to ask you to tell me that 3dc (including toddler and newborn) is a walk in the park?

(33 Posts)
WhatsTheBuzz Tue 11-Dec-12 13:23:57

I am BU but dc3 due end of this week and I keep hearing how nightmarish a toddler (mine's 18mo) and a newborn is. Also have 7yo... Please lie to me?! I found going from 1 to 2 relatively easy but dc2 is very laid-back and there is a fairly big age gap!

Otherworld Tue 11-Dec-12 13:31:54

It's going to be fine - really it is.

Just set very low expectations in the early months, expect DC2 to watch a LOT of CBeebies whilst you are with new baby and don't worry about anything but feeding and sleeping.

Congratulations!!

crazykat Tue 11-Dec-12 13:37:19

It's difficult for the first few weeks getting used to a new routine. It tooke me about two weeks after DH went back to work to get used to it. CBeebies or similar is brilliant for distracting toddlers while you deal with a newborn.

DC4 is now 8weeks and although I have less time to do things, everything's pretty much back to how it was before he was born. Other DCs are 4, 3 and almost 2 BTW.

Mosman Tue 11-Dec-12 13:38:19

I had three under 4 and honestly do not remember the first year, if it wasn't for the photo's I wouldn't believe I was there.
You will be fine because you've no other choice.

PinkSnow Tue 11-Dec-12 13:40:19

I have a 2 year old and a little girl who turns 1 next month. Things are MUCH easier now but ill be totally honest I found it extremely hard work and felt very ill emotionally and physically for a long time. I'm only just starting to feel normal. Some people breeze it though, my daughter had horrific colic and didnt like sleeping so I suppose it depends on the nature of your baby and how much sleep and support you get, good luck.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius Tue 11-Dec-12 14:02:04

I genuinely believe that it is harder to adapt to having your first child than it is to adapt to having two, and it is easier again to go up from two to three. I think you learn so much with your first two, including the quickest and most efficient ways to do things, and the little tips and wrinkles that gain you a few minutes here and there - and all that can be applied to stretching your time when you have three. Plus you are much more relaxed when you have more experience, and that helps too.

You will be fine - and congratulations on the soon-to-be new arrival to your family. And an unmumsnetty hug too.

flossyfloo Tue 11-Dec-12 14:03:14

I actually found going from 2 to 3 much easier than going from 1 to 2. My older ones were 3yrs and 19 months when DC3 was born so small gaps, but I guess I was still in the thick of it having young DC so it wasn't a huge shock. Also, I was much more relaxed about it all 3rd time round (cos I had to be!) and the baby had to just fit in around what was already going on.

The most difficult age was when the youngest was about 9 months as I also had a 2 year old who was trying to be very independent but not at an age where he could be, and a 4 year old who had to be more independent than most 4 year olds are and was rebelling a little! I felt as if I never sat down!

They are now 6.11, 5.2 and 3.7 and I'm finding it easier each day. The only thing that gets to me with 3 is the amount of noise ALL the time!

You will be fine, partly because you have to be, but if you can cope with 2, you can manage 3.

gordyslovesheep Tue 11-Dec-12 14:04:39

I found 3 way way easier than 2 - seriously! although there is a big age gap between 2 and 3 - it is better as they HAVE to (and you have to) accept compromise and sharing !

naturalbaby Tue 11-Dec-12 14:06:31

I had 3 under 3, school has been bit of a saviour! My older two were very good and independent playing together so I actually had a lot of time to spend with dc3 which has turned him into a very clingy baby.

Just plan to spend a few minutes each day with each of your older children - just you and one of them being totally focused on talking to them and being with them makes a huge difference to their behaviour.

Dc3 was in a strict routine from the very beginning which also helped a huge amount - none of the sleep drama i had with the older 2.

SugaricePlumFairy Tue 11-Dec-12 14:07:51

It will be fine! grin.

I had 3 ds's under 4.5 years and I still vividly remember taking ds1 to school on his first day pushing the double buggy wondering how I would manage this everyday?

All went well and ds3 just fitted in as number 3 baby does.

It'll be fab!

AnnIonicIsoTronic Tue 11-Dec-12 14:12:24

Yup.

A walk in the park.

Every fucking day the same fucking park.

Even in winter.

When there is proportionately less park and much, much more dressing and undressing little bodies.

