To ask why any sane person would take their dc's to do the food shop?

(195 Posts)

The kids hate it, it's more difficult to do it with them (for many reasons varying with age). Why not do it online (unless they don't deliver to your area- does this happen?) it's quicker to do it online once you've set it up. It's cheaper- as you don't tend to browse and buy crap so easily. And there is no crying/moaning/complaining children to drag along. You don't even have to load stuff excess times. Ie from shelf to cashier belt to bags to car to driveway to kitchen. No brainer really?

Trills Wed 21-Nov-12 21:52:25

YA obviously B very U because not everyone has someone to look after their children, or has time to go when the children are in school.

My question is why would any sane person GO to do a big food shop when you can make the internet bring it to you?

vodkaanddietirnbru Wed 21-Nov-12 21:52:57

dh shops on a saturday morning alone while I stay home with the kids. Have never done it online.

plantsitter Wed 21-Nov-12 21:53:19

Yes, but I think people only tend to take their kids when they really HAVE to (unless they are those special angelic kids who enjoy doing the supermarket shop). Sometimes it just happens that way. So you may not be being unreasonable but you are being a bit unrealistic.

Trills Wed 21-Nov-12 21:53:44

Hah, Read the first 2/3 and eyes just glazed over. Not sure what my brain was doing.

DecAndAnt Wed 21-Nov-12 21:54:40

My ds loves it, genuinely. I cannot stand to waste money on delivery costs, I want to see what I am buying, I am a single parent so have to take him, I hate waiting in for deliveries. I enjoy going shopping with him.


MissCellania Wed 21-Nov-12 21:55:32

It isn't cheaper for a lot of us. I go in and buy reduced stuff, whatever is on offer etc. And delivery is 6.99. And Aldi don't deliver anyway, so I'd still have to trek up there as well. My kids don't mind the shopping at all. And tough tits if they do, life isn't all doing what you want to do.
No way am I wasting my child free time going to sodding Tesco.

Trills Wed 21-Nov-12 21:55:36

Alternatively - some people are scared of the internet.
Some people think that they'll only get the short-dated or crap stuff.
Some people think that it's good for the children to do it.
Some people think that their children enjoy it (and maybe they do)
Some people go on the same day every week because their parents always went on that day of the week ad that is the way it is done.

I don't necessarily think that all of the above people are sane...

sooperdooper Wed 21-Nov-12 21:56:39

Totally agree, I do all our shopping online and we don't even have kids, I can't stand the supermarket even on my own, makes me clautrophobic, can't begin to imagine how hellish it is with kids

MammaTJ Wed 21-Nov-12 21:58:19

Living in the stiks means no delivery here, well until very recently but haven't quite worked up the courage to ask Asda to deliver after reading threads on here. They are the only ones that do. Luckily I do have a DP and he does most of the shopping ALONE!!
I sometimes have to go and get the odd item with my DC in tow and it is hard work!! I avoid it where possible.

sooperdooper Wed 21-Nov-12 21:58:21

delivery is £6.99 - which supermarket is that? I've never paid more than about £4.50, and when you factor in time, petrol etc I reckon it's worth it

usualsuspect3 Wed 21-Nov-12 21:58:26

I hate online food shoping, I'd rather browse around the shop.

MrsBucketxx Wed 21-Nov-12 21:58:51

yabu im alone in the week and aldi doesnt deliver anyway.

MammaTJ Wed 21-Nov-12 21:58:53

STICKS* I can spell, just cannot type!

DorisIsWaiting Wed 21-Nov-12 21:59:00

Sometimes people have very little money and have to manage til payday when they can shop. It also costs for delivery-more if you live further away. Whilst that may not seem alot to you, on a budget of £50 it's a significant proportion.

A single parent in this situation would have no bloody choice!

You're also working on the assumption that most people have computer access. Maybe via a phone but I wouldn't want to do a food shop on my phone (largely because my eyesight's shit).


ISeeThreadPeople Wed 21-Nov-12 21:59:17

Well Aldi doesn't deliver. And the dc LOVE the food shop. DD wanders along next to us twittering on about a dream she once had about dancing olives whilst obeying commands to fetch and carry things and DS sits in the seat making eyes at old ladies and quacking at random people.

