To wonder how sex can be "unnatural" ;? TMI alert

(143 Posts)
PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 00:44:10

Been with DP just over 12 months, we only ever have sex in the missionary position. I have tried to instigate other things but he somehow manages to veto them.
Normally I sleep in his arms but last night I wanted more space and turned over to sleep. DP snuggled in to the back of me and used this as a perfect opportunity to take control and put DPs thing in from behind. It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away. But just as it seemed to be getting in the right place DC woke up and needed tending to.
When I returned, DP got on top as usual and said "this is better, that other way was unnatural" confused

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 00:46:41

God how boring. You need to get on top and ride it like a rodeo horse.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 00:47:41

DP's "thing" how old are you?

abbierhodes Sat 05-Jan-13 00:51:11

"It wasn't going particularly well but DP didn't move away" Erm...consent? If a man posted that he'd be crucified!

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 00:52:21

That's where I am going wrong I can't form the words to tell DP I want something different.

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 00:53:06

Write it down then and give him a note.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 00:53:26

Is he your first partner Pepsi?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 00:53:32

Don't tell him get on top and show him.

TrippingTheLifeFantastic Sat 05-Jan-13 00:53:45

It's easy to form - penis. See? Simple! smile

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:54:16

Has he got hang ups about sex, as far as you can see? Other than this 'unnatural' comment, obviously!

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 00:54:17

Consent? DP was pushing it in to me. Are you implying I forced him somehow?

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 00:55:33

Spooning position is not always easy if you aren't used to it - coordinating movement can be tricky.
Try going on top, put the lights out if you feel self-conscious to begin with.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 00:56:11

No not my first.
I'm not sure about hang ups. I think more he believes its his role to be in control. OMG how sexist does that sound but sadly true I suspect.

abbierhodes Sat 05-Jan-13 00:56:40

You don't have to physically force someone, if they are not willing then it is NOT GOOD. I repeat, if a man posted that on here he'd be flamed.

abbierhodes Sat 05-Jan-13 00:56:42

You don't have to physically force someone, if they are not willing then it is NOT GOOD. I repeat, if a man posted that on here he'd be flamed.

Feelingood Sat 05-Jan-13 00:56:59

No did you consent to sex?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 00:57:53

So do you never ever ever have sex apart from him on top in bed?

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 00:57:57

If that is the case and you are happy with it the doggie style might be worth a try. I'm not sure where the implied lack of consent came from- I didn't get that from your posts.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 00:58:57

I did try to suggest something different and got met with "no two times are ever the same" confused bloody feels like it to me!

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 00:59:32

I'm not sure it's really sexist, more just the way he's got used to?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:00:08

Exactly Brandy and from they way he seems suggesting doggy would give him a coronary.

TheFallenNinja Sat 05-Jan-13 01:00:33

Perhaps he's not sure how good his A game is so stays away from the tried and trusted. It's a toughie to talk about particularly if its never really been discussed or if the initiation has changed from one to the other over time.

I guess any talk of change might be received as criticism?

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:01:15

It sounds like the issue is that he is not that interested in what you want but rather sees sex as a means to an end ie. an orgasm for him regardless of your enjoyment - is that a fair representation?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:01:44

When I was touching him he stopped me and I said I was enjoying that but he looked confused and climbed on top.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:03:03

Cas yes only I blush have faked it too many times so he believes I do enjoy it like that.

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:03:25

How much do you enjoy your sex life?

AmberLeaf Sat 05-Jan-13 01:04:20

Sounds like he has hang ups.

Don't know what to suggest, but I think stuff like this is very deep rooted.

It would be a deal breaker for me.

Are you happy other than this issue?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 01:04:21

Get him drunk OP and tell him you want him to do you doggy. Maybe try find some Spanish fly to slip in his drink <cackles>

So when your having sex (god such personal questions) do you stick you legs in the air? Around his back? Pillow under your bum? Legs on his shoulders? Or is it literally missionary position with no extras?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:04:36

Yes discussion would be seen as criticism especially this far down the line.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:04:56

It seems he was prepared to try something different until you were disturbed and then thought better of it. I'd say he has deep seated issues, sorry, I realise that's not helpful!

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:05:43

Ok so stop faking it immediately- it is dishonest but more importantly encourages sex that doesn't do it for you.
When you don't fake it he will surely notice and that is your opportunity to say this isn't working for me tonight honey could we try a different position, how about . . . . .

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:07:02

No extras Brandy I try to wriggle free to maybe lift my legs up or something but he doesn't take that as a cue to do anything just I assume thinks I'm getting more comfy or something.

