to feel mightly annoyed that everyone forgot my DS 1st birthday

(98 Posts)
mandoo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:28:06

He only got 6 cards. Only one of my friends remembered and even his uncle forgot. I am a stickler for remembering peoples birthdays and sending cards. One of his gifts was wrapped in christmas paper, surely this is just not on? I feel I may now 'forget' everyone else's birthday this year!!

Salmotrutta Fri 04-Jan-13 18:31:20

How many do you think he should have got?

And clearly everyone didn't forget or he wouldn't have any cards would he hmm

Salmotrutta Fri 04-Jan-13 18:31:55

Oh, and YABU by the way.

theoriginalandbestrookie Fri 04-Jan-13 18:32:35

6 cards, thats quite a lot to have arrived unprompted.
Fine forget everyone elses birthday I'm sure they will live

He is 1, he really won't care.

Even in years to come who cares about christmas paper? It get ripped off and binned anyway.

He got 6 cards so 6 people remembered.

Gumby Fri 04-Jan-13 18:33:21


He won't mind what paper his present is wrapped in

Nice reply there.....

YANBU I'd be peeved also. Sometimes, people get caught up in their own lives and forget things. I hope you and DS had a lovely day and that you enjoyed his first birthday

nightowlmostly Fri 04-Jan-13 18:33:47

I'm not sure if YABU, tbh. I'm crap at dates, and if one of my friends had had a baby a year ago I might well not remember the exact date. Did you talk about it in advance, arrange some kind of party? If you didn't mention it I can understand why people forgot, these things aren't as significant to other people as they are to you. I get why you're a bit upset though, their first feels like a really important milestone.

I'm planning a big family do for my DS's first birthday, I won't give anyone a chance to forget! We didn't have a christening as we're not religious, so this will be our proper party to celebrate his birth.

ujjayi Fri 04-Jan-13 18:33:52

Erm, he received 6 cards and some gifts. Get a grip. His birthday was not forgotten by all.

YABU, ungrateful and rather precious.

whistlestopcafe Fri 04-Jan-13 18:34:16

YANBU. First birthdays are particularly special and it's sad that family members have forgotten.

I don't see the big deal about the Christmas paper though. I have been known to wrap presents up in Xmas paper in June!

HecatePropolos Fri 04-Jan-13 18:34:18

At this age he neither knows nor cares about his birthday and any cards he get will not so much be appreciated as chewed grin Ditto wrapping paper.

I am sure when he is old enough to actually know it's his birthday, people will get things for him. At one year old, it's really for your benefit rather than his.

And I know how you feel grin I'd be all grrr, you forgot my BABY YOU EVIL BASTARD!!! grin

But you have to put on your sensible pants and let it go. See how they are in future years, when he knows anything about it.

Or you could mention it. See what they say.

dequoisagitil Fri 04-Jan-13 18:35:28

Cards for a one year old (and for small children generally) are pointless and a waste of money.

Close family should give a present, god-parents (if any) as well - apart from that everyone else gets away with doing nothing, imo.

LynetteScavo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:36:15

Did you have a party for him?

I find that's a good way to remind people of birthdays.

You may be a stickler for remembering peoples birthdays and sending cards, but not everybody is.

carocaro Fri 04-Jan-13 18:38:39

I'd be peeved too, however tis par for the course, I don't remember friends children's birthdays, there are too many, they don't remember mine and it's fine, sort of an unwritten rule of life as a Mum that no one tells you about! As long as you and Dh and close family it's all that matters. My brother, DS's Uncle is a fab fun uncle but can't remember their birthdays and it does not really matter cos he still loves them.

Kalisi Fri 04-Jan-13 18:41:46

I would only be annoyed if close family had forgotten my DS's first Birthday. We did get quite a few cards but that's because we threw a party. Otherwise he wouldn't have got many.

mandoo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:42:28

Ok mixed results there. Ranging from full on bitchy to rather sweet. Typical mumsnet stuff. Thanks you all for your opinions, as always enlightening.

DontmindifIdo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:46:05

Are you holding a party? If so, most will just bring them there.

Honestly, I can't remember my nieces birthday date, it's early July, and I have it written down somewhere, so will work on the principle if they don't hold a party, I'll send something the last week of June to be on the safe side.

