To be daydreaming about having a minor accident that puts me in hospital for a couple of days :(

(134 Posts)
larks35 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:14:26

I know I am really. But I am just so worn out! I work full-time and have a 3yo and 8mo. Mine is the main (at this point only) income we have. I do enjoy my job (teacher) and that is my main focus during the week. But I obviously also love my family and they are my focus in the evenings and weekends. DD has been teething and a bit ill recently so nights have been broken. I had another parents' evening tonight (have had one per week for the last 3 weeks). I have a mound of marking that I'll struggle to do, probably tomorrow, saturday and sunday evening.

I just need a break! And yes, I know I'll get two weeks off over Christmas and I am lucky with that compared to others, but that is just another kind of work and I'm all out of steam sad.

So my daydream is to have a minor accident that entails a two night stay at hospital. Work will be sympathetic, DP will have to cope and I'll just sleep and read. I obviously need to work on my work/life balance.

I knew you were a teacher before I clicked. I am extremely familiar with that feeling, sadly!

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 13-Dec-12 23:17:20

It's endoftermitis. I found myself wishing for the norovirus last week, just so I could have a day off! Bit drastic really. The Autumn term is the longest, hardest - everyone has had enough by now including the children. Hang on in there, not long to go now!

deleted203 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:19:53

I KNEW you were a teacher too! I once taught in a school where I used to dawdle along hoping I'd get run over on the way there - nothing fatal, obviously - but something that would land me in hospital with a broken leg, perhaps, to give me a decent rest!

FromEsme Thu 13-Dec-12 23:19:57

I'm on a PGCE, OP. I doubt it's anywhere near as stressful as being a qualified teacher, but I can sympathise a bit. I am praying every day for snow as I just need to lie in bed for a day!

TheFarSide Thu 13-Dec-12 23:20:55

I remember one job I had where we were all very stressed, studying while working full-time, etc, where a couple of us used to fantasize about getting old and living in a care home with all our needs taken care of. grin

It's just a temporary reaction - YANBU

Purple2012 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:23:58

I'd love this too. Just a couple of nights, can take my kindle and do nothing.

larks35 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:25:20

Thanks all, your right about the length of the term. What stresses me is also the shortness of next term and all we need to achieve in it! Still, the break from work is coming, I just hope I can muster the energy to make Christmas what it should be for my kids!

FromEsme - I'm 10 years in the job, believe me the only thing as stressful as the PGCE was the NQT year for me. The job does get easier. Good luck with it.

Well yes YABU, but I have found myself wishing the same sometimes (but the reality is no-one really get to stay in hospital unless they're REALLY ill these days, so it wouldn't be much fun....)

babybythesea Thu 13-Dec-12 23:26:07

Nope. NU at all.
I sometimes wonder about minor crimes that might get me a week or so in prison - but then i wonder if they do such short-term sentences and if I'd just end up with community service and even more stuff to get done.
But my own cell, locked in for 12 hours at a time and presumably no access to a hoover or anything so therefore no need to clean it... as long as I have a supply of books, I'm there.

Either that or a damaged leg or similar. I don't want to feel ill, in case I am too ill to read. Something like a broken leg which keeps you immobile for a bit but doesn't affect your ability to enjoy old re-runs of Morse or that really good book you've been trying to finish for weeks would be best...

sweetkitty Thu 13-Dec-12 23:28:29

I a SAHM and I dream about it too. I have 4 DCs, 8 to 2, a DH who works long hours and no family help or support at all. It's down to DH and I. I'm fed up with the endless hard work of it all, I don't ever get a break. Oh I had half an hour tonight to have a shower sad

Two nights and days sounds bliss

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Thu 13-Dec-12 23:29:16

I've been in hospital a couple of times, and I hated it.
But the staff were wonderful, I could doze off without guilt, and if I hadn't been ill, I might have enjoyed it. TBH, a minor illness (with no worries) being looked after 24/7 would be rather restful.

Whoknowswhocares Thu 13-Dec-12 23:32:43

I take it you've never actually stayed in hospital then? Can't say I've ever met ANYONE who's had a decent nights sleep or a rest there!!!

TuftyFinch Thu 13-Dec-12 23:33:29

In out straffroom we would spend weeks coming up with elaborate plans where we could be off work but not in too much pain.

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Thu 13-Dec-12 23:35:24

police here - also know where you are coming from. except im meant to be working xmas day and the whole week from the 25th,

i was thinking today if i could get something that would allow me to claim on my critical illness insurance i could pay off the mortgage and jack it in.....

larks35 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:37:14

saintly and LadyBB&B, you're right of course. If I was ill enough to be in hospital, it most likely wouldn't be the break I dream of. babybythesea - the problem with being imprisoned is that I would most likely lose my job and therefore the family income, way to stressful to consider!

I know what I really need is a good nights sleep, too late for that tonight but I think I'll turn in early tomorrow night and try to get in the festive spirit this weekend.

deleted203 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:38:34

Only 6 days of term left......

AboutThyme Thu 13-Dec-12 23:38:48

YANBU. Have you any family/good friends to call on for a couple of hours of a break? Anyone near you on the locals bench?

BadRoly Thu 13-Dec-12 23:40:06

I'm with babybythesea and a night in the cells - I know it's a concrete bed but I'm assuming no one will crawl in with me at 4am wide awake and ready to start the day...

