To want to scream my head off at my Nanny for putting my gorgeous new wool jumper in teh dryer!?

(162 Posts)
happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:29:09

Aaargh! It wasn't cheap and I lusted after it and have only worn it once. It was gorgeous and now it is shrunk! I found it hanging next to the dryer where we put the stuff to dry that's not to go in the dryer but obviusly it went into the dryer because there is pink/red (colour of the jumper) in the thing that catches the fluff. It looks like she realised she shouldn't have put it in the dryer and then hung it there to make it look like it had not gone in or half dried it in the dryer and then hung it. I feel like screaming! How will I tell her calmly in the morning....

fossil97 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:31:39

YABU to FEEL mad. DH did similar recently and he was quaking in slippers when he came to tell me.

Have to say your capital N made me think it was your granny, was just about to say poor old thing. I guess it's poor young thing? grin sad for poor jumper.

fossil97 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:31:53

oops YANBU to feel mad I mean

Hassled Wed 12-Dec-12 21:31:59

She cocked up and while it's gutting and I do sympathise, that's all it was - a cock up. She made a mistake - we've all been there. I've done it with my own stuff and been furious with myself.

littlewhitebag Wed 12-Dec-12 21:33:39

Did you wash it or the nanny? Was it hand washed? If it was machine washed then that could have caused to to shrink without it ever going near the dryer. Just ask her politely in the morning how it was washed/dried as it has now shrunk. If she accepts it was her fault could you ask her to pay for a replacement? If it was washed/dried as detailed on the washing instructions and it has still shrunk then return it to the shop?

thebody Wed 12-Dec-12 21:34:10

She probably is quaking and feels bad.. We all make mistakes but feel for you..

StuntGirl Wed 12-Dec-12 21:34:11

I'd be more annoyed if she hadn't told me. Although if this is how you usually overreact no wonder she's tried to hide it from you.

Try calmly asking her and seeing what she says then take it from there.

BumpingFuglies Wed 12-Dec-12 21:34:23

Grip here >>>>

Get one?

apostrophethesnowman Wed 12-Dec-12 21:36:36

If she's your nanny why would she be doing your washing anyway?

Cozy9 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:37:39

If you can afford a nanny you can afford to replace this jumper.

MyChemicalMummy Wed 12-Dec-12 21:39:36

Hope you pay her more to do your washing.

JeezyOrangePips Wed 12-Dec-12 21:41:40

Is it wrong to say I'm slightly jealous? I love a good felted jumper for craft projects...

But if it was my new gorgeous jumper I'd be really annoyed too. My ex dd this to a gorgeous soft blue jumper that I'd only worn once. Hopefully by the time morning comes you will be a bit calmer anyway. I'm sure she feels bad about it, but she really should have told you - I think thats the point you need to emphasise as I'm sure she'll be more careful in future. Well, I know I would be.

TwitchyTail Wed 12-Dec-12 21:42:10

Nothing you can do about it now except be gracious and forgiving, but I'd suggest you have a rule of doing your own laundry in future. I learned the hard way from my tumble-dryer-happy husband.

Icelollycraving Wed 12-Dec-12 21:44:26

Do nannies do family washing? Is it an au pair? Irrelevant really I guess. Can you smooth it out,perhaps reshape it?

SamuelWestsMistress Wed 12-Dec-12 21:44:40

Naughty nanny!

HildaOgden Wed 12-Dec-12 21:46:59

I think you'll have to file this one under 'shit happens'.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 12-Dec-12 21:47:09

'My ex dd this to a gorgeous soft blue jumper that I'd only worn once'

Is that a typo? Or did you disown your DD because she shrank your jumper?!

ifancyashandy Wed 12-Dec-12 21:47:43

if you can afford a nanny, you can afford a new jumper

Ha ha! Maybe the nanny is essential due to working patterns? Maybe she's a Nanny-share? Maybe that's not what she was asking AIBU about?! hmm

Gotta love MN - that post was a guarantee!

BridgetBidet Wed 12-Dec-12 21:50:33

If you're going to have a specific space for stuff you don't want drying wouldn't it make sense not to have that space right next to the dryer, cos it's a bit confusing.

JeezyOrangePips Wed 12-Dec-12 21:51:27

lol! Yes, typo - ex DID this... that's not the reason he's an ex though!

My dd is still very much part of my life.

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:51:33

She didn't tell me but she may not realise it has shrunk. It's not tiny, just smaller but not what it was. I'm so bummed. I'm not going to make her pay for it. I'd never do that but It is just so annoying. I'm pretty sure it was washed properly. The label says specifically not to put it in a dryer. I almost don't want to ask her if she put it in the dryer as it's obvious from the fluff in the catcher that it was (nothing else in the wash is that colour) and then if she says she didn't that would really be bad…. I know it was a mistake (even though I'm always telling her to be careful with the dryer!) but I don't like that it was hanging, as if it is to make it look like it was not put in the dryer….

Stunt girl: I'm venting quite a bit here but do not react like that to my Nanny. I'm actually really soft on my her, really nice. She has quite a strong character and is more likely to give out to me!

Cozy: Yes I can afford to repay her

My chemical: She is more of a Nanny/Mothers help and she is paid VERY well and treated very well…

It's not a question of how much money I have or she gets it's just my spur of the moment reaction. It's just so annoying when you lust after something and it is ruined after wearing it once.

bluebiscuit Wed 12-Dec-12 21:52:44

Well I think it's just one of those things and you'll have to write it off as bad luck. I can see why you are cross and yanbu about that but there's not much you can do about it. It would have been better if she had admitted to it and apologised as she knows she has done it due to where she hung it.

Am absolutely gobsmacked at comments such as - if op can afford a nanny, she can afford to replace jumper. Although probably a fact, it is outrageous to suggest that it's ok to damage stuff so long as it belongs to someone rich shock. I must remember next time I find myself in a rich person's house to steal some bits and pieces. After all, they can afford to replace them so who cares?

SomersetONeil Wed 12-Dec-12 21:53:44

I'm wondering if this is a wind-up, because 'screaming one's head off' at people who help you is, well, I want to say it's such a first world problem, but realise that's twattish...

Your nanny does housework...? hmm

Our au pair doesn't do our washing, only the kids'. Why would she do ours? Be grateful you have a nanny who helps out around the house, and then yes, get a grip. I know you're venting, but you do sound pretty awful! grin

StuntGirl Wed 12-Dec-12 21:54:17

Yes but it was an accident. If it's "barely noticable" then she probably doesn't even realise she's done anything wrong.

