What's the most rude thing anyone has ever said/done to you?

(285 Posts)
gail734 Fri 07-Dec-12 15:08:32

OK, I know it's not really an AIBU, but it features people being definitely U! I was just putting on some eyeshadow (as you do) and I remembered this: a) years ago, I was in a noisy pub and drunk man said to his wife, "Look at this girl, isn't she lovely?" His wife looked right at me and said, "She would be if she'd learn to do her eye makeup right." Still no idea what was wrong with my eye makeup, so presumably am still making the same terrible mistake!

b) I once went on a very short taxi journey and the fare was £5. I gave the taxi driver £5.50, ie a 10% tip. He looked down at it and said, (I kid you not) "That's not much of a tip." I just went, "Thanks! Bye!"

c) My boyfriend gave me a pair of earrings for my birthday. I said to my friend, "Oh, I see you're looking at my earrings. DP gave me them for my birthday." "Is that ALL he gave you?" "Yes. They ARE real." (They were pearls.) She then said, "Oh. They don't LOOK real."

d) I was once flashed at. A proper, open-up-your-brown-raincoat flash. I was about 23, and it was right in the centre of the city, in broad daylight. The thing was, the flasher was a bit of an amateur and got the timing wrong. He let me get too close to him before opening up the raincoat. I didn't look down, so I didn't see anything. Still rude though. Or am I being over-sensitive?

Andula Fri 07-Dec-12 15:16:13

several people sent me a virtual biscuit on /parenting - it's an outrage

TheDuchessOfEarl Fri 07-Dec-12 15:20:00

"Oh yes, I remember you. You were much thinner then"

I was a size 10 at the time & he nearly ended up wearing my drink. Twat.

gail734 Fri 07-Dec-12 15:21:18

Oh, well. A virtual biscuit is not as rude as a real-life biscuit and has fewer calories.

tattychicken Fri 07-Dec-12 15:23:52

My FIL when DH and I broke the news I was pregnant with DC4 ' Well, you come from that sort of stock!' shock

catgirl1976geesealaying Fri 07-Dec-12 15:25:02

Recent ones:

"Our breakup was the best thing that ever happened to me"

"I was going to get that jumper but it made me look really frumpy"

WeAreSix Fri 07-Dec-12 15:29:50

On breaking the news of my first pregnancy (after a miscarriage, an ectopic, ttc for 2 years all of which she was aware of)

"Is that good news then?"

On my second pregnancy:

"That's a bit quick. Best you sort out your contraception young lady!"

On my third:

"Right. You'll just have to tie a knot in it. "

SilverBellsandCockleShells Fri 07-Dec-12 15:30:00

Does it count if it was my eight year-old son?

I like that dress, Mummy, it makes you look thin ... for you!

gail734 Fri 07-Dec-12 15:31:02

Just remembered one! My friend came into the room and went, "Ewww... have you just sprayed air freshener in here?" Em, no... but I have just sprayed my highly expensive Estee Lauder perfume in here. Maybe not intentionally rude, that one. Oh, and my younger brother's best mate said to me on the dancefloor at my wedding, "You dance like my dad." I was wearing a meringue, so I wasn't able for the slinky moves.

Pipsytwos Fri 07-Dec-12 15:32:50

Some girl to my 21 year old sister and our other sister's wedding in front of me 'why aren't you engaged yet? Oh I guess you're going to follow the [Surname] tradition of popping out a sprog first?!' Charming b***h!

gail734 Fri 07-Dec-12 15:33:00

Hahaha, SilverBells! My friend's five year old DS asked her, "Mummy, did you used to be a beautiful lady?"

mrskeithrichards Fri 07-Dec-12 15:34:27

When I started a new job the admin worker had been opening a file or whatever for me. She came over and mentioned my address, said 'oh I grew up there' or right said I, not really fussed, she then declared 'I don't now, we moved, it's no place to raise a child, how old is your son again'

And she's been a bitch ever since!

PeppermintPasty Fri 07-Dec-12 15:38:54

"Oh she's the fat one in the family". -I'm not. Said to a stranger in front of me when I was about 13.

"What on earth's happened to your boobs, they've shrunk. Oh I suppose that's the pill". -Said to student me (ie young and vulnerable) in front of a friend.

"Why are you wearing that?" said in a nice tone of voice to me last year (I am 44), "it's very strange, not your usual style at all".

When informed of my pregnancy "You don't want children. What on earth are you having children for?"

Oh yes people. All said by my loving MOTHER!! Loads more examples I won't bore you with wink

I realised when I read the thread title that no one else has ever really been so spectacularly rude to me as she...

...Now, directions to the Stately Homes thread anyone grin

NiniLegsInTheAir Fri 07-Dec-12 15:40:55

My new FIL at the evening do of my wedding - "I always thought your DH was going to marry someone mousy."

Was too afraid to ask if I filled that criteria or not. Made me feel shit either way. sad

DuchessofMalfi Fri 07-Dec-12 15:45:34

Too many over the years, but more recently MIL deliberately calling me by DH's first wife's name. Not as if I stole him away from first wife either - several years' gap inbetween, so she'd have had plenty of time to forget the first one and remember mine.

And NDN shouting at me "everybody hates you, why don't you move?" Charming.

I once had a secondary school boy spit in my face. A proper spit too.

That was quite rude. I still dont know why.

2lazyboys Fri 07-Dec-12 15:48:58

Telling someone I had gave birth 2 weeks ago, " what, your due in 2 weeks?"- said in a voice full of sarcasm!

Old lady called me a fucking arsehole at the top of her voice outside a busy shopping centre after nearly barging into me, I was 9 months pregnant and like the side of a house, dunno how she didn't see me!

I can't remember the exact words I've blanked them out for her own safety but after DS was born, on the day I came out of hospital, XSIL said something along the lines of:
Ooh see this is what I worry about when I have children. I just couldn't bear to be fat afterwards...

It's better than being ugly SIL

Lilymaid Fri 07-Dec-12 15:51:15

Not spoken, but written -
My last school report (just before A Levels) from my secondary school. It was so negative I'm surprised I didn't give up then and there. I dread to think what had been written as my reference on my university application.

gail734 Fri 07-Dec-12 15:51:16

NiniLegs - we could start a thread about unreasonable things that people said on our wedding days! A cousin of mine said, "Hang on, don't move!" Then reached out and painfully plucked out a grey hair that had caught her eye. Suppose she was doing me a favour! A mad old auntie of my decided to critique the speech I had just made at my mother's funeral. She came up to me at the bunfight afterwards and said, "You did very well. I could hear your voice shaking at some points, but overall it was good." Eh, thanks?

OnwardBound Fri 07-Dec-12 15:51:30

"When are you due?"

Last night, at my work Christmas do.

And I thought I was looking quite nice too sad

TBF she didn't mean to be rude and was mortified when I told her I wasn't actually pregnant [just ate too many mince pies grin]

Cezella Fri 07-Dec-12 15:52:59

Running down the college hill once to catch a bus, wrapped in my coat and it was pouring it down. Girl says to another girl about me, intentionally loudly enough for me to hear: "Wow there's some f*****g ugly people in this world"

Waitressing in a restaurant. The chefs made a mistake and sent chips instead of rice. Lady: "if you don't get those chips changed NOW, I'm going to go for your neck"

Another customer pretended to spit on me once as I put her meal down.

NameGotLostInCyberspace Fri 07-Dec-12 15:53:52

when DH came to live here;
"Oh, its good here for the benefits". shock He can't claim anything you stupid bitch!

"I wanted to marry someone foreign, you're not exotic enough for me"

"I could never kiss you in a pub in front of other people"

"All your friends think you have a pretty face - it's just I don't"

All Ex- husband

TwoFacedCows Fri 07-Dec-12 16:04:48

my nan " you'd be so pretty if you wasnt so fat" god love her!

ElectricSoftParade Fri 07-Dec-12 16:16:23

MIL to her DS, my DH "It's a good job you married her. At least the children now have a decent name" shock

MIL to me a couple of days after my sister died "Shame you lot don't live long, eh" accompanied by an elbow nudge.

lostconfusedwhatnext Fri 07-Dec-12 16:20:37

When I was about 12 a friend of my dancing teacher came in to the class. They had a brief conversation and then the teacher scanned the room and called me and another girl by name. Up we trotted, all bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

"This is my friend Mrs X who is a wonderful designer of children's clothes, and is having a fashion show soon. Isn't that exciting! Wouldn't you like to model the girls' clothes?" Erm i don't know, can I see the clothes first? Of course we didn't say this but feigned a suitable twee excitement out of politeness.
"So," said my dance teacher, "you can use Othergirl as your pretty model and Lost as the dumpy one..."
This was one of the triggers of a 4 year toast binge.
I was not dumpy. I mean not willowy. But ... oh never mind.

theloniousjunk Fri 07-Dec-12 16:21:20

Last year at my mum's Christmas party. Brought my then 3 month ds to meet her friends and the prat husband of one of them, after meeting ds, pats my admittedly warped tummy and goes "And what have we got in here then?". "An empty womb" was my reply.

GilmoursPillow Fri 07-Dec-12 16:22:39

Years ago a family friend and I skipped the party we were at (his family's party) and sloped off down the pub. Friend's wife was overseas.

A group of women at the bar obviously knew the guy I was with and one said to another, "Is that his wife?" The second woman looked at me and said, "Nah, his wife's much prettier than 'er." grin

Zavi Fri 07-Dec-12 16:24:16

My DC: " Mum, when you were younger did you used to be attractive?"

Was driving at the time and almost crashed the car grin

gnoomi Fri 07-Dec-12 16:24:41

My parents were having a Xmas eve drinks party for some of DF's colleagues and their partners. My DM opened the door to one woman who said 'Hallo, you have very small breasts' and then walked into the house.

shemademedoit Fri 07-Dec-12 16:27:34

One of my little darlings: Mummy, you're not ugly or fat. Especially not ugly.....

Beksybob Fri 07-Dec-12 16:27:58

As I walked past a table of women in a pub "I hate it when you see pregnant women drinking". Double insult - not only was I fat, I was a bad mother to the imaginary baby.

MorrisZapp Fri 07-Dec-12 16:29:21

A college report I received said I was 'haughty'.

I quite like that though. Which probably proves their point.

LaQueen Fri 07-Dec-12 16:29:31

On our wedding day, having just exchanged our vows, feeling on Cloud Nine, and standing chatting to guests, my Mum piped up with: 'When I saw MrQueen's face as you walked down the aisle, I thought to myself "I suppose he does love her, after all"'

Thanks...that's great Mum hmm

wineandroses Fri 07-Dec-12 16:30:52

Talking to an acquaintance, told him he'd lost a lot of weight and looked really good. His response to me - with smug smile - yes, he had lost weight and clearly had given it to me because I was looking really fat. Thanks you twat

Another one: random stranger on the street "excuse me love, do you know the way to weight watchers?" me "no, sorry" him "thought not". And I weighed all of 8 and half stone at the time.

Some people are just spiteful bastards.

Fakebook Fri 07-Dec-12 16:33:52

I met my husband's cousin after we got married. She'd been at the wedding but I hadn't met her on the day. Anyway, she started analysing my face and told me I looked better on my wedding day as I was wearing "so much make up". I replied, "hmm yes, I'd thought it was a wedding glow, but ok!" She came back with "yes you're true face is coming out now".

Now I'm no super model, but I pride myself for having blemish free skin. This woman is the same age as me and had visible acne scarring and dark melanoma patches across her cheeks and forehead. Strange woman.

blondiep14 Fri 07-Dec-12 16:36:27

My DS1 (4) said to me last night 'you need to go back to fat club Mummy, look at your tummy'
When I said it takes a while to go down after just having a baby, he said 'you haven't just had a baby Mummy, she's almost 10 weeks now'

NiniLegsInTheAir Fri 07-Dec-12 16:37:51

I have another one grin

All glam, dressed up and feeling great for my best mate's hen do - we'd hired a limo into London. Got there, we're all getting out when some twat across the street yells "Who let the dogs out?"

Rude, but did make me laugh!

EldritchCleavage Fri 07-Dec-12 16:38:07

I walked into a room at Uni and a bloke standing with my friends just looked me up and down and said 'Fat calves'. I was upset at the time, but later I realised he was just issuing any old nasty put down because he was a horrible man.

cheekybaubles Fri 07-Dec-12 16:42:04

My DM "I'm surprised your DH married you, I would have thought that you were a bit tarty for an Indian?"

