to ask if your Christmas is looking very similar to the Asda mums?

(72 Posts)
kim147 Thu 13-Dec-12 11:35:48

So far...

Or are you working as a team with your OH smile

Latara Thu 13-Dec-12 11:40:44

Got no OH, just close family, going out for dinner on Xmas day to a restaurant for the first time ever & really looking forward to it! (after 3 shitty Xmas days in 3 years it should be good!)


BatCave Thu 13-Dec-12 11:41:45

Oh good god no

blackeyedsusan Thu 13-Dec-12 11:45:08

in that I do everrything... yes... single parent, caring for elderly mum... ex who is incapable of organising a piss-up in a brewery. not having family roungd though. just ex, and mum.

N0tinmylife Thu 13-Dec-12 11:47:29

Nope, we are going to my Mums this year, but the years we have Christmas at home DH does all the cooking, while I drink wine assist.

3ismylot Thu 13-Dec-12 11:48:26

Nothing Like it grin

DH will be doing all the cooking ( I cook too but DH loves doing the christmas lunch)

Arcticwaffle Thu 13-Dec-12 11:50:54

No. DP will do the supermarket shopping, DBil the cooking, DP and dd2 have done all the decorating, DP and I share the present buying, and I'm drawing up a Christmas Chores list for all dc and adults to sign up to (peeling veg, etc).
I view my job as stocking filling, mulled wine making, and a bit of menu-planning.

am boycotting asda since that add too.

MrsKeithRichards Thu 13-Dec-12 11:51:25


BertieBotts Thu 13-Dec-12 11:52:14


I have done hardly anything shock

DP will be home in a week and will probably go Christmas mad grin

goldenlula Thu 13-Dec-12 11:55:12

So far I have done all the present shopping, I prefer it that way. I have written all the cards. I will probably do the food shop as dh is working and we have a busy weekend before Christmas. Dh will prepare the potatoes and veg and will help with the cooking. I will also do most of the wrapping of presents. Dh will put together anything that needs putting together on Christmas Day!

whistlestopcafe Thu 13-Dec-12 11:58:49

No there isn't really that much to do. We don't have any visitors.

I have done most (90%) of the present buying although dh has been traipsing around London getting the hard to find items.

We don't ponce about making complicated meals on Christmas day. We buy stuff that you can bung in the oven so no hassle there.

HolofernesesHead Thu 13-Dec-12 11:59:24

No! grin Iam doing things slowly, as much in advance as poss, with dh and the dc all doing things that are age- and ability-(!) appropriate. On Christmas Day we'll all pitch in together to get the meal ready, table laid (that's the dcs' dept), fire stoked etc. It's the best way! (IMHO)

MrsKeithRichards Thu 13-Dec-12 11:59:34

I've not set foot in one shop.

whistlestopcafe Thu 13-Dec-12 11:59:41

Forgot to add that Dh will make the cards and do all of the wrapping.

Yes, but only because I want to and I like to be prepared. Dh would do anything I asked or needed doing but he doesn't give a monkeys bollock about the 'extras' like new christmas decorations or wreaths as the ones in the loft would be fine. And he's right, they would be fine.

He's not remotely interested in sitting on his arse and the day the schools finish (he's last, it's 4.40 on the 21st for him) he's mine and available - before that he has a massive amount of coursework to get back to students.

I think the question is "Is that guy in the Asda advert busy doing something else" or is he avoiding doing the family work. Even the question at the end isn't bad - he's simply asking 'what's for tea' - in my house DH asks that and in my house it's shorthand for 'have you already planned anything or shall I pop in the kitchen and get started on cos I'm already peckish'.

If you're married to someone who avoids doing the family work then you picked badly.

ToriaHosannaHeadacheChelsea Thu 13-Dec-12 12:00:20

Yes. I do the food shopping, present shopping, wrapping and card writing and were we at home I'd do all the cooking too. As it is I just need to find a big enough turkey an store it in my freezer as we're all going to my aunt's this year.

