to ask how old you were. . .

(261 Posts)
wtf1981 Thu 03-Jan-13 00:37:28

when you became a mother for the first time/when you had your other children if you've got more than one?
More of an 'I know I am being nosy'!
Am 31,married to a lovely man and becoming keen but feel scared still,which I hope is normal,but time is ticking!
Please share your experiences (ages/fears)!
Thanks smile

WorraLiberty Thu 03-Jan-13 00:40:38

DS1 = Nearly 23

DS2 = Just turned 30

DS3 = 33.7

katykuns Thu 03-Jan-13 00:41:20

26, have two girls, one 6yrs and one nearly 8mo. First DD was from a previous relationship to an asshole and now with my lovely DP.

Tallalime Thu 03-Jan-13 00:41:37

I was 28 when DD was born, she was 5 today (yesterday) now planning DC 2.

GordonsAlive Thu 03-Jan-13 00:42:29

Dd - 31
Ds - 37

TraineeBabyCatcher Thu 03-Jan-13 00:43:10

14 when I got pregnant. 15 when I had him.
Not had anymore, he's 5 now and not likely to have more till I have finished my degree, been working for a while and me and dp have married.

My biggest worry is a big age gap affecting the relationship between my children- but, not much I can do as the time is not right to have another.

DD ~ was 24 about to turn 25

Now 28 and have been ttc #2 for nearly a year sad

Ranthambore Thu 03-Jan-13 00:43:38

DS- 27
DD- 30

curiousuze Thu 03-Jan-13 00:43:52

Just had 1st child at 37, no problem conceiving and all went well. Might even have another in a couple of years...

bruffin Thu 03-Jan-13 00:51:57

Ds was induced on my 33rd birthday but took 2 more days.

Dd a week after my 35th

ripsishere Thu 03-Jan-13 00:52:24

DD was born when I was 37 and DH 44.
She's 11 and I've know since I was first diagnosed with pregnancy she'd be an only child.
She is more than happy with that. DH would have liked 4 or 5, but since he saw me spew and generally feel wretched, not to mention the 9 or so MCs prior to DD and the suture to keep her in place, he's accepted it too.

RyleDup Thu 03-Jan-13 00:53:20

Dc 1: 38
Dc 2: 40

Godlessdomestic Thu 03-Jan-13 00:54:42

DD1 - 21 (almost)
DD2 - 6 (almost)

I am 43 (but my small person thinks I am 27.. Shhhh don't tell her).

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 03-Jan-13 00:56:12

DS1 - 32
DS2 - 34
DS3 - 37

DD1: 21
DD2: 25

Two different dads. I think thats me finished. though we would love a boy

lisad123everybodydancenow Thu 03-Jan-13 00:58:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fanjango Thu 03-Jan-13 00:59:55

Ds1 : 26
Dd1 + ds2 : 31
Dd 2 : 33
Had 2 MMC's prior to this at 22 yo.

HoneyDragon Thu 03-Jan-13 01:00:12

Dd- 31

DS1- 30

abitlikemollflanders Thu 03-Jan-13 01:01:55

DS at 30
DD at 33

2.8 years between them. We had wanted around 2 yrs but had 2 miscarriages inbetween.
TBH, at 31 and with the right partner, I would get cracking if I were you. I don't think people talk enough about how fertility declines rapidly in your 30s and I have a couple of friends who kept putting it off and have unfortunately left it too late. This definitely prompted me to get on with it! however it still took a year to conceive my dd and this was with fertility monitors etc.

Completely normal to feel nervous/scared. Are you more scared about having g children or never having them?

BacardiNCoke Thu 03-Jan-13 01:02:06

I had dd1 when I was 24 and dd2 when I was 28. Not having any more.

Although I did become DSD's primary carer also when I was 21, (she was 9).

Dd1 - 23 when got pregnant 24 when I had her
dd2 - 26

SinisterBuggyMonth Thu 03-Jan-13 01:06:57

34 for DS

However acquired a DSS at 32

And thats enough for me

duffybeatmetoit Thu 03-Jan-13 01:07:12

DD - 44 (44 years and 10 months to be precise). Big surprise, sailed through it. Just wish I had been able to have another but menopause kicked in shortly after so I was very lucky to have my darling DD.

surprisinglygood Thu 03-Jan-13 01:08:06

Had DS at 19. No plans for any more, but I'm 33 now so I have my options open.

abitlikemollflanders has a good point, most of my friends who are a bit older than me have struggled with ttc or have had to have fewer dc than they'd like because they started families so late.

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding Thu 03-Jan-13 01:10:00

19yo when i had my pfb
22yo when i had dd2
24yo when i had dd3
26yo when i had dd4

duffybeatmetoit Thu 03-Jan-13 01:11:49

Godless my dd (5) thinks I'm 24..... I won't tell if you don't grin

Startail Thu 03-Jan-13 01:14:01

30 and 33

DevaDiva Thu 03-Jan-13 01:15:15

DD 25, DS 28 grin

DS- gave birth a week after my 22nd birthday

DD-gave birth a month before my 24th birthday

with a MC in between.

DS - I was 33 and a half (very important, the half )
DD - I was 36

I met DH when we were 19. We married at 28.
I was terrified of giving birth, but the old Biological Clock started when I was 31. I didn't wake up one day and think "I want one". It was more "It wouldn't be too bad"
And as the boffins hadn't come up with any better way of having them...

Wasn't too bad. I had a second one wink

MammaTJ Thu 03-Jan-13 01:19:39


DD2-37, a week and a half before my 38th birthday

DS-39, two days after my birthday.

10 1/2 year gap, 54 week gap! I do extremes. grin

skratta Thu 03-Jan-13 01:19:47

DD1/2 (twins):31
DD3: 34

My oldest friend to have a child had her first son aged 41, and another DS aged 43, with the help of ivf.