Thanks Mum

cheekybaubles Fri 07-Dec-12 16:44:44

I have had an awful eye condition for past year and on a rare night out my BF said "You used to have beautiful eyes, you haven't now" Just what I needed to boost my low self-esteem.

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 07-Dec-12 16:46:30

Outspoken woman at work she really needs to get out more told me that she couldn't understand what my lovely other half saw in me. When I pull her on up on this she said that he's such a nice person and I'm too bitchy for him - gee thanks

My dad introducing me and my sister- me as the clever one and her as the pretty one (theres 5 years worth of therapy material right there)

And my MIL announcing that she would love to have a figure like those in girls aloud and then turning to me and saying 'bet you would like to have a figure as nice as theirs too'

I'm surrounded by some really lovely peoplr

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 07-Dec-12 16:47:07

So in conclusion to the above I'm a fat, ugly bitch lol

laptopdancer Fri 07-Dec-12 16:49:57

Anyone who has ever been overweight has probably got a million of these.
Ive had:
"excuse me madam, you wont find anything in here for YOU" in a boutique (I was size 16)
"why drive when you can roll?" at a traffic light
and public humiliation in large lecture theatres and at school
On a cold day, no jumper : Teacher "no jimper? Oh well, I suppose fat people like you dont feel the cold anyway"
Lecture theatre : lecturer talking about his research starving rats and looking at certain effects, points me out and says "of course for SOME people, missing a fe meals might just do them some good"

and it goes on......

laptopdancer Fri 07-Dec-12 16:50:56

few meals, sorry

waterlego Fri 07-Dec-12 17:09:59

Bloody hell @ these! shock

When I was about 14 and working in a cafe, a local perve businessman came in and said cheerily: 'gosh, you look like you've been eating all the profits!' I was about 8 stone and a size 10. confused

The partner of a family member (elderly) once told me: 'you'd be so pretty if it weren't for all those terrible spots on your chin'. I did have nasty acne at the time but not sure why he thought he needed to draw my attention to it.

LaQueen Fri 07-Dec-12 17:17:13

At a girl's night out, my SIL turned to me out of the blue, and announced: "It's no secret that I've never liked you LaQueen"

Oh, right...it's news to me, but okay then...I sloped off back to the bar blush

Not surprisingly, SIL is generally considered wholesome and nice, but essentially charmless...luckily, I'm well charming, and always the life and soul - can't for the life of me think why she doesn't like me hmm

Jingleflobba Fri 07-Dec-12 17:20:49

"Are you fucking stupid? What were you thinking?" Continue on in that vein for about 5 minutes...
FIL when we announced I was pg with DS. Tbf he was in shock and we were skint. 12 years on and 3 children later he is an adoring grandad (with a special fondness for DS)

freddiefrog Fri 07-Dec-12 17:26:48

DH, my girls and I walking in the entrance of a supermarket. DD2 is a bit dreamy and accidentally got in the way of a man coming out of the entrance - it was a sort of 1 way system, the exit was a different door iyswim

Barged into DD2 knocking her over and said to me

'Get your fucking ugly sprog out of my way'

DH had to restrain me to stop me going after him.

Feminine Fri 07-Dec-12 17:30:41

I used to be a model.

My Mum's 'date' said to me: "You actually look a lot better in your pictures" after she had asked me to show him my portfolio.

I have had numerous rude/cruel things said to me over the years. That is the only one I allowed to stick for some reason.

BarceyDussell Fri 07-Dec-12 17:35:01

Smug, annoying woman from my NCT group who lost her baby weight v quickly (it took me many years months to lose it).

Gives a leaflet about some kind of exercise class to one of the skinny girls in the group, goes to offer me one saying "are you interested in..oh..I don't suppose you are" and puts it back in her bag.

Happily I am now a toned, size 10 gym bunny and very much enjoyed bumping into her again (while she was still losing the weight from her twins).

LaQueen Fri 07-Dec-12 17:43:46

My (ex) best friend: "I suppose you are quite pretty, when you wear make-up - but, I think it's better to have my type of natural beauty, then you don't need to rely on make-up'

Er...okay...except how come I was the one always being asked to do promotional work for local bars and clubs when we were students. And you somehow...weren't?

I think your natural beauty was only actually apparant to you hmm

waitingtobeamummy Fri 07-Dec-12 17:44:21

"is this your clever grandaughter?" "no no this is my other grandaughter" gcse's, a levels and a degree but not a Dr like my cousin so thick as shit! smile

freddiefrog Fri 07-Dec-12 17:48:34

Oh, and from woman at school when they'd heard DH and I foster

'i'm too kind, I couldn't do it, I'd get too attached'

Yeah, cruel heartless bitch me.

kate2boysandabump Fri 07-Dec-12 17:53:39

The midwife when I wad in labour with ds1, "you've done really badly for stretch marks". Thanks

almapudden Fri 07-Dec-12 17:56:12

On a night out aged about 16, with my petite, pretty friend. Boy comes over to friend in the taxi queue, starts talking to her, notices me and says, "What is that?!".


Binkytub Fri 07-Dec-12 18:00:02

My sensitive uncle used to call me 'Beef to the heel, like a Mullingar heifer' loudly, as often as possible when I was a teenager. Being a sensitive soul, this would drive me straight into my bedroom to hide/sulk for hours on end. One afternoon, emerging, blinking into the living room, my aunt (on my dad's side this time) said 'oh don't let him bother you. I was a big fat lump too when I was a teenager and look at me now!'
The bizarre thing is, I wasn't even that fat, a size 14 maybe. Oh, and both aunt and uncle went on to have at least one child each who was much fatter than I've ever been. My mum and I have never said anything but do have the occasional chortle abut it!

LondonButterfly Fri 07-Dec-12 18:05:01


Another one: random stranger on the street "excuse me love, do you know the way to weight watchers?" me "no, sorry" him "thought not". And I weighed all of 8 and half stone at the time

I got the impression that when he said thought not, it was because you were 8 and a half stone and therefore didn't need to go to WW. So therefore you wouldn't know the way.

PackItInNow Fri 07-Dec-12 18:06:02

Going out clubbing with a friend (many ears ago), we passed a load of lads. Now my friend has a major facial disfigurement and one of the lads decided to say "Wow, isn't she f***ing ugly" to which I grabbed him by the scruff, flung him against a bus shelter and told him that I would break his f***ing legs if he disrespected her again.

He asked if I was angry, so I told him "I haven't even started getting angry, now piss off before you end up eating shitty hospital food".

Yama Fri 07-Dec-12 18:10:23

I have two:

1) After I'd lost the excess weight I'd put on in my early 20's from drinking copious pints of lager, my Gran said "Good, you looked like the back end of a bus." [I really didn't]

2) Upon seeing a photo of me when from my copious pints of lager phase a boyfriend remarked "Well, I wouldn't have asked you out when you looked like that." He thought I would appreciate his honest, the narc cunt.

Binkytub Fri 07-Dec-12 18:10:28

PackItInNow Should have deployed your tactics on a few of my relatives....

bee169 Fri 07-Dec-12 18:11:34

I was at my friends hen do in a club in London. A slimey weasel came up to me from across the other side of the club and said ' This girl looks like Shilpa Shetty....the face but not the body!'

I was nearly six months pregnant with my son sad

Bullincathkidston Fri 07-Dec-12 18:16:15

Earlier this year I was at a check out at the super market, wearing a new top after dropping a couple of stone. Was my first new top in the next size down. Feeling pretty damn bob on with me self.

The old dear infront of my piped up with. Ohh they do make some lovely clothes now a days, for people like you.

The spotty yoof behind the till interjected with, she's not a murderer love just a bit .... Cuddly. Full marks to him for not saying just a massive heifer.

5speckledreindeer Fri 07-Dec-12 18:20:50

My very first proper bf "of course I'd rather go out with someone who looked like a model, but you're lucky because I can see past that and love your personality".

Cue a string of loser bf's each one worse than the last cos that's all I thought I deserved. Until I finally met dh who makes me feel good about myself. So I married him! smile

ChocolateCoins Fri 07-Dec-12 18:21:39

I think mine will win.

In the postnatal ward after giving birth to DD. Had trouble latching her on so she was full on screaming for about an hour. When she eventually stopped crying, the boyfriend of the girl in the next bed, said 'they've eventually shut the little cunt up then.'

Couldn't believe someone would say that about a newborn baby.

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 07-Dec-12 18:53:49

That's awful chocolatecoins

HappyHippyChick Fri 07-Dec-12 18:54:59

When I was choosing which A levels to do and mentioned to my physics teacher I was considering physics, she told me I wasn't really A level material and I should consider leaving school and going to work in M&S! shock the caaah! I took (and passed) physics and went on to get a geology degree

ethelb Fri 07-Dec-12 18:59:28

My best friend and housemate slept with my boyfriend. And when I found out said "it's not like you owned him'

I thought that was pretty rude

FrenchRuby Fri 07-Dec-12 19:01:58

I've had several things.
An old lady on a bus 'Your son is going to be so ashamed of you looking like that when he's older' (I have lots of piercings)

Some random guy shouting out of his car 'Go on a fucking diet' (after I'd lost 3 stone already and was feeling quite good about myself until then, I cried on the bus.

In town while my son (with SN which does affect his moods) having a mahooosive strop some guy saying 'God, some people can't control their fucking kids'

While I was in hospital pg with dd and a nurse saying to me 'Have you put on a lot of weight this pregnancy or have you always been this fat.' charming.

ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay Fri 07-Dec-12 19:02:07

Male friend of mine once asked me very earnestly "if you were a girl, what would you think of x y z?"

lostconfusedwhatnext Fri 07-Dec-12 19:45:41

god the "fat" ones really stick in people's heads, don't they. big hugs too all subject to nasty, fattist remarks.

and all the horrible ones to people's children too.

TwitchyTail Fri 07-Dec-12 19:57:47

Rude lady who tried to push ahead of me at the tills, when told by the shop assistant that I was first: "Oh, you're so tiny, I didn't see you there".

I'm 5'3". Hardly invisible to the naked eye hmm I refrained from replying that at her size she could probably be seen from space.

VelvetSpoon Fri 07-Dec-12 19:58:29

I have a lot, all on a similar theme:

When I was 16 my friend's grandmother asked me why I was so fat. I was at most a bit teenage chubby, but not huge.

At university a friend talking about her previous eating problems said to me 'well of course even when I was a compulsive eater I was never as fat as you are' At the time I was 5' 6 and a size 14 (would be a 12 in today's sizes). She was 4' 11 and a size 8, but previously had been a size 16...

Another friend's mum said to me 'you'd be really pretty if you got your weight problem sorted out'

I've also been asked why was I so fat MANY times. Told I had a pretty face but needed to lose weight.

It would never occur to me to comment negatively on anyone's weight. I have no idea why people feel entitled to do so.

Mamateur Fri 07-Dec-12 20:06:42

An ex boyfriend and me once ordered champagne in a restaurant. The head of house guy brought it over and asked if we'd mind telling him what the occasion was. When we replied there wasn't one he said "oh, you don't look like the sort of people to drink champagne for no reason!"

It was frightfully rude of him!

gail734 Fri 07-Dec-12 20:12:48

I was on holiday with a friend and I hadn't packed very well - I'd run out of "daytime" things. So I asked my friend if I could borrow a pair of her shorts. She looked me up and down and said doubtfully, "Well, you can try, but I don't think you'll get them on." The thing is, we are exactly the same size - both 5'3" and size 12. She used to be a size 8 and I used to be a size 14, so she still regarded me as her "fat friend". She was very confused when I got the shorts on, no bother. In fact, they were quite roomy because she has a big arse

Binkytub Fri 07-Dec-12 20:19:44

Recently, at a party, a young guy came over and said how lovely my kids are. Glowing with pride, I smiled and refrained from saying anything for fear of being seen as, well, a bit smug, leaving him to finish with ' They don't look anything like you, at all, do they?'
At the same party, my husband was saying that our son is quite good at maths and a friend turned round and said 'Oh, he must get that from his father's side of the family?!' Obviously, being a barely literate or numerate troglodyte, I don't get asked out a lot....

carabos Fri 07-Dec-12 20:22:57

I have two:
Former colleague once asked me if I had ever considered having a makeover. I said no. She asked why not so I said because I wasn't unhappy with the way I looked. She said "Really?".

