AIBU that the 'Ibiza couple' on 'one born' make me feel inadequate

(82 Posts)
howtobehappy Wed 05-Dec-12 18:27:26

I watched One Born on demand yesterday, the Ibiza couple, cannot remember there names, seemed to make everything look so easy. I am not jealous of the easy birth as I know that my birth had a lot of interventions to keep me and my DD alive which I am so grateful of, I view a sucessful birth as one where mum and baby are alive and well so it is not that that bothers me. I am just in awe how they are living their pre baby life with their daughter. My life has changed so much and seems so much harder now, I have a 3 year old DD and am pregnant with my second. My life is a routine of toddler groups, activites at home, supermarket shopping, working part time. One example I could think of is that to put some make up on and look semi ok I put pepper pig on for my daughter each day, the girl on there did full make up and hair with her little girl just playing with her high heel. It just look like her daughter slotted in to their lovely life, while my life has totally changed. I want to make my life pre kids with the DCs just fitting in like they have, has anyone achieved this? I just felt like a failure watching it like I have made my life into a mundane routine since DD arrived.

inchoccyheaven Wed 05-Dec-12 18:40:16

I found them incredibly superficial and personally think your life should change when you have children. You are not a failure smile

Life does change when you have a child. That doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Not seen OBEM but my nana was talking about this couple to me the other day, isn't the DD named after Ibiza?. Where they the ones with all the designer outfits? It all sounded rather vain and shallow to me.

ENormaSnob Wed 05-Dec-12 18:46:07

Was she the one with the home made red bikini for the birthing pool?

howtobehappy Wed 05-Dec-12 18:46:30

I was just amazed at how blissfully happy they seemed and they were not phased by anything. They also said the lady thought staying at home with the baby was like being on holiday! What am I doing wrong? lol

snickers251 Wed 05-Dec-12 18:46:51

If I was being filmed about life after childbirth I could make it look a lot better, not every day is my house immaculate, I don't look great every day but if cameras were in my house I'd make the effort and people might think we have the perfect life when some days I look like crap, ds isn't dressed and the house is a mess.

It's how you want others to perceive your life!

Mrsjay Wed 05-Dec-12 18:49:51

Was she the one with the home made red bikini for the birthing pool?

that what i was going to ask too I remember them all designer and she just gave a few puffs and their little designer baby popped out , grin

Op most people this is how they live their life normal day to day things that is just how it goes, glam couples probbaly feel the same at some time or another

OwlLady Wed 05-Dec-12 18:49:52

do you just want to live in Ibiza? that is the question....

I feel inadequate watching grand designs if that helps and tikkabilla

You can't really judge from a tv programme but i found them anything but vain and shallow and usually i can't bear people who are. They seemed to me that they knew exactly what they wanted, where they were going etc. i wish i was as sorted as them, if it's to be believed that is.

Mrsjay Wed 05-Dec-12 18:50:56

I feel inadequate watching grand designs if that helps and tikkabilla

place in the sun just makes my day feel dull , hmm

OwlLady Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:38

and a home in the country
urgh
i am not worthy

scarletforya Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:44

Aw that girl had just had a miscarriage with her second. I thought they were lovely actually. Things aren't always as blissful as they look y'know.

Their daughter slotted into their lives like a handbag does. Personally I don't want my dd to be constantly taken shopping and dressed up, I want her to have a wider frame of reference now (they're about the same age) and I sure as hell do when she's older.

And I am aware that makes me sound like the mist frightful nob smile

Flisspaps Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:52

I think it's pure luck that baby Eivissa has just let them get on with it.

Plus, it's TV. We don't know that every day is like that for them, they may have scrubbed up for the cameras!

I think you're being a bit harsh, they clearly dote on their DD and were obviously devastated when talking about losing their second baby sad

Their parenting is no reflection on you. I feel I've achieved something today as I've washed my hair without my two having tantrums. We just do the best job we can, however hard or easy we find it.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 05-Dec-12 18:54:15

When I got married three years ago I firmly believed I would have at least one child by now, and I've not had so much as a sniff of one. Every pregnant woman and mother makes me feel inadequate, so enjoy your children and count your blessings. You don't know what its like for them IRL anyway.

