To think that fly lady is a crock of shit.

(73 Posts)
Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:14:06

For many a reason.
1. Surely if your house is a real mess the best thing to do is pull on your trackie bottoms, scrape back your hair and blitz as much as you can. Not get dressed for dinner and spend half an hour shining your sink.
2. The best way to keep your house clean is to invent your own schedule that works well for you and your home and stick to that.
3. The only hotspot that needs a regular swish and swipe is my husband's job. Iykwim.

moonstorm Wed 02-Jan-13 17:16:38

1. It can bring back some self esteem if struggling/ getting snowed under - it also means you are ready for anything (ie don't get embarrassed by surprise guests)
2. But it's a kick start - when you can't see the wood for the trees, you can adapt later
3. But it's nice to live a clean, tidy house as well, no?

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:18:05

I do live in a clean and tidy house. Well clean, and a little messy. But mess is inevitable with kids.

LisaMed Wed 02-Jan-13 17:22:58

Why are you so upset at an innocuous cleaning system that works for a lot of people? It makes you sound as if you have ishoos, or that others are forcing ishoos in you. Doesn't sound much to do with sinks.

PeachTown Wed 02-Jan-13 17:23:43

Fly lady is doing little and often so the house never gets in such a mess it takes hours to blitz (which a lot of us then feel too overwhelmed to do).

I'm feeling optimistic about doing it this year but each to their own.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere Wed 02-Jan-13 17:24:36

Who/ what is fly lady? <feels out of loop> Cbeebies?

HannahsSister40 Wed 02-Jan-13 17:24:38

I'm not sure why fly lady has such an obsession with sinks? Personally I think hoovering or cleaning the floors has a much faster short sharp fix effect on the appearance of your house than a shiny sink!

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:25:27

I can safely say I am not upset.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:27:49

Choice between shining your sink and cleaning your kitchen floor. I would choose second option every time. My baby crawls on the floor. And clean floors make me irrationally happy.

PandaOnAPushBike Wed 02-Jan-13 17:28:51

I have autism. I lived in absolute chaos. Flylady saved my life. It helped me to establish routines and structures to my day. I still have a way to go but where I am now is entirely down to Flylady.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere Wed 02-Jan-13 17:29:37

Please, who is Fly lady?

twinklesparkles Wed 02-Jan-13 17:29:50

Oh god

I signed up years ago... I went on there once

I still get 40+ emails a day sad sad sad sad sad sad

CaptChaos Wed 02-Jan-13 17:30:19

1. She says that so people see it as a job, rather than as something to do when JK is finished. It can also help to improve self-esteem. The whole thing with shining your sink is that, whatever happens, one thing looks nice, which might not always have done, this can help to encourage you to try and tackle a different project. Getting dressed to shoes is hardly putting on a ballgown!

2. If your home looks like somewhere between messy and hoarder, or you're not terribly organised and forget bills/appointments/other important stuff because reminders disappear into the drifts of crap in your home, then someone kind, showing you a way to do things without judging can be a great starting point.

3. So get him to swish and swipe it every morning when he gets up! You have a strict demarcation of jobs in your house? What happens to 'your' jobs if you're ill?

If it's not helpful for you, then fine. I have in the past adapted it to help people with MH problems to get organised, and I've used it myself. It's more about helping people with organisational difficulties than mess.

lockets Wed 02-Jan-13 17:30:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runningforthebusinheels Wed 02-Jan-13 17:30:29

I found her crisis cleaning really good. I did it yesterday.

Yes, its all a but twee, but the Thing about shining your sink is (I think) psychological. Or a good place to start.

Yesterday it went against my instincts entirely to start with the sink tbh, I wanted to empty dw, or clear surfaces first. But I did it her way, and I must admit it worked well.

PandaOnAPushBike Wed 02-Jan-13 17:30:36
Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:30:38

Google is your friend nolittle

LisaMed Wed 02-Jan-13 17:31:13

Is it a reverse thingy then? Some people have different attitudes to housework. Is this a shock? Just seems a bit weird, but whatever floats your boat.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:32:13

Captchaos point 3 refers to my clitoris

AmberSocks Wed 02-Jan-13 17:32:57

i just signed up,i like it but adapt it to suit me,like when she says "today spend 15minutes de cluttering your entrance hall"i spend as much time as i like,an hour or so if i tneeds it/i feel like it.

if you dont like it then dont do it!

