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to hate the expression "the boy"

(67 Posts)
PetersburgPrincess Thu 03-Jan-13 02:19:09

I'm not even sure why.

My friend uses it all the time - "Me and the boy are going out tonight"

Or I see a photo on facebook of a couple entitled "Me and the boy"

I don't know why it annoys me so much when I see it but it really does.

AmberLeaf Thu 03-Jan-13 02:21:19

Relating to her partner/husband? or her child?

'Lil man' boils my piss.

Beaverfeaver Thu 03-Jan-13 02:22:23

I kind if understand where your coming from. But people do have weird things they call eachother.

I think it's hard to always know how eat to address DP in a public sense when you are both grown ups and not just friends as Boyfriend and Girlfriend just don't sound right.

I have a terrible hatred of 'partner' and 'other half'

myfirstkitchen Thu 03-Jan-13 02:22:52

It's gross. Also 'hubs'.

PetersburgPrincess Thu 03-Jan-13 02:23:58

I mean partner AmberLeaf

I don't like 'lil man' either though.

Beaverfeaver Thu 03-Jan-13 02:24:30

I also find it weird when unmarried couples refer to Escher as Husband/Wife

Beaverfeaver Thu 03-Jan-13 02:25:03

Escher = each other

Damn iphone

PetersburgPrincess Thu 03-Jan-13 02:25:25

Maybe I find it a little demeaning?? I'm not sure.

I just don't know why my friend can't say, "Me and Alex are going out tonight."

firawla Thu 03-Jan-13 02:29:31

I would have presumed she meant her son if she says that!
but each to their own, if she means it affectionately and he likes it? then no harm done.
wouldn't say it myself - do say hubby though which i know most people on here hate

judefawley Thu 03-Jan-13 02:29:39

Lil man/hubs/hubby/bubs are all offensive.

The boy is just ridiculous and puerile.

barbiecollector Thu 03-Jan-13 02:29:47

My SIL used to use the term to describe her DB (my DH). She'd call and ask: "is the boy there?". God, it used to annoy me.

nooka Thu 03-Jan-13 02:38:59

dh calls ds 'the boy' sometimes as a term of affection. He is our only son and a boy, so it seems reasonable in that context. A bit odd for an adult, but I've never heard it in that context. I think that in general couply nick names should only be used in private.

OrangeLily Thu 03-Jan-13 03:02:44

Oh dear you will all hate me as I occasionally refer to DH as 'the boy' and 'Hubster' grinabsolutely naff and love it. (I did meet him when he was still a teenager tho!) I am one to give people a ridiculous pet name, as is DH.

For example, we both have pet names for our sisters and have separate pet names for each others sisters too.

deleted203 Thu 03-Jan-13 03:07:33

I do have to say, I think I'd vomit if you cheesily referred to 'the Hubster' in front of me.......

PurplePidjChickIsNotTheMessiah Thu 03-Jan-13 03:17:59

I once worked with a black South African chef who yelled at me for going in to his kitchen and saying to the all male staff "Alright, boys?" Apparently boy was what the whites called the black slaves and he was offended blush

LuluMai Thu 03-Jan-13 04:07:55

I used it for my son! grin better than little man or wee man etc!

MammaTJ Thu 03-Jan-13 05:14:41

My SIL used to use the term to describe her DB (my DH). She'd call and ask: "is the boy there?". God, it used to annoy me.

barbiecollector, used to? Did you kill her with a spade and bury her under patio for this terrible crime?

noteventhebestdrummer Thu 03-Jan-13 05:27:26

And did the boy help you??

My boy is doing the rounds on FB (wonders again why these people are on my FB) also referring to partner, vom provoking.

barbiecollector Thu 03-Jan-13 06:24:14

barbiecollector, used to? Did you kill her with a spade and bury her under patio for this terrible crime?

Ha, ha! I wish grin. She is still alive, but we don't speak to her anymore.

ripsishere Thu 03-Jan-13 06:30:16

I call my DD the girl. Is that as bad? she is a girl and the only one here.

