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WIBU to hand my friend the dustpan and brush...

(94 Posts)

Ok, to give me some perspective just want to ask the MN jury this...

A friend came round a couple of weeks ago and gave lunch to her DD 31 weeks - a blw lunch of broccoli and tomato. Didn't ask if it was ok but we have wooden floors so I didn't mind too much thinking there would only be a tiny bit going on the floor, obviously it went EVERYWHERE completely covering my dining room floor, she looked very perplexed when after sorting her DD she just sat down and carried on drinking her tea. I got out the dustpan and brush and said d oyou want to use these? She hadn't offered to clean up, nor asked for anything to clean with, nor said I'll do it in a minute.

She hasn't been round since, nor has she initiated texts to meet, up until this point it was a weekly meet since my DD was newborn. Was this rude of me? I would fully expect to clear up DD's mess if she made any at someone elses house so didn't think this was out of the ordinary, but seems she may have taken offence...

I'm not overly fussed as if she'd left the mess without offering I probably wouldn't have been best pleased and not text her - but AIBU?? Really?

schobe Tue 27-Nov-12 14:38:56

YWNBU

Does she bring cakes with her? If not you've had a very lucky escape.

lisad123 Tue 27-Nov-12 14:38:58

I don't think you were, but then again I wouldn't have left it but would have cleared away all mess.

squeakytoy Tue 27-Nov-12 14:40:03

YANBU at all.. her childs mess, so she should deal with it..

Have you texted her since or just not spoken to her at all?

Don't get me started on this! YWDNBU

mamamibbo Tue 27-Nov-12 14:40:57

we blw and its not usually that messy but i always clean up anyway, even in a cafe which some people think is wierd

FeckOffCup Tue 27-Nov-12 14:44:26

On the fence on this one, if my DD made mess in someone's house I would definitely offer to clean it up so I can see why you are miffed that she didn't but at the same time you have to expect a bit of mess from a weaning baby, even from older toddlers too tbh. My DD's friends have often left after a playdate with a trail of raisins/biscuit crumbs across the living room floor and I wouldn't demand the parent of the child who helped make the mess clear it up, i would just get the hoover out after they left, it's not really a big enough thing to lose a friendship over.

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 14:44:50

Not sure but I think I think YABU.

She's a friend, she's come to relax and enjoy time with you. Not spend her whole visit chasing around and making sure your house remains perfect.

Children make mess, you're going to have to put up with it yourself and see how much you would enjoy being expected to clear up after them every where you went.

If you go to a cafe and your child makes a mess do you expect to have to get down on your and knees there and sort it out?

I say this as someone who is anally retentively houseproud with no finger marks to be seen. But that is my choice, I accept if my friends come round with small chidlren that I am going to have to do a fair bit of clearing up afterwards.

schobe Tue 27-Nov-12 14:46:40

No but at the very least you do the insincere asking where they keep the mop/dustpan/floor cloth, all the while hoping they tell you to leave it, put your feet up and shovel more cake in. Those are the rules.

fishybits Tue 27-Nov-12 14:48:03

YWNBU

I clear up DDs mess at friends houses, cafes, restaurants anywhere that doesn't have dogs

Kveta Tue 27-Nov-12 14:48:08

so she did nothing to tidy up after her DD? not even wipe down the table/chair?

anyway, you know my feelings on the matter - I would have cleared up after my kids if they dropped obvious bits of food, but would be unimpressed if handed a dustpan and brush to do so! but if friend started using dustpan and brush to clear my child's mess, I would try and take over from them. if that makes sense?

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 14:49:45

You clear up anywhere that doesn't have dogs?

WTAF does that mean?

Personally I would ALWAYS clean up after myself and my child - even in a Café putonyourredshoes

SqueakyToy We have spoken once or twice and arranged a playdate in the park which unfortunately I had to cancel due to car ishoos!

A bit of mess would have been fine, but she'd brought too much food put it all on the high chair tray and as a result my lovely solid oak floor looked like it was sprouting broccoli grass with tomato flowers from the door to the hall to the door to the kitchen - 10ft or so's worth of broccoli mess!!

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 14:51:38

blondiedollface - I too would clear up or at least offer to.

However, I wouldn't lose a friendship over it.

