Aaaarrgghhh! I DON'T LIKE PINK!

(128 Posts)
Yamyoid Mon 10-Dec-12 11:03:57

Aibu? Mil keeps buying stuff for dd, and it's all pink. I don't want to be ungrateful, and some of the clothes have been lovely, but she is an intelligent, liberal minded woman so what's with the pink obsession? I feel it's now a bit late to say, please stop buying pink stuff (this includes bedroom accessories). But the prospect of 10 more years of pink is depressing.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 10-Dec-12 11:07:38

Maybe she likes the colour? Do you think a pink t-shirt will turn your daughter into one of these? Try not to worry about it, just buy blue/grey/purple/whatever when it's your turn to go shopping.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Mon 10-Dec-12 11:07:42

what does your dd think?

Flisspaps Mon 10-Dec-12 11:07:52

Tell her you prefer other colours.

It's quite easy.

She might not listen, in which case you don't put the clothes on DD.

Latara Mon 10-Dec-12 11:08:35

Pink is lovely . YABU. But blue is also nice (duck egg for example).

Just wait til your dd wants a Barbie or discovers Hello Kitty. Hehe grin

PurplePidjChickIsNotTheMessiah Mon 10-Dec-12 11:10:18

Thank her then a) mix and match with not pink clothes or b) save them for when dd has d+v/messy play at nursery/rainy puddle-splashing days

She'll be old enough to tell Granny what she thinks of pink for herself soon enough wink

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 11:10:59

I really hate pink as a colour but it's bloody hard finding stuff that isn't pink nowadays if you are an occasional shopper for young girls grin

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:12:55

YABU

I don't like yellow but I don't freak out if someone buys something yellow for my kids.

If it's really affecting your life then tell her.

LondonElfInFestiveCheerBoots Mon 10-Dec-12 11:13:12

Why is it too late to say 'Please stop buying pink'? Just say that DD has enough pink stuff and it doesn't seem to be her favourite colour, maybe branch out a bit? It could just be MIL's favourite colour? Is DD her first DGD?

Yamyoid Mon 10-Dec-12 11:14:34

Dd is only 7 months.

Haha, Winkly. I just have never liked the colour pink and the pink for girls thing grates on me.

I could cope with the clothes as there was some nice stuff, and as you say, she doesn't have to wear them. The problem is now it's spreading to bedroom stuff, which I do have to look at every day. I like pretty things and there are lots of pretty things in other colours.

I'm a bit embarrassed to tell her now I prefer other colours. Dh didn't look too keen either.

Yamyoid Mon 10-Dec-12 11:16:50

Worra, it's not affecting my life. I'm just having a rant smile

valiumredhead Mon 10-Dec-12 11:17:27

What worra said.

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean your dd won't either.

Very rude to say anything.

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 11:19:24

I'd tell her that pink doesn't go with the colour scheme you are going to use for the bedroom. My MIL bought a lot of pink because curtains were left in the house we bought and I left them up for a week. They had small pink flowers. She kept bringing heaps of junk to clutter my room up pink ornaments for years afterwards until we fixed her by taking the most distinctive shaped one and spraying it cream grin

I never get embarrassed telling people that I don't like pink. It's not even a colour FFS!

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Mon 10-Dec-12 11:19:35

Dd is only 7 months.

Ah. Why do you only have to put up withbot for 10 years then.

Honestly I don't get the issue. She has bought some stuff you don't like. Happens to everyone.

skandi1 Mon 10-Dec-12 11:22:23

Purple?? If you like purple then ask your mil to get purple stuff for you DD. I am not a lover of pink either so I asked for purple for my DD and she looks lovely in it.

TheCraicDealer Mon 10-Dec-12 11:22:49

I'm an intelligent, liberal minded woman and pink just happens to be my favourite colour. It wouldn't occur to me that people would be that bothered about the colour of the gift I just gave their child.

If you're that bothered just save those bits for when DD's got explosive diarrhoea or is projectile vomiting. They won't be pink for long then!

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:22:58

I just have never liked the colour pink and the pink for girls thing grates on me

And that's what it boils down to I think...you're expecting other people to follow your 'no pink for girls/blue for boys' agenda.

Well not everyone particularly cares about that sort of stuff and to say, but she is an intelligent, liberal minded woman so what's with the pink obsession? ...makes you sound quite patronising to be honest.

Either ask her to choose a colour that's acceptable to you or just be grateful she bothers to buy her anything at all...but stop projecting.

They're only clothes.

valiumredhead Mon 10-Dec-12 11:23:36

What has she actually bought? Just hide the things you don't like or give them to a charity shop.

Are intelligent, liberal minded women not allowed to like pink then?

autumnmum Mon 10-Dec-12 11:26:41

You are not alone! Check out the work of these marvellous women

www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

I have had the same problem as my DD is the only girl on my DHs side. My DD doesn't fit the pink princess mould they wanted her to. But after me trying to gently hint that she please stop with the pink with no success, it was finally resolved when DD (then aged 4) said "Nana why can't you remember I don't like pink?". My lovely MIL and SILs now pride themselves on tracking down non-pink stuff. If you want to dress in pink from head to toe fine, but not everybody does and that is just as valid a choice.

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:30:52

A 4yr old deciding for themself (if indeed they did) that they don't like pink is quite different to an adult getting annoyed that their 7 month old baby has been given a gift of pink clothing.

MrsWolowitz Mon 10-Dec-12 11:33:39

I'm intelligent and liberal minded and pink is my favourite colour. I wear pink and I also have a pink car and a pink kitchen.

YABU and ungrateful.

Total non-issue.

I've got a 7 week old and since I've had her I've been astounded by the amount if pink!!! The truly terrible stuff I go back to the shop and exchange it for something else for her. Your MIL would probably prefer you do that and use the stuff. It's hard to tell her without hurting her feelings. Keep some stuff and exchange other stuff that's what I'd do.