HarkTheHattifattnerSing Thu 03-Jan-13 06:34:48

my PIL refer to my husband as "The Lad". - He is 45 years old FFS!

barbiecollector Thu 03-Jan-13 06:35:04

I don't think it is the same when you are referring to your actual child. I call my DS 'my boy'.

barbiecollector Thu 03-Jan-13 06:35:34

"The Lad". That's quite sweet, I like that.

mummyspice Thu 03-Jan-13 06:52:28

My MIL calls anyone's ds 'the boy'...makes my blood boil. I gave DS a name why can't she bloody use it. Doesn't call my DD 'the girl' for some reason. When talking about DH's childhood she regresses to calling him the boy as well. Can understand saying 'my boy' as it sounds affectionate but 'the boy' sounds impersonal and like she can't be bothered to remember anyone's name.

misterwife Thu 03-Jan-13 07:13:57

My wife calls me 'husband' and I call her 'wife'...

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 03-Jan-13 07:14:27

I really like being called bubs and boo and such blush my dc also have nicknames chicken and munch

The boy and lil man are awful though.

noddyholder Thu 03-Jan-13 07:19:08

My dp is my partner and I refer to him as such. What do you suggest I call him?

captainBeaky Thu 03-Jan-13 07:20:42

I hava a fb friend who does this too. Also calls niece and nephew 'the king' and 'queen'.

niceupthedance Thu 03-Jan-13 07:24:46

Was just about to say, king and queen for boyfriend and girlfriend is the worst offender I've seen. Just wow.

everlong Thu 03-Jan-13 07:28:50

We call ds (13) the boy <shrug> about him and to him.

It's fine. It's said affectionately. What's to do with it?

VBisme Thu 03-Jan-13 07:31:35

I have a feeling that the narrator in "diary of a call girl", referred to her boyfriend as "the boy", so since then I've always thought it was v v naff and a bit affected.
Not the same when used for children obviously!

captainBeaky Thu 03-Jan-13 07:34:02

everlong she wasn't talking about naming children. She calls her OH the boy.

It's what grandad Tumble calls Mr Tumble grin

SantasNaughtySack Thu 03-Jan-13 07:42:43

It's slightly better than 'Manshape' <shudder>

Proudnscaryvirginmary Thu 03-Jan-13 07:43:12

Gives me the rage too and I also can't put my finger on why. Also hate the many smug unfunny female columnists who routinely refer to their family members as 'the husband' and 'the daughter'.

everlong Thu 03-Jan-13 08:16:13

I know captain
I was responding to the title.

'The Boy' for a partner is just weird. We call our son The Boy all the time though.

Meggymoodle Thu 03-Jan-13 08:29:52

The Boy is what Belle de Jour, a "high class" call girl, uses to describe her boyfriend in her diaries. I'm not sure that does anything the recommend the term.

chris481 Thu 03-Jan-13 08:30:14

"boy was what the whites called the black slaves"

You should have said servants, not slaves. Slavery was abolished in South Africa in 1834. However "boy" is an offensive term when applied to black men by whites.

peaceandlovebunny Thu 03-Jan-13 09:57:06

my mum sometimes calls my dad 'the lad'. he's eighty.

TheFallenMadonna Thu 03-Jan-13 10:02:06

I sometimes call my 64 yo mother's 65 yo partner her lover. Just for effect really.

DH and I call our DS and DD the boy and the girl. Just between us.

LotsaTuddles Thu 03-Jan-13 10:06:48

I call my DP a very odd name, it's not fault though. When his niece was small, she couldn't say his name, so started calling him something completely different, it's stuck, and we all call him it because if you say to her, oh uncle(Tuddles' DP) asked you to get him something, she looks at you as if you've grown another head, I think she's actually forgotten his name

shellshock7 Thu 03-Jan-13 16:05:49

My MIL calls my DS 'the boy' and 'a boy', I hate it and my DH has started doing it too so i cant get away from it. It is so impersonal and lacking in affection. Our boy is ok I guess but anything else gggrrrrr

FobblyWoof Thu 03-Jan-13 16:09:24

YANBU. I hate it. It sound very possessive and patronising. Like if my DP called me "the mrs". <<shudder>>

ComposHat Thu 03-Jan-13 16:12:22

I really dislike 'partner' it sounds so clinical and businesslike.

The only people who should be allowed to use the term 'partner' are those who actually have a civil partnership and cowboys.

