To think that if you ask for advice, you shouldn't get all pissed off if someone says something you don't like...

(132 Posts)

And then the fucking mods banned me and deleted all my perfectly reasonable comments. So now this poster thinks even more that she is in the right.

It was on the EmmasDiary facebook page yes, I know... I stated that her stance was offensive to me (she thinks her exH isnt safe to look after her kids as he is depressed) and I was jumped on and called an idiot (spelt wrong, ha). She "lolled" at my depression, so I childish, I know! said I thought it was hysterical that she had PND, and somewhat ironic given that she wont let H see his own kids.

Sigh. Why do I do it...

Feel free to all tell me IAB a cunt.

abbierhodes Thu 22-Nov-12 22:44:17

Haha! Emma's diary is ridiculous!

Now followed by six million "she only asked for advice and she's getting judged, dont worry hun, you know best with your bubs". Ffs.

Men, if your partner gets PND, take the baby and run. hmm same thing...

GrumpyCynicalBastard Thu 22-Nov-12 22:48:02

Oh God - that is a truly awful site!

<<bleaches eyes>>

I only joined for the free stuff!

It did also make me feel nice to give advice on the posted problems. Seems only flowery advice is appreciated though.

GhostShip Thu 22-Nov-12 23:03:12

I've commented coz I'm fuming.

As was I! I still am tbh, as ridiculous as that sounds, words on a screen etc etc

And FWIW, i told her I had depression and was offended by the suggestion I would hurt my children, so her "PND is different" argument is stupid anyway, as I dont have PND!! Argh! Idiod. wink

(I am the "jumped up idiod". Seems her post calling me that doesnt get deleted...)

Shes still talking about me, like 100 posts later. Ha.

<wonders how many posts I can have in a row on this thread>

Oh god, I saw that post earlier and hid it. It made me too angry!

Especially as I've just been put under the care of a crisis mental health team due to suicidal thoughts. If anyone even thought about trying to restrict my access to my son I'd be distraught!

Exactly! Why do EmmasDiary not see how different it would be if it was the woman being denied unsupervised access to her children! (She is v keen to say "i'll let him see them, but only when i'm there) I understand that the stupid bint doesnt get my point, but to have my comments deleted because the whole site disagrees... <mind boggles>

It seems to me that anyone who disagrees with the majority on there gets deleted. Not long after I signed up there were a series of messages about shutting down comments to stop people fighting, at which point I figured it wasn't worth getting involved in that side of the site.

God I hate those fb pages and emmas diary has to be one of the most bloody annoying

McChristmasPants2012 Thu 22-Nov-12 23:35:45

I think this is best to be kept on that site, it is a pet hate of mine that members of other website come over here to bitch.

Why have you bought it here, because to me it sounds like something out of the playground at school.

Seems I'm too used to posting on MN and giving honest opinions, warts n all grin

I've now un-liked them. Ha, that'll show them!

Hope you're feeling okay murder. I find distracting myself arguing online helps me not think about it smile

Because I was irritated. I find most things on MN could be solved elsewhere tbh actually on the playground in recent examples
Not moaning about the site in general, moaning about people on it. No different to moaning about real people is it? Is it? <needs real life>

McChristmasPants2012 Thu 22-Nov-12 23:39:29

but i agree with you

(Its not the website by the way, its their facebook page. Not sure if that makes it better or worse grin )

Sigh, its still going on. I cant stop myself looking at it!

I can't look at it again, I'll want to post something

Go oooooon. I cant, im banned!

"All I'm saying is that if hes tried to commit suicide he shouldnt be alone with them. Am I wrong?"
Yes.

Go to court you stupid woman. Try to get a judge to say he is only allowed supervised access. Ffs, there are women on the relationships board who (slightly more grey area!) cant ban unsupervised access when they left because of DV!!

Back again!

"He can see them, but only with someone supervising"
I have depression and am alone with my children right now. Someone call 999. I'm also "disabled" long story Where is my supervision ? why is my DH in work instead of making sure I dont burn the house down? hmm

She's bloody annoying, but so are most of them tbh. They don't have a clue

Grr "supervising"! How fucking patronising!!

<must sleep now>

What did they ban you for?

RichardSimmonsTankTop Fri 23-Nov-12 01:38:10

I can't be bothered to read it but if you tell me what to post I'll post it for you.

