To wonder how you could get to 21 weeks pregnant without noticing?

(72 Posts)
KnitFastDieWarm Wed 05-Dec-12 11:47:19

I know it happens, but it still amazes me!

My friend (22) discovered she was 5 months pregnant yesterday. She and bf (30) are thrilled - but they live with her mum (who is not thrilled, to say the least) and he's recently been fired, so money is very tight. She's also been drinking and smoking for the past five months blissfully unaware that she was pregnant sad

I'm very happy for them both, but I'm obviously vey worried about the health of the baby given her drinking, smoking etc prior to finding out. I'm also genuinely amazed that she didn't notice - she says she can feel it kicking, but she thought she had an upset stomach!

Anyone experienced a surprise pregnancy? Reassure me (so I can reassure her!)

TwasTheDawnDeeforeXmas Wed 05-Dec-12 11:50:11

Not me but a girl at work got to 6 months before finding out. She only put on a tiny bit of weight....she genuinely had no clue. Found out in early january so just after all the christmas/new year drinking sessions! Went on to have a lovely bouncy baby boy!

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Wed 05-Dec-12 11:50:35

I didn't find out until I was 11 weeks. I'm 19 weeks today and don't think I could have missed the whopping bump but I think I'm the exception with such a whopper at this stage.

MolotovCocktail Wed 05-Dec-12 11:53:53

You're not lone in wondering. I can understand up to te point of the baby moving, but not after that. Maybe it's a limitation in my imagination it's not I'm confused by it, too.

A realtive of mine wasn't aware of her pregnancy until she gave birth. She had actually lost weight, had her periods etc, went for a hot shower to get rid of her back pain and had a baby.

Someone else I know had a relative ask her if she was pregnant, they got a digital test, it said 1-2 weeks, they booked in for an emergency scan (can't go into too much detail) a few days later and she was in labour.

Both children were absolutely fine.

AnyaKnowIt Wed 05-Dec-12 11:56:00

I can believe it, I was on the pill so no periods, no morning sickness by 20 weeks I didn't have a bump or feel movements. The only thing that have it away was my cravings for KFC

Plomino Wed 05-Dec-12 11:57:48


Didn't find out about DS1 until week 26 . No sickness, had an odd cycle anyway so no clue there , tiny amount of back pain but put that down to a shitty mattress , no signs whatsoever . Chased a suspect for over a mile down Kensington High Street , and then caught and cuffed him at about week 24 . Did a test a week later , went for a dating scan , and freaked out the midwife ! DS1 is now 17 and 6 ft 2 . Then went on to do much the same with DS2 (found out at wk 18 ) DS3 (wk 17) DS4 (wk 19) and DD1 ( wk 13) . They just hide away , and let me know eventually .

kissmyshineymetalass Wed 05-Dec-12 11:59:24

I didn't find out till I was 28weeks on my DD,I had the implant so it didn't even enter my mind that I could be pregnant,I didn't have a bump and I was still wearing my size ten jeans.i found out cause I could feel the baby move.

FeckOffCup Wed 05-Dec-12 11:59:58

It's quite easy to mistake stomach digestion processes for baby kicks and vice versa, I've had what felt like baby kicks a few times and I'm not pregnant so I can see how movements would be easy to shrug off if you weren't TTC. Some people are lucky in that they have no sickness or other obvious symptoms, a girl I used to work with sadly had quite a late miscarriage and didn't even know she was pregnant until she started bleeding heavily and having very painful cramps.

I was 20weeks. Very tired but put that down to working 60hr weeks. Lost weight, still taking pill and having a show.

Finally came to crunch when we went to the Edinburgh festival and I felt sick as a dog, came home and DM declared I was pregnant. I bought a test to rule it out and found out I was '2-3' weeks pregnant! (They don't go any higher!'

Went for an accurate dating scan and found out I was at least 20 weeks.

It happens. And not just to dafties in Take-a-break!

Pickles77 Wed 05-Dec-12 12:11:15

I didn't know until 22.5 weeks. No signs no nothing. Had fallen off horses and everything.
Wish I'd found out sooner as my whole life disintegrated pretty quickly confused

BrianCoxIsAChristmasPud Wed 05-Dec-12 12:17:24

Am sat here, 22 weeks pregnant and being used as my Boy's personal punch bag, with a face like this shock

I didn't feel much movement until about 2 weeks ago though, so can understand the digestion/baby movement thing.

Fancy finding out so late - I've needed the full 9 months to get my head round everything grin

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Wed 05-Dec-12 12:22:24

ex colleague was 7 months when she found out. had always had irregular periods and didn't gain any weight at all until after she found out. she had a healthy baby boy.

i regulary get sensations in my tummy, like wind bubbles passing through that feel identical to what the earlier baby movements felt like when i was pregnant so i can understand how someone might not recognise movement as odd or as a baby moving.