SinisterBuggyMonth Sat 05-Jan-13 01:07:44

Just thinking... Was the "unnatural" comment because he thought you were initiating bumsex?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:07:57

I tried getting us both drunk. So I had dutch courage to ask for more and could blame the drink for it in the morning. He was so drunk he couldn't get it up!

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:09:03

He knew it wasn't bumsex. My reply was along lines of its hardly like I put it up my bum. He just laughed and said fair enough.

AmberLeaf Sat 05-Jan-13 01:09:11

Good point Sinister

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:09:55

I think you should try to talk about it away from the bedroom, with or without alcohol!

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:11:35

Cas I stopped faking last time. He just kept changing speeds, going deeper etc til in end he just went for it and begged me to come. So I faked it on the last second.

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 01:12:20

Op I shouldn't be laughing but I am.

Fuck it tell it to him straight, say I am bored of this and can we both spice things up a bit. Buythe karma sutra (why not) and tell him you want to work your way through it.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:12:43

And say what?

cynner Sat 05-Jan-13 01:13:23

I think some men feel anything other then missionary is not masculine..
Can you speak to him in a moment when you are both relaxed..let him know it would heighten your pleasure if you could try some new positions? Nothing scary,like "oh let's get a sex swing"

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 01:14:10

Give him the book say dp I want to spice things up its getting slightly samey all the time. What do you want to try first.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:14:18

I do find it odd/sad that you can't discuss this. What are you afraid of? What do you think will happen if he feels criticised?

cynner Sat 05-Jan-13 01:14:21

Or ermm..Work our way backwards through the Karma Sutra..

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:15:10

I've tried so many hints like handed him 50 shades of grey and said start at chapter 15 we might learn something new to try. He just laughed and put it down and carried on with what he was doing.

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 01:16:20

No your going to get flamed now for mentioning that shite book.

Stonefield Sat 05-Jan-13 01:18:36

First of all Abbierhodes, stop worrying about consent, if a man is pushing it into your back when he's asleep he's willing and wanting it, this being proved by the fact that he's climbed on top and finished.

OP you need to go for it! If he won't discuss it then take control, definitely stop faking it and just tell him what you want. Is it always in bed? How about varying location? I know it can be difficult sometimes with DC's, but trying to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves no matter what time of day. Can't you get him to bend you over the kitchen table?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:18:42

Sorry but I was desperate and I agree its shite but I only found out after I bought it.

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Jan-13 01:20:22

How well do you know him and how much do you know about his past?

Is there a chance he may have had a bad experience/relationship that's clouding things for him?

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:20:23

I would say "I love you and I love having sex with you but I want to try something other than missionary because it's boring "

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:20:46

If only stone I suggested I scrubbed his back in the shower thinking there's no room to lie down but he declined and said he'd prefer to shower in peace.

cynner Sat 05-Jan-13 01:20:55

Damn it...I have already been flamed tonight..
OP, I know finding the right words can be difficult in the sex arena (I could speak sex all night, money is my fright inducer..)
Maybe think of sentences that will get your needs met in a non threatening way..

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:21:55

Some people don't respond we'll to hints. When he begs you to come that's when you tell him you want to change position of not before.

WeAreEternal Sat 05-Jan-13 01:22:39

My mum always used to say to me "if you can't have an adult discussion about sex with your partner, taking about anything from contraception to what positions you would enjoy, then you shouldn't be having sex with that person in the first place"

I know that it is a statement aimed at teenage me but for some reason reading your posts it just jumped into my mind.

You really should be able to talk about this with your DP, I don't think just trying to initiate a new position is enough, I really think you need to figure out why he finds missionary the only acceptable position for sex.

And your faking enjoyment has probably not helped the problem, if he is convinced anything other than mitionary is unnatural then your faking it will only have cemented on his mind that mitionary is good and fine and enjoyable.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:24:22

Feel free not to answer but does he like/allow oral sex (giving or receiving)

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 01:24:58

I completely understand you faking it op, I would of to just to get him off me grin

Again tell it to him straight and give loads of appreciation when he does something new.

cynner Sat 05-Jan-13 01:25:01

^what WE said^
I actually may borrow your very smart mum's words to use with my teenage daughter...

Sunnywithshowers Sat 05-Jan-13 01:29:17

Pepsi, the comment about consent was more about the fact that you hadn't explicitly consented, not that your DP hadn't. Did you mind that he was sticking his penis into you when you wanted to go to sleep?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:29:46

I played coy and said I have no idea how to please myself you will have to show me. To which he replied well I'm hardly going to have experience of making a woman come using a toy am I?
I said I don't see why not. He looked confused.

auburntrees Sat 05-Jan-13 01:30:06

possibly a fantasy night? What he would enjoy, what you might enjoy? Very gently introduced? One of my favourite sayings is 'if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got'.