AnnIonicIsoTronic Tue 11-Dec-12 14:15:00

(I love them all really! It's less the park and more the fucking cleaning actually. But they make such a great armful of a family, thy I'm now on dc4 - so I must have loved it really, right?

Sokmonsta Tue 11-Dec-12 14:20:35

Yeah it's a breeze said through gritted teeth while dd is at school, Ds & dtd nap and dts explores the house with his newfound crawling skills

Actually, once you get into a routine it's not that bad. Agree you need low expectations in the early days weeks and make special time for all of the children. Especially for the middle one. Ds is a horror currently because he doesn't have enough time with me without the twins being present. Nap times are good, if baby naps!

You'll be fine. And they'll soon have lots of new toys to play with which helps smile

You will be fine. The first few weeks will be tricky, but once the novelty of the baby wears off for the toddler, and you have a routine going, you will manage beautifully, honestly.
I have 5 DCs with the largest gap between 2 and 3, and if I can cope, anyone can grin

firawla Tue 11-Dec-12 14:35:02

I think you will be fine, your older dd is quite a bit older and in school so should make it easier atleast she can dress herself take self to toilet etc so not like having 3 that you have to do everything for.
As other people said, you will cope cos what other choice have you got! but i honestly don't think it will be that hard - hopefully.
I had that baby-toddler age gap, but twice - so all 3 are within 3 years, and its doable. handful at times but fine, so sure you will be fine

PanicMode Tue 11-Dec-12 14:37:14

You will be fine - I had three under three for a while - it's a bit blurry and the first couple of weeks were tricky as all of mine had horrendous reflux/colic, but going from 1 to 2 was far harder than 2 to 3 (or 3 to 4!).
Congratulations, and good luck!

nomazeena Tue 11-Dec-12 14:50:58

I had 3 under 4 for a while. I found that having a baby and 2 toddlers was MUCH easier than having 2 toddlers and being hugely pregnant. I am not just trying to make you feel better. At your stage I was panicking as well but you are actually nearly through the hardest bit. It was not easy but easier than I had thought. My others were just delighted to have me stuck to the sofa feeding while we read books and they played around me.
Of course the house was a pig sty and they watched too much telly but we are through it now and they are all very happy. The hardest bit was cooking dinner, the baby wouldnt let me put her down as I think she sensed there was competition in the house. Get some carrots and oven chips in and you'll be fine.

MummytoMog Tue 11-Dec-12 14:52:31

I had two eighteen months apart and it was essentially pretty darn easy. DD was pretty happy to watch CBeebies while DS lived on the bb. I think it's a nice age gap if the older one is independent/laid back. I would NOT have had a second child eighteen months after my first if DS had been my first baby though...

Justtheonemore Tue 11-Dec-12 15:09:19

DC4 is 15 months, DC5 is 4months so I can quite vividly recall the sense of panic wink It is hard work, although not as hard as I imagined it to be (the scenarios that ran through my mind!). I find I need to be more organised than I did with my elder DC, as the elder DC had bigger age gaps, but other than that it's a piece of cake......alright, that last line was a lie grin

wrinklyraisin Tue 11-Dec-12 15:18:56

I nanny for a 4, 3 and 1yr old (been with them almost a year). Not the same as being their mother, but from a practicalities point of view it's still a lot of laundry, feeding, toys, crying, giggles, craziness. I have to be fairly organized to get stuff done, or get out of the house on time. But in all honesty it's so much fun! The older 2 play well together. The baby is easy going. Some days I'm put off kids for life and others I just want to scoop these 3 up and bring them home (the parents are still waiting for me to actually follow through with that one lol).

Get lots of help the first few weeks. Prioritize. Don't expect a pristine house or lots of home cooked meals. Enjoy the dynamics of the 3 of them. It's wonderful watching these 3 grow up together, they're so close in age.

Annunziata Tue 11-Dec-12 15:21:55

You will be fine. I had 5 in 8 years, and truthfully, I think going from 1-2 was the hardest. Take the first few weeks easy, but try to get your older ones into a routine as early as possible. Plus it's lovely having a 7 year age gap. My DS1 and DD2 are 8 apart and they just love one another to bits.

rainbow2000 Tue 11-Dec-12 15:33:35

I had a3 and a bit yr old,18 month old and a newborn.My saviour was to get out everyday,didnt matter where.My 3 yr old started playschool and i put the 18 month old in to a creche 2 days a week it was really to give me some breathing space but it worked out fine.
I should mention i have a 16 and 17 yr old and they by and large are far worse.
You will be fine just get dp to get the other kids to bed thats what i did it gave me that bit of peace i needed.

