AIBU to think people see down syndrome as.................

(82 Posts)
devilishmangerdanger Sun 02-Dec-12 18:57:08

an easy disability to care for?

catgirl1976geesealaying Sun 02-Dec-12 18:57:55

I certainly don't. I don't have any experience of it but I imagine it is incredibly difficult

pingu2209 Sun 02-Dec-12 18:58:01

Do you think so? I don't think so.

piglettsmummy Sun 02-Dec-12 18:59:04

YANBU, I have always assumed that it is just a mild genetic disorder with learning difficulties but have recently realised tht here are a lot more issues that come with it! I can understand why sometimes people see it that way though

ImperialSantaKnickers Sun 02-Dec-12 18:59:55

I'm not sure that they do, do they? What really upsets me is that some people seem shocked that any parent could choose to have a Downs baby, as everyone seems to think it's 100% testable for and they should have had a termination. sad

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sun 02-Dec-12 19:02:47

I think some people have the romanticized idea that ALL children with Down's are loving and gentle and biddable at all times.

PTA Sun 02-Dec-12 19:02:50

Why are you asking?

As a mother of a child with Down's there are some things easy and others not so, just like any other child.

Also the range of abilities in children with Down's is vast. Some children are therefore easier to care for than others.

Another point to throw into the mix is that while children may be easy to care for, as young adults and older it becomes increasingly difficult.

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune Sun 02-Dec-12 19:03:49

Easy?

YABU, I don't think many people think that.

YANBU to think that most people aren't aware of the non-obvious implications (I'm certainly not very well versed on the technicalities) but I don't think anyone thinks it is easy.

i have a romantic version of down syndrome children, they look so appealing and happy

sorry romantic vision -

but am aware they can have heart problems and also autistic traits, same as other children,

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

but i think it is rather a taboo subject, not one to talk easily about, up to an individual concerned

RedHelenB Sun 02-Dec-12 19:08:30

I wouldn't say easy & like any disabilities there are degrees of severity, but I must admit that there were ones I worried more about my unborn child getting.

ImperialBlether Sun 02-Dec-12 19:09:00

Do you have a child with Downs Syndrome, OP?

Signet2012 Sun 02-Dec-12 19:11:23

I look after several people with downs syndrome. Compared to some of the other people I look after they aren't as badly affected but are worse affected than others. Some live relatively independently others need a a lot more support and have a lot more health problems.

It's a rather generalised and romanticised view to have in my opinion.

forevergreek Sun 02-Dec-12 19:11:34

No, but I have first hand experience. Many children/ adults with ds have heart/ vision/ hearing/ muscle/ behaviour as well as other problems. If you were to meet 10 people with ds they would all be different of course.

CuriosityCola Sun 02-Dec-12 19:14:41

Yabu, I would never see parents of children, with disabilities, as having it easy.

Lueji Sun 02-Dec-12 19:16:33

I don't think people think it's easy, or most wouldn't test for or abort the babies.

If people thought it was easy then why the tests and terminations?

DeWe Sun 02-Dec-12 19:18:48

As far as I am aware a child with Downs Syndrome is just like any other child-some will be easy, some middling, some difficult. They're still their own personality, and should be recognised as a person, not just "a person with downs syndrome" or worse "a downs syndrome child".

PTA Sun 02-Dec-12 19:22:22

Heart problems and autistic traits are probably the best known ones but are just the start of a very, very long list.

As a baby/toddler the developmental delay is already evident and as as they grow, the gap gets wider. DS is 6 and still in nappies. He has a very health six-years old appropraite diet, you try cleaning those poo filled nappies in a diasabled changing room that doesn't take his needs into account.

He has a language delay and I can just about hold a conversation with him, no-one else can. If he gets lost he couldn't tell anybody anything past his first name. Think on that one!

In saying all that, he is in mainstream school having done three, rather than two, years in a mainstream nursery. He is coping well but as mentioned has very poor communication skills and also very, very poor fine motor skills so he still scribbles on everything and can't colour in anything.

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. There are many who may have it easier and certainly lots of people who have it a lot worse but easy it is not!

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 02-Dec-12 19:24:18

Have you been listening to the archers?

PTA Sun 02-Dec-12 19:28:41

And as for the poster who mentioned that children with Down's were easily biddable, turn that on it's head. Imagine them doing what they are told by someone who wants to abuse them or by younger children wanting a young adult with Down's to buy them alcohol.

