Online gaming

(70 Posts)
OpheliaPayneAgain Sun 25-Nov-12 13:18:08

(Yes this is leading on from a comment made in another forum)

Dunno what I'm BU about though. Ok, AIBU to think that it's all a bit juvenile to be blatting imaginary people on Black Ops or Warcraft?

I don't know any 40yo who xboxes or online games - do I lead a sheltered life or just mix predominatly with adults? All I know is - they are out there, with an inability to sustain a RL relationship. Apparently.

PhallicGiraffe Sun 25-Nov-12 13:31:35

YABU. People can do what they want in their spare time, there are lots of different hobbies. One hobby is not any less valid than another. If its done in moderation and makes you happy, what is the problem.

No doubt you have got some some hobbies that other people find boring too.

kinkyfuckery Sun 25-Nov-12 13:34:34

Some would think it somewhat juvenile to speak to strangers on the internet.

As long as it's harmless, what's the harm?

LavenderPots Sun 25-Nov-12 13:34:47

but some of these games ou play against real people else where in the world - people use it as stress reliever etc...something to do when only rubbish on tv perhaps? it does not make them unable to have RL relationships??

onetiredmummy Sun 25-Nov-12 13:38:20

(Yes this is leading on from a comment made in another forum)

wtf, why have you brought it over here if you can debate it in another forum, I don't see the point?

40 year olds weren't brought up with these types of games so I guess they do other things to relax instead. I don't think its juvenile, I think its a method of relaxation (not one that I would choose) but that does not make it juvenile.

You sound delightful.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 25-Nov-12 13:39:30


What do you do for stress relief?

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 25-Nov-12 13:44:31

YABU and a hypocrite as you chat to strangers online to.

Naoko Sun 25-Nov-12 13:45:16

DP and I are gamers. We play online games, often together. We're both adults, thank you very much, and have been sustaining our relationship future nearly 9 years now, in addition to having many dear friends, both in real life and online, as well as family we get on with.

It is a way to spend free time like any other. I play games in the evening. Some people watch TV or play golf or do embroidery. Why is gaming juvenile?

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 25-Nov-12 13:50:13

I think it's only an issue when it takes over your life same as any hobby.

DH is 48, I am 53. We play Lord of the Rings Online (and have previously played WoW, D&D, Star Trek and a few others). We're far from the only people of our age to do this.We played tabletop AD&D years back, the online games are just a extension of that. We've been gamers since the 70s smile

We also have a RL, are happily married, other hobbies (fishing, photography, home brewing) and have even been known to go to the pub on occasion. :P

OpheliaPayneAgain Sun 25-Nov-12 13:54:26

I don't kill people online though, therein lays the difference.

Oh well horses for courses as they say.

YABU. DP and I aren't huge online players but for both of us it's a good way to switch off. I'd rather ply games than watch TV!

Naoko Sun 25-Nov-12 13:56:08

Nor do I. It's a game. No one actually dies.

RubberDuck Sun 25-Nov-12 13:56:48

I'm a gamer, I'm 38. I don't watch much TV and prefer games that have an in-depth story - I far prefer being a part of/have control of the story rather than sitting passively watching one.

Plus, for around £30 I get over 30 hours of entertainment - probably the best value entertainment you can get, especially when you start looking at the costs of a Sky subscription or buying DVDs/books!

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Sun 25-Nov-12 13:58:34

I find much joy in online gaming. Being stuck at home a lot due to being disabled and also a single parent to a behaviourally challenging child, it's a lovely release to go explore an online world like WoW and meet and interact with people. It was as much a community in my guild as you find here on Mumsnet and I dislike being told I am childish or not grown up because I enjoyed that.


Do you watch TV? Read? If you are going to take it so literally then you get pleasure from reading about/watching others suffering.

Except we both know that isn't the case. Same as fighting in video games isn't the same as getting pleasure from killing.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 25-Nov-12 13:59:15


DH and I used to game online. We haven't since we had the DCs, because there just isn't enough time. I'm sure we will again once we are out of the toddler/preschool phase.

We have a relationship hmm

"All I know is - they are out there, with an inability to sustain a RL relationship."

Shit, I best tell DH that we don't have a real life relationship. And my son. And my friends. And my family. Maybe too much gaming has made me imagine them all? Christ, you'd have thought I'd have imagined myself a quieter, less pooey baby wouldn't you?

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Sun 25-Nov-12 14:06:45

Best not mention here then that my DD is the result of a relationship that started in an online game, and eventually became real life then. Do you think that means she is not a RL DD? Feels real enough to me.

True enough that I can't seem to sustain a RL relationship though, but that's more to do with my own health making having a physical relationship very difficult, and me feeling like a burden and not wanting to commit to any relationship.