LeftyLucy Thu 03-Jan-13 01:21:20

DS1 21
DS2 40!

Lueji Thu 03-Jan-13 01:22:31


And I am most shocked at Godlessdomestic:
"DD2 - 6 (almost)"


Tallalime Thu 03-Jan-13 01:23:33

How are you folks managing to keep your children in the dark about your real ages???

My DD regularly informs me that I am 32... and that she will be sad when I die because I am old.

Oh and when she has a child I will be a granny... and when she's a mum she's not going to do "normal mum stuff" she plans to "just sit around and my child's can hoover"

She's the most delightful little weirdo I know, but I wish she thought I was 25 sad

DD1 - 33. Currently working on TTC no 2. I'm now 36 and if it doesn't happen, we're seriously considering adoption, rather than IVF or anything. I've always wanted to adopt. I'm not very good at pregnancy/birth....

FortyFacedFuckers Thu 03-Jan-13 01:24:10

I am now 27 and have been TTC #2 for almost 4 years

Ahhh. DD is convinced I am 23. Possibly the ropiest 23 year old you've ever seen, but she's too young to argue! smile

IneedAgoldenNickname Thu 03-Jan-13 01:27:10

Ds1, 10 days of of being 20
Ds2, 22.

I'd love another one (or 2) but not sure I'll ever meet/trust a man again sad

And I am most shocked at Godlessdomestic: "DD2 - 6 (almost)"
Made me laugh too!

twinklesparkles Thu 03-Jan-13 01:41:34

I was 19, almost 20 when ds was born

Ill be just over 25 when dd is born smile

smilingismyfavourite Thu 03-Jan-13 01:44:21

DD1 33
DD2 34
We ttc for 2 years for DD1 but after that it obviously clicked as there are only 15 months between DDs

MerryChristMoose Thu 03-Jan-13 01:50:41

Married at 21
DS born two weeks before I turned 38. He was 1 on 27 Dec.
18th wedding anniversary this year smile.

80sMum Thu 03-Jan-13 01:51:35

DS1 22
DS2 & DS3 24
DD 25

WillYuleDoTheFandango Thu 03-Jan-13 01:52:41

DS - 29

It was only 3 weeks ago and I can't believe I waited so long.

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Jan-13 01:52:41

Ds 19
Dd 22

2 weeks to the day off 20 when DD was born. 21 now and thinking about another.

MalibuStac Thu 03-Jan-13 01:56:21

DS @ 19 and DD @ 30 (just before my 31st) also have DSS who cane into my life @ 25. Having no more :D

I was 23 for DS1, 18 months of trying!
I was 24 for DD, started trying a month after DS1 was born, theres only a 14 month gap so didnt take long. Did the same when DD was born.
I was 28 for DS2.. 3 and a half year gap - feels huge!

I really want one more, DS2 is 6 months now, but I refuse to have anymore after 30, thats my cut off point, so I have the next few months to concieve or I'm sticking with 3.

Dd:- 23
Ds1:- 25
ds2:- 28

Good age gaps. They all pretty much look after each other, play well and help each other with reading etc. I would maybe like another, but worry age gap too much and I am 32 now so higher risks... Not just material age, but paternal age to consider too.

SoleSource Thu 03-Jan-13 02:05:19

DS1 9
DS2 117

OpenToPersuasion Thu 03-Jan-13 02:15:53

DD1 28
DD2 30
DD3 32
DS 35

Am 41 now.

WishI hadn't stopped, tbh.

firawla Thu 03-Jan-13 02:22:54

21, 23, 24

26 now and having a break for couple of years but hope I have one more before 30.

I didnt really have any fears but had been married few years by then and never really had a lot of 'freedom' in the first place, so less of an adjustment I think.

But if you are with the right person and you know you want kids, then personally i would go for it, as theres never a right time anyway - it all just works out

Moominlandmidwinter Thu 03-Jan-13 02:26:18

DD1 21
DD2 23
DD3 27
DD4 32

I had first two with ex-H, second two with current DH. Would love one more, but only if it happened by 35. I'm 33 today. Don't think DH would agree anyway!

AlfalfaMum Thu 03-Jan-13 02:26:52

dd1 24
dd2 29
dd3 31

I started quite early, but I always knew I definitely wanted kids.
I know it's different for everyone, but I don't feel comfortable with the pressure society puts on womankind to have kids. I have a lovely friend who's the same age as me, who just doesn't really want to have kids. The problem is, her mum wants her to have them, and she feels a general expectation, and she ends up doubting herself every so often. There needs to be more emphasis on individual choice, in my opinion.
I hope my confused rambling makes sense!

What aspect of having kids scares you OP?

MrRected Thu 03-Jan-13 02:32:43

DS1 = 27
DS2 = 30
DD1 = 33

GoodKingWenSOLOslas Thu 03-Jan-13 02:36:30

34 with Ds and almost 43 with my Dd.
It wasn't a choice to have them so late; my fertility was questionable and I was in fact, about to start IVF when I fell pg for the first time, miscarried sad and two years later had Ds. I seemed to get pg easier the older I got!

Ds- 18
Dd1- 19
Dd2- 23
And no more!!! I would love another several but dd2 was a surprise and really I am not well enough to have any more which is why we planned 2 not 3. In an ideal world where I didnt have to battle with my body everyday to do everything I would quite happily have at least 6 4 grin

Lavenderhoney Thu 03-Jan-13 03:44:16

Well didn't meet dh til late so a bit older than you! I think if you want to, go for it. I know a few people who waited til the time was right and either had trouble ttc or wanted more but early menopause kicked in.

Your life does change ( how I wish I had a pound for every time someone said that) but for the bettersmile there's not much you can't do with dc in tow.