HazleNutt Wed 05-Dec-12 12:24:29

My sis was 20 weeks, also erratic cycles and she didn't put on any weight and didn't show at all, even though she's very slim.
Of course she ate everything you're not supposed to, did everything, drank and smoked. Niece is a healthy smart and pretty 7-year old now.

PrincessScrumpy Wed 05-Dec-12 12:24:50

My cousin didn't know until she gave birth - bled throughout and even in hospital (after ambulance took her in for severe abdominal pains) my auntie suggested her dd looked like she was in labour and the doctor dismissed it - 4 hours later she had a 9lb baby!

I however wat in maternity clothes by 13w with dd1 and dtds... well I was showing at 8w. She was fairly large to start with whereas I have a small frame. Her son is now 11 and she is still amazed that she didn't know herself but she was 19 and very immature at the time.

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Wed 05-Dec-12 12:30:55

Never felt any of my movements for definite until about 22/23 weeks, and have erratic periods, so I could see how it would happen if you are caught up in life. Minimal symptoms, gaining a bit of weight, maybe upset tummy feelings and some nausea, all easily explained by other things.

AboutThyme Wed 05-Dec-12 12:30:55

Friend of mine didn't find out until she was nearly 30 weeks. No sickness, no bump, she put on maybe 4-5lbs and attributed it to 2 recent holidays, she had periods, she drank, she smoked and only found out when she went went to the GP complaining of constipation! Her son is 18 now, perfectly healthy 6 foot lad!

I found out at just over 3 months but I can understand how people can kiss the symptoms.

I'm 32 weeks now and only just seem to be getting a bump, I'm a size 14 normally haven't put much weight at all on. I also have an anterior placenta so didn't feel movements until past 28 weeks.

I had nausea and sickness but it would've been easy to put it down to stomach bugs. I wasn't having periods due to still breastfeeding ds3, even if I'd just stopped I'd have put the lack if periods down to my body readjusting.

I only found out because all of a sudden ds3 refused breast milk and ds1 had done exactly the same when I'd gotten pregnant with ds2 so thought uh-oh.

My friend (a medic) found out at 17 weeks...she had wierd periods and was having a scan to check an ovarian cyst the size of a melon when she had the baby pointed out to her. It was a shock, but she has since had nos 2 and 3 and all is hunky dory!

sparkle12mar08 Wed 05-Dec-12 12:37:46

There's a MNer who didn't find out until she was in labour and was out partying the day before in a midriff baring top - she was flat stomached! Can't remember the name though, Stranded possibily?

TwasTheDawnDeeforeXmas Wed 05-Dec-12 12:39:01

Think it might be Stealth something sparkle?

freddiefrog Wed 05-Dec-12 12:39:22

My SiL was about 26 weeks when she found out

She says now, with hindsight, all the signs were there, but she was on the pill, her DH was working away a lot so there wasn't a lot of bedroom action going on, still having regular periods, no weight gain to speak of (she'd put on a few pounds but just put it down to eating junk whike her DH was away) so she just never considered that she could be pregnant.

SantaWearsGreen Wed 05-Dec-12 12:39:37

If I hadn't have been so ill with DS I wouldn't have known. I found out at 6 weeks because I went to the dr saying I felt sick all of the time, lol.. I was so naive. It didn't enter my mind, I was on the pill and because of illness and stress my periods had been irregular. If that pregnancy had been like my other two with no sickness christ knows when i'd have found out.

Some people don't gain weight or are already obese so that extra weight is hidden iyswim. Some put the movements down to indigestion, the sickness down to a bug, the headaches down to stress etc. Many actually are either on contraception so think there's no way it can happen or they have been told they either won't conceive or its highly unlikely.

Its easy to see how it happens really. I know a girl who didn't find out til she was 7 months gone. She just didn't gain any weight, I saw the pictures of her literally a week before she found out and her stomach is washboard. I don't know where the baby goes but there you go!

sparkle12mar08 Wed 05-Dec-12 12:42:11

Something beginning with S, definitely TwasTheDawnDeeforeXmas!

My sister's mate had a 'surprise' baby earlier this year. Thought she had appendicitis. Nope, it was a baby! She was quite chunky though, and was still having periods.

StealthOtter is famous on MN for having a surprise baby.

Or maybe it's StealthPolarBear...?