Also my ds has a stubborn streak a mile wide. It's nothing to do with the Down's though, he gets that from me! grin

bradywasmyfavouriteking Sun 02-Dec-12 19:29:10

DS is different in every case.

I don't know anyone who thinks its would be easy. I chose not to have the blood teat to check for DS because I would have had my baby anyway.

I certainly didn't think it would be easy if the baby was a child with DS. But I still wanted him.

diddl Sun 02-Dec-12 19:33:31

What a sweeping statement!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 02-Dec-12 19:35:30

YABU - I don't know anyone who thinks it would be easy. Quite the opposite actually.

SoleSource Sun 02-Dec-12 19:36:10

I wouldn't bthnk parenting is easy. Compared to most children my disabled child is dead easy to look after. The isolation and restrictive choices is hard to live with, if you're a free spirit as I am.

Coconutty Sun 02-Dec-12 19:39:20

YABU, and I suspect that you already know that.

I have worked with several childen with downs and they were all very different, some toilet trained at 6 others not at 15. One had the most happy, jolly personality and one was the most stubborn child I have ever worked with. Most were somewhere in the middle, just like all children.

Why are you asking?

McChristmasPants2012 Sun 02-Dec-12 19:39:53

As with all disabilities I would imagine there is difficulties.

I don't know what it's like to have a child with Down syndrome so I wouldn't judge or make uneducated comments about how easy or hard the Carer has it.

LittleMilla Sun 02-Dec-12 19:40:14

First the first time in my life I will say YABU. My dsil has DS and is now an adult.

Whilst she's generally mild mannered and happy, you cannot understand the strain of caring for someone their whole life with little provision for so many.

My dmil faces the likely prospect of spending every day for the remainder of dsil's together. She's very loved and good company, but once 'mainstream' education and everything else is exhausted then it's quite a depressing prospect. DS people don't grow up and move away in the same way as other children. And often because their disability is viewed as 'mild', they fall between mainstream and disabled iyswim.

Bloody hard work. But like others have said, she is the sunshine and heart of their family and loved enormously.

missymoomoomee Sun 02-Dec-12 19:40:27

YABU I don't know anyone who would think that at all. What makes you think that's the perception people have?

Only ignorant people would think all children with DS are the same.

Wheredidmyyouthgo Sun 02-Dec-12 19:41:31

No OP, I think it would be incredibly challenging, from what little I know about it.

devilishmangerdanger Sun 02-Dec-12 19:43:22

thanks everyone

yes I am the parent of a child who happens to have down syndrome..........he is at the very severe end physically, medically and neurologically.

Many issues that have not been able to be supported etc and life for him, for us, is very isolating and challenging.

Suppose I'm just a bit fed up atm, maybe wishing life was a bit easier, then publicity and how positive it is doesn't help.

LynetteScavo Sun 02-Dec-12 19:43:34

I don't see any disability as an easy disability to care for.

I did once start a thread asking why parents choose to terminate when they discover their baby has down syndrome, and was provided with some very informative answers.

What I do know is that all children are different. Some are easy to care for, others aren't. Some will require long term care, which will be difficult to find, while others will be able to live adult lives with minimum support.

I conclude, having read a number of support threads for parents who have chosen to terminate a much wanted pregnancy due to their baby having down syndrome that people certainly do not think it's an easy disability.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 02-Dec-12 19:53:25

I'm sorry you've not been supported properly OP sad

As I said in my first comment,I don't know anybody who thinks it would be easy. Myself and everyone I know think it must be hard,not impossible but hard.

It must be very frustrating to be told how easy and positive things must be when you are actually living it every day,no matter how much you love your child.

devilishmangerdanger Sun 02-Dec-12 19:54:59

it's ok Ali, the profs are all at a loss how to help him with most of the issues he has

Lia87 Sun 02-Dec-12 20:03:27

I don't think anyone would assume that, especially as the child gets older its going to be much harder, emotionally as well in some cases i'd think. But also i wouldn't view it as a bad thing necessarily. I don't know if i'd cope well but i'm sure to some mums it could be a very positive experience caring for someone to a greater extent

BegoniaBampot Sun 02-Dec-12 20:12:00

no I don't think it's easy and I know that children with DS can vary a lot in ability etc. also that there can be serious health implications. I think the media the last few years have put out a very positive side in showing those who are high functioning and fairly independent, going to college and some have broken through to mainstream acting etc. Haven't seen as much focussing on the more challenging aspects and how difficult it can be with the added worry of their care as they get older and parents are no longer around or as fit.

forevergreek Sun 02-Dec-12 20:41:11

op, if you are in london/surrey/south east area i know of a few places that many be of help to you. please private message me if you would like some info and resources

LynetteScavo Sun 02-Dec-12 20:50:06

devilishmangerdanger, I think no matter how challenging your child is, if you feel supported it makes a world of difference.