And I too am a sahm to 4dc and book keeper for dh's business. Which involves him working away every week. I can't believe there is still another week of term to go - all our teachers are hanging, poor buggers!

larks35 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:41:11

Vicar - you have my utmost sympathy, like I said I know having 2 weeks off at this time of year makes me luckier than some. Will you have a traditional Christmas Eve Christmas?

smugmumofboys Thu 13-Dec-12 23:41:18

I knew you were a teacher too. I've got tomorrow off as both DSes really fluey and spiking temps.

Great, except my school will no longer pay me for the day and I've already shelled out for childcare I won't need. It's taken the shine off it somewhat.

AboutThyme Thu 13-Dec-12 23:42:47

If you are near me I will happily give you an hour off :-) (NW - but you must help me wrap presents grin)

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Thu 13-Dec-12 23:43:19

no larks the kids dont want to do that and ive to be up at 5am xmas day and boxing day
unless the gp continues to sign me off....i just started anti depressants a week ago.

the stress is intolerable.

maximusminimus Thu 13-Dec-12 23:43:51


When I was in a job I loathed, I used to walk to the tube and hope to be hit by a bus. Nothing serious - just enough to let me lie in bed in hospital for a few days and catch up on all the sleep my cow of a supervisor prevented me from having

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Thu 13-Dec-12 23:47:30

i cant whip up one ounce of enthusiasm for xmas at all. not a jot. i just want a sodding break and to feel happy again.
if losing a kidney is the price of that then fine.....or anything that would allow me to claim on the critical illness cover....

stargirl1701 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:49:14

I knew you were a teacher too! Been there, had that daydream smile Not long to go! Chin up, you can do it.

AboutThyme Thu 13-Dec-12 23:49:15

Oh Vicar, why do you feel so unhappy?

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Thu 13-Dec-12 23:55:48

no idea really other than im stressed to the limit thyme started anti depressants a week ago.

there are no police anymore. my group is short. our work loads are unmanageable. the moment i get to work control is shouting at us to get to more jobs, the jobs i have are not getting investigated due to the workload i have. a colleague was seriously injured at a pub fight which he got sent to alone. i got sent to reports of 30 people fighting on my own.
i cant do it.

Morloth Thu 13-Dec-12 23:56:16

YABU, but I have found myself watching something where someone was hurt or something and thinking 'all they have to do now is rest...'

Not too long, but perhaps a week of just being expected to eat and sleep...

AngelOne Thu 13-Dec-12 23:59:08

I'm not a teacher, but feel the same. I'm in public sector and undergoing massive re-structuring ATM.
The whole process is an absolute farce, and staff are being treated appallingly. HR are so disorganised, the union are up to their eyeballs in grievances and we don't even have a line manager at the moment. Next Thursday I'm being interviewed for my own job, if I'm not successful I'll get redundancy notice on the 31st January. Happy fucking new year!

larks35 Thu 13-Dec-12 23:59:38

Vicar, I hope you do continue to be signed off as it sounds like you need a break far more than I do. flowers to you. When I started as a teacher, a friend of mine started as a police constable, my worst experiences (insolent, aggressive and sometimes violent kids) were his easiest. You do have a far more stressful job than most of us and if it has taken its toll on you, you need to be given time to recover.

I do enjoy my job, love it really. I just feel torn between two very important roles and the only time I have to myself are these late nights, which obviously don't help, but I need them!

AboutThyme Thu 13-Dec-12 23:59:45

I wish I had something helpful I could say. I don't. Except I am sorry to hear about your colleague and I am sorry to hear you were sent to an un-winnable (new word) situation. Are you near anyone on the bench who can help/meet you? Im in the north west if you fancy a coffee??

MakeItALarge Thu 13-Dec-12 23:59:58

Yanbu, I had a small op the other month couldnt move for two days so got to lie on the sofa and order dc and dp around grin it was lovely

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Fri 14-Dec-12 00:04:30

im sorry. i should not use this thread as a whingefest - i have my own to whinge on in mental health. its just i can sympathise with these feelings, i have some health issues (seeing consultant on weds) but they are not serious and im wishing they were so i could have some more time off. pathetic. blush

AboutThyme Fri 14-Dec-12 00:06:29

You aren't using a thread as a "whingefest". Not at all. Nor are you pathetic.

VestaCurry Fri 14-Dec-12 00:07:49

I used to teach and remember the feeling.

Vicar sad sad So awful that you are under such intolerable stress. I've read some of your threads (mainly to do with the state of your poor feet, which just scream 'body under extreme stress' if that makes sense. Could your GP sign you off for longer? You don't sound well enough to cope with the rigours of going back on duty, especially during the Christmas season which must be even more pressurised.

MakeItALarge Fri 14-Dec-12 00:10:15

Vi car, if anyone is entitled to a break or a whingefest its you! The job sounds awful, and no one who does that could be pathetic

larks35 Fri 14-Dec-12 00:15:57

Don't be sorry Vicar, this is a whinge thread and your situation is more whinge-worthy than mine. I really do hope your doctor signs you off for longer and that you don't have another health problem to worry about.

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Fri 14-Dec-12 00:16:32

i am embarrassed, but i just feel like cannon fodder. expendable cannon fodder. and its shit to say how hard i worked to get the job, the hoops i jumped and the 2 year recruitment process. all for nothing but to wind up on ADs.

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Fri 14-Dec-12 00:18:27

anyway. sorry to piss on your parade larks just know i sympathise. lots.

am off to bed before i spontaneously combust. wonders if that qualifies for critical illness cover

as you were.

Grockle Fri 14-Dec-12 00:20:53

Oh, I could have written your OP. In fact, in the past, I've had a similar thread. Same job, only income... but too much time spent with other people's children, planning, assessing, writing reports, going to meetings... all of that done in time I should spend with DS.