Timeforabiscuit Sun 25-Nov-12 14:12:29


I think your looking at a fairly dated stereotype of what a "gamer" represents.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 25-Nov-12 14:20:34

Almost no one I know in real life knows I play online games. Trust me, if you're the sort who clutches her pearls at the mention of such things, I'd have sensed it and not mentioned it. You probably do know people who game, they've just never said anything about it.

I don't understand how people can watch shite like the X Factor or Strictly, much less feel involved enough to pay to vote. Half my FB list goes on about those programmes when they're on, as if they have some personal stake in what happens. I don't lecture them on their use of their free time; they enjoy it, good for them.


BoneyBackJefferson Sun 25-Nov-12 14:20:37

"I don't kill people online though, therein lays the difference."

To my knowledge I haven't killed anyone but then I have never tried to undermine someones choice on the internet.

Tabu. I played wow for a couple of years and I have a family. It was a release at the end of the day to turn on a fantasy world and lose myself in it for a few hours once the kids had gone to bed and the housework was done. Much better than sitting slack jawed at the telly!

Tabu not tabu

Oh for fucks sake Yabu

As a thread hijack, has anyone played The Old Republic? It's free to play soon, would love a MN guild on there!

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 25-Nov-12 14:30:40

I did for a while, yep. Stopped after hitting max level as the storyline, which had been awesome up til then, really hit a wall.

So I do own it. Would totally play again if there were a group going. grin

StormyBrid Sun 25-Nov-12 14:32:52

Yes, you lead a sheltered life. All the men in their forties that I know play online games. Some of them have jobs, some of them have kids, some of them are married, all of them have responsibilities and lives, and all of them like to unwind with a bit of mindless shooting people.

If anything's a bit juvenile, it's thinking less of people for how they choose to spend their leisure time when it's all perfectly legal and not hurting anyone.

It's definitely more fun to play as a group, I've been teaming up with DH. Looks pretty replayable too! I suspect I'll max out my Sith Inquisitor and then move onto a Jedi Consular for a bit of contrast.

Just looked at their site, it's free to play now grin

Does look like you need to subscribe to be in a guild, but we could always just add as friends and then group when we see each other online?

CaptainBarnaclesDaddyman Sun 25-Nov-12 14:39:39

My dad's 58. He's got the biggest collection of PS3 games outside of!

RugBugs Sun 25-Nov-12 14:52:18

I've played wow on and off since it was first out and I most definately have a life!
There are lots of interesting people playing wow that I've met, the manager of a London wagamamas and the model son of a famous bassist, plenty of european students too! We used to meet up quite often across Europe, we've been to Dublin and had people over from NL.

I played SWToR for a bit too (and rift ha!) then MoP came out and I was lured back to wow grin

Scrap my last message, we can join guilds. Will have to look into whether we can start guilds.

Come back over to the dark side RugBugs!! grin

Latonia Sun 25-Nov-12 15:05:46

YABU, I'm in my 60s and play World of Warcraft (WoW) and have friends in the game aged from 19 to 73. Because I'm disabled going out is difficult and I would much rather be playing WoW, laughing and chatting with friends than slumped in front of the TV.

Some of my RL friends are convinced that anyone I meet online is bound to be an axe murderer ha ha.

RugBugs Sun 25-Nov-12 15:13:30

I did quite like SWToR but I joined later than all my wow guildies (who were on beta and got the week before launch to lvl) so got stuck on another server which sucked.
I still can't work out how to create characters on more than the three EN RP/PVE/PVP servers it comes up with or I'd readily join a MN guild!

Dead69Girl Sun 25-Nov-12 15:18:54

YABU and a bit of a twit!

RubberDuck Sun 25-Nov-12 15:23:08

Actually, one of our biggest social get togethers of the year is when we meet up with our old gaming guild (I don't tend to play multiplayer anymore and DH's job means he has less time now too, but we still keep up with the people/social side of gaming).

It always amazes me what a broad cross-section of people we are who just happen to have a shared interest in games. It also amazes me how well we all get on with each other, despite (in some cases) massive life differences. It's a great community.

Just goes to show how stupid the gaming stereotypes are, really.

MadameCreeper Sun 25-Nov-12 15:24:33

Is this a zombie thread? Clearly the OP was posted in the late 90's.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 25-Nov-12 15:26:41


Perhaps if you got a hobby of your own,you would be less bothered by other people's? biscuit

degutastic Sun 25-Nov-12 15:28:51

Some of the most balanced, responsible people I know are into gaming.

