To feel jealous of women screaming in pain?

(96 Posts)
honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:26:34

I'm 39+4 weeks pregnant and have been watching some one born every minute repeats. I am insainly jealous of the screaming crying women, I just keep thinking "but I want to be screaming not sitting on the sofa with my raspberry leaf tea!."

I was in hospital yesterday because of high blood pressure and reduced fetal movements, all was fine and i was sitting waiting for my DP to pick me up. A woman walked by puffing, panting and crying, the normal reaction to this would be to think poor her, I hope she is ok but no crazy hormonal me was so envious that it wasn't me.

I am sure that I will be regreting wishing pain upon myself as soon as labour starts but for now I am just fantasizing about debilitatin pain.

mrscrimbobash Thu 06-Dec-12 21:27:56

When you're screeching in pain remember this thread please. And record the manic screechy laughter that ensues from your crazed mind grin

Not long to go. Enjoy the calm before the storm.

Xales Thu 06-Dec-12 21:32:34

You wierdo!

But as you are 39+4 I'll let you off grin

cynnerthenaughtyreindeer Thu 06-Dec-12 21:33:55 worries..just a bit of labour envy..YANBU..

MightTinge Thu 06-Dec-12 21:34:12

I was so desperate to see my first baby when I was pregnant that on the ward a week or so before he was born I heard a woman screaming in the delivery suite and all I felt was pure jealousy. She would have her baby soon, but there I was, huge, waddling, due and no sign whatsoever of him.

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:35:06

I know I am being so strange! I have spent much of my pregnancy dreading giving birth but now I feel like I just want to get it over with, it feels like standing at the top of a death slide and just wanting to go down as fast as possible not hang around there for 2 weeks!

Cahoootz Thu 06-Dec-12 21:35:14

Screaming is great! It is a natural pain reliever and it helps everyone else in the room feel your pain. Ignore anyone who asks you to be quiet. grin

Hope everything goes brilliantly. thanks

icclebabyjesusheave Thu 06-Dec-12 21:35:30


Oh you'll be there soon enough. Remember this thread and get ready for your fanjo to never be the same again! grin

Fakebook Thu 06-Dec-12 21:37:29

Yanbu! I was in your position this time last year. Screaming in pain is a bit crap but that relief after pushing out the head is immense.

Cahoootz Thu 06-Dec-12 21:37:48


Very funny post........ I think we are right to assume it is a PFB. grin

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:38:03

We had goodbye old fanjo sex yesterday to see if that would encourage the baby to come out but no luck!

Fairylea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:38:14

I never screamed. I did say fuck a lot.

You'll be fine smile not long now !!

EverybodysSnowyEyed Thu 06-Dec-12 21:39:51

i was a screamer. the midwife told me (between screams) that it wasn't helping. i think i may have screamed 'yes it bloody does' with the next contraction!

It's all about having something to focus on!

Cahoootz Thu 06-Dec-12 21:41:37

Screaming and swearing is the way to go. Might as well enjoy yourself!

grin goodbye old fanjo sex grin. This thread is very funny.

Fakebook Thu 06-Dec-12 21:41:48

I ended up squatting and jumping a lot a week before labour kicked off. We tried sex too, but DH missed. I had a massive fight with him about that.

fluffypillow Thu 06-Dec-12 21:42:52

Hope you're in debilitating pain really soon wink

Seriously though, good luck with your new baba smile

BrianButterfield Thu 06-Dec-12 21:43:45

YANBU - actually having a newborn is so much better than being 9 months pregnant, it's worth the pain!

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:45:28

Fakebook I would have been furious if DP had missed, it happened a cpuple of times when we were ttc and I was angry then but now it would have been an unforgivable crime.

I watched the swedish version of obem (we live in Sweden) and they didn't scream! I worry maybe it is a cultural difference and I will be the crazy swearing English woman, oh well I am sure I won't care by that point.

I wish I'd screamed & swore a bit more!

