Mumsnet Talk

My twins have just started to run off when out shopping in the city centre yesterday they thought it was funny to run off in different directions. I tried holding hands but they kept pulling away. So I went into boots and purchased 2 sets of reins. For the first hour they kept swinging and trying to sit down but when they relised that I wasn't moving until they walked and that I wasn't taking them of they decided to give in and walk around the shops. Am I being unreasonable using reins as I hadn't used reins on them before?

Yanbu it keeps them safe. I found the little backpacks better though.

Why would it be unreasonable to use something which keeps them safe?

I used reins when my 3 were little not at the same time though!!
Some parents hate them some love them.
Good luck

I agree that the backpacks are better!

My boys were a nightmare on reins - found the little life backpack much better!

I used reins on my DDs when they were that age - taught them that if they wanted to walk independently they had to stay with me. It didn't take very long at all, they were a useful teaching tool.

jolly good idea if it keeps them safe.

Reins are fab! Cheap, small and easy to pack in your bag or pocket to keep handy, and they keep the DCs safe. Plus you can just hook your arm through when you need to use your hands.

My DCs reins have been quite literally around the world as they went between 3 families with relatives in very far off places.

YANBU, I think they're brilliant.

I used wrist straps on my twins when they were small till they learned not to run off. It's bad enough if you have one running off, but when there's two and they go in different directions!

It didn't take my two long to learn to walk nicely holding my hand.

Glad I made the right decision how long did you use them for?

My DD was a bolter as a toddler, my DS is not. If I'd had DS first I would probably have thought reins were pointless. They are very useful for little ones who run away and having two toddlers to keep safe I'd say they are ideal.

Why not just put them on a lead and have done? Or put them in a crate at night to sleep?!

Sorry I just got in there before someone else did!

All of my 6 have used reins and they were a godsend, and none of them have taken to pissing up lamposts, at least, not to my knowledge

I do it with my twins, I think its madness not too. I have been in the situation, without reins, one legged it and I couldn't grab the other one quickly enough to get after that one.

MN is v pro reins. And with good reason. I never needed them with dd as she was a biddable child. Has never even crossed her mind to run off in a public place.

DS is a bloody nightmare. He bolts, climbs, dashes and scarpers. I still can't quite bring myself to use reins though. I just don't like them. I don't judge other people using them though. In fact I envy them a bit. I just can't use them myself.

Reins are great. They help stop children running off and getting lost and getting hit by cars. This is a good thing.

Showy you really should - they are liberating!

Not everywhere, but in some instances they are a godsend.

Reins are fine as long as you don't start wearing roller skates. However tempting, do not cross that line

Ds was 3 in November and I can't remember the last time we needed them. I still have them available though incase he is messing and I can threaten to use them!

My DS2 was a bolter - very adventurous and impulsive and oblivious to danger if he saw something that interested him.

I put him on reins when he was a young toddler, then progressed to a wrist strap when an older toddler. I carried the wrist strap round with me for a long time after he stopped wearing it, as a threat that if he ever showed signs of bolting, it would go straight back on. There's a fair chance that if I hadn't used it, I wouldn't still have him.

I wish more parents would use them, but they seemed to go out of fashion for a while and I did get one or two odd looks, which I ignored.

I use reins on dd whose 2. I cannot fathom why others don't. Particularly when near busy roads. It's just nuts. U cannot know where they are going or stop them falling over. I'm perplexed why people don't use them.

My twins are 3 how long do you think I should use them for?

I use reins but find the little life backpack even better. The hand loop is big enough to slide up my arm to about my elbow, so I can push it up, have my hand free to hold DS's hand and have the comfort of knowing if he manages to slip his hand free, he's not going to go very far.

Arithmeticulous! I've got twins too & I like the idea of this - tee hee!

Where do you get the back packs from?

YANBU. Use them for however long you need to.

I'm taking my two (who will be 5 and 8) to Disneyland next year and am planning on using the backpacks

Disclaimer: DC1 has ADHD and ASD and DC2 copies and bounces of DC1. Obviously if we get closer to the time of going, I'll review if I think they'll 'need' them or not.