RumbleGreen Sun 25-Nov-12 15:31:45

The average age of gamers is like 30years old make of that what you will

RumbleGreen Sun 25-Nov-12 15:33:00

Sorry current average is 37

RubberDuck Sun 25-Nov-12 15:36:15

The average gamer is 30 years old and has been playing for 12 years. Sixty-eight percent of gamers are 18 years of age or older.

Forty-seven percent of all players are women, and women over 18 years of age are one of the industry's fastest growing demographics.

Today, adult women represent a greater portion of the game-playing population (30 percent) than boys age 17 or younger (18 percent).

Sixty-two percent of gamers play games with others, either in-person or online. Seventy-eight percent of these gamers play with others at least one hour per week.

Thirty-three percent of gamers play social games.

Gamers play on-the-go: 33 percent play games on their smartphones, and 25 percent play on their handheld device.

Ninety percent of the time parents are present when games are purchased or rented. Ninety-eight percent of parents feel the Entertainment Software Rating Board rating system is helpful in choosing games for their children. Seventy-three percent of parents believe that the parental controls available in all new video game consoles are useful.

Parents also see several benefits of entertainment software, with 52 percent saying video games are a positive part of their child’s life. Sixty-six percent of parents believe that game play provides mental stimulation or education, 61 percent believe games encourage their family to spend to time together, and 59 percent believe that game play helps their children connect with their friends.

ZeldaUpNorth Sun 25-Nov-12 15:39:52

My dp is 32 and plays his games (fifa or cod) from 7pm when kids go to bed until 3am ish non-stop. Tbh i find it pretty sad and yes it does have an impact on our relationship as he's coming to bed as i'm about to get up (at 6) so no quality time together. Some days it bothers me more than others but i'm pretty used to it now and just watch tv in bed/read.
What bugs me the most is he's got these noise cancelling headphones so he could not hear me shouting if there was an emergency. angry

RubberDuck Sun 25-Nov-12 15:48:29

I just asked dh if my gaming habits damaged our relationship. DH: "no, but I do think if you watched non-stop soap operas every evening that would damage our relationship." grin

TheCatIsEatingIt Sun 25-Nov-12 17:18:31

DH is 40. He plays on his Xbox from time to time, mostly fantasy/adventure or racing games rather than killing games. He also goes to work, watches films and TV, reads books, designs websites, sees friends and plays sports. As part of a healthy balanced life, I see nothing wrong with it.

"My dp is 32 and plays his games (fifa or cod) from 7pm when kids go to bed until 3am ish non-stop. Tbh i find it pretty sad and yes it does have an impact on our relationship as he's coming to bed as i'm about to get up"

I suspect in that case if it wasn't games it'd be something else unfortunately.

Gaming doesn't create selfish people, it's just one outlet for the selfishness.


Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 25-Nov-12 17:45:07

Zelda that is a different situation IMO. He is behaving selfishly, incredibly so. Doesn't he have work to get up for in the mornings? When do you spend any time together?

These threads pop up occasionally and always make me hmm

My mother is in her forties and has been gaming for over twenty years. We've always played together! My dad is 60 and plays shooters occasionally when he's not playing golf

Gaming is as legitimate a hobby as watching tv/reading etc. But it hasn't quite shaken that stereotype of all gamers being immature people who can't get a date or function in the real world.
Then again, I think passively watching TV instead of being involved with your entertainment is a bit weird, so what do I know? grin

ZeldaUpNorth Sun 25-Nov-12 18:14:15

He starts work at 11:30-8pm 2 days a week, the rest of the week he's self employed so can start/finish when he wants.

squeakytoy Sun 25-Nov-12 19:36:46

I know plenty of middle aged and elderly women who play Farmville, which is pretty much the same thing.. it is still online gaming. grin

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Sun 25-Nov-12 20:15:50

I'm 40 and I love WoW, as do my husband and daughter. We all play together. Our guild leader is 72.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Sun 25-Nov-12 20:16:58

... and we've met up with some guild members in real life too.

McChristmasPants2012 Sun 25-Nov-12 20:21:28

i play a few online games, Eveonline, LOL, BO2. i am always on the headset.

currently i am playing eve and MN. I am always on the headset once the kids go to bed, got to love team speak and skype

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Mon 26-Nov-12 08:30:10

Trying to work out if I know any of you now. Do we have any MutinyMamas? Ach memories! grin

GilbGeekette Mon 26-Nov-12 08:45:27

WoW for 7 years here, met (and married) DH in Azeroth (and also in real life obviously). Gaming was (and is) just a way of switching off for me, and low stress socializing, especially for the years I was a single parent and going out was a no-no due to lack of babysitters and funds! Currently playing Guild Wars 2 (because it's so pretty and no subscription - yay!) but am considering a return to WoW because of the pandas grin


DH has a very responsible job, he is a great dad who spends huge amounts of time with his family just not doing any of the fookin housework

He also happens to enjoy online gaming, Star Wars and a new free one he has found. He finds it relaxing and destressing in the same way I find ranting on here and sending borderline abusive emails to George Osbourne relaxing and destressing.