Despite being in a lot of pain, I didn't make much noise (just dug my nails in DH) - so much so that the midwife didn't consider me to be in "real labour" and I almost ended up having DS2 in the hospital lift. grin

Hope you get your wish soon and all goes well thanks

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Thu 06-Dec-12 21:47:44

YANBU. It's going to hurt whether baby comes out now or in 2 weeks, I'd rather get it over and done with too! Plus in 2 weeks the baby will be even bigger your poor fanjo

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:50:37

Plus in 2 weeks the baby will be even bigger your poor fanjo I had a scan yeterday and he is already 4.2 kg, the sonographer said he could be 4.5 kg (10 lb) if I go over my due date confused

Thank you for all the kind wishes and thanks s smile

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 06-Dec-12 21:54:38

You definitely won't care at that point, but you might feel a bit embarrassed afterwards. That's ok too though, I think we all do blush grin

noblegiraffe Thu 06-Dec-12 21:55:07

Funny isn't it? I spent most of my first pregnancy absolutely dreading childbirth, then the last two weeks actively trying to bring it on.

Cahoootz Thu 06-Dec-12 21:58:21

The screaming and swearing isn't embarrassing it's the having millions possibly more of medical students gawping looking at the fanjo aftermath that's embarrassing.

blackeyedsusan Thu 06-Dec-12 22:00:14

I did not scream... at all... I was too busy sucking the gas and air so that i was off somewhere else for the duration.. grin

OHforDUCKScake Sun 09-Dec-12 07:50:44

Has it been your time to scream yet honeytea?

Gillyweed001 Sun 09-Dec-12 08:05:53

Honey, don't worry too much about the weight. They told me ds was at least 8 pound, 4 weeks before my due date. when he was born, he was only 6.12! Good luck, you'll be there soon!

wem Sun 09-Dec-12 08:08:12

I remember feeling like this when in hospital waiting for an induction with DD2. It was a really busy day and I kept being bumped for the actual labouring women that kept coming in. I heard the screams and just wanted it to be my turn! Bit me on the bum later though, having barely made a noise with DD1 I screamed my head off when I finally got induced.

Hope it's your turn soon honeytea!

honey definately scream if you need to. My midwife told me off but I just didn't care, it definately helped!

What didn't help was 2 previous labours with a gradual build up for 2 weeks and then this 1 being 3hrs 10 mins from first pain to birth!

MrsGeologist Sun 09-Dec-12 08:38:45

With DS2, I was fine until crowning. I'd had a local when I had DS1, so didn't feel it, and was not prepared for how much it fucking stung. I screamed like a fucking banshee. Never screamed like that before. It was quite liberating, in a way grin

blackeyedsusan ditto, I did not utter a single noise apart from 'please take your clammy hands off me DM' which is odd as normally I am quite shouty and can be quite sweary

Gas and air is goooooooooooood

DH was concerned that I wasn't getting enough oxygen as I had the G&A clamped between my teeth for about 6 hours, bless him!

EuphemiaInExcelsis Sun 09-Dec-12 09:02:27

DH missed

Missed what? confused

RooneyMara Sun 09-Dec-12 09:07:45

I understand completely.

However screaming doesn't work very well ime.

You could get lucky and never have to scream in pain at all. I feel like a bit of a cheat having had an EMCS - waters broke, 12 hours of induction with naught but a token twinge or two and lots of me saying, 'is something supposed to be happening?' while midwives shook their heads at the max dose of syntocin I was on, then they cut DS an emergency escape hatch. Fanjo still honeymoon fresh grin

Fakebook Sun 09-Dec-12 09:16:17

Euphemia, missed ejaculating where he should have. confused.

TotesFeckingAmaze Sun 09-Dec-12 09:19:08


Is this your first baby, OP?

JenaiMathis Sun 09-Dec-12 10:33:37

How are these men missing their partners' vaginas?

Am I missing something? confused

EuphemiaInExcelsis Sun 09-Dec-12 10:46:12

I'm naïve lost. Did they do it in the wrong orifice? confused

Thumbwitch Sun 09-Dec-12 10:53:02

Oh I have a wry smile on my face reading this thread!