JeezyOrangePips Wed 12-Dec-12 21:55:59

If it's only a little shrunk then you should be able to stretch it out again, you need a jumper board - if there are local knitting groups you might be able to find someone that could help you.

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:56:10

Bluebiscuit:You are right, I know I will have to write it off. Reading this thread is already making me do that. So right about the comments about the if you can afford etc. TBH I burst out laughing at that one.

diddl Wed 12-Dec-12 21:59:55

What do you need to tell her?

To read the care instructions in future?

I suppose she was trying to help, but it astounds me that people just assume anything can be chucked into a dryer & don´t check-especially when it´s someone else´s stuff!

YANBU to want to scream but you are venting here so we know you won't! And you would be just as mad if you had done it yourself. I know I have ruined my own stuff before now!

N4NNY Wed 12-Dec-12 22:00:54

Omg you could almost be my employer today I mistakenly put a cashmere blanket in the washing machine and shrunk it. I was gutted when I found it I hung it on the airer to dry but knew if I tried to explain I'd cry so I took the chickens option and text to say sorry when I got home and offered to replace it.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 12-Dec-12 22:02:31

The nanny does "your" washing?

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:04:17

Somerset: It was an AIBU to WANT to scream my head off! Doesn't mean I am actually going to do it probably quite the opposite. Of course I would be just as mad at myself

The only bit of housework she does is throw on a wash and that's because we wash all our stuff together. We don't separate the kids and that was discussed when she took on the job. It takes about 5 minutes to put on a wash and 5/10 to take out one so not really a big deal and I definitely do not think it is unreasonable. I don't see why I should be grateful to her for helping a bit around the house as this was described as part of her job from the beginning. It's not like she cleans or anything else like that. She tells me constantly how much better her job is now compared to her last ones where she was underpaid and more was expected of her.

Au pairs are paid pittance compared to Nanny's so you could probably not expect the same.

AlbertaCampion Wed 12-Dec-12 22:04:51

Ah, first world problems eh? wink

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:05:22

N4NNY: You are so sweet! I am really not going to go bonkers at my Nanny. I'm just gutted about the jumper.

helpyourself Wed 12-Dec-12 22:05:26

Poor you. If it makes you feel any better, I'm expecting a parcel in the post containing what will almost certainly be a slightly too small cashmere jumper. I saw it on line, great price, from £130 down to £30, not available in the right colour, then only xs, then p&p was more than I expected. hmm I should have stopped.
So I will shortly have a slightly too small jumper and no one but myself to blame.

I get your frustration, and it's far better to vent on here and then be reasonable in real life!

I read a de-shrinking tip online somewhere recently - the gist was to hand wash the shrunken item in baby shampoo, then use hair/fabric? conditioner, rinse, and pull the item gently back to size and shape. Dry flat.
Anyhoo, google it!

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:08:24

hepyourself: I shuld just send you mine; What size are you? smile

AfterEightMintyy Wed 12-Dec-12 22:09:46

So she's more like a Housekeeper/Nanny type then?

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:09:54

Tidly: It really is very much about venting but I guess a lot of people don't get it. Oh well. I have read the tips online but then loads of people say it won't work...

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:11:36

She's a Nanny/Mothers help, I work part time and DH works very long hours and travels and we have no family around so if I'm at home she might do some stuff like go to the shop for me or put on a wash (god forbid!) while I take care of the kids.

foreverondiet Wed 12-Dec-12 22:14:34

I have learnt not to put wool jumpers in laundry basket but rather stick them straight into a delicate wash on its own and then hang out - cleaner has shrunk stuff...

I have a nanny and a cleaner, and my nanny would only be doing kids laundry, not ours. Very annoying and def say in future only wash kids stuff.

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:17:20

Foreverondiet: OMG, You have a nanny AND a cleaner and you mention that on here. Brave Woman! smile

We do put the sensitive stuff in a special pile which it was and I think it got washed on a sensitive wash because she is good about that. But she has been a bit 'dryer happy' recently...

NaiceDude Wed 12-Dec-12 22:22:03

Of course it's annoying, I'm hmm at all the weirdos lambasting you about it.

If it was 'WIBU to ACTUALLY scream my head off' we'd all be screaming our heads off at you. I WANTED to scream my head off when I realised ex-DP was using my Clinique soap to wash his hands. The "first world problems" are always the most expensive to rectify!

LibrarianByDay Wed 12-Dec-12 22:22:08

I'd be annoyed too, but I think you have to accept that this sort of thing is the risk you take when you have other people do your work for you.

AfterEightMintyy Wed 12-Dec-12 22:22:28

Thousands of mumsnetters have a nanny and a cleaner.

DowagersHump Wed 12-Dec-12 22:23:29

Don't put precious things in the 'general' laundry basket would be my advice.

And don't tell her - calmly or otherwise. She's supposed to look after your children, not be a laundry expert

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:25:27

Librarian: That's exactly what my DH said! I guess it's true.

All the lambasting is a bit shocking although probably be expected on MN... sort of made me laugh though. I'm really not a spoilt rich b*tch, I swear! I'll have to get my Nanny on here to vouch for me smile

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:26:16

Don't know why I kepp putting a capital 'N' for nanny...

silverfrog Wed 12-Dec-12 22:26:28

blimey, all the chippy hmm posts are a bit OTT, surely?

OP - YANBU.

It happened to me too. It is really irritating. In my case, the nanny wasn't even supposed to be doing my washing, but I was at home and had put a wash on. She wanted to use the machine before I switched from washer to dryer, and bunged the lot in the dryer without checking. It was very annoying (as was having towels wrecked by fake tan too. I suppose that is another 'price you have to pay' when you employ someone hmm)

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:27:44

Dowagers: as explained below she is actually expected to put on a wash - when she's not looking after the children and I am!

LibrarianByDay Wed 12-Dec-12 22:30:54

Happywith3: No, I'm sure you're not. I didn't intend to join in any lambasting in case you think I was. I hide my handwash stuff where my husband won't stumble across it as I'm not prepared to take the risk of him accidentally shrinking it.

happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:34:01

Librarian: No, no I didn't think you were lambasting me! I think I might just tell her not to put my stuff in with the kids but then it takes ages for me to build up a whole wash just for myself and I'll be waiting for stuff IIYSWIM...