I have fantacised often about being hurt enough to be off for a while - breaking my leg or something. That way, work would understand & it'd be acceptable.

I eventually went to my GP after I collapsed & was signed off for a couple of weeks with exhaustion, given ADs & offers of counselling/ referal to MH team etc. It gave me a bit of time to not worry about work.

I'm still doing the same job and wondering what else I could do.

So sorry you are so worn out. It's rubbish. There aren't many jobs like teaching, which are as fast-paced, where you have so many interactions during the day & have to switch jobs - from teaching to piles paperwork but do both on the same day. It IS exhausting.

Look after yourself. And, if you need time off, take it. You can self-certify for a week if you had a 'tummy bug' or 'flu'. There's no shame in being off with anything else either.

Grockle Fri 14-Dec-12 00:24:43

Oh Vicar, sorry you are feeling the same. I don't know how policemen/women do it. I guess it's similar to teaching - lots to do, little time, reports to write & very stressful. My friend trained to be a policewoman - she did it for about 6 months then went back to working as a beauty therapist..

larks35 Fri 14-Dec-12 00:27:05

Vicar, you're stressed and consequently depressed. Don't think too much about your job at the moment if that is possible. When stressed, our thought processes always dwell on the negatives and everything is tainted with the gloom. Try if you can, not to dwell on anything too much. Go back to doctor and explain you need more tiime off, tell them you cannot cope with the thought of work, let alone the reality.

I don't know how much time you've had off so far but if you were signed off for a month then at least that would enable you to stop thinking about work and start enjoying life. Your depression sounds soley stress and work related, so you can't recover from it unless you are allowed a complete break from it.

VestaCurry Fri 14-Dec-12 00:31:39

I went into teaching from a job where I'd regularly done a lot of presentations to reasonably large groups of people. But.....they were adults and apart from the odd yawn here and there, they sat reasonably still and listened or, politely pretended to grin! Plus the longest I'd present in one day might be 40 mins x 2 or 3 slots if I had a lot of staff to get through. Oh what a wake up call teaching was! The job with 4 weeks holiday a year was much less tiring.

MrTumblesCrackWhore Fri 14-Dec-12 00:33:40

(I'm a teacher too btw)

I'm glad I'm not the only one to think like this - I have, however, got one up on you and actually had a minor op in hospital which involved an overnight lie in stay. When my GP told me very earnestly that I'd have to go in for an emergency op to remove an infected cyst close to my spine, I nearly danced with joy. ( well, I would have but I was actually in pain). General anaesthetic you say? Overnight stay? Huzzah!

I went home, looked all doleful for dh's benefit, grabbed the ear plugs and eye mask, kissed ds goodbye and whizzed off in a taxi to the waiting surgeon. I did get a great night's sleep btw.

I'm super bad though, I've realised, as my principle was asking us about the Easter holiday in 2013. The dates don't match with the rest of the London boroughs - whilst others were up in arms they may not have the same time off as their children get, I was stroking my chin at the thought of 2 weeks with no kids at home. Don't think I've been in the house on my own for more than an hour since 2009!

larks35 Fri 14-Dec-12 00:43:04

MrTumbles - that's the thing isn't it. Most of my colleagues count down the days to the hols and think "Great! A break!". All I think is, "great, my other job becomes full-time".

Hats off the SAHMs, a couple of posters have said they deal with 4, pretty much all the time. I'm the youngest of 4 and I can remember the daily quarrels, moaning, fighting, demands etc. we put my mum through.

But, I am determined to enjoy Christmas, DS is now of an age where he understands it and I know that a little effort from me will go a long way in enjoyment for him and, as a consequence, for me!

5 more days on the chalkface and then festivities begin!

Thanks all for cheering me up with your sympathetic posts grin

Yanbu, I remember going in hospital last year and being relieved, no work, actually being able to sleep, people to make my meals, just the pressure being taken away and someone roses taking control for a few days.

I remember saying to mum if they had kept me any longer I wouldn't have left, you fall into a rythym (sp) of wake/chat/meals/chat/sleep.

Roses ?? Someone else even

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Fri 14-Dec-12 01:03:39

Before I had DD I do remember looking forward to my 3 day post-birth hospital stay like i would a mini-break. In the event I checked out a day early as I was worried DS missed me. 24 hrs at home with his tantrums and I wished I was back there grin

I also now totally understand why my mum- a teacher- used to get so mad when she'd come home after a long day at work to be met at the front door by me and dsis, who were screaming at one another and wanted her to referee an argument over something really critical like who could have the last fish finger.

JockTamsonsBairns Fri 14-Dec-12 01:49:16

Totally understand. Last year, a friend of mine was admitted to hospital for 3 days with an infection - I actually felt envious..uniterrupted sleep, meals brought on a tray, cups of tea, bunches of grapes here and there. What's not to like?

A couple of years ago, Dc's were 10, 4 and 2, I had to have radioactive treatment as an outpatient. The consultant advised that I should avoid contact with my children for 12 hours. I told Dh he'd advised 48 hours blush. I was bloody exhausted though, and those two days were bliss.

Startail Fri 14-Dec-12 02:00:45

I did fetch up in hospital when DD1 was 5 months old.

Day surgery under GA, hoped for a few hours sleep before discharge.

hump, the antidote to the GA was far too good and the old dear opposite took great delight in someone to talk too.