LuluMai Fri 04-Jan-13 18:47:33

What's wrong with Xmas paper? I always wrap DS's in left over Xmas paper (birthday 27th Jan)- kids don't give a shit what paper they're wrapped in (particularly at the age yours is at)- they want what's underneath!

HollyTheHedgehog Fri 04-Jan-13 18:49:25

My sons birthday is today. Several family members forgot.

Its not their fault, they'd never deliberately forget, its just the time of year. Peoples brains are scrambled from Christmas and new year and getting their heads round going back to work.

Its just the downside to having a birthday this time of year, dont take it to heart. Dont be too hard on them.

DontmindifIdo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:49:58

BTW - who were the 6 cards from? For a 1st birthday I would expect cards from grandparents, parents, yours and DP's siblings and any godparents, after that, I wouldn't expect anyone else to send one without throwing a party, that would be about 6 for us...

TraineeBabyCatcher Fri 04-Jan-13 18:51:17

It would depend on who forgot.

I have a big family, so 6 cards would mean half of the family had forgotten, I would be upset at family forgetting.
However friends forgetting is fairly normal I think.

MrsDeVere Fri 04-Jan-13 18:53:07

As long as his grandparents and close aunties/uncles remembered I don't see the issue.

Its upsetting if your own siblings don't bother, particularly if you make the effort.

I wouldn't give my own uncles/aunts etc a second thought though!

lulu I think you will find (if you did a quick poll) that having birthday presents wrapped in christmas paper is quite the bug bear for those with Dec/Jan birthdays.

I have one in Dec and two in Jan. I always try and make them as separate from Christmas as possible. Specially for DC4 who is on 29th.

I was a bit hmm with my DM who turned up with a mix of birthday and Christmas for the DCs and then got a bit miffed that DC4 couldnt tell the difference between them because they were all wrapped in the same paper.

hugoagogo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:53:14


As someone who has a birthday over the Christmas period, I remember vividly having birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper and it certainly did bother me.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 04-Jan-13 18:54:33

Whether YABU or not depends on who 'everyone' is. I'd expect Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles to remember, but not friends, unless you have always given presents to their children, in which case, they are now obliged.

bbface Fri 04-Jan-13 18:56:34

Relax. He got a few cards and pressies.

Whatever you do, try not to be this uptight around his as he grows older. Teach him not to get worked up and stressed about the little stuff. And to be absolutely clear, this issue most definitely falls under the 'little stuff' banner.

mandoo Fri 04-Jan-13 18:57:19

Thank you. I just knew that birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper was not on. I would never do it, thats why they sell birthday wrapping and christmas wrapping.

Salmotrutta Fri 04-Jan-13 18:59:56

How many nieces and nephews do your friends (who didn't send a card) have OP?

Because if they are anything like me and DH, they may have a dozen of their own family to remember. And that's only the nephews and nieces.

Lizzylou Fri 04-Jan-13 19:00:47

I'd have been upset too.
BUT, It is a tricky time of year, doesn't mean he is loved any the less and at his tender age won't know.
Perhaps get everyone who you want to remember (and who didn't) a calendar for Christmas next year and mark your DS's birthday on? grin

mandoo Fri 04-Jan-13 19:01:34

Oh dear it seems that 'uptight' is how I am coming across. Am normally quite laid back but certain things do matter to me, as they do with everyone, and I think birthdays are the one day of the year when people should think remember you, however small you are.

arghhelpme Fri 04-Jan-13 19:01:42

Ds1 got 6 cards too.
His dad didn't bother with a card OR present.
So i think yab a tiny bit u

Halfling Fri 04-Jan-13 19:02:03

Don't fret as long as your immediate family remembered.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Fri 04-Jan-13 19:04:38

YANBU I'd have been pissed at the Christmas paper too

but other than your DB/DBIL, who forgot who shouldn't have?
IMO the friends and wider family who do send new baby gifts don't do the every day "normal" birthdays so it's not necessarily a case of forgetting, just like as others have said, nieces and nephews are enough to be getting on with

jelliebelly Fri 04-Jan-13 19:05:30

YANBU about the Christmas paper. My DH has a birthday during the Christmas hols and always felt that his parents used Christmas paper because they couldn't be bothered - it really is quite an issue for him even now he is over 40!