BumpingFuglies Wed 12-Dec-12 22:35:15

It's a JUMPER. Chill.

foreverondiet Wed 12-Dec-12 22:36:25

Foreverondiet: OMG, You have a nanny AND a cleaner and you mention that on here. Brave Woman!

I have a nanny as I have a 2 year old a 6 year old and a 9 year old and the cost of a nanny is the same as the cost of an all day nursery for the 2 year old and after school and holiday care for the older two - I "don't get the nanny is only for rich people view that people seem to have."

re: cleaner, DH works v v long hours, and he is not going to come home from work at 10pm and help with cleaning - and he wants to spend his weekends spending time with the DC not cleaning - I do some cleaning as does the cleaner, and I don't mind that DH doesn't do any cleaning.

Different things suit different people depending on circumstances - we don't drink or smoke, and are generally quite mean (eg DH has PAYG phone and rarely spends over £1 a month on it, we make our own lunches and rarely go out - would rather spend any spare money on cleaner.)

whois Wed 12-Dec-12 23:13:29

Aw chalk it down to experience. Be cross inside but don't take it out on the nanny.

I felted a lovely wool jumper once, came out like a little dolls jumper! Sad times.

McPheastOfStephen Wed 12-Dec-12 23:19:41

I have a nanny and a cleaner

She's called my mum grin

cumfy Wed 12-Dec-12 23:30:51

If she fessed up, I wouldn't mind.

She hid it.
Big mistake.

cheekybaubles Wed 12-Dec-12 23:37:52

Bowl of cool water, bottle of cheap hair conditioner. Soak, re-shape. Done. Drama over. smile

Wheresmypopcorn Wed 12-Dec-12 23:38:03

a nanny who does your laundry - how great - although maybe she needs a few lessons or you separate your washing into different piles for different temperatures and treatment.

megandraper Wed 12-Dec-12 23:49:08

Both my nanny and my mum sometimes put on a wash at our house. I have 3 laundry buckets by the washing machine, one for 'coloureds', one for 'whites' and one for 'delicates that no-one but me puts in the machine'. That way there's less mistakes.

I don't think you can ask her to replace it. Best to keep special stuff separate.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Wed 12-Dec-12 23:58:11

It was separated into a 'special' pile and was washed properly (or the OP is pretty sure it was anyway), but it was possibly put into the dryer - who knows, maybe only for a minute, but appears to have been due to the colour of the lint in the dryer.

It might have just shrunk in the wash.

The nanny might have simply hung it there, meaning to mention it when the OP got home and forgot. It happens.

Nannies often do family washing if it's all washed together - it's no big deal. Though most the parents will put the wash in the machine and the nanny will peg it out/put it in the dryer. So a) the nanny is not taking on the whole job of family laundry and b) so the nanny isn't having to deal with 'dirty' adult underwear, only clean. Though I do know one nanny who wont even peg out clean underwear! Weirdo.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 00:00:47

Regardless of the contract, if you don't like the outcome, do it yourself! Presumbly there is always going to be the potential for ruin if she is expected to do some laundry. Why don't you and your husband/partner clean your own mess up - you made it!

silvercup Thu 13-Dec-12 00:07:15

Is this a joke?

Mimishimi Thu 13-Dec-12 04:54:50

Your nanny shouldn't be doing your washing in the first place. Perhaps only that of the children. Get a housekeeper for the housework.

Napsalot Thu 13-Dec-12 05:09:33

I did this when I was a nanny -jumper ended up in pieces when it came out of the washing machine.... It was an honest mistake and I still feel terrible about it -this happened 15 years ago!

Coralanne Thu 13-Dec-12 05:11:58

Some people are being a bit harsh here. The AIBU was how should the OP tell nanny she did the wrong thing.

If she chooses to pay someone well and that person is prepared to do the washing. Well that's the way it is.confused

I used to knit for a very exclusive shop (which I was well paid for) and they sold the knitwear for about 10 times what they paid me. (That was fine by me).

I knitted my DH's nieces a jumper each (took a very long time as was very fine wool and intricate pattern)

Their DM put them in the dryer and after that they were only fit to dress the dolls.

EMS23 Thu 13-Dec-12 05:44:19

YANBU

The reverse snobbery on mumsnet is starting to really irritate and bore me. The merest hint that a poster has a bit of money and in pile the holier than thou crew.

And yes, I know I have a choice and could not read those posts but they seem to crop up in every thread and I'm night feeding a lot at the moment so would die of boredom without MN!!

JeezyOrangePips Thu 13-Dec-12 05:54:58

You are absolutely right EMS. If it had been her dh that shrunk the jumper some of the responses would have been very different.

I find it funny that people think its okay to tell the op what her employee should and should not be doing. That's between the op and the nanny to decide, surely!

Mimishimi Thu 13-Dec-12 06:15:43

Of course it's between the nanny and her to decide. The difference is that a housekeeper will actually be trained in these sorts of things (laundry care, cooking etc) whereas a nanny generally is not. I can see how a nanny could just bundle the whole lot up whilst trying to keep half an eye on the children and not even notice that it was there.

Rudolphstolemycarrots Thu 13-Dec-12 07:07:50

I bet she feels awful!

Kytti Thu 13-Dec-12 07:13:20

apostrophethesnowman - you made me laugh!

Wish I could have a Nanny that did the washing, wish I had a Nanny! lol - Do your own bloody washing, look after your own children! Bahahahahhaaa...

Wouldn't happen in my house, I have four children, one husband and no tumble drier. Get yourself a kitchen maid. Airer I mean. For the ceiling. You'll never shrink anything again.

hf128219 Thu 13-Dec-12 07:15:53

Nanny for childcare
Housekeeper for laundry

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Thu 13-Dec-12 07:20:19

Aw, I bet the nanny is waking up thinking 'oh bollocks, I shrunk her new jumper yesterday sad ' It's very annoying, my DP has done it to me before, but with a very rare new white top, was in washing machine on it's own, just been washed for first time, he threw his filthy work gear in!!! AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!! it was the colour of a muddy puddle sad He just said, 'I'll get you another one babes' Yeah right!!

Anyway, sorry this isn't about me and my forever lost top!!