I used reins with my twins until they were about 3. I still have one set of reins at home to threaten them with if they misbehave! (they're now 11!)

www.cherishable.co.uk/Reins-Backpacks-s/1815.htm

Lots of backpacks!

Reins = good idea

That's a good idea I'm planing a trip to Disney next year the twins will be 4 backpacks sound good I'm not sure whether there reins would fit in 6 months time!

Almost a vital part of taking a child out! Its not just about them not running off, its about knowing exactly where they are. I was walking along one day, with DS loose at my side. Someone swooped down and snatched him up! I died a little at that moment! Happily, it was my brother!!

I once saw a woman in town, she had 5 children of various ages attached to her belt with wrist straps! It was fantastic! if a little

rsins are a great idea. Unfortunately my dd refused to walk with them on so spent lots of time in her buggy or holding hands. my ds has just started walking so
I'll be getting some reins for him anx won't give in as easily.

I read on here there was a mumsnetter dc got run over while her dh was sorting out the other twin which definitely makes me more determined to use reins with my toddler and even more important if you have twins.

I use them, it means I can use both hands to push DS2 in the stroller, or pay for stuff in shops without the fear of him bolting off. Or just let him walk without holding my hand. For us they are essential. DH and I once went out in charge of a child each, and DH decided not to bother with reins on DS1. He bolted DH caught his hand, DS threw himself on the floor, popped his elbow and we spent the afternoon in A&E.knowing he is potentially prone to this, reins always.

That's a good idea I'm planing a trip to Disney next year the twins will be 4 backpacks sound good I'm not sure whether there reins would fit in 6 months time!

My DD would just sit down rather than bolt, so our reins got no use, but then DS, who is a sprinting demon, came along. We love reins. We couldn't give two hoots if people look at us funny ;)

I loved them i cant wait till the little one is walking proper he will have them on him and no pram yess.Heres hoping it happens soon.

I used reins with DS1 and he was a dream on them and learned really quickly that running off and buggering about would get him no-where, as well as the reins setting my mind at ease. We used them from about 19 months until just after he turned two, with the threat of them if he played up after that.

DS2 is a whole different kettle of fish and I'm anticipating that he'll take longer because he'll bolt and tantrum at the drop of a hat.
Reins get a big thumbs up from me!

I went for the leather kind after the plastic clips failed on the fabric strap kind I first got for my twins, IMO reins are a must.

My dd is 3 and still uses her wrist strap ( with her reins she would make her legs gave way and callapse to the floor declaring she's dying) with her wrist strap she still manages to sometimes escape (and hide) and I get pitying looks mainly due to the fact that she stops to tell people 'look I'm like a puppy I have a leader woof'
I sometimes wish I had a quiet polite normal child but what fun would that be?

If you need a free hand, unclip one side of the rein and make a loop which can slip over your wrist.

i prefer the backpacks too then it feels less like im walking a dog.

My twins will be 3 in may. I've recently promoted them from reins onto wrist straps (they hold onto either side of my baby's pram as well).

We have the back packs too, found them very useful for walks and on holiday but no good for trips out in the car as they need removing to get them in car seats.

Bonus with the little life backpack... DD1 was a bolter, used as reins. DD2 is placid, I use it as a handle when she's on her scooter. Can provide momentum up hills & stop her falling over, she steers and is a million times happier than if she was in a pram.

Everyone wins!

I use the backpack reins on my 2 year old and I only have one to think about, it's in no way unreasonable to use them for twins. In fact, when I was recently in town I saw a family with triplet girls all with matching backpack reins, they looked very sweet.

Oh and toys r us have the backpacks in store.

There is a poster on MN who posted on a thread of mine about reins. She lost her child years ago because her DH forgot to put the reins on. The poor parents, I can't imagine the loss. Since I heard her story I have DD wear her reins with pride. She will wear them until she learns to listen (I reckon about 45 years old!).

Please, please use reins, backpack, dog lead or a bit rope, whatever keeps your litte ones safe.