TheCraicDealer Mon 10-Dec-12 11:34:42

"I also have a pink car"

envy envy envy

Yamyoid Mon 10-Dec-12 11:35:04

Thank you Autumn.

Yes, dd is the first and possibly only Dgd on that side.

I have no issue with dd choosing pink everything when she's old enough (well, I'll grin and bear it) but right now, I'd just prefer other colours.

Yes, the bedroom stuff will go in a cupboard.

I do dress her in the pink clothes, can't afford not to.

Didn't mean to patronise, just think the pink stereotype is ott. The lack of choice pisses me off.

lljkk Mon 10-Dec-12 11:36:15

One day your precious little girl will refuse to wear anything but BLACK. Including lots of it painted on her face. You'll then look back on the pink days with nostalgia, mark my words.

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:36:38

Bloody hell are people really that precious and fussy over the colour of their baby's clothes?

They keep them warm and dry that's all.

It's not a fashion parade and the gift givers can't be expected to read the minds of fussy people.

LDNmummy Mon 10-Dec-12 11:38:18

Can you blend it in with other colours?

My MIL is like this but I just either hide the item in the back of DD's things or mix and match it to tone it down.

Its not so much that the stuff is just pink for me, it is also how 'fru fru' it is too.

MrsWolowitz Mon 10-Dec-12 11:38:46

grin TheCraic

DH loves it too! He's always pinching it to take to work leaving me with his crappy car! Some idiot shouting "fucking gay" at him once when he pulled into a carpark. DH just made this ----> hmm face, he couldn't give a tiny rats buttock if someone thought he was gay or not.

<digresses>

valiumredhead Mon 10-Dec-12 11:38:54

I was just really grateful when people gave me anything for my baby regardless of colour!

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:40:55

Exactly valium, some parents don't get the pleasure of worrying about such trivial issues when they're walking round a charity shop with their last few pounds.

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 11:41:49

With DS1 I was swamped with outfits that had been gifts. By 7 months I was desperate to dress him in something I'd chosen myself. So yes, people can be precious and fussy about what they dress their children in.

With DS2 however if it was clean and it fitted it was worn grin

BlackBagFestiveBorderBinLiner Mon 10-Dec-12 11:48:48

I found the lack of colour choice depressing. It's often a really bad choice for some complexions making the kids look washed out /dull.

1. Have a washing 'accident' with some dylon - point out how lovely and sparkly their pfb grandchild looks in electric blue.

2. Buy some cords, jacket etc in a very strong colour eg dark brown which will tone and over power the pastel nature of the gifts.

3. Bin anything you really don't like, once your over the initial guilt you'll feel better for not seeing it.

4. return/exchange stuff because it 'does n't fit, DD lokked uncomfrtable, been designered by someone whose never dressed a baby - that you Myclean Arse

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 11:52:01

Rather than you dont like pink why dont you say you bought her an outfut that is insert colour of your choice and it looks so lovely and compliments dd's colouring etc that you would love it if she had more clothes that colour and as mil is so good at buying lovely clothes could she keep an eye out for snything that colour?

And if you dont want her room to be pink.pick a colour/theme you do like and again enlist mil in 'helping' you to find stuff. Show her a fee bits you like and enlist her help to find more?

Just tactfully eithout ecplicitly saying no pink guide her towards your prefernce but by involving her she can feel appreciated and like she is helping you?

I dont likd pink eithef, my dd has some but not loads ans thankfully my mil knows my taste and she also likes bright colours and similar style to stuff that i do.

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:53:26

What does your DH think about it OP?

ethelb Mon 10-Dec-12 11:53:34

Honestly? I think this could just be to do with the fact that stuff when she was a mum was quite drab for girls tbh.

Yes it was less pink, which was nice, but 80s/90s childrens clothes were very, very boring compared to what you can buy now. Maybe she finds it exciting?

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 11:54:05

And yes blend it in. My dd has a lovy biden.pinafore that is blue with mushrooms on it, a few of thd mushrooms ars pink so i put her in thd dress with a pink long sleeved top and tights. It compliments thd dress but doesnt shout PINK at you smile

Narked Mon 10-Dec-12 12:00:45

It's not 'just clothes' when she's buying things for the nursery.

CaseyShraeger Mon 10-Dec-12 12:04:29

It's not about a gift of pink clothing, though. The OP's MIL sounds like mine in that presented with a first grandchild/first granddaughter she almost-compulsively buys stuff to the point where it would actually be wasteful to buy your own child any more clothes. And so if everything the MIL has bought is in one colour and it's a colour you hate then your child spends 100% of her time wearing things you really dislike (fortunately my own MIL wasn't pink-obsessed).

Pale pink will dye really well, though, OP. And even bright pink would probably dye to purple, red or black quite effectively. And other pink stuff will work well mixed with other colours.

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:05:53

If pink is just a colour and clothes for babies are just about keeping them warm and dry then why the hell do you hardly EVER see male babies wearing pink?

All those of you shouting non-issue need to supply evidence in the form of photos of your male DC's wearing pink!

Come on lets see it!

LDNmummy Mon 10-Dec-12 12:08:24

ICBINEG I agree, lets see the evidence grin

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:12:42

Dear MNHQ, I would like to propose some new MN legislation:

If you have had a male child and cannot supply photo graphic evidence of them dressed head to toe in pink on a regular basis then you are not allowed to to say "pink is just another colour" or "no-one cares what colour babies wear" or this is a "non-issue".

By LAW.

TheCraicDealer Mon 10-Dec-12 12:13:48

I think this evidence will be more forthcoming when we pink defenders see evidence of haters' kids of both genders wearing gender neutral clothing at all times.