Say something, but be nice, bet she feels like crap already, and don't take any notice of some of the posts on here, you sound like a nice employer smile

JeezyOrangePips Thu 13-Dec-12 08:27:09

Wouldn't it be lively to have housekeeping training?

Where does one go to be trained in laundry?

EMS23 Thu 13-Dec-12 08:41:08

Kytti striking something out in a post doesn't make it invisible. If you're going to be so rude, at least don't try to hide it or ironically strike it out.

ROFL the unsolicited comments on the OP's childcare/domestic arrangements/nanny duties, so MN!

To the "you sound awful"/"chill" people, are you always calm and zen like about everything? How lovely for you. OP yanbu to want to scream at your nanny but ywbu if you actually did...but you know that, that's why you are venting here smile

Oh also OP, when you hire your housekeeper don't forget the chauffeur for driving, gardener to cut the lawn and live in odd job man to change the lightbulbs...if you can afford a nanny you must be able to afford a legion of suitably qualified household staff hmm

Booboostoo Thu 13-Dec-12 09:03:48

JeezyOrangePig here:
www.theenglishmanner.com/the-household-academy

Plenty of places offer housekeeping courses, why wouldn't they?

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 10:24:06

It's not reverse snobbery. I don't idealistically agree with 'servants'. My SIL has a few. Nanny for the holidays, a cleaner who she was complaining to me about as she'd not wiped the wall near the oven!

Laundry is the worst IMO, someone else dealing with your dirty clothes and underwear- it's degrading. In my mind if you make the mess you clear it up unless you're physically unable to do that. I was a cleaner as a student and I found it degrading so I stopped doing it.

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 10:34:04

Golden, does that also extend to "you grow the hair, so you cut and highlight it"?

My DH put my new LK Bennett wrap dress in the washing machine. Trashed it. I was furious. We are still married! grin

We have APs. Generally they DO NOT do the washing - other than occasionally they will put on boys' stuff / hang clean stuff on the line. I ask them not to use the drier...one enthusastic AP wrecked something of mine. Another (on request) changed the boys' bedding (white / pale blue). And managed to wash cushion covers too - very thick heavy dark blue navy colour. The duvets were band new - and a pretty grim colour. She had no common sense, and did not last very long.

My sympathies OP.

Ah that is a bummer. I remember the day my cousin washed my brand new first ever white Egyptian cotton sheets with a bright red duvet cover, on HOT. The pink sheets made me cry sad. I knew I was being a baby but I couldnt help but be upset.

On the bright side you can now upcycle them into some cosy wrist warmers

lionheart Thu 13-Dec-12 11:12:45

She's probably worried about it or she would have told you.

Unless, of course, she is smaller than you and had an ulterior motive. smile

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 11:28:10

Fives the status of a cleaner is much lower than a hairdresser in society, in fact they are in totally different leagues and that is reflected in the prices that can be charged for haur cuts and the employee rights that they have. Cleaners often do not have the legal protection that their Employers would expect in their own jobs. Hairdressers can and will charge a greater amount of money depending on their skill. A hairdresser can earn as much and a higher hourly rate than their clients depending on where they work. It will not be the case that a cleaner will earn a greater HOURLY rate than their employer on any one job.

Hairdressing is arguably not considered a universal skill so you couldn't do it yourself and it be a good outcome. Cleaning is a universal skill - it can be as good as YOU want it to be but if you employ a cleaner you just don't want to clear up the mess you made yourself- there is no absence of skill stopping you. People therefore pay people less to do this for them and are effectively saying,'I'm too good to do this, you aren't because you'll accept payment for it.'

Annoying but really......you should have washed it and then hung it well away from the dryer so that no confusion happened.

Just wear it and I am sure it will stretch to fit so to speak smile

MuffinPaws Thu 13-Dec-12 11:38:35

You can unfelt to a small degree if you soak the jumper in a mild borax solution overnight then either shape it by tugging or hand it upside down on a washing line and weight it fairly heavily. I have used shoes or something heavy to drag the article down to lengthen it.
Bottled water in the arms if they have shrunk.

I agree with Betty, it will stretch when you wear it.

That's bollocks goldeneye, and an argument you could extend to any number of professions-street cleaners, rubbish collectors? Or do you sort all of that out yourself too because otherwise you are degrading people?

You may have found cleaning degrading, doesn't mean all cleaners do and I doubt many of them would thank you for abolishing their job on moral grounds. Employing a cleaner doesn't mean you consider that you are "too good" to do it yourself, just that for whatever reason, you either don't have the time or inclination to do it and are fortunate enough to be able to pay to get it done. And the person doing it may well feel quite fortunate to be able to have the job!

Btw I am pretty sure that cleaners around my way earn more per hour than many hairdressers!

mrsshackleton Thu 13-Dec-12 12:03:42

When we had nannies, I had a strict rule, she didn't wash my clothes, only dcs and dh. I had a separate laundry basket and did my own washing to avoid such horrors. Though I did manage to sink dd's cashmere cardi the other day blush

AfterEightMintyy Thu 13-Dec-12 12:08:15

I can't imagine letting anyone do my laundry or make my bed. It seems far too intimate to me.

Jins Thu 13-Dec-12 12:22:33

If people stopped having cleaners there would be a lot more people feeling the pinch than there are now.

leobear Thu 13-Dec-12 13:26:12

In a good nanny-employer relationship, the nanny becomes almost like part of the family. I have never asked my nanny to do our washing, but she just does it! She's made a few mistakes (put my suit skirts through the washing machine!!), but I just let them go, because she's so good.

She sees herself as part of our home, and goes the extra mile, doing a bit of cleaning and tidying while baby is sleeping etc.

In return, we think of her needs - she's got a free day off today, because I'm at home and I think she needs a rest + a break from the journey in the freezing cold. If I have a meeting near home, I always come home early and let her go well before the end of the day. It's called give and take, makes the world go round.

And on the cleaner issue - yeah, I'll let my cleaner go then, the week before Christmas, just so she doesn't feel "degraded" hmm

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 13:33:03

I am Goldenbear not eye.

As I said before, cleaning is a UNIVERSAL ability- everyone and anyone (excluding the physically unable) can do it for themselves. You can arguably sort out your own rubbish, take it to the dump but if every person initiated their own rubbish dumping it would be chaotic and detremental to society.

