Mumsnet Talk

And I'm not wishing the time away. I'm not.

DS is 2 and genuinely a nice child; I enjoy looking after him and we all get on really well as a family.

But sometimes I look forward to the days when we can chat about stuff, go to the cinema to see a movie we'll all enjoy and take him out for a proper meal. Peppa Pig (and the constant chatter about it) can be a bit wearing...

AIBU? Tell me about your lovely teens

You are definitely not being unreasonable- it's the best age, in my opinion.

Just bear in mind that many teens won't be seen dead going out with their parents.

It is lovely when they chat to you if you can overlook 'like' every third word and ignore 'totes' and 'lol' said as a word

In my experience 8-12 is lovely, old enough to do the things you mention like cinema and trips etc . You can have great conversations at this age , they are starting to have opinions about the world and I have found each time it's like discovering things anew.

What is this going out in public with your teen, that you speak of?

My teen talks at me. It's like a machine gun.

That said I can really enjoy his company on a regular basis.

I loved my childrens teen years, definitely the best years.

YY to the 8-12 age bracket, before they get all hormonal and think you're the most embarrassing thing, like, EVAH.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Ha.

as mum of a 16 yr old DD YADNBU.. it's brilliant!

Dd has just headed out on her bday night out, she's 18 tomorrow.

I don't think she's been seen out with me in public since she was about 14, not without being under duress.

ddtwins are nearly 14 now but still think boys are horrid (thank god). They're mostly lovely, they are also self-breakfasting, self dressing and 50% self bedroom tidying.

Its a shame teenagers get shown in such a poor light on MN.

Op - Ha Ha Ha!
They won't want to talk to you when they are teens except when asking for money & lifts.
They then improve when they have gone off to university and get to be quite nice human beings by their mid-20s.
7-11 junior school age is good.
(My DSs weren't too bad as teenagers, but had better things to do than talk to aged parents).

Ha! Just dropped dd and her friends at the cinema.
Any contributions I tried to make to the conversation were definitely unwelcome
She is 12, btw.

I love my teens. DS1 will be 18 on Friday, he is the most pleasant young man, with a wicked sense of humour. We can, and do, talk for hours and hours. I hate the fact that come September he will be off to Uni, I shall miss him so, so much!

DS2 will be 16 on Christmas Eve. He is wonderful too. He tells everyone I am his best friend, he had girl friend troubles and asked for my advice, he will come to concerts, the cinema, anywhere with me. DH is going away for 4 months just as DS1 goes off to Uni, DS2 says it is going to be like being housemate with his best friend when we are on our own. He is even hoping we have a little trip away!

I have absolutely loved the teen years, definitely the best years for me.

I'm so enjoying the teenage years too, we have a good giggle,lots of nice chats and some lovely days out.

I've always been able to chat to my teens.

schlock I fully understand I will have to resort to bribery to get him to come out with me

YANBU - I love the way my teens take the mick out of me and make me laugh. Witty little feckers, they are!

I get a bit of dust in my eye when I look at them and can see the fine women they're turning into plus it's great to able to relax a bit and be more myself around them, without having to set a good example all the ruddy time

MsElleTow - that's so lovely! My eldest girl left for uni in September and it's the strangest feeling. Half of me is still here but half of me is wherever she is. Bonkers!

usual I think teens get shown in a bad light everywhere!

See, everyone told me having a newborn was awful, then it was 'wait until he walks, it'll be dreadful' and 'talking?! Horrendous! Just you wait!' And it wasn't bad. And the toddler bit just isn't that bad either. There are shit bits, but you get shit bits in life really, regardless of children I think.

I've just been, oh so politely, ooshed out of the other sitting room, as they have two Dear Little Friends round for watching dvds, eating sweets and giggling all bloody night a sleepover.

almost yes, DS isn't a runner so I don't have to glue myself to him, but DH and I are constantly watching him, checking him, correcting him and watching our own behaviour to set a good example... I love him, the way he is and how he's changed me for the better but I'm looking forward to the young man he will become.

you don't need to wait for teens, junior school age is great for all those things. I don't have experience of teens yet.

YANBU to look forward to the less mind numbing stuff necessary with toddlers but will also NBU when you have a teen to look backward and wish you could still cuddle up with Peppa Pig with them.

My eldest is 17 and I will be in bits when he leaves for Uni. We had a few wobbles age 13-15 but every stage has pretty much been good with him and enjoyable. We are not BFFs, he doesn't share much but we still do stuff together and have endless debates. He is a nice kid, like your DS. His sister, on the other hand.....

Oh and I have a toddler too, so still not rid of Peppa .

Dd is 11 and the last few years have mainly been lovely. Shopping, lunch out, cinema, holidays just the two of us, art galleries, etc.

However she is definitely getting more grumpy. Can fly off the handle and be quite nasty at times. I kind of wish I could have frozen her at about 9 or 10.