DS - 36
DD - 38

My advice would be if you know you want them, go for it ASAP, you just don't know if you will encounter any problems..

Good luck

HeffalumpsAndWoozles Thu 03-Jan-13 03:49:26

DD1 - 23
DD2 - 25

I'm 26 now, hoping for one more before I hit 30 but DH inwards working on.

If you want children go for it, there's never really a 'right' time but you do just adapt, and yes life changes but on the whole its definitely a change for the better.

Good luck smile

Tigerbomb Thu 03-Jan-13 04:05:56

DS - 20 and a bit
DD - 24

A MC when I was 39 and 41

Wished I had continued TTC - now it's too late

FellatioNelson Thu 03-Jan-13 04:21:10




bedhaven Thu 03-Jan-13 04:29:39

DD 3 days after my 38th birthday, conceived within a month of meeting my now DH.
DS when 39 and 9 months.
This all happened just as I was resigning myself to the idea of never having children as I hadn't met the right man! I think it's more knackering now than it would have been earlier but I feel very lucky to have reached my dreams.(whilst having a pretty wild time getting there!)

TapirAroundTheChristmasTree Thu 03-Jan-13 04:29:53




LuluMai Thu 03-Jan-13 04:37:52

Ds 25

DS at 34
DD at 38

No more thanks!! Am 39 now

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Thu 03-Jan-13 05:35:06

DS1: 21
DS2: 23 (currently heavily pregnant with him!)

TobyLerone Thu 03-Jan-13 05:37:46

DS 22
DD 23

Planning another this year. I'm 35.

HRMumness Thu 03-Jan-13 06:01:30

DD - 31

DH and I had just bought our fixer upper house and thought we would start TTC as I was worried it might take awhile. I fell pregnant within the first week or two of being in the house shock. Am planning on TTC #2 sometime a the latter part of this year as I want to have both before I hit 35. Then, the shop is shutting!

Pilfette Thu 03-Jan-13 06:02:06

DD1 18
DD2 21

Currently ttc again at the age of 35.

thekitchenfairy Thu 03-Jan-13 06:09:12

DS1. A week before 29th birthday

DS2. At 32

Would have loved a third but it hasn't happened for us and eldest is soon to be 10.

DS - 27
DD - 29

Izpie Thu 03-Jan-13 06:25:10

DD1 - 35
DD2 - 38
Both conceived within a few months if trying, in fact took less time to conceive DD2 than DD1. Also was lucky enough to have easy pregnancies and problem free births.

Fishlaar Thu 03-Jan-13 06:28:36

TTC 23
DD1 26
MC 28
DD2 29

Arachnophobe Thu 03-Jan-13 06:29:21

DC1 = 24
DC2 = 27
DC3 = 33
First took three years from start to finish inc. a mc, second just six months (used the leftover clomid from first time) and third five years all 'clomid' babies had to beg and get a second opinion for it third time around.
My older sib had hers at 32 and 36 and conceived first cycle of trying with both :-)

Ds1 - 26

Ds2 - 28

(19mth age gap)

Ds3 - 33

Ds4 - about to be born at 34

(15mth age gap)

Didn't feel right having ds3 maybe feel 'left out' with large age gap and ds1&2 being so close both in age and bond.

Arachnophobe Thu 03-Jan-13 06:44:46

Nb. For DC2 I ttc 'au naturel' for six months then popped the clomid - impatient.

SomersetONeil Thu 03-Jan-13 06:44:59

DS - 35

DD - 36

Just turned 39 and I'm done. I find 2 very easy, good NT children Hard Work, so it wouldn't be fair on anyone!

Loveweekends10 Thu 03-Jan-13 06:46:12

DD1 33
DD2 38

I started trying earlier (at 30) but I had 3 miscarriages before my first and 1 between. It was not a smooth path for me by any means.

So don't delay!

DD 28

DT's 31

BlueyDragon Thu 03-Jan-13 06:52:20

DD - 31
DS - 35

There are just over 3 years between the two, it looks like 4 because of birthdays. I reckon there's never a perfect time to have a baby, when everything is somehow magically "in place", and Mother Nature can play some tricks - DD took a bit of encouragement, so we were a bit surprised when DS was easy.

Scared is normal, if you think about it, given the changes DC bring, but it's doable and there is always MN for advice/support/grounding when it feels like it's not. Second time around is less scary than the first IME! Good luck OP.

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 03-Jan-13 06:57:32

Had dc1 at 28, dc2 at 30, with 1 mc before dc1 and two more in between dc1 and 2.

Am 35 now and got pregnant accidentally last year, but had another mc. Are going to give it a last go.

You can never really know how things will go fertility-wise. You might get pg easily well into your 40s, or you might struggle in your 20s. I have always got pregnant very easily indeed - it's the staying pregnant that's the trouble (and a genetic clotting issue that hasn't manifested otherwise has turned up as the reason). At 31 I think I wouldn't want to be hanging around - but I felt like that at 27 when we first conceived. We weren't in an 'ideal situation', but we knew we could support any dcs we had and get through. If we'd waited for everything to be perfect, we'd have waited several more years, I think, and perhaps had even more trouble having our two.

BettyStogs Thu 03-Jan-13 07:02:19

37 for DS, will be ttc 2nd this year so will probably be 39 if all goes well.

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 03-Jan-13 07:02:45

Oh, and every single time I got pg, even though all were wanted and even the surprise conception filled me with delight once I was over the shock, I had a point of thinking 'oh shit oh shit oh shit, what have I done?' Being scared is absolutely normal, to the point that I think it's inevitable - but not a reason not to do it! smile

RiddoTheRedNosedReindeer Thu 03-Jan-13 07:02:46

DD - 28

DS - 8 days before 34th birthday

Dolallytats Thu 03-Jan-13 07:35:17

DS-34 (week before my 35th birthday!!)
Bump-am expecting No3, will be 39 when he/she is born.

