To love my DH more after 22 years married and nearly 25 together than I could have imagined possible

(55 Posts)
marriedinwhite Thu 06-Dec-12 22:10:53

At this grumpy pre-Xmas, grumpy about families time of year, just a little note to say it can be worth it. We have survived the hard years with a big mortgage and tiny children and having to take stock of what we both expected from life. We have survived bereavements of parents and a son. We have forged our lives, our careers, our mutual and independent friends, and our home and have reasonably normal teenagers.

After almost 25 years together I love my DH, warts an' all, more than I did when we met. Just thought I would say and explain that there are ups and downs and good times and bad, but having stuck it out and worked together, I wouldn't have believed how much I could love him and how much more I love him than 20 or more years ago.

There you go then, nice thread.

threesocksfullofchocs Thu 06-Dec-12 22:12:52

aww glad I am not the only one, we have been together 29 years, married 23
and I still fancy the pants off him and we are happy.
life hasn't been easy, but we have managed it together

magimedi88 Thu 06-Dec-12 22:14:13

How lovely!!

We are not far of 30 years together & we are still amazed by the happiness each of us brings to the other despite all the vagaries of life.

mumofthemonsters808 Thu 06-Dec-12 22:14:14

Nice to hear, your post makes a welcome change.I hope the next 25 years are kind to you both.

BellaVita Thu 06-Dec-12 22:16:19

Me too Married!

Been married 25 years and together 30, went through a lot together in our early years.

HollyDayzacummin Thu 06-Dec-12 22:29:18

Me too. 22 years together, just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. I love him more now than I did when we were first together.

EuphemiaInExcelsis Thu 06-Dec-12 22:30:25

Aaw this brought a wee tear to my eye. smile How lovely.

SundaysGirl Thu 06-Dec-12 22:31:32

Awwww nice to see it works out for some. Have a lovely Xmas. smile

marriedinwhite Thu 06-Dec-12 22:31:45

Ooh - all positive. Hello bella I think I've met you - you didn't look old enough to be with anyone for 30 years. smile

WorraLorraTurkey Thu 06-Dec-12 22:32:39

Leave the bastard! grin

marriedinwhite Thu 06-Dec-12 22:34:36

worra shock

FivesGoldNorks Thu 06-Dec-12 22:36:23

smile

cosysocks Thu 06-Dec-12 22:37:01

So nice to hear. 1year into marriage but together 6 years and I feel I love him more now then I ever have. Hope to say the same 25 year on.
Glad you found and kept each other.

BluelightsAndSirens Thu 06-Dec-12 22:37:17

very refreshing. We have been married 10 years this year and bloody hell it has been hard, real highs and lows, some my fault and some his and the DC can take some responsibility in between.

Thing is, he has stuck by me as I have him and it makes me feel stronger knowing I don't have to pretend with him as he doesn't with me.

Next year is going to be tough but I know we will work it out together with honesty and a few crossed words along the way!

Onetwothreeoops Thu 06-Dec-12 22:42:31

I really hope that I will be in a position to post a very similar thread in 15 years time. Thank you for sharing!

Cahoootz Thu 06-Dec-12 22:42:35

This is a lovely thread.

I have lived with my DH for 29 years, (since I was 18) and I still think he is Mr Wonderful except for a wee bit of snoring and I still fancy him. I know he thinks the same about me too. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

He is very gentlemanly, he doesn't swear unlike me and is very clever unlike me and cultured unlike me , he is incredibly honest unlike me and always does the right thing unlike me I am still in awe of him and yet he makes me feel like I am the Queen. There is never any question that we are both equals in our relationship.

We do have rows occasionally and irritate each other from time to time but noones perfect!

marriedandwreathedinholly Thu 06-Dec-12 22:52:40

Just testing Xmas name smile

redbusandbigben Thu 06-Dec-12 22:59:01

Only 17 years here, but he is my best friend!

CaliforniaSucksSnowballs Thu 06-Dec-12 23:02:31

Amazing isn't it? I too love my Dh of 27 years more now than I ever did. Made it through some rough patches and wondered why I bother, but now I know why.
Still says I'm pretty and the other night was staring so I asked "What?" and he said "I had no idea you'd look so good at age 50 and I still want to * you"
Cue me creased over killing myself laughing.
He tells people we have been married for 50 years grin

SageStuffingYourOrifice Thu 06-Dec-12 23:06:31

What a lovely thread. It's nice to have the positive stories. DH and I have been together for nearly 8 years and married just over 3. We've done 'poorer, worse, sickness' rather a lot in the 3 years since we made our vows and have had some major wobbles but I reckon it's been good for us to have faced hurdles early on. We're still working away at things as circumstances are still challenging but we're growing together & communicating better and the threads that held us together in the first place are becoming stronger.