Road sweeping involves the ability to operate a mechanical sweeper, that is not a universal ability. Services like these cannot be left to Individuals who can determine how much effort they put into the work or how good an out come they want. There is a certain standard that needs to be maintained for the health and safety of the communities these services are delivered in- one person acting on their own cannot ensure that so it is not universal capability.

megandraper Thu 13-Dec-12 13:34:37

goldeneyes, there are lots of jobs I don't want to do myself, or can't do as well as someone else does. That includes cleaning, DIY, sewing nametapes and buttons, mowing the lawn, cutting the hedge, ironing and a few more. I've paid people to do all these things for me at one time or another. They've all been fair jobs.

My cleaner at the moment is male. He runs a cleaning company. He and his team are incredibly fast, thorough and efficient. They're not cheap but they are well worth it in my view - means I can work myself during the time I'd otherwise be cleaning. I like my work, so though I don't make much extra once I've paid for cleaning, child-care etc. it is worth it to me.

megandraper Thu 13-Dec-12 13:38:13

sorry goldenbear, not goldeneyes! though that's quite a nice name too <considers namechange>

I suppose it depends whether you feel cleaning is a moral issue. I don't leave the house in a tip, casting my rubbish everywhere and leaving unwashed plates strewn about, because I'm too good to do it and expect someone else to.

But my cleaner and his team dash in with better equipment than I've got, a professional attitude, an efficient methodology (3 of them work together) and get done in 2 hours what would take me 6-8. Cleaning - the way they do it - is very much a professional, skilled job, I think.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 13:38:29

Most people given a choice, a REAL choice would not choose to clean other people's dirty underwear for a living.

megandraper Thu 13-Dec-12 13:39:24

Oh, and my cleaner is planning to send his son to the same private school my DCs go to. He's definitely not a skivvy!

megandraper Thu 13-Dec-12 13:39:49

And he doesn't go near my underwear! Cleaners generally don't, do they?

Bonsoir Thu 13-Dec-12 13:40:59

I don't trust anyone with my washing. There are far too many things that can go wrong all too easily, IMVHO.

mrsshackleton Thu 13-Dec-12 13:45:08

goldenbear - it is a free country, no one HAS to be a cleaner. You didn't like it and left. I cleaned when I was a student to support myself. I had no problem with it. Now I pay someone else to clean. She doesn't appear demeaned, not like she would if I told her I didn't need her any more.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 13:49:37

Are his team sending their children to private school? I can well believe that the accumulative amount for a cleaner who works for themselves may be a good income but the hourly rate is not going to be greater than their client's hourly rate and it is a fabrication to say cleaning is a well paid profession - for most it is not.

I don't see how you could argue it is a profession aswell- in what way is it a profession?

CockyPants Thu 13-Dec-12 13:52:05

I don't trust anyone who doesn't clean their own toilet.
Do your own laundry. Problem solved.
First world problem alert...

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Thu 13-Dec-12 13:54:21

happwith3 YANBU to want to scream your head off, how annoying, especially as you had only worn it once.

What the hell how much you earn or what you ask your nanny/helper to do in your home has got to do with it i have no idea.

Hope you don't feel as fed up about it today.

whois Thu 13-Dec-12 13:55:58

Most people given a choice, a REAL choice would not choose to clean other people's dirty underwear for a living

Bit of a silly comment.

What is a REAL choice?

Your attitude is actually very patronising and demeaning to the many people who clean for a living.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 13:56:59

mrsshackleton well if you did it is a student, you obviously didn't intend it to be your job for life.

How does someone appear when they feel degraded or demeaned?

Bonsoir Thu 13-Dec-12 14:03:05

If you think cleaning someone else's home and doing someone else's laundry is a demeaning job, you have no clue about the demeaning jobs out there.

Lots and lots of young girls where I live are desperate for jobs as housekeepers and childcarers. They don't think they are demeaning - they think they get to spend all day in someone else's very nice home, keeping warm and safe. It is infinitely preferable to all sorts of minimum wage jobs.

valiumredhead Thu 13-Dec-12 14:12:19

Nannies shouldn't do the family washing only their charges. IF they do then you have to expect some cock ups now and again. Next time put aside anything precious so you can do it yourself.

Bonsoir Thu 13-Dec-12 14:17:09

There is no "should" about it (nannies can do anything they and their family agree upon!). But I rest my case: washing is a dangerous business! Outsource at your peril!

NigellasGuest Thu 13-Dec-12 14:21:20

when I was working part time I always took Thursdays off for washing my cashmere.I suggest you have a designated cashmere washing day - HTH

JustFabulous Thu 13-Dec-12 14:25:31

When I was a nanny I was putting a wash on when the phone rang. I rushed incase it was the parent and went against a nagging doubt and pressed start on the machine. Yep, MB's jumper in the machine that wasn't machine washable. She wasn't happy but I begged and pleaded for the shop to try and get me another as it wasn't brand new in. They got me something like a sample but I think she was still annoyed. Every right to be but I tried to rectify it.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 14:27:04

I have quite a big clue actually Bonsoir having worked in a fair few minimum wage jobs myself- 3 factory jobs, bar work, waitress work with an agency where the boss regularly shouted at us for not being quick enough in delivering the food to tables and expect us to scold are arms with hot plates as they didnt provide enough tea towels to cover our arms.

What demeaning jobs have you experience of then?

It is so far fetched to argue that cleaning would be the job of choice for the rest of your life and that it is done by people in this context that have extensive prospects.

It is PATRONISING to play down the real power- relations that exist in these arrangements. Also, this is often done by people who are well aware of those power relations but are trying to convince themselves it's all a level playing field - service provider talk etc!

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 14:35:24

Bonsoir, 'they get to stay all day in someone else's very nice home'. Yes cleaning it, cleaning the crap stains in the loo, oh well least they're warm!

Bonsoir Thu 13-Dec-12 14:38:42

Don't project your own hatred of cleaning onto other people, who may think it is quite cushy to clean someone else's nice comfortable warm home rather than sweep the underground, stack shelves in a supermarket, do bikini waxes, wash hair or any other one of the many millions of repetitive low-level service jobs that are out there.

AfterEightMintyy Thu 13-Dec-12 14:44:10

I would rather be a cleaner than a nanny or childminder, truly. Or telesales, or chugging, or working on a production line ... or any number of other jobs tbh.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 14:48:37

It's not related to my experience at all as my sandwich factory job was the worst low status job I had by far. Removing hot chicken fat from the hot chicken counter at a supermarket was pretty grim to. Believe me washing hair would have been preferable.