My 95 year old nana, who I don't see more than a couple of times a year, said "Oh dear, you aren't so pretty now, you look just like your sister". Got both of us with one strike grin.

TheWheelies Fri 07-Dec-12 20:30:25

"..and I don't actually like you very much."

CleansLate Fri 07-Dec-12 20:38:34

I had three miscarriages in a row and was in an absolute pit of depression. Had put on a lot of weight since being on ADs but really didn't care, was just trying not to completely crack up.

Was at my mum's house, can't remember why. My sister was there too and she was talking about the parties she'd been to, getting drunk at a club the night before, we were laughing and joking about stuff we'd done while pissed in the past.

I said "I haven't been out for ages", and my mum said "because you're so fat?"

I just started to cry. My sister drove me home.

And my dad told me that I wasn't ever going to be a good mother and I should put DS1 up for adoption.

I've had a lot of rude things said/done to me but the ones from family hurt the most for longest I think.

TheReturnOfBridezilla Fri 07-Dec-12 20:43:05

Gail grin

HuggleBuggleBear Fri 07-Dec-12 20:44:38

First proper boyfriend said "you do know your not that pretty don't you?"
I said "yes I know"

I got a few working in a bar when i was on the skinny side as a student.
"I shall start calling you Annie - after Anorexic." (and he did. Wanker)

A friend of a friend was quite a lot older than the rest of us and went through a phase of coming out with us (group of single girls in early 20's) following her divorce. I'd dress up for the night and she would say "Every time i see you, you look thinner and thinner. Don't you ever eat?" She was quite a nice woman apart from this but what really pissed me off was she was a dead ringer for Aveline from Bread and would usually have a leopardskin boob tube on and day glo make up.

GreenyEyes Fri 07-Dec-12 20:48:27

When I was 15, a boy I'd just started dating invited me to his house one afternoon. It was a dauntingly impressive house, he was very 'well to do' and at the time I was very obviously not iyswim.

Went through to the empty front room and were joined by his mum who looked me up and down and sniffed 'have a seat'. I looked around, saw the nearest chair and sat down.

'Actually I was just sitting there' said his mum. There was nothing, no half drunk cup, no pile of knitting, no half finished crossword to indicate that there was a recent occupant who may want to re-sit.

I had to stand up and shuffle to another one, while she left the room and went back to whatever it was she was really doing.

Such a small thing, but I recognised straightaway that it was a clear message that I wasn't welcome in her home. Cunt

PacItInNow you are my hero and I luffs you smile

DingDongErrorlyOnHigh Fri 07-Dec-12 20:53:53

Me [in a shoe shop picking up various pairs]: I'm not sure I like these boots.
'Friend': Is it because you can't get into them with your huge calves?

Me [expressing my wish to be a mother in future and/or work with kids]
'Friend': Well I'll be a high-flying businesswoman while you're still changing shitty nappies!
(I don't have kids yet, but she works in a shop and is nowhere near a businesswoman, but it was still bloody rude!)

'Friend': Your dad looks like a paedophile.

'Friend': If you tried a little harder with your appearance, you'd look okay.
(only OKAY!?!? lol)

Yes, all the same 'friend', and we are no longer friends!!

Oh and years ago i was working in a large department store. A woman came in who thought she was something really special because apparently she was married to some Sports personality. A forerunner to the Wag. Everyone was falling over backwards to get her what she wanted, shoes from lower floors etc whilst she huffed and puffed in a changing room.
They hated her but knew she spent a fortune.

She tried on a dress that did nothing for her and asked me what i thought. I made the number one retail no no and politely suggested another one that suited her better. She stood there, looked me up and down from down her nose and then said very snottily "Why am i asking you? What do you know..."
Ooh she was a sweetheart grin

E320 Fri 07-Dec-12 21:00:41

My mother: "I was furious when I found out I was expecting you, I never wanted to be anyone's mother"
I have 2 younger siblings.
My mother again: " I didn't make too much fuss about your wedding, because, after all, you were living together."
I was 41 when I got married & she was very keen to come to the wedding when she thought it was going to be somewhere exotic (my father was not and moved heaven and earth so that he could give me away - he felt it was his duty, despite having done it for my sister and for his cousin).

" My dad introducing me and my sister- me as the clever one and her as the pretty one (theres 5 years worth of therapy material right there) "

- Wishful makeupping

My mum used to do the same when introducing my sister and I, followed by "but DSis is just as clever too"... Great. There's the clever AND pretty one, then just the clever one.

Crumblingslowly Fri 07-Dec-12 21:08:53

I had recently been diagnosed with Crohn's disease & had just come out of hospital.When i told a neighbour she retorted "you should be grateful that your husband is still staying with you".....

HairyGrotter Fri 07-Dec-12 21:15:08

Oooft some of these deserve a bit of 'Grotter' magic comebacks. Cunts!

An ex said to me, about a photo of when I was lying on the slab having just had my baby delivered by c-section after 7 days of trying to have her naturally via induction, said "Ooo I think you look awful there, I couldn't fancy you if I met you then".

Following a swift fuck off, the door fully whacked him on the arse on the way out. Cunt.

AlmostAChristmasHipster Fri 07-Dec-12 21:20:14

Years ago, in a pub ladies loo, I got chatting to a couple of women. One said that she recognised me from a Tesco cafe, where I'd take my kids for lunch after swimming, but that she had thought I was a prostitute as I always wore make up! shock

Her friend thought I was going to chin her but I'd had a few so just laughed.

It made a nice change from the 'oh you'd look lovely if you lost a stone' snipes I've had all my life only now it's more like several stone sad

HairyGrotter Fri 07-Dec-12 21:22:41

Ah see, I always used to get the 'Oh, you have such a pretty face' line (which was clearly followed by a silent "it's a shame you're so fucking fat") then lost 4 stone, and now all I get is bitchy comments about being stuck up my own arse?!

Can't fucking win

AlmostAChristmasHipster Fri 07-Dec-12 21:26:31

True that, Grotter. I once lost five stone and met some online friends who'd been brilliantly supportive whilst I was dieting. One saw me at the bar, looked me up and down and completely blanked me! Never said a word to me all weekend!

She's nice to me now I've put the weight back on! confused

MrsTwinks Fri 07-Dec-12 21:28:06

my mum is the queen at this, like just plain nasty. This will likely out me but my all time favourite was proclaiming loudly I'd put on weight since she'd seen me, when infact I'd lost two stone.

Another perfect one was her birds and bees talk. It was basically men are evil and shouldn't be trusted. I trusted your dad to not get me pregnant and you happened so don't believe them. I was 12 I mean WTF!?!

HairyGrotter Fri 07-Dec-12 21:29:34

Some folk take offence at you being proud of your achievements...I tend to play up to their 'ideal' of me.

I'm proud of losing that weight, I like how I look, nowt wrong with it. Jealously etc. I've had friends lose loads of weight and I've been so happy for them, not one part of me thinks 'Bitch'. Nasty folk about.

Still need to lose 2 stone though wine chin chin

JoInScotland Fri 07-Dec-12 21:33:52

My ex-FIL on my wedding day, just before we set off for the church.... handed me some gift (I can't remember what now) and then followed it up with, "Well it ought to last at least until the divorce!" I was 23 and in a foreign country with none of my family with me.

FoxyRevenger Fri 07-Dec-12 21:35:47

At a wedding a random guest told me my style was obviously 'shitty chic.'

She's turned up to the wedding in fucking jeans.

JamieandtheMagiTorch Fri 07-Dec-12 21:39:25

The rudest people have been to me has been on here.

pingu2209 Fri 07-Dec-12 21:40:05

My old neighbour asked me

"will you be going back to work when your youngest starts school?"

I responded, "perhaps but it is difficult to do the job I did within the hours of childcare available."

She looked surprised and asked "what did you do in the past?"

I explained, "I worked in financial services marketing."

My neighbour (who doesn't like me) replied, "oh I just assumed you left school at 16".

Massive put down leaving me seething for the past 3 years about it! I don't bury my bones deeply.

BarceyDussell Fri 07-Dec-12 21:46:01

Oh, the shabby shit remark just made ne remember going out for a drink with one of my housemates at uni and calling at the house of one of his friends (who I didn't know) to invite her to the pub.

Walking to the pub she says to him, very loudly, "so who's this square bitch you've brought out with you then."

That was very rude but never bothered me in the slightest. Better a square bitch than a fucked up rude little madam grin

FieryGingerBeer Fri 07-Dec-12 21:51:40

Some great ones from first boyfriend.

Him: I just wanted to say, you don't need to worry about being small with me. I don't mind.
Me: (speechless) I'm not worried about my size.
Him: I mean it, I really don't mind. So don't worry.
Me: OK, well I've never worried before but I'm worried now. Thanks.

Me: ( trying to make a point about something he'd done to annoy me) Most girls wouldn't like it if xyz!
Him: Well, yes, but you're not a real girl, are you?

FieryGingerBeer Fri 07-Dec-12 21:55:56

Oh and this summer at a wedding a friend of DH's said 'Oh Fiery, you're looking good. Given that you only had DS2 a few months ago.'


RandallPinkFloyd Fri 07-Dec-12 21:58:05

Classics from my mother include
"you know, everyone always said your sister was the pretty one but you're getting there yourself now."
"You're going out with your friends when you could be seeing 'then boyfriend'. You want to be careful, he's too good for you"

(He's now my stbXh as he couldn't keep it in his pants, no wonder really is it hmm)

Best one on here - being told I probably had cunt aids. In her defence I think it was her idea of a joke but seeing as though I'd lost a friend the week before to HIV I didn't find it particularly funny.

whois Fri 07-Dec-12 21:58:58

Going out for a meal. I was maybe 16ish? I'd done my hair and put on some smart clothes (I'm a jeans and hoody kind of person) and my dad says "doesn't she look lovely".

To which my gran replied: "some see it through different eyes I suppose"

Well thank you very much gran!

SproutsMakeRudolphPongwiffy Fri 07-Dec-12 21:59:08

If you have another child you'll be getting rid of DD then. Said to me less than 2 weeks postnatal.

Still fucking angry.

NanFucker Fri 07-Dec-12 22:00:36

Leaving a pub after 'pulling' a man I'd liked for what felt like years, his brother came up to us and said 'For fuck's sake, if you just want a shag fine but at least chose someone decent not her '

still feel a bit sick about it now, 20 years later. No idea why he said it, I didn't know him and back then I was a nice, pretty young thing too. Not that if I hadn't been that would be any reason for him to say it anyway...

rather a lot of these are about weight and looks aren't they and addressed from men to women angry sad

whois Fri 07-Dec-12 22:03:43

Oh also this one.

I have a scar on my arm. A girl at school in 6th form saw it one day when I was wearing a short sleeves shirt. "ewwww what's that?" Luckily I'm not bothered by said scar and got in a quick reply all dead pan "A scar. What's that? Oh shit, it's your boney face." (she was v thin and didn't like people commenting on it, ugly face she did have too)

saccrofolium Fri 07-Dec-12 22:11:24

Paul Calf: "What your daughter lacks in looks, she makes up for with stamina."

MadameCreeper Fri 07-Dec-12 22:23:45

After a year of going out with a guy his Mum asked very loudly asked "what happened to that NICE girl you used to go out with?". She was a complete snob and looked down her nose at me, then she visited my parents house once and changed her tune shock

woopdiedoo Fri 07-Dec-12 22:24:02

'God, you're a right mess down here!', from the nurse who was holding a potty underneath me so I could have a wee a short while after giving birth to DD2. Oh, thanks. I have just pushed a 10lb baby out.

TheWalkingDead Fri 07-Dec-12 22:24:34

In hospital after DS2 was born and talking to the MW at a shift handover, she reviewed the notes on DS and saw he was quite small for term (6lb4oz) and much smaller than the other elcs that day. We chatted about DS1 and I mentioned he was a lot heavier at birth, 8lb 10oz to which she exclaimed "oh my god, do they have the same dad?!"

Thought that was pretty rude and even my DH was gobsmacked.