I didn't scream in my first labour, but wailed a lot. Second one though - ahh yes, lots of screaming (thanks for that, syntocin drip!) I couldn't have stopped it if I tried, tbh, it was out of my control. I'm still sure I heard someone going "Sshhh, shh" so I hit DH with the gas&air tube (thought it was him) - he looked most offended and asked why, and then denied saying Sh! Oops blush

First pg, DH "missed" when I was 41w pg and trying the sex-to-bring-on-labour thing - it was the most uncomfortable and awful experience of sex ever and wasn't even effective as he didn't ejaculate - we didn't even bother this time around. grin

Anyway - YABU to be envy of the pain but not the reason for it - I hope you have a calm and quick labour and that it starts soon for you - thanks and wine in advance! smile

EuphemiaInExcelsis Sun 09-Dec-12 10:56:01

I never made it to labour - emergency c section at 36 weeks - evidently there's a whole "Take aim, fire!" scenario DH and I missed out on! grin

MummytoMog Sun 09-Dec-12 10:59:56

I found mooing much more effective. Mooed like a cow both times. Found the old baby inducing shag very effective both times as well, although DH had to be forced into it. And despite a shed load of stitches both times I'm still using the smaller size mooncup...

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow Sun 09-Dec-12 11:00:25

I just snorted tea from both nostrils thanks to this thread!

Good luck OP!

Jingleflobba Sun 09-Dec-12 11:36:29

Have just spent 5 minutes wondering exactly how fakebook's DH missed! blush i get it now, only had one coffee this morning...
Totally normal to be envious, i spent my last 2 weeks reading birth announcements while green with envy and giving evil looks to women pushing prams so I know how you feel!

nellyjelly Sun 09-Dec-12 11:41:27

I wailed and groaned rather than screamed. Good luck OP.

Fakebook Sun 09-Dec-12 11:47:17

I didn't want to go into too much detail! It's really hard getting into position with a massive belly at 39 weeks. Apparently the sperm has to be deposited as close to the cervix as possible to kickstart labour, so that meant missionary. It was all very awkward and there was a lot of stopping and starting. So just as he was about to finish off he went off course and ended up outside. I've never felt such rage in my life. He was pissed off too for forcing him to do the job. If there's a next time, I'll just stick with squatting and star jumps.

JenaiMathis Sun 09-Dec-12 12:00:16

Oh Fakebook I get you now grin


EuphemiaInExcelsis Sun 09-Dec-12 12:06:58

I'll just stick with squatting and star jumps

My c section is looking like the more dignified option at the moment! grin

SoniaGluck Sun 09-Dec-12 12:12:30

How are these men missing their partners' vaginas?
I just cackled like a loon at this.

Thank you to Fakebook for explaining. I didn't understand because I had very small bumps and missionary was never a problem even at 40+ weeks.

Not that sex ever started labour for me - long walks with the dogs did the trick a couple of times. wink

applecrumple Sun 09-Dec-12 12:38:25

YANBU my dd is 12 weeks old, but she was 4 weeks prem. I had to be induced because she had stopped growing. I had 2 failed inductions, dd went into distress & had to be delivered by em c section. I didn't even make it into labour (apart from some minor tightenings - think I was about 2 cm dilated). Can't even watch one born every minute now as would just make me jealous & upset over the labour I never had. Silly really as I have a beautiful daughter, but I just can't help it.

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 12:57:22

No screaming for me yet envy It was very close on friday I was sent by my midwife to hospital as my blood preassure was high and I had protein in my urine, they wanted to induce me but I was 0cm dilated so they couldn't even do a sweep. My cervix was soft (not really sure what that means) but hopefully it won't be too long!

When my DP missed whilst ttc I ment he didn't get close enough to the cervix, timed the thrust wrong so to speak.

It is my 1st baby and I'm just ready to meet him now!

Curry for lunch and some christmas shopping later will get things moving I hope!