My ExDh didnt, just once and my son died after being hit by a car.

If you dont want to be posting This then please use something, anything, but dont go through what I have!

YANBU. I used reins with my twins till they held my hands. Used them on DS3 till 3yr 6m as he was a bolter. However we had a backpack from 2yr6m (fantastic). I remember a time where i couldn't go to the park etc as they would just run off in different directions!

There are a few photos of my mum with me in reins. I have no memory of this and it doesn't seem to have done any harm to my love of walking or relationship with my mum! Can't see the anti-rein fuss really. Makes life easier then why not?

Another vote for reins here. I've got special twin ones from Twins UK which are brilliant. I can clip each one to my belt and still have my hands free to hold their hands. I can't stand those backpack reins, personally. I've had a few snarky comments but what do people expect me to do when one twin trips over and I need both hands to lift him back up?

The only problem I've had has been when both boys have a screaming tantrum and refuse to move: I can't carry 2 toddlers! When this happened I had to carry each boy a few metres along the path then put him down, and then run back for his brother, and so on until I got home. It was hell. So now I've gone back to using the buggy. :-(

Cross posted with MrsTerry, that was me and I'm so glad I have made a difference to at least 1 person.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son, MrsPresley

That always scares me as DH once let DS3 run into a busy carpark. Luckily there was nothing coming. DS3 also walked out into a quiet road when I let him walk in front (just a bit) with his friend. He is 4 and even now I make sure we hold hands everywhere as he has no road sense whatsoever. DH is more laid back though and often has to be reminded to hold DS's hand..

We have got the little life backpacks for dt's, backpacks hold a nappy, small pack of wipes and a tommee yippee cup.
It's safer and makes it easier to carry shopping.

I am so sorry Mrs Presley.

Yanbu I think reins or similar are ok. My dt's kept tying up my legs with them though.

Actually I seem to have spent the last 11 years tripping over my dc.

After all I regret not buying them earlier, going out tomorrow night with friends who have children of similar ages to a fireworks display and fair so will defiantly be using them whether they like it or not they have got to understand that both of them need to stay close. I will be using them until they understand this even if one of them dose before the other.

MrsPresley I think of you anytime I have that thought, 'it's only a short trip' or 'she'll be OK'. DD is a terrible bolter and because of you I now have no guilt at all making her wear the reins. Thank you and I'm so sorry for your loss.

MrsTerry

You dont know how happy it makes me to hear someone has listened

Although I do think that maybe your DD will be ready to stop using reins by the time she's 44 surely?

Seriously though, I'm really glad to have a small difference and hopefully like me you will keep telling people to use reins.

So sorry to hear of your loss mrs presley makes me realise that I should use them every time I go out with the twins, you never know when it might happen.

I used reins, but held dd's hand with the reins wrapped around my wrist so she still knew to hold my hand but if bolted was still connected. When she objected she was told 'Mums knows where you are and you know where mum is.....!!!'

MrsPresley maybe 44 then . Don't worry, I tell everyone.

MrsPresley I also thought of your terrible loss and simelar other cases when out with DS3 (bolter). Even though I got funny looks and sometimes felt I was way OTT when my friends let their DC run in front. It could have saved DS3 many times over as he really (and still in a way doesn't) have a sense of danger at all and would run into the main road without a moments thought. Thank you for speaking out and helping save others. Again so sorry for your loss.

Just seen your post MrsPresley, thank you for telling us about your son. I was made sometimes as if I was being OTT, you have justified every time I put them on

My teo youngest are 54 weeks apart in age. My DD is a bolter and DS was a lovely little hand holder. Still they same at 7 and 6. I am seriously considering putting my DD back in reins.

I'm not sure why reins have fallen out of fashion. They are a great idea but you rarely see them these days.

I have always used reins with my dcs up untill they were old enough to understand not to wander off. Still use them for dd2 and will use them for ds2 when he is walking.

I also find them brilliant as dcs have a joint problem and dislocate easily so if they trip they can be 'saved' by the reins whereas if I was holding their hands and they fell it dislocates elbow/shoulder.