They do all have the same dad, we just had to wait a long time for No2 to make an appearance. I would have loved all my children to be close in age, but it wasn't meant to be. I am grateful I got them all eventually...we thought DD was going to be an only child!!

cutestgirls Thu 03-Jan-13 07:36:25

dd1 at 20
dd2 at 23

I was 28 when I had dd she is now 2.5

KitCat26 Thu 03-Jan-13 07:40:13

DD1 26
DD2 28 There is just under 18mths between them.

My family have a history of early menopause and DH is 18 years older than me so we thought we'd better crack on with it.

perplexedpirate Thu 03-Jan-13 07:41:05

Am 35 now, no plans for any more.

ll31 Thu 03-Jan-13 07:41:28

36 ds, only child

gimmecakeandcandy Thu 03-Jan-13 07:44:18

Get on with it! Don't wait! I had mine in my early and mid thirties but in hindsight wish I had tried a little sooner.

Dc1 20
Dc2 (due in 5 months) 22

pantaloons Thu 03-Jan-13 07:47:48

dd1 22
ds 24
dd2 26

I was very lucky and got caught the first month of trying with all 3.

Just one LO at the moment - 25, but I turned 26 a week later! OH is 35.

Obsessed with having more. If OH will let me.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 03-Jan-13 07:49:43

DS - 32
DD - 35

DS1 - 34
DS2 - 38

cq Thu 03-Jan-13 08:00:11

DS 33

DD 35

Would have loved more but DD born with v scary heart defect and we don't like the statistics of it happening againhmm. She's 100% fine now though.

tumbletumble Thu 03-Jan-13 08:06:29

DS1 31
DD 33
DS2 35

Theicingontop Thu 03-Jan-13 08:09:29

I had DS when I was 20. Going to TTC for number two when I lose a bit of weight, so hopefully we have a nice 2-3 year gap.

I'd like to say that being young doesn't mean you'll sail through it, I had the most horrific pregnancy with SPD and constant nausea. They say the younger you are the more energy you'll have to cope with it, pffft. I was exhausted.

Hulababy Thu 03-Jan-13 08:11:42

29, but started ttc at 26. Now 39 and not been able to have another.

StrictlySalsaDancingDiva Thu 03-Jan-13 08:31:42

DS - 27
DD1 - 29
DD2 - 34

Am 41 now, and watching OBEM last night still makes me broody! However, won't be having any more.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Thu 03-Jan-13 08:40:30

I had DD1 at 19, then DS1 at 23, I'm 29 now and had a miscarriage last year and would love another baby but DH is not keen right now.

DS 16
Dd1 18
Dd2 23
Dd3 30
Dd4 31

Now 33 and not allowed anymore!

Groovee Thu 03-Jan-13 08:44:29

Dd 22
Ds 24

celebmum Thu 03-Jan-13 08:51:13

26 with DS pfb
28 with DD..

2yrs 6m exactly between em grin

Mandy21 Thu 03-Jan-13 08:57:33

I agree with other posters that you never know what is around the corner so if you are ready, have the chat and if your H is ready too, go for it!

Having said that, I'd also do a few things first - have some spectacular holidays (although you can still have lovely holidays with children, its not the same as when you are just a couple), enjoy one another and cement your relationship. There is no bigger test of a marriage than having children wink. I'd also save if you can - so you can take a long maternity leave, get everything in place before you have a baby because when you account for lost earnings, childcare etc, babies are expensive!

DD1 & DS - I was 33 (took 10 months to conceive)
DD2 - I was 37 (took 18 months to conceive)

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontHaveAtv Thu 03-Jan-13 09:00:59

dd 1 - 21
dd 2 - 23
dd 3 - 26
twins - 27
ds 2 - 29
ds 3 - 30

TheSecretCervixDNCOP Thu 03-Jan-13 09:01:31

22 when I had DD, and depending on when this one arrives I will be or will nearly be 24. smile

D- 23

Wanted number 2, got married to DH, started TTC at 25, I'm now 30 and still TTC with 9 MCs under my belt and a blood clotting disorder diagnosis...

Get started if you want children as the road is not always smooth...

mumof4sons Thu 03-Jan-13 09:12:20

DS1 28
DS2 30
DS3 32
DS4 35

Diddydollydo Thu 03-Jan-13 09:14:12

DS 37
DD 40

OddBoots Thu 03-Jan-13 09:14:36

21 and 25 for my two
Gave birth to surrogate children aged 23, 28 and 29.

DD1 - 26
DD2 - 28

Gimmeecoffee Thu 03-Jan-13 09:15:34

With DD I was 17. Two years on I'd love another but DP is too sensible stubborn. I know he's right though

peaceandlovebunny Thu 03-Jan-13 09:17:20

24. i only have the one baby. she's 30.
in those days, we had to carry a card about our pregnancy, wherever we went. mine said 'A+' at the top, which was affirming but was really only my blood group, and under that positive message it had the words 'elderly primagravida'.
take note, you ladies just beginning to think about a family at the age of 38. elderly at 24.

LegoAcupuncture Thu 03-Jan-13 09:18:49

22, 24 and 28

DS - 22
DD - 25.

No more for me I'm glad the baby days are over!

MoppingMummy Thu 03-Jan-13 09:25:34

Dd1 two days before turning 23

Ds 26

Dd2 30

3 is enough for us!!!

HecatePropolos Thu 03-Jan-13 09:25:48

I can never remember without getting a bit of paper and working it out!