Seriously, if you really don't like the stuff graciously accept it and pass it on to a charity shop of your choice so that someone else might use it. OR have the guts to tell your MIL that, actually, you just don't like pink all that much. Don't try and turn it into some massive ishoo when it seems like your biggest problem is your DD having a granny who loves buying her things.

catkind Mon 10-Dec-12 12:13:51

We made our position on pink quite clear pre birth, and haven't done too badly thankfully. I know it's entirely unreasonable of me, but it's not "her" in my head, and she just looks wrong in it. I'm sure she'll rebel in due course and insist on pink sparkles, but in the meantime I still get to choose what she wears. So yeah, the waste would upset me. I'm afraid I'd ebay or pass on to a friend who does like pink. I'm lucky I can afford to be picky as she can always wear big brother's old clothes. His favourite top is pink tho, can't get away from it.

autumnmum Mon 10-Dec-12 12:15:18

ICBINEG you have made my day grin and I second your rule!

weegiemum Mon 10-Dec-12 12:18:55

Both my girls (oh and my ds, as a hand-me-down!) wear the t-shirts that say "I Think Pink Stinks" from www.pinkstinks.co.uk. I've got the "I'm no Princess" one!

Glittery shimmery purple is good enough for dd2!

MsElleTow Mon 10-Dec-12 12:19:33

I don't understand why people get het up about the colour of babies clothes. My DC are boys, when they were babies anything bought for them, especially DS1, was blue! Did I care? No, not a jot! It was clothes, they fitted, they were warm, kept him covered and dry and I was grateful because I didn't have to buy them.

When DNiece was born she was dressed mostly in pink, perhaps a little bit of lilac! My sister was grateful, she was skint so didn't complain!

My boys have worn pink, not so much no as it is not really in fashion for men and they are 16&18 so I can't force them to wear it! I like pink, I have a lot of pink. I am an intelligent, liberal minded woman too!

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:24:49

craic wtf?? Us non-stereotyping parents don't dress our kids in gender neutral colours we dress them in ALL colours.

I can supply you with pictures of my DD in everything from pink, purple with butterflies, red, blue with spiders on, green with monsters on, brown with a tractor on etc etc.

Do you get it now?

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:26:47

The only rule is don't put anything on them that you wouldn't have dressed a boy in. And true to this, DD has no high heels or bras and the only dresses she has are from others and never get worn (dresses aren't actually that practical for toddlers...)

JenFrankincenseAndMyrrh Mon 10-Dec-12 12:27:17

I find it so hard buying clothes for DD. Boys have much more choice. You look at the boy section and there is a variety of colours. Go to the girl section and it is pink, pink, pink, pink etc. I think pink is an awful colour but I have been given lots of pink clothes. I am grateful that people have given gifts and don't refuse to put them on DD but just wish that girls could have more choice. I like purple, green, red, yellow etc for girls but it is so hard to find.

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:28:33

MsElle so if your DS had been given all clothes that were pink, you would have been equally happy and dressed him in those?

If so then your comments stand. If not I refer you to the new legislation....grin

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:29:11

My boys wear a bit of pink, ds4 looks quite good in pink actually. Ds3 likes purple, especially his purple fairy dress. But i am not a huge fan of pink and it doesnt suit dd tbh.

But ice and lnd make a good point and the let toys be toys campaign is worth looking at in this tespect.

There is nothing wrong with the colour pink, what is wrong is that it can be fousted upon girls and all.their clothes eyc are pink and thdn all.their toys etc as they get a bit older. It can become self fulfilling and actually it can become limiting.

Girls dont inheritently like pink, its a social construct of the last 100yrs ish and it has gone crazy to the point it can end up.overwhelming. oddly enough if a baby is consistently dresssed in pink and told how sweet, pretty,cute etc she looks in pink (and am guessing mil.makes a fuss when dgd wears clothes she has bought) then it reinforces the idea rhat she should like/wear/play with pink things. The socialisation and reinforcing of gender steretypes starts from the moment babies are born and it does have an influence on children.

Gender neutral stuff is hard to find. My DDs have pink stuff, it's unavoidable. I used to really hate it but I kind of resigned to it now.

I politely accept and am grateful for gifts of clothes for the DDs (although thanks to the local NCT sales they are never short) but I will admit to steering MiL away from a pink leopard-print Hello Kitty dress with tulle frills on it. I'm not that polite grin

And no, it's not the colour pink- it's the gender segregation at an age when it's unnecessary and the fact that so many girls' clothes are unsuitable for active play. It's a marketing ploy to prevent hand-me-downs; if you have a child of each gender, you now have to buy two lots of clothes and toys.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:31:31

And actually i am not so sure pink.is just a colour it vomes hand in hand with a whole connotarion if ideas/themes esp the princess one, gentle, defensless princess who needs her knight to.come and rescue her. Its part of a whole package of 'girlyness' that when taken to extremes isnt particularly healthy and can be limiting.

TheCraicDealer Mon 10-Dec-12 12:32:08

"I can supply you with pictures of my DD in everything from pink, purple with butterflies, red, blue with spiders on, green with monsters on, brown with a tractor on etc etc"

So what precisely is the problem with OP's MIL adding some pink items to her DGD's wardrobe? I do "get it"- I'm an intelligent, liberal minded woman after all. It sounds like OP's aversion to pink should mean there are some pretty varied clothing choices regardless of one individual's present buying.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:34:04

But its not some pink, its all pink and its not just clothes. If op's mil is anything like mine she can end uo buying so.much dtuff that op cant justify buying her dd anything.

And icb yes my children wear all colours.

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:34:47

If 50% of the clothes are pink then that is not balanced though is it?

One of each would put pink down at around 10%...

if you "get it" then why did you suggest that the alternative to wearing solely blue or pink is "gender neutral colours"? Obviously the other (better) alternative is to wear colours indiscriminately until the child is old enough to express a preference?