Is this your PFF?

wink

fishybits Tue 27-Nov-12 14:53:43

putonyourredshoes dogs make excellent hoovers smile

Kveta She wiped down her DD and her DD's tray, wiped the food accumulated in the seat IYSWIM onto the floor then sat down and finished her cup of tea!! I think the reason I didn't start clearing myself is that I knew she wouldn't offer and I didn't really fancy getting Broccoli all over my clothes when my DD had not partaken in destroying of said vegetable :D

BonaDea Tue 27-Nov-12 14:54:30

YANBU.

I bet you anyhting that when she does BLW at her own house, she has a floor covering to catch all the mess under the high chair so that she doesn't have to crawl around on hands and knees with a dustpan and brush after every meal to tidy up. That being the case, why wouldn't she bring something with her, or if she forgot it at least ask for newspaper or something?

Unless, of course you have M-U-G tattooed on your forehead in which case you are definitely BU grin

McKayz Tue 27-Nov-12 14:55:42

PFF? Precious First Fed?

I would be offended but as I offer to clean up it wouldn't get that far.

StuntGirl Tue 27-Nov-12 14:56:53

What the hell is blw?

Of course Chaos did you need to ask?!

WilsonFrickett Tue 27-Nov-12 14:58:03

Oh come on, she wiped the tray and chair? I think YABU.

Vodkapleasenurse Tue 27-Nov-12 14:58:53

puton I think fishy was joking and that a dog would eat the bits of food on the floor.
YANBU
I always clean up after ds has finished eating weather at a friends house or a cafe .

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 14:59:14

fishybits respect! excellent and is making me laugh!!

BonaDea At her house she just leaves the mess on the kitchen floor until she cleans after DD has gone to bed. However when at her house I helped myself (with her permission) to a cloth and kitchen towel to clean up my DD's purée and finger food mess!

timothyclaypole Tue 27-Nov-12 15:00:01

YWNBU, I think I would have done the same (though may have chickened out!), and your friend was vvvvv rude to make no moves to clean up.

We still clear up in cafes etc too as both of our DS's make an unholy mess when eating (less necessary at granny's house as there is a dog grin). But, I'm sure there are times when I've forgotten and would have been mortified if it had then bee pointed out to me (as well is should have been), I would have expressed profuse apologies and then tidied up.

You shouldn't be inconvenienced if someone comes over unless you choose to be - friends always offer to help tidy after a playdate and I always refuse, but i like to be asked nonetheless.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Tue 27-Nov-12 15:00:07

YANBU. When I was on maternity leave a friend used to come around regularly too. She always left a trail of crumbs and dirty tea cups around her and never even offered to put her cup in the kitchen. I would have told her not to worry, but a thought would have been nice.

YADefNBU.

FeckOffCup Tue 27-Nov-12 15:00:25

How would you get broccoli all over your clothes if you were using a dustpan and brush to clean it up though? How old is your DD OP, I'm guessing not old enough to launch a spoon loaded with yoghurt at you as my almost 2 year old did yesterday or you would be used to a bit of food mess by now, it's really not that big a deal.

Wilson So it's ok for her to wipe the mess from her own tray/chair with wetwipes and leave my floor disgusting?

reddaisy Tue 27-Nov-12 15:01:38

YANBU

Chandon Tue 27-Nov-12 15:02:38

Yabu and i hospitable and weird, imo.

Yes, she should have offered to clear up, so she was bu, but then you kind of made a big point out of something small by handing her the dustpan.

As if to say: right, your job!

Even if it WAS her job, you making a point was kind of ....

How to say this...

The opposite of being welcoming and fun

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 15:02:42

blondiedollface - then you just have to accept you have different standards and if you want the friendship to continue you'll have to do it outside or in a cafe.

If it's any comfort, I bet she thinks you're odd too for your compulsive cleaning!

EwanHoozami Tue 27-Nov-12 15:03:40

rightly or wrongly, you've embarrassed her. she's probably keeping quiet because she reckons you think she's an arse.

EwanHoozami Tue 27-Nov-12 15:05:09

<sideways glance at BLW 7mo>

I MUST get a dog.

I'd rather be odd and clean, than normal and dirty!! I think normal meetings will def be park or café from now on (if there are any more!!)

BartletForTeamGB Tue 27-Nov-12 15:06:36

I always clear up after DS no matter where we are, whether that is our house, a friend's house or a restaurant.