24 or 25 I think. and then my second 15 months later.

sammysaidso Thu 03-Jan-13 09:27:59

Had ds when I was 27.

roughtyping Thu 03-Jan-13 09:29:10

I was 17. He's 9 now, I'm getting married this year. Don't know if we'll have any more.

insancerre Thu 03-Jan-13 09:32:41

DS- 22
DD- 29 (had to be before I was 30 as I was convinced over 30 was too old to have a baby)

PilotRochester Thu 03-Jan-13 09:33:06

Ds1- 26
Ds2- 29
Ds3- 32

TheSecondComing Thu 03-Jan-13 09:33:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirBoobAlot Thu 03-Jan-13 09:33:18

18. Now 21, no plans for more in the foreseeable future, more because of my health than anything else. Because I am horrendously broody grin

Muminwestlondon Thu 03-Jan-13 09:34:47

DD1 - 33
DD2 - 36

I thought I was old when I became pregnant with DD1 but judging from the waiting room at the hospital and the ante natal class I was on the young side if anything. DDs are both teenagers and their classmates mums range in age from late twenties to fifties.

Theladyinpurple Thu 03-Jan-13 09:36:26

DS - 22
DD - 24

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 09:39:29

DS1 - 20
DS2 - 22
DD - 26

The boys are from my first marriage.

PoohBearsHole Thu 03-Jan-13 09:42:22

Dd 32
Ds 35

MushroomSoup Thu 03-Jan-13 09:42:29

DD1 26
DS 28
DD2 30
DD3 33

Only one so far, DS born 2 weeks before my 22nd birthday.

Piemistress Thu 03-Jan-13 09:45:03

DS - 37
DD - 39

shartsi Thu 03-Jan-13 09:45:30

29 and 31

Enigmosaurus Thu 03-Jan-13 09:47:35

DD1 - 22
DS1 - 23
DD2 - 24
DS2 - 26
DD3 - 27

uniqueatlast Thu 03-Jan-13 09:49:14

I was:
27 when I had DS
30 when I had DD.

Am 35 now and would love another but not sure i can face the financial struggle of Child care again.

TheFallenMadonna Thu 03-Jan-13 09:52:26

30, 33.

Masai Thu 03-Jan-13 10:00:30

I had DD1 when I was 22 and newly married to exdh who was 33
DD2 then came along when I was 25.

Im 40 now and best thing i ever did was to have them young.

But at the time i was horrified to be pregnant at what felt like my own stage of childhood still. It did set my career back. Then I got divorced and met/married DH who is 2 years younger than me at 38.

Life now is pretty good. Kids go to their dads every other weekend and school holidays and the DH and i gallivant like you wouldn't believe. When the kids are with us we are both super active parents with as much energy as our teenagers with quite similar interests. In comparison, exdh doesn't have the same energy and the kids do feel that sometimes.

My sister is in her 30s and putting off having kids as shes a Dr and wants to be a consultant before she has a family. It does worry her and we often talk about fertility rates etc.

My mother had me in her active 40s and shes in 80s now. Its heartbreaking to see her so frail and elderly but she is the worlds best mother and always has been.

However, I did always feel like I had an "old mum" when growing up. It didn't diminish the love or the fantastic parent she is, but I know she feels regret at having waited to settle down and have children.

So, two polar opposite situations.

Whose to say which is right or wrong?

Sarahplane Thu 03-Jan-13 10:04:16

pregnant at 19, dd was born just after I turned 20. had ds a few weeks before I was 27.

MonaLotte Thu 03-Jan-13 10:04:36

26 and 28

Lucy411 Thu 03-Jan-13 10:06:52


WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome Thu 03-Jan-13 10:07:05

Enigmosaurus Wow! I'd have loved to been part of a family like yours.

DS1 - 23
DC2 (if it sticks) - 26

milkymocha Thu 03-Jan-13 10:07:58

DS1 came 3 weeks after my 18th birthday, DS2 came 1 week before my 20th birthday!

No more babies for theforeseeable smile

rainbow2000 Thu 03-Jan-13 10:09:44

I was 22 having ds 1
23 ds2
35 ds3
36 ds4
38 ds5
Has a couple of mcs through this also.

ClaudiaWinklepants Thu 03-Jan-13 10:11:05

DD1 - 26
DD2 - 30

MadameJosephine Thu 03-Jan-13 10:11:37

DS - 25
DD - 41

(with a divorce, a new partner, 5 years ttc and 2 mc in between)

StressedoutMotherofTeens Thu 03-Jan-13 10:11:50

Had DD at 29 and DS at 31

amck5700 Thu 03-Jan-13 10:12:04

1st - 34
2nd - 35

Took over 2 years to conceive 1st then had 2nd 13 months later smile

HeathcliffeItsMe Thu 03-Jan-13 10:14:23

MMC - 24

ds1 one month into the age of 29
dd1 31
dd2 <one month into the age of 34

with DS i Had just held a newborn baby and said I want one, and low and behold, 9 months later I had my own.

go hold a baby op grin

Calabria Thu 03-Jan-13 10:18:32

I was three months shy of 43 when I had my daughter.

My husband was keen to have children so I came off the pill when we got married but at my age and with my family history I never in my wildest dreams expected to conceive.

I was hysterical when I did the positive test. I thought my life was over. And it was. But a whole new life took its place smile

MamaGeekChic Thu 03-Jan-13 10:19:48

Had DD at 24, she'll be 2 in a few months, if we decide to have another we'll start trying next summer.

MotherOfSuburbia Thu 03-Jan-13 10:22:40

22, 24, 26, 28. Sounds more organised than it was!

flowerytaleofNewYork Thu 03-Jan-13 10:22:55

31 and 33

I had pregnancies at 27 and 29 also.

ben5 Thu 03-Jan-13 10:23:31

ds1 was born November 2003. I turned 29 in Feb 2004
ds2 also a November baby but 2005. I turned 31 in Feb 2006

VitoCorleone Thu 03-Jan-13 10:24:47

I had my first son when i was 21

Had my second son when i was 25

FurryFox Thu 03-Jan-13 10:30:39

Dd1 - 23
Dd2 - 25
Dd3 - due in March, I'm 30.