My birthday is christmas eve, and i've never been bothered by xmas paper?

I dont think YABU to be peeved about the lack of cards though. Six cards will seem like none if you have 50 close friends/family, but it may seem a lot to someone who only has six!

Oh, and I always buy plain silver paper - does for everything wink

Almostfifty Fri 04-Jan-13 19:20:12

OP, I bet all those who said YABU haven't got birthdays around this time of year.

Well, I have. I've had a lot of them. I'm not precious about it after all these years, but it wasn't nice when I was a child. It's a bloody awful time of year to have a birthday, and it wasn't helped by people forgetting.

It isn't on to wrap presents in Christmas paper. It isn't on to not give presents as 'you've just had a Christmas present'. It isn't on to forget a nephew or niece.

It is on to be uptight about it OP. Would the same people like it if it had happened to their child? I doubt it.

If I were you, I'd have a teaparty and invite all your friends and family next year. They won't forget then.

The only good thing is that you've realised how the land will lie from now on.

MiraWard Fri 04-Jan-13 19:24:57

I don't think anyone was bitchy - tis just reality surely. A big lesson in life is that your PFB is of supreme importance to YOU and to absolutely no-one else. Even grandparents cannot be relied upon.

dequoisagitil Fri 04-Jan-13 19:26:26

No, I really believe that cards are wasted on small children, whether their birthday is close to Xmas or not. One of my dc's birthday is close to Xmas.

I also wouldn't expect friends to give my baby gifts or extended family. OTOH, I would expect presents from:
- grandparents, yes,
- god-parents, yes,
- my/dh's siblings, yes - although I have been disappointed on that score grin.

Mia4 Fri 04-Jan-13 19:28:56

Can't say whether you ABU or not, ou could only have 8 family members and this be a great turn out or have 50 and this be shit. Same for friends really.

Something to note is that in some areas (mine included, my friends dad is a postman and he verified) Royal Mail's in a mess due to Xmas and New year deliveries and returns- somethings are massively delayed. So he may get more in a few days. Di your parents/DPs parents remember?

yfuwchhapus Fri 04-Jan-13 19:29:18

Happy birthday to your precious DS...first birthday is very special.

I would have been very peed off!

pigletmania Fri 04-Jan-13 19:30:21

Yabu his birthday was remembered. It does not matter if it was Christmas wrapping, it's the thought that counts

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 04-Jan-13 19:30:49

Um... Bit of both I think

I can see why you're bothered by it. I think I would be too. But by the same're upset because it's a perceived slight that affects you far more than it does your baby.

<sits on fence>

fuckadoodlepoopoo Fri 04-Jan-13 19:32:42

I've kept my children's first birthday cards so for me they do matter, so for that reason alone i would have been upset about it.

Don't understand all the posters saying get a grip cards don't matter because they clearly do to the op.

Wrapping paper not so much because its a nightmare going to the shops around Christmas! I ended up wrapping one up in Christmas paper because i physically couldn't get to the shop on Christmas eve and it would of been a nightmare if i had.

I suppose i could have planned better but what with Christmas, work and children there's a lot going on around then. I did thought choose the least Christmassy one i could and i felt bad about it.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 04-Jan-13 19:32:53

Also OP - make sure in future you do something in particular for birthdays. It's a swine having birthdays around the Christmas period as many of my friends have testified.

HecatePropolos Fri 04-Jan-13 19:36:25

Try being a december baby, almost50
With xmas decs going up on your birthday and you being expected to think this made your birthday special, with people complaining about having to get you something so close to christmas, getting one thing for both, or nowt at all, xmas wrapping paper of course, or people not really being fussed cos its nearly christmas.
<spews ishoos aaaaalllllll over thread>


If people are due to visit then they may bring any cards/presents then and that is perfectly reasonable.

I would only expect a card from immediate family - any others are just a bonus. We don't do cards/presents for friends' children unless we go to a party.

Christmas paper is a bit poor.