If YOU don't like being in the supermarket with other people's DC then YOU do internet shopping.

Trills Wed 21-Nov-12 21:59:18

I think I read the title as take their DCs when it's not about children at all, it's about going vs not going.

What if you don't have children - what then?

pinkyp Wed 21-Nov-12 22:00:20

I don't like it either, I'd rather pick my own food

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Wed 21-Nov-12 22:01:16

Not me, I only nip out for superbly fresh items from my conveniently placed local top drawer deli and greengrocers, with which to create supremely smug dishes of devastating deliciousness.

Oh, no.. hang on, that's Nigel Slater.

Sorry. Bad hair day. As you were.

nannyl Wed 21-Nov-12 22:01:38

I too wonder

especially when groupon regularly do ocado delivery vouchers for FREE so you dont pay any delivery at all ever.

Ocado also do amazing flash deals......
today i have got some lovely waitrose special bread (70p)
4 pints of milk 70p
a super yummy waitrose pizza £2.50 (instead of £5)
a whole "normal size" (ie not silly small) pack of lean mince £2.04
waitrose vine tomatoes 70p

infact i spent £60 on £88 of stuff and didnt pay any delivery (nor have i ever spend £ on a delivery pass)
(and if you dont have a pass they have slots where deliver is just 99p)

MissCellania Wed 21-Nov-12 22:01:43


Ilovecake1 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:01:48

We are out in the wilds! No chance for delivery here...

INeedThatForkOff Wed 21-Nov-12 22:02:00

I hate the mountains of plastic bags you get with an online shop. Substitutions or omissions get on my wick. I sometimes end up with an item smaller or bigger than I expected. Convenient delivery times cost £££.

Oh and there are indeed lots of places in rural mid Wales where the supermarkets don't deliver.

Actually DD is a gem when I take her, anyway.

INeedThatForkOff Wed 21-Nov-12 22:02:41

Ocado don't deliver here (not rural).

naturalbaby Wed 21-Nov-12 22:02:50

because the big supermarket send us big coupons in the post (£6 off a shop x 4 weeks) and we can't use them online. As soon as I've run out of coupons it's back to online deliveries.

Well we shop at aldi so no home delivery and ds would be most upset to miss a visit to aldi lol. I told him the little hook at the side of the trolley is the 'big boys handle' that he must hold at all times and he just trots along beside me nattering away as always. Not all children are nightmares in the supermarket.

Mathsdidi Wed 21-Nov-12 22:03:48

I take 2yo dd2 to the supermarket every Sunday afternoon. It's her weekend treat hmm. She loves it. She rides in/on the trolley, she carries her own little basket, she counts the apples into the bag for me, she chooses her own yoghurts for the week, she helps unload the trolley onto the checkout, and she has a play on the Peppa Pig ride on the way out.

It isn't cheaper to do it online as I only buy what I would buy online anyway and I don't need to pay the delivery charges, and at least when I do it myself I get what I want with no poxy substitutions.

My DC are 10 and 13 and because they've been to the supermarket regularly , they are well behaved.
Of course it's easier to leave them at home with DH (if I go late evening) but I know I can rely on them to behave because they know better.

I'm also hoping it will make my DS easier to marry off. I don't want my future DIL wailing "He's not housetrained " and sending him back grin

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes Wed 21-Nov-12 22:06:15

I find internet delivery very hit and miss, especially with fresh food. Plus I like to browse to compare offers etc to get the best deals which isn't that easy when shopping online IMO.
Plus, I really don't want to waste my rare child-free moments going around Asda grin

Aspiemum2 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:06:34

I think it is very beneficial for children to 'learn to shop'. I do a lot of my shopping online but I do also go in store at least once a week and alternate which dc I take to help me. They have errands to do, I show them how to pick the freshest or spot the good deals and how to work out if a multibuy is actually a bargain or not.