Although I could do without the conversations about how the Sith were being mean to him!!!

I was hooked on GUild Wars for a while, then moved to Age of Conan, and then on to SWTOR. Tried going back to GW when we stopped being able to afford SWTOR, but it just doesn't stand up against other games. Not overly keen on GW2, I used to be years ago, but it took so bloody long to turn up I got bored long before it was released!

"Although I could do without the conversations about how the Sith were being mean to him!"

Haha, serves him right, the Sith are obviously far superior grin

Arana Mon 26-Nov-12 09:08:17

So it's juvenile to interact with real people in real situations where you work together to solve problems, but you don't think it's juvenile that people get lost in imaginary universes cooked up in books or films?


honeytea Mon 26-Nov-12 09:10:53

I don't kill people online though, therein lays the difference Do you read books/watch films where people die? Mostly in wow you are killing dragons ányway.

I met my DP whilst playing wow, we are expecting our first baby (due to our very real relationship.) We play online games but also have other hobbies and lots of lovely friends.

I don't have time to concern myself with what other people choose to do as a hobby. Op you obviously need something to enrich your life if you are finding yourself with time spare to worry about what others spend their spare time doing.

I guess as we are only people on the internet (and therefore not real hmm) you will disregard our opinions anyway. If I were you I would ask myself why I feel the need to ask unreal (imaginary?) people about other people's (who you say yourself you don't know) hobbies.

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Mon 26-Nov-12 10:01:09

I don't kill people. I kill murlocs which deserve to die for being so annoying and always pulling multiples along with them. And they smell! Of FISH! [cross face]

AceyAssassino Mon 26-Nov-12 11:49:41


I game online regularly, you can usually find me on Call of Duty or similar games. I kill people on there, they respawn 3 seconds later and usually have their revenge on me lol

I have a family, I work 40 hours a week, I don't really watch tv and love getting getting immersed in a game world especially if it has a really good story which many of the games do, you should try one I think you'd be surprised :-)

GilbGeekette Mon 26-Nov-12 11:54:26

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Oh noes the tadpoles! sad

BabeRuthless Mon 26-Nov-12 13:05:53

A large part of me and DP getting together is our shared love of games. I've been happily playing nothing but Borderlands 2 for the last few months and its a great stress reliever. He's currently absorbed in the new Assassins Creed. We're both in our late 30s and I can't ever see us stopping our gaming. Ds is not neglected, our home runs smoothly and we both have full time jobs. I don't see how anyone has a problem with this.

Kafri Mon 26-Nov-12 13:34:30

OMG OP! You have no idea just how many people play online games these days! I choose not to but similarly my DH does. I would put money on you knowing someone who plays one game or another-you just don't know it cos that person you know clearly has a RL as well and chooses to tell you about that side of their life as thy know gaming isn't something you're into.
For the most part my DH doesn't say much about his games-I get the odd comment about Halo or Fifa (usually when there's a new one out and he wants it)

Oh and shock horror - I have a RL with DH too. We go out for meals, we go to the cinema, we go to the pub quiz and we're expecting our first child in a few weeks! (And we both manage to fit in work too)

I really hope you never watch TV, read a book, see a film, watch the news or whatever OP - wouldn't like you to be in any way involved in killing anyone!

Oh, and you can get off your high horse now, OP, it's getting a sore back! Leave people to enjoy what hey like to do and I'm sure they'll leave you to what you enjoy!!

Nixea Mon 26-Nov-12 13:40:22

WoW and LotRO here as well, as does my DH. It's an outlet for after the kids are in bed and we communicate far more when gaming together than we do if we just put the TV on or sit reading. Oh, and RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles just had me spitting tea at the computer. I have a knitted murloc on my shelf and DH always says it's the only murloc he's seen that doesn't come with multiple mates!

YouBloodyWolf Mon 26-Nov-12 13:59:58

Watching those emotionally manipulative talent shows or grim soaps is sadder and more harmful, IMHO. Each to their own though. Gaming is good for de-stressing and it can be very sociable - a few people in different departments where I work meet up online now and again and it's a good way of staying in though.

I don't do it myself, mind. I couldn't get near the TV for long enough.

I met my DH on and online game called Second Life, 4 years and 1 DD later we are very happy, have a fantastic life and we play WoW in the evenings together.

Gilb the panda's are awesome grin

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