HuggleBuggleBear Fri 07-Dec-12 22:25:50

I've remembered another, at a funeral, distant male relative approached me saying "hi tubs" he also tapped my stomach.

I was 6 months pregnant. (He knew this). Size 10. Still in my pre-pregnancy clothes. He was very over weight.

Corygal Fri 07-Dec-12 22:35:26

"Never mind dear, you've got a nice personality."


VitoCorleone Fri 07-Dec-12 22:50:14

I was in a pub years ago with a friend, i ordered a coke and my friend ordered a diet coke. Some drunk arsehole came over and said "i think you two should swap drinks" points to me and says "you should be on the diet coke" i wouldnt care but we where both 5'2" and size 8.

An ex of mine once while drunk told me "you're alright, but you look better in dimmed lights"

And my neighbour, a couple of weeks after having my second son i was stood on the back door step, neighbour walks down her path and says "god, you still not had that baby?" i replied with "yeah, ive had him" she looked at my stomach and said "no you havent!" i was devastated.

Bumblequeen Sat 08-Dec-12 02:06:28

Some of these are awful sad

A friend frenemy who made snide comments about my appearance. I never asked what she thought about my outfits or hairstyle but she volunteered her opinion;

"hats do not suit you" I did not wear hats for years afterwards thinking I did not have the face for them.

"That toe ring looks cheap" when we were out in a bar. I did nothing to draw attention to it.

"I knew that guy could not have liked you over me"

I should have ditched her ten years before I did. She played on my low self esteem

Ex boyfriend
"My friend's girlfriend just bought a new car - you should think about upgrading your car" - he had not even passed his test let alone drive a car!!

"If you keep on at me I will start to look at other women"

"You look so dopey when you walk"

"I bet when you and your friend go out, a lot of men look at her" That hurt.

I was never ever good enough but hung in there for 4 years all the same. He hated the fact that I walked away and it took me time to realise it was not because he wanted to be with me but because I took control - prat! He actually told a friend of mine that he finished it lol!!!!

Boy at school
"No man will ever kiss you or go near you" That was over 20 years ago and I still remember the face/name of the boy who said it. On leaving college I became 'quite loose' as I grabbed onto the attention I got from boys. I was so grateful even if they were not my type - grateful that they looked at someone as unappealing as me.

I could write until tomorrow morning I really could.

Some people I have had to cut loose as I cannot be around them knowing they said awful things even though it was years ago and they have changed.

PerryCombover Sat 08-Dec-12 02:23:26

Nice boss at work

"I dunno about cellulite, even my baby daughter has it. Can't be toxins etc"

Nasty bitch I worked with

"Maybe it's genetic"

Lavenderhoney Sat 08-Dec-12 03:45:12

My mother:
on my failing my driving test first time " you are really useless, there's no point you bothering again"
"aren't you supposed to wear long t shirts to cover your bottom, when it's big like yours"
On visiting me after emcs- " you don't have a clue with that baby do you, poor little thing. I'll get a nurse to show you how to hold it"
On hearing pgnt with much wanted dd " is ths good news"
On dh" he won't stick around, what with him being a bit younger, and his thighs are slimmer than yours"
Exbf " he is very handsome and so successful , don't know what he sees in you" hahahha
Later, after I dumped exbf for affairs" you won't get anyone else though. You should beg him to stop and try cooking proper dinners for him"

Arriving at family wedding, all glammed up and climbed out of taxi. Sis and family standing waiting for me. Sis" your hair looks dreadful, really horrible ( hahahha) don't you even brush it?" even her dc where going " mum!!!!"

I could go on. Trouble is when people are horrible it always takes me a while to realise and they get away with it. I thnk " did x just say that to me? It must be a mistake, I thought they liked me" and I ignore it...

At uni, a "friend" invited me tobhang out with her and her flat mates. she took great pleasure in telling me that they had called me a 'fat, ugly munter' when she told them i was coming. I was so hurt by that.

My step father never had praise for anything i did growing up. So when i won 100quid in a debenhams art contest with the first painting i ever did as an adult, i took it to show him. He glanced at it, grunted 'they can't have had any other entries then' and tossed it aside. I was so crushed i never looked at that picture again, even though i had been so proud of it.

kitsmummy Sat 08-Dec-12 12:48:16

My friend at Uni introducing me to her friend. It wasn't a set-up or anything like that, no romantic interest, merely an introduction as we were both there at the same time

Friend: "this is my friend, Kitsmummy"
Idiot: "sorry, you're not my type" shock

pinkyredrose Sat 08-Dec-12 16:42:46

Me in a bar about 20 yrs ago.

"Can i have a coke please?"
Barman "diet coke?"
Me "no normal coke please.
Barman "ice?"
Me "yes please"
Barman to other barman "do we have any diet ice?"
Other barman "no no 'till next week"
Me sad

I still remember it after all these years.

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 08-Dec-12 17:11:48

God this thread just goes to show what utter twats there are in this world- thing is I bet they don't realise how cruel they are

"Well, as long as YOU like it, that's the main thing"

Said to me by a colleague after I had a radical haircut. Despite many other compliments - that comment has always stuck with me.

two weeks after dd's birth, recovering from an emcs,

dh's friend and his wife came to meet dd, the only thing the wife said to me was

"gosh you are so much fatter than last time I saw you!" shock <----this was my face, I couldn't get a word out,

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 08-Dec-12 17:43:05

At my wedding, in front of all the guests (v small wedding) my new SIL asked me "Do you get a British passport now?"

I am South African. I pointed out to her that I already had one.

KindleMum Sat 08-Dec-12 17:44:52

DH's boss said when DS was born - he's such a beautiful baby, it's hard to believe you and your wife had a baby like him!

Never claimed to be Miss World but, hey, I don't curdle milk!

PatButchersEarring Sat 08-Dec-12 17:49:46


I don't want to belittle your experience, and obviously I wasn't there- but when I read that, it just sounds to me like the barmen were having a laugh but not at your expense...it sounds just like a play on words that they were making, just to pass the time, and could have/would have said it to/in the vicinity of anyone. I could be wrong, but I would hate for someone to be feeling bad about a fly away remark that wasn't even aimed at them...

Mine? said by an ex 'If I didn't know you, I'd fancy you'

..and more recently (from a mother of one of DD's friend's)

'You could never cope with 2 kids. You should just get sterilised now'.

Charmed, I'm sure!

AViewfromtheFridge Sat 08-Dec-12 17:53:45

Girl on hen do: Are you wearing false eyelashes?
Me (pleased): Oh, no, actually!
Girl: Didn't think so.


Actually, I had a really toxic friend in my mid teens who made a point of telling me nasty thing other people had said about me. Clearly there must be a lot of them around.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant Sat 08-Dec-12 18:14:24

"You look, wow, amazing, and everyone says how lucky I am to have such a beautiful girlfriend, but you just don't have the personality to match." - exBf explaining why he was breaking up with me sad

GilmoursPillow Sat 08-Dec-12 18:16:46

Leaving a pub after 'pulling' a man I'd liked for what felt like years, his brother came up to us and said 'For fuck's sake, if you just want a shag fine but at least chose someone decent not her '

That reminds me. About 23 years ago I'd had a short fling with a guy. I found out later he'd denied he'd ever had anything to do with me and said, "I could do better than that on a bad night."

gussiegrips Sat 08-Dec-12 18:21:42

Mine was from my torn face SIL - we have daughters a year apart.

My daughter was a beautiful baby. Really, she should have been stuck on the wrapper of something to flog it.

Her wee cousin, meanwhile, is not one of life's wee sparkles. A trait she inherited from her silly mother who declared at my daughter's Blessing:

"You know, it's really interesting. Most beautiful babies grow up to be really plain children"

Oh, feck off.

GenericNameChange Sat 08-Dec-12 18:25:16

At my nan's funeral (my mum's mum), one of her 90 year old friends told my mum and everyone else who would listen that my mum had gotten really fat, hadn't she?


And he was totally compos mentis. Old bastard.

CalamityJ Sat 08-Dec-12 18:28:14

I want to caveat mine with the fact that I'm still in touch with the lady and she's really lovely except when she said...

"You know you could be a model. You've got the figure and it's amazing what they can do with make up these days."

wink I took it in the spirit it was intended but I do love rolling it out when people talk about backhanded compliments!

deleted203 Sat 08-Dec-12 18:35:26

Has to be my MIL - she's had many beauties over the years. I particularly remember

"You're not at ALL the sort of person I hoped my son would marry"

"Look at the SIZE of you! You've piled weight on!" (having not seen her for 3 months)

along with many other comments about "Look at the state of your windows"...."Look at the cobwebs in here"....."This room needs decorating"

Clearly I am a fat, idle cow with the wrong type of personality.

ToriaHosannaHeadacheChelsea Sat 08-Dec-12 18:35:36

To me and a friend as we stood looking at underwear in a shop.

"Well look at you pair of fat fucks. Haven't you ever heard of a diet?"

guccigirl666 Sat 08-Dec-12 18:38:52

Shortly after I gave birth and before all the privacy settings kicked in on Facebook a random man messaged me saying "19 years old and you have a baby you disgust me". I'll never forget how upset I was, shaking and crying. I genuinely thought everyone would judge me the same way. I'm very pleased to say that has not been the case.

Oh and I replied to man in question saying "26 years old being so rude and judgmental you disgust me" before blocking him, ugh.

goodmum123 Sat 08-Dec-12 18:57:59

I've had some corners too!
1, when I was 17 with terrible acne and about to start on to start roaccurane treatment at hospital an old bastard said to me whilst I was serving him in woolworths. My god your skin is bl

goodmum123 Sat 08-Dec-12 19:00:56

Bloody awful

2, called a fat fuck online by my Nasty bil because he was drunk and he fell out with my husband (I am overweight but don't need that)

3, when telling my fil that were having a girl, oh dear, better luck next time.

Nice eh ?

goodmum123 Sat 08-Dec-12 19:01:40

*corkers bloody iPhone

JaponicaTroggs Sat 08-Dec-12 19:27:05

I'm a sahm with a special needs child. Had some charming comments from my sister.
Whilst playing a film quiz board game one Christmas, which I won, "No wonder you got all the answers right, you have so much time to sit around all day watching films". DH was gobsmacked.
someone asking if I would be having any more children, "She can't manage the one she's got already"
On mentioning how hard things had been lately with ASD DS, "Well all kids are difficult aren't they?"
On me losing weight, "Well, no wonder, you're a lady of leisure who's got plenty of time to spend at the gym". angry

Pandemoniaa Sat 08-Dec-12 19:31:54

On having the Serious Talk with the very definitely not "d"ex-husband he interrupted the first sentence with:

"Thank fuck for that, I've disliked you and your vile children for years".

freerangeeggs Sat 08-Dec-12 19:41:06

Pinky, I agree, I don't think that was necessarily a comment on your weight

acsec Sat 08-Dec-12 19:54:46

I was with my SIL and DNeice (she was about 6months) bumped into a horrid colleague of mine who said "OOOh isn't DN gorgeous, she definitely takes after SIL's side of the family, I thought you said she looked like you acsec, when you were a baby?!" Clearly colleague thinks Im a minger!

NanFucker Sat 08-Dec-12 19:55:08

God this thread is reminding me of more:

Just had a mc, was quite young, baby not planned (contraception failure), but was still v upset and in shock.... MIL came in to meas I was crying and said:

"Well its for the best, I'm too young to be a Granny" shock

BoatysTinselSails Sat 08-Dec-12 20:04:24

Hmm, this is thread is compulsive reading! Why are there so many vile people out there! shock
My example: SIL I will omit the D 'your kids all have different dads don't they?' err...NO! They are all DHs!!! we were on benefits at the time her judgy pants were hoiked and she reads Daily Fail
I admit I retaliated with " You are on your 2nd husband aren't you? so that means by default you have had more men that me!" grin I knew her ex was still a sore point even though she was with my DB! [evil]

shutitweirdo Sat 08-Dec-12 20:15:10

I lost about 3 stone and my friend said I looked like i was about to die. When i asked who a bloke was as i recognised him my boss said 'probably knew him from when you worked the streets'. When i was getting measure for glasses the lady said don't ever try and but a hat.