Maybe just a gentle step at a time, no pressure, just something very subtle. But do talk to him.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:30:59

I read it that OP used the opportunity to guide her dp's penis into her!

Stonefield Sat 05-Jan-13 01:31:12

Oh my god! He really needs to listen to you. Start making him work for it, if he genuinely cares about whether you come or not then he should be willing to try something new.
How about asking him about his fantasies and then telling him yours, women are always more imaginative than men, maybe you can open his eyes.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:32:01

I have given it him once but he looked very uncomfortable and he would never do it back.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:33:08

Thorn well put

showtunesgirl Sat 05-Jan-13 01:34:02

OP, never, ever fake anything during sex. It's absolutely pointless.

It does sound like there are some underlying issues here.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:34:58

Pepsi, someone asked up thread, do you know much about his previous partners/experiences?

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:35:07

Stone I have tried and just got "dont know" reply but I will try again and maybe think of one of my own that won't scare him.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:35:49

He was married for 20 yrs, single for 5.

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Jan-13 01:36:30

How much do you know about his past and do you think he could have had a bad relationship?

An abusive relationship perhaps or just a strange one?

showtunesgirl Sat 05-Jan-13 01:36:58

Jeez, imagine married to someone for 20 years and they only want to try it one way! shock

Do you know what happened with his marriage?

Stonefield Sat 05-Jan-13 01:37:21

Can I ask what sort of man he is? How does he relax? Is he affectionate? Is he talkative about other things?

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Jan-13 01:37:29

X post

Do you know much about his 20yr marriage?

Perhaps he's bottling something up?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 05-Jan-13 01:39:27

This would be a deal breaker eventually for me OP. The thought of crap having to fake it to get him off me sex for the rest of my life would fill me with horror.

You really need to talk to him.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:39:31

She was a SAHM and then got a job and left him for a colleague. Don't know much more than that.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:40:38

It sounds like he has lost confidence and has become afraid to try new things. After a 20 year marriage it had probably become quite routine. Are you a lot younger than him?

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:41:06

DO NOT BE COY. Apologies for shouting but not you see that your lack of assertiveness and playing he little inexperienced woman who fakes it and coyly hands over books suggesting you might learn something is in large part responsible for this situation?
TELL HIM that what you are doing is not working for you and you want to try something else. Parts of this thread sound like you talk to him like you would someone you met at a bus stop not someone you are intimate with.
You are both responsible for your sex life life so take some action and dear god please don't refer to it as his "thing".

Stonefield Sat 05-Jan-13 01:42:11

Hmm, think she left him because she was bored and no doubt started having wild crazy sex with someone new.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:42:37

Hes quite affectionate in other ways. Likes to snuggle and watch a film. Likes a good snog but as soon as I go to touch him he sees it as a green light as I am instigating sex and starts stripping off and climbing on top. Despite me laughing and saying "do you think of anything else?" "its not all about sex". He seems to think touching = missionary sex = end result.

Stonefield Sat 05-Jan-13 01:44:03

No need to shout Casanama, OP is trying to make a change.

SinisterBuggyMonth Sat 05-Jan-13 01:44:03

The no oral sex would be a deal breaker for me. There are too many other men in the world who would.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:44:53

I can't tell him "its not working for me" he'd be gutted and most likely go in to his shell more.

showtunesgirl Sat 05-Jan-13 01:45:50

Then OP, you'll have to resign yourself to crap sex forever if you don't tell him.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:46:31

Lots of people don't like oral though it concerns me that it indicates he's not that interested in pleasing me.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:47:24

So tell him you have a treat for him and want to blow his mind?!

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:48:27

I think it suggests a fear of "losing control" rather than not pleasing you.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:48:38

He's lovely in other ways.
Just not driven by sex but enjoys it at the time, if only I can open his eyes to try other things. Surely he sees other things on telly or in the media? and wonders what they are like?

SinisterBuggyMonth Sat 05-Jan-13 01:48:59

But he thinks he is pleasing you if you fake it.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:49:12

What treat though?

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:49:49

I know she is, I just think this softly softly approach may leave her still wondering in six months what she can o to improve this. It may well be that he lacks confidence to do anything other than missionary and OP taking a grip of the situation, if you'll excuse the pun, may be the best thing she ever does.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:51:26

Ask him to lie back and let you spoil him. Give him a massage with lots of oil then just jump on grin

Casmama Sat 05-Jan-13 01:53:04

OP that's why I suggested you tell him it's not working for you tonight- not a major issue, let's be spontaneous and try something else. If you feel the need fake it occasionally in other positions to encourage experimentation but try to stop faking it completely.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 01:53:49

grin that made me laugh!