3ismylot Thu 03-Jan-13 11:31:48

DS1- Born just 2 weeks after my 24th
DD & DS2 - Born 2 months after my 27th

Am now 30 and have been sterilised grin

ShamyFarrahCooper Thu 03-Jan-13 11:34:32

25 when I had my ds, who just turned 5. How fast it goes!

NervousReindeer Thu 03-Jan-13 11:35:59

Just had DD1 at 21. Would like to wait 5 years before another

CaHoHoHootz Thu 03-Jan-13 11:38:49

26, had three kids before I was 30. I think that was the perfect age for me. I met my partners at 18, I'd finished Uni at 21 and worked straight from college.

I was keen to have DC's before 30.

HDee Thu 03-Jan-13 11:38:55

29 - twins
31 - twins

No more babies for me.

CaHoHoHootz Thu 03-Jan-13 11:40:10

Calabria. That is wonderful thanks

dinkystinky Thu 03-Jan-13 11:45:52

DS1 - 29. DS2 - 32. Will be 36 when no 3 arrives.

diddl Thu 03-Jan-13 11:46:22

PFB 32
PSB 33

Fell pregnant quickly with both-think I had just one period each time.

motherinferior Thu 03-Jan-13 11:50:40

DD1 37 (a bit accidentally blush, had only been seeing her dad for a few months)

DD2 a few weeks after my 40th birthday.

wtf1981 Thu 03-Jan-13 12:03:57

Well,thank you very much ladies! 168 replies and all of them helpful and/or informative. Lovely to hear such a range of ages and experiences. Know there's never a perfect time and that you adapt and just cope. My mum says she'd have them for me if she could!
Just worried about birth really,more than anything,but my rational side tells me to get over that and just do it!
Know I want them so hopefully this will be the year. Thanks again for the info and good luck wishes!

blimey HDee!! here have some thanks and some wine and put your feet up!!

Lucy411 Thu 03-Jan-13 12:37:19

I'm pregnant with my second and worried about the birth and have done it once! It's natural it's known as the most painful things EVER but you do forget hence me worrying this time that I won't cope with the pain etc x

Lucy411 Thu 03-Jan-13 12:38:42

And hdee grin

Lucy411 Thu 03-Jan-13 12:39:33

*meant : 0

KellyEllyChristmasBelly Thu 03-Jan-13 12:40:19


Fakebook Thu 03-Jan-13 12:41:01

Dd - 24
Ds - 28

Tigresswoods Thu 03-Jan-13 12:41:05

We have this thread every week. I don't know why?

foofooyeah Thu 03-Jan-13 12:43:52

DS1 - 28
DS2 - 38

Oh hang on, Im 48 in 2 months time .... better be careful wink

CandyCrush Thu 03-Jan-13 12:51:18


(Total surprise, left by father, best thing I ever did)

Am 38 now. Ideal world I would have another but I don't think it's likely to happen.

Oldandcobwebby Thu 03-Jan-13 12:56:47

My wife was 44 and ten months when our scrumptious 10 week old daughter was born. I am 50 this year. We are both overjoyed!

BellaVita Thu 03-Jan-13 12:58:49

DS1 31

DS2 33

ElectricalHoHoHoBanana Thu 03-Jan-13 12:58:51

DD1 19 (she is now 25)
DD2 24 (she is now 20)

I left my ExH when DD2 was 8 and then met my present DH when she was 12.

I was sterilised when DD2 was little as i decided i didnt want any more babies....well i WANTED them but i had such severe pre eclampsia (actually fitting and in ICU with DD1) with both babies i thought it was safer. Also DD2 had quite obv disabilities and i just couldnt bring myself to think about having another child when i had her to loo after blissfully happy with new DH and wouldve loved another child. But DH made it very clear from the beginning he didnt want to be an older father (his dad died when DH was 21- just as he himself was becoming a man) and not be able to be there for them. So having the op saved any problems.....but god i wouldve loved another baby...

headfairy Thu 03-Jan-13 12:59:09

DS - 37
DD - 39.

headfairy Thu 03-Jan-13 12:59:31

oldandcobwebby awwwwww, congrats smile

headfairy Thu 03-Jan-13 13:00:45

wft The birth is really a teeny tiny bit of parenthood. Don't worry about it. Yes it hurts, yes it can be undignified, but if you're lucky it's done and dusted in under a day. Then the fun really starts grin

Joiningthegang Thu 03-Jan-13 13:00:47


Fillybuster Thu 03-Jan-13 13:02:18

I wasn't remotely 'ready' but had been married to dh for 3 years and bought a house, so he turned round and said "it's time" smile smile shock shock

I was pg as I turned 30, so

ds =31

dd1 = 34 (just)

dd2 = 37

The only one I was at all ready for was #3....even though I had always been adamant I was only going to have 2!

In my experience, you're never going to be ready, and its always going to be scary, right up until it happens. Because there's nothing you can do, really, to prepare for the impact, scariness, craziness and total wonderfulness of having a baby, so there comes a point where you take a deep breath and jump in!

Good luck smile

PS It the best three things I ever did.....

Myliferocks Thu 03-Jan-13 13:02:56


javotte Thu 03-Jan-13 13:04:50

DS : 25
DD1 : 28
DD2 : 31
DS was a surprise baby but it always felt very simple and natural.

PlainoldWitchesTit Thu 03-Jan-13 13:18:38

#1 ds at 18

#2 ds at 29

#3 ds at 39

And #dd soon..I'm now 41. I've been a mum for longer than I haven't, iyswim!