If it was left to him we'd eat Tesco frozen party food and mince pies (and an awesome pudding full of whisky), presents, such as they were (he still has to order for the ONE person I left him to get for) would be handed over in their carrier bags and nobody would get cards.

In his defense he would much rather put all the toys together, find batteries, tidy up after me, make sure everyone has drinks and snacks, do trips to the garage for more beer and do various other jobs I don't want to do, and I enjoy organising, shopping and cooking so it's no great loss to me!

ToriaHosannaHeadacheChelsea Thu 13-Dec-12 12:02:42

Laurie I think you and I are saying the same thing, though my DH hasn't yet worked out when his school finishes and is, as I type, marking mock papers during his free period.

Sianilaa Thu 13-Dec-12 12:03:29

Nothing like Asda's version! I've also boycotted Asda since that ad..

DH has done all the decorating, we've shared all the shopping and wrapping. I've done the cards. We made a shopping list together and he's sorted the Xmas food shop online and will unpack it all. I'll do the cooking but DCs and DH will set table, do drinks, prepare veg, etc.

We're very much a team.

TeWisBeenNargledByTheMistletoe Thu 13-Dec-12 12:04:14

I have done almost all of it so far.

However I will do bugger all on the day (bar pitching in with the washing up) as DH will take over as supreme host/chef.

bellechristmas Thu 13-Dec-12 12:04:16

Not at all, DH does the food, I am in charge of playing with the children and the carving of the turkey. All shopping done online so no dashing round the shops.

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 12:06:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BornToFolk Thu 13-Dec-12 12:07:10

Not really. I'm single so that means I'm doing all the prep but that's fine, not much to do as it'll just be three of us (me, mum and DS) for Christmas dinner and then my dad's joining us for tea.

I think Christmas Day should be a fairly relaxed affair, mum and I will cook lunch together, DS can pitch in peeling veg etc and tea is going to be mainly cheese and crackers and snacky bits so just needs bunging on the table.

I've done 90% of the present shopping online and had it delivered to work. Wrapping has been done in a few batches while watching telly in the evenings. My sister took us to get the tree last weekend (don't have a car!) and me and DS had a lovely time decorating it. ExP and I used to bicker about getting is straight but this year I just whacked it in the stand. I find the most stressful bit of Christmas is making and icing a Christmas cake so I've decided not to bother this year.

I've made a conscious effort NOT to be stressed this year as it's going to be a difficult one anyway (first Christmas since Exp left) and so far, it's worked! I'm focusing on the nice times I'm going to have with family and friends and making it as lovely for DS as I can.

KenLeeeeeeeInnaSantaHat Thu 13-Dec-12 12:07:18

Nope, a nice even split here. He's been watching YouTube videos on how to bake so he can help me make the Yule Log too, bless him.

whistlestopcafe Thu 13-Dec-12 12:08:23

What a nightmare TSC angry. Can you and your dm exchange the gifts you have bought?

ZeldaUpNorth Thu 13-Dec-12 12:08:43

Yep, i've done all xmas shopping, will be doing the food shop, cooking dinner (i prefer to do it while dp builds all the toys up/wrestles them out of the packaging wink ) He does help tidy up on the day before guests come though (probably more than me actually as i'm a slob)

Jingleflobba Thu 13-Dec-12 12:11:32

So far yes. And I will get my arse handed to me on a plate for this but I enjoy organising Christmas!! I will do the dinner on the day but DH and the DC's will wash up and clear away. Then we start all over again for the party we're having in the evening.
DH doesn't like Christmas at all so he is happy to hand it over to me and I am happy to do it. The only thing that will piss me off is that as usual MIL will try and give him all the credit. Thankfully he holds his hands up and points her in my direction grin

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 12:20:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zaphod Thu 13-Dec-12 12:21:23