TheseGoToEleven Fri 14-Dec-12 02:13:44

About a month ago my husband was in hospital for 3 nights and I said to him that I knew he was in pain and uncomfortable etc but I would give just about anything for 1 day of not having to go, go, go all the time with never a break (4DCs and WAHM and DH with very long hours - I do everything). He came home from the hospital on the Monday and I went in Thursday night with a really bad gall bladder attack and had my gall bladder out the next day. OK, so I was incoherent with pain and could only utter single words, but once they got the morphine into me it was almost worth the pain - I slept the entire day in the hospital while I waited for the op, then the entire night afterwards, came home the next day and went to bed at 8pm. I look back ever so fondly on those three days now!

curiousuze Fri 14-Dec-12 03:35:45

Oh now what you need is your appendix out - that's been my favourite illness so far.

I used to daydream about getting knocked down by a car a little bit on the way to work, when I really hated my old job. Just a little bit.

Jacksmania Fri 14-Dec-12 05:15:33

Oh god YANBU. Me too. The best part about having the fucking shingles was the time off work and the meager few days I got to spend wrapped in a blanket on the sofa.
The worst part was having to get up again and go back to work because no longer contagious but fighting post-viral fatigue.

I am so tired.

echt Fri 14-Dec-12 05:39:24

As soon as I saw this thread title, I knew it would be a teacher.

When I was working in the UK, a number of teachers I knew expressed this fantasy, it bordered on the wish to self-harm; turn off the road, biff a tree a bit. I'm not saying the OP's suggesting this, but it's painful to think people would want to be ill, yet are dutifully turning up every day. I don't blame them, but am sad.

Sorry for your situation too, vicar, what a workload. sad

blackeyedsusan Fri 14-Dec-12 05:44:35

2 weeks off for christmas shock

since when?

i had a few days off with a sprained ankkle that was too painful to walk on.. now that was good...

LtXmasEve Fri 14-Dec-12 06:10:41

I've got a friend who has just had to have a month off work with an inner ear infection. Every time she stood up she felt sick and fell over. A month lying down on the there's a break!

So sorry Larks and Vicar, I do hope things pick up for you.

MammaTJ Fri 14-Dec-12 06:16:20

I didn't know you were a teacher from the title, but I did know you were a mum of young children working full time.

We all feel like that from time to time.

I will advise caution. I used to blithely wish for boredom as a break. I broke my ankle in three places. I had more than my share of boredom then.

Your children will grow up, it will get easier.

Vicar, I have seen you give great advice on here, I am sorry you are struggling.

BookieMonster Fri 14-Dec-12 06:19:04

OP and Vicar, I hope you feel happier soon.
I think everyone should get a free pass for a mental health weekend each year, to be taken at a time of your choosing. No interruptions, no work, just two days of complete rest, peace and quiet. When I am Queen, it will be the first thing I decree!!

BikeRunSki Fri 14-Dec-12 06:25:02

OP, I am so with you! I have a 4 yo and 13 month old and am exhausted and i'm not even back at work yet. I am dreading 2 Jan when I do.

BikeRunSki Fri 14-Dec-12 06:28:36

Forgot to say, DS had a big tantrum in changing rooms after his swimming lesson earlier this week. At the end of my tether I said "Right, we are going home past the hospital and I am going to ask them to find anything wrong with me that will get me admitted."

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Fri 14-Dec-12 06:33:30

FT teaching with a family is draining. I do it and I know exactly how you feel. What worries me is it seems to be getting tougher and tougher. Fingers crossed for that lottery win. grin

RubyGates Fri 14-Dec-12 06:36:37

I have been fantasising about this for years. I got to the point where even walking out in front of a bus looked like a reasonable option. I KNOW it it isn't, but the relentlessness of it all with never a moment to myself has slowly worn away all reason.

I knew I wasn't alone because my colleague who has almost sole care of an extremely difficult mother feels the same way.

It's relieving to know we're not the only ones who think this way.

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Fri 14-Dec-12 06:40:39

It's actually a sign of depression and all of you may be suffering from SAD. Which means there's something you can do about it.

Get a lamp, take a walk on a sunny day, get some Vitamin D.

Might help, can't hurt!

RubyGates Fri 14-Dec-12 06:45:59

I know mines' not SAD. It was a year round thing. It was complete and utter exhaustion with no end in site, a lack of money, the constant struggle to find inventive ways to make ends meet, and no family or friends to babysit EVER.

Thank you Tee for the suggestion, but a lamp and some vitamins isn't going to help me.

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Fri 14-Dec-12 06:53:02

And that really sounds like depression, Ruby. Talk to a GP. Seriously, there is help to stop feeling like that even if life is depressing.

EuphemiaInExcelsis Fri 14-Dec-12 06:57:18

I'm praying for snow for the last week of term, just bad enough to shut the place. smile

Our pupils haven't been out to play for two weeks owing to an icy playground, and between that and Christmas they are utterly bonkers.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!


RubyGates Fri 14-Dec-12 07:08:18

What would he do Tee ? Organise a babysitter? I don't think so. It's NOT depression, not in a clinical sense. It's the normal reaction to being under relentless pressure with no release valve.

I wouldn't take anti-depressents, because I don't need to be in a fog all day, I need to be able to function properly to cope in our situation. And guess what... we no longer have a GP because he was struck off for terrorist activities, and all the local lists are so over-subscribed that we can't find another.

I appreciate your concern, but unless there is PRACTICAl change to our situation a GP is not going to be able to wave a magic wand and make it better.

noblegiraffe Fri 14-Dec-12 07:26:00

It's a bloody long term again, and a dark, cold and miserable one.