TalkinPeace2 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:23:17

Funny one : Its nice to see you keep your own house as messy as you kept mine

Vicious one : I did not want you monopolising the conversation
(for why she did not tell me my uncle was in the country)

Sad one : it wont last
(4 years into what is now a 28 year relationship)

Nasty one: For once the front of your house does not look scruffy

Thanks Mum.

HazleNutt Sat 08-Dec-12 20:30:48

I would like to have dogs too, but I don't want my house to smell like yours -

said by a person whose house would scare even Kim and Aggie. I was so shocked I forgot to reply that I don't think a little wet dog smell would really be a problem.

MustStopOutingSelf Sat 08-Dec-12 20:31:09

I actually thought this was rather funny, even though it was rude. I went to have my coil put in a few months after DD2 was born -
Doctor - My goodness, look at your episiotomy scar, isn't it huge!
Me - Err, yes they did cut a bit bigger than last time...
Doctor - Cut a bit bigger?! Is your child Stewie Griffin?!

And a bit sad -
My Mum commenting on what a happy baby DD2 is
DM - "Well I suppose it helps you're not < whispers > unwell this time (I had PND with DD1). I suppose thats why DD1 is the way she is."
Me - "Err? The way she is? A happy, confident, articulate toddler?"
DM - < backpeddles > "Oh no! I just meant she's a bit of a wimp!"
Me - shock

(To be fair she is a wimp and a bit of a drama queen but I'm pretty sure my PND didn't cause that!)

chickensarmpit Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:44

A customer at work pulled a grey hair off my head. It was my first and only grey hair, i was gutted.

HeathRobinson Sat 08-Dec-12 20:44:00

Two young men talking about me, loudly enough so I overheard.

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed for the first half an hour'.

SirBoobAlot Sat 08-Dec-12 20:50:40

A bus driver complained about me taking so long to get off the bus because I was disabled a while back hmm

I complained. It helped.

blizy Sat 08-Dec-12 21:00:57

Fil, telling me it was my fault his holiday was ruined because my dd was stillborn whilst he was away.

At dd funeral, my aunt told me I had put on weight ( I had only given birth 10 days before).

AmIthatTinselly Sat 08-Dec-12 21:03:55

A couple of not particularly attractive young lads at a party when I was 15. They told me I was really ugly.

30 years later it still hurts like hell.

Also an XBF who was prattling on about his ex wife, who told me "I won't go near a good looking woman again" or words to that effect. He didn't understand why I was hurt at that

BinksToEnlightenment Sat 08-Dec-12 21:04:24

I got called in to a serious meeting once at work. I wasn't getting on with one of the women there.

They sat me down and asked me why I was a racist.

That had nothing to do with it! They wouldn't believe me. I was so upset, I burst into tears while defending myself.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant Sat 08-Dec-12 21:08:39

sad blizy

NanFucker Sat 08-Dec-12 21:24:35

Fucking hell Blizy [sad ]

Coralanne Sat 08-Dec-12 21:41:20

This is one I saidblush

I met my DD and her then boyfriend for lunch in my break. We had a lovely lunch at a nice restaurant . They both seemed a bit nervous during lunch.

When I was due back at work, DD said they had something to tell me.

I said , "Well quickly, You've just had an hour and now I'm due back at work"

They both went bright red in the face and said "We want to get engaged. We want to get married after I finish Uni."

My response!!!!!!!!blush blush blush

A quick kiss on the head and

"Don't be silly, you are far too young to be thinking about things like that"

and walked back into work.

gail734 Sat 08-Dec-12 21:45:07

I was in a nightclub with a friend. Not a glamorous place, a local disco. My friend was getting on very well with some guy, so I felt obliged to chat to his mate. I introduced myself and asked him his name. Casting around for a conversation topic I asked him, "So, Dave, what do you do?" He leant over and said into my ear, "I hate gold-diggers." shock I literally turned on my heel and walked off.

TalkinPeace2 Sat 08-Dec-12 21:45:22

but did it work out?

LessMissAbs Sat 08-Dec-12 21:55:16

I gave someone a lift in my car once to an event 170 miles away. They failed to thank me, ignored me at the event, and left me waiting aimlessly at the end to see if they wanted a lift back. Eventually I gave up and left without them.

A "friend" once accused me of stealing, when it was her ex-boyfriend that had stolen my contributions towards the bills in his name, and moved out without payting them or leaving a forwarding address.

A "larger" woman getting out of a car when I was cycling past "My God your arse is massive". I'm a size 8!

Inexplicably a man in a car when parking mine once and beating him to a parking space - "get a haircut"...

Coralanne Sat 08-Dec-12 21:57:37



Yes it did. During the afternoon I thought about how I had reacted and was horrified with myself.

When I arrived home from work, I apologized and gave them both a big hug.
She said she had been a bit upset at my reaction but she was fine.

The thing is she was 18 and in her first year of Uni.

She looked so young and fresh faced. Her cousin who was 32 at the time used to call her "The backpack girl" because she always had a cute backpack on wherever she went.

We had a huge engagement party, beautiful wedding and now 10 years on she still looks so young and innocent.

Last year due to work commitments they moved 2.5 hours away and I miss them terribly.

Merinda Sat 08-Dec-12 22:14:04

my mother, after yet another failed IVF cycle: "if you really really wanted a baby, it would have happened by now...". Thanks, mom, just what I need right now...

vladthedisorganised Sat 08-Dec-12 22:45:44

Similar to many on here.
Older lad, to very self-conscious 14-year old me: "You're tubby, but that's not bad for a short person. Just a bit fat around the stomach and the thighs, not disgustingly obese like most short-arses out there. Well, not yet, anyway."
I was 5'1" and 7 stone. Sadly I then became anorexic and self-conscious..

"Well, good luck with the childbirth. You might die, you know - I hope you don't, but people do, even in the UK.." Former boss, on the day I went on maternity leave. So rude it was actually funny.

The rudest was a friend of my ILs - DH was away, and at MIL's request we'd come to visit. DD was pottering around in a fairly benevolent way, friend turns up and says "I see your DIL came to dump the child on the grandparents again? Oh, she's here, is she? - no doubt scrounging something before she runs off." ??? Nice to meet you, too.

SahmOldSameOld Sun 09-Dec-12 00:02:38

On announcing I was getting married , middle sister said " good luck with that!"

DM said sai

TryBreatheFly Sun 09-Dec-12 00:05:11

My Fil when I was very low with PND and dd had colic - "she's in pain because your crying is upsetting your breastmilk"

Someone I knew (aquaintence not friend) used to pass comments about my DH and I (when we were living together not married) about my lack of morals and "What does my father say?)
I was 23 so I don't think my father minded.

She was very religious, her view, her opinion.

So how I had to bite my tongue when her son got his girlfriend pregnant. Unmarried.

What was it she called illegitimate children? Oh, yes bastards.

Not that I said this to her but ooooooh heck I was so angry at her 2-faced attitude.

EmmaNemms Sun 09-Dec-12 00:11:47

A woman who worked for me in the civil service was odd. I was 22 and she was 55. And resentful. I was eating an orange at my desk at lunchtime and she suddenly went a bit mad about how the smell of food was revolting and 'I've seen you bite your nails and it disgusts me to the pit of my stomach'. This was in 1987 and I still remember it clearly!

SahmOldSameOld Sun 09-Dec-12 00:15:47

DM has said to me "I don't have to come to your house and I don't have to see your DH's face". DM hasn't been to my home for 3 years although she expects me to dutifully visit her at least twice a week.

Eldest sister said to me "Don't invite our middle sister to your DD's 2nd birthday party as she will nag me to come and I don't want to as I don't want to talk to other mums, especially mums from [town where you live]."

I mean, WTF?

I feel really envy when I see famillies mucking in at parties, whilst I do mine at soft play where they do the catering, so I don't have to make all the sarnies on my own.

GhostShip Sun 09-Dec-12 00:24:34

When I was bullied in primary school people would spit in my food.

I've had a group of lads call me an illegal immigrant because of my colouring confused I'm pale, with green eyes and black hair. Wtf.

SkinnyMarinkADink Sun 09-Dec-12 00:31:47


Lavenderhoney Sun 09-Dec-12 02:17:01

Another- on announcing our engagement, my dsis who has been with her dp for yrs said " WE don't need to get married to prove we love each other"

SpecialAgentKat Sun 09-Dec-12 02:26:32

Whilst pregnant with DTS:

"Oh, so glad you finally overcame that Anorexia rubbish!"

DTS was considerably larger than DTD when they were 3months (had been at birth too) She still had that newborn look and he was tall and hadn't any hair. On the bus, breastfeeding them both, when an elderly man points to me with disgust to his fifteenish daughter and says:

"Is that what you want to be like in three years time? Feeding two bastards from different fathers?"
I was too exhausted and shocked to say anything, but I cried when I got home.

I was 26 and married btw!!

SpecialAgentKat Sun 09-Dec-12 02:27:51

His granddaughter I mean.

Oh and I've never been Anorexic!

FolkElf Sun 09-Dec-12 06:29:56

My brother and his then girlfriend/now wife were showing our grandma some photos.

There was one of my beautiful SIL holding my DD as a toddler and looking a bit windswept.

Grandma said to them "Ooh that's an awful photo of Folk. She looks horrible there"

So not only did she insult my SIL but was quite happy to make that sort of comment about me to other people.

Daffyboobface Sun 09-Dec-12 07:02:06

The full insane rudeness of this one really strikes me now I have kids.

When I was at junior school, probably about 6yo or so, an older woman grabbed me, shook me and called me a thief as I was coming out of the school gates. Turns out I had accidentally put her GDs coat on (which was identical to mine and hanging in the same cloakroom).

That was pretty rude. What kind of person even thinks like that about a 6yo??

flowerytaleofNewYork Sun 09-Dec-12 07:16:04

I have two

1. After a horrendous v long labour and a messed up epidural that left me numb from the chest down and with no strength at all in my arms, midwife decided it was vital to move me from the delivery suite to the ward in a wheelchair. Two of them trying to do that dropped me on the floor sad.

Midwife's comment was "You're going to have to be a lot stronger than that if you're going to be a good mother you know"


2. Was on here. I was giving advice to a nanny employer on the childminders nannies etc board and got sworn at because someone didn't like the advice. May not sound like a big deal but I've never been sworn at before or since, in RL or elsewhere. Needless to say I left the thread pretty sharpish and although I still give free employment advice on here, I don't do it in the childminders nannies etc topic.

BelleJolie Sun 09-Dec-12 09:01:09

When I was 18 and in a bar, a man came up to me and said, "I know a joke that is so funny, you'll laugh your tits off." He then looked at my chest and said, "Oh, looks like you've already heard it".

daisydoodoo Sun 09-Dec-12 09:06:10

One of the mums at school who never talks to me 'so where did you get your gastric band done then?' Never said a word to me before or after and I hadn't had a gastric band just lost the 9 stone by diet and exercise!

SeasonallySnowyPeasant Sun 09-Dec-12 09:20:16

flowery a poster I really liked told me to get a life once. It surprised me how hurt I felt by a complete stranger on an Internet board. thanks for the advice you give.

An aunt in law asked DH and I how long we'd been married. When we said 7 years, she came out with 'oh, so have you experienced the 7 year itch yet?'. Nice....

My best mate a school (male) ' I like everything about you except your nose' (I have had a minor nose complex ever since!)

My sister about my DH 'Your DH is a gay 'top dog', and men like that always have a wife as a cover'. (He's not gay, she's just a b*tch)

sleepneeded Sun 09-Dec-12 09:29:37

Blizy -sad

The funeral of my father fell right during my university exams - mother in bits huge family to deal with, and I was really sleep deprived due to studying part time working spending time in hospital etc etc etc.

Cause of death was cancer - very rapid within 6 months - due to a brain tumour.

I wanted to see if I could get any help with exam exemption had to speak to some administrator at uni who said all very matter of fact and quite rudely:

"You see if this was all of a sudden such as a car accident that had caused the death of your father then we could do something as we could say you were shocked - but as you were to expect it and had time to prepare for his death - so then no we can't grant you any exemption" - I failed one exam - and had to resit it the next year.

Then after leaving the administration building - I saw a fellow uni student who said " Wow I thought your Dad only had headaches - and was just claiming some long term sick leave - why didn't you tell me he was dying?"

My father would never feign illness and was so hardworking and did loads of extra things to help people - so I was really shocked that someone thought he was somehow trying to pull a fast one.