We've also recently witnessed the breakdown of a friend's short marriage and it has given us a bit of a shake up. We argue sometimes but we're learning to argue nicely in a productive and healthy way, if that makes sense.

I am full of admiration for people who go the distance and still love each other very much. Congratulations to you all!

bassetfeet Thu 06-Dec-12 23:07:24

lovely posts that have warmed the cockles of this old heart .
Married 37 years this month can I still be a mumsnetter eek and I adore my DH . more than ever . Illness now plays a leading role in our lives but those vows of sickness and in health werent made for no reason.
Worra you made me grin.

rocamadour Thu 06-Dec-12 23:08:14

Married- how wonderful. I've been with dh a long time too, through thick and currently (very) thin. Each of us feels we're married to our very best friend. we have some challenging family issues to get through - stress, serious illness yadiyah...but we'll get there !

notanotter Thu 06-Dec-12 23:10:06

hollydazzle - am i right that you married three years BEFORE you met? Original !!!

Sidge Thu 06-Dec-12 23:11:00

Aww what a lovely thread.

My marriage broke down this year after 15 years, but I am still confident in marriage and believe that the majority of partnerships are strong and true.

I do hope that maybe I'll meet someone who will live me until I'm grey and older smile

marriedandwreathedinholly Thu 06-Dec-12 23:11:08

Aww. Mnet at its best smile.

marriedandwreathedinholly Thu 06-Dec-12 23:12:12

gotta run .... dh has gone up and has just texted for a hug blush

Sidge Thu 06-Dec-12 23:12:17

Doh love not live

Angelico Thu 06-Dec-12 23:13:32

Lovely thread. Made me smile Congrats and good luck for the next 25 years thanks

marriedandwreathedinholly Thu 06-Dec-12 23:13:53

Sorry Sidge sad. Hope you are OK.

LucieMay Thu 06-Dec-12 23:13:55

Too sickly for this forum for my liking. I come here for a bit of vitriol.

birthdaypanic Thu 06-Dec-12 23:14:42

33 years married we too have had good/bad times there have been times when he irritates me to the point I want to kill him. Live without him never just can't imagine life without him, he hasn't got a perfect body or looks but he is my perfect partner.

chickydoo Thu 06-Dec-12 23:15:04

Me too grin] me too

Married 22 years together 25.
He's lovely & he's mine......still....

chickydoo Thu 06-Dec-12 23:15:28

grin

FBworry Thu 06-Dec-12 23:20:51

Aww!

maras2 Fri 07-Dec-12 02:29:40

What a lovely thing to post.How very lucky you are.Though we weren't married in white .... geddit .... we had a nice registry office in 1975 after being together since 1968.A bit smug now as to the reason why I'm posting so late.I'm still a bit wired after having extremely good and rampant sex,all be it with the aid of nurofen (arthritic knees).Like you,the love that I feel for my husband just grows. Mx.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 07-Dec-12 06:47:10

It's a bit sad that I thought it would be you before I opened the thread, because you are one of the few on here that do seem to have been happily married for a long time and are unashamed to say so. Against some fairly strong criticism of your relationship.

Bit like me then. smile 30 years together and counting.
Happy Christmas marriedinwhite and many more of them.

HollyBerryBush Fri 07-Dec-12 06:52:16

Been together 21 years, married 19 - I dread the day one of us corks it coz we really are two halves of the same coin.

He really is my best friend.

Lovely threadsmile

Dh and I have been married 38 years, "courting" lovely old fashioned word, for 7 years so 45 years in total.

We too have been through the mill a bit, the deaths of our parents, family members, friends etc. Miscarriages, financial worries and my diagnosis of breast cancer last year.

3 dc's and many foster children later I would be desolate without him smile

LegArmpits Fri 07-Dec-12 07:30:49

Aw, lovely thread. Only together 8 years with my DH, married for 2 and in the middle of the big mortgage/little children but my God, I love him. I only wish I'd met him years before.

lotsofdogshere Fri 07-Dec-12 08:32:54

What a life affirming thread. I had a failed marriage, awful, wouldn't wish it on anyone. But, then I met and married a lovely man, been together 31 years, and married for 29 of them. Like everyone else, we have faced all kinds of stresses, but got through them together, had a lot of fun and still in love. If it works, it's great. Merry Christmas, one and all!

noddyholder Fri 07-Dec-12 08:40:19

We are the same 22 years and as good as it ever was.

