogs died 2 and 4 years ago and i still feel very sad about their loss sometimes, they are a big part of your life for a very long time.
I have two more dogs now but when i take them on a favourite walk of my other dogs the memories come flooding backsad

SpicyPear Sat 05-Jan-13 11:16:05

So so sorry for your loss and that no one is supporting you. Often people don't know what to say so ignore it instead. Definitely ring the Blue Cross freephone number posted below if you need to speak to someone in real life.

He was part of your family and you are perfectly normal to grieve for him. I'd be more worried about the "just a dog" crowd! My two are young and after anything happening to my human family, this would be my second worst nightmare so all my heart goes out to you. Cry for as long as you need to. A therapist I knos at an expensive London clinic said she sees a lot of people with problems stemming from not feeling they should grieve for a pet. It can really eat you up so please don't squash it down.

thegreylady Sat 05-Jan-13 11:23:31

I share your pain. My dog had to be pts 12 years ago. He was 17 blind and incontinent,he couldn't eat properly. I have never forgiven myself and still cry when l think of him. He was with me through so many huge events. I will never have another dog.

Babymamaroon Sat 05-Jan-13 11:27:04

Oh poor you that's just awful. I know how hard it is to deal with the loss of a cherished pet, they are a member of your family. It definitely takes time, you need to grieve and you never forget. Much love and I hope things get easier with time.

COCKadoodledooo Sat 05-Jan-13 11:57:29

Oh bless you smiling, sorry to hear of your loss. sad

I still miss my beloved Bella and it's now longer since I took her to be PTS than I actually had her for. I still find it hard to deal with the fact I did that even though I knew/know it was the best thing for her. And stupidly I still expect to hear her excited yap and scrabbling claws as soon as I put the key in the lock at my folks' house.

Two weeks is nothing when you're grieving a family member. Be kind to yourself x

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Jan-13 12:04:09

Of course you aren't being unreasonable or silly to feel so sad!

Dogs are just pets to good owners. They are a member of the family. I would feel exactly the same as you in your shoes. Hope you are ok OP thanks

SamuelWestsMistress Sat 05-Jan-13 12:04:39

How horrible for you to have to worry that you shouldn't be feeling so sad! Of course you will feel broken hearted and its fine to. You lost him at the most hectic time of year whilst trying to sort Christmas Day for kids and guests and its not really given you a chance to let it all out and you've put your grief "on hold".

So very sorry for your loss. I can completely sympathise having lost my most wonderful and favourite cat ever on the road over two years ago. I still miss him terribly.

Be kind to yourself now, and realise that he was a lucky chap having such a caring owner. So many animals don't get that chance.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Jan-13 12:04:49

aren't

Aren't just pets!

higgle Sat 05-Jan-13 12:13:01

Of course it is OK, a dog is never "just a dog". not sure if theis is a helpful thing to say but my mother gets quite teary about Sam, a lab cross, they owned who was run over 30+ years ago. We are still very sad about our previous elderly dog who died in June this year, even though we have taken in another rescue dog since. I'm not religious and certainly don't believe in "Rainbow Bridge" but it would mean more to me than anything if I thought I could see them all again one day...now I'm having a little weep too!

Gawd, I'm tearing up just reading this! Of course YANBU. It is never 'just a dog'. He was your mate, your companion, your funny dude. He had a personality and you had a relationship with him. My dog is a PITA for loads of reasons, but I adore the little shit. Be kind to yourself x

pjmama Sat 05-Jan-13 13:08:39

My lovely girl died over 6 years ago. She was only 5 and was accidentally poisoned by a pest controller. It was pre-children so she was my baby, I'd spend hours and hours training her and we had a really strong bond. I still cry when I think of her, she was "the one" for me and was supposed to be my children's best friend while they grew up (I was pregnant when we lost her).

It's never "just a dog". The bond we have with animals is a very simple one, just made of love and loyalty - none of the complications we get with human relationships. So when we lose them, it just hurts and leaves a gaping hole. Give yourself time to grieve. X

chocolatelime Sat 05-Jan-13 13:57:49

YADNBU, cry as much as you need to. It's bad enough losing a beloved dog at any time, but this accident must have been such a horrible shock. I still miss my first labrador who was PTS nearly 10 years ago. Any true dog lover will understand exactly how you are feeling right now.

bluebiscuit Sat 05-Jan-13 14:07:51

Yanbu to be devastated. Our family (from when i was a child) dog made a good age and died in her sleep peacefully of natural causes 2 yrs ago, but it still hurts so in your case, I am not surprised you are devastated and I imagine you will be for a while yet. Your kids are dealing with it how kids do - they will not understand how you feel but their reaction is perfectly normal for DC so don't worry about them. Still have a good cry away from the DC though because your reaction is perfectly normal for an adult. I want a dog now but I am afraid to get one because it is so awful when they go because you love them so much.

stickyg Sat 05-Jan-13 14:17:45

Long time lurker here but wanted to post for the first time.