12ylnon Wed 05-Dec-12 18:56:18

I thought they were absolutely lovely on the original One Born. Then i saw the 'what happened next' program the other day and i just thought they were the most unbelievable twats.... I did feel for them about their MC though, i wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Also bear in mind that they were open about being very image conscious, so they will be presenting a certain image on TV. I wouldn't take it as a true reflection necessarily.

FreshGoosedandStuffedLetticia Wed 05-Dec-12 19:53:05

Regarding being able to do stuff like put your makeup on in peace: my lovely MIL ( who adores spending time with little ones) always says that ' children come to live with you, you don't go to live with them, so you should fit them into your life but not let them rule it'
She is so right.
It always puzzles me when people moan that their children (not toddlers) get them up at 5 am. Don't let them then! Make them go back to bed or stay in their room.
Harrumph.

honeytea Wed 05-Dec-12 20:04:53

Just imagine having a DP who was that camp.

The pressure the little girl will face to be pretty and fashionable would not be something I would want to put on my kids.

I liked the opera singing mum who gave her baby to a stranger in the park to go and deal with her toddlers toilet emergancy, she seemed so cool and was it felt a little more like the tv show depecited her real life smile

McChristmasPants2012 Wed 05-Dec-12 20:10:53

having a viginal birth came easy to me, if i was going to have a camera crew into my home it would be immaculate.

before the MW came I was up dressed so was baby and all the housework done.

Behind all that though i was battling with PND and was good at hiding it incase my baby got taken away from me <silly i know>

but perhaps she did have it together and if so how?

kattym Wed 05-Dec-12 20:11:44

the OBEM couple live near me

I see the mother out and about

the baby is often in customised rather than designer stuff -nothing wrong with that -all babies used to be in home made stuff -what's the difference? grin

when you see them out and about they clearly dote on her -what more can you ask for?

although I did like the line in the show that said, so what attracted you to him? and she said he was the only man at college that wasn't gay hehehe

McChristmasPants2012 Wed 05-Dec-12 20:13:01

It always puzzles me when people moan that their children (not toddlers) get them up at 5 am. Don't let them then! Make them go back to bed or stay in their room.

got any ideas how, because DS aged 6 wakes up 6am every morning with out fail and he can not be left alone

katiecubs Wed 05-Dec-12 20:20:50

Ooh do you have a link? Can't see the episode you mean and want to watch it now!

bellabelly Wed 05-Dec-12 20:28:26

OP, I had exactly the same reaction as you, they seemed so chilled out and relaxed, it made me wonder what on earth I'm doing wrong! (In my defence though, I do have 4 dcs rather than just one!) - I envied them their youth their seemingly carefree attitude, the lovely relationship they obviously have with each other and with their dolly kid, and I actually think I learned something from them. Felt so sorry for them about the mc and thought hey were actually very brave to talk about it all on camera, the emotions were really raw and very moving.

What I loved was the panic when the two toddlers spilled milkshake at the beach club. The sheer panic, dunking Eivissa in the pool "wash yourself" was hysterical.

Really hope the next one is a grubby tyke for comedy value...

I'd like to watch it if someone could link, please? Have looked on 4OD but can't see this episode.

SomersetONeil Wed 05-Dec-12 20:38:48

Hold the phone...

The baby is called Eivissa...?! grin

Yep

Well I think they're awful, that's no childhood for <insert ridiculous name here>

Gilberte Wed 05-Dec-12 20:49:42

howtobehappy

If it makes you feel more adequate. I put my make up on in 5 minutes on the bus on the way to work.

If I haven't had a chance to wash my hair the night before I wet and gel it in the station toilets. (I'm glam me).

