to be pissed off about the kitchen politics at work

(75 Posts)
caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 10:38:28

Grrr...bosses PA has sent round a snarky patronising sexist email, complaining about the state of the kitchen...

This is after 3 snarky patronising posters she put up to the same effect

Its not her fecking kitchen is it? Control freaky freak!

people can surely stack or not stack as they see fit??

MyPlumPuddingHasGoneWeird Mon 10-Dec-12 10:40:38

Show us the email?

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 10:42:03

i really want to...but im scared Ill get 'found out' confused blush

Meglet Mon 10-Dec-12 10:43:31

stack? In the dishwasher?

So it's not just about dumping dirty tea-spoons in the sink? (that pisses me off, we have a dishwasher but the men just fling their spoons in there).

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 10:45:59

fuck it;

On the subject of the kitchen, can you please all try and keep it TIDY, please STACK your plates, cups, glasses etc. on the draining board, rather than trying to fit it in to whatever space you think is free or leaving it on the side. Also, the weird looking silver thing is a SINK, the objects coming off the sink are TAPS…..these are clever inventions that when turned make water appear….this water can then be used to WASH things. This means that instead of using every piece of cutlery in the drawer, you could perhaps wash it and reuse it! It is a small kitchen and your mothers/wives/girlfriends are not here to clear up after you so please KEEP IT TIDY!!!!!!

Im actually interested in people opinions on whether she is BU or I am for felling pissed off

Flisspaps Mon 10-Dec-12 10:48:53

Depends. As part of the admin tea at work we ended up cleaning the staff room kitchen because some staff decided it was beneath them. It wasn't 'our' kitchen but we were fucking sick of fishing bits of dinner or tea bags out of the bottom of the sink - or the dishwasher after a full cycle where some lazy bastard hadn't bothered to put it in the bin, giving the entire dishwasher a tea-rinse confused

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 10:50:10

It's certainly patronising but is it sexist?

Flisspaps Mon 10-Dec-12 10:50:17

Sounds like she's had enough of clearing up after lazy bastards who assume it's her job to clean up IMO.

I sympathise with her.

Meglet Mon 10-Dec-12 10:50:54

The bit about mothers / wives / girlfriends would annoy me.

It is bloody annoying though, when some people just think it's fine to make a mess in the kitchen all the time. Our receptionists are often ranting about it.

AngelGabrielWreakinHavoc Mon 10-Dec-12 10:51:05


How about you/your colleages keep the kitchen clean?
She is not asking anything out of the ordinary imo.


Jingleallthejay Mon 10-Dec-12 10:53:04

I think it is quite witty and a sarcastic she certainly got her point across maybe the messy buggers will clean up now

squeakytoy Mon 10-Dec-12 10:53:46

She probably has a point.. it isnt sexist.

BridgetJonesPants Mon 10-Dec-12 10:56:54

She is absolutely NOT being unreasonable. In fact, I think it's quite funny but makes the I'm going to copy it and post it in the kitchen at our work.

I cannot understand why people do not wipe down the work surface then clean & stack their dishes after they've used them. It's not an unreasonable request when you share a kitchen with others. If you want to be a clarty pig, do it in your own kitchen at home!

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 10:57:03

Oh I love whoever wrote that! grin

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 10:58:10

Ok…the kitchen is tiny
There is a bowl for tea bags and a cup for used tea-spoons, which everyone uses. The work surfaces are always clear and clutter free, and the sink is usually left empty. The ‘problem’ is that the draining board become quite full up of dirty cups etc, and she feels that they should be stacked better. But no-one does any washing up, as the cleaner does it all, so lack of draining board is no problem…it is just an asthetic problem

It is sexist; and fucking patronising, half the people in the office are girlfriends/wives/mothers…why the hell are we expected to ‘do it’???

Pandemoniaa Mon 10-Dec-12 10:58:21

She's probably sick and tired of the shytehole that the kitchen constantly resembles. I can't see the sexism myself.

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 10:59:50

I think you need to re-read it.

It's aimed at the people who rely on the wives/girlfriends/mother to clear up after them at home

If it's sexist the sexism isn't aimed at women

Pandemoniaa Mon 10-Dec-12 11:00:33

I think you are missing her point, OP. She's not saying that the girlfriends/wives/mothers that make up half the office should be expected to clean the kitchen. Instead, she's saying that the lazy men who seem to think this sort of domesticity is beneath them and who would normally leave it to their girlfriends/wives/mothers needn't bother to assume this applies at work.

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:01:38

you think its witty?! confused

jeez...I am going to flounce! grin I am right, she is wrong!

squeakytoy Mon 10-Dec-12 11:02:31

She is not saying that the women in the office should do it. She is saying that everyone should do their own cleaning and not rely on someone else to do it.

And women have mothers too...

CluffyDude Mon 10-Dec-12 11:03:38

I like her smile

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:03:39

i understand what she means...but she is suggesting that men are not capable of cleaning up

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:04:22

Are you a man OP?