Tbh I find the (nearly) teen years as hard if not harder than when ds was 2.

The lie ins are better and not broken nights but my God you have to be on your toes constantly or they are one step ahead all the time.

Like Almost says, it is lovely when you realise you have a proper person with their own sense of humour and personality

DS is 16. Most of the time he is lovely. He has been lovely most of he time all the way through, but the not lovely bits have been different at different ages. I found the toddler tantrums easier to deal with than sleepless nights as a newborn, Writting on walls and wrecking stuff at 3 easier than attempted attitude at 13. Constant talk of bodily functions at 8 easier to deal with than the flash emotions of 15.... But this is just me.

Looking forward to the DD's getting older, DD1 and I have many shared interests and she is like my little best friend (now 7) and DD2 (4) is a law unto herself, really looking forward to her bursting through every stage of life with her own interminable style!

Do you mean inimitable rather than interminable froggies ?

yy mineork
My teens are great. They were also wonderful at 5,6,7.....9,10,11,12. Under 5 was hard though.
DS1 is 17 in a couple of weeks and we had a lovely day today we went Christmas shopping, had lunch together then came home and we've just decorated the tree together.
They are not all eye rolling morons.

We have teenagers and a 3 year old. The teenagers can be very good company but they can also be a lot worse than toddlers. A young child having a tantrum is not nearly as embarrasing or long as a teenager's tantrum/rant/sulk. Plus you don't have to worry about drugs with a toddler (other than clamouring for Calpol constantly ).

The conversations can be better as well. I had a debate with the 16 yo yesterday about press regulation - my 5 yo kept interrupting with anecdotes of his playground Spiderman game. So, YANBU.

YABU in my experience

1 of them is pretty good

the other is another story and seriously find him very very hard to cope with,and maybe will not be living here by christmas

so your not totally aibu,uve just caught me at a bad time

im sure you will enjoy them years

What's your secret then ladies? Your teens all sound lovely. Op I think yabu, I am dreading the teenage years, mainly because I wouldn't wish my teenage self on any parents. Saying that I feel like I'm getting a preview with my 4 yr old. He's just stomped upstairs and slammed his bedroom door because I gave him a row for stabbing me with his sword!

i also have a 5yr old and hes fab

i dont want him to grow up

Oh yes, not wishing time away at all. I love DS' company, chatting to him etc.

I just look forward to the time when he can appreciate life's niceties; going for a meal, shopping, out walking, holidays, all the good stuff

Love hearing about your teens. DS is (and will remain) the only one, so there is a lot of focus on him I suppose.

acceptableinthe80s My DSs were both horrid at four. As four year olds they could out tantrum any two year old. They had staying power.
My teenage self was horrible but my teenagers are lovely.
Must their father's genes .

Teenagers are great! I have much preferred these years (tho dd1 is now 20) - I found pre-teens hard work and largely unrewarding.

Yes, there have been some hormone-induced unpleasant bits, but on the whole it's great fun. Lots to share and discuss and I love their senses of humour.

We've always played sport together and I think that has helped.

Be prepared for lots of taxi-ing though unless you live somewhere with good public transport.

I don't think you need to wait to a teen. My 2 are 12 and 10 and the last few years have been fun!

In my experience teenagers and toddlers are much the same in their attitudes.

look out for grunting and Oh mum and be prepared for them not going anywhere with you for a few years but apart from that it is ok, but you have years to prepare

I LOVE seeing them grow into their gorgeousness, with the world at their feet. You can't beat it.

My teenage DD (16) is fab and a real person (has always been ). She does go to the cinema/theatre/rock gigs with me - infact she bought Madness tickets for us both for my birthday and came with me to see them. I did the same with Noah and the Whale for her.
YADNBU! But as others say, this lovely time can start from about 8ish (alhtough DD did have a hormone surge at about 9/10 which made her a bit stroppy for a month or two).

....NO NO NO - your real worries will just only just begin then .... and you will have an articulate teenager who can argue back..... enjoy your time with your "little ones".

.. my Son has just passed his Driving Test and I haven't seen him for the last week or so - our conversations now centre around his comings and goings - he seem to go on lots of "little trips" out and about and is just relishing in his independence ...

This is great but it's icy out there and lots of silly drivers and I am worrying like mad...

I am pleased (and if I was honest also very very sad) that he has finally after all these years got to where he wanted to be - when he was little and asked for anything I always said "when you are 18".... now it's here I feel redundant .. and need to let go..

Enjoy it and don't wish it away - time really does go very very fast..

Hmm. If DS is similar to my 15 year old brother, there may be hope. He's a total tit sometimes, but generally he's actually a lovely lad. He will even hug me in public now

I kind of know what you mean, but actually find I can do some of that now DS is three. He's a very curious child, wants to know everything, and loves learning, so we go out to museums and art galleries. He told me off recently for going to the British Museum without him!