"How old is your DD OP, I'm guessing not old enough to launch a spoon loaded with yoghurt at you as my almost 2 year old did yesterday or you would be used to a bit of food mess by now, it's really not that big a deal."

Gosh, did you mean that to sound so patronising, feckoffcup? My DS is 2.3yo, so we've had a bit of mess over the last wee while but I still clear it all up and would be surprised if any of my friends didn't offer to clear up their DC's mess.

bondigidum Tue 27-Nov-12 15:07:07

Argh my mother brought her DPs daughter (6) over to mine and they both started eating their lunch in the living room. She got her crumbs all over and mum just said 'oh you're so messy' and left the mess. I was hacked off.

Its rude- if I make a mess in someone's house of course I will clean it. Its not like going to a restaurant where someone is paid to clean up your mess, this is someone's house fgs. You weren't bu at all and if she can't see that then she clearly has no manners, much like my mother and her sd.

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 15:07:35

Really blondiedollface?

I do hope you meet more like yourself when your child is making a mess and you are all flustered and hot.

Or possibly someone who's not quite so uptight about solid oak floors and just enjoys your company.

I wonder who would be nicer to spend time with?

BartletForTeamGB Tue 27-Nov-12 15:07:57

"I'd rather be odd and clean, than normal and dirty"

I don't think it is normal to be dirty. Surely it is far easier to clean for 1 minute after each meal than to leave it all for later.

timothyclaypole Tue 27-Nov-12 15:10:28

Chandon and others who think the OP is being unreasonable, consider this;

A friend comes over for lunch. Halfway through they knock their plate and send food flying everywhere, all over the table and all over the floor. They say "oops", scrape the food that has landed on the table onto the floor, finish their lunch then go and sit on your sofa for a cuppa.

Wouldn't you be a bit shock that they didn't attempt to tidy up their own mess?

SoleSource Tue 27-Nov-12 15:14:06

Depebds on your tone of voice etc. If you were rude, I wouldn't have come back either. Maybe she wanted to sit, drink her tea and then clean up.

ATourchOfInsanity Tue 27-Nov-12 15:15:50

I think YABU - only because I was also horrified when people did this to me, but have since had so many parties at mine/been to so many other peoples houses with DD that you realise that you can't realistically always clear up afterwards.

I think if anything your friend was being a bit tactless, what with you shoving the clean up apparatus in her face, by not putting her DC down to sweep your floor. Perhaps to save this happening again you could put a plastic mat or something easier to clean down in future, as I am sure you do with your DC?

ENormaSnob Tue 27-Nov-12 15:15:53

Yanbu

Completely rude and unacceptable to leave such a mess.

Chandon Tue 27-Nov-12 15:16:02

That is easy to answer.

If this happened, I would say: " don't worry!", then I would garb the dustpan and quickly tidy up, assuring my friend the china was not precious.

Then I would offer her a new plate of food.

The choice isn't between leaving it to fester for ages or bullying friend to do it!

There is a normal, reasonable option which I have mentioned now.

Idea?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 27-Nov-12 15:17:04

What did she do/say after you handed her the dustpan?

Kveta Tue 27-Nov-12 15:17:49

I have said to blondie elsewhere, I think there are several issues here though:
1. do you/should you clear up after your child if they make a mess at someone else's house?
2. if someone made a mess at your house, would you expect anything more than a cursory wipe to clear it up?
3. would you offer them a dustpan and brush?
4. would you be offended if someone gave you a dustpan and brush (or hoover, or mop or whatever) to clean their house?

personally I think that a bit of mess goes with the territory of having visitors. if you have a party, and there are lots of crumbs on the floor, you wait until everyone has gone to hoover up.

and brushing up brocolli and tomato would be very very messy anyway, as it's 'wet' food, so in your position, I would have started wiping it up myself, and even if friend had offered to take over, would have carried on, and maybe clean properly when she'd gone home. then only invited her over outside meal times in the future!

frantic51 Tue 27-Nov-12 15:18:05

WIBU to point out to those that are airily mentioning, "dogs as hoovers" that some foods which are fine for human consumption are, in fact,poisonous to dogs and, whilst broccoli and tomatoes are ok, they could leave the owner dealing with doggy diarrhoea 24 hours later? hmm

As a parent and a dog owner I was always more careful to clear up after my DCs when they were toddlers.