I have had quite a few comments from people about how I shouldn't restrain my dcs-once in a shop the woman working there knelt down and said to dd1 (who was 2.5 at the time)"you just want to run around don't you-what are these (and pulled at the reins),shall I tell your mummy to take them off" I was livid.

Mrspresley-I just read the thread you linked to and it made me cry my eyes out iam so sorry for your loss.

I always think reins look horrible, but I would take horrible and safe over the risk of anything ever happening.

So sorry Mrs Presley

I use them for DS who is 19 mths. He only started walking 2 months ago and is still way too impatient to be willing to hold hands. Sod anyone who looks weirdly at me.

DD2 went everywhere on reins as she wasn't in the least worried about losing Mummy.

She happily vanished at every opportunity.

DD2 liked to keep Mummy or at least big sister in sight. She'd even sometimes hold hands.

I wish my friend would use them, she has an adorable DS (25 months) who has been brought up so far never hearing the word 'no' - he has no boundaries at all so does not understand to stay with you, will not hold hands and just runs off. They spend a lot of time in the town centre and I fear for his safety (especially as she now has a 2 month old DS as well so DS1 is no longer her sole focus when out & about).

MrsPresley - I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Grandad 28 years ago tomorrow, in some ways it feels like only a short time ago and in other ways a very very long time ago. I still miss him so very much, so can only imagine how much you must miss your DS

Mrs Presley, just thoughts,prayers and hugs.

I used reigns after Jamie bugler was taken and killed. My boys were the same age range, 2 and 3 at the time and typical wanderers.

Just keep them safe.

I have used them on both ds' and now use them on dd, although she is great at hand holding I feel happier with that added security.

I used the Little Life backpack reins with DS. Only stopped using them with him when he started the nursery class at school so around 3.5 years? Fantastic bit of kit.

My twins are 11 months one is only just walking and I have been pricing up those backpack reins for ages. I also have a playpen glorified toy box. I have done ff and cc. They both nap on me when I can't be arsed to walk up the stairs. I regularly lie on the sofa after tea whilst dh slave brings me cups of tea and dts play bang the letterbox and scare passersby.Shoot me I'm a bad mum!

Op-reins reign imo. (plus the little backpacks with animals are sooo cute)

Sorry mrs presley posted under the first page. Am so sorry for your loss

Twins on reins! Awesome. If it snows this winter you can get yourself a sleigh and have them pull it like huskies.

YANBU. I don't know why reins stopped being mainstream. Most people now seem to wedge children into buggies instead, which is a bit of a shame - I see some enormous kids (5yo size, easily) in buggies round my way.

Just been looking at the back packs and wrist straps don't know whether to order some and give them a try as well.

MrsPresley I used reins on both my DC and when I read your post I'm glad I did.
All this about "they look like dogs on a lead" pales into insignificance when you think of the alternative.

My own story (and it gave me a fright, my DD too)
I'd driven to the school to pick DS up (we usually walked, DD -who was 2.6 / 3yo- on her reins)
I let DD out the car (onto the pavement)and she walked round the back of the car, I was doing something in the boot.
I said "Go back on the pavement DD"
So she headed to the pavement on the other side of the road.

There was a lorry that stopped thankfully, I grabbed her.

It was a split second, could've gone the other way. .

So yes, I'm a fan on reins.

I use reins on my toddler (nearly 2). Today she decided to 'dangle' from them quite a lot whilst we were shopping. So I just stopped until she got up. Later on she decided she didn't want to walk anywhere, so I ended up dragging her (for about 30 seconds) along the floor (in a shop, clean, and safe). She thought it was funny.

I used them on two of my three who were bolters. Especially in busy places and at the till in shops where they'd wait for me to get both hands busy and make a dash for it.
I last used them on Dd when she was nearly 4. She had the best ones I'd seen, a monkey backpack and I held onto the tail, it had a loop to put over my wrist, and she still held my hand while using it, until she'd get the opportunity to try and bolt, ha no chance when I had monkey by the tail.