Or someone with a female partner/mother who clears up after you?

TeWisBeenNargledByTheMistletoe Mon 10-Dec-12 11:04:48

Oh god, it's not witty, it's horribly patronizing.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Mon 10-Dec-12 11:05:14

She sounds like she's at the end of her tether. Someone needs to 'own' it to ensure its kept ok.
Personally I never understood how the highly paid managers, directors etc of one of the uk's biggest companies couldn't manage to wipe up their tea spills or put a mug in the dishwasher! Would drive me potty at work!!!

Pandemoniaa Mon 10-Dec-12 11:05:38

Sake! You are determined to misread this message, aren't you? She's not suggesting men are not capable of cleaning up. Instead, she's saying that they needn't bother to give this impression at work.

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:06:37

But some women can't shit without their Mum's coming to their rescue.

Perhaps she should've added 'Husbands, Fathers and boyfriends' too...although that would have made it unnecessarily long.

squeakytoy Mon 10-Dec-12 11:08:30

OP, are you one of the people who doesnt clear up after themselves. I can only think that you must be, because otherwise you would see her point.

Jins Mon 10-Dec-12 11:08:44

You don't like her do you? grin

InExitCelsisDeo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:09:11

I think she has been quite restrained.

I would be tempted to be much more blunt. Kitchen politics are a pisser, but I have hideous memories of mould growing in cups and rings of sticky goo.

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:11:31

end of her tether about what????? confused

that she cant control how people stack their cups/bowls??

No worra I am a SP to 2 young kids...I know how to clean grin

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions Mon 10-Dec-12 11:11:40

That's a fab email grin. I'm with the PA.


TeeElfOnTeeShelf Mon 10-Dec-12 11:12:09

I would have sent a similar email when I was the PA at an office.

There's nothing sexist about it. Clean up after yourselves and she won't need to send such messages.

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:13:05

No I'm with you OP. Very annoying, does she think it is witty?! And yes, it does imply that she either thinks only females clean up at home, or that it is just males making the mess. So she has probably annoyed men and women with the same poster!!

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:13:20

she doesnt have a point

squeakytoy Mon 10-Dec-12 11:13:56

Maybe if you all cleared your mess up she wouldnt have to send the email out in the first place eh!

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:15:13

thanks kak and tiwis

<we are right, all these other buggers are wrong!>

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:15:54

But why not just send an email saying "can EVERYONE please wash their dishes"? No need to bring sarcasm or people's female relatives into it...

AngelGabrielWreakinHavoc Mon 10-Dec-12 11:16:05

I dont understand these threads where people ask aibu then argue when they are told they are hmm

WorraLorraTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 11:16:35

I think she has a very good point.

Unless you're all under the age of 7yrs, I'm sure you can manage to keep the place tidy and the dishwasher properly stacked.

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:16:50

Agreed grin

DeWe Mon 10-Dec-12 11:18:47

She's not suggesting that men are not capable of clearing up. Rather the opposite. She's saying they are capable of clearing up and shouldn't be assuming it's for women to clear up after them.

I think it's funny too. grin

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:18:50

Well squeaky, I am very clean and organised, and can definitely say I don't contribute to any messes in my work kitchen (rarely use it). But if anyone in my work sent out that email I would think they were a twit.

YouOldTinsellySlag Mon 10-Dec-12 11:19:36

I've been a PA in my time and I find the tone of her note sarcastic and unprofessional.

If she wants a long term solution she needs to get people onside with a constructive solution or a rota, not just snip and snipe at them like their naughty kids. If I was on the receiving end of that note I would have HATED it.

I understand how these things can be annoying- everyone thinks it's somebody else's job etc, but the way she phrased it is just irritating and incendiary.

She will probably get a big lump of gift wrapped poo when she opens her secret Santa if she keeps this up!

YouOldTinsellySlag Mon 10-Dec-12 11:19:51


MoomieAndFreddie Mon 10-Dec-12 11:20:02

omg this has just reminded me why i hate working

YouOldTinsellySlag Mon 10-Dec-12 11:20:54

they're, not their, sorry.

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:21:24

And it is sexist... who says it's the men leaving the mess? Not the OP.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Mon 10-Dec-12 11:22:07

Send it to!

YouOldTinsellySlag Mon 10-Dec-12 11:23:16

Oh yes, I love that site!

Ephiny Mon 10-Dec-12 11:23:39

It sounds a bit ranty and unprofessional, and over-personal, like she's projecting her own issues onto other people (e.g. the wives/mothers thing).