MsElleTow Mon 10-Dec-12 12:35:26

He was given blue clothes because he is a boy, like girls are given pink clothes! It didn't bother me, it wouldn't have bothered me if I had a girl and I had been given pink clothes! When are there ever threads from mothers of boys shouting about their DSes being given blue clothes?

And as for there being more choice of clothes for boys, are you serious? Have you ever stood in a store and seen rows and rows of girls clothes with a tiny corner of boys clothes?

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 12:36:43

If pink is just a colour and clothes for babies are just about keeping them warm and dry then why the hell do you hardly EVER see male babies wearing pink?

Perhaps it's because parents like the OP project their feelings about it?

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:37:53

That last was to craic. also I have a massive aversion to pink. My favourite colour is blue (and always has been). I have never bought my DD ANY pink clothing but at least half of her clothes have some element of pink / girlie themes such as butterflies/flowers. And that is after I told all my relatives from before she was born that no pink would be worn whether it was a boy or a girl.

So yeah the casual buying relatives can do a shed load to skew the colour distribution in the wardrobe...

JenFrankincenseAndMyrrh Mon 10-Dec-12 12:38:28

I am completely serious about more choice for boys. I can go in a shop and like pretty much all the boys clothes, different colours. The girl section is almost all pink and generally I can only find 1 or 2 items that I like. If it is virtually all the same colour, how is that choice?

BlackBagFestiveBorderBinLiner Mon 10-Dec-12 12:38:37

I found frugi good for a variety of colours, very hard wearing, generously sized, good sales.

In town if I spotted something non-pink I adored I 'd just buy it for the future, pink will always be available but a lovely spotty red top won't necessarily be there next year.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:39:49

Actually you do.get threads on mnet moaning about the lack.if choice re boys clothes and how hard it can be to get colours other than.blue and brown etc. Biys tend to get blue, brown sludgey colours. Its as crap as all pink for girls.

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:40:21

Mrselle you didn't answer the question. Suppose you had a misreading of sex at the 20 week scan and all you kind relatives had bought pink clothes for your DS1...would you have said thanks thats great and dressed him in pink for the first 6 months?

worra the OP doesn't like pink so everyone in society decides that pink is only good enough for girls and not boys? REALLY not following your logic there...also where are you photos of boys in pink?

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:41:04

H&m and m&s and john.lewis are goid for boys clothes but there us mire choice for girls if you shop around, its very easy to be overwhelmed by pink.

TheCraicDealer Mon 10-Dec-12 12:44:38

I was being facetious, ICBINEG. You may have mentioned to your relatives that you don't like pink, but evidently OP has not done the same with her in-laws. And if OP's MIL buys her DGD an outfit and subsequently sees her in it surely she is justified in thinking that her DIL likes the item and is happy for her DD to wear it? She's not a mind reader.

MsElleTow Mon 10-Dec-12 12:48:55

If I had had a plain pink babygrow knocking around I would have dressed him in it. I would not have dressed him in a pink frilly dress! I would not have dressed him in,pink everyday for six months and quite frankly, think your argument Is ridiculous!

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:49:11

well indeed - glad we agree it was a stupid comment grin

yeah, the OP totally needs to say something - although I like the idea of "oh DD really like colours X, Y (not pink)" as a strategy...plus you can keep changing the colours indefinitely as everyone know babies/toddlers are fickle and unpredictable....

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:50:11

MsElle ahhhh so pink everyday wouldn't have good enough for your DS...but you expect the OP to put up and shut up because she only has a girl...

okay just nice to be clear.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:51:31

But if pink is just a colour and clothes are just practical/warm why wouldnt you have dressed him.in pink mselle?

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:51:41

I wonder how many others on here who say you should just be grateful and shut up about this "non-issue" would actually have binned clothes of the opposite stereotype...

It clearly isn't a non-issue then is it?

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 12:51:53

Nobody blinks an eye if you dress a girl in blue though. Pink has a meaning far beyond being a colour and I blame Katie Price and co for it

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:51:57

What icb just said.

megandraper Mon 10-Dec-12 12:53:23

I sympathise, OP. I don't like the obsession with pink for girls either, and I took a lot of baby gifts back to the shop and swapped them for other colours - otherwise we would have been swamped with pink. I don't mind it as a colour amongst others, but don't want to live in a sea of it.

Neither of my boys live in a monochrome world, so why should my daughter?

CreamOfTomatoSoup Mon 10-Dec-12 12:53:44

My DS wears pink. The problem with boys' clothes is that they all tend to be in quite dull blues and greens and either have trucks and cars on them rather than the girls' clothes which have nice animals on. OR they have 'cheeky rascal' or 'naughty raccoon' emblazoned on them. My son is neither cheeky nor naughty.
I hate seeing girls top to toe in pink every day though. I judge.

ICBINEG Mon 10-Dec-12 12:55:59

Right I have to go but one last comment:

People wouldn't want their DSs to be dressed in pink frilly dresses because they wouldn't want them to be stereotyped as girls.

The news flash is that many parents of girls ALSO DO NOT WANT THEIR DC STEREOTYPED AS GIRLS.

This is because stereotyping is Bad Thing. It gives our DCs nothing but unnecessary restrictions and boundaries.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 12:58:36

likes the post at 12:55 by icb

havingastress Mon 10-Dec-12 12:59:45

This could have been my thread! My MIL is exactly the same.

TBH the bit that pisses me off isn't so much the pink, it's her deliberate buying of the crap despite me asking telling her not to!

Purple! Blue! Navy! Lemon! All perfectly lovely colours.

I have a huge bag of pink waiting to go the charity shop - ugh. VILE!

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 13:03:27

worra the OP doesn't like pink so everyone in society decides that pink is only good enough for girls and not boys? REALLY not following your logic there...also where are you photos of boys in pink?

You didn't read my post then.

No idea what you're going on about photos for, are you sure you're talking to the right poster?

Have I said what colours my kids wear?

Have I said I've taken photos of them?