Yanbu.

I used the little life back packs until mine were 4.

And I used to say walkies .

I know how you feel I had one in each hand doing it at the same time today for about 40 minuets on several occasions, they relished I wasn't giving in and persuaded them to stop by buying them a toy. All I can say is keep persisting as I am.

I always use my reins for 3yo DS, we have the backpack ones. The only times he has them off is when we're in the indoor shopping centre and when we're on the street his nursery is on (very quiet, very long straight road with traffic calming measures and a lollipop man at each end), he is always told 'if you go past the end of the pushchair, you go back on your reins'. I've been using this road and the shopping centre to teach him to walk next to me sensibly without running off but he is still very much a bolter, forgets instructions and has zero sense of danger. Even when he is off the reins I leave the backpack on his though because it can be easily grabbed if he does bolt.

We have had comments about them, both positive and negative. The positive comments are usually about what a good idea they are and loads of people ask where to buy a backpack from. The negative comments are usually about him being a person not a dog and that he'll never learn to walk sensibly without them - which to me is like saying you'll never learn not to fall off a cliff unless you go running right along the edge of one. We've got a set for 16mo DD which she uses now and then when she fancies a totter about the shops.

The dog comments are not helped by DS occasionally pretending to be a dog complete with barking, wagging his tail (which is so cute!), and enthusiastic sniffing

Stuff any negative comments though. I'd rather be judged than grieving.

Just wanted to add, the backpack ones have a loop in the end of the 'leash' bit. I usually slip my wrist through the loop while I'm pushing DD's buggy so DS walks alongside holding onto the buggy but if he tries to bolt the 'leash' stops him getting too far away.

Mrs Presley, I have just read your posts and your previous thread - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'd like to bet that, by sharing your experience, you have already saved a child (or children). I really wish more parents would use reins and straps, even on young children who are usually reliable.

I have looked at the local dog owners with their dog walking to heel on its lead with envy as ds dangled off his straps and refused to walk, sometimes kicking and screaming, often in the middle of the crossing in front of school with all the parents and head teacher looking on. he is alive to tell the tale though. his bolting tendancies and local drivers ignoring the crossing completely would not make for a happy outcome.

oh and i have had a few rope burn type grazes on my thighs as i have clipped him to my thighs when paying for shopping in the supermarket. he still throws himself on the floor and has a paddy but at least it is the floor near my feet and not under a car in the carpark...

and they keep him in the shopping trolley when the supermarket's straps have broken, and they keep him in the car seat when he is trying to escape.

he is still alive and well... despite his seeming death wish...

DS (ASD) has a very expensive crelling walking harness, and he's 6! I'm not risking my child.

I don't get the dogs on lead thing. About a trillion threads a year on mn are people moaning about dogs running free.

Mrs Presley, I can't say anything worthy but I will never forget you.

YANBU.

I use backpacks for my twins and they walk fine.

YADNBU. There have been times I have stood at my nursery door, feeling sick as I've watched children from my class have very near misses in the road when they've run away from their parents.
I have spoken at length with all my classes about 'staying with your grown up', but I teach a lot of very lively 3 year olds...
I wish more of our parents used reins.

I'm so sorry for your loss MrsPresley

YANBU, there is a lot of traffic and things to look at that a small child will dash over and look at. It's one of the harder things I found with twins because we had two they just didnt understand.
We used reins, I had the long twin ones that allegedly work well clipped to the belt although I didn't use that bit. They were great when one was toddling and the other not ready as the strap was so long I could easily control buggy at the same time as having her safe.

mrspriestly I use a back pack thing after I read your thread some time ago. My dd was only months old when I read it but I remember thinking then, that I would use them (despite me not necessarily liking the idea of "walking" my dd).

Dd is 17 months old, and we use them because of you. She's not even a bolter, but I honestly believe safety first before an opinion on how something looks. I'm really sorry that this Christmas has been tough for you- I hope that you can find a bit more peace knowing that several people on this thread have changed their views because of your tragic loss. Much love