I really hope you fine the support you need. x

FloraPost Sun 02-Dec-12 20:51:34

Interesting question.

I'm very sorry to hear you & your son aren't getting the support you need, OP. Services vary hugely according to where you live. We have a really excellent SALT who specialises in DS, PM me if you would like her details.

My son also has DS but has been fortunate (so far) with medical issues. He hasn't got off scot-free by any means but we know kids with DS who have much worse health problems to contend with so we count ourselves lucky.

As a pp said, the variation is huge, as with any group of kids. My personal experience is that I have a much easier time than many parents at the childrens centre whose DC don't have a diagnosis or have severe behavioural problems or life limiting conditions, etc. Loads of parents of NT kids we know think we have it hard. I don't agree.

Mumsyblouse Sun 02-Dec-12 20:57:29

I agree with BegoniaBampot that although it has been wonderful to see more children with Down's Syndrome in the mainstream media, such as the little boy in the M & S ad, and quite a few articles in the papers such as about children going to mainstream schools and so on, I can understand how this makes you feel like your needs and your child's needs are not recognised. They do tend to show the cute mild needs children, and whilst of course some children are like that, and adorable, there are also children or adults whose needs are entirely on a different scale, pre-verbal, violent (not intentionally, but that's not the point), dependent their entire lives. It's so difficult, I'm sorry your situation is so difficult.

I think the reason is that campaigning groups (e.g. Downs syndrome charities) often want to break down stereotypes of disabled people as not capable, so they show positive stories of everyday life and mainstream education and so on which are the truth of life for some but absolutely not for others. I have found the literature from some charities to be very upbeat with only cursory mentions of some of the difficulties (e.g. high rates of Alzheimers when older).

FloraPost Sun 02-Dec-12 21:07:19

I think the heavy promotion of positive images has been to counterbalance the high termination rate when DS is diagnosed antenatally.

ReallyTired Sun 02-Dec-12 21:19:56

I think that people with Downs are all individuals. The three people I have met with downs (all girls) have been completely different to each other.

My understanding is that children with Downs often have substantial medical problems like heart defects, issues with eyesight, hearing and intellectual disablity. There is no way that its easy to parent a child with Downs.

I think the Downs charities want to show that life is still worth living for a person with Downs. Most people faced with Downs choose to terminate. I imagine that most parents are terrified at the prospect of any special need.

Pictureperfect Sun 02-Dec-12 22:43:59

I don't think a lot of people know about the risks of heart conditions, leukaemia, breathing problems and the various things children with Down's syndrome can have and just see the learning disability side of it

blueemerald Sun 02-Dec-12 23:05:48

I totally agree about the widely accepted romanticised view of Down's Sydrome (not helped, I feel, by the inclusion of smiley, laughing children with DS in tv adverts, I don't think the inclusion is bad but just myth perpetuation is one down side). My aunt (50ish) has DS and is "high functioning" (is that the correct terminology for DS as for Autism?), she can read and talk etc. She is also the most whingey, moany, miserable person I've ever met!

devilishmangerdanger Mon 03-Dec-12 08:56:53

Unfortunately I'm not down south.

I'm 11 year, nearly 12 year down the road and don't know how we have managed so far.

I just wish and hope people would see the down side of down syndrome instead of the ups of downs.

Just seems to make it harder for those who do have the raw deal.

I feel a prisoner in my sons disability, but that could be possibly the lack of support just as much as his issues. I went on the special needs board to find an article comparing DS and autism. How easy DS has it and as I usually get overlooked on there, I come here to see if what I was thinking was right and obviously by the posts.......I am wrong.

Thankyou x

ReallyTired Mon 03-Dec-12 09:22:12

"My aunt (50ish) has DS and is "high functioning" (is that the correct terminology for DS as for Autism?), she can read and talk etc. She is also the most whingey, moany, miserable person I've ever met! "

Is that Downs, your your aunts personality? Plenty of people who are neurotypical are "whingey, moany, miserable". However some people with Downs do have autistic traits. Two of the girls I met with Downs were specularly stubborn.

I didn't know that people with Downs were more at risk of leukaemia.

MrsReiver Mon 03-Dec-12 09:23:36

*devilish" YAsooooooooNBU.