ClippedPhoenix Sat 05-Jan-13 01:55:22

I think maybe you're giving him mixed signals by acting coy, and pretending to orgasm, what's that about?

Some people are just not sensual beings either.

Stonefield Sat 05-Jan-13 01:55:46

I agree OP that if he's not willing to consider oral then he's not committed to pleasing you. You've just got to lay it on the line. If he carries on, thinking that more speed = you coming then tell him to get off so you can finish yourself off, make him watch, maybe he'll learn something.

thornrose Sat 05-Jan-13 01:58:36

Pepsi, I'm off to bed now, sadly alone, seriously I hope you can find a way to express your needs, all the best.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 02:00:39

Thankyou, I will update!
Best get to sleep myself. Didn't realise the time. Night all!

Sallyingforth Sat 05-Jan-13 12:10:57

Every time you fake it OP you are reinforcing his weird fixation on missionary. It's as much your fault as his.
I think you should be brave and read out this thread to him so that he can realise he must change his behaviour if you are to stay together.

showtunesgirl Sat 05-Jan-13 12:21:32

I agree that you have to be honest with him but I think that letting him read this thread would IMO tip him over the edge. This is a man who won't entertain the thought of any other position rather than missionary. Now imagine his response that you've told the whole of cyberspace this!

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 13:32:14

I won't be reading this out. He would end it. He is a very private person. Too private that is half the problem.

Sallyingforth Sat 05-Jan-13 15:45:33

I do understand your reluctance. It's natural. But you can only solve the problem by being open with him. Otherwise you are going to carry on the same way forever. His ex lived with him like this for 20 years.

girlynut Sat 05-Jan-13 16:45:18

You need to lay it on the line for him, not make subtle hints and suggestions. He's brushed all your previous hints aside. I'd suggest an honest chat about how you're feeling about your sex life, with the emphasis on how it makes you feel, rather than blaming him for being so repressed.

If he then makes some changes and tries out some new things, all well and good.

If he doesn't, that speaks volumes about how much your happiness means to him.

FWIW, I have a similar partner. Very disinterested in anything other than getting to "the end" and very boring. Happy to receive but not give and won't consider going down on me as that's "too near the bumhole"!! I bought him a book called She Comes First which he discarded. Suggested counselling which he refused. So now we don't have sex. And I'll probably leave if someone better comes along. sad

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 16:58:36

Aww girly that sounds dire.

Mia4 Sat 05-Jan-13 19:06:02

Did he mean unnatural or did he mean 'uncomfortable' and 'doesn't work' or 'doesn't turn me on?'

Sounds like you need to be me open OP: get on top, get him to take you doggy, get a karma sutra to show him a whole 'verse of positions? Use vibes maybe as well if clitoral stimulation gets you off more then PV sex?

You also need to stop faking it, you can always say it's just not working for you any more and want to try something new or you can just stop faking and tell him what's wrong.

Mia4 Sat 05-Jan-13 19:07:20

Girly why don't you just leave anyway? Better to be single and looking and make love to yourself then be coupled and unhappy, resentful and unsatisfied.

Mia4 Sat 05-Jan-13 19:12:23

*more open even

strumpetpumpkin Sat 05-Jan-13 19:13:17

dump him. Thats going to get very boring, very quickly. Tell him

curiousuze Sat 05-Jan-13 19:15:11

He sounds like Mark from Peep Show

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 19:54:31

Never seen it.

Lucy411 Sat 05-Jan-13 20:00:00

Get him pissed and ride it smile

Kundry Sat 05-Jan-13 20:13:09

Stop faking - you may need to phase it out but somehow he needs to learn that women don't generally come from penis in vagina sex. Unfortunately your faking hasn't helped him!

I didn't exactly fake, but when I started going out with my now DH I did exaggerate a bit when he was heading in the right direction.

However I also made no encouragement at all when something just wasn't doing it for me - end result was that both of us (and frankly we were both as rubbish as each other) now have a lovely time wink

Is your partner from another culture? I only ask as my ex husband was like this until I trained him. I know it's difficult if you've been faking to suddenly stop but you really have to.
You have to talk with him but it'd probably best to ha e this kind of discussion away from the bedroom.

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 21:52:47

Some people's sex lives are really fucking grim. sad

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 22:04:22

It never used to be! This is a new one on me

Probably not helpful but I've just asked my Dp his opinion and he said "Dump him".