There have been a few days this term when I've felt really rough and not like going in, but the horror of having to set cover work was enough to force me into work.

SuffolkNWhat Fri 14-Dec-12 08:06:42

Another teacher who has felt this way.

I know exactly where on my route to work, after dropping DD in nursery, that I could crash my car without causing damage to anyone but myself sad

Luckily I realised this was a major red flag that my depression had returned and I was back on the tablets the next day.

Put me in front of a class and I love my job, add on all the other pressures and a broken leg seems very appealing indeed.

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 08:09:38


bigkidsdidit Fri 14-Dec-12 08:10:20

I had an ovarian cyst out last year, three days in hospital. It was bliss grin


However a non-painful, non-serious, minor disease that confines the patient to bed for a week, in a quiet room, alobe, sounds very appealing.

In reality I'd be bored and lonely after 4 hours.

Nearly the end of term. 2 weeks off work sounds bliss.

Some of us have to work christmas day and all through the 'holiday period'. Nights.

ChristmasJubilee Fri 14-Dec-12 08:19:49

I'm not a teacher but a nurse in charge of a department and I completely get where you are coming from. I feel everyone gets short changed as there's just not enough of me to do everything that needs to be done. I was shocked at myself the other day when I fleetingly thought how much easier my life would be if I hadn't had ds3. sad

I am now thinking about trying to change my workload permenantly as I can't go on like this. If I find an answer I'll let you know.

KenDoddsDadsDog Fri 14-Dec-12 08:20:26

Would love to be heading for two weeks off. Instead it's stress, double stress and work on top.

Cabrinha Fri 14-Dec-12 08:29:01

Everyone is being very sympathetic, but I'm surprised that people don't seem to be asking what your partner can do to help? Is he not working, or not earning? (studying?) Why is he not providing a break for you?

YANBU, I'm fantasising about a minor fracture that meant I didn't have to work over Christmas and New Year.
DH's office is closed down for 2 bloody weeks, we're allowed 2 days over the festive period. envy
I'm knackered and don't want to do it. Why do people have to be ill at Christmas? hmm

KenDoddsDadsDog Fri 14-Dec-12 08:59:44

My best one ever was having a Christmas baby three years ago. Nobody expected anything!

LadyFlumpalot Fri 14-Dec-12 09:10:50

The point I realised I had PND was when I was driving down a country road towards a main road and saw a tractor coming along quite slowly.

I was alone in the car so I did briefly seriously consider driving out to be hit by the tractor. I figured it wasn't going fast enough to seriously hurt me, but I would probably end up in hospital for a few days and could take my ear plugs and get a few nights SLEEP. I didn't because I didn't want to hurt my car!

So no, YANBU, but please don't act on any of those thoughts.

Bunbaker Fri 14-Dec-12 09:18:13

If you lived round here (South Yorks) all you would need to do is step outside the door. You will slip on the ice rink outside and end up in hospital with a very long wait in A & E while they tend to all the broken bones.

Many schools are opening late today because of the treacherous conditions, the traffic is chaotic and many buses aren't on the road yet.

I took the decision to take DD in late because it is so icy, then the school texted to say they weren't opening until 10.30 anyway.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 14-Dec-12 09:26:21

OP, I sympathise.

DH and I tag team at weekends. It's marginally tougher for the one doing the care but it's so much better for the other one. Can your DH do the care on Saturday whilst you go to the cinema or something?

honeytea Fri 14-Dec-12 09:29:45

FgMy mum said almost exactly what you said op, she is a teacher.

I have been on bed rest for weeks because of high blood pressure at the end of my pregnancy, my mum was saying how lucky I am and how she wished she could be on bed rest.
I am so incredibly bored, I just have hours to worry about everything the huge baby who is a week late and not properly engaged, the fact I can't walk about to try and get him to engage, the 2 months maternity lay that I won't get till the 20th and all the Christmas shopping we will have to do between the 20th and 24th (they want to induce me on the 22nd how am I going to give birth and do all the shopping in 2 days?) I spent the last of our money on wine for Christmas dinner as I thought that would at least make the situation of no presents and random food less noticeable.

I was upset my mum was envious of me having to rest but reading this thread has given me some insight into how she feels.

I hope you all have very merry and restful (accident free) Christmases smile

whattodoo Fri 14-Dec-12 09:31:30

I'm sure this will be no consolation to anybody, but can I just let all the teachers, police officers, nurses etc know how much I appreciate and admire them.

My DD started reception this Sept, and she is knackered. But at least she doesn't have to pretend not to be miserable, or have to control all the festive lunacy, or comfort those who are going through tough times.

So, I know you're struggling and there doesn't serm to be a light at the end of the Christmas tunnel, but I for one want to raise a glass to you.

cory Fri 14-Dec-12 09:45:02

I am going in for an op in January but it won't be a minibreak; I will spend the time juggling my worries about dd who is ill and has been having suicidal thoughts again and will probably also be scheduled for an op around then. All relatives either live abroad or are in poor health and dh is starting a new job with a 6 hour commute so won't be able to be of much practical help. The work will be divided between myself and ds who is 12. And I have several work deadlines to meet, none of which can be covered by other people.

My daydream is to be in a situation where I could actually look forward to that hospital trip.

Sorry didn't mean to be competitively miserable.

But those of you who have a child with SN and/or MH problems will understand the feeling: it doesn't matter how ill you are because they need you so much and it's not something you can pass on to other people. If I can't function, dd might make another attempt sad.

I feel the same, Christmas is my busiest time at work, childcare is harder to find, my gp won't up my anti depressants until next week and I feel like I'm fighting against the tide all the time.