Ephiny Fri 04-Jan-13 19:36:37

You might expect family to remember, but not necessarily friends. I have no idea when any of my friends children's birthdays are, and tbh it wouldn't have occurred to me that it was any of my business confused.

mercibucket Fri 04-Jan-13 19:37:17

I wouldn't expect cards from friends for a child's first birthday unless I threw a party, and even then I wouldn't be bothered either way.
It'd be nice to get cards from grandparents - so 2.
I obviously have lower standards

My birthday is at xmas. It's the 'joint present' thing that's the killer - wrapping paper is v unimportant.

mercibucket Fri 04-Jan-13 19:37:17

I wouldn't expect cards from friends for a child's first birthday unless I threw a party, and even then I wouldn't be bothered either way.
It'd be nice to get cards from grandparents - so 2.
I obviously have lower standards

My birthday is at xmas. It's the 'joint present' thing that's the killer - wrapping paper is v unimportant.

amillionyears Fri 04-Jan-13 19:39:52

op, you are coming across as feeling a bit unloved yourself.
There has been a thread on here before, where the people who are very concerned about birthdays, do it because they feel a little unloved.
Is this the case here?

As far as your DS is concerned,like others say, he wont remember.

And you may have to harden yourself to people sending him presents in future wrapped in Xmas paper, because of the time of year. You could gently ask people not to do it though, which would be a fair enough ask imo.

DS1 has a birthday around Christmas and people do forget more than at other times. He may not notice when he is one but he sure will when he is older.
When he was at school we would give out party invitations to his friends and very often they would "forget" to come.

bumbez Fri 04-Jan-13 19:46:47

It's my Birthday today I'm 46 sad

My Birthday got forgotten a lot when I was little probably due to folke not being organised with their new calenders.

My pet hate was the joint Christmas/ Birthday present - I would have had no concept that it cost twice as much.

My sister has it worse hers is on Xmas day along with my mother. grin

So yanbu and Happy Bithday to your Ds.

GentlyGentlyOhDear Fri 04-Jan-13 19:56:53

I would be upset too. Though I have issues passed on from my mother about the importance of birthdays as hers is 23rd December and she felt very insignificant as a child when people didn't bother.
So don't pass on the issue to your DS and pass on the Birthday Bitterness!

yellowsubmarine53 Fri 04-Jan-13 20:02:11

As others say, it's because it's this time of year.

I agree with the definitely keep Christmas and birthday presents separate, and consider that in future years you may want a half-year party ie early June, rather than a half-hearted early January one.

That will avoid the Christmas wrapping and double presents too.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Fri 04-Jan-13 20:05:56

Perhaps have his birthday parties a week or two late?

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Fri 04-Jan-13 20:06:35

I don't think it is because of the time of year

I think it depends on how many close family members the OP was expecting cards from, IMO there were possibly some unrealistic expectations about what friends do for friends kids unless they are invited to a party

and school friends forget/loose invites all year round, kids parties are just a nightmare whatever time of year it is and there's always loads of no shows

hugoagogo Fri 04-Jan-13 20:08:31

My Mum used to try and persuade me to have an official birthday in the summer; I always hated the idea. I just wanted people to remember my real birthday and not wish me happy fucking Christmas.angry

I am completely over it now obv. grin [twitch]

Cherriesarelovely Fri 04-Jan-13 20:17:59

YANBU in my opinion.. it is one of those irritating things about having a birthday so close to Christmas. I do as well and was having my own pathetic little moan about it today and I am 42! Having said that I do understand how people feel, even I am having a hard time getting enthusiastic about going out for my birthday plus we are all broke! Am seriously considering having a little celebration in the spring or summer instead. Sorry, I'm really not helping here!! You have my sympathy and I hope your little boy had a lovely day.

Loshad Fri 04-Jan-13 20:21:21

YABU, he is 1 and won't remember. None of my friends think first birthdays are very special, 21st possibly.
I say this as well as being someone who has a birthday immediately before Christmas, have never minded getting presents in christmas paper. We don't go out to eat as it is always crammed and sometimes joint presents are great (remembers a small chestnut pony one year grin)

Nuttyprofessor Fri 04-Jan-13 20:24:38

Yes it is the time of year. It is my DM birthday today, I sent her a boquet, it was a good job they did same day delivery.