CaptChaos Wed 02-Jan-13 17:33:13

lol, fair one. Although you could sort that out quite happily for yourself grin

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 17:34:34

And sometimes I do.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Wed 02-Jan-13 17:35:20

grin lockets grin

littlefiendsusan Wed 02-Jan-13 17:40:03

No, not a crock of shit at all.
Getting into the mindset of just doing it rather than stressing about not having done it, made christmas chaos managable for me.

i think its mainly there for people that dont know where to start and get overwhelmed by it all. starting with 1 tiny thing (ie: shiny sink) then adding something to the mix the following day (and the next etc) then it can do wonders for people that struggle. especially with organization. its making you focus on little bits at a time instead of the bigger picture... which sometimes can be a huge picture

there are some very useful tips for everything too. sure... its not for everyone, but for most people it works. and i believe it really does help people

suburbophobe Wed 02-Jan-13 18:06:57

Far too American for me

Do check it from time to time and can take some tips from it that I know already

HappyNewBleurgh Wed 02-Jan-13 18:13:08

Well if it works for some that's good.

I must admit I'm more of the outlook of Nooneelseisallowedafergus. If it's got to be done then shining up one sink wouldn't help me one bit. It'd be a blitz job.

MrsKeithRichards Wed 02-Jan-13 18:23:02

The sink thing is quite good. My kitchen only 'works' when the sink is empty and giving it a quick shine makes it easier to keep that way. And it does make me smile, sad as that may be.

Seabright Wed 02-Jan-13 18:35:02

It has helped me and I just tune out the bits I don't like (a bit too American & often way to Christian/Evangelical for my taste).

I like the feeling of the jobs for today being done (I love crossing stuff off a list) and I like the periodic reminders to do stuff like check the batteries in smoke alarms.

spookysal Wed 02-Jan-13 18:46:17

I would look but I don't want 40 emails

E320 Wed 02-Jan-13 18:46:25

Great, so what do you do if you do not have a stainless steel sink?

TameGaloot Wed 02-Jan-13 18:51:53

I found it didn't work for me as when I was working my way through the first few days the place was falling into absolute chaos around me.
And I have to spend ages working through the crap in the emails

MrsKeithRichards Wed 02-Jan-13 18:57:37

You can clean any sink!

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 19:01:51

Yes tamegaloot.
Day 1 shine your sink (forget about the fact of you have no clean plates, no clean pants and your child is lost in the chaos of what should be the lounge)
Day 2 shine your sink again and write a post it note to remind yourself to get dressed. Oooookaaay then.
WTAF?
And this is helpful?

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 19:02:34

Btw the bit in brackets does not refer to my house. I have located both my children.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 19:06:43

Ha! Jus read babysteps day 3.
Guess what. Keep getting dressed and keep shining yor sink!
Hows about do some frickin cleaning!
In 3 days all you've done is get dressed and shine your sink 3 times? You need to see a dr.

MrsKeithRichards Wed 02-Jan-13 19:06:46

The baby steps are about instilling habits, laying the foundations of a good routine, not all you ever have to do!

HellesBelles396 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:08:27

Hiya. I'm two days in and it's good so far. I have chronic depression and am easily overwhelmed but bitesize tasks - with clear instructions - work for me.

Re the sink: I am livid having a shiny sink and it's making me wash up as I go along rather than leaving it all til the next time I cook and need a pan the next morning.

I think, for people who are more motivated than me and less all-or-nothing, it would seem patronising but it's just right for me.

MrsKeithRichards Wed 02-Jan-13 19:10:49

It works for people that want it all, go all out at full pelt and spend 3 days doing nothing but cleaning only for it all to fall apart a week later.

RyleDup Wed 02-Jan-13 19:13:41

I like fly lady. But I'm too lazy to follow her instructions, I did try and stuck at it for a week. My husband has solved the problem though and we're getting a cleaner grin

libelulle Wed 02-Jan-13 19:18:04

She lost me at the 'put your shoes on' bit and the 'you don't wear shoes in the house? Well you do now, sister.' I don't think so - it's my sodding house and I don't wear shoes in it. Sister.

And I'm all for starting with a baby step, but making it shining the sink is just odd. But then I have a brushed steel sink because I hate shiny steel...

HellesBelles396 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:25:21

I haven't put shoes on - or make-up - so I agree on that. Wearing shoes in the house is gross.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Wed 02-Jan-13 19:26:54

I don't think much of it. But then I think that housework is predominantly a way to waste women's time: as long as you can find a clean plate and a clean pair of pants when you need them, it's fine. And if you live with a man who thinks the house is messy, tell him to fucking well clean it.