I don't think YWBU OP. I would have done the same, I think!

ToriaHosannaHeadacheChelsea Tue 27-Nov-12 15:18:10

YANBU. My 13mo is currently at the flinging everything he's done with across the room stage. Today in a cafe that included bread, pork pie, cheese, his beaker of milk, banana and a spoonful of yogurt. I got down on my hands and knees and cleaned it up. At home I clean up after every meal (we too have wooden floors if that makes any odds)

When I go to my friend's house, who has a 12mo and a dog I still clean the high chair down and offer to clean the floor when the wee ones have finished eating. It's not on, IMO, to expect someone else to clean up after your child.

frantic51 Tue 27-Nov-12 15:19:47

More careful if there were dogs around <fail>

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 27-Nov-12 15:20:05

I would think it rude not to clean up after my child, or at least offer to.

OTOH, maybe you didn't give her enough of a chance.

Need to know what happened after you handed /offered her the dustpan

babybythesea Tue 27-Nov-12 15:20:44

I always clean up after my dd.
I tend to assume that the person who has invited me round wants to enjoy my company, but that they will have better things to do with their time than clean up after me once I've left. It doesn't stop me having a natter if I wipe up crumbs etc - I think part of having small children is accepting you will have to do a load more cleaning - wherever you are (your home, someone elses home, out and about...). I mostly must know nice people - people who come here with children usually at least offer to help - if it's major chaos (like that caused by baking and icing cakes) I accept. If it won't take me long after they've gone I decline. Very rude not to offer though, and to just assume someone else is happy to tidy up after you.

N0tinmylife Tue 27-Nov-12 15:23:26

YANBU. I am the worlds worst slob, and would be quite happy to leave mess in my own house to clean up later. I still wouldn't leave it in someone else's house, and it sounds like it was a lot of mess! All you did was offer her the tools she needed to clean up, which seems quite reasonable to me.

SoleSource Tue 27-Nov-12 15:24:51

Perhaps after he.few.minutes of feeding her child,.she wanted to finish her tea, insteadof letting it become cold. Your friend did not feel the need to declare her intentions of cleaning up herself. You staring to clean maybe made her feel judged. You should have given her the benefit of the doubt.

BreconBeBuggered Tue 27-Nov-12 15:29:20

Regardless of whether she ought to have cleaned up after her DD, and she probably should, it does sound to me as if you were being a bit snotty about it, handing her the dustpan and brush. Not getting down on her hands and knees immediately doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't intending to do it at all.

ThatArtfulPussy Tue 27-Nov-12 15:32:46

Well, if the baby was 30 weeks I would have said YABU. On the other hand, by 32 weeks then your friend would have BU.

At 31 weeks, I'm on the fence. Or seven months, as we normal people say. My vote for unreasonableness goes to whichever one of you is still keeping tabs on that one, with double unreasonableness if she has some kind of ticker going on to keep track.

akaemmafrost Tue 27-Nov-12 15:34:07

I would have done it myself seeing as she's a FRIEND!

YABU.

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 15:35:15

She was unreasonable not to offer to clean up.

You were unreasonable to hand her the dustpan and brush.

FeckOffCup Tue 27-Nov-12 15:35:20

Bartlet I would offer to clean up after my child but at the same time I think OP is being way too precious about this, it's perfectly possible to clean up a bit of food without getting it all over your clothes, it's part and parcel of having babies/young children around and I wouldn't stop contact with a friend over such a minor issue.

After I got the dustpan and brush out and said 'do you want these?' she said 'ooh yes, easier than wiping the floor with wetwipes' (which is what I presumed she was going to do as she'd used those to wipe down her high chair) and a few minutes passed plus a few more sips of tea and conversation but her DD was starting to crawl around in the food mess including pulling herself up on upholstered chairs and I was uncomfortable with that.

So on the day I really honestly thought there hadn't been an issue - I just did what I'd expect anybody else to do for me, facilitate the cleaning of mess made!

I offered her another hot cuppa for what it's worth :p

emblosion Tue 27-Nov-12 15:38:10

I'm on the fence too - i'd always clear up after ds or at least offer BUT agree with Kveta that mess is part & parcel of hosting. I think I'd clear up myself, only getting annoyed if it happened every single time...

