to think this was a little rude/insensitive

(55 Posts)
leic30 Mon 26-Nov-12 10:32:19

So I am 8 weeks post giving birth. I posted on facebook that I was pleased to be back in my jeans after months of maternity dresses/tracksuit bottoms. One friend replied
"I am back in mine after months of hotpants and bikinis." She does work in the med.
Probably reading too much into this and it was just a witty joke.

cheesesavory Mon 26-Nov-12 10:33:55

Um yes I think you are being over sensitive. I can't think of anything I would take offence with in her statement, other than I would bf jealous she works in the med!

ObiWan Mon 26-Nov-12 10:34:55

What your friend said does not sound rude or insensitive, and I am honestly baffled as to how you can see anything like that in it at all.

redskyatnight Mon 26-Nov-12 10:34:59

Er yes, it was a joke! I can't even see how it could upset you tbh.

chocoluvva Mon 26-Nov-12 10:35:46

Your friend is boasting - don't give it a second thought.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 10:36:06

I don't see what was rude about it. You were telling everyone you'd lost all your baby weight in 8 weeks, hardly a topic that would have most people think they need to walk on eggshells

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 26-Nov-12 10:38:10

I don't see how that's rude?

Sounds like she's referring to wearing hotpants and bikinis all summer and now having to wear jeans to me.

CalamityJones Mon 26-Nov-12 10:38:59

How did you manage to make that seem rude or insensitive?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 10:41:22

And insensitive to what exactly?

Fairylea Mon 26-Nov-12 10:41:49

Eh ??!! Confused !

What's offensive about that ? She's just making a joke.

Ihatemytoes Mon 26-Nov-12 10:50:21

You sound like hard work....

manticlimactic Mon 26-Nov-12 10:52:24

Where does she live? Hot pants and bikinis in the summer...in the UK, THIS year?? shock

You're been a bit sensitive.

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 10:52:53

Jeez

What you posted was a fact and what she posted was a fact

What exactly is the problem?

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 10:53:26

mant she works in the Med

MrsBungleBear Mon 26-Nov-12 10:53:51

I don't think your friends post was rude or insensitive confused

squeakytoy Mon 26-Nov-12 10:56:09

confused erm, YABU..

manticlimactic Mon 26-Nov-12 10:56:18

Thanks worra I must have skipped that nugget of info [bush]

manticlimactic Mon 26-Nov-12 10:56:53

or even blush see how cold I am.

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Mon 26-Nov-12 10:56:58

It seems like it was a joke, maybe with a bit of stealth boasting added, but still just a joke.

Trills Mon 26-Nov-12 10:59:00

What's rude?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 11:00:19

Did the OP develop an allergy to sunlight whilst pregnant, so hasn't been in the sun since summer 2011?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Mon 26-Nov-12 11:02:01

Your friend sounds amusing. You were boasting and might have upset others.

RobinSparkles Mon 26-Nov-12 11:02:36

You're being daft!

Your friend was having a little boast about usually fitting into hot pants and bikinis but to be fair so were you!
My response to your friend would be something along the lines of:
"Ha ha, I'll be rocking my hot pants soon ;) and I'm sure you'll be back in yours as soon as your baby arrives."

leic30 Mon 26-Nov-12 11:03:13

Think stealth boast hits nail on the head.
Bearing in mind weather much better in med and she still has the figure for hotpants and bikinis which after 4 dc I do not.
Granted I am proud to be back in my jeans but would love them to be a size or two smaller.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 11:04:25

But you were boasting first...

CheungFun Mon 26-Nov-12 11:05:23

I don't think she was being rude or insensitive tbh. I guess at a stretch maybe she could have said well done to you...?

Agree with another poster, you could have upset someone else...I'm 11 months past giving birth and I still can't get into my favourite jeans! Not saying you've offended me btw...

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 11:05:28

Mant I have no desire to see your bush shock grin

Being pleased at being able to wear jeans again after being pregnant is not a boast

Why do people see something so normal as boasting?

If she'd said she was pleased to be able to wear her strappy sandals now her feet are no longer swollen, would that be seen as boastful too?

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Mon 26-Nov-12 11:07:26

Hahaha at [bush]

That would be an interesting emoticon!

RobinSparkles Mon 26-Nov-12 11:08:04

I think I've read the OP wrong. I assumed that the "friend" meant that she is back in Maternity clothes due to being pg and now doesn't fit in her hot pants.

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 11:08:25

Bearing in mind weather much better in med and she still has the figure for hotpants and bikinis which after 4 dc I do not
Granted I am proud to be back in my jeans but would love them to be a size or two smaller

But none of that is her problem is it?

If we all had to stop and think about other people's private potential problems before we spoke, no-one would say anything at all.

We'd all be too worn out.