My birthday was yesterday and I quite enjoyed getting joint presents as I could have double the value! I'm not uptight about Christmas paper as I appreciate that people will use what's to hand. It is nice to get birthday paper though and I always use it for others.

I'm a bit sat on the fence regards BU, it would depend who the 6 people were, whether you had a party or are having one this week. We always take the card & gift to the party. I'd expect DH & grandparents to remember. My bro didn't get me anything for my own birthday so I don't worry if he forgets DDs. I wouldn't necessarily expect friends to remember or send a card though.

YANBU, its your baby's first birthday! I'm not a birthday person, but I do think 1st birthdays are special smile

redexpat Fri 04-Jan-13 20:29:30

The thing is it sounds as if getting birthday cards to other people is important to you (and good on you btw) so then you feel cross when others dont extend the same courtesy to you. So YAB a little U, but very much understandable.

Floralnomad Fri 04-Jan-13 20:30:13

As long as the GPs remembered I wouldn't be concerned . I'm useless at remembering birthdays ,I've known my BIL 23 years and still have to check the date every year , one year I may bother to write it down!

harassedandherbug Fri 04-Jan-13 20:31:32

Op I know exactly how you feel. My ds was 1 on NYD.

We're having a little party at the weekend as we have a large family. It's just easier in a hall!

Have heard or had card/present from aunts/uncle but not even heard from mil (nor over Christmas), and dsd has turned up today with not even a card and isn't staying for his party as she's made plans. Before I get lynched for dsd comments, I have an older dd who she always gets card and a present for and whose parties she's always insisted on coming to.

I'm not bothered about presents, but a card or even a text just to show he hasn't been forgotten.

I have to say if anyone gives him Christmas paper, I'll be doing the same for their birthdays grin

elah11 Fri 04-Jan-13 20:32:41

I think YABU about the wrapping paper, my ds1s birthday is 23rd Dec and I can honestly say he doesnt give a hoot what paper its wrapped in, or if its even wrapped smile, thats just being fussy and pernickety to my mind. As regards the cards, well 6 is quite a good number, but it really depends on who sent them and who forgot? If , as everyone else has said, the people who count ie grandparents etc remembered then thats all that matters. Its a bit PFB to think everyone should remember your childs 1st birthday, once immediate family remember then thats fine. Ds1 loves having a Christmas birthday, he says its because he gets double pressies, (which he does from just family )

jessjessjess Fri 04-Jan-13 20:34:58

As a January baby I will tell you that you simply have to remind people as January birthdays are easily missed.

Zipitydooda Fri 04-Jan-13 20:37:20

I think close family should remember birthdays but anyone else is a thoughtful bonus unless you specifically have a birthday party and invite them.

re Christmas wrapping. I have 2 children with December birthdays, not only do they get christmas wrapping but they get joint christmas/birthday presents from some aunts and uncles. They are just happy to get a present (age 5 and 8). I'm not bothered about the wrapping at all but have considered getting nephew and neice birthday presents in Feb and May and saying that they are for christmas as well.

MerylStrop Fri 04-Jan-13 20:38:03

First birthdays are all about the parents, really.

You are being unrealistic to expect your mates - especially if childless - to remember it, unprompted, though it would be nice if family did.

Top tip - if you want people to remember - next year, invite people round.

Hobbitation Fri 04-Jan-13 20:44:30

I would expect only close family to remember. My friends and I don't bother with one another's kids birthdays. I only get cards and presents for a child when there is an actual party.

Rhubarbgarden Fri 04-Jan-13 20:46:24

It's about quality not quantity. Did the important people remember? Dd got about six. That was fine. But I did feel sad that nothing arrived from grandparents - one is dead, two are in Europe and they gave her a present the next time they visited (no card - no tradition of cards in their country), and the fourth 'didn't think he needed to for a one year old'. sad

As for the time of year, those with birthdays in December/January don't have a monopoly on shittiness. At school I always felt sorry for those with birthdays in May/June because every year for years on end they had exams on their birthday. My birthday is in August, and it was always crappy when I was a kid because everyone was on holiday and I could never get more than two or three guests to come to my birthday parties.

EuroShagmore Fri 04-Jan-13 20:51:16

I really struggle to remember the birthdays of my friends' children. I try but I have a lot going on in my life so it doesn't always happen.

