To fire my nanny?

(75 Posts)
AnneNonimousLetterToSanta Mon 31-Dec-12 16:32:56

I am a widower, and a single father to 7 children. Since my wife died I have employed various nannies to help me handle this responsibility. They never seem to last long...

My current nanny has been dressing my children up in rags, answering back, and teaching them god awful songs to sing to my new gorgeous girlfriend. She has also been hiding my eldest DD's love affair with a racist boy from me.

WIBU to send her back to the convent we got her from?



Kayano Mon 31-Dec-12 16:35:11

oh don't! I think it would all be fine if you would just let loose and join in with the songs.

why did she dress them in rags? Did you even ask?

YANBU, just be careful you don't end up with a houseful of singing nuns!

Also, try to cash in on the singing, people love cutsie kiddies. They could make you a fortune

NatashaBee Mon 31-Dec-12 16:35:59


SullenCrescent Mon 31-Dec-12 16:36:58

I think you secretly love her and should in fact marry her.

AnneNonimousLetterToSanta Mon 31-Dec-12 16:37:06

kayano apparently the clothes I provide are not suitable for 'playing' in. Cheeky mare had the nerve to call them straight jackets!!!

natwebb79 Mon 31-Dec-12 16:38:07

Answering back and teaching them songs?? How very dare she! You really can't get the staff these days! :-/

ledkr Mon 31-Dec-12 16:38:41

What are we gonna do about the nanny?


BogChicken Mon 31-Dec-12 16:40:06

She trashed my perfectly suitable curtains (made put of very fetching material <natch>) to make these lederhosen!

<arf> lederhosen <snort>

BluelightsAndSirens Mon 31-Dec-12 16:40:19

Yes send her back, get your new girlfriend to sing to them instead.

meddie Mon 31-Dec-12 16:40:26

Sack her. she has also been receiving brown paper packages tied up with string while you were out.

wavesgoodbye Mon 31-Dec-12 16:40:51

I went from wtf?? To ohhhh in 20 seconds.

Stop being so uptight and have fun with your children you never know what the future holds.

Highlander Mon 31-Dec-12 16:40:56

Climb every mountain, that'll sort her out.

Pleasenomorepeppa Mon 31-Dec-12 16:41:24

Sounds like someone has a little crush......

hopenglory Mon 31-Dec-12 16:41:48

Ah go on, I'm sure she's actually one of your favourite things

HazelnutinCaramel Mon 31-Dec-12 16:41:49

YANBU. Perhaps she has designs on you aswell?

manicbmc Mon 31-Dec-12 16:42:14

I suggest you send her packing then reconcile, take part in a singing competition and then flee from the Nazis... but that's just my opinion.

TraineeBabyCatcher Mon 31-Dec-12 16:42:44

Haha. I took me most of this thread for your post to register.

Maybe it I had read the final word I would have figured it out sooner.

BluelightsAndSirens Mon 31-Dec-12 16:43:16

I bet the hills are alive where you live, you just haven't embraced the fully yet.

<holds out hand for you to hold>

icovetthee Mon 31-Dec-12 16:44:20

Make her some jam and bread. I've heard she's partial.

Dear Mumsnet, how do you solve a problem like my nanny?

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 17:31:20

leave the cow...

StanleyLambchop Mon 31-Dec-12 17:32:13

The clothes were made from curtains, not rags. To be fair she did ask you for some material to make them play clothes, but you refused, you grumpy old bugger. Apparently your children don't play, they march!!!

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 17:33:15

but she has got that really silly hairdo.

send her packing for that alone...

She sounds like trouble, sack the bitch!

StanleyLambchop Mon 31-Dec-12 17:40:58

And stop blowing that bloody whistle!!!

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 17:42:00

Fire the silly songstress grin.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 17:44:15

on a separate issue, do you know any other songs except ones about small white flowers?? its getting a bit samey

whoneedssleepanyway Mon 31-Dec-12 17:46:41

Sounds like it is time to say so long farewell auf wiedersehn goodbye

manicbmc Mon 31-Dec-12 17:49:07

And can you get Gretel's adenoids done please and tell her to mime.

Do you know she thinks the hills are alive?

Nancy66 Mon 31-Dec-12 17:54:17

I also reckons she is knocking off Uncle Max...have you seen the way those two look at each other?

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 18:01:20

and there's this lovely baroness I know..

she'd make a super mum.

MichaelaS Mon 31-Dec-12 18:03:15

i have no advice on your nanny, but i hear you're throwing a spectacular party soon, a sort of anti fascist fundraiser? please can i come? i'm very good at drinking champagne and slagging off the nazis.

purplewithred Mon 31-Dec-12 18:04:32

The kids love he, she works all the hours god sends and she believes in cheap/free entertainment for kids. Marry her and you'll get extra benefits and not even have to pay her any more!

LeeCoakley Mon 31-Dec-12 18:04:57

Can I shag you?

NonnoMum Mon 31-Dec-12 18:05:24

Did you get her from a reputable agency? Or did you just contact the local nunnery?
Does she have any skills she could offer? Is she musical in any way?

I don't think you'd have any MIL trouble somehow.

BTW watch out for your eldest girl. I think she should let her try a sip of champagne. She is 17 FGS!

Tee2072Thing Mon 31-Dec-12 18:09:35

Watch out for that Rolf, he is well aware your oldest is 16 going on 17.