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Mon 26-Nov-12 11:08:34

Cheung I'm 5 years post birth and still haven't got back into my old jeans grin

I still would have congratulated you though leic.

leic30 Mon 26-Nov-12 11:09:30

Actually it wasn't meant to be a boast about how much weight I had lost as I am still overweight and know it.
It was more about being able to swap baggy clothes as my csection had healed sufficiently.
Maybe though this wasn't clear from my post.

Cahooots Mon 26-Nov-12 11:10:15

Yes you are being over sensitive. Maybe she thought you sounded boastful and was teasing you because of it.

Congrats on the baby flowers

GrumpyCynicalBastard Mon 26-Nov-12 11:10:18

Blimey. I've lost the will to live just thinking about your perceived offence at a throwaway non-offensive comment. How do the people around you cope?

wigglesrock Mon 26-Nov-12 11:11:05

Well, by the same token do you feel you were a little rude and insensitive to people reading your facebook page/status/thingy who weren't in their jeans 8 weeks after giving birth?

gordyslovesheep Mon 26-Nov-12 11:11:59

I think manti was being rude showing us her bush ...I think yabu

CheungFun Mon 26-Nov-12 11:12:30

headfirst - I've got grand plans for January 13 which include going back to work and joining some sort of excercise class! I don't snack at work as I always end up trying to answer my emails before the end of the day and rushing! Also I'll have to walk more to drop DS off at nursery so I'm hoping it will all add up! 1 stone to go smile

Sorry for going off topic (slightly :0)

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 11:13:45

Well, by the same token do you feel you were a little rude and insensitive to people reading your facebook page/status/thingy who weren't in their jeans 8 weeks after giving birth?

Why would that be rude or insensitive?

The OP isn't responsible for other people's bodies confused

leic30 Mon 26-Nov-12 11:14:29

Also I do normally lose weight post birth. My last 2 pregnancies (1 twin) resulted in me weighing less at end than at start. Sadly I find it hard to maintain this and end up regaining in after I stop breastfeeding. This time is going to be different.

wigglesrock Mon 26-Nov-12 11:15:51

WorraLiberty that's my point exactly. She made a comment about clothes as did her friend, why would any of it be insensitive hmm

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 11:16:05

I think mant was being rude and insensitive to bushless people

WorraLiberty Mon 26-Nov-12 11:16:58

Ahh gotcha wiggles grin

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Mon 26-Nov-12 11:18:25

Yes mant, not everyone has such a proud [bush] to boast about, be more sensitive grin

JustFabulous Mon 26-Nov-12 11:20:15

I think you are seeing things that aren't there as you haven't snapped back to smaller than pre-pregnancy. Not rude. Not insensitive. Just chatty.

notso Mon 26-Nov-12 11:27:37

Brag not lest ye be bragged (to) spring to mind.

leic30 Mon 26-Nov-12 11:32:12

"Actually it wasn't meant to be a boast about how much weight I had lost as I am still overweight and know it.
It was more about being able to swap baggy clothes as my csection had healed sufficiently.
Maybe though this wasn't clear from my post."

Didn't post it as a boast though although maybe it came across that way.

honeytea Mon 26-Nov-12 11:37:28

Your friend was boasting but you were also boasting.

My policy when it comes to facebook updates is that they should be either funny or interesting. Pasting about your jeans is neither funny nor interesting.

leic30 Mon 26-Nov-12 11:52:12

cheung wasn't out looking for well done either as it wasn't about weight. A like and the comment would have felt totally ok in my post birth hormonal brain.
Now realise though how it could be misinterpreted.
Although another friend post a few month ago about getting back into her super skinny jeans. I was only too happy to like the comment.

FestiveDigestive Mon 26-Nov-12 12:46:43

I've seen a couple of Facebook updates with people saying they are back into their old jeans a short time after giving birth. It always makes me cringe a little bit. In the same way that bikini photos (as a profile pic) make me cringe for the person. That's just Facebook though.

atacareercrossroads Mon 26-Nov-12 13:35:08

soooooo you boasted, she boasted back, and you've got the hump? confused

<hopes OP doesnt read too much into use of the word 'hump'>

EuroShagmore Mon 26-Nov-12 21:19:19

Maybe OP you were insensitive to all the people on your feed who haven't lost their baby weight? Did you think of that before you posted, eh?

somedayma Mon 26-Nov-12 21:29:53

confused heaven help people who have to deal with you in real life

It was banter - no more no less. When I lived in Cyprus I used to post that socks felt funny in winter after not wearing them for months. Tis the same thing.

You posted about being back in jeans, she posted about being back in jeans. It was a funny. Not a dig, and definitely not insensitive.

apostropheuse Mon 26-Nov-12 22:19:50

YABU

I can't see anything wrong with what she said. You're a wee bit over-sensitive.

ShiftyFades Mon 26-Nov-12 22:21:54

I think she was just being funny. She's back from the med and is freezing so has to wear jeans. I can't see any boasting in that at all. Nor can I see anything rude.
Yabu to think it was anything other than a funny reply.

Congratulations on the new baby grin

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