To have a whinge about money

(53 Posts)

We're skint and its not looking likely that ill get anything this year for christmas or my birthday.
Normally I'm not that bothered as I get bits for myself year round but this year every penny has gone on dc - rightly so but I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. My roots are down to my ears, my split ends are insane, I'm using teenage dds make up as mine has all gone blush and I recently dropped a dress size which was great but now all my jeans are too big and I can't afford to replace.

Oh and the screen is cracked to death on my phone.

I am very grateful for everything I have and I know there are millions worse off...

Tell me iabu but I needed a bit of a moan. Sorry. Thanks. Feel free to join in shameless moaning.

McChristmasPants2012 Sun 25-Nov-12 23:46:41

feel free and i hope someone comes along to offer advice

NervousAt20 Sun 25-Nov-12 23:47:45

sad no you aren't BU. could you not maybe buy a cheap home hair dye kit that you could put in yourself? That might help make you feel abit better

Madlizzy Sun 25-Nov-12 23:50:22

I hear you. I'm not sure how we are going to buy presents for the miss this year.

BackforGood Sun 25-Nov-12 23:52:43

Of course YANBU. I think we all need to have a bit of a moan every now and them. Good for the sole.

bedmonster Sun 25-Nov-12 23:52:52

YANBU sad but echo nervous, could you afford a DIY job for your hair? Might lift your spirits a little. Even if it means a treat less for the DC, sometimes you need to put yourself first.
And congrats on the weightloss!! (if you were trying that is, not just if it's because food has been tight sad)

No I do dye my hair myself but can't justify £6 when I'm struggling with dinner money sad
It's that bad.
We used to be ok but we got into debt when DH went a bit depressed a few years ago following a bereavement. Now we're paying it off but it leaves is with nothing else.

Ill use some of my cb to buy a hair dye this week I think. A birthday treat. Jeez that's sad!!!

bedmonster Mon 26-Nov-12 00:00:02

Sorry to hear that, I hope things improve for you soon. And have you had a look at some of the threads on here offering stuff? People are being very generous and you might be able to pick something up for the DC to lighten the burden a little.

McChristmasPants2012 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:00:44

i belive that a happy mum makes a happy child.

just off on my drunken head, but have you compared energy prices to see if you are getting the best price, have you phoned the debt company and explained you are struggling. Have you been to the CAB to get some advice how to manage this better.

Fiendishlie Mon 26-Nov-12 00:01:29

I get my hair dye in the 99p store. And it's very good, too, I wouldn't settle for cheap if it wasn't any good.

Thanks all for being lovely. I've done well for the little ones with second hand sites.
Teenagers will be fine as we have something put aside for them. It's just us!
I'm a student so this time next year I will hopefully have a degree and a job! Maybe ill be even getting malt hair done at a salon smile

Aspiemum2 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:06:36

Are you on a dmp? It's worth checking your debt repayment arrangements to see you are being left enough to live on.

Local colleges can be good for hair, they are very cheap and it sounds like you deserve that one special treat.

McChristmasPants2012 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:07:14

you could alway be a model and have your hair done for free, local salons normally offer these.

Since struggling myself, i have had my hair done for free in tony and guy smile it was by an appentice who are desperate for experience

Thanks mcChristmas. DH handles the money (leave the bastard? smile)
So ill get him to have a look at energy prices.

I hate this. I blame FB for my misery. Everyone seems to be our partying and Christmas shopping and I'm sitting freezing because the hearing is temperamental!

The dc are happy enough. The teens know we are struggling but I think it's good for them in a way to understand the value of money. They are lovely children and very grateful for what we have so they make me happy.

Actually my dc make me very happy. I'm going to wake up on my birthday and just enjoy them. I think my frame if mind tonight is very negative which isn't me at all normally. I have healthy dc and a lovely family.