But my poor dad has had to go back to working outside on building sites at 70 years old sad I feel for him the most.

I just knew you would be a teacher! My very lovely friend is teaching Y3 this year and has been ringing most evenings. Most conversations start with 'Cough' cough, sniff - I'm so tired, Laura!' And she is, poor thing. It's so hectic this time of year and everyone is poorly. I was a fulltime TA for years and I remember how dark and dismal this time of year can be.

cory Fri 14-Dec-12 10:13:27

Ooh, that sounds horrible, Southern, that is not something a 70yo should be doing.

namechanger11111 Fri 14-Dec-12 10:54:34

I went to have my wisdom teeth out under general antithetic when Ds2 was 3 and I was working full time. They told me to get changed then left me on a bed to wait for my slot. I read a magazine then fell asleep at about 10am, it was great. The nurse woke me up and said you haven't had anything done yet! I said I have a 3yr old and work full time I don't get much time to rest, she said fair enough and closed the curtain.

Although I did spent 2 weeks in hospital when Ds2 was just 1 having my gall bladder out and it wasn't very relaxing. I was nil by mouth for much of it and kept getting woken up what felt like every 5 mins and I was in a lot of pain.

I hope you manage to have a bit of a relaxing Christmas break.

BiddyPop Fri 14-Dec-12 11:12:13

I am dreaming of something similar - amn't a teacher but due to DH travelling for work reasons (overseas, 2 weeks out of 4 for the past 18 months) I've been effectively single parenting and I know others have it a lot harder, but I am completely burnt out at the minute (FT very stressful job and DD has SN too, family live 160 miles away).

I am going to do NOTHING at least 3 days over Christmas (in between Christmas Day, DD's birthday, PIL visiting (local hotel though), going to my parents and trying to go see everyone else as well...).

MuddlingMackem Fri 14-Dec-12 11:28:15


I wouldn't have guessed you were a teacher from your title as my friends and I who all work part time have all shared this fantasy on occasion. grin

Of course you know you're not going to do anything to actually make it happen, but it's a nice fantasy to indulge occasionally, just like one about winning the lottery, so no harm done. wink

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 11:28:49

I really can't summon up sympathy for people who joke about hospital trips and minor fractures.

OP you will have 2 weeks off - not too bad really, is it?

BrianButterfield Fri 14-Dec-12 11:50:36

valium - yes, we have 2 weeks off and that's great but have you not READ the thread? God, some people just don't get it. People are actively WISHING to end up in hospital for a break and you say it's "not too bad really"?

I'm a teacher too and know exactly how you feel. I had D&V the other day and while lying feeling like death in the evening I was secretly pleased that it meant I had to take a day off. On my own. Sick or not, it was such a wonderful wonderful thought, I was overjoyed. It was worth the D&V.

I woke up to the sound of DS puking. So my lovely day off on my own was spent with a poorly 15-month-old. It was nice to spend time with him but I feel robbed, and of course ended up more tired, wrung out and drained than before. I don't even get to be bloody sick on my own.

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 11:56:25

Yes I have read the thread and I get it. Teaching is bloody hard ime but 'joking' about fractures and hospitals stays is distasteful and ridiculous and people who have actually spent time in hospital knows you get no rest at all and it's vile to be in there.

BrianButterfield Fri 14-Dec-12 12:05:24

Who says the people joking haven't spent time in hospital?

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 12:06:13

I know I sound snippy but if the OP had said she fantasied about having a spa break for a couple of days to recoup then I wouldn't have said a thing.

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 12:06:55

Well clearly they have had better experience of hospitals than I have.

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 12:07:40

I'm bowing out of the thread.

OP I hope you manage to rest up over the Christmas break smile

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Fri 14-Dec-12 12:22:37

I've had a couple of hospital stays Valium, one for a mastectomy, another for a collapsed lung.
And obviously it was no picnic but the care I got was second to none.
This is a lighthearted thread, and yes a little fracture to keep me in for a couple of days sounds rather pleasant.grin.
I've obviously been luckier than you with my NHS care though.

valiumredhead Fri 14-Dec-12 12:27:22

I honestly had such horrendous care, threads like this make me twitch!

BrianButterfield Fri 14-Dec-12 12:36:38

The food in my local hospital is miles and miles better than school food.

noblegiraffe Fri 14-Dec-12 12:38:35

The thing with a spa break is that it is a self-indulgence that won't be allowed mid-term. If you are in hospital, you get people telling you that you have to rest and you aren't allowed to go into work.

I had a bus run into the back of my car on the way to work when I was 3 months pregnant. After swapping details I carried on into school and taught a full day. If someone had told me to go home and see the doctor and sort out a hire car it would have been really appreciated.

merlottits Fri 14-Dec-12 12:38:58

Gosh OP I get it. I have been walking to work and half hoped I could be involved in some kind of minor accident. I actively used to fantasize about the lift I was in, taking me to my floor, would break down as I would rather spend THE WHOLE DAY stuck in the lift than be at work.

As the lift doors opened every day I would think "damn you you fucking reliable lift"

I'm a nurse.

FirstTimeForEverything Fri 14-Dec-12 12:46:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pooka Fri 14-Dec-12 12:46:28

I'm a SAHM (one dc not at school, 2 are) and I often get this.

Pre dcs I was a bit nonplussed when my mother was recalling with fondness a bout of flu that meant that my older brothers were taken away by their grandparents for a fortnight.

God, I understand now what she meant.