Have I said I'll provide you with them?

Weird...

herhonesty Mon 10-Dec-12 13:03:45

this thread is amusing!!! and we wonder why woman havent broken through the glass ceiling yet ....

PeshwariNaan Mon 10-Dec-12 13:05:22

Look, I feel the same. I don't know why everything has to be pink, pink, pink for baby girl. However people have given us some absolutely gorgeous things that just happen to be pink, and I am grateful!

TBH I'm grateful for any gifts as we are skint and could never afford these lovely outfits we're getting.

Beggars can't be choosers IMO, and in the end she's a baby - doesn't matter to her!

ouryve Mon 10-Dec-12 13:06:38

I love pink. Deep pinks look fab with my fair skin, blue eyes and dark hair. But I don't wear them from head to toe!

I only have boys and I do find it a little frustrating that the selection of clothes for girls appears to be twice as big as it is for boys in the few shops that actually do cater to both. But it does become apparent pretty quickly what a high proportion of those clothes are pink and I never fail to notice how massive the clearance section ends up in girlswear. Almost all pink.

While the selection of clothes for boys is smaller, the choice of colours is at least wider. DS1 loves orange and grey, while DS2 loves yellow and looks quite good in those dark, sludgy "boy" colours, navy and green. My favourite outfit for him as a very pale skinned, fair haired baby was an eye popping lime green.

OP, it really wouldn't hurt to discuss the colours you like for your DD with your MIL in an adult manner. Meantime, mix and match the pink clothes with other colours (eg pastel pink & brown or grey, bright pink with bright orange or red or purple or the whole lot) and send anything you really can't abide to the charity shop.

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 13:11:15

Exactly Pesh

I'm not keen on all this pink for girls and blue for boys either.

But if people gently explain their reasons to whoever is buying it (and why is it always the MIL?) then over time they may come to understand.

But the pearl clutching hysteria that often accompanies kids being bought pink clothes by their grandparents, gets a bit OTT.

You can't flick a switch and expect them to immediately see things your way.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 13:11:44

pesh yes she's a baby now and it doesnt matter too much but it wont stop as she gets older and there is an issue with the socialisation ofvthe idea pi k=girls and its just reinforcing it. It wont only be pink.clothes as she gets older and the genderfication of toys etc is an issue and as children get older its restrictive.

TeaJunky Mon 10-Dec-12 13:14:12

confused

To the posters who say all girls clothes are pink, pink, pink...where DO you shop?

I've never ever had a problem finding all sorts of colours for dd (3) - and I'm not a huge fan of pink on her either, only because it doesn't suit her colouring.

We recently painted part of her bedroom pink (my idea, pregnancy brain), she took one look and insisted on red ..until it was re-done in red. She now loves it, but also has pink bits in her room, and a pink hello kitty DVD player.

I don't understand the issue people have with pink - all this gender stereotyping thing is taken to an extreme level, ie 'don't dress your girl in anything you wouldn't dress your boy in'..what???!!!!'
I do think you CAN do pink without princessyfying it. We have nothing at all Disney or princessy in her room (including dvds and books) but it's still gorgeous and Girly and bright, with pink polka dot sheets.
Her favourite cartoon is horrid Henry and her favourite toy is a giraffe. Wearing girls clothes and having pink stuff in her room hasnt turned her into a simpering little princess. hmm

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 13:14:21

Nobody expects to.flick a switcg and have things their way but yes we can try and moderate it and filter the negative side of it. Pink.is fine, but it should be fine for girls AND boys and constantly reinforcing the gender divide in young children and wirh it outdated steretypes is not good.

TheCraicDealer Mon 10-Dec-12 13:18:10

The news flash is that many parents of girls ALSO DO NOT WANT THEIR DC STEREOTYPED AS GIRLS.

Sorry to be dull, but why is this a bad thing? They are girls. Yes, pink is a "girly" colour, but by putting an embargo on it as some people do you're enforcing the stereotype that pink is crap, therefore being feminine or whatever is also a bit crap.

As 5mad says, "pink = girls", but why does "girls" have to equal "bad"?

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 13:19:07

5mad but some posters do get awfully OTT in their anger about it...and that tends to put people off of listening.

Same as the OP's insult about her MIL being an intelligent liberal minded woman so she doesn't get why she buys pink stuff.

herhonesty Mon 10-Dec-12 13:19:28

i think a bunch of women getting their knickers in a twist about what colours babies wear probably does more to reinforce gender stereotypes than anything else.

sorry. had to be said.

TeaJunky Mon 10-Dec-12 13:20:55

thecraic And 5mad.... That's what I meant underneath all that waffle grin

Houseworkprocrastinator Mon 10-Dec-12 13:22:09

I don't like pink. Everyone knows i don't like pink so no one bought it for my children. but i have completely different tastes to my mil when it comes to clothes and in the end i just had to tell her to stop buying things because everything she gave me for the girls i took back to the shops.

Does yours leave the labels on? most shops will let you exchange without a receipt. (you don't even need to exchange for clothes, have many times taken clothes back to boots and stocked up on nappies)

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 13:23:56

Yes i can see some people go.ott in their hate of pink and inlaws! But i think we are doing ourselves and our children a disservice by going along with it.

It goes much further than clothes and it is restrictive. Its not fair thar boys should like/wear/play with pink and girls toys are.limited ie science toys marketed at boys, ditto construction stuff. It is limiting for childrrn and it does i fluence them, especially as it starts when they are babies, it just becomes thd norm.

espanol Mon 10-Dec-12 13:28:16

My main issue with the pink/blue thing is that it is just so bloody dull and unimaginative! There are so many beautiful colours in the world, and so few adults wear just blue or pink that it seems bonkers for any child to have a predominantly blue or pink wardrobe, even aside from any gender stereotyping (which is a massive debate I'm not going to delve into, and much much more than just about pink/blue).