Pickles77 Wed 05-Dec-12 12:48:25

Stranded otter but she is no more a MNetter. I think the story is in classics wink

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Wed 05-Dec-12 12:50:30

A friend's mum was 2 weeks off her due date when she found out she was pregnant with said friend. She gave birth 2 days after finding out. Shocking really as the mum had drank, smoked and snorted enough cocaine before and during the pregnancy to sink a cruise liner. How this person was born with no ill effects is a shock in itself!

LemonBreeland Wed 05-Dec-12 12:54:28

I know of a woman who got to about 5 months with DC3 and didn't know she was pg.

Her periods were rather erratice but she just put it down to menopause symptoms as she was in her 40s.

Stranded and Stealth, both polar bears, are not the same poster. Stealth Otter however may have been Stranded too iykwim.

It was Stranded that had the unknown pregnancy. Her pics of just before the birth were amazing - you would never have known grin

I only discovered I was pregnant with dd after 17 or so weeks, nothing changed but violent morning sickness gave the game away at that point. First morning I was sick I put it down to alcohol related sickness blush

sparkle12mar08 Wed 05-Dec-12 12:59:28

Think it might be StrandedBear but her posting history has been deleted from what I can tell.

birdbrain17 Wed 05-Dec-12 13:04:39

There was a story in the news not long ago of someone serving in afghanistan who had no idea she was pregnant till she had really bad stomach pains and the base doctor told her she was in labour!!!!!!

Quodlibet Wed 05-Dec-12 13:07:13

I want to see pictures of these people! I can't believe you can get to 9 months pregnant with no bump!

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Wed 05-Dec-12 13:08:49

I have a friend who gave birth without knowing she was pregnant and I saw her two weeks before and I didnt notice or think "hmm, I wonder if she's pregnant". She thought labour was food poisoning, called her dad to take her to the hospital, and then had the baby on the bathroom floor while she was waiting. Baby was fine. Fortunately she wasnt much of a drinker anyway.

HKat Wed 05-Dec-12 13:11:36

I found out I was pregnant with my first (and only!) at 18 weeks. I was on the pill, and put any slight nausea I had down to that as it was a new pill and that was a recognised side effect. I'd also been underweight for a while so I thought the very small (maybe half a stone, max) weight gain I had was just me eating a little bit more. I also had a false negative pregnancy test at about twelve weeks. Like others, I was very worried as I'd been drinking (had thankfully given up smoking around time I think I conceived, though purely by coincidence) although I had gone off wine which was a good thing! I played netball twice a week too until I found out, was lucky I didn't take a serious tumble. Touch wood my beautiful 6.5month dd seems to be ok, but I'm taking nothing for granted! My bump was still pretty much unnoticeable until about 22 weeks so I can understand how it happens....

FrankincenseWippery Wed 05-Dec-12 13:13:04

I only found out at 22 weeks from an unconnected gynae scan pre op. He came just under 6 weeks later.

One might suggest that having scan pictures of your pregnancy on your FB account blows the 'surprise' pregnancy story out the window.

MrsLyman Wed 05-Dec-12 13:14:12

I remember the pics of stranded you really couldn't tell, but I think she was very sporty with good abs.

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Wed 05-Dec-12 13:18:40

I was gobsmacked the first time I saw Strandeds pictures. Literally zero bump, a complete flat stomach.

Her story was astonishing, though 100% genuine.

RillaBlythe Wed 05-Dec-12 13:18:45

Didn't it come out that Stranded wasn't being entirely truthful?

MumofWombat Wed 05-Dec-12 13:22:47

I can understand. I never had a bump with DS, but knew I was expecting. In fact I got married at 10 weeks, my dressmaker knew I was expecting as I almost fainted during a fitting. At 37 weeks she saw me again, and exclaimed that she hadn't heard I had had the baby. I replied that I hadn't, her face was a picture. No bump what so ever.

WilsonFrickett Wed 05-Dec-12 13:25:11

I was 16 weeks, had two normal periods, felt tired but nothing out of the ordinary. When I went for the dating scan DS was well over 20 weeks...

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Wed 05-Dec-12 13:26:09

My best friend found out when she was pushing her de out.
The baby was full term and had stomach pains for about an hour. She shouted her husband and told him she thought she was in labour, but the baby was already on its way out. Her lovely as was born before the ambulance even arrived.

OrangeLily Wed 05-Dec-12 13:26:17

Two of my friends have done this! It's easier not to notice than you think.

OrangeLily Wed 05-Dec-12 13:28:12

Two of my friends have done this! It's easier not to notice than you think.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Wed 05-Dec-12 13:28:16

Didn't it come out that Stranded wasn't being entirely truthful

I think that's right.

FrankincenseWippery Wed 05-Dec-12 13:30:09

Indeed Brady and Rilla... See my earlier post.