I prefer to use the term 'live-in lover' it sounds like something you'd only see in a tabloid newspaper and has a slightly louche and lascivious ring to it.

sweetkitty Thu 03-Jan-13 16:12:31

We sometimes call DS the boy, but he is our only son and has three sisters, he is the only boy, DP is not a boy and u wouldn't call him one.

He also gets called "the wee man" that's a Scottish thing though, DD3 is the "wee lady" as it suits her as she thinks she is a lady.

whois Thu 03-Jan-13 16:18:05

In relation to a partner it's really icky. The boy, the boyf, the chap. Ugh ugh fucking ugg does he not have a name???

In relation to your child I think it's ok as they are actually a boy.

BodyOfEeyore Thu 03-Jan-13 16:21:27

We refer to ds as the boy.

i call my dh husband sometimes tbh i cant believe he married me and i like that we're husband and wife now he also calls me wifey sometimes. no harm in it, we're both happy and dont do it that often

BarredfromhavingStella Thu 03-Jan-13 16:27:05

In relation to a partner it sounds awful but for a child I think it's fine. I used to call my brother our kid which I suppose some would find irritating.......

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Thu 03-Jan-13 16:31:12

have never heard anybody refer to their male partner as 'the boy' confused how odd.

I am currently pg with a boy, name has been kinda decided but until he is born he is known as either 'Boy' or 'The Boy'.

ComposHat Thu 03-Jan-13 16:33:31

I do know someone who referred to their boyfriend as 'the boyf' but then I always thought she was a colossal twat anyway, so it was just added twat fuel to the twat fire.

Greyhound Thu 03-Jan-13 16:33:35

It reminds me of a friend who told me that her brother was her parents' favourite child because "he is the boy". Another friend told me the same thing about her brother. I was appalled and sorry for both of them.

There's something a bit cloying about "the boy" being used in the context you describe. I also hate "my wee man".

KellyElly Thu 03-Jan-13 16:42:18

Men who refer to their partners as 'my girl' makes me want to barf as well.

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 03-Jan-13 16:44:42

I use it for my son, he is often "the boy". I like it

Never for DH though. He's a man, not a boy.

I call DH by his name, or "Dude"

littlemisssarcastic Thu 03-Jan-13 18:10:36

The one that makes me irrationally angry is when parents (usually mothers ime) call their adult sons 'my baby boy'.
Why oh why would you refer to a fully grown man or woman as your 'baby boy' or 'baby girl', even in front of their friends and no, it's definitely not done as a joke. hmm

Hobbitation Thu 03-Jan-13 18:13:03

Quite like "the boy" in reference to a son, but towards a partner I find it odd. A bit like calling one another mummy and daddy. confused

rhondajean Thu 03-Jan-13 18:13:51

I sometimes call DH "my boy" but erm that's different surely?

ClippedPhoenix Thu 03-Jan-13 18:19:57

If I called my DP "The Boy" he'd think I'd been on the vodka grin and probably reply "It's me DP not DS, are you alright?" I'm sure he'd also think I was being a bit derotatory. If he called me "The Girl" I wouldn't be impressed either.

I do however call shout down to my DS when he has mates over and they're making a racket "BOYS"!

ClippedPhoenix Thu 03-Jan-13 18:20:37

derrogatory!

mummytotwins Thu 03-Jan-13 18:25:55

I refer to my son as boy, as in "are you alright boy" etc I do wonder if it's a Welsh thing in my case as my parents do it and it's only now living in England that people comment on it?!?

EllenParsons Thu 03-Jan-13 18:46:54

Yanbu. I know people who do this and I also find it a bit cringey, though I'm not really sure why!

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 03-Jan-13 19:59:25

I call my younger brother (mid teens) the boy! I would never call my DP it!

TarkaTheOtter Thu 03-Jan-13 20:10:06

My MIL calls my DH "my boy" when talking to him. As in, "how are you my boy". Makes me want to say "FFS at 30 he's my his own man". She infantilises him in other ways so I think that makes me a bit sensitive.

marlboroughlts Thu 03-Jan-13 20:14:44

I always thought it was a Welsh thing - lots of friends refer to someone as "the boy" or "boy". It's affectionate more than anything else.

Damash12 Thu 03-Jan-13 20:21:08

Aargh referring to baby as bubba! Makes me cringe...

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