It was something out of like curb your enthusiasm.

dawntigga Sun 09-Dec-12 09:38:00

I was VERY young and got engaged to somebody who I didn't treat very well in the end - he doesn't remember that bit but I do - his mother told me in no uncertain terms that if I got pregnant there would be no wedding, WTAF? I had no intention of every actually getting pregnant EVER. She never really did like me.
I'm friends with him on FB now and he has a lovely family, he's still funny and I'm glad we made contact and are friends.


BillyBollyBrandy Sun 09-Dec-12 09:41:20

An ex colleague when I was 16

"You know, they have proper fat girls in porno's. Even fatter than you"
He was twice the size of me. One of the other lads did ask if he wondered why he had never had a girlfriend.

"Fucking hell, I wouldn't fancy buying you breakfast" said by lad, ALL his friends laughed at me. I was just walking down the road minding my own business.

"You're too fat to wear nice underwear" ex bf

All said to me at 5ft9 and a size 16. Not that they would have been acceptable if I was a size 26 of course.

My dad "You'll do well at your job, but not through any great intellect" grin He thought he was paying me a compliment!! Only one in the family with a degree but never mind

flowerytaleofNewYork Sun 09-Dec-12 09:48:12

Thanks seasonallysnowy smile

Poster did apologise later down the line to be fair, but the shock factor of thinking "did someone actually really just swear at me?" was pretty strong.

Mostly if people ask for advice and don't like the answer they just don't bother coming back to acknowledge it. Which is also rude in an eye-rolling kind of way, and fortunately doesn't happen that often!

Lutrine Sun 09-Dec-12 10:05:00

Years ago, I'd drastically changed my hair and a friend of my now DH's bumped into us down the pub. He didn't recognize me and assumed my DH was out with another woman, so he sidled over and muttered "so, I've not seen you tonight if SHE asks, yeah? "

clam Sun 09-Dec-12 10:13:02

DH, to a colleague at work, "Clam used to be quite glamorous."
My mother, after asking what size I was nowadays and being told the answer: " Really? Good God!"

MsVestibule Sun 09-Dec-12 11:31:23

My Dad's come out with some corkers in his time, and yet he thinks my Mum's the tactless one hmm.

"You look as though you've lost a bit if weight, DD. That's good, you were getting a bit of a tummy."

A few days after my wedding, (my sister did my makeup) he said "You looked very nice on your wedding day...your sister's a very good makeup artist, isn't she?"

My younger sister left her husband after suffering from physical abuse for a year. He said to me "Your sister is so placid, I just can't understand why he did it. I could understand it more if it was you or your older sister" shock.

This one was supposed to be a joke, but still... I was 17 weeks pregnant with DC1 but barely showing. "Oh, you can't even see a bump! I hope the poor little thing's not dead.". I mean, in whose world is it acceptable to suggest something like that, even in joke?

LadyFlumpalot Sun 09-Dec-12 12:11:53

In a nightclub toilet when I was 19, very shy and un confident. I was washing my hands, my "friend" still in the cubicle.

2 women approached me to tell me they were scouting for Promo girls and was I interested?

My "friend" popped out of the toilet and sniggered. She then proceeded to tell them that I was too skinny and ugly to be a promo girl.

9 years down the line - I'm a promo girl and model and she's, well, not.

trixymalixy Sun 09-Dec-12 14:56:10

I Was at a wedding show with my MIL and my Mum. I pointed out a dress I liked. mIL said "oh no! You need a flat stomach to wear that kind of dress" My Mum was shock

I lent my SIL to be the strapless top I had on the day before her wedding so she didn't get strap lines in the sun. MIL offered to lend me a vest top, "I'll need to look out my biggest one" she said.

She bought me, my SIL and DH's cousins cardigans one Xmas, gave SIL a smaller one than she gave me (we're pretty much the same size, i'm maybe slightly thinner) and basically told me I got the biggest one as I was the fattest.

DH had a word after the last comment.

trixymalixy Sun 09-Dec-12 14:57:30

I'm not that fat btw. I'm a 12-14, but I'm 5'9". I couldn't help but smirk when MIL put on loads of weight after retiring from her quite active job.

trixymalixy Sun 09-Dec-12 14:58:26

But saying that, I love her really. She's lovely most of the time, but just a bit outspoken!

FreudiansSlipper Sun 09-Dec-12 15:07:16

Most hurtful - you are not the sort of person I would choose the have a baby with. Nicely put from my ex I was about 6 months pregnant at the time with his child

Funniest - if you were taller and a bit prettier you could be a model followed by you are quite pretty though

FreudiansSlipper Sun 09-Dec-12 15:13:04

another one it's a shame you are such a wall flower you are very pretty but no be would notice you

this was from a friend of a friend who thought every one looked at her performances in public with admiration. She went to stage school and often broke out in to song and dance routines on the tube/train/bus

fishnhips Sun 09-Dec-12 16:06:45

To me by a drunk lady about my DH in a pub after I had introduced them."Can you understand him?" (He has dark skin and an Irish accent!)

FolkElf Sun 09-Dec-12 16:53:14

"You are the sort of girl men go out with when they know they don't stand a chance with someone like me"

said by my then best friend.

Sad thing is, it turned out to be completely true!

VodkaJelly Sun 09-Dec-12 17:02:06

Not said to me but to my very dear friend.

My friend was in hospitial with terminal cancer, they had just found her 3rd tumour (she died not long after this). A nurse on her ward was talking to her and when she found out my friend had a 3rd tumour she said

"Oh, you must have done something very bad in a past life".

My friend so was upset, when I found out I would have punched the fucking thoughtless cow in the mouth, I was furious.

My friend was the sweetest and kindest person I have ever known.

conantg Sun 09-Dec-12 17:11:02

Some terrible, terrible stories here. I have had my fair share too, but Vodkajelly that's just so sad.Reading this thread has made me think we victims should really take revenge on these people. In future I certainly intend to reply back as fast as I can even though it's not in my nature, and in the case of the story above I would certainly think that nurse should have been reported.

FolkElf Sun 09-Dec-12 17:22:13

vodka that's just reminded me, a friend of mine was a teenager when she was told by a 'street preacher' that her mother's death through cancer was God's way of punishing her for something!

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 09-Dec-12 17:25:17

vodkajelly that made my stomach flip your poor friend sad

FolkElf Sun 09-Dec-12 17:26:25

Oh and I think I've posted this before.

DD was born 5 weeks early and weighed three and a half pounds.

The very first time my mother came to visit her in hospital she said to her brand new tiny granddaughter hooked up to wires and tubes in an incubator in SCBU...

"you're a tiny little thing aren't you? My friend had a baby as early and as tiny as you a few weeks ago. She died."

ruledbyheart Sun 09-Dec-12 17:40:33

I have a thyroid problem so can't put weight on and always get comments but this one took the mick.

I went to New look one day for some jeans but they had nothing in my size (6) so asked the girl behind the counter if it was possible to order some.
Girl just looked me up and down so I walked off, as I was leaving I heard her say to her co worker "well maybe she should eat something and put some weight on".

I'm ashamed to say I lost my temper and told her exactly what I thought of her customer service and where she can stick her poxy jeans.

autumnlights12 Sun 09-Dec-12 17:50:32

I've got a gift for saying the wrong and causing unintentional offence. A colleague had her baby a few weeks early and I bumped into her a few weeks after baby was born. The most beatiful baby, so tiny. And I said :'aww, small, but perfectly formed.' I thought I was saying something nice, but she gave me the filthiest stare. Was I rude?

FolkElf Sun 09-Dec-12 17:54:16

That sounds fine to me autumn. People always commented on how small DD was. I didn't mind that. I don't think that was rude.

See my previous post for how to be really offensive to a mum of a small early baby wink

EssexGurl Sun 09-Dec-12 18:08:38

Woman around the corner to me about school choices for her PFB " I wouldn't send my DS to your DS's school as the mothers are so awful".

She said the same to another friend, so don't think it was a joke ... although maybe it is just us she doesn't like.

MyLittleAprilSunshine Sun 09-Dec-12 18:20:24

My sister and my ex have been the cruelest.

I have heard I wish you were dead from both of them, but at least my sister was 13 at the time, not that it makes it okay or anything. I was 5 so a bit heartbreaking.

I have been told by my ex many times he wished I was dead and messaged me randomly asking me why I'm not dead yet. I could return the favour, but I'm not as bad as him and we all know what kind of man my ex is, if anyone has met him for any more than 5 minutes that is.

I've also had 'you'd deserve to get raped' and 'It would be okay if you got cheated on, you deserve it'. I know some lovely, charming people.

mrsmillsfanclub Sun 09-Dec-12 18:26:33

Bf at 17- you are not intellectual enough for me(he went on to working in a shop after quitting college,I got a degree)

ugly older male colleague-women can be judged on how early it is in the evening before men find them attractive,so someone awful would be around the time when last orders are called. I'd say you're about 11pm.

Sil-come on now, you need to get grip of your weight.you are huge now. (I was a size 12)

Lavenderhoney Sun 09-Dec-12 18:36:32

A senior manager once told " you are exactly like Mary from " something about Mary" hahaha then he said " sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

I still have no idea what he meant. I don't think he was being nice. At least I don't think he was. If you have any idea please put me out of my miserysmile

Lavenderhoney Sun 09-Dec-12 18:37:55

A senior manager once told " you are exactly like Mary from " something about Mary, only not so intelligent" then he said " sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

I still have no idea what he meant. I thought she was nice. I don't think he was being nice. At least I don't think he was. If you have any idea please put me out of my miserysmile

goralka Sun 09-Dec-12 18:44:24

I know this sounds like a compliment but one christmas my bro looked me and up and down and said....
'oh! you are looking really slim and smart!'

Hobbitation Sun 09-Dec-12 18:49:34

Rude twats in nightclubs probably take the biscuit. When I was about 17:

"Scuse me luv, have you got a boyfriend?"


"Well, hang on to him, won't you?"

At university:

"Drinking pints puts men off."

"Oh, right, I'll try and remember that" downed rest of pint and ordered another

Rhiana1979 Sun 09-Dec-12 18:51:48

On my wedding day. After she'd lost some weight for the day.

"people are going to look at me and say wow! and then say oh and there's Rhiana"

On my daughters first birthday. After I'd spent days making and decorating a cake by myself from scratch.

I've made a jelly but I thought it best not to bring it out at the party because I'll only outshine you.

Both my mother

NanFucker Sun 09-Dec-12 19:57:40

Vodka - that reminds me of two about my exmil, who sadly died of breast cancer. Her sister was v religious and used to send her letters (while she was dying) about 'if you believed in God he would save you' hmm

then one of our friends started an Alpha course and told my then DH that 'your mother would have survived if only she'd taken Jesus into her life' I had to stop DH from decking him angry

SkinnyMarinkADink Sun 09-Dec-12 21:18:47

Dh's best friend has been seeing a girl for just over a year we will call her sarah, we don't see them often but she makes a massive point of showing she hates kids.

We went to best friends sisters wedding a couple months back and our very cuddly dd was giving out lovely cuddles, she went to 'sarah' who reluctantly and very awkwardly lifted dd onto her knee then turned to another guest and said 'i really don't want to cuddle it'

I was seething, how dare she call my child an it??.

Tarenath Sun 09-Dec-12 21:28:16

I used to work a residential carer and mentioned to one of my clients I was getting married. Her reply? "I hope you're not wearing white. Girls like you shouldn't wear a white dress"

GhostShip Sun 09-Dec-12 22:25:22

Oh that reminds me, when I was a carer on residential one of the women attacked me, spat on my and called me a whore because she thought I was having sex with her husband. He'd been dead for a good few years sad

JazzyTheSnowman Sun 09-Dec-12 23:18:58

Went out with my DP and a few of our mutual friends - ended up bumping into another group that knew them because they all went to the same college.

Twat one: Who's this?
DP: That's JazzyTheSnowman - my fiancée
Twat one: Never saw you as a chubbychaser!

Twat two: So how old is your son?
Me: He's 17 months.
Twat two: Really? haven't you even tried losing the baby weight then?

Twat one (again): Well, at least she's got fantastic tits. reaches for a grope and instead gets a swift punch from DP who has had enough of their shit

I love my DP. Hated these wankers, but at least he stood up for me!