Not really appropriate for work. What's wrong with a quick note to say please remember to clean up after yourselves?

mrskeithrichards Mon 10-Dec-12 11:23:49

Totally not witty I can't be fucked with people like her.

mrskeithrichards Mon 10-Dec-12 11:24:17

I also suspect she needs more work to do.

renaldo Mon 10-Dec-12 11:24:36

YANBU I hate these irratiting messages -
jsut lave a note reminding everyone ot clean up

YouOldTinsellySlag Mon 10-Dec-12 11:27:04

If she was a manager and spoke down to people like, they'd be taking out grievances. If I was her manager I would tell her to adjust her tone. You should treat colleagues with respect whether you like them or not and this tone is just bitchy and not appropriate for an office.

bamboostalks Mon 10-Dec-12 11:27:15

Terrible way to communicate, dreadful email. Someone who thinks she is far funnier than she is. Not remotely amusing.

MadSleighLady Mon 10-Dec-12 11:28:52

Doesn't make sense. Is it definitely in the cleaner's job description to wash up? If so, and assuming people aren't leaving nasty half-eaten meals on the draining board to make his/her life difficult, then the email is a bit random and she just isn't aware of the cleaning arrangements for some reason.

Suggest you send a reply-all asking for clarification on the acceptable height limit for stacking, because I'd be prepared to be she has one.

squeakytoy Mon 10-Dec-12 11:29:31

If she is a PA, then it is quite possible that her boss dictated this email and she is simply the messenger.

MadSleighLady Mon 10-Dec-12 11:30:22

And yes, the tone is ranty and unprofessional. YANBU there at all.

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:34:02

i dont object to her asking for the kitchen to be kept tidy (although, it really is already confused) It is the tone/sarcasm/condescention that she uses which makes me mad

and no, she isnt just the 'messenger' Boss looked a bit 'here we go again' when she brought it up in the morning meeting

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:35:24

yes, it is cleaners job to wash up...i questioned this recently as I was suprised that cleaner washes more than cups. She told me it was cleaners job...

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 11:36:03

Terrible way to communicate, dreadful email. Someone who thinks she is far funnier than she is. Not remotely amusing

^^this is how I feel

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 10-Dec-12 11:37:44

I'm a secretary in an office full of men. With two notable exceptions - one being the MD who is not above cleaning the kitchen area, I'm Lways the one who comes in to tea Gs in the sink, dirty coffee spoons and drips on the draining board etc.

I might use this myself - good on her.

openerofjars Mon 10-Dec-12 11:40:55

One of the cleaners where I work put up a note that started, "Fairies and elves don't come here at night to scrub your dirty pots and put them away...". I bloody love her.


MadSleighLady Mon 10-Dec-12 11:45:14

I guess stuff left in the sink would bother me too, because that gets in the way of refilling the kettle. It would also bother me if there wasn't enough clean stuff for me to use, regardless of whose official job it was to clean it.

But so long as everyone's not sharing the same teaspoon and used stuff is on the side, any remnants in the bin, ready for the cleaner to wash I can't see the problem. It's not anyone else's fault if she's suddenly decided the established cleaning arrangements don't suit her.

She sounds like she just enjoys getting the hump really.

trudolphtherednosedreindeer Mon 10-Dec-12 12:01:35

Buy a basin to put the dirty stuff in so it's less visible. It can live on the draining board til the cleaner comes to wash up.

Problem solved grin

No need to thank me but I prefer chocolate to wine or flowers.

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 12:02:57

Pictures, I imagine you'll get a much better response if you just rask them to clean up without getting sarky.

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 10-Dec-12 12:27:22

Tried that. It doesn't work.

kakapo Mon 10-Dec-12 12:28:54

The sarky note won't work either though - they'll just think you're a knob and enjoy leaving the dishes there grin

caterwauling Mon 10-Dec-12 12:36:50

Yep...Im afraid that the sarky emails and posters have had a detrimental affect on my standard of kitchen tidiness..I know its juvenille and irritating but there you go!

freddiefrog Mon 10-Dec-12 12:46:02

I know how you feel

A lady I used to work with years ago drove everyone mad with her control freakery over the stacking of the dishwasher and regularly put up notices and sent round emails

We all put our own stuff in there after use, and once full, the last person to put something in there turned it on. Everyone wiped down surfaces and cleared away rubbish after themselves

Worked well for years until she decided we were all stacking the bloody thing wrong

Then she moved on to the fridge

TuftyFinch Mon 10-Dec-12 12:48:02

Well you could have cleaned the kitchen instead of posting on here. I hope you're on your break grin

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 10-Dec-12 13:11:08

I was and have already washed up twice today.

Sokmonsta Mon 10-Dec-12 15:49:04

Yabu. I worked in a male dominated office and no one did the dishes, even the couple of women who worked there to be fair to the men. They kept joking it was 'women's work' or mine as the then office junior. I soon stopped it though. I had my own crockery which I used, washed then kept in my drawer. I suggest if you have an issue with people complaining generally then you do the same. That way you know you won't be responsible for the mess and can be smug and ignore all calls for the dishes to be done/left tidy.

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 11-Dec-12 12:55:02

My colleague does that dokmonsta as he got do fed up if there never being anything clean.

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