I think I would meet the gender-neutral challenge laid down on this thread. DS has variously worn hearts, flowers and butterflies as well as cars, trucks and monsters. He has worn pink and blue, plus a gazillion other colours. DD has all of his hand me downs, and we buy her as much with tractors as we do with flowers. She wears many, many colours. They both get complimented on their colourful clothes.

It isn't that hard to find non-pink or non-blue. It really isn't, and it annoys me when people say it is. My 2yo DD is currently wearing a green and white striped top from Tesco, grey trousers from Next and an orange cardigan from M&S. We don't deny her pink. She has 2 pink tops, some pink socks, pink knickers - it is about as averagely represented as every other colour on her wardrobe which is pretty much how it should be until she's old enough to decide what she really likes. My 4yo DS currently has a thing for green - he'd not be able to indulge his love if green if his grandparents over-stuffed his wardrobe with blue.

I understand how you feel OP. Don't completely reject the pink though - its as valid a colour as any other! Just even out the wardrobe with other colours. I like the idea of gently steering your MIL towards other colours. She might just assume you love pink as you've never said otherwise. Start gently saying otherwise without denigrating what she has already bought.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 13:29:23

Actually herhonesty people are foing mire damage by accepting it and going along with it. The genderfication if the toy market paeticularly has got much much worse recently and its depressing and not good for our children.

See the 'let toys be toys' threads and the fb page. A group set up by some mnetters to campaign against the way retailers market their toys by gender, limiting the choices our children make.

Pink.is fine, as are all colours but it shouldnt just be a 'girls' colour, its fine for boys and until fairly recently pink was for boys and blue for girls!" its a socially constructed and reinforved stereotype and its not a good one!

gail734 Mon 10-Dec-12 13:30:34

I hear ya. It's so wishy-washy. My DD has nice dark hair and really suits bolder colours, like red. I've just smilingly accepted all of the piles of pastel pink clothing gifts that I've been given, but whenever I buy something myself, it is never pink. When I moan about all the pinkness, my DH says I'm very ungrateful. You could put her in something nice that is not pink and say to MIL, "Pink is lovely, but isn't it nice to see her in another colour?" What really pissed me off, tbh, was not the clothes which are at least practical, but all the money wasted on useless tat. Teddy-shaped picture frames, plushy animals, baby jewellery, little pots to preserve first tooth, first curl in? Silver tube in which to store the birth certificate, anyone? NOW I sound Ungrateful!

herhonesty Mon 10-Dec-12 13:39:56

5madthings - so get of your ar*se and do something about the genderfication of toys rather than sit around wingeing about baby clothes on a mumsnet forum. You do have a choice what toys your children play what and the type of play they engage in, blaming it all on pink clothes misses the point completely.

hhmmm wonder what all the fathers of these poor pink princesses consigned to a life of princessdom are doing now...

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 13:49:21

We are doing something about it, hence the campaign which i am.involvemed in. There was an article in the indeoendent on sunday. We have the fb page and twitter.

But the clothes and the toys are interlinked, its all part of the same marketing strategy.

5madthings Mon 10-Dec-12 13:51:36

Childrrn are influenced by the marketing and stuff is bought for them.and it all adds to the peer pressure of children to conform to gender stereotypes.

WomanlyWoman Mon 10-Dec-12 14:23:24

Hello op, I can see where you're coming from, I had the same prob with my Mum. As she was my mum I was able to tell her honestly how I felt, and she was able to completely ignore me grin We used to just put DD in the clothes her grandparents bought when we saw them, otherwise we just put her in stuff we liked. It's a bit trickier with toys, but our local charity shop has had some nice new toys donated... As for your MIL, I'd say something like, she's got lots of pink, I think she really suits....something else. My daughter has blue eyes and really suits the colour so I suggested that with a degree of success. Anyway, I lost my Mum earlier this year and now have the strange need to buy a really disgusting cardigan for Xmas for my daughter to keep up the tradition Mum started.

I think ppl who think pink is a non-issue are shortsighted tbh. I don't have any sort of embargo on anything but I do try and limit the pink influence because otherwise it becomes a limiting influence. It's not the colour, obviously, but the whole culture that goes with it. There may be nothing wrong with pretty pink princesses for a bit of fun, but I'd say there is a problem if that's the only thing filling a girl's head. We are teaching girls that looking pretty is the most important thing about them. I'm also in the Let Toys Be Toys campaign, here's why.

richardsimmonstanktop Mon 10-Dec-12 14:26:50

Nods along with 5mad and icb.

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Mon 10-Dec-12 14:42:22

DS came home from hospital in a pink Blondie bodysuit. I don't have any means of scanning the pictures so you will just has to take my word on it. He also has pink jeans and a few pink tops/jumpers along with a million other colours.

I personally don't see it as "Going along with it" to accept perfectly good clothes from a loving relative who has no agenda.

If it was the case of a the MIL flat out refusing to buy anything other than pink to prove a point to OP then yes, I would have words.

However it seems to be perfectly innocent situation here. A grandmother when out shopping sees an item of clothing that she thinks is nice and for no other reason buys it, thinking she is doing a good thing. Simply because she loves her GD and was thinking of her.

I completely agree that gender stereotyping is wrong and you all probably think I have missed the point spectacularly but I would never hurt my MIL over it and tell her everything she buys her grandchild is basically shite.

Well meaning grannies are not the problem IMO.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 10-Dec-12 14:52:10

this is what I do:

in general conversation, drop in several points about hating pink, thusly:

"oh, I wish shops would stop selling girls' clothes in just pink - there are other colours!"
"DD really suits bright colours like red, dark purple and green, I wish I had more clothes in those colours"
"I saw a lovely turquoise dress the other day, so much better than all the pink you see around."
"i fucking hate pink."

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 10-Dec-12 14:52:52

ps; YANBU

boys don't have it any better at the moment - beige, khaki and grey for them!