Next year I recommend that a week beforehand you post on facebook "I can't believe is going to be one next week. The first year has really flown by!" That should help.

Uppermid Fri 04-Jan-13 20:51:54

YANBU - at all!

It is a very special time for you, of course your 1 yr old won't remember it, but it is a huge milestone for you and your friends and family should remember it.

We had friends who let us down at the very last minute re DD1's 1st birthday party, left a message when we were out getting food and drink for the party. They never apologies and never got in touch again (think they may have found out through mutual friends that I was really upset).

I've had problems with DH's family in past years about not remembering the children's birthdays - DD2 in particular was really upset - no card of phone call. Ever since then DH has made it clear to his family that at the very least a phone call is expected!

Birthdays aren't a huge deal to everyone and I get that, but if its important to you, your friends and family will kow this and should have celebrated with you.

socharlotte Fri 04-Jan-13 20:56:11

I would expect grandparents to remember , but thats all really.I think it is very precious and ungrateful to moan at the wrapping paper when someone has been kind enough to buy a present, especially when birthday boy won't know or care.

DeWe Fri 04-Jan-13 21:20:48

Personally I don't expect, nor ever did, friends to give my dc cards/presents. For most of my friends if they gave mine each a card, it would probably in the upwards of 20-30+ friend's children they would need to do so.
Godparents usually do, but my friends, not as a general rule, only if they're coming round on that day or something.

Bil has never remembered my ds' birthday. Not once in 5 years. I considered getting him a "dates to remember" book for Christmas, but I doubt it would make any difference.

Loshad Fri 04-Jan-13 21:20:54

good point rhubarb, ds2 has his birthday in june and has had an exam on his birthday every day for years - he has an A2 exam this year the day after his 18th sad so will definitely by deferred pleasure there.

montage Fri 04-Jan-13 21:24:38

TBH I think the reason that they sell Christmas wrapping paper and birthday wrapping paper is so they can make more money?

flumposie Fri 04-Jan-13 21:31:15

YANBU it is my daughter's third birthday today, we are miffed at the family member who gave no Christmas present, birthday card or birthday present when we have spent years remembering her children's and yet clearly knows when it is as has been commenting on my face book page .

sweetkitty Fri 04-Jan-13 21:39:44

YANBU my brother texted me to say he couldn't make it to DSs 1st birthday party as he was working and needed the extra money as he had a baby on the way, he was actually going to the football :S

First birthdays are special, I know a few friends who have DC with Christmas/New Year birthdays (we've been to 2 parties already this year) and they always make an extra effort to make it special for them.

marriedinwhite Fri 04-Jan-13 22:25:23

OP YANBU. Our DSis a Christmas day baby. It has always been hard work and I have always gee'd people up. His God parents have alwys remembered as has my stepfather's sister. His own aunts don't always remember and this year I bought him a card for DH's mother and got her to sign it. He was 18 this year and we have always done our best to big it up.

GreenShadow Fri 04-Jan-13 22:31:39

Honestly, does it really matter whether the wrapping paper is Christmas or birthday! At least they were wrapped.

HollyBerryBush Fri 04-Jan-13 22:43:42

I'm always in awe of people who have other people who forget.

We have no family left so my kids only get 2 cards, one from us, one from the NDN.

We and our friends are way beyond cards for all the prodigeny we have produced over the years!

Uppermid Fri 04-Jan-13 22:44:32

Yes it does matter green. Would you use christmas paper for a July birthday? It just shows general thoughlessness, that you couldn't be bothered.

Essexmamma Fri 04-Jan-13 22:46:32

Yanbu at all! I'd be very upset if people forgot, especially a first birthday. Parties are definitely the way forward and lots of hints on your Facebook! Hope ds had a lovely day

GreenShadow Fri 04-Jan-13 22:48:13

I wouldn't use 'Santa' paper for a birthday, but would use gold or similar Christmas paper.

squoosh Fri 04-Jan-13 22:48:28

Am hooting at the outrage over birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper. Who knew people cared so much about bloody wrapping paper! People have gone to the trouble of buying you a gift and you are still sniffy because it has snowmen on it? Seriously!

