Mumsnet Talk

I had a chat with DSis on the phone today. During the conversation, I asked if she had any idea what BIL might like for Christmas. She said that BIL would like some underwear. I was a bit "Really???" but DSis insisted that this would be a good present. Even told me what size to get.

The more I think about this, the more uncomfortable I'm getting with the idea. It just seems a little too intimate.

WIBU to call DSis back tomorrow and tell her that I don't feel comfortable buying BIL underwear for Christmas? Or am I being a bit prudish here?

Yanbu I would be very worried if my sister bought DH some boxers

I think you are being a bit prudish tbh. Its no more intimate than buying socks.

YADNBU that is a bit ewwwww

I would buy something else and if the topic comes up in conversation, just say one of the following -

Sorry, I'd forgotten I'd already brought him xyz

Sorry, people must have been panic buying, none left in M&S

Sorry, I would find it a bit weird buying underwear for BIL

Chris - surely it's a little bit more intimate than a pair of socks? Feet have no sexual connotations as far as I'm concerned (but maybe they do to everyone else?)

Buy him a nice thong or some big Y fronts. She won't suggest it again.

If I had a BIL then his penis would have no sexual connotations to me either
Would you buy him trousers?

If your relationship with them is normal, they obviously think it's an ok present to ask for. What you do is up to you, but unless you are really, really, really bothered, I suggest you go to M&S and buy some nice quality underwear.
I don't think it is a big deal personally.

Your DSIS is just getting familiar with her DPs undies and she doesn't l;ike what she she sees, so fresh ones that justify her getting rid of the old ones, seems a good idea to me x

I wouldn't want my BIL buying my pants. I just wouldn't.

We (collectively, me dh & the dc) bought BIL some Big Pants last year.

As expected, he immediately donned them - over trousers - & wore them all day. Dc thought it was hilarious.

But then, dh & I once had to practically carry each other out of Hallmark due to the hysterics engendered by buying BIL birthday socks embroidered with the name 'Ken' (BIL is called Ben), so we possibly already have an unhealthy relationship wrt to sniggering at poor BIL's underwear.

But no, I probably wouldn't buy BIL grundies as a proper present. Get him some nice socks!

Wouldn't bother me at all - it's not as though he's going to strip off and try them on is it

My DP days buy him extra small and say "Dsis told me this would be the right size" - she won't do it again!

My brothers, dad and my DH got same underwear for christmas one year. Forget which one of them bought for the others, but they were tiny camouflage pants, and they put them on over trousers and still laugh about it now. Guess it depends on your family!!

Mostly on how you think your BIL will react to gift. Good lick shopping!

Errr. Good LUck shopping.

If I received underwear from SIL or anyone else other than my DP I would feel weird. Get him something else. It's not like getting socks, but then I reckon no one but my mother or my DP can buy me socks anyway.
Just sounds weird to me, can't she suggest something else?

My MIL always bought me lacy pants for Christmas. When she died, my Aunt in law took over

If she has suggested it, it is okay.

It's not buying a man undies on a whim, it's his wife saying that he needs some and asking you to help.

Steer clear of man thongs though!

YANBU, I wouldn't buy undies for a BIL, or a DB. Maybe get him a voucher from whichever store he likes his undies from. It's such a personal thing, IMO, that I just wouldn't feel comfortable.

It was only a suggestion, not a command.

If you don't want to buy BIL undies, then don't. Just get him something else.

Am I missing something? Are either of them even going to notice, let alone mind if you decide to buy him something else?

Just a multi pack from m&s or next right? not a big deal..wouldn't go picking special ones though. Get something xmasy.

I buy my brother funny underwear, ones with transformers or something we liked as kids on some years.

If you don't feel happy about it just buy some vouchers and give them to BIL.

Wouldn't bother me at all

It's only some pants

It's not like you have to see him in them

I'm sure DSis has bought DH some boxers in the past

I don't think he boffed her in gratitude

It's all this talk of calling DSis back and being 'prudish' that I don't get.