50shadesofknackered Thu 03-Jan-13 13:32:38

Dd1 - 30

Dd2 - she was born on my 33rd birthday grin


Dd - 19 pregnant born when 20.
Ds - 22 pregnant born when 23.
My dp was 32 and 35.

freddiefrog Thu 03-Jan-13 14:13:46

DD1 - 26
DD2 - 30

gordyslovesheep Thu 03-Jan-13 14:16:00

dd1 - 32
dd2 - 34
dd3 - 38

Bremusa Thu 03-Jan-13 14:18:17

dd1 - 19
dd2 - 34
ds1 - 36

BarredfromhavingStella Thu 03-Jan-13 14:20:05


BrainSurgeon Thu 03-Jan-13 14:23:16

DS - 36

saladfingers Thu 03-Jan-13 14:30:22

DD1 31
DD2 40
DS1 41
DS2 42

Twinklestarstwinklestars Thu 03-Jan-13 14:43:33

Ds1 - 23

Ds2 - 27

Ds3 - will be 31

needtogetoffsofa Thu 03-Jan-13 15:18:29

DS1 - 25
DD - 28
DS2 - 31

If I had my time again would wait 5 years to see a little bit more of life/career first - but that's in an ideal world!

Dd1 - 31
Ds - 32
Dd2 - 35

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo Thu 03-Jan-13 15:32:24

DS1 22 (now 3)
DS2 25 (12 days old)

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 03-Jan-13 15:33:39

35 and just the one for now

AWimbaWay Thu 03-Jan-13 15:39:37

wtf1981, just look how many of us have gone on to have more than one, birth can't be that bad!

Pinot Thu 03-Jan-13 15:42:10

Between the ages of 24 - 27 I had three children.

Raahh Thu 03-Jan-13 15:42:49

ds-day before I was 31 (he was 10 last Saturday)
dd1- 34
dd2 -38

There will be no more grin

milf90 Thu 03-Jan-13 15:44:38

Got pregnant at 20 and had him at 21. im now 22 and planning next baby in the next 18 months - 2 years.

ChocHobNob Thu 03-Jan-13 15:48:46


Not having anymore. They are more than enough for me grin

KissMyLuckyEgg Thu 03-Jan-13 15:56:58

DS - 35
DC2 - nearly 40 and still trying!

phlebas Thu 03-Jan-13 16:13:46

between the ages of 25 & 36 I had 4 children; dc4 was conceived when I was 35 which was my cut-off age.

Writehand Thu 03-Jan-13 16:16:57

DS1 - 36
DS2 - 39

grumblinalong Thu 03-Jan-13 16:22:28

DS1 -24
DS2 - 28
DD1 - 32

Needed 4 years between them all to get over full pg HG. Wouldn't recommend a 4 year gap as they have all got very different needs and interests. If it wasn't for health reasons I would have squeezed the gap by 1-2 years.

DD1 due in 6 weeks, I'm 40.

I was terrified of the idea before. People are in general quite unhelpful to women who have fears about having children. Anyone who has had a nightmare birth insists on telling the story, at length, and often. Then they start on about sleepless nights, ruined sex life, no money etc etc etc. It's like there is some big competition going on over who had the worst pregnancy/birth/terrible twos/teenage experience going.

If you are going through the same can I just put forward my two-penny-worth. Pregnancy is actually ok. I have not turned into an emotional dribbling wreck with a gargantuan arse and train track stretch marks, and my head has not been stuck down the toilet for the duration. I have yet to experience birth/terrible twos/the rest, but I'm working on the basis that as pregnancy isn't half the torture I expected, I'll survive those too.

If you feel you are even half ready go for it. It has been the best decision I have ever made. It has brought my DH and I much closer, and made us realise how lucky we are. I wouldn't panic unduly about declining fertility at 31. My GP told me that by far her largest number of unplanned pregnancies happen in the 38-45 age group, as women are so convinced they are infertile they take risks. You really aren't. I got pregnant first month off the pill, despite my great age and statistically shrivelled ovaries.

YuleBritannia Thu 03-Jan-13 16:36:52

DD - 24
DS - 25

LaurieBlueBell Thu 03-Jan-13 16:42:31

27 when I had DD1

39 when I had DS

46 when we adopted DD2

Big age gaps but it works for us.

Spuddybean Thu 03-Jan-13 16:43:33

35 - had ds this year. will start trying again when he's 1 so hope to be 37 for second. If all goes well will start trying for 3rd when dc2 is 1 and be 39 for the last one - altho we might try to sneak another in!

Witco Thu 03-Jan-13 16:56:43

DS - 27
DD - 35 (a surprise!)

DeathMetalMum Thu 03-Jan-13 17:09:00

Dd 1 - 21
Dc2 - 23 due in March.

Dp is 12 years older than me so didn't want to leave it too late.

AnameIcouldnotthinkof Thu 03-Jan-13 17:16:37

DD- 21
DS3 was adopted when I was 25
We are done now . grin
DD was an accident and we were scared of being to young plus we were both studying so it was not ideal. Maybe we would of been less worried if we had been older but we wouldn't change it for anything now.

Milliways Thu 03-Jan-13 17:21:32

DD 24
DS 29

(DH was adamant we finished our family by age 30)

MrsKeithRichards Thu 03-Jan-13 17:30:41

21 and 28

MrsKeithRichards Thu 03-Jan-13 17:33:43

I wanted today to fave number 2 when I was about 25/6 but took us ages to fall second time.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Thu 03-Jan-13 17:37:48

ds - 25
dd - 33

redexpat Thu 03-Jan-13 18:55:33

Married at 29.
DS at 30.
We haven't finished yet (hopefully).

thegreylady Thu 03-Jan-13 18:56:46

ds 26.1
dd 30.5

pingu2209 Thu 03-Jan-13 19:08:42

DC1 - 29 (1 month off 30 when I gave birth) in 2003
DC2 - 32 in 2005
DC3 - 34 in 2007

I thought I would be an older mother but I was infact about average.