It is a basic life skill that I want them to have so for me it's worth taking them. I do not take my 6 month old twins, I'm not actually crazy!! Older dc's are 8 and 11

Sharksandfishes Wed 21-Nov-12 22:06:54

My usually unangelic DS loves food shopping and is really helpful, to the point of other shoppers commenting. Also, I enjoy it myself and would never pay for delivery!

mamalovesmojitos Wed 21-Nov-12 22:06:55

Lp who does most of her shopping in aldi/lidl as on a very budget. Am not insane. Am lucky to have a very well-behaved child who I have to take everywhere with me, and she's used to it now smile.

JollyJock Wed 21-Nov-12 22:08:40

1. We don't have ocado here. We have Tesco or Asda.
2. Asda, as mentioned on previous threads, have a problem with being shit.
3. Tesco are far more expensive than my local morrison's even before you take into account the delivery cost
4. Online food shopping takes nearly as long as normal food shopping, and eats into my child free time. It is easier to shop with Ds than to have the laptop out while Ds is awake
5. I can't deal with ordering stuff now to arrive in 2 days time. I think that all the stuff should be there immediately and can't work out why it isn't
6. I like Morrison's

I get the shopping delivered when it cheapest- aprox £3.00. (Worth it for the impulse buys you won't do- plus expensive petol/ stress you'll save!) I started doing it 6 years ago when preg with dc1. If you don't like something (expiry date/substitution etc) you can send it straight back. They also do loads of online deals- the same if not more than they do in store.

I sound like an online shopping salesperson!! Haha! I've been debating this with some of my friends- I think they are mad to go to the store!

The only disadvantage I can see are the lack of clothes/stationary/cookware that are available via the grocery shop.

BertieBotts Wed 21-Nov-12 22:09:53

I love shopping online, I hate food shopping. I don't think I've ever actually managed a supermarket trip (for a full shop!) with a romantic partner without causing an argument blush

Delivery only costs £2.50 if you get it early enough/on the right day. I think it's £3.50 minimum for an evening slot too. Well worth it IMO.

I hate taking DS to the supermarket, I realise it's because we never go! But last time I had to drag him away from the christmas sweets displays because he was trying to open all of the chocolates which resulted in him screaming on the floor until one of those miraculous women in their 60s who appear to roam supermarkets and take great joy in diverting small children from tantrums turned up (thank god!!) I think when I'm grandma age I might go around supermarkets doing that grin Also, the time before that he attempted to climb the bread display hmm He doesn't behave like that anywhere else, so I have no idea what got into him!

bonkersLFDT20 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:10:12

I mainly do online shopping, but am often too disorganised to get it done so I end up taking one or both of the DCs (13 and 3).

The 13 yo often picks a recipe to cook over the w/e so we go and get the ingredients, or we're having people over for dinner on a Saturday and I've had the weekly shop delivered the Monday before so need to get more stuff.

I rarely do the whole shop with the DCs, but we did end up doing so this Monday. We went when it was quiet (late afternoon), had a good list (in aisle order) and he had a bread roll while we went round. All fine.

I believe I am sane, but disorganised.

ChunkyPickle Wed 21-Nov-12 22:11:14

I can't take him for a proper shop, but if we need milk then I'll take him in and we'll spend half an hour wandering around until he becomes too much of a handful.

Big shops though, I will do everything I can to avoid having him. Out of preference I'll leave him at home with his dad while I go alone - I get to spend some time out, browse, and get the shopping I want.

I do heavy stuff over the internet sometimes (Amazon keeps me stocked with nappies/wipes for example), but I like getting out of the house, so I'd feel shortchanged if I did it all online..

Meglet Wed 21-Nov-12 22:12:39

Because I'm a single parent.

Because while I do sometimes shop online I do rather like having a look around a nice supermarket. Or I can't afford / don't have the space for a big shopping session so just spend £20 or so, not worth it if you're paying for delivery too.

Because we sometimes need clothes and the supermarket doesn't do them online.