ThatArtfulPussy She says 7 months, my DD is 9 weeks younger so I'm still on weeks and just add 9!!

emblosion Tue 27-Nov-12 15:40:41

Cross posted - agree the what euroshagmore said more eloquently ^

Tailtwister Tue 27-Nov-12 15:41:12

YANBU. When we went round to friends houses, I took a large plastic mat and was extremely careful nothing went onto their floor. Your friend should have done the same and certainly should have cleared up asap after the meal was over. Did she honestly expect you to go grovelling around on the floor cleaning up after her child?

I wouldn't feel the least bit bad OP. If your friend chooses to be offended then you're probably better off without her.

Kalisi Tue 27-Nov-12 15:41:51

Yanbu. I'd do the same. A little mess is fine but there's no way I'd leave a big mess at a friends house it's just rude.
I had a friend with a "sicky" baby. He always used to throw up everywhere at my house and my friend used to uselessy (?) just dab at the puddle with a baby wipe. If I saw it happen I would get a sponge and carpet cleaner and clean it properly but she never once offered to help. If I didn't spot it she wouldn't mention it and leave my house stinking of vomit. Although I had sympathy for her, it did get a bit much.

usualsuspect3 Tue 27-Nov-12 15:42:17

I would have just cleaned it up myself.

usualsuspect3 Tue 27-Nov-12 15:43:16

No fuss or drama.

I'm interested in what she'd have done if I'd had carpet!

sheeplikessleep Tue 27-Nov-12 15:44:50

Maybe you didn't give her enough time to offer.
Maybe she's embarrassed.

Crinkle77 Tue 27-Nov-12 15:48:56

putonyourredshoes if I went to a cafe and my child made a mess then I would try to make some effort to clean it up. I used to work in a cafe and the mess some parents would leave behind was unbelievable. Some would let their kids open sachets of sugar and tip it all over the table and never told them off cos it kept them quiet and then made no effort to clean it up.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 15:53:48

YANBU my friends dd wet herself in my bathroom and carried on sitting doen drinking her tea when I said shall I grab some knickers from dd and ended up cleaning it up! I wish I had handed her the mop and bucket instead of clearing up after her dd. still annoys me to this day

putonyourredshoes Tue 27-Nov-12 15:54:36

crinkle77 - I guess that is why loads of places are not child-friendly because they don't want the mess that goes with small children.

That's fine, but if I ran a cafe that wanted money from the harrassed parent market I would expect to be doing a hell of a lot of cleaning up.

Unless the parent is an absolute martyr (a common type of MN) then the best you can really hope for is a cursory swipe with a wet wipe.

HollaAtMeBaby Tue 27-Nov-12 16:00:09

YANBU. BLW is a different level of mess from normal toddler food mess! And your home is not a cafe - when you go to a cafe, you pay, and that covers somewhere clean to sit, what you eat, and someone else cleaning up after you - though I think that entails a responsibility not to make more mess than you can help.

OneMoreChap Tue 27-Nov-12 16:01:24

StuntGirl Tue 27-Nov-12 14:56:53
What the hell is blw?

I wondered, too.

Always cleaned up after mine, and hated it when visitors chuckled when their sprogs hurled food on the floor and didn't offer to clean it up.

One visitor got a cloth and bucket handed to her...

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 27-Nov-12 16:13:48

BLW =Baby Led Weaning

AKA give your child a banana and stand well back

PlantsDieArid Tue 27-Nov-12 16:22:21

Perhaps time has blunted my memory of early babyhood, but I remember going to my friends' houses with my baby for comradeship, laughs and support.

If my baby had thrown tomato-based food all over a cream sofa or carpet, I'd have been horribly embarrassed and offered to have them professionally cleaned.

But if I understand correctly, your friend cleaned your high chair after her baby had eaten. Then you handed her a brush & dustpan to use and asked 'do you want to use these?'

There was food all over your wooden floor. You asked your guest to clean it up, rather than do it yourself or even leave it until she'd gone and sweep it up then?

I feel mortified on her behalf. If I were her, I'd be horribly embarrassed; your behaviour sounds gauche at best and insulting at worst.

Yes, I think it was rude of you and I don't think you need worry as I can't imagine why she'd be contacting you again. You've got all the time in the world to make new friends whose housekeeping and priorities are more to your taste.