Yes, as usual. And the worst part is when he falls asleep on the sofa after our Christmas eve party, having had one too many, leaving me to heft down the Santa gifts from the attic, and fill our 5 dcs's stockings singlehandedly, having done the buying and wrapping. I could mention the Christmas where the one thing I asked was that he turn the tap on in the kitchen so the pipes wouldn't freeze, he claims he didn't hear ad we were without water for 6 days (including Christmas Day)

PeshwariNaan Thu 13-Dec-12 12:23:17

No, DH does most of the cooking on Christmas (though it's me the other days of the year). He gets a kick out of scheduling it all and doing the turkey. I do potatoes, cranberry sauce, veg, etc. but essentially we work together. How could anyone possibly do it alone?! Even with the two of us it takes 8 bloody hours!!

That said I'll be 37 weeks pregnant this year so I expect him to do most himself...

Badvocsanta Thu 13-Dec-12 12:27:12 some ways.
I do all the shopping (online)
I wrap it all.
I do the food shopping and cook it.
Dh does the dishes.
I usually get to have a nap at some point.
If dh wants tea on Xmas day he knows me well enough by now that he gets whatever he makes himself!
The only thing dh has to organise is my gifts and he usually leaves that til Xmas eve smile
Oh TSC...that's so crap sad can you and your dm return yours? as your mil is being a cow about it and get them something else?
I deal with pils and sil directly. Learnt that long ago!...

MsVestibule Thu 13-Dec-12 12:35:05

TheSecondComing why are raging at your MIL? Surely this is solely the fault of your DH confused. And if it happens every year, why haven't you done anything to stop it from happening every year?

MyNameIsLola Thu 13-Dec-12 12:36:56

Absolutely not.

I have done most of the present buying because I have more time to shop, I will write the cards because DH's handwriting is bloody awful.

We put the decorations and tree up as a family at the weekend and the cooking will be up to him on both Christmas day and for our annual big Boxing Day party, although I will pitch in a little between untwisting those bloody wires on the boxes of toys and assembling train sets.

akaemmafrost Thu 13-Dec-12 12:39:54

I don't have an OH and my children won't eat Christmas Dinner, they'll have their favourite meals for lunch Pizza for one and a little buffet for the other (both ASD).

All presents are bought, not wrapped yet though, shopping order booked for 23rd, little trip to M&S for some nice things for me and a bottle of wine a couple of days before at 9.00 am to avoid crowds and that's it. I am all over it this year.

Colliecollie Thu 13-Dec-12 12:52:55

Nothing like it!!

Treats Thu 13-Dec-12 12:53:37

No! Nothing like it. I've bought presents for my family and he's bought presents for his - although we discuss it between us and remind each other and he did a big Amazon order which was full of stuff for both sides.

I've bought and wrapped some things for DD's stocking and he's been gradually adding to the stash with a few things that he thinks she'll like.

I sent cards to my family members on Sunday, and he wrote cards for his family and friends on Tuesday night. I'm going to do my friends' cards this w/e.

He took DD out on Saturday to get the tree and also bought a wreath which he then spent the afternoon prettying up with extra baubles.

I made some bread sauce and cranberry sauce for the freezer last week. We'll all go to do a Big Shop together this weekend and get stuck into some cooking for the freezer together on Saturday pm - DD will help with the tree biscuits. On the day we'll have a schedule and divvy up the tasks - which will include something for everyone to do (10 in all) including DD - mainly because I know everyone will offer and it's better to have thought in advance what would be helpful.

It's much more fun to do it all together imo. If I was doing it all myself, we wouldn't HAVE tree biscuits or home made bread sauce - I'd be too stressed and knackered and would have to cut corners.

youarewinning Thu 13-Dec-12 12:53:39


Another singleton here with just 1 DS (aged 8). He has helped with tree and decs and will help with mad dash clean up op for 'the big day!' over the weekend. I work in a school so both of us don't break up until Friday and will attempt to do as much washing and ironing and packing away as I can until Sunday evening as I refused to do it the 3 days over Christmas.