TapirAroundTheChristmasTree Mon 10-Dec-12 00:08:44

Elderly church-going couple (said to my face) when they found out that my first dd was stillborn.

"That's what you get for living a life of sin - god loves to punish people like you".

goralka Mon 10-Dec-12 00:12:22

shock @tapir

CuriousMama Mon 10-Dec-12 00:20:11

NanFucker I used to be a Christian and did the Alpha course. You don't get told stuff like that on it. He's just a cunt.

I've had loads said to me. Had a bitch friend when young. I was always slim and am pretty tall at 5' 8. Did promo and modelling but friend who was 5ft at the most would find fault in me, usually just as we were going out for the night. If it wasn't my roots were showing (dyed blonde in those days) it was I had a ladder in my stockings or anything similar. I got sick of her one night and the other girls we went out with dumped her too. I thought they liked her but they said nope.

I often get asked if I'm pg. I do have a bit of a tummy now though and don't take offence tbh. I just say no it's just fat grin

PieEyedAndLairySanta Mon 10-Dec-12 00:41:34

All from my one sister:

On hearing that I was finally pregnant after years of fertility problems and due just after my 40th birthday "Oh you'll definitely be fat and 40 the"

One week after birth of DS she took a photo of us, then deleted it saying "You wouldn't like that one, you looked like a hippo"

On meeting DD for the first time at 5 days old "At least I'm not the only one who doesn't produce pretty babies"

MIL: I feel sorry for your DS having you two as parents.

JoInScotland Mon 10-Dec-12 00:50:29

Ways to not find out your boyfriend is tired of you, Number One:

I was standing in my boyfriend's parents' kitchen holding my cat, while we were staying over at Christmas one year. In front of both of his parents, he declared, "You just need a baby, and I am not going to give you one!"

Dear reader, I did not marry him.

CupcakesAndMulledWine Mon 10-Dec-12 01:32:49

I've had a lot of comments made about my face over the years. I've been told I look like a doll and that I don't look real (admittedly the doll thing doesn't sound so bad). I've been told I look like several cartoon characters including princess Fiona (in ogre form!). I've also been told I've got animal features. The worst is though I work with children & have had many comments along the lines of "what's wrong with your face" and "you've got a funny face"

My DH, family & friends all insist I'm normal looking as far as they are concerned but I have terrible self esteem thanks to all these comments from strangers.

FolkElf Mon 10-Dec-12 08:36:51

First heard at 9 then continuously in various forms: "There's something wrong with you. We should take you to a child psychologist but then it would go on your permanent record and you'll never get into university and no one will want you and we'll never get rid of you".

First heard at 10 when I was given a pair of ski pants for my birthday and then continuously in various forms: "You can't wear those. Your bum's too big. I'll take them back" Until I had my children I had a figure almost identical to the Rachel girl who does Countdown and I can see now that she is a very slim girl and has a fine and shapely ass.

From being around 15:
"Your boobs are too small/not as nice as mine"
"You're too fat/you're not as slim as me/you're an unattractive shape"
"You're not very attractive/your brother is more attractive than you/you're not as attractive as me" exh used to say that the person I most resemble facially is Erin Karpluk.
"No one will ever want you"
"I don't know why you and your DH are having a baby. He'll leave you. They always do"

All my mother. She was definitely right on the last one though. So she was probably right on the others too. Until my mid/late twenties I never weighed more than 8st3 and during my teens when the comments started my measurements were 34-24-35 and were until I had DS. Still not good enough though.

ExH yesterday: "You're beautiful and amazing. Everything about you is wonderful. Any man would be lucky to have you so don't write yourself off" Any man except for you, the one who married me, eh? Fuck off. Probably doesn't count as rude but definitely one of the biggest piles of twatish shit I've ever heard.

I don't even feel bad about myself anymore. I feel like I'd have to have some small amount of self esteem left for it too bother me and I don't. None. I'm clearly such a fucking failure on every level that what's the point in even trying to sort one thing out? I'm never going to correct all of my many, many failings so why bother.

In fact, I can't think of one nice thing about me. I can't even get out the world's smallest violin because I don't play the fucking violin so it'll have to be the world's smallest clarinet.

Oh hold on, my exh said he can remember being at someone's house when we were 17 and my hair smelt nice. And I haven't got cankles. it's a lot to expect anyone to love me for/base my entire existence on though isn't it?

goodmum123 Mon 10-Dec-12 09:24:28

So sorry folk about the emotional abuse you have suffered. I couldn't have got through that - and life's pretty tough at the best of times. I think you are incredibly strong x

FolkElf Mon 10-Dec-12 09:33:26

Thanks. Not strong though. Completely broken. Probably have been for years. Just do a good job of hiding it day to day.

An old assistant manager told me I needed a boob job as my boobs are small. I put in a complaint about him.

A place I worked night shifts was full of some decidedly weird characters. One of my colleagues informed me one night he could slit my throat with the box cutter if he wanted shock . Dunno if that's rude or just very, very creepy.

catgirl1976geesealaying Mon 10-Dec-12 13:41:07

My boss when I was a size 12

"You know you're a dress size away from a P45 don't you?"

FolkElf Mon 10-Dec-12 14:12:56

shock @ catgirl What was the job?! (not that it matters really!)

slug Mon 10-Dec-12 15:53:01

At my Master's graduation when it was announced I had won several academic prizes:

"Well it's politically correct to give it to the women"

Because obviously women don't understand computers and couldn't possibly out score the boys on every single assessment. The man in question had, of course, availed himself frequently of my good nature when struggling with assignments.

MamaLazarou Mon 10-Dec-12 16:02:34

My mum said to me: 'When you were born, you were fat, bald and ugly... but now you've got hair!'


beela Mon 10-Dec-12 16:09:35

v elderly friend of the family: 'you look just like your mother did at your age. Except she was never so fat'.

I was (still am) a size 12-14. My mum used to be a 10-12, so I suppose it was true. However, the lady in question was easily a 16, as were all her daughters.

jen127 Mon 10-Dec-12 16:14:28

"when are you due ?" My local DHL man doing a delivery to work , asked this in front of one of my colleagues who knew I was definitely not pregnant!
He asked twice when I ignored him the first time arghhh!

ODearMe Mon 10-Dec-12 16:21:49

I remember when I did work experience as a teaching assistant at the local primary school. One little boy, aged 5, took a shine to me and would present models, paintings etc. one day he asked me to marry him. I replied that i was a little too old for him, and maybe when he grew up. His response was, 'but miss jones, when I grow up, you will be dead'.
Made me laugh anyway.

NanFucker Mon 10-Dec-12 17:24:55

Folk - this sounds trite but is probably true, its jealousy poppet. Especially with your mother, she probably couldn't cope with you blossoming into a beautiful young lady and had to try to make herself feel better sad xx

earthpixie Mon 10-Dec-12 17:37:24

Very recently I said to DS (5) 'Oh look, this lady looks like me'. She did, it was in a magazine and no, she wasn't a model.
DS 'Yes but she's MUCH prettier'.

In my first week at uni a boy said to me 'Do you shop at Evans?' I was a slim size 12 at the time (I'm 5'8''). I met him again years later and reminded him: he had the grace to look embarassed.

Greensleeves Mon 10-Dec-12 17:55:15

FolkElfsad there doesn't have to be anything wrong with you to get treated like that. You just had the misfortune to have a sociopathic bitch for a mother who destroyed your self-esteem.

My best one from my mother, when I was 15:

"I do worry about you and men. You're so gutless, you'll get walked all over by some bastard"

A couple of titbits from my sister:

"Oh dear, did you not get your own way? Better go and slit your wrists then. Oh no but you've already tried that one haven't you?" in front of people, shortly after I got sent home from school for cutting

"Good heavens GS what have you done to your hair? It looks like an old dog's blanket. And you've ballooned"

On meeting my then fiance for the first time: "Wow GS wherever did you find him? He's just as biddable as [our stepfather] but not nearly so unsightly"

"You and I know I am more intelligent than you. One day people will start to find you out"

Greensleeves Mon 10-Dec-12 17:58:37

I can't stop reading this thread, some of these are unbelievable!

sad and angry for all the inhuman comments about miscarriage and stillbirth. What the fuck is wrong with people?

digerd Mon 10-Dec-12 18:00:48

You must get your Thyroid problem cured. I was overactive and it was not only my weight I kept losing, but my heart was dangerously overburdened with everything working at a too rapid pace,

catgirl1976geesealaying Mon 10-Dec-12 18:09:22

Folkrlf it's my current job........and not one where how I look matters!

meddie Mon 10-Dec-12 18:24:41

Ex MIL after I had split with her son, came out with some trite comment on the phone like "we all love you and are here for you". I responded "If that's the case then why don't you ever get in your car and come visit your grandchildren for once. I have lived here 4 years and you have never bothered" ( I Used to take them every week to hers).
Her response was."well there's no where to sit and you're kids look like tramps"!!
both untrue.
Fortunately the up shot was I could cut her out of my life without any guilt feelings and despite reassuring my ex that she could have continued access to her GC, but she would have to make the effort to visit. I never saw her again for another 10 years.....

Flossiechops Mon 10-Dec-12 18:47:14

Sister and brother in law live in the states. Dbil is a high flyer. Their first trip back to the uk they came to visit us in our new home, on a tour around the house Dsil exclaimed about ds bedroom"we have a wardrobe bigger than this room" snooty bitch has looked down her nose at us for years!

Too many to list, but my 2 favourites :

The night I met my dh, one of his friends said she'd alright apart from her belly - I was a size 10!

And more recently, on hearing that we'd got a new car dh's step grandad asked if dh had bought a bigger car to fit his fat wife in?!

CuriousMama Mon 10-Dec-12 18:56:09

Flossiechops you should've said you'd need that just for your ego!

cuillereasoupe Mon 10-Dec-12 19:00:25

The day after I proofread an article overnight for a colleague as a favour: "Your proofreading is crap and you're a shit head of department". It isn't and I wasn't.

brightspark2 Mon 10-Dec-12 19:00:54

"Mummy, when you were little, were you an Angle or a Saxon?"

JessieMcJessie Mon 10-Dec-12 19:13:45

Aged about 13 to my Guide Leader- "I look horrible in that photo"

Guide Leader : "well, the camera never lies"

I still avoid having my picture taken.

miamibeach Mon 10-Dec-12 19:19:51

No where near as bad as other peoples,

But on my sisters hen do, got talking to a group of men, one asked me who the hen was I said she's my older sister.

He looked at me like hmm really? I'd have said it was the other way round.

I was 18 at the time and she was 25.

GlitterySparklyBaublesOfDoom Mon 10-Dec-12 19:41:28

Some of these are awful!

This one is a bit more light hearted but it hurt at the time. They probably had a point though...

Aged about 17 in the early 80s, I was a trainee goth. Hair crimped and backcombed standing on end, dressed in black, fishnet tights, fishnet gloves etc and Siouxie style black eye make up and purple lipstick. I got off the bus to go and meet my mates in the pub and passed two blokes, one of whom said "Excuse me love, but the circus went that way" blush

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 10-Dec-12 19:44:05

My mother when asked why she had no interest in anything about the uni I was attending......

Well, it would have to be a Micky mouse one to accept you.

It was not.

The very first employee I ever had ( on there first day)on being asked to get a very high end car ready for a test drive....

Can you afford to buy it?, because you can't test drive it unless you can

My reply " I should hope so seen as I already own it, could you get me a coffee"

Stbexh on being asked how I was everytime he was asked...

Better than nothing.

Gooeyhead Mon 10-Dec-12 19:53:37

I've got one, I've got one... A very charming lady utter cow said to my Ex (this was about 10 years ago) "your scraping the bottom of the barrel going out with her aren't you"

I wouldn't mind but she only knew who i was coz she drank in the pub where I worked at the time. I didn't even know she disliked me until this comment!!!

theluckiest Mon 10-Dec-12 21:40:40

Jesus, wtf are some people thinking? Clearly the brain and mouth are not connected....

When DS was about 5 weeks old I was in a supermarket queue. Woman behind till cooed and aahed over my tiny boy. Then the woman in front of me packing her shopping (smart, 50-ish)peered into the pram and said, "How old is he then?"
"5 weeks!" says I proudly.
"Ah yes" says strange smart lady. "Same age as someone on our road. That baby died. Cot death y'know."