I have a brother with down's syndrome and have experienced all the usual sterotypes - "he must be so loving" "oh he will be a joy to have around, they're always so happy" and "he'll love music then?"

For the most part yes, he is lovely, he's one of the nicest most genuine people I've ever met. But he can also be an obnoxious, extremely challenging bugger!

Life with DB was incredibly challenging until he was about 16. Then things seemed to settle down, he moved on to a college teaching him basic life skills (DB's learning and behavioural difficulties are complex and on the mod-severe end of the spectrum) and started exploring his new interests - like cooking, and a local drama group. Finding he enjoys these things has given him hobbies outside the home, and a group of friends with similar interests. He's 21 now and has a better social life than I did at that age.

I remember when DB was about 12, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel but we're out the other side now and it can get better. Of course DM and DF still have bad days with him full of temper tantrums and massive strops, but they're getting fewer and further between.

Incidentally, DS and Autism aren't mutually exclusive, DB is on the spectrum. It can be difficult to get a diagnosis as there are many features of downs which are also autistic behaviours (hand flapping, body rocking for example) but it's worth looking into.

fosterdream Mon 03-Dec-12 11:20:14

My cousin had downs and like little he was the heart of the family. My aunt and uncle had a lot of help from ss to get him into special clubs at the local college and swimming centre. Have you asked for help rest bite, family and friends? I know our local ss offer rest bite from trained caring foster carers as this is something I will be doing when my DD's are older.

threesocksfullofchocs Mon 03-Dec-12 11:21:34

yabu for asking such a silly question and not explaining why

surelythisoneisnttaken Mon 03-Dec-12 11:32:23

she did explain why...

MariaMandarin Mon 03-Dec-12 11:42:58

I agree that the up beat media image of Downs does give the impression that it is not a severe disability, when in many cases it is severe. I also think that this representation can lead to the parents of children who are more severely affected being suspected of not trying hard enough, with speech therapy for example, to develop their children's abilities.

ReindeerBollocks Mon 03-Dec-12 11:51:20

I experience this but in a different way. I have a child with Cystic Fibrosis. Due to medical advances people with CF generally live until their late 30/40's. The CF trust has been quick to put this about and many people have told me that it's one of the better conditions to have due to improvements. hmm

But again, like you, it's on a sliding scale. I know an 11 year old who passed away from it recently, due to the severity of her condition. My child is also quite badly affected and it really winds me up when people comment on how it will be fine for my child as they will live well into adulthood. They don't know how severe our child's CF is or how badly the lungs are damaged. My child has had quite a difficult and complicated time medically.

I hope my child lives for a long time yet, but I'm also acutely aware that my child is much further down the road than others. I'd prefer strangers to say nothing, than repeat crap stats and myths.

Likewise, I assume most things like DS and other such conditions have a sliding scale. I also think that the media has perpetrated such myths about DS due to anyone with DS in programmes being quite placid and gentle. Which fuels the stereotype that it isn't a difficult condition to suffer with, and that it is mild LD and a gentle loving nature. Im sure that people with DS have their own personalities and can be loving, happy, moody or sad, just as much as everyone else. It would be ridiculous to think otherwise.

I'm sorry that you are struggling too, do you have a community nurse that you are in regular contact with? Is it possible that she could provide you with the details of support networks and other parents experiencing the same type of difficulties as yourself. ((hugs)) for you.

RooneyMara Mon 03-Dec-12 11:52:39

I've never really thought it would be easy. I've only heard sort of second hand glimpses of life with a child who has it, from friends who know people it affects directly, and no, it never sounded that easy. Though I knew one mother whose baby was born with it despite test being 'normal', and she never recovered. I never see her now as she withdrew, I think me being quite a 'new' friend at the time and having a 'normal' baby was too too hard for her.

Unless of course I did or said something spectacularly insensitive, I always worry just in case I did.

I think I'm more open to having a child with Downs than a child with maybe a different trisomy, though, partly because it is so common and especially at my age and older - so it's kind of imperative to accept that I may have a child with it because otherwise it would be like being in denial.

I saw a mother with a teenaged child in the bank one day, and the child was behaving in a really difficult way, but as he was the same height as her and pretty strong, it was clearly not that easy just to 'remove' him or something. I felt terribly upset for her.

threesocksfullofchocs Mon 03-Dec-12 11:53:42

sorry I missed the explanation. I do know how you feel op, dd has cp and although it is severe(wheelchair, can't talk and so on) I am still thought "lucky" as it is visible............
oh and she can't run away.

devilishmangerdanger Mon 03-Dec-12 12:13:23

no bother 3 socks, your not the only one who didn't realise my intentions.