I've enjoyed DS much more since we've started being able to interact and do things properly together, and I really can't wait for that to just continue to increase

Must be just me who would love to swap my two teenagers for 2 toddlers.

when ds was a tot I didn't see the point of being a parent to a teen lol
but once I he got there, such fun.
I really think the teen years and after are some of the best,
he is in his 20's now and I really enjoy him

I did enjoy all the stages of my ds growing up, but must admit I've loved the teen years.
He get's my jokes, he truly understands when I can't afford to get him something, he really is a perfect companion , he's 17 and we do seem to be kindred spirits.
He'll be off to Uni next year
That will be a whole other thread.

DS (14) is actually interesting to talk to these days, we sometimes like the same films and TV series, and we go to festivals together (just the two of us) and sometimes go right down the front for bands we both like. His friends are reasonably civilised too.

there are years in between when you can have a proper chat. start now! he probably thinks peppa pig is all you're capable of.

Have just thought of an advantage. DS1 (13)- is still asleep at 8.20am on a Sunday morning, and will be for the next few hours probably. DS2 loves his sleep too so that's good.

Yay, kindred spirits! I love love love having my two teens around. they are interesting and funny in a way that it has taken till now to become. Definitely my favourite age.

I went through a hard time (nothing to do with the kids) and ended up at the doctor. She asked me about my kids and what age they were. When I told her she nodded sympathetically and said 'that must be hard'. It took me a moment to figure out what she meant. This is by far thd best age IMO (so far, but it'll be hard to beat!)

I'm enjoying my DC's teens...so far .

They are still in bed this morning for a start. You can leave them in the hosue alone. You can ask them to make you a cup of tea.

There are big issues for them obviously _ sexuality, body image, drugs, alcohol, but I do feel it's worth not worrying obeself to distraction, to keep talking, talking, talking and if at all possible to ensure they're busy.

Teens can be olvely. I have two. One cooks all the time is rubbsih at tidying up after though and is a very nice person. He doesn't particularly want to spend time out of the house with me, but would if asked.

One is 15. She loves me - I really mean that, loves my company, etc. and I hers.

Not all teens are awful.

My teens are lovely as well. The only thing is you have to start sharing them with gf/bf.
DS 17 is just going out for the day to celebrate his one year anniversary with his history gf.

DS is 13 and the loveliest boy! DD is 11 and recently a hellbeast. So it doesn't always follow that they're easier when they get older!

I know what you mean, though. I'd prefer to deal with DD's attitude/arsiness/yelling/rudeness every day than amuse a toddler.

My DD are 15 and 20. DD1 is at uni and is coming home today for the holiday period. I am so looking forward to it as she and i are so alike (which can also lead to some clashes at times) and she is a lot of fun to have around. DD2 is a gem and she loves spending time with me. I feel i have been very lucky!

bruffin history gf? Does he have a different one for each subject?

Oh dear damn phone, no meant his gf. She is lovely so hopefully she won't be "history" too soon

bruffin yy to the sharing with GF, you have to learn great diplomacy. Makes me read all the MIL bashing threads in a whole different light.

Ds has a girlfriend, they had their 'one month' anniversary the other day..
I do dread the future sometimes when I read MIL threads on here, I hope he chooses a long time partner that likes me.

I am too. I know there'll be challenges, but i think being the mother of teenagers will suit MY personality better. I have always wanted my children to be independent. I prefer having conversations (or sort of) than coo-ing over play dough creations.

innoparticularorder
Must be just me who would love to swap my two teenagers for 2 toddlers.

nope me as well

I liked the toddler age. The little eager faces, the sweetness, their wonder in everything. Although saying my youngest ds was the devil incarnate as a baby/toddler.

My latest teenager is ds4 who's 13. He's a gorgeous little dude. Very much like me in his ways so we can argue till the cows come home but he's so loving, funny and caring.

But don't be fooled OP there can be hellish times in those teenage years. I could have happily throttled ds2 a thousand times over in his teenage years.
he's not much better now

YANBU...DD is 4 and I adore her personality, she makes me laugh and laugh. I enjoying seeing her grow and become her own person, so I'm really looking forward to the next phases, teens included

My dd is 9 and ds 8, they are marvellous ages imo. They think I'm wonderful and listen to what I'm telling them. Ds has a fantastic dry sense of humour and dd is unbelievably sweet. Teenage years I foresee them hating me and never listening to me so I think yabu!

Yabu. It's hell.

Long discussions into the early hours about current affairs, relationships and general crap with your witty teen are unbeatable.
Long waits into the early hours for the call to drive into the middle of fuck knows where to pick them up after a night out are unbearable.

IME, primary age ( esp 8,9,10) is wonderful.

They are still a child, yet more aware and interested in the outside world.

Just had a special day out with DS1, age 10, and we had such a nice time together!

I love 10