Viviennemary Wed 02-Jan-13 19:28:09

I've got the book. Can't think where it is though. I did try it for a while but didn't keep it up. But basically there is nothing wrong with it. Some people find it very motivational. Even if people know what they have to do they don't get on with it. Like they sit typing away on the internet while chaos reigns. grin

suburbophobe Wed 02-Jan-13 19:28:27

Helles - invest in a dishwasher, the best present I ever gave myself. grin

...no more yuck on the sideboard/in the sink either

except for teenage+ DS's stuff

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 19:29:41

Right. Another read of her website. She makes cleaning seem more complicated than it actually is, she is making you reliant on her silly convoluted website.
I will summarise and cut through all her crap.

- keep on top of the kitchen and laundry each and every day
- Hoover and dust all rooms at least weekly
- clean bathrooms weekly
- mop the kitchen floor a couple of times a week
- do any other jobs as and when required
The End.

IceNoSlice Wed 02-Jan-13 19:35:59

libelulle. I'm with you. Slippers are far superior indoor wear. Sister.

suburbophobe Wed 02-Jan-13 19:36:46

I do enough housework to keep it all together
hygienic standards

But truthfully, I do the minimum cos I'd rather be the best mum to my DS/read a book/surf/be on MN..

One of my favourite reminders is:

As the Buddhist monk said: "No-one on their death bed is going to be saying "Wish I'd spent more time in the office/kept a cleaner house"!!

HappyNewBleurgh Wed 02-Jan-13 19:36:47

'She lost me at the 'put your shoes on' bit and the 'you don't wear shoes in the house? Well you do now, sister.' I don't think so - it's my sodding house and I don't wear shoes in it. Sister.' ROFLgrin

I don't get it eitherconfused. But I don't respond well to being micro-managed. What's shoes on/off got to do with anything anywayconfused.

DillyTante Wed 02-Jan-13 19:40:03

It's a bit like couch to 5k, in that it starts of slow to make it sustainable. It's all too easy to go all out & beast the house then a) you are exhausted and b) it lasts for about 3 hours then you are too demoralised to do it again. This forces you to go slow & create a routine. I don't do it myself but I like the idea

FrillyMilly Wed 02-Jan-13 19:43:41

I was put off by the get dressed including your shoes. Why would I want to wear my shoes all day especially if I don't pln on leaving the house. I also don't want to shine my sink. I have a water meter and if I washed up every time there was a dirty dish it would cost me a fortune

HappyNewBleurgh Wed 02-Jan-13 19:43:48

I could write one called Procrastination Lady.

PurpleTinsel Wed 02-Jan-13 19:44:26

I think it's the sort of thing that can be helpful if you're feeling overwhelmed by the state of your house and don't know where to start.

And if it helps some people keep on top of things, there's nothing wrong with it. It's not like anyone's forcing people who don't like Fly Lady to follow her suggestions.

But I don't like the shoe thing either. My mum brought me up to take shoes off the minute I got through the front door to avoid tracking dirt into the house, so the idea of wearing proper shoes to clean a house just seems totally wrong to me.

HellesBelles396 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:50:06

suburb swapped my lovely dishwasher for a washing machine as my mum pointed out I realised that I'm 34 and should be doing my own laundry. I only have one space for a plumbed machine.

Chubfuddler Wed 02-Jan-13 19:53:40

Noone that's like saying "losing weight is easy, eat less and move more". Some people find this stuff incredibly hard.

lovelyladuree Wed 02-Jan-13 20:34:17

I am so glad I have a life.

Chottie Wed 02-Jan-13 20:37:07

I'm a FlyLady fan and proud of it smile

LividDil Wed 02-Jan-13 20:43:57

I've never got beyond noticing how cluttered and busy the site itself is - which i find quite ironic.

HellesBelles396 Wed 02-Jan-13 20:46:32

livid so glad I'm not the only one to find the website a bit busy.

For that reason I wrote the babysteps into a notebook to reduce the amount of tome i spent on there.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Wed 02-Jan-13 20:48:27

Yes website is a nightmare, no wonder users of it have no time to do any housework.

halcyondays Wed 02-Jan-13 21:31:38

1. If your house is a real mess, some people don't know where to start and so they put it off. Or they do a big blitz, kept the place tidy for a couple of days, then let it go to shit again. Flylady advises you to beware of burning out.

2. I am a fairly intelligent person, but I am completely incapable of devising my own routine. I just don't see things that need doing until they've built up to unmanageable levels, or else I vaguely know what needs done but I get overwhelmed and end up doing certain things repeatedly, while ignoring other things that really need done.