She said it with such glee & relish like it was the juiciest tidbit of gossip. Me and checkout lady just stared. I then replied and stammered that that was absolutely awful but as a new mother, I really didn't want to hear more and thought she was being inappropriate.

Silly cow then carried wittering on regardless about this other poor mother who had lost her baby in a terribly tragic way. Wtf was smart woman thinking????!!! Why would you say that to a new mum of all people? And the enjoyment she seemed to have telling me this dreadful story was sickening. She then marched off as if we had been talking about the weather.

Roseformeplease Mon 10-Dec-12 21:45:09

Posted on Friends Reunited about my job (teacher) business and children. A girl from my year at school responded with surprise, saying she had expected me to make something of my life.

Roseformeplease Mon 10-Dec-12 21:46:18

Oh and she had reached the dizzying heights of a job in an electronics shop - not Prime Minister or a Brain Surgeon.

maximusminimus Mon 10-Dec-12 22:08:40

When I told someone I was pregnant again after gynae surgery and chemo treatment the year before: "Wow. I didn't expect you to be able to get pregnant, considering the state your body must be in".

Cheers. How to make someone feel like a mutilated freak, part 1.

Viewofthehills Mon 10-Dec-12 22:15:05

On meeting my pfb- nice baby, shame about the nose. My Dad. Not forgiven yet.

SahmOldSameOld Mon 10-Dec-12 22:21:27

Whenever anyone compliments my DD on her good looks, my Dsis always pipes up with "Yes, she's beautiful...just like her Aunty!"

I acknowledge Dsis is more attractive than me so I don't need reminders.

SahmOldSameOld Mon 10-Dec-12 22:23:43

My mum was comparing her DDs and said of my sister, "she's the most beautiful, but the least fortunate."

I think there is a compliment for me in there somewhere.

scripsi Mon 10-Dec-12 22:33:39

Oh I have one too, but it's more a backhanded compliment. On the way out on a rare dinner with DH, bent down to say goodnight to DS who said "Your hair looks nice, I like the bottom yellow and the top black" should point out that it had been a while since I'd had my roots done.

mammyof5 Mon 10-Dec-12 23:03:42

my worst one was when i was expecting my first dd. i was working in a take away. it was packed a drunk woman pushed her way to the front and wanted me to give her an order i had in my hand. i didn't because i knew who's it was and that she hadn't ordered anything.
she said to me are you pg
i said yes
she looked me straight in the eye and said i hope your baby dies

and that was because i wouldn't give her someone else s food i was completely shocked to say the least

littlemissmagic Mon 10-Dec-12 23:29:59

These are all shocking

I had an appointment with a dermatologist to get a dodgy mole checked out.

I sat down and explained to her why I'd been referred. She then said something along the lines of "oh I thought you were here about those spots on your face"

I thought my skin wasn't looking too bad that day.

louistheseventeenth Mon 10-Dec-12 23:46:47

My mother, when telling her I was being induced after my first PG ended in MC at 5 months:

"Well at least you will be all stretched out for a proper baby after this"

My mother, after my third consecutive MC this year:

"When I think of you I just get so upset I pretend in my head you don't exist"

I am not looking forward to going home for Christmas.......

vladthedisorganised Mon 10-Dec-12 23:56:12

Glittery, if it's any consolation I was part of a very small tribe of Goths in my very non-rock-and-roll home town as a teenager, and was probably the only girl in a ten-mile radius who didn't wear Lycra miniskirts.

One night we were sloping off to the pub and were surrounded by a group of lads who seemed to be spoiling for a fight. "Oi, freakoids," said one, "do you think it's fucking Halloween or summink?"
We were quite gleeful in telling him that it was, in fact, Halloween grin

GlitterySparklyBaublesOfDoom Tue 11-Dec-12 00:09:16

Haha vlad wish I'd had such a comeback! I just pretended I hadn't heard and slunked off. Makes me smile now though grin

CuriousMama Tue 11-Dec-12 00:26:25

louistheseventeenth why do you go home? She sounds awful.

misterwife Tue 11-Dec-12 01:10:41

OK - teenage, in McDonald's, visible mobility difficulties, some clueless woman knocks into me with her handbag and sends me and my milkshake flying. I look up with tears in my eyes, only to have this ratty, bald beardo say "Well it wasn't me!!" as if that would make it all better.

Also: at university, dating using the internet, still visible mobility difficulties, go on date with apparently pleasant woman and have pleasant if chemistry-free time, arrange another date about a month later with another woman from the same college, get stood up, check e-mail when I get back to college... to find a long screed saying "Oh yeah my friend * said she went on a date with you a few weeks ago and you were really f***ing weird so I didn't think I'd bother but now I'm having a guilt trip about it - I hope you don't mind but I feel awful!!". No, the honesty did not make me feel good.

aquashiv Tue 11-Dec-12 10:32:03

One of my beloved children clocked my lovely post waxed lip and asked me was Movember over now? I was kind of impressed that he knew about such things

SeasonallySnowyPeasant Tue 11-Dec-12 10:42:42

louis I wouldn't bother. She sounds horrible.

iamwhaticallpregnant Tue 11-Dec-12 11:45:28

At first I couldn't think of anything that anyone had ever said to me that was rude, then they all came flooding back!

1 / A Czech adult male student said to me in heavy Czech accent "You should go to gym, you are a little fat" I was so shell shocked I could say nothing but 'pardon?' thinking it was the language barrier. He just repeated it whilst pointing at his stomach. I could only say 'thanks'. He said it in front of the class but just in a matter of fact way - not aggressive in anyway. At the time I was a size 12 and about 8 weeks pregnant. I wept all the way home.

2/ when I was in my early 20s I was good friends with a tall beautiful girl. We were a little twosome. One night she brought out her tall beautiful friend and her short, fat, plain friend. So there were 4 of us. The plain fat short friend said to me "We can bond over being 'the ugly one' ".

3/ A massively large work colleague put her arm around me once and said "oh I am glad someone curvy like you work here so that I am not alone!" I was a quarter of her.

4/ My mum looking at a photo of me in early 20s said "Oh I do miss the figure you had then and your curves". What am I now?!!! Just a ball of lard?!

For a woman - I think weight is where it hurts. I am soon to become a mother and I think if anyone insulted my child I would rip their face off.

Sometimesiwonder Tue 11-Dec-12 11:54:02

I've got a belter!

When I was about 20 there were a number of tramps living in the town centre where I lived, they were always about and usually quite chatty.

One day one called to me from the other side of the road, something that I didn't hear. So I cheerily waved and said 'hello! what did you say' This was repeated several times, each time more loudly. Turns out he was (by now) shouting 'I bet your husband kisses your vagina for you' blush

crescentmoon Tue 11-Dec-12 11:54:50

After u had ds1 DHs aunt said to me 'with all the weight you gained we expected twins!'. I laughed pretended I thought it was funny then went and sat in the car and cried! DH was so apologetic and she's said so many offensive things to him as well. But when I lost all my baby weight - 15kg - that same aunt was really com

crescentmoon Tue 11-Dec-12 11:56:20

*complimentary. I can see it was the kick up the bun i needed but I still can't forget it 7years on!

SamuelWestsMistress Tue 11-Dec-12 11:58:12

I had a wild time at uni, really good fun and absolutely loved my time there.

I did a lot of science stuff which was bloody hard and really struggled with it. On graduating I remember feeling delighted to discover despite my struggling and socialising I got a 2nd class honours degree. I was so pleased (and still am many years later!)

Me to my friends: "Oh wow a 2nd, I can't believe I got a 2nd!"

HOD - who looked like Ming the mercilous from Flash Gordon and had stinky breath - walking past, shaking his head: "neither can we, neither can we"

Roseformeplease Tue 11-Dec-12 18:08:32

My mother, on us visiting to show us me pregnant with her first grandchild (about 6 months) she said, "With an arse the size off yours it is hard to see if you are carrying the baby round the back or round the front."

CalamityJ Sun 16-Dec-12 22:04:30

A couple of new ones spring to mind. And old boyfriend told me I had a nice back and that I looked better from the back (I am flat chested but really?)

And in a bar a bloke who'd been staring at me with his friend for a while came over and said "My friend and I thought you were fit until we saw your nails. They're disgusting" (I bit them at the time) I wasn't asking for his opinion and he wasn't exactly an oil painting, nice nails or not!

SpecialAgentKat Sun 16-Dec-12 22:21:08

What's with how many men feel it's totally acceptable to walk up to a woman, a stranger and inform her of their opinion on their appearance?!

Purple2012 Sun 16-Dec-12 22:40:32

When visiting my Gran she invited her neighbour into meet me and said

'this is my granddaughter, she used to be a big fat thing' and then moved her arms out to demonstrate!

NativityNo Sun 16-Dec-12 22:56:51

one from today... not too bad but still!

On showing my mum my new bag that I'd bought my SIL's mother pipes up 'who's it by?' 'Jaspar Conran' I said (half price debenhams sale!) 'oh you're not in the same league as SIL and SIL then, theirs are Mulberry and Prada!'

thanks for that hmm confused

MerryChristMoose Sun 16-Dec-12 22:57:54

I was supporting DH, who was doing the Tough Guy race. There were some soldiers there, possibly Paras (red berets). They were taking the mickey out of a young boy with disabilities. I told them that it wasn't acceptable or appropriate. The response?

"Fuck Off".

Imabadmum Sun 16-Dec-12 23:08:22

On eating a Christmassy quality street chocolate from the communal office tin, one of my colleagues said "you shouldn't be eating those, you'll get FATTER".

Not impressed.

imogengladhart Sun 16-Dec-12 23:33:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winterbluesinmyhead Sun 16-Dec-12 23:52:35

All the ones I can think of are from my secondary school days - almost 20 years since I left, yet they still haunt me:

Boy: "No one would want a blow job off you until you have a nose job" (I was 11 at the time)

Girl in changing room to other girls in the class: "I lost my virginity when I was 12. How old were you?" - She asks each girl in turn, all of them admitting they're still virgins. Then she gets to me: "I won't even bother asking you, you're so square." (We were 13 at the time)

Same girl referring to my mum was working as a supply teacher at the school that day: "She's so cool, there's no way she could be your real mum cos you're dead sad."

Boy at school: "Why the hell are you wearing lipstick? You're so ugly there's no point."

Never fails to bemuse me how these days they all want to befriend me on Facebook, be ultra nice and "like" everything I do, even though we haven't spoken since the early nineties??!

Wingedharpy Mon 17-Dec-12 04:12:10

V.I.P. arrived unexpectedly at work one day and needed to be escorted round all depts to meet and greet.
I was called up to do the honours as no "senior" managers available.
V.I.P. says : "I don't know why they make such a fuss when I arrive. I don't mind being shown round by someone unimportant"!

EugenesAxeChoppedDownANiceTree Mon 17-Dec-12 05:10:28

I have a few:

1) To scene set; my best mate's DM has many lovely qualities but is, in truth, a snob. She describes herself and family as nouveau pauvre and ever since I've known her has enjoyed smarming up to posh people with money, whom she can apparently freeload off in an attempt to recover her lost lifestyle. Once, after church she was patronising talking to me at coffee; I was mid-anecdote and her Oxford-educated, Fulham residing son came in with his double-barrelled wife (proper posh and a really beautiful person, inside and out). Despite obviously not having finished what I was saying, she just smiled and 'Mmmm!'ed at me as she backed away with alacrity and went to join them. It takes a lot but I was genuinely shock at that.

2) My Dad; lovely man but with warped views on motivation of offspring, once said of my sister to a colleague but within my earshot, that she 'was the brains of the family'.

3) True fuckwit of an ex-BF who 'thought he was in love' with this other girl and fair-dos, dumped me before pursuing her. We were flatmates (helpful, whilst trying to nurse a very broken heart) and afterwards; I can't remember his words exactly, but I was trying to get back together with him and we were listening to some Counting Crows and he said 'this is a lovely moment but all I can think is, I wish you were Kate.'

He was/is a bit fucked up though from his upbringing; very tortured.

Justtobeslim Mon 17-Dec-12 06:26:46

The first year I was married my MIL bought me a diet magazine and said I see this and thought you would like it. Believe it or not I did get on with her, she passed away a few years back. Me and husband often laugh about now.

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