MerryLindor Mon 10-Dec-12 14:54:23

YANBU

Yes, it's lovely to her presents, and yes you are lucky to have a lovely MIL, but you can still have a whinge about the pink nonsense.

If it helps, once dd got to about 8 yo she turned her back on pink and now hates pink.

Which is quite tricky cause pink is still the dominant colour for girls.

SantaWearsGreen Mon 10-Dec-12 15:38:14

I told my mum to stop buying pink! So what? I just said I don't like the colour, it is vile and DDs look like plonkers in it (not actually a lie, it washes them out) so can you possibly find neutral things for them. She always complains now 'I really struggle to find other colours' hmm

Toys wise is an irritant too. DDs always have to get the pink version of shit. Didn't she learn from me? I hated pink as a kid, ripped barbies head off barbie hating psychopath.

Just say it now otherwise you'll have to deal with it for years.. Nightmare.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 10-Dec-12 16:03:33

craic

DD usually dresses in gender neutral colours.

today she has blue jeans, yellow/red socks, white vest, bright blue teeshirt and bright pink cardigan.

she dresses in all colours equally because we do not like her to be in pink all the fucking time.
sometimes she matches, sometimes she doesn't.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Mon 10-Dec-12 16:14:52

M&Co does lots of girls' clothes in other colours.
and Next.

Smudging Mon 10-Dec-12 17:57:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly Mon 10-Dec-12 18:11:37

How is pink "not even a colour, ffs"? confused. (if you really believe that, it shouldn't have the power to bother you, then, should it?)

Yamyoid Mon 10-Dec-12 20:53:56

Wow shock Trisha! Your link says it all really. I do feel quite strongly about the pink stereotyping issue and had thought mil would be on the same wavelength.

Thank you for the supportive comments. I AM grateful for the gifts and dd does wear the pink stuff mixed with other colours, except the really pastelly things go to charity. My dcs are lucky to have a generous granny who spoils them, and I am very appreciative of that.

I like the idea of saying another colour suits her, and if that happens to be within something mil has bought, then that makes it even better. As someone said, I can't expect her to be a mind reader.

I know clothes are trivial, but I don't have much money for them, so gifts of clothes are very welcomed and worn. Hence, my issue. And despite it being a trivial matter, I see lots of lovely girls' clothes which aren't pink and wonder why mil is blind to them!

Any way, the thing that annoyed me this morning was the bedroom accessories, it was a step too far, but I'll accept them gratefully. We've not decorated yet so when she sees the bright non pink colours she might realise!

And ds does have a pink T shirt and a pink car. When he was younger, pink was his favourite colour.

Yamyoid Mon 10-Dec-12 21:01:50

grin "I fucking hate pink"... that one will probably happen unintentionally when I don't realise she's in earshot.

MrsWolowitz Mon 10-Dec-12 21:10:26

"i think a bunch of women getting their knickers in a twist about what colours babies wear probably does more to reinforce gender stereotypes than anything else."

^ This ^

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 21:17:45

It's a shade not a colour. grin

It has no power to bother me but I don't like it and I bin any pink stuff I get given for that reason. Or dye it or spray it grin

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 10-Dec-12 21:22:12

I have girls and boys,I also have several bags of mixed vests and baby grows that live in my loft all in size order some are pink blue green red orange or other colours I'm very tight.

So all baby's have used all clothes since about 1993 I don't much care as long as they are clean and fit.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 10-Dec-12 21:26:56

>I find it so hard buying clothes for DD. Boys have much more choice.
No they don't - girls can choose from the whole kids range. My DD rejected pale/bubblegum pinks (and anything with silly logos/Hannah Montana/High school musical back then) so she happily chose clothes from the other side of the shop - nice blues, greens and (in next) even plain bright fuschia grin

upstart68 Mon 10-Dec-12 22:37:26

I think you have to try quite hard to find girls clothes that aren't pink - especially at the baby/toddler age.

I'd just be grateful for the free clothes myself.

You might get a dd like mine and my sister's who as soon as they could speak declared a deep dislike of all things pink. It then becomes a nightmare trying to find clothes and toys that aren't pink. Many lovely dresses we had to give away as she wouldn't wear them.

I've seen many a pair of trainers reduced to half price - but my dd won't let them near her feet as they all have flashes of the dreaded pink.

When she started school she changed her stance slightly - largely because pink was the favourite colour of many of her friends. It's "not that she hates pink, it's just not her favourite colour". But she still won't wear it.

helenlynn Mon 10-Dec-12 22:43:46

It isn't a non-issue. It would be a non-issue if girls got the odd pink flowery cardie and boys got the odd T-shirt with trucks on but on the whole kids of both sexes got a variety of clothes, toys and room stuff. In fact it's part of the whole massive edifice of the hyperpinkification of girlhood, whereby stuff for girls is overwhelmingly pink and flowery and frilly and delicate and to do with relationships and domestic stuff and appearance; meanwhile, the boy stuff is robust and outdoorsy with machines and monsters and fierce animals and science and tools and weapons. As adults, women get to earn less and do more childcare and housework and have more body-image issues; meanwhile, men get to have more problems with depression and violent behaviour. Perhaps these things are related. Perhaps they are not. Personally I think it stretches coincidence a bit.

The above thoughts don't mean, "I don't see why I should be thankful that we have clothes to put on our backs in the first place," or, "if someone gives me something a bit gender-stereotyped, I refuse to thank them and insult them instead," or, "I enjoy complaining about this stuff on the Internet, but don't bother to put my principles into practice."

(Also, for the avoidance of any possible doubt, and to save anyone the effort of typing out a reply based on the phrase "swivel-eyed loon," when I say "massive edifice" I don't mean "orchestrated conspiracy".)