I have friend and her DC's over on Christmas eve and will do a little buffet and Elves will visit! Christmas morning will be breakfast at home with DS and then Mum and dads for Christmas lunch with them and my sister, brother and nephew. Boxing day will be back at mums for another meet up and my brothers girlfriend will be there so we exchange gifts with her.

ChristmasIsAcumenin Thu 13-Dec-12 12:55:14

I have done everything except bought my own presents and I think DP has bought my dad's present. I always do it all but I don't actually find it in the least stressful or time consuming (freakish, I know, I'm sorry!). I just sort of got the hang of it when I was about 25 and now it's sorted. I do everything online, except baking, obviously.

Sometimes I cook two full Christmas dinners on the day (one at dad's house, one for DP here). This year my brother will cook my dad's so I'm just cooking DPs. I always eat two dinners. grin Glutton!

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Thu 13-Dec-12 13:04:29

For now yes. DH announced that, because he is so busy with work, I am in charge of Christmas this year.

And I thought Santa was... Argh. Where do I find a sleigh and six flying reindeers?

As for the more mundane bits of Christmas, I am doing cards, decorating, shopping.

MIL will do dinner and BIL is sorting out crackers etc, so the actual day is team work.

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 13:12:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lemonylemon Thu 13-Dec-12 13:16:17

TSC To be honest, in future I wouldn't bother telling him what you've organised for the kids. Let him and his bloody mother figure something out for themselves. Time to stop being helpful....

elfyrespect Thu 13-Dec-12 13:27:39

Mine is. I'm in the middle of sewing tinsel onto an angel dress right now.
I hate admitting it on here though - it's like you're some sort of loser.

I deal with the school related stuff anyway and there's a lot of school related christmas stuff.
And being quick to defend myself: I am currently on maternity leave while DH is at work. And, having a new baby, I am keen to be ahead of the game this year.

SantaWearsGreen Thu 13-Dec-12 13:28:53

I actually do think asda 'martyr' mums still exist, or at least mums (or dads) who have no choice but to do everything through seperation, death or oh working long hours/away. I don't think it is THAT unrealistic.

My mum and nan are both total martyrs. Oh I am so tired, stressed, nobody helps etc. 'Do you want some help' No I was about to do it anyway or when you do help 'oh ffs you're not doing it right, let me do it'.

I refuse to be like that. DH wraps because I am the worlds worst wrapper, we 50/50 do the cooking or one cooks and the other washes up, I do the present buying but I do it all online.. I think that is it.

Allegrogirl Thu 13-Dec-12 13:32:26


I have done the present shopping because a) I enjoy it b) I'm better at it c) I'm part time so have more time to do it. I have also done the majority of card writing because DH just isn't bothered.

DH hoovered and cleared a space for the tree while I went out and bought it. He did the window and tree lights while I helped the DDs to decorate.

We're spending Christmas with the in-laws but DH and I will cook together (MIL not a great cook) whilst GPs entertain children. MIL and FIL will tidy and wash up.

The most irritating thing about the Asda ad is the way mum shops, cooks and washes up single handed, and doesn't even get a proper chair at the table!

Sonatensatz Thu 13-Dec-12 13:33:41

Well, I do all the christmas shopping and wrapping, because I enjoy choosing presents and dh is rubbish at choosing presents.

This year we're at my parents where my brothers will be dominating the kitchen (1 is a chef) and my mum will be trying hard to get a look in as she loves cooking. Dad will be in charge of the washing up I'll offer to help and get turned down 'cause I'm not up to his standard

If we were at home I'd do all the cooking but Dh would do the washing up.

TwinklingWonderland Thu 13-Dec-12 13:34:02

No. Dp is as offended by the advert as me. He does at least half the cleaning and housework, probably more, but then I tend to do more of dc bedtimed etc

PrincessMononoke Thu 13-Dec-12 13:35:15

No not really, I have done more of the present shopping, but everything else we will split.