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 22:14:29

that is a completely normal reaction by your dp, MON

cheesesarnie Sat 05-Jan-13 22:27:30

i've only just discovered why everyone else is so 'obsessed' by sex!
i had no idea and was a real prude, i didn't enjoy it, it was just something i felt i had to do.
turns out i was probably just sleeping with the wrong person/people wink

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 22:31:49

CS, that is a great "lightbulb moment"...up there with the best of 'em grin

cheesesarnie Sat 05-Jan-13 22:33:00

grin it really is! imagine- i could still be there and not know this!

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 22:37:06

erk it doesn't bear thinking about !

too many women put up with shit sex

if only more would break free and find someone good at it (not those porn-fulled dickhead that think they are...)

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 22:37:25

*fuelled

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 22:43:19

He's a lovely guy. I like other things about him just not that. He thinks its good. He looks in to my eye while he's doing it and thinks we have some connection or something. I'm torn between wishing it would last longer and wishing it would hurry up because it isn't going to get any better.

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 22:45:49

you see this lasting 30 odd years ?

really ?

The thing is all Women are different. What works for one women won't necessarily work for another.
I think every man needs a little bit of training in his partner's particular likes and dislikes. My dp who is pretty good still needs to be shouted at gently told not to shove his hand down my knickers without so much as a kiss.

PepsiCoco Sat 05-Jan-13 22:50:22

I get that but 12 months on and I'm making zero head way on that one.
Despite over encouragement at the slightest change!

ouryve Sat 05-Jan-13 22:54:55

wtf?

Has this been done yet?

Been with DP just over 12 months, we only ever have sex in the missionary position. He has tried to instigate other things but I somehow manage to veto them.
Normally I sleep in his arms but last night I wanted more space and turned over to sleep. DP snuggled in to the back of me and used this as a perfect opportunity to take control and he put his thing in from behind. It wasn't going particularly well but I didn't move away. But just as it seemed to be getting in the right place DC woke up and needed tending to.
When I returned, I got DP on top as usual and said "this is better, that other way was unnatural"

OldMacEIEIO Sat 05-Jan-13 22:59:05

Tell him that Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter liked to do the missionary position but that real men do it doggy style.

Just make sure he takes you to a street where you are not well known

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 23:00:51

OldMac..is that meant to be helpful ?

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 05-Jan-13 23:03:19

You need to have a really frank and honest discussion about this. Don't lie - be totally honest or you will be miserable.

OldMacEIEIO Sat 05-Jan-13 23:03:58

no. I'm not sure how to help with this one. So I though a little joke might be in order

many a true word is spoken in jest you know

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 23:07:12

oh

erm..

OldMacEIEIO Sat 05-Jan-13 23:09:20

oh dear..

look, if you are having communication problems, why not try a little humour

hows that AF ?

AnyFucker Sat 05-Jan-13 23:13:13

I expect it depends on if you think JS and GG are appropriate subjects for injecting humour into one's own sex life

me ? not so much....

Is it your birthday soon (it's valentine's soon!). Tell him you want it doggy style for your birthday.

Or, you know, just say, 'can we try this way, I don't want us to get stuck in a rut?'.

I think any discussion has to be done out of thr bedroom before you both get naked.

cheesesarnie Sat 05-Jan-13 23:38:37

old- hilarious hmm!
hows that funny?

Well, I had fab sec this evening anyway. We did it in at least four different positions oh and bumsex

*sex! Damned iPhone!

sashh Sun 06-Jan-13 08:07:53

Buy some porn.

Or if he can't cope with that then 'Game of Thrones' might give him some ideas.

Is he RC by any chance, or is it just his age. YOu said married for 20 years, single for 5 and 12 with you so 37 - if he got marries at 20 = 57.

At that age he would probably not have got any other message from films or literature.

Treat your self to a sex toy, something like an egg vibrator that doesn't look like a penis substitut and invite him to watch you use it, or use it when you are in the missionary position.

PepsiCoco Sun 06-Jan-13 08:15:00

12 months not year. Good god imagine that!

PepsiCoco Sun 06-Jan-13 08:16:24

I think from missionary to sex toy might be a little too much!

HenryCrun Sun 06-Jan-13 09:19:54

You do need to have a frank chat, as 90% of men are probably better in bed than this guy. It sounds like he has some moral issue with anything other than missionary, which is a silly thing to believe, so do tackle(!) this with him before it gets out of hand.

DannyUK Sun 06-Jan-13 09:22:56

If he enjoys kissing and cuddling, but always moves straight to sex, then try kissing and cuddling somewhere more public where he won't strip down straight away. (Cinema, perhaps?)

Zara1984 Sun 06-Jan-13 09:24:34

You need a frank chat with him - his attitude is seriously weird!

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