GrimmaTheNome Mon 10-Dec-12 22:49:06

Spot on, HL.
Anyone else who agrees, who hasn't yet found the 'Let Toys be Toys' campaign, you might want to search for it (being without 'threads i'm on' at the mo I don't know where it is)

YANBU.

ICBINEG Tue 11-Dec-12 01:22:46

hahahaha so it isn't the big companies pushing pink for girls and blue for boys, or the vast swathes of the population that couldn't even envisage dressing a boy in pink that are reinforcing the stereotyping....oh no it is the people complaining that stereotyping is limiting their DC's experience of life that are doing the damage.

Do please get real!

Also craic it isn't that pink = girls and girls = bad. It pink = girls is a stereotype and stereotyping = bad.

Assuming girls prefer pink, assuming girls like flowers and butterflies, assuming that girls prefer ballet to football..completely ignoring the actual preferences of said girls...or maybe going so far as to force conformity on them...it's all just as bad as stereotyping all gay men as into musicals and fashion, or stereotyping all Albanians as thieves (random but it came up in the office today). Stereotypically girls are on average shorter/lighter than boys so why not buy smaller clothes for the girls in your life...oh wait it would be dumb to buy clothes before finding out what actual size your specific candidate is....so why not go the extra step and find out what colour they would actually specifically like too?

So in conclusion...don't just lazily assume you can guess what a girl in your life is into. There is far more difference between individual girls than there is difference between the average boy and the average girl.

espanol Tue 11-Dec-12 04:24:16

It's really not hard to find high street clothes that aren't pink! It just isn't! 90% of it is pink or lilac so it looks like everything is pink when you walk into shops but the other 10% offers more than enough clothes for the average small child smile. There might not be as much, but it's out there. Somebody has mentioned M&Co and Next already - they're both great. Tesco and M&S do nice colours often too although can be a bit 'flowery'. And one or two gorgeous tops from Polarn O Pyret (available online now) go a long way to colouring and de-gendering your child's wardrobe! They wash brilliantly so you can get a lot of wear and pass them down to siblings so are worth the investment.

A lot if it is still flowery/girly and I don't dress my DD in skirts/dressed much as i think they are less practical for rough and tumble toddlering like climbing and running so buy her trousers from the boys ranges or leggings. She still looks like a girl grin

I buy a lot of neutral stuff for DS so it can be passed down to DD so can confirm that nice non-blue stuff exists for boys too!

Would be happy to contribute to a thread of best non-gendered high street clothes if anyone on here thought that would be a useful thing to start. A 'fuck this pink and blue shit, we want colour!' thread perhaps smile

McPheastOfStephen Tue 11-Dec-12 04:32:44

5mad and icb, you speak a lot of sense

This is something which has grated me for years

5madthings Tue 11-Dec-12 08:07:40

Ooh i found the thread again! Mnet woyldnt let me in 'threads i am on' the trauma!!

Anyone interestef in the genderfication of childrens stuff esp toys please come and find us on the 'let toys be toys' threads and also on fb and twitter.

I agree with icb and helen and this is an issue and ignoring it wont make it go away. By debating it and talking about it we are raising awareness and perhaps some people will start to question it themselves and stop and think when shopping for children. reinforcing these outadated steretypes whether that be with clother ir accessories or toys is not good for our children.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 11-Dec-12 08:33:22

Oh, don't get rid of blue 'boys' clothes - lots of girls love blue of all shades. Next is good for (what I consider to be) ungendered t-shirts and jumpers which for some reason are put on the 'boys' side. It helps if you've got a child who doesn't give a stuff which aisle they're choosing from or which page of the catalog. Teach your kids (esp girls) that they can choose anything.

blonderthanred Tue 11-Dec-12 12:51:51

OP yanbu. We didn't tell anyone the sex of our baby in the hope we could avoid gender stereotyping - it didn't really work as people got even more obsessed about it.

What did work though was us setting up green as the baby's 'favourite colour' - almost to the point of a family joke. The nursery is white with green stuff and most of the clothes I bought in advance were white or green. So my DM, DSis etc started getting green stuff too!

Since our lovely baby boy was born 6 weeks ago, we have been deluged with blue. I am astonished - if he had been a girl I would have expected a load of pink but I didn't realise how fixated people seem to be on the pink-blue thing as a whole. And yes I do feel very ungrateful because it's wonderful that people care enough to give us gifts, but every package of pale blue makes my heart sink. We are so used to seeing him in white or bright colours that the pale blue just looks odd on him (yes, I know he is a 6wk old baby!).

My immediate family though still get him white or brightly coloured stuff though so he will have a good selection and the blues will of course get used. Just seems a shame to be so restrictive. The pink issue is such a multilayered one though - little girls can wear blue as well because emulating masculinity is seen as a positive, whereas little boys wearing pink is much less acceptable because they are dressing as the lesser sex. You can say this is over thinking but unfortunately it isn't.

I wish it was a 'non-issue' if I dressed DS in pink occasionally as well as all his lovely brights - we do have a few bits with pink/purple/flowers on though!

nickelbabylyinginamanger Tue 11-Dec-12 13:30:08
nickelbabylyinginamanger Tue 11-Dec-12 13:32:52

but, yes, blue for boys too - it's almost endemic hmm

DD is wearing blue today.
we got these fab dungarees from m&co in blue - the teeshirt that came with it was also blue (red and blue would have worked because there's red stitching on the dungees)
but it was in the boys' section.

she is wearing blue stripey tights, butof course, they've got flowers on, because heaven forbid anyone mistake them for boys' tights. hmmhmm

and a mint green cardi.

and an orange gruffalo vest.

helenlynn Tue 11-Dec-12 19:39:51

blonderthanred, you're quite right about why girls can wear blue/boys' things in general/a Spiderman costume to a fancy-dress party, while it's seen as shaming for boys to wear pink/girls' things/a fairy costume; I'm glad other people see it. It is definitely about moving up or down the gender and sex hierarchy.

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