I am so sorry to hear about your boy sad A dog is never " just a dog " and yours sounds like an amazing dog.

I think its perfectly normal to still be grieving, its only been a few weeks. I had to get my oldest dog put to sleep almost 2 years ago and i still miss her like mad.

Big hugs to you xx

BigGums Sat 05-Jan-13 15:46:17

I'm near tears just reading this, so no, of course you're not being U.

Just remember he was a lucky boy to be so loved and to have had such a lovely caring person such as you in his life.

unobtanium Sat 05-Jan-13 15:54:27

I am so, so sorry. That would have killed me. Your reaction is totally normal. Could you build a little shrine to him, light candles, post pictures and let everyone say a little goodbye? Hugsxxx

shebird Sat 05-Jan-13 16:00:50

So sorry for your loss it is really hard. We also just lost my parents dog and are heartbroken. He has helped all of us through some tough times and we will miss him lots. Have yet to break the news to my DCs I just can't break their heartssad

amillionyears Sat 05-Jan-13 16:06:17

The thing is op, you didnt just "lose a dog".
You lost him over Christmas, which makes it worse,
you didnt have time to properly grieve,
and also, you lost him in shocking circumstances.
I have noticed, that when humans die in shocking circumstances, such as unexpectedly and sudden, that the spouse and relatives that are left, take a lot longer to get over it, on the whole, than a "normal" death, or where the person who died, was ill for a while beforehand.
I cannot see why it should be any different in pets, where the death of a pet was unexpected and sudden and horrid. The grieving is going to take longer than with the "normal" death of a pet.

spudmurphy Sat 05-Jan-13 16:26:09

5 years on we ( family ) can just about talk about our beloved dog without crying. It will get easier

sad sending a hug.

legoballoon Sat 05-Jan-13 16:30:28

I'm not a 'dog person' - really 'lergic to fur - but even I can understand why you might be grieving for your pet. A pet lives in the family and you care for it daily, so of course you are going to become attached to him/her. Have a good cry if you feel like it, be kind to yourself, and give yourself some time to adjust.

flowerytaleofNewYork Sat 05-Jan-13 16:33:22

So sorry. Two weeks is nothing.

We lost our dog suddenly in September. He had a bad heart condition but was supposed to deteriorate gradually over time. Instead we left him in the morning bounding and happy, popped out for breakfast and came back to find him dead on the floor. sad

He was my PFB as he was a year older than our eldest DC.

We have another dog now, got him in November which was very soon, but I couldn't bear the dog shaped hole in the house. DH said when we met our new dog was the first time I'd smiled since losing PFB dog.

I still miss him loads and cry about him, but our new dog has made it a bit more bearable.

dietstartstmoz Sat 05-Jan-13 16:40:06

oh OP, that is so tragic and it must have been such a shock to you, I dont know how you managed to get through xmas and carry on. We lost our lovely old dog in July 2011, he was 14 and had been ill for a couple of years but I still miss him and had a big cry about him last week. I will always miss him. Big hugs from me, he was a part of your family and you need time to grieve.

smilingismyfavourite Sat 05-Jan-13 19:47:02

Oh goodness, thank you everyone for all the lovely and caring messages you have all left me following my post. I have read them all and cried buckets. It has really helped me to read them and to know that it's okay to still be so sad over the loss of my poor beautiful boy. I'm not really sure that I haven't been supported by those close to me but rather that I just bottled it up, got on with stuff and haven't shown how sad and broken I feel. As I wasn't speaking about it I expect everyone else though it was okay to just move on too. I will certainly feel less awful about speaking about it now and I think DCs and I will create some way to remember him properly. Thank you all so much for your help and I'm so sorry too for all the lovely people who are still feeling the same way for their lovely pets as I am feeling about my boy sad I still feel lucky and blessed that I had him in my life, even if it was for far too short a time xxx

Oh you poor thing. I've lost a dog and a cat in road traffic accidents and there is nothing like it. One minute they are with you and healthy and the next minute they are just gone sad
I've also lost pets to ill health and cancer and that's very sad too but at least I got to prepare.
YOU need to grieve properly so cry if you want to. Let your children see you sad, this is a valuable a lesson for them.

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