For the reasons I explained above I think it is a moral issue- employing a cleaner in a domestic setting.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 14:50:36

It is not about someone's willingness to do it. The question is whether an individual should clean their own private mess up.

Bonsoir Thu 13-Dec-12 14:57:55

Of FGS, employing a cleaner is the moral course of action - it is always better to give someone a job than not to do so.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 15:44:11

In your opinion.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Thu 13-Dec-12 16:15:23

Goldenbear - how old are you?

EMS23 Thu 13-Dec-12 16:30:40

What a funny turn this thread took...

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 16:34:49

Chipping, what have my personal details got to do with the thread? I have opnions that you don't agree with fine then argue intelligently to that effect.

MummytoMog Thu 13-Dec-12 16:53:06

My OH, despite being an intelligent and educated man, STILL gets what can and can't be tumbledried wrong. We are currently on [can't be dried\bras, anything knitted, anything I have made, dresses, trousers] so basically, it's easier just to do it myself...

LetsFaceThePresentsTheyrePants Thu 13-Dec-12 17:06:34

My God this thread title screams 'first world problem'!

I thought it must be a joke/wind up. sad

happywith3 Thu 13-Dec-12 17:17:16

Goldenbear, seriously? She puts a wash on from time to time. I do it a lot more! The nanny is only throwing our stuff in with the kids. I have a cleaner too tbh but she comes once or twice a week.

Of course it was an honest mistake - I was just bloody mad that the jumper shrunk, would have been just as mad at myself!

Conversation with nanny went this morning went as follows: hey we need to be careful what we put in the dryer because my new jumper shrunk. Not a big deal but if you've any doubt leave it aside and I will take care of it. She said oh I only put it in for a few mins and then hung it and thought that would be ok. I said not to worry, no biggie, it could happen to anyone and showed her what the drying symbol looks like on case she didn't know. That was it. I didn't actually scream at her!

So much for venting here! (but thanks to those who understand that it is just venting) The reverse snobbery is indeed gobsmacking… and it is amazing the assumptions some people make.

Well done, Kitty, you're obviously wonder woman, I wish I could be like you. Oh no actually from the comments you made I really wouldn't as you obviously are very judgmental.

TheOriginalLadyFT Thu 13-Dec-12 17:27:50

Well no, OP, YANBU - I would have beaten the useless little mare with my domestic service personnel behaviour modifying stick grin

Seriously, the crap spouted on some of these threads is hilarious - we have a cleaner (and thank god, because seriously if I worked anymore hours I would spontaneously combust) and she CHOSE to be a cleaner having previously worked in an office. She enjoys it (her words) and does everything from changing sheets and putting on washing to scrubbing the loo. She is paid well for it and would laugh in your face goldenbear for your 'demeaning' stuff

FWIW, I thought you handled it fine - scream internally, vent on here, be polite and reasonable in RL

DowagersHump Thu 13-Dec-12 18:36:15

I would still have a separate laundry basket for delicates. Then you can reduce your stress levels.

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Thu 13-Dec-12 19:04:16

You can vent here anytime OP, take no bleeding notice! First world problems, where does that shit end? having to ask yourself,'would someone in a third world country hate the tube always being packed? No, can't moan about it on MN then hmm

Glad you were nice about the jumper smile

lljkk Thu 13-Dec-12 19:45:30

I [heart] my cleaner.

I dunno, OP, this is why I just do not buy wool. If it wasn't your Nanny it would have been your DH or your mum or even you in an absent minded moment that put it in the TD. I would let it go.

DialsMavis Thu 13-Dec-12 19:51:48

Golden Bear: when I was growing up we had a cleaner and sometimes my DM was a cleaner, how does that fit morally? Interchangeably, as our circumstances dictated, there was no hand wringing about it.
When DM was a SAHM we didn't have a cleaner, when she was broke or we had a holiday coming up she did a bit of cleaning, when she worked F/T we had a cleaner. Even though she is retired (quite comfortably: no mortgage on large house, nice car, holidays etc) she still does some cleaning for some people she knows well.
She earns more P/H than entry level graduate positions in London that I am applying for after getting myself £20k in debt for the useless degree that I have just finished! grin

gingerninja Thu 13-Dec-12 20:23:20

I have a degree and I had a city career, gave it up to stay at home with my kids. Am considering starting up as a cleaner. I think the concept of whether its demeaning is more to do with how you view their work. Clearly if you think it's demeaning its because you see the role and therefore the person doing it as having no value. Who cares what the job is we should all be respectful of one another. A cleaner, supermarket shelf staker, nanny. Whatever the (low paid) role should have as much respect as a judge. In fact I vote for paying people according to how vital their jobs are to society, I'm pretty certain that a bin man should earn more than a PR manager but that would never happen as too many people see that kind of job as demeaning.

dinkybinky Thu 13-Dec-12 20:29:48

Buy another jumper!!

BegoniaBampot Thu 13-Dec-12 20:32:53

I've had to clean as part of my jobs, I've had others clean for me and even clean my loos. How much does a cleaner cost per hour anyway? Why do you have to do it yourself? Why is it immoral to have someone clean for you if you pay them. I'm confused.

BrianButterfield Thu 13-Dec-12 20:37:57

I would rather clean houses than work as a telesales person. I'd find it far less demeaning (I think there's at least some job satisfaction in leaving a house sparkling clean!)

DialsMavis Thu 13-Dec-12 20:42:06

£9.50 ph round here

itspeanuts Thu 13-Dec-12 20:43:12

Goldenbear is not that far off...

I'm a cleaner and although I might have originally started of with my self-esteem intact, eager and keen, believe me - it takes its toll in all ways after a while!

The problem is not how you view your work Ginger but how you customers view you. There will always be those that only see you as the 'cleaner' and treat you accordingly no matter what you did before or how intelligent you are.