<spoiling for a fight on t'internet>

Telling her that "depression = dangerous" was offensive to me
And answering back when she called me a "jumped up idiot". Mainly pointing out how funny it was that she spelt idiot wrong

'Emma' appeared to say, only helpful posts please, then deleted all of mine, and banned me!

Richard, you can just improvise based on whats on this thread? grin

RichardSimmonsTankTop Fri 23-Nov-12 01:46:12

OK, I'll try. I'm feeling lazy and have had half a bottle of wine

RichardSimmonsTankTop Fri 23-Nov-12 01:51:46

OK done.

It's gone a little quiet over there

Like it, Richard grin very accurate, and of course, very unpopular!

NoTeaForMe Fri 23-Nov-12 07:39:50

Ok, so I haven't read it all but... (and please don't flame me!) if her husband has tried to kill himself three times in the last few months then would it be wise to leave him with 2 small children? I must admit it would make me nervous.

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 07:51:52

They didn't ban me. She got a bit annoyed with me and started putting my name in capitals...

I didnt say anything any worse than anyone else! And anything bad I did say was in retaliation to being slagged off for finding her view offensive. And her lolling at me! "Oh you think its offensive do you? Hahaha." hmm

NoTea she has no reason at all to think he will hurt the children. She is mad at him for cheating on her, and has said as much, and has even said she thinks he is lying about the suicide attempts and just attention seeking to try to win her back!

Maryz Fri 23-Nov-12 08:20:55

I need a link.

I love the idea that "helpful advice" means "agree with the op".

HoobleDooble Fri 23-Nov-12 08:23:48

Please tell me it was someone off here who just made me snort with the "I can and I have" response to someone saying you can't judge! Emma's Diary, whilst not as bad as it was a couple of years back, is an outlet for fuckwits wanting other fuckwits to verify their poor choices, under the disguise of 'seeking advice';
"I'm 5 months pregnant and have been with my bf for 2 weeks, he wants me to put his name on the birth certificate, I think I will or he'll leave me".
"My 2 week old isn't sleeping through so I've been giving him rice in his bottle together him to sleep. It isn't working, would it be ok to put melted chocolate buttons in there instead?"
Of course, the only response acceptable to these people is "Your baby, your choice ... Hun"

HoobleDooble Fri 23-Nov-12 08:25:37

*together = to get. Bloody iPad wants bigger words than I can give at this time!

Here you go MaryZ
linky
You cant read my comments, they are long gone, but I am the "jumped up idiod" she and others reply to...

grin at the chocolate buttons!

Oh God, I've never heard of this page before, but now I'm going to have to have a look! takes a deep breath

I can't link to it, don't know if it's my phone

The last few posts look like sensible MNers posts... smile
And as such, they will all disagree. Your only doing whats best for bubs.

My fave this morning - social services will not allow him unsupervised access

Maryz Fri 23-Nov-12 08:55:48

Bloody hell. I only have two thoughts.

1) Can people really not spell? Or write coherently? It's like reading a 5 year old's thought stream.

2) No wonder so many children lose contact with their fathers after breakups. The number of people on there who seem to think that it is fair enough for mothers to refuse to allow their children to see their fathers is mind-boggling.

Could someone possibly write on there that "not only are the mods letting it stand, but they also appear to have deleted the comments of someone who was offended by her view of depression, leaving a very one sided discussion, when the person who was offended probably had a point" or something to that effect?

Thank you hunnies! <mwah> <hugs>

If kate is one of you, I love you! <more kisses>

NoTeaForMe Fri 23-Nov-12 09:21:53

I'm just going to point out that I hadn't read the thread properly, well barely at all! Also I thought the issue-or one of them was that he might hurt himself while alone with the children not that he would hurt them?

MummytoKatie Fri 23-Nov-12 09:30:04

The problem is that Emma is an idiot! Her period was two weeks late, she's been trying for a baby for five months and is feeling all weird and it finally dawns on her she might be knocked up!?! Two weeks late?!? Come on!