I had really bad tonsillitis a couple of years ago. Hideous pain and just grim. But I look back and just think of all the sleep and me being alone in bed at night and reading in early hours when I couldn't sleep, and the dcs being kept away.

I've thought about it, and i think very light appendicitis might be reasonable. My friend had hers out last year and was in hospital for a few days. She said it was brill!! (once pain under control).

Spinkle Fri 14-Dec-12 12:57:53

Feeling your pain OP. I had a bunion op last year and had a lovely 6 weeks on the sofa. I didn't miss school at all and I was relieved of childcare duties at home. It was just what I needed to recharge my batteries.

NettoHoHoHoSuperstar Fri 14-Dec-12 13:01:41

I thought that too until I developed an illness which involves hospital stays.
The food is rank, they are often dirty, you get no decent sleep and not all of the staff are nice.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Fri 14-Dec-12 13:03:45

I loved it when the lights went out really early and all I had to do was sleep.
And I didn't mind the early wakening either, I'd get my coffee in bed and could doze of again.grin.
I'm so sorry for everybody that have had bad stays in hospitals, all my nurses were amazing.
thanks to all you lovely nurses out there, IME the vast majority of you are wonderful and caring.

Meglet Fri 14-Dec-12 13:36:42

Yanbu (don't bloody well do it though).

I had to have a hysterectomy 3yrs ago. Once I knew I was alive afterwards I spent a couple of days sleeping off the GA and morphine. I was actually excited to not have to do anthing for 6 weeks. Was a much happier, better mum once I recovered as I'd recharged my batteries.

I've had a couple of GA's recently for IBS, to be fair I hate having them as it's so scary but it's such bliss being able to get a decent hours sleep and relax for a while.

MummytoKatie Fri 14-Dec-12 14:11:25

It's the lack of guilt that makes it wonderful! That for once you can not do anything and it is not your fault and that you will not have to pay for your lovely time off with dh having an equivalent time off in the future!

About 18 months ago I had just gone back to work when dd caught a stomach bug. Dh went to work in the am whilst I would I. The pm. At about 10 am I started throwing up. When the phone rang at 11am and it was dh saying he was on his way home as he'd been made redundant and escorted out of the building my first thought was "thank god for that - he can look after dd".

PessaryPam Fri 14-Dec-12 15:04:02

It's not just teachers, I remember feeling like that quite often when the kids were younger. I actually fantasised about being old and moving to a retirement home where all the meals and washing etc were done for you!

LoopsInHoops Fri 14-Dec-12 15:14:44

Sorry to link to another thread, but this has inspired me to ask a short survey, if anyone's interested.

cory Fri 14-Dec-12 15:21:07

In hospital you don't have to do any work when you're woken up in the middle of the night; you can roll over and go back to sleep.

Having spent several nights lately having to talk for hour after hour to a suicidal and at times hallucinating child and then doing a full day's work, I think I could just about cope with the night nurse coming round a couple of times in the night with my pills. If I could have a few days of guilt free rest without fear, I wouldn't be quibbling about the quality of the food or a bit of noise on the ward.

I'd be all for the short hospital stay- except I'd be so bloody frightened about what was happening to dd if I wasn't there.

Whether a hospital stay would be better or worse depends on your current quality of life. Mine atm is pretty bloody low.

dingdongMadHairDayonhigh Fri 14-Dec-12 15:28:44

Yabu. I'm on my 11th day in hospital with pneumonia and it's not a nice rest at all.

I have some sympathy. I was a teacher and remember the absolute never ending ness of it all.

But my daydream would be not to be disabled and unable to work and able to put my feet up whenever I like. That's. Fairly overrated. Mine would be to be able to teach again.

Just another perspective, but realise this is heavily influenced by this shit stay in hospital.

cory Fri 14-Dec-12 16:31:23

That sounds horrible, MadHair sad

Please have some wine and flowers. And hope you feel better soon.

dingdongMadHairDayonhigh Fri 14-Dec-12 16:48:26

Thanks cory. Though I may save the wine until my iV course is ended grin

TheLightPassenger Fri 14-Dec-12 17:06:42

I know this is meant to be light hearted, but this is one of the saddest threads I have ever seen on here, the quiet despair of women who are so exhausted that a hospital stay seems appealing and a treat.

TheLightPassenger Fri 14-Dec-12 17:07:35

cory/madhair - sorry you are both having a rotten time.

whathasthecatdonenow Fri 14-Dec-12 18:34:02

This was how I knew I had to go to the doctor about being depressed. I was chatting to someone through their car window and I wanted them to run over my foot and break it so that I'd have to have some time off. It took all of my willpower to move it out of the way.

I've been throwing up today, not a bug but a balance thing, but because I had about an hour between bouts I didn't feel ill enough to have a day off without feeling guilty. The cover lady answers the phone at this time of year and says 'I can't cover you!' but if you are in hospital you know they will have to accept it. When I ended up in hospital on a drip due to the constant vomiting it was awful, but everyone was very sympathetic and I felt genuinely ill enough not to feel guilty. Today I've just felt ill, but not ill enough, and had to fend off non-stop 'Can we do something for Christmas' questions from over-excited teenagers.

I'd just like some sleep for Christmas.

cherrypez Fri 14-Dec-12 18:40:17

Totally agree with Larks...Esme the PGCE was the hardest year of my life, rivalled only by the NQT year. I have also wished for a sick bug/flu/ any illness which would buy me a couple of days of marking in bed. I have lots of kids and am absolutely shattered, but I wouldn't do any other job smile The perks and benefits far outweigh the bad bits.