I have a quick ten to fifteen minutes to shower/dress in the mornings before DH goes to work but even though I will have been up since 6 I don't have much time to do anything for myself in the morning. I'm frequently to be found trrying to shovel a spoonful or two of porridge in, whilst wiping a bum, doing some colouring in, getting breakfasts ready for 2 DDs and wrestling them into their clothes whilst breaking up their fights.

ovenchips Wed 05-Dec-12 20:51:31

I watched it too. If I am honest I made an instant judgement about them with their fashiony/looks/sleb interests but turns out I was wrong.

I found them rather lovely. Their closeness as a couple and the amount of doting on their daughter was touching.

I think what makes their DD seem to fit seamlessly into their lives (as far as you can ever tell from the telly) was because a) they run their own business together - that has got to hugely increase flexibility in having their DD around and b) they didn't seem to be short of money.

I really think a child could 'slot' into your life a lot more easily in those circumstances.

drmummmsy Wed 05-Dec-12 20:54:01

Really? Christ they made me feel great about myself!

Don't feel like a failure!

juneybean Wed 05-Dec-12 20:54:40

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/one-born-what-happened-next/4od#3447897

Except it's episode 2

Thank you Juneybean thanks

DieDeutschLehrerin Wed 05-Dec-12 21:17:23

I thought they seemed nice enough and very devoted.

Unfortunately, I kept hearing, Eivissa and thinking, eviscerate confused

GeraldineH Wed 05-Dec-12 21:23:16

I thought they were nice enough, though hugely annoying. I was thinking that Eivissa appeared to just be an accessory for them, albeit a massively loved accessory.

I wondered how they will manage once she gets a little older and isn't happy just being toted about looking at Dior tights, once she becomes a stroppy toddler with her own mind they may need to start changing their lives a bit more than they have needed to so far with a seemingly very agreeable and easy-going baby.

WeeSooty Wed 05-Dec-12 21:28:34

O I'm glad it's not just me who felt that way!

They did seem totally lovey but I have an 8 week old DD, today I have not managed to brush my hair nevermind look glam! I also had birth from hell unlike her lovely birth envy envy

But I know my friends think I'm coping very well, I don't show them the stressy side, I thought maybe that's what they were doing envy

PropertyNightmare Wed 05-Dec-12 21:33:11

I absolutely loved the episode of obem where the red bikini girl gave birth. It was easy, natural and perfect. I thought she was absolutely fabulous, a total star. Gutted to have missed the catch up show last night. Will it be repeated?

HyvaPaiva Wed 05-Dec-12 21:33:58

You're right, Geraldine, about the baby having her own mind. I googled the show which took me to twitter: they recently tweeted that now the toddlers favourite game is 'laughing and running away in shops, cheeky girl'. Their lives may not have 'changed' much til now but it seems she's coming into her own, bless her grin. I'm not normally one to judge - and they seem sweet-hearted - but naming your baby Ibiza is a bit confused!

snowtunesgirl Wed 05-Dec-12 21:38:52

PLEASE let them do a catch up with Joy and Fabio. They were the best couple EVER on there!

They were fanbloodytastic. She was so narky with him and he just muttered into his boots and ignored her. Brilliant grin

PropertyNightmare Wed 05-Dec-12 21:51:58

Oh Joy and her bloke were so funny. She gave him such an earbashing. I sort of wondered why on earth they were together.

PropertyNightmare Wed 05-Dec-12 21:53:36

Did they do a catch up on the young teenage posh girl with the thirty odd older guy her parents did not approve of. Can't remember any names.

GeraldineH Wed 05-Dec-12 21:55:47

Ooo tonights starts in a few minutes, its just popped up on record schedule.

peanutMD Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:21

FreshGoose - Please offer up some advice on dealing with a toddler who gets up at
5am?

My 6yo DS has only recently started getting up after 7am before this it was anywhere between 5 and 6.30am so as I'm PG with DC2 I'd love to know how to force them to not think for themselves and not to know what they like/dislike.