Fakebook Fri 23-Nov-12 09:36:36

I hate Emma's diary. I don't know why the hell I signed up because I couldn't even be arsed to go to the local chemist and get their freebies when I was pregnant. Because of Emma's fucking Diary I get monthly phone calls from N-Power asking me to change over to them even though when I signed up I absolutely remember ticking the box telling them NOT to contact me. Horrible site.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 09:49:34

Think I might be banned in a minute as well grin

Cheeky, I think I know which post is you grin

Aww diddums, she is the Only Parent In The World who is up at night with her children.

She keeps saying she is letting him see them.
We know love, thats not the problem!

Fenton Fri 23-Nov-12 09:53:55

I've been and had a look.

I'm sorry I cannot bring myself to post, - I will not be going back there.

Not a single one of them agreeing with the OP and including the OP know the correct use of FUCKING YOU'RE.

It made my head hurt.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 09:54:12

Oh pooof! sad

Haha cheeky - its gone already!

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 09:55:15

I particulary liked 'threw' instead of 'through' grin

FivesAndNorks Fri 23-Nov-12 09:55:35

Can someone please tell them it's could have not could of, and ask the op how her Dh's spelling and grammar are?
Ok flame away, I know I deserve it grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 09:56:23

Don't know if I can bear to read anymore of it.....or maybe I can. Will it let me post again I wonder?

FivesAndNorks Fri 23-Nov-12 09:56:23

Oh huge x post with the rest of the mn GRAMMER POLICE

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 09:57:06

grin @ fives Just got to....

Listen "sweetheart" we have read your posts, we are well aware that you are ever so kind in "letting" your husband see his own kids. You are either not reading what we are saying or you are as stupid as your grammar and spelling makes you appear. It is NOT ON to not let someone have unsupervised access to their own children because YOU have decided they are an unfit parent. It is NOT ON to say that because he has depression he is a risk to his children. It is especially hypocritical given that you claim to have suffered from PND yourself.

Argh! angry

Mintyy Fri 23-Nov-12 10:04:11

But why are you dragging your disagreements over here? Tacky, tacky, tacky.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 10:06:08

Ha ha, how about that one?

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 10:06:20

I was watching my mate post on the status this morning before coming on here, I'm absolutely staggered at some of the attitudes on there. I just hope none of them ever experience depression and need support. I really feel sorry for the bloke, I wonder if we can find him and get him on here grin

Mintyy, I cant write on there, they banned me for my difference in opinion!

HecatePropylaea Fri 23-Nov-12 10:07:05

This sort of thing does confuse me. Sometimes what you need to hear is not what you want to hear.

how is it helpful to someone to give them advice that is either legally inaccurate or will ensure that they simply feel it's ok to carry on in whatever situation they're in when that situation is not a good one, just so they can feel they're 'right' because they have lots of people on the internet agreeing with them.

The 'how dare you disagree with me, you must always agree with my pov no matter what it is,if it's legal, moral or physically possible, otherwise you're being meeeeeeeean ' types are, sorry to say it, really childish.

When they grow up, they will realise that supportive doesn't mean agreeing, regardless the situation. It can mean helping someone to realise that they need to change something

and, of course, the main thing to remember is that people on the internet aren't going to suffer in any way. They just put in their view and walk away. It's no skin off their nose if their hugs and lols and validation actually result in you fucking up your life because you dug your heels in cos people on the internet agreed with you - and it then bit you in the arse. Those people aren't left in the mess. They're not picking up the pieces. They're just hugging the next person who wants reassurance that it's ok to make a foolish decision.

Mintyy Fri 23-Nov-12 10:08:20

Well switch your computer off and go and do something else! Is it good for you to be so over-invested in a website that you don't even enjoy using?

Someone ask her for her DHs details. Tell her he needs some legal support cause SHE is the fruit loop. grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 10:09:37

Dammit Hectate I wish I had written that sad

Definition of constructive - in agreement with me

TheVermiciousKnid Fri 23-Nov-12 10:12:59

Maybe somebody should post a link to this thread on there? wink

Mintyy, I have depression, people with attitudes like this do affect me. Thats the problem here, not where she said it. Although the fact that the website deleted my comments is somewhat irritating on top of this!

HecatePropylaea Fri 23-Nov-12 10:17:30

meant to add - I haven't seen the thing that is being referred to, I'm talking generally. I can't comment on this specific situation because I haven't seen it.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 10:17:48

Katherine fantastic! grin. I am going to post that on my FB page grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 10:18:30

Thanks for that one beyond it is coming next. grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 10:21:12

Now I am completely 'outed' and I like this name change sad

What part of I have only encourgaed him to see them dont you understand?