I have so many friends who were having their 1st child when my 3rd was celebrating her 1st or 2nd birthday. They then had their 2nd child with less than 18 month gap because they felt time was ticking so much.

I had a number of friends who had their 1st child at age 38/39 and then regretted waiting so long because they ideally wanted more than 1 but didn't want to take the risk of having children after 40. I know quite a fall women who fall into this category.

Nuttyprofessor Thu 03-Jan-13 19:13:35

DD 24
DD 26
DD 38
DS 39

imip Thu 03-Jan-13 19:35:22

My beautiful oldest daughter was born seven years ago tomorrow. Sadly she was born sleeping. It took 18 months to conceive her, I was 34. Feeling down about it today.

Ten months later I went on to have
Dd1 35
Dd2 37
Dd3 38
Dd4 40

Age gaps are very small, I am absolutely exhausted and find it challenging a lot of the time. However, considering how bleak my world was seven years ago, I am bloody lucky.

If you feel the urge op, give it ago. It'll take at least 9 months for your baby to arrive, and the trials and tribulations of pregnancy/childbirth, it could be longer. It took three years to bring a baby home for us. Subsequent babies were conceive in the first month of trying (the irony!).

chezchaos Thu 03-Jan-13 19:38:24

30 and 33, as planned. I'm done smile

RubyGates Thu 03-Jan-13 19:42:43

DS1 22
DS2 43

So the gap between them is almost the same as the gap between DS1 and me.

marriedinwhite Thu 03-Jan-13 19:47:48

DS: 35

DD: 38

ImKateandsoismywife Thu 03-Jan-13 19:48:36

Dc1 27
Dc2 30

Would love a dc3 in a few years, aiming for 33/34 smile

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 03-Jan-13 20:03:39

DC expected in April when I will be 31. Started TTC when I was 28 though hmm

ByTheWay1 Thu 03-Jan-13 20:08:46

36 and 37 hubby virtually only had to wink at me and I got pregnant - both times!!

MrsJollyPostman Thu 03-Jan-13 20:08:48


ThePinkOcelot Thu 03-Jan-13 20:12:18

DD1 - 33
DD2 - 36

financialwizard Thu 03-Jan-13 20:17:57

With DS I was 23 and DD I was 32

SparklyandHappyMe2013 Thu 03-Jan-13 20:20:41

DD1 = 22
DD2 = 28

cathers Thu 03-Jan-13 20:50:08

Ds1 @ age 25
Ds2@ age 28

JollyToddles Thu 03-Jan-13 20:53:44

I had DS when I was 25.

If all goes well I'll have DC2 when I'm 27.

diddiehunter Thu 03-Jan-13 21:12:07

Met my now hubby in school and had dd1 at 17 , ds at 22 and dd2 at 26. No more for us! Hubby had the snip 5weeks ago at 28! smile

LucilleBluth Thu 03-Jan-13 21:55:59

DS1 nearly 21
DS2 24
DD 30

So much energy with the boys, not so much with 2yo DD ;)

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 03-Jan-13 22:00:57

DD 23 (Born 3 days before my 24th)

Godlessdomestic Thu 03-Jan-13 23:19:25

Hahah, have just realised what I did.. I promise I wasn't a really early starter.

I had dd1 when I was 22 (she's now nearly 21), dd2 was born when I was 38 - she's nearly 6 and I am now 43.

Sigh, I don't think this dry January thing is helping much grin

benbobaggins Thu 03-Jan-13 23:20:39

32 smile

Yika Thu 03-Jan-13 23:20:49

43. Conceived very easily. Just the one DD though smile

Nodecentnickname Thu 03-Jan-13 23:51:39

DD - 32
Currently pregnant with DS - 35

Haveaheart Fri 04-Jan-13 00:20:56


longingforsomesleep Fri 04-Jan-13 00:23:16


19 and 22. I'm 24 now.

Cutiecat Fri 04-Jan-13 02:14:21

DS 30
DD1 32
DD2 37

Am 39 in April and think we are done. I would have liked one more but lost a baby between my DDs and found it very hard.

akaemmafrost Fri 04-Jan-13 03:38:22

32 and 35

conorsrockers Fri 04-Jan-13 06:01:20

DS1 - 25, DS2 - 28, DS3 - 29.
Would love to have more, but that'll have to do!!!

ArseBandit Fri 04-Jan-13 13:32:02

DS1: 19
DS2: 21
DD: 23

am 29 now with new hubby and would love another one (or two!) of our own

Crawling Fri 04-Jan-13 13:40:22

ds 17
dd 21
dd2 23
We decided to go with and have our children young after ds so while we missed out while young we would have freedom when older.

It has turned out great for us as I was able to put my career on hold being young enough to study and get a good career once my children started school.

Pandemoniaa Fri 04-Jan-13 13:41:09

ds1 27
ds2 29

Absolutely the right age for me and ex-dh.

Geekster Fri 04-Jan-13 13:52:18

Had six miscarriages then had our DD at 39.

zukiecat Fri 04-Jan-13 14:00:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

higgle Fri 04-Jan-13 14:03:43

DS1 34
DS2 38

2 mc in between.

larry5 Fri 04-Jan-13 14:06:17

DS1 22
DS2 24

DD 40 we decided that we really wanted a third child and it was now or never. I am so glad that we had her.

Wingdingdong Fri 04-Jan-13 14:09:57

DD - 32
DS - 35.

2 miscarriages before DD, 1 between the DC. Had high-risk pregnancies with both DC so we're done, sadly. Wish I'd started TTC a lot earlier, especially as DH and I have been together since I was 21 and always knew we wanted a family.

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