It's dim-witted comments like yours that make people feel inadequate but then again I can't imagine that view would make a child feel particularly adequate either hmm

GeraldineH Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:50

Not yet property. I remember her, she was very middle class and he had a history of drug use and arrests I think?

piprabbit Wed 05-Dec-12 21:58:51

Here's the link.

I think they are rather a lovely couple.

But I did hoot at the increasingly panicked clearing up of milkshake from the white furniture at the Ibiza resort. Who thought feeding two toddlers gallons of milkshake wouldn't be devastatingly messy.

GeraldineH Wed 05-Dec-12 22:00:47

Peanut I don't let my toddlers get up at 5am! They have stair gates on their doors so they can't come into our room and they get told that they can read books or play with their toys quietly if they are awake but mummy and daddy are still sleepy. It works with mine, might not for others though, I might just be very lucky that they have never put much of a fight up about it!

PropertyNightmare Wed 05-Dec-12 22:07:37

Yes, Geraldine. That is the couple! I hope they are still together. It was a love against the odds style story. I think she wanted to. I think she wanted to be a broker or investment banker or similar. Hope it all works out for them.

As for children getting up early, I'm with you. Mine are allowed to play, read, chat etc but they are not 'allowed' to go downstairs or wake me/dh/the baby up at an ungodly hour. It's not a problem anyway as they quickly accepted a normal wake up time.

serant Wed 05-Dec-12 22:29:02

Aww i think they are a lovely couple, very focused & hardworking, they have two buisness' both run from home.
They seem devoted to each other celebrating 10 yrs of marriage & the little girl seemed very contented, loved & happy.
I am personally not into fashion or keeping up apperances but hey each to there own eh!

serant Wed 05-Dec-12 22:29:42

& yabvu

GinAndSlimlinePlease Thu 06-Dec-12 07:49:03

Yabvu.

They seemed a lovely couple.

I feel inadequate compared to all the couples on obem as still so sign of a pregnancy for me, let alone an actual baby being born.

But it's still a lovely show smile

vix206 Thu 06-Dec-12 07:59:25

Wow those of you who are able to leave your early wakers are very lucky. DS 2.3 months wakes at 5 and we have tried everything to get him to wake later. If I leave him he screams himself hoarse and wakes the whole house up which I'm not okay with. grin at someone up thread being puzzled by parents who moan about it. It's bloody hard work having a crap sleeper!

vix206 Thu 06-Dec-12 08:00:16

Oh and the Ibiza couple, I found them vacuous and vain. But strangely quite sweet. I just wouldn't want to know them IRL.

vix206 Thu 06-Dec-12 08:01:57

Oh gawd see how sleep deprived I am? DS is 2.3 years and I see the puzzled comment did say children (not toddlers).

I'll get my coat.

Mrsjay Thu 06-Dec-12 08:42:13

Oh i caught a OBEM last night not the designer parents one but the one with the wman who had a head injury Oh dear how I sobbed (not in a patronising way ) It was just lovely when she had her baby then they did the what happened next and the woman had a P A to help her look after her baby,

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 11:04:35

I agree with the posters who say all the couples make them feel inadequate as they are ttc, I used to feel like that whilst watching it when we were struggling with infertility. Especially when the couples said things like "oh we only tried the once and bam I was pregnant" or "well we were not planning a baby but you know these things happen" I actually don't know why I watched it, it was a little bit like tourture.

Now I am pregnant and due on saturday, I have been rewatching obem and now I am insainly jealous of the woman screaming in pain as I want this baby to come out now, please let it be me screaming in pain soon!

Eatingdoughnuts Thu 06-Dec-12 12:20:01

I thought they seemed like a lovely couple.

However, I do agree with whoever said on here that their charmed life is probably due in part to them having their own businesses and plenty of money. It's easy to look good if you have money to spend on clothes and having your hair done, plus if they are well off they probably have a cleaner, thus meaning they have more time to play the doting parents.