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Wed 05-Dec-12 13:45:20

Oh right!

I had no idea that had come out.

Never mind.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Wed 05-Dec-12 14:02:35

I got to 24 weeks without knowing. All it takes is irregular periods and and an easy pregnancy and there's no reason why you would know.

I got a little bump and bigger boobs, but it was not long after Christmas and I'd had a holiday, I just thought I'd eaten too many pies. I also started a new, very physically demanding job, so I thought the tiredness was because of that.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Wed 05-Dec-12 14:06:45

My young friend was 28 weeks. She was drinking and smoking and generally living it up. She had no clue.

Went to the GP with something or other he examined her and gave her the news!

Her little dd is amazing and totally gorgeous.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Wed 05-Dec-12 14:11:21

Did stranded even have a baby at all? Or was it just the not knowing that was the lie untruth.

Frank 6 weeks to get you're head around having a baby shock

snowtunesgirl Wed 05-Dec-12 14:21:35

So did Stranded make it all up? shock

Quodlibet Wed 05-Dec-12 16:18:16

Will someone please post some pictures of themselves unknowingly pregnant and bumpless at whatever weeks?! It's not that I don't believe you all, it's just I genuinely want to be mind-boggled!

snowtunesgirl Wed 05-Dec-12 16:34:00

I got to 17 weeks without knowing. Had no symptoms at all, the only reason I went to the doctor was because I had a headache for 3 days grin

HazleNutt Wed 05-Dec-12 16:44:16

Quod my slim sister didn't get a bump until she was 6 months, stomach totally flat. Oh and of course barely put any weight on and it all just dropped off after the birth as well envy

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Wed 05-Dec-12 16:58:52

FrankincenseWippery is that how it came out?

Its awful reading that thread and reading peoples reactions to her. Knowing its bollocks.

MummyPig24 Wed 05-Dec-12 17:12:09

I didn't find out till I was in labour. Bit of a shock that!

McChristmasPants2012 Wed 05-Dec-12 17:16:23

my auntie only found out when her waters went, then he was approx a few days late.

MrsSantasCervix Wed 05-Dec-12 17:23:44

Hang on, how did it come out that StrandedBear wasn't being entirely truthful? Or have I misread that?

SantyClaws Wed 05-Dec-12 17:25:28

apparently someone saw scan photos on her FB

cbeebiesatemybrain Wed 05-Dec-12 17:28:53

I had a colleague who didn't find out until 26 weeks. She was 44 and thought she was going through the menopause. Her ds was born at 34 weeks so she didn't have long to get her head around it shock

Hes 9 now and lovely grin

MummyPig24 Wed 05-Dec-12 17:31:36

Well I suppose I had longer than stranded claimed to have to get my head around it. About 12 hours.

Arseface Wed 05-Dec-12 17:44:35

Found out I was expecting DS1 12 years ago when I went to casualty with abdominal pains. I was 25 weeks!

It was Feb and I was a bit annoyed that my xmas flab hadn't dropped off (as it does in your 20s). On the pill and had drunk and smoked horrifying amounts over xmas and NY. Was also a year into the dream job I'd been after for ages, boyfriend was a postgrad student and I was the least maternal person I knew.

DS1 is in the top sets at school and nearly taller than me. Am so relieved he suffered no ill effects.

Oh, boyfriend is now DH, we're expecting DCs 3 and 4 (twins) and I managed to hang on to that career too!

Was probably the best thing that ever happened to me

thebody Wed 05-Dec-12 17:53:20

Pickles... Hope you are ok? That's a sad post.

FrankincenseWippery Wed 05-Dec-12 19:20:41

Everlong, yes it was quite something I must say! Particularly as my two older girls were 1.11 and 2.10 ( yes I'm that daft there is really 11 months between the girls), so for a couple of months I had 3 under 3 with one of them stuck in SCBU for several months. I suspect this is why I waited 13 years before having DC4!

Brady, yep pretty much. I've seen them, so I'm not passing on rumour.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Wed 05-Dec-12 19:22:38

Dear Christ. Surely you must win some award! shock

FrankincenseWippery Wed 05-Dec-12 19:39:22

Yes, I must. Idiot should cover it!

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Wed 05-Dec-12 19:43:54

grin keen is a bit nicer.

JuliaScurr Wed 05-Dec-12 20:07:58

not as much as me <nods>
readers - I was that woman

medication with side effects - one of which wa scarbohydrate craving hence weight gain
except it wasn't

Didn't know Stranded was making some of it up. That's rubbish.

TheSecondComing Wed 05-Dec-12 23:00:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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