My son. my family have been tied up in conflict for years. He lacks accountability and costs too much, hence why nothing is getting done. He is a lovely lad who has major issues, is quite aggressive and unpredictable.

I have done the whole support groups etc, all I get is, we can't help, haven't seen that before. I do wish I could come across the key person who can turn things around for us. However until then, we will plod on, living our limited, isolated life.

I just felt people thought down syndrome was an easier disability to live with when in some cases it's not. I asked to get a guide on my opinions/feelings.

MrsDeVere Mon 03-Dec-12 12:32:04

I know of at least one LA SS turning children with ds away because they don't meet the threshold for assessment.

Because they are just like every other child apparently hmm

forevergreek Mon 03-Dec-12 12:38:03

Develish- have you been to 21 and co? Based in teddington, they are great.

Also I can't remember the name, but a wonderful women in Kent does a week riding school a couple of weeks a year which is a speech therapy week. They ride/ meet friends/ do yoga/ run through countryside/ cook etc and it's 9-4 everyday for a week. They match carers according to needs, so if they have 1-1 at school/ home etc, they will have 1-1 there. Would you like me to find the name?

BartletForTeamGB Mon 03-Dec-12 13:38:11

"Because they are just like every other child apparently"

There is an element to which this is true but it clearly isn't the whole story and it shouldn't be an excuse for a blanket refusal of SS assessment.

Some children with DS have very minor learning difficulties, some have very major learning difficulties and physical problems. Some children WITHOUT DS have very minor learning difficulties, some have very major learning difficulties and physical problems.

Everything (DS, cerebral palsy, ASD/autism etc) is on a spectrum, so lumping every child with DS together is likely to be as unhelpful as lumping every child with ASD together. Each and every child, whether they have diagnoses or not, will have their own challenges and some will have some more severe than others.

As it is, I find it hard to see that people think that DS is an 'easy' diagnosis. 90% of babies who have antenatal diagnoses of DS are terminated, presumably because people are worried about the effects that DS will cause for them and the child.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 13:40:41

OP one of my pet hates is when people say that all people with DS are "so affectionate and loving" and worse "cute"

yes they can be all of those things! but they're people with a whole range of personalities and emotions and behaviours and some can be very challenging and not at all cute!

plus DS comes with higher risk of all kinds of other illnesses which need to be managed!

BumBiscuits Mon 03-Dec-12 13:55:22

I would imagine that most people wouldn't presume to know what it is like having/living with DS, if they have no first hand experience.

It is the ignorant minority who get noticed unfortunately.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 14:00:34

I don't know, you hear the "they're so loving/cute" thing a lot.
I think people like to think of people with DS as just big cuddly adult sized toddlers, which is incredibly patronising! and also unfair on the parents who have to care for them because I'm sure its really not that fluffy and fun and all about getting kisses and cuddles!

FloraPost Mon 03-Dec-12 14:16:28

Devilish, did you know DownsEd recently moved to Lancaster? They don't run direct services anymore but they do offer assessment, consultation and advice through schools. Might be worth getting in touch (if you haven't already) to see if they can help through your son's school or by signposting to services where you live.

I'm in London so flagging the services we use won't be much good to you.

My son has Down's Syndrome and has just been refused Statutory Assessment in our authority for this very reason! I know the procedure to follow but have decided to wait until he is ready for Reception intake, by which time we will have crucial evidence that his needs do differ from NT children.

Inclusion can be problematical, we don't want our children to be merely accommodated by the mainstream system, we want meaningful learning to take place! A school place with no support is of little use. I know how much effort is required to keep him on task!

I have found being his mother has tested me far more than having my other two NT children. Of course all children come with situations and problems to solve but with my son I have had to become an advocate to ensure he receives the services he is entitled to!

Everyone in our families adore him but I do have some fears about what adult life may hold for him.

His best gift to me has been to make me very mindful of the present and not rush ahead in my imagination! I remain very hopeful for him but it is natural to feel the responsibility a little more.

Peachy Mon 03-Dec-12 14:51:37

' I am still thought "lucky" as it is visible............
oh and she can't run away.' Sorry three but I did have to giggle a little, you will remember why though wink

I don;t think anyone who has a child who has any extra form of difficulty placed upon them- from the level of dyslexia whatever upwards- is lucky: how can they be? Nobody would say Dear Father Christmas, I am pregnant, please ensure my child needs extra help just to get by.

nobody sane anyway.