StuntGirl Thu 13-Dec-12 13:39:41

Nothing like it. Thank god.

Well I loathe advert, but its so far rather accurate.
I've bought the presents, ordered the food, made decorations with the kids etc.
He only has to buy something for me and his mum. Hasn't done either yet.
But he will be washing up on Xmas day, and to be fair I'm at home and he's not.

As a single parent the work is all down to me.

However I have opted out of being a martyr. I am not having any ungrateful presumptuous guests round this year expecting to be waited on, riling me and overstaying their welcome.

I am enjoying it just me and DS and some simple food. Oh and I will have him all day and night as it seems his dad is opting out of seeing his little boy on Christmas Day this year. Useless wanker. So I shall also get to snuggle up and watch Doctor Who with him Christmas night too.

diddl Thu 13-Dec-12 13:41:49

We´re not working as a team.

I´m going away & leaving it all up to him to sort out.

Annunziata Thu 13-Dec-12 13:44:19


BridgetBidet Thu 13-Dec-12 13:45:52

No. I don't think I've ever seen one that was either, the blokes in my family and my in laws all pull their weight and do more than their fair share at Christmas.

And this year it's at my father in laws and there will be 3 men there and me, they are going to do all the work and I am going to look after my baby drink Baileys.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Thu 13-Dec-12 14:13:02

DH and I are both run off our feet at the moment with a combination of Xmas preparations and having recently moved house (and country!). I am probably doing a bit more Xmas stuff and he is doing more house stuff but we are both contributing equal amounts of effort and having equal nonexistent amounts of downtime.

There is not a chance in hell one of us would ever let the other cook all the Xmas dinner, sit on a shitty pouffe instead of a chair, and then do all the washing up. I remain fucking SHOCKED that anybody thinks that doing both the cooking and the washing up on Xmas day is acceptable. Only if you're a fucking martyr doormat.

MummyPig24 Thu 13-Dec-12 14:16:59

I'm fairly relaxed. I've done all my shopping and wrapping. I suppose oh will finish his mum and dads stuff at some point, he likes to do that himself. I've done my Christmas cards. I need to make the dessert for Christmas day to take to my nans so there's really not much to do. If dd wasn't so poorly I'd be really excited!

ChristmasIsAcumenin Thu 13-Dec-12 14:23:22

Sigh. Here we go. Dial down the insults, thank you, HoldMeCloser. I'm not a martyr doormat. My DP is paralysed from the neck down.

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Thu 13-Dec-12 14:27:11

Good grief no. DH and I do equal shares in housework and childcare, Christmas is no different.

impty Thu 13-Dec-12 14:29:50

Yes. But I mostly shop online so food and presents is easy.

Dh works long hours and I don't work. So I do Christmas. When the pil leave after Christmas I will have my break. Dh will treat me like a Queen! grin

I don't do the martyr act. Dc's, pil's and dh will be asked to chip in during the festivities.wink

My hard work is always noted and thanks given, so I'm happy to do it!

jinglebellyalltheway Thu 13-Dec-12 14:30:36

asda mums definitely exist, and they seem to mostly like it that way other than a couple of years when they have a melt down about it but most of the time they don't allow their OH's in "their" kitchen etc

in our house I do the presents/cards/wrapping etc and usually the meal planning but on the day DH is much calmer in the kitchen then me so he does the actual cooking. He does the christmas shopping food too but with a list I give him. He also does the washing up

TapirAroundTheChristmasTree Thu 13-Dec-12 14:35:34

No - I write the list, dh does most of the shopping, he and the dcs decorated and wrapped, he insists on doing the big dinner, and I get to approve their hard work and make xmas morning breakfast.

