to be bloody fuming, cos apparently I am over reacting!

(31 Posts)
Bogeyface Wed 05-Dec-12 09:30:18

On Sunday the kids went round to my parents for the afternoon. It turns out that my dad had a tummy bug, that they knew about, and had had it since Saturday so not a surprise that came on suddenly.

They didnt say a word until dd started being sick this morning and I rang them to warn them (oh the irony) that they may get a bug after seeing her at the weekend. "Oh no, we've already had that, your dad was feeling quite bad on Sunday"
"So, why didnt you say anything? Why did you still ask if the kids could come round, know that he had a highly contagious bug?"
"Well we wanted to see them, and we thought it would probably be ok, its only a tummy bug, why are so annoyed?!"

Well lets see now, would that have anything to do with the fact that a) I have 6 kids in the house and tummy bugs are horrendous when they all come down with them, b) I have a lot of important meetings this week leading up to a huge event next week and really cant afford either time off or being ill and c) DH is all over the place since his redundancy the week before last and has several interviews which we cant afford for him to miss through sickness.

So, WIBU to tell that next time they are ill can they please tell us BEFORE hand?!

aamia Wed 05-Dec-12 09:32:24

YANBU can you ask them to babysit?

5madthings Wed 05-Dec-12 09:32:51

you are soo nbu!! i would be furious!! yes at this time of year they may get it anyway. but i wouldnt be deliberately exposing them to it!!

and sympathies, over the last week four of my five have had it, dp and myself have had it as well and its been awful sad

aamia Wed 05-Dec-12 09:33:00

YANBU can you ask them to look after the sick children?

FryOneFatChristmasTurkey Wed 05-Dec-12 09:36:20

You are not over-reacting. I would be really appalled, especially as I'm trying to avoid any illnesses so I can avoid exposing MIL to sickness when she's undergoing chemo.

pictish Wed 05-Dec-12 09:37:06

Yanbu, but I advise you state your case calmly and politely so they will listen to you. If you go off the deep end, they won't take on board what you are saying, and will dismiss it as a hissy fit.

naturalbaby Wed 05-Dec-12 09:38:43

yes, tell them to babysit if they want to see your dc's so much!

HullyEastergully Wed 05-Dec-12 09:38:58

It's a generation thing. For my mum illness simply doesn't exist and is to be ignored. Wouldn't occur to her to mention it and suggest staying away.

YANBU, I would be bloody furious too! If it is a generational thing, I am blessed with my DM and DMIL, neither of them would think this is acceptable.

I agree wholeheartedly with pictish about explaining it calmly. I would also be expecting her to babysit instead of you needing to take time off work, or your DH to miss interviews. Is there room at her house for any sick children to stay there for a while? grin Crossing my fingers and hoping that none of you come down with it.

Lougle Wed 05-Dec-12 10:04:50

YANBU, but your thread title made me giggle grin

Yanbu. Tell them it's lovely they love to see the children so much and that u appreciate they didnt want to let them down by canceling but it's important that they say when they aren't well as with six children it can cause havoc.

fairylightsandtinsel Wed 05-Dec-12 10:18:01

YANBU for a tummy bug, a cold maybe not so much - my DM warned us of a cold she had before a planned visit but we went anyway cos you really wouldn't go anywhere otherwise, but a tummy bug is different.

Startail Wed 05-Dec-12 10:40:25

YANBU
I think they should be offering a five star child minding service.

DH is very good about most things, but he doesn't do DDs being sick or being sick himself.

I would have been furious.

boredtotears Wed 05-Dec-12 10:46:41

I would have been livid too - No matter how long between visits with the in laws that live about 6hrs drive away - Even they tell us if they are ill as they don't want to put the kids or us through it. There is no excuse. A 'simple' tummy bug can easily turn into something else. It was extremely selfish to put their wants of seeing the kids before the chance that the kids could get it.

Bogeyface Wed 05-Dec-12 10:49:15

Thanks all.

What pisses me off more than anything is that she totally dismisses me struggling to cope when we are all ill, but when she is ill its the worst thing in the world! She mopes around, moans about it for days and you would honestly think that she had the plague.

And no, they wouldnt be able to babysit as they are far too busy hmm

NannyEggn0gg Wed 05-Dec-12 12:01:19

I might not be visiting them for some considerable time - maybe spring? Time for all the bugs to go away...

ClippedPhoenix Wed 05-Dec-12 12:05:33

How do you know it was a bug and not something he ate?

Are any of your kids sick yet?

5madthings Wed 05-Dec-12 12:13:15

clipped in the op she says her dd us sick. she started being sick on the monday after visiting grandparents on the sun. op then called her parents to warn them and say the dd may have bern harbouring getms when she visitef, only for the grandparents fo say they had already been ill when the children visited!

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere Wed 05-Dec-12 12:15:29

How old is DD?

MrsSantasCervix Wed 05-Dec-12 12:20:51

SIL does this! We'll visit IL's with DD and half way through the visit you can guarantee she will say something along the lines of DN has had flu, sickness, etc, this will be after they have been sat playing together all afternoon and dummy sharing, it pisses me right off and it is bloody rude.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 05-Dec-12 12:22:55

OOPS sorry OP!

I was hoping for you that it was just a dodgy pie or something.

AlwaysOneMissing Wed 05-Dec-12 12:28:13

YADNBU Op, this is so annoying! I have had this when my DC were newborn babies too, one visitor who came to see our see our newborn DS actually said "oh I've been so poorly, the doctor thinks I might have swine flu". I was like WTF?!! Get out of my house and get away from my baby!!
Very inconsiderate.

Annoys the fuck out of me too.

I always check with people if it's okay to bring myself/children to an occasion if we have an illness which doesn't automatically exclude us from going anyway.

We've had far too many tummy bugs passed on by people "announcing" it half way through children playing together.

Bunnygotwhacked Wed 05-Dec-12 12:47:41

Arrgh I hate it when people do this. Could you not take your washing round for them to do. Your machine can't possibly cope with all 6 of them being poorly at once, just drop it round in bin bags and let them sort through the vomity sheets
grin

Bogeyface Wed 05-Dec-12 13:14:39

Oh dont you worry, I have explained that I will need to borrow the tumble dryer as we dont have one and getting vommed on sheets dry will be impossible in this weather!

Rhiana1979 Wed 05-Dec-12 13:17:25

My mum did this.

My 11 month old daughter caught noro virus off my mums partner then my DH and I caught it from my daughter. It was hell on earth we struggled to take care of our baby because we were so ill.

MightTinge Wed 05-Dec-12 13:35:27

Clipped did you read any of the OP? hmm

MightTinge Wed 05-Dec-12 13:36:15

Appologies Clipped, I missed your second post.

Inertia Wed 05-Dec-12 13:39:03

YANBU. Your parents were totally selfish- doesn't matter how much they wanted to see the children.

However, you might find that when the children are especially vomitty and pooey, there's nowhere they'd rather be than with their beloved grandparents...

Bogeyface Wed 05-Dec-12 21:55:31

Dad popped round earlier, very shame faced and apologised for both of them. He arrived with a big bag and said that mum had said to fill it with washing! If it weren't for the fact that she is pathologically terrified of computers I would think she is on MN and forstalling me grin

If you are on MN mum, thank you for apologising and for doing the washing, but dont be a twat next time!

Bogeyface Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:51

Oh and DD was only sick twice, both this morning and she was starving tonight and ate a good dinner. She is fine!

I feel slightly guilty that she wasnt as ill as I initially thought, but not so guilty that I didnt give mum a big bag of sheets and towels. Yesterday was sheet changing day, so that worked out well!

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