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 12:57:43

And thank you for the thanks smile

I've never screamed during labour, too busy clamping down on the g&a. Sex worked too well with ds3 who was born at 32 weeks although I think it was probably down to other things too.

Sex was banned with ds2 and I've banned it myself during this pg, although I'm Mott sure if were able to or not.

I did laugh at the mooing though

SoniaGluck Sun 09-Dec-12 13:01:06

Sorry, meant to add Good luck, honeytea. Hope all goes well when it
( eventually grin ) happens.

Good luck with it all. Hope your in excruciating pain soon! Lol!
I never screamed with my first or second dcs, so much so, they made me stand in the waiting room, then eventually when I sat down (had to wait for 3 or 4 hours), I was told I had to wait some more. Then had some midwife say "well I'll think we'll have to send you home because you're not really in proper labour.... If you were you would be screaming. Oh let's have a look anyway. 6cm, why didn't you say earlier!?"

I remember fracturing my arm at school when I was 8 and no-one took any notice because I wasn't screaming...wasn't til the x ray 2 days later that they found out... I'm probably one of those freaky people that can tolerate pain.

BuntysFestiveCollocks Sun 09-Dec-12 16:08:12

Oh, where are the repeats being shown? In the same boat, but 37+2 - can't wait to get on with it all and have baby here (and this is not my pfb! wink )

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 16:26:39

I am rubbish with pain, I cry having my eyebrows plucked.

I habe been watching the obem episodes on 4 on demand smile

JuliaScurr Sun 09-Dec-12 16:55:33

lowing. why hasn't anyone mentioned lowing?

deep moowy lowing like cattle.

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 18:53:24

The only time I have ever used the work lowing is singing the christmas song. I will give it a go! smile

Pandemoniaa Sun 09-Dec-12 19:57:20

I found mooing particularly effective when giving birth to ds2. Not that I was aware I was mooing initially. Only I was concentrating very hard and became aware that I appeared to be in a cattle shed - which had a strange aoprooriateness given that it was the week before Christmas.. On asking ex-dh who had let a herd of cows into the labour ward, he invited me to listen to myself!

Good luck with the curry though, honeytea.

Haa haa haaa missing fanjos, and the mooing got me... I was thinking confused missed? and mind in the gutted thinking did he get your bum..

I had Gas and air I think I groaned and said fuck fuck fuck lots and then after draining a tank of gas and air, i remember being like a wild animal saying gas and air gas and air Nooooowwww, the midwifes were laughing grin

But I remember getting the screaming woman envy and wanting to go in and said - what did you have... it was the not knowing what was happening that got me.

Oh and good luck OP - record for us eh!!!

StinkyWicket Sun 09-Dec-12 20:01:53

I never screamed. I mooed. And hummed.

No screaming though!

I was like that this time last year. My DD2 was induced in the end, due to my waters breaking and not going into labour by myself....couldn't wait to be in pain and get her into the world. She ended up being born on her due date 22nd Dec grin

Oh and I never screamed or made a sound! Lol!

Pandemoniaa Sun 09-Dec-12 20:12:05

I never screamed with either of mine. I was very, very sweary with ds1 though. The midwife commented to my then dh that "for such a well-spoken woman, your wife has as astonishingly filthy vocabulary". I overheard this and told her to fuck off and make it fucking snappy.

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 20:19:03

Now I am envious of all you non screaming women!

Mrsdetermined I bet you were happy you didn't go over due smile

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 09-Dec-12 20:27:05

I never screamed either. I think is better if you don't. Instead, imagine your body to be opening like a flower... I did moo like crazy though.
I was an on-all-fours-mooing animal woman.
Good luck OP!
Not long now.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 09-Dec-12 20:28:07

My fanjo is tip top an' all!

Oh and chin down was the BEST advice I got...

MrsLyman Sun 09-Dec-12 20:41:20

YANBU grin I was exactly the same with DS2 when I went in to check if my waters had broken and a lady clearly in very established labour went past, in fact I think I actually burst into tears blush

There's nothing wrong with screaming if that's what you need to do, I found it helped me control the pain until I got into the gas and air groove.