It's highly possible that your standards are worlds apart from mine, in which case sorry for any offence caused. You asked for opinions though...

Am I the only parent of a BLW baby who eats EVERYTHING?! There's only the odd grain of rice/pea on the floor here. Bananas are eaten in seconds with no mess.

But YANBU, a friend doesn't create more work for you.

WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 16:25:03

I didn't get past 31 weeks - still trying to work it out into something understandable !!!

Viviennemary Tue 27-Nov-12 16:25:49

She was cheeky to leave a mess. But I wouldn't ask a visitor to sweep up. But I don't think I'd been keen to invite them again if they made a huge mess and didn't at least offer to sweep up. Most people wouldn't let a baby chuck food around in somebody else's house.

pigletmania Tue 27-Nov-12 16:32:47

YANBU at all, she was very rude to not ask you, on suggestion that she cleaned it up did not, you are not her save, wiuld she do that in her own house? I wld not worry about her tbh

'But if I understand correctly, your friend cleaned your high chair after her baby had eaten. Then you handed her a brush & dustpan to use and asked 'do you want to use these?''

You misunderstood, she had brought her own high chair and cleaned the mess from that onto the floor.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 27-Nov-12 16:35:01

Ha ha ha, broccoli offers spectacular floor coverage. No yoghurt or anything sticky?

I wouldn't think of expecting to be able to feed dd out anywhere, certainly not without putting newspaper down or taking a plastic sheet with me.

But, while I see your point, I'd only be able to do this or accept this from a very close friend. I would have cleaned up myself and hoped for an offer of help. I might have commented on the spectacular effects of BLW.

WilsonFrickett Tue 27-Nov-12 16:35:37

It's just a bit of broccoli and a bit of tomato though, isn't it? what am I missing here?

OneMoreChap Tue 27-Nov-12 16:37:39

blondiedollface Tue 27-Nov-12 16:33:01
You misunderstood, she had brought her own high chair and cleaned the mess from that onto the floor.

!

I would have told her to FOTTOSOFATFOSM

Violet77 Tue 27-Nov-12 16:39:28

I always cleaned up at friends houses when blw but i don't think i would have given her a brush. ( seems a bit rude, agressive even)

Dogs are your best friend when blw :-)

Chill out a bit, you have probably made her feel very small. With children there are lots of occassions when they make mess or break things or hit one another. It cuts both ways and being a bit relaxed is a good thing.

threesocksmorgan Tue 27-Nov-12 16:42:57

yanbu she was rude

Theicingontop Tue 27-Nov-12 16:48:15

YABU, I would be absolutely mortified. Though I would (and always do) offer to clean up my DS' mess, it's really rude of you to pointedly hand her the dustpan. Friends don't do that.

MadBanners Tue 27-Nov-12 16:57:22

It was rude of her to not clean it up, but then I think it was equally rude of you to make her. I think! confused

If I was the homeowner, and they had not offered I would have done it and maybe thought them a touch rude, but if they had offered I would have refused and done it myself anyway! So the visitor would never have done it in either situation.

BeauNeidel Tue 27-Nov-12 17:00:38

YANBU about the mess.

YABU about using 31 weeks.

Molepomandmistletoe Tue 27-Nov-12 17:09:08

WTF?

WTF what?

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Tue 27-Nov-12 19:47:50

YWNBU. Crumb trails and the odd raisin are par for the course but I wouldn't dream of not clearing up after my DC if they made a mess at someone else's house. And yes I do clean up after DS in restaurants, why wouldn't I? confused

Tryharder Tue 27-Nov-12 19:53:20

She should have offered to clean up the mess. But you were unspeakably rude to give her the dustpan and brush. Talk about passive-aggressive.

cumfy Tue 27-Nov-12 20:12:31

So you're well rid then.smile

You're right she should have offered but you do come across as being a bit PA:
Why not offer the dust pan whilst she's just finishing off the wiping ?

Decoding her response:
Well thanks but you could have offered me the dustpan earlier --- couldn't you ?

hurricanewyn Tue 27-Nov-12 20:17:12

D'you know what? I'd have been fine about cleaning the baby mess up until the point where Friend used your floor as a dustbin and swept the food onto the floor from her highchair. The cheek of her.

YANBU

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