How many cards were you expecting? As others have said as long as the important close relatives remembered that's all that matters. You say his Uncle forgot, without wanting to be shockingly sexist, it's my experience that men aren't the most diligent with keeping up with family member's exact birth dates.

So basically YABU.

TreadOnTheCracks Fri 04-Jan-13 22:54:00

I share your frustration. My second child has a birthday very near christmas and receives only a fraction of what my summer birthday older child does.

He is nearing an age when he will notice now.

I compensate, he has a "royal" birthday about 6 months from now. It is annoying.

I do take the point about not being uptight about it. I will try to take note of that sage advice too.

WinterWinds Sat 05-Jan-13 00:25:44

Would you use christmas paper for a July birthday?

Yes i did once for a birthday party that DD had been invited to and had run out of birthday wrapping paper, but to be fair it was baby pink and had little fairys on it so looked like birthday wrap!!!

Op it really does depend on how many cards you were expecting for your Ds.
My DC's only get a maximum of 5 cards each, may not sound alot but they are from the people who matter most and thats what is important.
Although DH is from a large family we are not particularly close to most of them. The Dc's dont miss out at all, they are greatful for those that they do recieve.

I didn't as a child and still wouldnt mind getting my birthday present wrapped in christmas paper. I always associate my birthday as being part of the christmas period and christmas is not officially over until i have had my birthday!!

amillionyears Sat 05-Jan-13 09:13:56

op, are you ok?

IsabelleRinging Sat 05-Jan-13 09:24:41

You should have announced his impending birthday on facebook.

Uppermid Sun 06-Jan-13 10:13:31

Well just goes to show that as usual different people have different views!

If you know that birthdays / wrapping paper are important to someone, then you should acknowledge that rather then dismiss them and say that they're being stupid.

oldpeculiar Sun 06-Jan-13 15:41:17

'If you know that birthdays / wrapping paper are important to someone, then you should acknowledge that rather then dismiss them and say that they're being stupid. '

I think it is precious and ungrateful to take umbrage at the wrong wrapping paper, I really do!

HappyAsASandboy Sun 06-Jan-13 15:53:28

It is a shame that people you thought would remember didn't send cards.

I think part if it is the time of year. My birthday is around now too, and you get used to a random set of people remembering each year, and to Christmas paper too! It is just one of the perils of a Christmas birthday.

JustFabulous Sun 06-Jan-13 16:09:21

YANBU, you are hurt. You put a lot of store by remembering birthdays and sending cards and it casn hurt when people appear to care less. Think about the people who you would expect cards from. Do they show they care in other ways or are they 100% not interested?

I like cards so I send lots. I have a birthday calendar and weddings/new baby are written on it straight away. I wouldn't remember everyone's birthday so I write them down. Isn't difficult if it is something you want to do.

Uppermid Sun 06-Jan-13 23:21:34

Oldpeculiar think we're going to have to agree to disagree. I think it rude and thoughtless to use Christmas paper for a child's birthday present!

fluffypillow Sun 06-Jan-13 23:31:56

My DDs birthday is on the 4th Jan. This would piss me off too. Kids birthdays are special.


BackforGood Sun 06-Jan-13 23:40:01

YABU. I can't see how he received 6 cards if "everyone" forgot ? confused

Generally, the invitation to the party acts as a reminder, and then people bring them with them.

.....that is, if you invited them to help you celebrate his very special day..... ?

MyBaby1day Mon 07-Jan-13 09:44:48

YANBU, they should have remembered, I'de be angry too. Hope he enjoyed it anyway and at least he won't understand what's happened.

IsabelleRinging Mon 07-Jan-13 09:58:59

It doesn't matter that the baby is only one and he won't know. Sending a card to a baby is about acknowledging the parents/family as well as as the child, especially a milestone birthday as the first is. I remember being hurt when my dd was one and close family couldn't make her birthday party. The party wasn't for her in particular as she was still a baby, it was about celebrating as a family the changes and steps made in that first year. It doesn't become about the child until they are a little older.

On the note of using Christmas paper as wrapping, it just shows a lack of thought, a carefully chosen and bought paper shows care put into the present, a piece of leftover paper demonstrates that it was an afterthought. That is all.

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