And yes maybe I'll offer up my hair to the local comp and blame you when it goes orange

SkipTheLightFanjango Mon 26-Nov-12 00:10:57

I embraced natural hair colour recently as hair dye is too much to pay for. It's not so bad really. I dropped 2 sizes..real pain for clothes but charity shops came to my rescue, jeans for £1.99?? What's to complain about?
For me thew broken back door and toilet we can't flush are more of an issue. Hey ho..we'll all gwt there in the end.

McChristmasPants2012 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:11:51

they have the tutor watching over smile

cloggs142 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:12:08

i dont know if this will be any good......but if u really trawl around on the net a bit, you can get free samples of alot of make up and hair dye....not great i know but may give u a little boost!!! Also try some swap sites for clothes.....i did that after i lost some of my baby weight....swapped 2 pairs of jeans.....worn condition, for another 2 jeans, 3 tops and a skirt!!! always a bargain to be had smile i know its crap, been there. My partner is doing 70 hours a week and its still hard......but whoever said about energy prices too....give it a go. i saved so much money when i switched. oh god i sound like an advert!! hahaha

NatashaBee Mon 26-Nov-12 00:14:25

Hairdressing training colleges are great - don't be scared! The tutors check everything before the students start, and the students do what you ask instead of what they think is best unlike most hairdressers.

Skip smile I'm definitely considering going dark again but it's the inbetweeny phase. My hair is quite long. I've also developed adult acne which I've never had in my life!! Way to kick someone when they're down!

I know lots of people are in the same boat. It's reassuring although I wish none of us were iykwim.

Thanks so much for the replies. I fully expected to be told to eff off with my misery when there are starving children in Africa. I never create posts on here as I'm scared not sure how ill cone across but I do reply a lot!


McChristmasPants2012 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:23:43

perhaps get your hair dyed closer to the colour to your roots

sad It sucks, doesn't it? Nothing but thanks / wine / brew and sympathy from me!

Money just seems to be getting tighter and tighter. Car repairs, petrol, food bills, everything...I take all the overtime I can get, but we still struggle.

DP and I don't usually give each other Christmas/birthday presents-the DC take priority, and even then we don't go crazy.

I cut my own hair the other day following a YouTube tutorial-it isn't too bad and saved me money, I will do it again in future.

FB gets me down sometimes too-seeing other people's lavish weddings, fab holidays, new houses-I'm not exactly jealous, but it does make me question my life choices and compare myself to others. But that said, few people actually post the crappy stuff that is happening in their lives on FB, so it gives a very skewed image. Best not to look really smile

liptherapy Mon 26-Nov-12 01:19:12

Agree with McChristmasPants' suggestion - contact the debt company and also debt advice charities to see what you can arrange. You should have enough left after paying your debts for a reasonable standard of living - if your debt repayments are too high for that, then you can arrange for them to be reduced. It really is worth discussing your options. Stepchange or National Debtline are two charities I'd recommend speaking to - both have online support where you can enter your debt details and see what sort of solution is recommended.

I was really struggling to pay a third of my income into debt repayments, but have had them written off now as my income was deemed too low to be able to sustain them. So it's been really worthwhile for me to seek help. My credit rating is shot to pieces, but I actually have more disposable income now than I've had for years.

youngermother1 Mon 26-Nov-12 01:20:16

Realise most of these people are building up debt. You are paying off. It will getr better. Lots of unmumnetty hugs

decktheballs Mon 26-Nov-12 01:33:45

Ummo can I be cheeky and ask what size you are now? I have jeans in a cupboard I planned to slim into but forgot about. If they'd be any good to you you'd be welcome to them.

WelshMaenad Mon 26-Nov-12 02:37:17

What deckthehalls said, I have new clothes sitting in my wardrobe unloved!

cozietoesie Mon 26-Nov-12 07:17:48

Have you considered going short-haired, Umm ? I bought a cut-it-yourself thingie from Asda and it's worked really well. Saved scads of money on the hairdresser - and they weren't that expensive to start off with.