Putting aside the fact that it's men's undies - plastic-wrapped and multi-packed up - they really are pretty a-sexual. Surely a bit of a mountain being made out of a molehill. Buy them, don't buy them. No need for any angst.

A stunt/comedy codpiece might be pushing it too far... But standard gruts? Not so much...

Two monks were walking down a muddy road, where they met a beautiful young woman needing to cross, but the puddle was too big and deep. The elder monk offered to carry the woman across. Half an hour later the young monk said to the older one:
"Was it really wise to carry that young woman over the puddle?" to which the older of the two replies
"Young friend, you seem to still be carrying the young woman, I put her down a mile back when I had lifted her across the puddle"

In short: Dont worry about it. There is nothing sexual about it unless you make it so. If you were to come up with a better present yourself, go for. Would some Pjs or socks be better? Maybe go to tk max and buy him a set of Ted Baker cufflinks and tie? They are £9.99 so quite reasonable.

It really wouldn't bother me tbh.

My db and sil are getting dh pants for Christmas

wouldn't bother me.

Love that story GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr

I buy my brothers boxers nearly every year- I really don't think it's a big deal at all, especially seen as your sister suggested it

I would never buy pants for an in-law. That's just strange. Socks or gloves and scarves are fine.

Calvin Klines and those of that ilk are really appreciated by my young relatives. They are not cheap and wouldn't be bought for themselves so are asked for as presents.

Nothing sexual about xmas pants! We have a naice silver thong that does the rounds each year and always ends up in a different gentleman's present pile. You are honoured if you get it. Tis one of our traditions.

Genuinely surprised at how prudish some people are about this. A pack of boxers is a standard gift for the men in our family. DH pretty much relies on my mum to update his supply each year. BIL might as well get something useful rather than yet more scarves/gloves/smellies etc.

I wouldn't choose to buy my BIL undies (it does feel odd to me) but I probably would if my sis suggested that's what he really needed. I'd get some fairly plain ones in the size your sis suggested.

I don't think he boffed her in gratitude

catgirl

See, it's just not normal for my family to give each other underwear as presents. Regardless of how useful it may be for men who don't want to go and buy their own.

And it's family tradition to take turns opening all presents in front of each other - we'll all be together on Boxing Day, and BIL will be expected to open my present with everyone watching. Although I can't imagine anyone other than DBro asking BIL to model them for us [hgrin]

At the minute, I'm debating whether to buy some sort of comedy pants and yell "DSis said that you wanted these!" at the critical moment, or whether to go for something entirely different. Like clothes shop vouchers or whisky. BIL likes whisky.

<shrug> seems like she's being practical to me.

He needs pants. You want to buy him something. Buy him pants.

No different to socks or a jumper, imo.

If you feel funny about it, give him a voucher and he can go buy the pants himself.

You are being prudish imho.

Designer undies are a fine present. Fundies (one pair for two people), candy g strings, Peter Stringfello leopard skin briefs less so

What type of undies? <mind boggles>

BIL bought me pants one year. I'm fairly certain I've bought them for him as well. But then tbf he's been my best friend since I was a teenager and this was before DP and I were together, so we do have an exceptionally close relationship for ILs.

I wouldn't be weird about it though, even if we weren't as close. It's just pants, isn't it?

I wouldn't buy underwear for a BIL

I have bought my BIL pants, and sometimes get to see them drying on an airer so I know he likes them enough to use them. It's not something that bothers me really, unless your DSis has requested you buy him spangly thongs? Because that would be weird.

By the way, I don't go looking for proof that BIL wears the pants, it's just he lives with us so I can't help but notice iyswim!

goodness people are odd - it's undercrackers not a butt plug

I wouldnt buy undies for anyone else except kids Male or female.

Well I'D be majorly freaked if either of my BIL bought me knickers for Christmas, so I wouldn't do it for them either.

We must be weird as my family have no problems buying underwear for in laws. Maybe your sister is trying to get the other half out of pants she finds really unattractive. Just get him a set from Marksy or Beckham pants from H&M. If you really want to have fun, Sainsburys have some great "Where's Wally" pants :-)