I've known people with DS who fit the stereotype- and people with DS who are so far from it that it's unreal. Sam as with ASD (heck I have one of each type myself! sweet and innocent V difficult and confrontational). I am sure the stereotype still persists though.

Frontpaw Mon 03-Dec-12 14:56:10

Isn't someone on The Archers expecting a baby girl with DS? I'm expecting that this storyline will be quite 'educational' as they do tend to be quite good with 'ishoos' on there.

Cozy9 Mon 03-Dec-12 14:57:49

I was in the swimming pool years ago when a man with downs jumped in on someone and broke their neck. It was very upsetting for all involved.

I was shocked that over 90% of pregnancies with a baby with downs were terminated according to an article the other daysad

So I'm not sure people do view it as easy.

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune Mon 03-Dec-12 15:10:53

I don't think it's 90% of pregnancies. I think it's 90% of pregnancies where the mother chooses to have the test. That's already a biased sample.

MrsDeVere Mon 03-Dec-12 15:16:20

bartlet it was a quick post because I was on my way out.
I am aware of all you say.
But when I parent rings up for an assessment to access services (no assessment = no services) it is NOT ok for the person on the end of that phone to make that decision.

Based on the sterotypical idea of a loving, chubby little baby.

The baby may well be loving and chubby but is also likely to have low muscle tone, difficulties in feeding, hearing problems, heart problems and may even have ASD, CP, or a raft of other issues.

Having DS does not preclude a child from having a host of other difficulties. Its not like some sort of protection from ill health and other disabilities.

MrsDeVere Mon 03-Dec-12 15:18:28

That rant was directed at the LA in question BTW, not you.

Mind you I cant get an assessment for my son either and he has ASD, LDs and APD.

spoonsspoonsspoons Mon 03-Dec-12 15:21:49

A friend terminated because of the baby having down syndrome, at least that was the recorded reason. What wasn't recorded was the baby also had severe heart defects that weren't compatible with life. She struggles when people make blanket statements along the lines of "i wouldn't terminate just because of downs syndrome"

blueemerald Mon 03-Dec-12 15:46:30

ReallyTired That was my point, I believe it's her personality/the way she was raised (my grandmother and father are exactly the same!) My aunt couldn't be further from the "cute and giggly" Down's Syndrome stereotype.

lljkk Mon 03-Dec-12 19:00:06

I know someone exactly like that, too, Spoons. She was utterly devastated about termination but felt it was the kindest option and her duty.

My cousin has an adult son with DS and no, it doesn't look easy. Anything but. Although she always points out how much easier her son is to care for than many people with significant SN conditions. Entirely true.

DawnOfTheDee Mon 03-Dec-12 19:28:01

I'd have to say pre-MN, I did probably think it was an 'easier' disability. It wasn't anything I'd consciously thought about in any great depth but I think seeing programmes on telly where people with DS lived independently (or at least semi-independently), had relationships, had jobs, went to mainstream schools meant that I thought it wasn't as bad as some other disabilities.

Must say though I always thought the 'lovely, friendly, cuddly' stereotype was very patronising.

Before coming on MN I had no idea that heart defects, hearing/eyesight problems, etc were common in DS. I do now thought and realise how wrong I was.

threesocksfullofchocs Tue 04-Dec-12 09:02:53

devilishmangerdanger do hope you are feeling better today.
you know where I am if you need to chat.

BumBiscuits Tue 04-Dec-12 09:40:29

I was under the impression that despite testing in pregnancy for DS the rates of DS births have remained stead.

The reasons given were that more older at risk women are becoming pregnant, so there are more cases than before and women are choosing not to terminate because it may be their last chance at having their own baby and care/help is perceived too be much better than in the past.

BumBiscuits Tue 04-Dec-12 09:40:54

*steady

baublesandbaileys Wed 05-Dec-12 12:50:37

bumbiscuits, I would interpret that as
if the number of older/higher risk mums become pregnant, then there are more DS pregnancies being identified, if the amt of births are static then that means that MORE and a higher percentage are being terminated

say the static number of births is 10
in the past there were 20 identified, so the termination rate would be 50% right?
but if the amt being born stays at 10 when the number of DS pregnancies itendified go up to say 40, the termination rate is now 75% right?

does that make sense?

BumBiscuits Wed 05-Dec-12 20:31:45

Yes, depending on the increase in the number of cases of DS pregnancies.

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