Although I am aware that not everybody that cleans feel this way. For me it's the only income, lone parent and I rely on it to keep a roof over our heads; it's exhausting and of course there are bits of the job that are frankly disgusting but if you've got the money to expand or are only doing it part-time for a bit of pocket money then I can see the appeal and there's definitely the potential to make money.

gingerninja Thu 13-Dec-12 21:16:01

But that's exactly my point itpeanuts, it's the value we as a society place on those sorts of jobs. Why do we place so much more value for instance in Drs than nurses (reflected in pay) why is someone who models clothes paid more than the person that makes them? It's topsy turvey and quite perverse but it comes down to our own attitudes. Why do you feel like 'just a cleaner'? You're doing a valuable back breaking job and should be respected and if people take liberties just remind them that you are paying for a service, slavery is something quite different. ;-)

Bagofmashings Thu 13-Dec-12 21:43:13

I'm a nanny. I neither find it degrading nor an excuse to 'spend all day in someone else's very nice house' biscuit
I have a degree and am a nursing deploma. I have, in the past, used a cleaner myself.
I have no problem putting other people's washing in a machine or doing other cleaning type jobs in the house while children sleep.

Bagofmashings Thu 13-Dec-12 21:45:10

I have a nursing diploma, I'm not a nursing deploma! blush

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 21:57:03

Gingerninja, you have totally misunderstood my point - I'm not sure if that is deliberate. I actually said it was degrading not demeaning others said it was demeaning so I started referencing the demeaning comments. Hiring House Help of some kind that has to do laundry that may include dirty underwear, cleaning crap stained loos, cleaning out the pubic hairs from plug holes demonstrates that you, as the employer, puts a low value on that kind of work as your time is much more valuable than those menial tasks. Cleaning is not deemed to be of value by those who employ cleaners, that is why they don't do it themselves and that is what makes it degrading work. How the hell do you assume someone like me, who has the principle of cleaning up after myself in my own domestic setting, is responsible for devaluing the person who cleans.

What leads someone to have to make that choice in the first place are you telling me that if working practices, organisational culture were altered to be more accommodating of family life that you would still consider the option of cleaning as a SAHM? Yes, I thought about it to as I am a SAHM and I'm good at cleaning (sadly) but I'm wondering why I have to consider this when I'm educated to Masters level and I had a very good job before my DC.

happywith3 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:03:07

Thanks Original Lady smile

Oh and I have actually been planning the separate laundry basket and a ceiling mounted dryer! Just haven't had the time to get round to it! You'd be amazed how time consuming it is sitting around drinking coffee while my slaves clean my house and look after my kids ;-)

P.S. I'm trying to stretch the jumper. Have used conditioner and drying in avery cold room. The shape looks a tad odd but it might work! (it's not fully dry yet)

Itspeanuts: Your post brings tears to my eyes. FWIW. e'va had the same (part-time) cleaner for 5 years and she is like one of the family. She absolutely adores my kids. I have found her loads of other work including some nannying which she hadn't done before. We definitely do not see her as just a cleaner.

DialsMavis Thu 13-Dec-12 22:06:46

Many people are not SAHMs though. I have friends who have insane jobs, work stupidly long hours all week, meaning their DC are in childcare 8-6pm all week. They have a cleaner so they can see their DC at the weekend instead of cleaning all day. not because they think cleaning is in some way beneath them.

happywith3 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:10:56

Bagofmashings: You say it exactly as it is!

Goldenbear: "Cleaning is not deemed to be of value by those who employ cleaners" er, what?! If I don't see it of value then why would I pay for it? Did it ever cross your mind that some people have jobs, kids other things going on and don't have the time to clean or if they do clean it might mean spending less time with their kids or getting less sleep or whatever. Sometimes it's just a question of logistics. Some people have all the time in the world but simply don't like cleaning and would rather pay someone to do it. The cleaner is not being forced to do it but is presumably glad to have employment

When I pay for a cleaner I am paying for a service like any other. I don't look down on my cleaner and I don't attach any low value to it quite the opposite! It is of great value which is why I am willing to pay for it!

JustFabulous Thu 13-Dec-12 22:24:01

What is the ridiculous outrage at the nanny washing the bosses stuff about?
Maybe she agreed to. Maybe she wanted to help. Maybe it is part of her agreed contract. I think someone other than the OP need to get a grip.

When I was a nanny I did loads of stuff that wasn't in my contract. I was a very good nanny who was very much appreciated.

gingerninja Thu 13-Dec-12 22:25:24

But there you are, educated to masters level therefore too important to be doing a job like cleaning. So what, everyone and his dog has a degree or a masters and what does it prove? So have I but am I more valuable? I think not however we can probably command a higher salary but why? Is what you would do with your masters more valuable than say a paramedic? Can you command a higher salary than say a nurse? Value and worth. It's a bloody nonsense.

DowagersHump Thu 13-Dec-12 22:25:39

Goldenbear - I've been a cleaner and I've paid a cleaner. I don't have one at the moment but I will probably employ one again. Domestic cleaning can be a brilliant high-ish earning unskilled job that fits around school hours and those kind of jobs are in short supply. When I've had a cleaner, I've paid them more than I pay my nanny fwiw.

Do you have a problem with people employing childminders or sending their kids to nursery too? Or is it only cleaning you think is such a lowly job?

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 22:27:45

happywith3, the value of your time you obviously deem as more expensive, put a higher value on it than using it to clean. Therefore, that less valued activity is outsourced.

The arguments of how much time people have to clear up the mess they made are irrelevant. It is the principle of someone else cleaning up your mess that is wrong IMO.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 22:57:18

Gingerninja, well it's not really a nonsense is it? It's a nonsense to say all jobs have the same value and it's a nonsense to say your job is your worth, which is exactly what you are saying. A job does not define someone's personality but it does have a huge impact on their existence - the environment you live in, the opportunities afforded to you and your children and consequently your overall happiness.

I've done low status jobs to fund my degree expenses, that ultimately improved my prospects. I would not do a job that uses none of the skills and knowledge I have acquired just because my choices are very limited as a SAHP.

It is a nonsense to say every Man and his Dog have a Masters degree. I only know one other person who has an MA degree out of a number of people that all have a 1st degree only.

whois Thu 13-Dec-12 23:38:29

goldenbear

cleaning out the pubic hairs from plug holes demonstrates that you, as the employer, puts a low value on that kind of work as your time is much more valuable than those menial tasks

Well, yes. Quite frankly I do value my free time as too valuable to do much cleaning.

How do you feel about people paying an accountant to go through their box of receipts and fill out their tax return (which one can do perfectly easily oneself) The customer places more importance on their own time and therefore the accountant should feel degraded?

I find your attitude really very strange. When you stay in a hotel do you clean the loo before you leave? At the end of the day at work do you hoover around your desk? Madness.