AmberSocks Tue 11-Dec-12 16:03:00

i had 3 in 3 yrs and then another 8 weeks ago,so i have 4 under 5.It is fine really,it depends a lot on you though and your kids personalities,i seem to create very chilled relaxed babies and children!dont know how!I guess i am not ocd about housework which helps.Just enjoy them!
Good luck!

AmberSocks Tue 11-Dec-12 16:03:20

I meant 3 in 2 years even!

Svrider Tue 11-Dec-12 16:05:37

I think once you've gone from 0 to 1 you can handle anything!
Mine are 8,6 and 4
I have no idea what happened to 2005 onwards
I can however tell most of the major incidents in Mickey Mouse clubhouse...

I had a 5 yo, then 3 more DCs in 2.5 years. Going from 1-2 was easy, going from 2-3 was easy, but hand on heart having that 4th baby with 3 under 3's to get out on the school run was the hardest. A double buggy is fine but when you have that 3rd child who either has to walk (very, very slowly), or go in a sling or balance on the handle bars it wasn't easy (before buggy boards were invented grin). You'll be fine, just make sure you dig out whatever contraception you use, grin!

BluelightsAndSirens Tue 11-Dec-12 16:13:17

I found DD3 was a much more relaxed baby as she had so much going on around her to keep her entertained.

DD2 loved being my helper and was put in charge of the nappy box, restocking it and she even made the very good suggestion of having one box up stairs and one downstairs, she was 4 at the time.

Mine are argumentative, noisy, competitive, loud laughers and I love them all!!

Low expectations in the first year is great advice.

3b1g Tue 11-Dec-12 16:14:42

I had twins when the others were two and four. It wasn't that bad. A bit time-consuming in terms of feeding and changing the newborns, but that stage doesn't last for ever. Try to be kind to yourself and don't set unrealistically high standards for yourself. Let the oldest one help with fetching nappies etc.

WaftyCrank Tue 11-Dec-12 16:15:53

You'll be fine. It might be a bit of a shock at first and take some getting used to but you'll soon be in a routine and wonder what you were worried about.
My youngest is 5 weeks now, DS2 is 20 months, DD1 is 3 and DS1 is 5. I actually found it easier once DD was here than when I was pregnant.

DewDr0p Tue 11-Dec-12 16:16:19

I don't personally think a toddler plus baby is necessarily a nightmare. I also had 3 under 3 (gosh there are lots of us on this thread! <waves hello> ) and I thought it was time consuming grin but not difficult.

Two toddlers was a bit hellish but your age gap is big enough to avoid that!

GreatGretzky Tue 11-Dec-12 16:22:24

I found going from 2 to 3 far easier than going from 1 to 2. Mine are 10, 5, and 3 now. Hope you like watching Cbeebies and cbbc though grin

JockTamsonsBairns Tue 11-Dec-12 17:39:41

I can't tell you it will all be fine, but you'll find your way of getting through it. I have very similar age gaps to you, and Dc3 very quickly learned to fit in around us all. No choice, really. The biggest shock to the system is your first I think, and you get more familiar with each Dc.

I remember in the early days when Dc3 was newborn, putting on Dvd's for my then 20 month old toddler son - and serving up Weetabix and banana for his tea one night, as I was struggling with post CS surgery and general exhaustion. I felt horribly guilty about that at the time but, looking back, I wish I'd been kinder to myself - I was doing my best to get through a difficult time, with no support network around me at all.

Be kind to yourself, cut some corners when you have to, and try not to feel guilty - and remember, there are plenty of wonderful times in amongst the toil too!

Ihateparties Tue 11-Dec-12 23:41:54

I don't find it easy at all - must be pretty useless at all this! 1-2 was waaaay easier in my house. DC2 was easiest baby of the bunch though, who has blossomed in to unexpectedly tricksy fiddly toddler just in time to coincide with DC3 at nearly 10m entering full upright mobility stage hmm

Same old same old though, it will be fine and you'll cope because there is no choice. I'm sticking my hand up here on this thread of people who find it easy and saying I find 3 much harder than 2. Someone please tell me it gets easier at some point, at least in a practical sense?!

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