Sokmonsta Mon 26-Nov-12 07:25:11

Have you got loyalty cards for places like boots and Superdrug for when you can afford to buy hair dye/makeup? I find when I'm absolutely skint I've usually got enough points then to get about of makeup. I know how you feel though. When you've got nothing that fits and can't even feel like you look good, everything else is magnified. What make-up do you normally use? I don't mind popping a little birthday treat in the post for you.

MyGoldenNotebook Mon 26-Nov-12 07:28:24

Sorry to hear things are difficult at the moment. What colour do you dye your hair? I have a chocolate brown kit (brand new) that I don't want. I could send it to you.

DownTheRabidHole Mon 26-Nov-12 07:39:10

I got myself in a pickle throwing all my money at debts and my therapist put me straight. He explained that I didn't need to be a martyr to the cause - worlds will not tumble if you give a tenner less next month and buy hair-dye and hippy instead.

Don't take the money from the food budget, take it from the creditcard payment budget.

If you say there's no flexibility with payments and that you're struggling this hard and only making minimum payments then you need to restructure your debt or consider going bankrupt.

Getting in debt doesn't mean you need to put yourself in the gulags, nobody is going to chip into your headstone "numpty with cash in 2009"!

Awwww thanks smile
You nasty nest of vipers you!!
Am an awkward size in that I'm a 14 but 6ft so need at least 33' leg length. I tend to live in leggings and long tops (hides from style & beauty).

Getting debt management is something I may look into. DH is very reluctant due to his job. Don't want to out myself but he's in the financial sector and would lose his job if we ever went bankrupt so he's wary of going down that route. He thinks we can manage but he's at bloody work 12 hours a day! I appreciate that's hard but I'm the one who has to scrabble around for loose change so teens can get the bus to school or get lunch. His solution is to say it will get better soon. It will get better soon! We will have paid off 2 things in April and like I said, I graduate (finally) in the Summer so can get a decent job if I can find one!!

It's just difficult in the interim.

Sorry to hear others are struggling. My dear friend who I was whinging to yesterday has offered me a hair dye she had lying around so ill get that tonight and at least will feel human again!!

And down - thanks for that pov. It's a very good way of looking at it. You are absolutely right.
I give not a shit about our credit rating. I'm never getting credit again! Will sit down and speak to DH tonight.

brighthair Mon 26-Nov-12 09:42:19

OP - I might have some suitable stuff that I would be getting rid of anyway..
I know I have a pair of jeans size 14 Tall topshop that are doing nothing.
Would you let me post you something? Think of it as a Secret Santa

I'll join you moaning. For the first time ever I have had to buy some second hand charity shop toys for the kids. There's nothing wrong with them and I'm sure they won't notice but I still feel ashamed! I'm constantly worrying about christmas! I've been buying second hand boxless DS games for the older boys off amazon (75% cheaper), and I may have to go to the pound shop to buy stuff for other relatives! I've never been like this! I don't drink (regularly/buy it myself) or smoke so money doesn't go there. I don't buy clothes for myself ever! Everything has gone up! I hope things get better next year for everyone!

Bright hair you'll make me cry!! It's my birthday today and I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself watching mr Tumble smile
I didn't post wanting anything at all! But I'm not in the position to say no so thank you so much.

sad Sami. I think the pound shop is the new place to be! Ours is always heaving and I know I love going unknowing I can actually afford anything in there smile
I've got some amazing things second hand. Even shoes which I would never do normally but it's been fine. Dds 3 and 4 are less than a year apart so poor dd4 just gets hand me downs on everything! But I did that when I wasn't skint!

brighthair Mon 26-Nov-12 09:55:51

Well happy birthday! I also have some Next leggings 3/4 length size 14 with tags. So PM me your address and I will send you some stuff and that's an instruction!

blush flowers am actually overwhelmed.
I can't pm you. Your name isn't clickable? Or am I being an idiot?

If anyone is a size 18 tall I can offer some next jeans!

hermioneweasley Mon 26-Nov-12 10:01:40

Hi Umm. Sorry to hear things are tight at the moment - it's shit isn't it? At least you know it is through a positive choice that you are making an investment in your future and it will get better as soon as April.