There are many other things apart from cleaning I deem my time to be too valuable for. Hedge trimming (bloody difficult up a precarious step ladder wielding hedge trimmers!). I paid for uplift of my old carpet when I for a new one put down. I pay a laundrette to wash and iron my shirts. I pay a taxi driver to drive me home at night from work. I leave a service charge after a meal when the waiter has served me my food and drink while I sit there bone idle.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Fri 14-Dec-12 00:33:03

Goldenbear - I asked your age because I felt it would be interesting to know if you were a) very young b) quite young c) plain naive. I don't need an answer, I have decided it's d) 'none of the above'. Simply that you cannot see beyond an idealistic view you held when you were very young and that you have no interest in educating yourself out of. Fair enough.

Having a masters means jack shit frankly.

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 01:15:27

Chippingin why are you so angry and offensive all the time?

I didn't hold this view when I was very young. I think what you haven't seemed to grasp is that we're probably of very different political persuasions- you appear conservative with a small c and I am not so I would imagine it would be rare for me to see your posts and think, 'yes Chippingin has made a really good point about that'. However , I am a grown up and so can make my point without getting so angry about your alternative view.

Unfortunately I am not particularly young (35), naive- that's hilarious! Yes I am guilty of aspiring to the ideal than festering in the grim reality.

You had to have an MA to do my last job- hardly means 'Jack shit'!

whois Fri 14-Dec-12 01:15:43

Having a masters means jack shit frankly

Means you missed the boat on grad job applications so deferred life by a year and stayed at uni... [mostly joking before everyone with a masters gets pissy]

Mimishimi Fri 14-Dec-12 02:36:58

"Oh also OP, when you hire your housekeeper don't forget the chauffeur for driving, gardener to cut the lawn and live in odd job man to change the lightbulbs...if you can afford a nanny you must be able to afford a legion of suitably qualified household staff"

Noone is arguing for that. You would not expect the nanny to also do the gardening, pick you up from work and fix the roof though. Everyone who is saying that it isn't the nanny's responsibility is saying you either hire the right person to do the job (wouldn't necessarily have to be on a fulltime basis - you could have someone come in once a week to do the washing) or ... shock horror... you do it yourself...shock

Mishimishi-it is the nanny's responsibility to do whatever she has agreed with her employer that she will do, not whatever you have decided is appropriate based on her job title!

Goldenbear, just out of curiosity, in your ideal world, how many other "service" jobs do you consider degrading that people should do themselves? Basic beauty treatments, waxing body hair, waitressing, bar work, chefs? Where does it stop and how do the people that would otherwise have done these jobs earn a living?

PessaryPam Fri 14-Dec-12 07:36:47

Goldenbear I don't have a Masters, am I less than you?

diddl Fri 14-Dec-12 08:30:20

If the nanny has agreed to do the washing, I´d be really pissed off if they couldn´t take the trouble to read the care label or ask if not sure.

BegoniaBampot Fri 14-Dec-12 09:09:57

'I would not do a job that uses none of the skills and knowledge I have acquired just because my choices are very limited as a SAHP.'

You are very lucky then. You obviously feel that many jobs are way beneath you, seems you are the one here with a superiority complex, not necessarily those who might employ cleaners and such.

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 09:48:03

Absolutely not - I said it wasn't 'Jackshit' for me as it enabled me to get my last job per-DC. I am not making any comments that eluded to me being more 'important' as a result.

sleep, I'm not going to repeat everything I said up thread. I am arguing that those who employ cleaners play the role of the domestic cleaner down by saying things like, 'she is part of the family' and feel more comfortable equating the work with those who work in the service industry. They don't dare imply any power relations between them and their staff, when in reality the paid employee probably never refers to their employer as 'part of the family'. I said up thread why it quite clearly is not like other services. I'm not going to repeat myself.

whois, I don't have a clue what you're on about as I am 35 and my last job wasn't after 'Uni', I am afraid you definitely did need to be educated to Masters level to be considered for my last post. When I went to University people didn't go for the sole aim of getting 'Internships' on graduation- students were not consumers like they are today. A Masters degree wasn't seen as the drifter's choice, indeed post graduate qualifications set you apart from graduates with 1 degree because it demonstrated you were capable of producing work that was a lot more intellectually demanding.

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 10:01:20

Begonia, no I don't see why I should do so whilst my DP continues to further his career as an Architect. I happened to have the womb so post DC I have to get a low paid job that doesn't use any of the skills I have acquired so that I can contribute financially. It is the antiquated working practices that didn't facilitate any suitable flexibility for me to return to the job I had. That is the problem not my desire to not work as a cleaner to fit around the children. I worked as a cleaner, in factories, as a waitress, as a bar person, in a supermarket to fund my degrees so all my efforts would've been a bit futile if I'm back working as a cleaner.

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:03:00

Can I just say, my Mum has a cleaner, she works 6 days a week, 12 hours a day as a butcher and fish monger at Tesco. She gets one day a week off, and she's 62.
so, I suggested getting someone in to clean for 2 hours a week, so she didn't have to spend her one day off fucking cleaning!

The girl lived round the corner and was over the moon to have a bit of cash in her pocket. what is wrong with that?

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 10:14:52

Yes but she is a 'girl', she has a number of options in life, it is a bit of extra cash, not her whole life. It's all very well people posting biased anecdotes about their cleaners loving the work but that is not backed up by the statistics that demonstrate what few employment rights they often have, the lack of 'choice' they have in doing the work when you look at the demographic of a lot of cleaners. It is delusional to say most are living the life of Riley! A cleaner has posted on this thread saying how she is treated - that is the reality for most. Not this 'part of the family' nonsense!

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:21:18

Well, she has a baby, not sure about her whole circumstances.

I don't disagree with you though GB, I cleaned for a while, private houses, and I hated it, massive houses they were, and one woman in particular seemed to get great pleasure out of saying 'toilets first' soon as I walked in. I did feel degraded, but that's just me, I don't suppose everyone feels like that, and it's a job that's a life line to many.

Kytti Fri 14-Dec-12 10:43:51

*EMS23 Really? Oh I had no idea. lol So glad you noticed though. smile Thanks for caring.

EMS23 Fri 14-Dec-12 11:44:05

Rude, sarcastic AND witty. Nice.

Animation Fri 14-Dec-12 12:13:29

It sounds very posh when you can refer to 'the nanny.' The nanny did this this and the nanny did that .. Very nice. smile

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