StanleyLambchop Mon 31-Dec-12 18:11:46

Can I offer you a bit of advice? When you find yourself having to flee Salzburg in a hurry to escape the Nazis, don't go over the mountains. You will find yourself in Germany, not Switzerland. You should know by now that Salzburg is close to the German border !! (or ask your Governess, she has spent alot of time up them mountains!!)

SarahStratton Mon 31-Dec-12 18:17:31

High on the hills lives a lonely goatherd, possibly she'd be happier with his carefree lifestyle.

meMillyme Mon 31-Dec-12 18:18:30

YABU; you loved her from the moment she sat on that pinecone.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 18:18:52

I do sense you are feeling concerned and worried about all this.

How do you feel about whiskers on kittens?

Hesterton Mon 31-Dec-12 18:23:46

A quiet word with ofsted perhaps?

And you might need to discuss H&S with her too, she's letting them up trees.


She should only be looking after six of your children as your oldest definitely doesn't need a governess.

DonderandBlitzen Mon 31-Dec-12 18:40:39

Hmm. She does sound like a bit of a flibbertigibbet

ReindeerHooves Mon 31-Dec-12 18:45:15

Sack her. Give me the job. I would lock the children in a small room so they couldn't do anything common or noisy and take you outside to that lovely summer house and do unspeakably filthy things to you.

I may or may not be ovulating <eyes up dh>

ShiftyFades Mon 31-Dec-12 18:56:14

Yabu. Who else would teach your children to sing and cycle at the same time? It's a rare talent and probably useful confused

Doe a deer...

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 19:05:11

...a female deer.

TheFallenNinja Mon 31-Dec-12 19:14:52

Pisser grin

FeistyLass Mon 31-Dec-12 19:19:42

YANBU, do you know how she treats dog bites and bee stings?! I don't think she's qualified at all.

everlong Mon 31-Dec-12 19:21:58

Cool grin

Gillyweed001 Mon 31-Dec-12 20:57:39

How do you solve a problem this?

YABU. She just needs a Plummer to sort out her pipe work grin

ThePinkOcelot Mon 31-Dec-12 21:03:42

Sack her, and hire the government nanny, Nanny McPhee!

moajab Mon 31-Dec-12 22:34:30

Hmmm I think you have a real problem here. And that you may end up marrying her by the end of the film very soon. But the Nazis are very bad. And can i come to your party please?

SarahWarahWoo Mon 31-Dec-12 22:39:30

Write a screen play about this, you never know?!

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 31-Dec-12 22:43:12

Really sarah don't you think people might see this as a little far fetched for a film?? Where's the realism?

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Mon 31-Dec-12 23:41:29


apostropheuse Mon 31-Dec-12 23:46:57

OP you sound like...

ray a drop of golden sun


TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy Mon 31-Dec-12 23:52:42


My Nanny drugs my children with medicine, or bribes them with sugar. She takes the children out all night with her whilst she sees her boyfriend too. Who is a filthy common chimney sweep. and he's an American, don't know who he thinks he's kidding with that cockney accent.

YouOldTinsellySlag Tue 01-Jan-13 00:15:46

Invite Mary Poppins round. Make them have a fight. Whoever wins gets the job. No using guitars or umbrellas as weapons.

Call me suspicious, but I think Mary Poppins moonlights as a nun-nanny anyway...they look kind of similar...hmm

BlackAffronted Tue 01-Jan-13 07:44:27

She sounds like a flibbertigibbet, a will-o'-the-wisp, a clown!

Badgersnatch Tue 01-Jan-13 09:22:11

I've heard that she's into co-sleeping too.

sherazade Tue 01-Jan-13 09:28:05

love them captain, please love them, they want to be loved <swoons>

flamingtoaster Tue 01-Jan-13 09:48:17

Personally I would be most concerned about her filling young minds with ideas about The Lonely Goatherd and finding a partner by yodelling. I realize yodelling is not illegal - but really - just anyone could yodel back! No mention of marriage either before they lived happily ever after - definitely not suitable for young minds.

Delalakis Tue 01-Jan-13 09:55:50

Yes, boot her and have me. I've seen the pictures of you, I'm absolutely certain we'd get on.

weegiemum Tue 01-Jan-13 11:12:31

I'd be concerned about the children's diet. Not sure schnitzel with noodles is a balanced diet?

Well, there is tea, jam and bread on offer as well.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Tue 01-Jan-13 15:10:22

I've heard that she plies children with drugs by hiding it in a spoon of sugar..

No...wait...that's a different nanny...

cocoachannel Tue 01-Jan-13 15:29:36

There is always that delightful little thing called boarding school.

flow4 Tue 01-Jan-13 15:41:15

SEVEN children? Your poor dead wife. I hope she had access to appropriate contraception and perinatal care. Are maternal mortality rates high the Austrian Alps?

Really, if that nanny is getting ideas about you, she needs to be Warned.

Iactuallydothinkso Tue 01-Jan-13 15:51:07

Please sack the governess.

She doesn't love you. She loves God really.

I, on the other hand would most definitely respond to your whistle and you could make my hills come alive!

Exit stage right *goes off whistling and wishing every line I had to offer wasn't quite so stupid and corny....

CaptChaos Tue 01-Jan-13 16:05:23


After all, you could climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow and still not find your dream


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