I don't know if they already do, but could the teenagers get jobs? anything you could do part time to earn some cash - even taking in some ironing could get you £20/week.

Also, you do need to care about your credit rating - assuming you don't own your house outright it will impact on mortgage cost/ renting.

brighthair Mon 26-Nov-12 10:02:06

I think I've changed it <dim moment> grin

Nope still not clickable wine

DS is applying for jobs but nothing so far. Dd1 is only 14 so it's harder for her. We have a hefty mortgage. I do obv care a bit about credit rating but were not planning on changing anything so in the short term I wouldn't mind as much if it meant we had more disposable income.

brighthair Mon 26-Nov-12 10:09:51

sad I think I broke it. If I PM you then you can reply?

therewearethen Mon 26-Nov-12 10:27:44

Not sure if anyone's already mentioned this but I can't speak highly enough of the help I've had from national debt line. Obviously I don't want to say too much on here but I wrote my debt off, I think my situation is different to yours in that I don't/can't get a mortgage but they can still give you independent FREE advice based on your personal situation.
Even if you didn't want to speak to anyone you can still contact your creditors and arrange to pay them a little less each month, include an income and outgoing sheet, in my experience they prefer to accept something than nothing at all.

It's a freephone number to. Good luck OP.

Thanks there. I'll have a look at the 'moneysteps' thing with DH.
You've all been so helpful.

Purple2012 Mon 26-Nov-12 11:19:13

Have you looked on money saving expert for tips? We have just changed our bank accounts to halifax and got £100 for switching. This is on until 2nd dec. The terms are you must pay in a salary of at least £1,000 an month and have at least 2 direct debits. You also get £5 if you dont go overdrawn. We opened our own accounts and a joint account. We pay £10 a month for the joint account which is offset by the £5 a month each that we get from our own accounts, and then we get free mobile insurance, travel insurance and breakdown cover, along with a couple of others. I have worked out it saves over £500 a year for us.

Theres loads of tips on moneysavingexpert that could help if that isnt for you. They tell you the best banks/energy companies etc. It is a pain switching things but sometimes a little bit of hassle saves you lots of money.

Hope you get things sorted.

Sokmonsta Mon 26-Nov-12 11:36:06

Oh poundland and 99p stores are great. I get my refills for soap from there (saving £2) and the poundland drain unblocker is great. Big bottle and I can buy 4 times as much as blooming mr muscle.

MissMogwi Mon 26-Nov-12 11:53:17

OP could you apply for the Access to Learning fund at your university?

Final year, mature and parent students are amongst the priority groups for this fund. Might be worth speaking to them?

Missmowgli, I will look into that now actually. The fact is, my uni is a fair drive away and costs me about £10 in petrol per journey so I'm finding myself skipping lectures to save money (or simply because my red light is on). This upsets me more than anything because I love my degree and it means a lot that I do well. So yes, I will ask them. No harm in it I suppose!

WholeLottaRosie Mon 26-Nov-12 12:36:49

You don't have to have a clickable name to pm, just look at the blue bar on each post and on the far right it should say 'message poster'.

Something we've done to earn a few extra quid is to set up an extra email account and use it to enter competitions online. We've won some really bizarre things but then sell them on eBay. Setting up the email account means you don't get spammed to death on your normal one.

Rudolphstolemycarrots Mon 26-Nov-12 12:43:07

Can you get your hair done cheaply at your local college? Usually they have training beauty therapists and hairdressers.

Sainsburies for jeans?

Sorry OP I came across a bit moany there! I will go to poundland because there's amazing stuff there! It's great cos I can spend a tenner and it looks like the kids have loads of presents! On the plus side the second hand toys and games I've actually saved about 70 pounds, and they don't have any packaging either!

My favorite thing at the moment from the 99p stores is 5 litres of washing up liquid.

I will however maintain the tradition of being drunk in charge of a christmas dinner! Lol! [Wine]

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