I also feel the need to point out to a previous poster that it's perfectly possible to have a vaginal birth and stick have an in tact fanjo hmm

Dolallytats Sun 09-Dec-12 20:52:54

I am currently 8+4 weeks and have just realised (even though this is no3) that it has to comeout in a few months and will be a lot bigger than when it went in!! At the moment, I can't imagine being jealous....but ask me again in 7months time!!

Honeytea Yes I was so glad to not got over. However, was 56hrs since waters breaking for DD2 to arrive. 2hr labour tho once they got around to inducing me & then DD2 ended up in SCBU for 4 days on IV anti-biotics and blood sugar checks every 3hrs due to being born hypoglycaemic, jaundice and possiblility of infection due to length of time between waters breaking & birth.

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 22:02:46

Mrsdetermined I'm sorry to hear that your dd had to spend that time in scbu, must have been a hard time for you all (hugs)

DP isn't helping this evening he is moaning that I am not in labour so he has to go into work tomorrow. Poor guy hmm

Rudolphstolemycarrots Sun 09-Dec-12 23:24:19

I felt like that too! I had a great V birth by the way. Was a dream and I'd love to do it all again - no joke.

MumofWombat Mon 10-Dec-12 04:31:11

I'm only 23 weeks and I'm almost over it already! In my defence it's 37 degrees here today, not much cooler at night and our air con unit in our bedroom has decided to curl up and die. Can't give any advice re labour, DS was an Emcs at 38 weeks and this one will be an Elcs at a similar time. So I'm already thinking 16 weeks to go....but when I watch programmes like obem I alternate between thinking 'I'm so jealous I never got to do that' and 'thank god I never to do that'.
Make sure you update us with how labour is....
V funny thread btw...

I am currently 32+5, and am torn between not being able to wait for it to happen and praying that I hold off a bit longer, as I've been advised there's a strong chance I could go into prem labour. I'm so over this pregnancy as I've been unwell and sore (hyperemesis, spd and irritable uterus hmm), but know that for baby's sake I need to wait!!

Last time, my elder two boys kept asking daddy why mummy was mooing blush, and I only screamed once, when he crowned on the toilet 20 min after arriving at hospital! blush blush

Am actually really looking forward to this one, as it's my last!

ben5 Mon 10-Dec-12 05:58:19

I screamed and my language was very bad!!! Thank you ladies for making me laugh with missing moos!!!!

vvviola Mon 10-Dec-12 06:39:55

As I went into the labour ward on DD1 there was a woman in the next room screaming. Obviously my and DH's faces must have been a picture as the midwife said "oh don't worry, she's having her baby right this second" grin

I wasn't a screamer but I did a very good line in exorcist movie impersonations "gas, give. Me. The. Gas" and "get. Your. F'ing. Hands. Off. Me". All said with a lovely low growl, and the last one directed at a midwife who was gentle stroking me. I had to apologise after.

I'm also quite good at declaring that I'm leaving and I've decided to do it all another day instead grin

(Incidentally, for DD2, I was the shouty foreign woman in a Belgian hospital where 95% get the epidural the minute they walk in the door. I like to think I provided entertainment and mirth for the staff smile)

Honey It wasn't nice having her in there especially on Xmas day but the staff at the hospital were brilliant, couldn't of asked for better care..

Hope you go into labour soon. Your poor DH! grin

honeytea Mon 10-Dec-12 13:47:26

Still no sign of a baby!

Maybe it wasn't the cattle that were lowing it was Mary who was lowing, I think the song should be re-written!

I think it might be mother natures trick to make us want to go into labour, make pregnancy so uncomfy that by 40 weeks we are wishing pain on ourselves!

Gillyweed001 Mon 10-Dec-12 15:08:43

Just relax, and enjoy the peace. x

Try and relax with a large mug of Raspberry leaf tea smile

MikeOxard Mon 10-Dec-12 18:47:18

Yanbu to have a bit of labour envy at 39+ weeks.