FromEsme Fri 14-Dec-12 18:50:17

Thanks larks35 - I think what worries me post-PGCE is the fact that these kids are totally relying on me. At the moment, if things aren't going too well, I know there's a professional in the room with me who can pick up some of the slack and teach what needs to be taught.

MrTumblesCrackWhore Sat 15-Dec-12 22:12:25

madhair sorry you're having such a tough time but this thread is about minor illnesses and pneumonia is definitely not minor. We're only fantasising about a short, worry free hospital stay.

I also don't think this is a sad thread, just a wry, realist one. I don't think many people could say they haven't wanted to run away from something for a short time if they could. The vital thing is any of us rarely do. Everyone fantasises/imagines how aspects of their lives could be better - this doesn't mean we 're all clinically depressed, dysfunctional human beings.

DuddlePuck Sat 15-Dec-12 22:44:13

Another teacher who totally gets it. We had Ofsted visit a few weeks ago. It was a frosty morning and I found myself hoping for a small skid and bump - nothing major, just enough to have to go to hospital to get checked out. My downside is that I am long-term supply. If I don't go in, I don't get paid sad I don't even have any DC but my Christmas 'break' is already pretty much fully booked; the garden looks like Steptoe's yard, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in weeks, I have a million loads of laundry to do and the loft needs insulating and has done for years

I was actually wondering today how on earth people teach FT and have children as DH and I are hoping to start TTCing soon. It made me cry in the filthy shower sad

MulleredWhines Sat 15-Dec-12 22:47:10

Nurse, single parent, abusive Ex, relentless court battles over child contact. It's relentless. Sometimes I would like to bow to the pressure and admit that it's all too much. I am fighting so hard to keep all the balls in the air and I just want to sleep for a whole night and have a lie in next day sad I know I should stop putting a brave face on, my physical health is suffering and I am falling into a bad place with regards my mental health.

But tomorrow is a new day. And this show must go on

VivaLeBeaver Sat 15-Dec-12 22:49:36

Last year I booked myself into a 5star hotel for two nights. Best £240 I've ever spent.

Three days and two nights of sleep, tv, book reading, chocolate with the odd wander down to the pool in the basement.

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo Sat 15-Dec-12 23:39:44

I know the feeling - also work in a school (support staff), although I have to disagree that Autumn term is the hardest. For me it's summer term that is the absolute bastard. Every year I forget and every summer I'm shock at how exhausting and how much of a pita it is.

And next year the second half of it is nearly 8 weeks long...

<<sobs into large glass of wine>>

EuphemiaInExcelsis Sun 16-Dec-12 09:10:19

I hate next term - twelve long weeks with only two days off in the middle. (We don't do "half term" in Scotland.) The weather's pish, it can still snow at any time, and there's sod-all to look forward to.

Luckily this year I'm starting a new job after Christmas, so I'm excited about next term!

OhMerGerd Sun 16-Dec-12 09:11:44

I have felt so much guilt for thinking like this and I've chastised myself by saying if I did get ill and died leaving the DDs motherless I would have brought it on myself. I fantasise about conditions that are serious enough to warrant treatment and staying off work but not life threatening, yet elicit sympathy so boss doesn't expect me to be "working from home" taking calls and email. Also and i am quite quite ashamed to add, this illness must have as a requirement that I am only allowed to do a little light housework during time off (otherwise DH would swing into I have a SAHW mode and I'd find myself building the shed that we've not had time to put up, painting the house, laying a new path etc as well as all the cooking cleaning and general guff that goes into maintaining a home).
Sigh .... So far I've come up with - emergency hysterectomy! (Obviously only any good if you don't want any more DC ).
Writing it down I am more ashamed to be thinking about such things ... I am... But also so knackered and hacked off and burned out that I will admit that being hospitalised for an emergency op and subsequent recouperation time is a more appealing fantasy than anything the Mr Shades of grey bloke could dream up ( not even had time to read the book).

VivaLeBeaver Sun 16-Dec-12 10:20:03

I have actually considered telling my gynae consultant that my endometrial ablation didn't work as he said the next step would be a hysterectomy. 12 weeks off?

But then I did think that having unnecessary major surgery which would put me into an early menopause might be a bit extreme.

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo Sun 16-Dec-12 10:28:56

I had 4 weeks off after gallbladder removal - first ten days of which involved doing very little I as was sleeping about 15 hours a day.

That was quite nice...

Tanith Sun 16-Dec-12 10:52:19

I've always thought the Autumn term is much too long, especially for those little ones in Reception who have only just started school.
Everyone ends up tired, stressed and ill for the much too short Christmas holidays.
Maybe a longer half term is the answer, like a lot of the private schools do.

I don't recommend hospital for a relaxing break, though. Not these days!

thebody Sun 16-Dec-12 11:46:01

We had no water in school last week so kids couldn't stay. It was an early Christmas fucking miracle.

When I was a student nurse many moons ago and very drunk I allowed another nurse to smack me in the knee with a plug lead in order to get a minor injury which could require a day off.

Being a big girl she whacked me a bit too hard and smashed several ligaments which required surgery and much pain...

Still I did get time off..

Meglet Sun 16-Dec-12 12:34:24

shock thebody. Be careful what you wish for and all that!

FromEsme Sun 16-Dec-12 12:37:42

thebody I literally walk to the school gates every morning PRAYING for something like the water not being on. Anything! I don't care!

waitingtobeamummy Sun 16-Dec-12 12:48:37

I work in a school (behaviour support) and I've got to have explorative op which means I get to finish day and half early. Grotty op but makes it worth finishing early smile

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