3. Lucky you, but my house has lots of hotspots, like the pile of crap on the kitchen table, the pile of crap in the hall, etc

4. You are obviously not the sort of person Flylady is aimed at, good for you. If you are so good at devising your own routines effortlessly, then you are probably what she calls BO.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Wed 02-Jan-13 22:19:48

Most of the time housework doesn't need doing. All this stuff about dusting every day is bullshit and, like I said, a way to keep women too busy for them to develop real lives - the way people thing a messy home is some kind of moral failing in a woman but 'endearing cluelessness' in a man. You only need to clean things when they look or smell dirty. You don't need to be all that tidy as long as you can find what you want. There are so many more interesting and more important things to do than have a spotless house.

halcyondays Wed 02-Jan-13 22:33:00

It's not about having a spotless house,it's about having a house that isn't horrible to live in and that is clean enough and so that you can find things. Clothes don't wash themselves, meals don't plan and cook themselves, bathrooms and kitchen do need a certain amount of cleaning. Someone, male or female, needs to do a certain amount in the home to stop it getting to the point where you have to call in Kim and Aggie.

QuacksForDoughnuts Wed 02-Jan-13 22:55:12

I am one of those people who really, really has not got these things sorted. I need the 'little steps' approach. I'm not mad on flylady, but suspect that's because I'm not Christian or a SAHM, have a pale carpet (not my choice, the previous owners put it in) that rules out shoes upstairs outside an emergency and have a tendency to do decorative tasks like shining the sink as procrastination to put off either more useful chores or work. UnFuck Your Habitat is a great alternative though, certainly from my perspective it's more realistic. Your mileage may vary.

cardibach Wed 02-Jan-13 22:57:07

<cheers SolidGold>
You put it so well. You are so right. Nobody should care about this stuff.

Nanny0gg Wed 02-Jan-13 23:16:33

Solidgold "There are so many more interesting and more important things to do than have a spotless house. "

For example?

ellee Wed 02-Jan-13 23:40:06

Well I came in at 7 this eveing from ft work, house a tip, dh and 2dc not home, so I stuck on the rice and... Shined my sink! Only looked at her site, signed up but never got the mails, but that one thing stuck and I shine my kitchen sink regularly. Makes me feel the place is "clean" (it's not).

I think she's alright. What's the harm? I'd LOVE a spotless house. ALL THE TIME smile

I just don't want to do it myself...

ellee Wed 02-Jan-13 23:41:30

I am SO getting a housekeeper when I win the lotto <mental note-start doing lotto>

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Thu 03-Jan-13 01:04:17

NannyOgg: Where to start? Reading, playing an instrument, seeing friends, playing with DC, painting, watching TV, organising a charity event or political campaign, sports, work, running around the garden yodelling... Almost everything is more interesting, more life-enriching and more important than housework, which is basically tedious repetitive shitwork that should be predominantly ignored. Yes, there's some stuff that needs to be done (washing up, laundry, occasional - ie once a month or so- hoovering) but most of it is pretty pointless.
One of the biggest reasons to hate Flylady is its emphasis on women doing this shitwork and accepting that it's their destiny. There's nothing sacred, magical or empowering about scrubbing toilets, and the mark of status in every human society is being able to make someone else do the shitwork. It would be better to stop worrying so much about whether your curtains are spotless.

Also, the modern-day obsession with housework is really unhealthy. All this sanitizing and sterilizing and vast amounts of detergent and antiseptic is fucking both the environment and children's immune systems.

HellesBelles396 Thu 03-Jan-13 08:42:05

solidgold the only thing I've cleaned is the sink but my house is much tidier.

Re the woman thing - if there was anyone but me, they'd be doing half. But there isn't. The buck stops here. If flylady's checklist makes that easier for me, where's the harm?
Surely being an empowered woman is about making your own choices. I choose flylady to help me keep my home pleasant for me to live in and invite my friends to.

Yes, there are things not to like (shuddering at the thought of wearing shoes indoors) but it's working for me so that has to be a good thing smile

peaceandlovebunny Thu 03-Jan-13 09:27:49

if your sink is shiny, you are more likely to use it for washing up...
if i had the self-discipline, i would use fly lady.

I thought flylady was aimed at those who struggle with depression? In which case the little steps that seem so pointless and daft to you are actually very useful. As for doing a big blitz of the housework? That's like telling someone to run up Mt Everest.

barbiecollector Thu 03-Jan-13 10:07:41

Fly Lady is fantastic, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed. The thing about wearing lace-up shoes in the house, is that you are not tempted to just take them off and lay on the sofa. I got so much more done in my lace-up shoes than I ever did shuffling around in my slippers.

Oh, and they don't have to be your outside shoes. I bought a pair of plimsolls especially for the house and I never wore them outdoors.

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