Umm... Encourgaed...?

Maryz Fri 23-Nov-12 10:25:41

I love her comment "I didn't ask for your opinions" - well, yes actually, you did, you just don't like them confused.

And firstly she won't leave them with him because he is depressed, now she is saying he isn't depressed, he's making it up. Which is it?

I also don't get why she moved away? Is he still in the family home, in which case, where is she?

It is all most odd.

But the attitude to depression is, well, very depressing.

Having said all that, Mintyy is right. Turn off your computer and stop worrying about fuckwits on t'interweb

<gavel>

I'm happy with that gavel. I know I'm NBU to be annoyed, and that was why I posted smile
plus my ipad needs to be plugged in

<"likes" juliettes last post. Now really going...>

TheVermiciousKnid Fri 23-Nov-12 10:38:35

<burns Maryzzz's gavel>

Sorry, but it's cold here and that gavel will give a nice bit of heat and is cheaper than logs.

WelshMaenad Fri 23-Nov-12 11:02:13

<attempts to sit on hands>

<fails>

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 12:29:21

cheeky do you mean the "would have/would of" pic? I have no idea who posted that wink

As the status has been deleted I don't think a name change is necessary - I've forgotten the names of the folk on there already!

Oh no, I missed the death of it! I may have gone back to bed
What happened?

I missed it too

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 14:56:47

I was out and toddler group but my mate says it was just more of the same.

TheDreadedFoosa Fri 23-Nov-12 15:08:27

Absolutely agree with Mintyy Christmaspants.

Embarrassed by, and for, those so excited about a Person Who's Wrong On The Internet.

I would love to be able to tell you, op, that youre very odd to think anyone gives a shit about your little disagreement...but clearly id be wrong hmm

However i think you may all be better suited to the Emmas whotsit facebook thingy after all...

This page is popular with new mums, its kind of like MN or netmums. I think it is actually very important to query that they are encouraging myths about depression, which was what my actual point was. Do you disagree with that Foosa? Do you think that advice such as mine, which was not offensive but just disagreed with her, should be deleted? By a prominent website for new mums, many of whom will suffer from PND?

There's never any evidence based advice though, it's all people's personal opinions. Sometimes the advice given is just dangerous.

OverlyHappyAlways Fri 23-Nov-12 15:55:51

Can someone link me to this shite, sorry site I mean site...I'm using a BT hotspot and my laptop keeps failing me? Thank you

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 16:01:44

Anyway she kept changing her story. First she said he wanted access but she didn't want him to have it unsupervised, then she said he asked for her to be there. Then she said he wasn't interested in seeing his DC's.
I was very tempted to tell her to post on MN as she would have maybe had a wider opinion but it would have been like throwing a sheep to the wolves. She was only interested in the answers of people that were advising her how to get her x out of her DC's lives by pre-occupying them with other stuff. Was very sad to think that some people thought it was a good idea for the children to forget who their DD is sad

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 16:02:56

There was a link on page 2 of this thread.

The link is still there, but her whole post has gone poof now, possibly because my lone voice of reason wasn't so lone any more grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 16:13:11

Ah you got us nest of vipers involved.

<whistles "you gotta friend"> grin

OverlyHappyAlways Fri 23-Nov-12 16:17:06

Oh page 2. I am a very old mumsnetter I don't do pages (not a great fan of changes) I just have one huge page, I shall scroll more carefully grin

OverlyHappyAlways Fri 23-Nov-12 16:18:02

Oh has it gone...sad Okay I may have to go walk the dog...

There was a post on there a few months ago. A women thought her waters had broken at 25 weeks and even her mw just advised using a pad for a few days and seeing what happened.

Wtf nooo ive had pprom twice if the waters have broken you need to go to hospital and have some steroids for the lungs and some abs incase of infection ffs

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 16:38:13

I get angry about people perpetuating dangerous myths about mental health problems, if that makes me odd, so be it Foosa.

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 18:21:02

Gutted it's gone. I had more to say.