I don't think I screamed in labour either. First labour I could barely make a sound, and I heard a lot of mooing and wondered wtf. The second labour I did the mooing! It just happened - I was in so much pain and this sound was just coming out of me. Might have been the gas and air (I didn't have any during the first labour), where you are biting the mouthpiece, that could make it sound muffled like humming or mooing I think. Wierd anyway, I've never mooed in any other situation! Good luck OP, hope baby comes soon.

MamaBear17 Mon 10-Dec-12 21:00:37

I didnt scream either. I spent the first part telling my husband that I was going to labour like Chuck Norris would, the second part going from crying and apologising for being a wuss, to giggling my head off (I didn't have gas and air so no excuse) and the third part sitting quite comfortably chatting with the midwife as I had been told to have an epidural as I wasn't dilating properly and the baby kept getting into distress. When it finally came to pushing the midwife told me I had one hour to get her out or it would be a C-Section and I just shut up and did as I was told. Hope your baby arrives soon, good luck!

Ameybee Mon 10-Dec-12 21:03:23

I never screamed because that would have meant removing the gas n air mouthpiece from my mouth! Good luck! Its the most amazing thing in the entire world! I still get butterflies Everytime i remember holding my babies for the first time! X

LaQueen Mon 10-Dec-12 21:06:05

I went into labour with DD2, although the labour tailed off and she ended up as an elective c-section.

But, whilst I was getting contractions I didn't swear, but I treated DH to lengthy streams of creative swear words said very, very emphatically grin

Thumbwitch Mon 10-Dec-12 22:18:52

Ameybee - I was screaming into the G&A mouthpiece! I think it helped muffle the volume at least...

I wasn't a screamer, only at crowning for the sheer effort of it. I actually looked forward to my first labour as my first child had been a cs. My mum was shocked at how together I was as she thought there would be no way I'd be able to handle it. Was an awesome, amazing experience I would love to do all over again. The woman in the next room to me - now she was a screamer for an epidural.

SantaWearsGreen Tue 11-Dec-12 00:43:53

Had a normal regular labour with DC2 and it was wonderful. No screaming, completely silent and calm- just grunted at the end of each push. Twas a lovely delivery.

DC1&3 were back back deliveries. I'd rather die than have another one of them, it has put me off having another. Oh that pain.. and it doesn't stop either- absolutely no breaks between the pain, it is just utterly relentless. NEVER AGAIN. And yes I screamed (I think) and shouted and grunted and probably mooed. Horrible.

Hope your baby arrives soon, good luck! grin

honeytea Tue 11-Dec-12 05:33:06

I am now on my 2nd box of raspberry leaf tea ;)

I was talking with my mother and was feeling jealous of my own (on my due date) birth. How silly to be jealous of my own birth!

40+3 today, come on baby!

Hope it's soon Honey, I'm over it at 33wks!! Need to come back and tell us all in gory detail how it went!

OHforDUCKSchristmasCake Sun 16-Dec-12 15:55:22

The 'maybe live birth thread' reminded me of this... Still pregnant HoneyTea?

MamaBear I was also told I had one hour to push him out or they would be using forceps so like you I just got on with it. No shouting, no swearing and pushed him out in 13 minutes with only one first degree tear. It helped that I had an epidural though, it was amazing!

OHforDUCKSchristmasCake Sun 16-Dec-12 19:01:52

Its easy to do 'no shouting, no swearing' when you've had an epidural. You've got nowt to shout and swear about. wink

DontstepontheBaubles Sun 16-Dec-12 19:16:30

LOL at this thread. I used reverse cow girl position to ensure ExH didn't miss. More comfy. Didn't work though at the time.


this thread is hilarious!!!
I was ready to come on and say YADBVU but then read that you are 39+4.. So definately not BU!!! I felt just like you!!

I wasn't a screamer either.. I was too busy chewing the G&A mouthpiece.
Not that it did much for me, and I was so looking forward to getting high on it ;)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now