TiredofZombies Thu 06-Dec-12 13:03:04

I thought the Ibiza couple seemed lovely, and they seemed to find it no effort at all looking after her. Definitely made me feel inadequate, it takes all my energy to go into town on the bus with 16mo DD. I can't remember when I last wore make-up!

They did say though, that everyone seems to think they have this perfect life, and it really isn't like that, they have their struggles too just like anyone else.

Pinkforever Thu 06-Dec-12 13:07:57

They called their child a horrible chav name which it will have to live down for the rest of its life.

juneybean Thu 06-Dec-12 13:16:44

hmm not the worst name I've heard.

Mrsjay Thu 06-Dec-12 13:28:34

I am sure the baby will cope with its name it really is just a name, I heard somebody been called binky on made in chelsea WHAT confused

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 13:36:49

The child could always use the name Eve/Evie if she found her Ibiza inspired name hard to pull off.

I rather like the name.

NettoHoHoHoSuperstar Thu 06-Dec-12 18:42:50

I thought they seemed really sweet, and very devoted to being good parents.
Yes, they wanted Eivissa to look nice, but they have a fashion business, of course they are.
I bought DD nice clothes too. not expensive, but I would have if I could have afforded it, I loved putting her in cute outfits.
The name wouldn't be my choice, it wasn't, but I've heard worse.

MoomieAndFreddie Thu 06-Dec-12 19:03:07

oooh i am gonna have to watch this on catch-up tonight now...

ellee Thu 06-Dec-12 19:09:11

Plus baby evissa is very very quiet and she's still v young, I'd like to see them try ibiza next year! Not so easy when they're mobile and have discovered the word NO!

ellee Thu 06-Dec-12 19:10:24

And I liked the name too... Didn't think it was chavvy at all...

Major props to them, I think. They seem like very confident parents, she seems like a very happy child, and yes, she may well turn into a horror at some point, but she might not!

I'm still very very jealous of her birth though.

Mylittlepuds Thu 06-Dec-12 21:25:12

All will not be what it seems - that I promise you.

drmummmsy Thu 06-Dec-12 21:26:20

Mylittlepuds do you know them?? shock

Mylittlepuds Thu 06-Dec-12 21:27:42

No but I do know that no one's life is perfect. Everyone has their challenges.

drmummmsy Thu 06-Dec-12 21:30:17

oh <disappointed> thought you had some juicy inside info there! grin

Mylittlepuds Thu 06-Dec-12 21:32:13

No afraid not.

Joy and Fabio were my favourite OBEM couple. Never was a woman so inappropriately named grin I would love to see a catch up with them.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 06-Dec-12 21:46:16

MrsJay Binky's real name is Alexandra. I'm a bit embarrassed that I know that blush

I agree with the people saying all the parents on obem make them feel inadequate. I'm not even ttc currently because it's just not the right time,but I wish I was.

Also...how do I do Christmas smileys,I want to join in the festive cheer!

drmummmsy Thu 06-Dec-12 21:48:48

put 'f' before the usual 'smile' etc - scroll down and you'll see grin

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 06-Dec-12 21:59:54

Thanks drmummmsy! grin

FestiveFiggy Thu 06-Dec-12 22:14:21

Watching it on the iPad tomorrow!! Thanks the tip!!

Scheherezade Thu 06-Dec-12 22:37:58

I just don't understand it, I have had days where DS literally would not lete place him on the floor under any circumstances, so getting dressed, doing anything requiring 2 hands was out the question.

drmummmsy Thu 06-Dec-12 23:07:43

well done ali! look at you decked out in a santa hat! wink

amandine07 Thu 06-Dec-12 23:14:33

I watched that episode and I think the couple with baby Eivissa came across as lovely and very committed, caring parents who both work in the fashion business and this obvious plays a large part in their lives.

Yes it's a TV programme, merely a snap shot into their lives- don't beat yourselves up making comparisons. I think saying this things like 'playing the doting parents' and that the daughter is an accessory like a handbag is a bit harsh and does come across as jealousy.

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