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 18:21:20

and as per usual I've outed myself hah.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 18:36:36

Ah, which one were you I wonder? hmm

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 18:38:41

You might have missed my parts, they didn't get deleted though. I was Dana-R

I think I must have missed yours

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 18:46:45

God damn! I had her riled.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 19:49:14

I definitely didn't see your 'parts' ghost grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 19:51:13

Oh, just give me one line ghost I can't remember the names anyway. Someone has been trying to 'friend' me but I am worried it might be a friend of the poster saying she is going to come around and chin me :O

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 19:56:25

I was the one who said she'd contradicted herself, one minute she said it was because she was depressed then she said he was playing on depressison and its because of cheating. I said I suspect it's not the depression thats the issue, but the cheating.

And that dads have got rights too.

And a few more ha

Tweasels Fri 23-Nov-12 20:05:32

Oh my goodness. That shit makes netmums look heavenly. Someone actually said "can sumone tell me wot pre-eclampsia is cos I think I got it."

keep up the sabotage

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 20:10:03

'when can i put salt on my childs food because he likes it'

ffs.

HecatePropylaea Fri 23-Nov-12 20:23:25

Someone asked that?

I'm confused. how does a child know whether or not they like salt if they've never had it added to their food. They wouldn't know what it tasted like or be able to have a preference [baffled]

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 20:28:11

The page clearly needs a MN intervention.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 20:32:16

Mmm, can't remember your name.

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 20:35:04

cheekybaubles - I was also the one who pointed out depression is similar to PND, after someone said PND is different.

I also said the father had rights too, after they banged on about mothers rights for like 100 posts. I don't know how you missed me grin she was frothing!

Hecate - my thinking exactly. I'm not even a mother yet but I feel I can judge

WelshMaenad Fri 23-Nov-12 20:39:36

I went out and didn't catch the denouement. Did she even come close to accepting that she was BU or did she just keep banging on about her dad trying to abduct her?

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 20:40:10

FWIW I posted the should of/should have picture.

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 20:41:46

Welsh her and her elk just kept accusing us of being judgemental, and not giving good advice hmm

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 20:51:35

You are my hero mrs she just kept telling me if I couldn't say anything constructive....I thought I was being constructive. <looks innocent>

Its me cheeky, I am N.H! I did sent a message too! grin

Ghost, I know which one you were. Were? Are you not Dana any more? grin

On a serious note, does anyone think MN needs a campaign to address the stigma still attached to MH issues?

I am the only one here not outed, what with being banned and all grin
Though I am "me" on MN anyway, my profile isnt all cloak and dagger smile

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 20:57:11

Haha Im still Dana... I think (looks shifty)

I honestly can't believe there's STILL so much stigma attached to mental health issues, but also blatant sexism surrounding it too.

Thankyou for making this thread, and opening mine (and anothers) eyes. It needs to be addressed.

WelshMaenad Fri 23-Nov-12 21:19:47

Ah, the "you're just being a protective mummy" brigade. Who at no point came back to explain why I could be alone with my children, but a father with depression was inherently dangerous...

<knows which posts were welsh now too>

Mummy tiger. Protecting her cubs. Rarr.

I'm following rethink and Time to Change on facebook, who are both really good for campaigns on raising awareness of mental health.

Ah I remember now, I posted that if she is realy worried she should talk to a professional ( because they will be really bothered!) not ask a group of people who are just going to tell her 'you know best hun'

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 22:19:36

I saw that grin

The poor child

MrsReiver Fri 23-Nov-12 23:45:50

Ooh I don't think I've ever been someone's hero before. My posts weren't at all constructive, I was too cross to be helpful.

I need to get myself banned from there, I just saw a post about using controlled crying to settle a 19 WEEK old.

There was one with an even younger baby! Luckily people came on and said no don't do it. Who the bloody hell moderates these things.

Actually we have one that is run by a few parents I know, who don't have a bloody clue so I shouldn't be surprised. It's all yes he obviously needs solids at 12 weeks it won't hurt him hmm

cheekybaubles Sat 24-Nov-12 08:42:05

Ah beyond thank god for that. I can just see wales from the hill I live on <waves>

cheekybaubles Sat 24-Nov-12 08:44:13

Hmm no message though

Silibilimili Sat 24-Nov-12 08:49:06

Emma's diary is nuts. Ignore it. It's full of people who don't want I hear truth. Why bother?

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