KenLeeeeeee Fri 07-Dec-12 08:47:03

Lovely thread. Cheered me right up!

FeelingFestiveCheerMum Fri 07-Dec-12 08:47:21

Same here, been together 20 years, married for 18. We have survived quite a lot of stress, my poor Dh puts up with a lot because of my depression and anxiety and yet he's still my rock. He still adores me despite suicidal times, self harm, alcoholism and putting on 10 stone. I am turning 40 soon and, quite simply, if it wasn't for him then I would have been dead years ago.
Merry Christmas all x

timehasflown Fri 07-Dec-12 09:06:38

Been married 25 years, together nearly 30, and stronger than ever. Like everyone else, we've been through our bad times, bereavements etc but looking back, those are the times that have made us what we are.

If all goes to plan, both DC will have left home by the end of next year. They have been the centre of our lives for so long that it will be very strange. But it is also very exciting to think that we will be going back to life as a couple, and we have so much planned.

sarahseashell Fri 07-Dec-12 09:13:00

smile
lovely thread. congratulations!

nokidshere Fri 07-Dec-12 09:18:56

We have been married for 26 years and together for over 30. I wouldn;t want it any other way and, in general, we have been and are very happy.

I couldn't imagine life without him and I think he would say the same although there have been times where we would have happily killed each other!!! But thats normal right? lol

CheerfulYank Fri 07-Dec-12 09:25:07

You will, Sidge, 'cause you're lovely and funny and gorgeous. smile

I have been with my DH for 9 years, married for 6. I really do love him more all the time. Seeing him with our DS, etc. I do worry sometimes...so many people seem not to make it! This thread gives me hope.

CheerfulYank Fri 07-Dec-12 09:27:49

Though my parents started dating at 16 and wanted to get engaged right away...their parents said absolutely not, until my mom fell pregnant at 18. Then their parents couldn't throw them up the aisle fast enough, apparently! smile

They are 52 now and will have been married for 34 years this February, and are very happy and solid.

specialsubject Fri 07-Dec-12 09:27:58

me too. So much to be grateful for.

KnitFastDieWarm Fri 07-Dec-12 09:28:14

What a lovely thread smile
Been with DP for 4 years, getting married next August. He is my best friend, responsible, kind, great fun, a volunteer at a soup kitchen, a fantastic cook and a raging feminist supporter who can't wait to be a father. He also loves me for me - for being independent, feisty, daft and sometimes clinically depressed - and has stuck by me through some tricky times. I hope I can say the same in 25 years time as some of the posters here. I'd also like to mention my mum and dad, who are great relationship role models - 30 years together through some hard times which they've faced together, and they still make each other giggle like teenagers, flirt, go on romantic holidays and generally enjoy each others' company. When I give a speech at my wedding next year (DP's idea!) I will thank them from the bottom of my heart for showing me what marriage can and should be.
Ooh my little heart feels all warm now!

HollyDayzacummin Sun 09-Dec-12 14:25:23

I got it the wrong way round blush. Together 25 years, coming up to 22 married! Doh! We've fought and argued at times and when we were young we were almost polar opposites in so many ways. Bit by bit we seem to have joined in the middle. It helps, too, that Sky telly now do multiroom. Otherwise his love of sport would have driven me to distraction! We've been together so long now I get confuzaled at it all!

Lizzylou Sun 09-Dec-12 14:30:29

Awww. lovely thread.
Been married to dh for 10yrs, together 16 yrs.
Hoping we still feel the same in 15 yrs. Have to say my side of the family haven't really provided any great examples of married bliss. I do feel very lucky.

BlackBagFestiveBorderBinLiner Sun 09-Dec-12 14:55:33

Known each other for 20 years, together 19, can't imagine life without hiim but am prepared to make a fresh start with Johnny Depp.

valiumredhead Sun 09-Dec-12 15:02:21

Yeah me too, been with dh 22 years.

InNeedOfBrandyButter Sun 09-Dec-12 15:06:10

Aww how lovely [heart warming emoticon]

Wish I could say the same, although being single is better then being a bastard no matter how many years you've stuck it out so far.

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