Everything else is equally shared out.

zlist Thu 13-Dec-12 14:38:03

DH is trying this year - he can clearly see that I am completely uninterested in the whole thing. He took a couple of hours off today (I had a half-day) to come with me whilst finished buying for the DC (last chance before xmas to do this without them). He was going to get something for his parents then too but we both lost interest and came home! He can sort that out next week as he has the week off - in fact I expect he will do quite a lot next week. I just have to stop insisting it is done my way and let him get on with it I think.
We had scaled Christmas right back to almost only the things that we enjoy as a family but unfortunately more of the obligation stuff has creeped back in this year.

Pancakeflipper Thu 13-Dec-12 14:40:06

Yes. I have a spreadsheet for pressies and everything. And that reminds me DP has the responsibility of cracker buying and I haven't checked up on how this is going...

Hobbitation Thu 13-Dec-12 14:43:06

Well, I'm doing most of the present buying and wrapping, but with joint money and I have a lot more free time than DH does. DH and DDs put up the decorations. I only buy presents for about ten people anyway. I don't have to do any cooking as we are going round to PIL. I wont be sitting on a small poof there smile DPs are staying with us, but they do ten times a year anyway so it's no different. I feel very relaxed about everything.

Backtobedlam Thu 13-Dec-12 14:50:40

Ours is pretty much like the asda advert pre-christmas day...present buying, shopping, writing cards, on my own with kids. all changes on christmas day-last year dh and his friend did the potatoes, mum and gran did the veg, and dad and grandpa did the table, sisters did extra bits, literally all I did was put the turkey in the oven and take it out again (dh carved it) then sat back and took the praise, while everyone complemented the dinner and then offered to clear up!

drownangels Thu 13-Dec-12 14:55:12

Dh putting the decorations up this weekend and doing some food shopping. I'm doing the cards Friday
D h makes Christmas dinner
Dh has ordered the big presentsim going to the trafford centre for shopping on Monday

I'll do the wrapping next week when the house us empty.
Same as every year!

Lemonylemon Thu 13-Dec-12 14:56:01

I'm definitely like the ASDA mum! Pretty much most of the stuff gets done by me. But then, I'm on my own with two DC. However, over the years, the Baileys and mince pie for Santa is now done by DS & DD; Christmas dinner has evolved into pre-stuffed turkey breast joint with Jamie Oliver's roast veggies plus other bits and bobs; the washing up is done by DS (very, very badly - but it's a start); DD helps to lay the table and clear it again afterwards; they both have to keep the place tidier than they normally do.

But if I did have a partner and after all that, he turned round and asked what was for tea, he'd get a swift kick to the gonads.

lemonmuffin Thu 13-Dec-12 15:04:53

Very similar yes. As is my best friends, my mums and countless other women I know.

stubbornstains Thu 13-Dec-12 15:08:03

No way. I couldn't cope with horrible overhead lighting like that grin

Am already mulling over potential tasks for every family member on the day.

New boyfriend will be making his wonderful Thai seafood soup for dinner on Christmas Eve not that he knows that yet

kim147 Thu 13-Dec-12 20:28:44

Little bump for the evening crowd (who've probably had to find time this evening to go to the delivery office for presents)

XBenedict Thu 13-Dec-12 20:29:54

Yep pretty much the ASDA mum Xmas here too - but I love it! grin

cory Thu 13-Dec-12 20:48:15

Not really. A Swedish Christmas dinner is more of a buffet meal, so we will all be pitching in- large extended family, and then we have an English turkey dinner cooked by dh the day after. Washing up doesn't really seem too much of a chore, seeing that whoever doesn't wash up will be dragged out for long strengthening walks by my db, in order to gather energy for dancing round the Christmas tree.

cheeseandbiscuitsplease Thu 13-Dec-12 21:58:21

Yes. That woman on the advert is me. Completely. My husband is lovely and far from
Lazy, he's a brill daddy and always doing something but organising Christmas is down to me.

webfizzystuff Thu 13-Dec-12 22:10:04

I have done everything so far and DH has had a last minute business trip away for a week last week and has worked till 11pm every night this week so it looks he'll be spending the weekend snoozing rather than usefully contributing to Christmas plans. If I don't do it it doesn't happen.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now