Teafairy Wed 21-Nov-12 22:13:19

I take both of mine DD1 (2.5) and DD2(7 months) and always have, they don't cause a fuss or bother because they have always gone, it's just one of the things we do. DD1 is able to join in, fetching things and carrying them if she is in the mood, riding in the trolley otherwise. I think it's nice to let her help and honestly doesn't take much, if any longer. She isn't one of the 'angelic' ones (but she is pretty good) but it's just normal for her to go and leaves weekends etc as family time. I'm not organised enough to do an online shop, i just nip when i'm out doing other things, we tried online shopping once, the bizarre substitutions were enough to out me off, at least if i see they haven't got something inshore i can have a quick rethink and still have enough stuff for meals.

JollyJock Wed 21-Nov-12 22:14:43

As long as 19mo Ds is not too tired or hungry we can be out of the house for 2 hours doing the food shop (plus drive there and back) and he doesn't grump once.

I do cone across as a mad woman though as I talk to him constantly about what we're buying.

whois Wed 21-Nov-12 22:15:09


Some people prefer the real shop to online.
Sometimes you need something now.
Some people have too much time.
It's habit for many people as tinterweb shopping is reasonably new.

You can also get better and random offers if you go to the supermarket I think sometimes.

In response to a few people- coupons from the big shops do work online- you just have to register them online-for eg. Club card.

Another person mention plastic bag waste!!? You can get your food delivered without bags and get extra rewards vouchers!

I still haven't heard a decent reason against online shopping except for the few kids who really enjoy it. (I remember detesting it when I was a kid!) and of course if you can't deliver to your area.

I'm not sure of the point here. Yes shopping is a chore but children need to learn chores at some point, don't they?

And yes, children can misbehave when shopping. But surely it's better to teach them how to behave in public rather than just avoid going shopping altogether?

whois Wed 21-Nov-12 22:18:45

Also I have rather fond memories of the supermarket shop. Dad used to finish work early one day a week and he would collect me from school and then we would go food shopping. He'd buy a bun or something at the start so I could eat it on the way round.

When mum reduced her hours at work she did the food shop and I'd go to be of assistance with bag packing and unloading the car.

Normal isn't it?

Willdoitinaminute Wed 21-Nov-12 22:19:00

Next time you see a mum carting her DCs around Tescos ask her why she has them with her. It will never been from choice!

WildWorld2004 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:19:09

I buy other things online but i will not buy food online.

It doesnt take me that long & although my 8yr old doesnt like food shopping she doesnt make a fuss. I give her a pen & the list & off we go round the supermarket.

Most conpanies you can order late at night and get the delivery the next morning. Though I do admit to needing the occasional ad hoc purchase. (Tend to go to an express shop/petrol station/butcher etc for this)

edwinbear Wed 21-Nov-12 22:20:48

YABU. We do a family shop every weekend, all 4 of us. We enjoy browsing the offers, I like taking ds to the bakery counter and letting him choose a gingerbread man from time to time, ds enjoys helping to choose the fruit/meat/bread, dd enjoys the ride in the trolley and the little old ladies who coo at her. I want to choose my own cuts of meat and veg, I do not want to pay a delivery charge, nor do I want to sit at home waiting for the delivery to arrive.

It's hardly a wait- we get a one hour time slot.

WildWorld2004 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:23:45

One thing you can not do when shopping online is your own sustitutions.

When i am in a supermarket and they do not have something i wanted i can just choose something else. Whereas if you do it online you either have no substitutions so end up with half of your shopping missing or you get something that you dont like.

Haberdashery Wed 21-Nov-12 22:24:01

Um, I like going shopping with my child. She's good fun to talk to and I like watching her writing the shopping list and crossing stuff off as we go round. OK, I only have one nice little well-behaved six year old but I can't see why I'd want to do online shopping, personally. What happens when you do online shopping is they send you shitty substitutions and chickens/mince/fruit with really short use by dates and it drives you mad.

A few years ago, shopping with DD was a bit of a torture but it's a pleasure now. There was a bit of shouting in the interim period.

spoonsspoonsspoons Wed 21-Nov-12 22:24:06

I presume you normally have an hour long slot for a delivery? If so I can go to the supermarket, shop, get home and unpacked in under an hour.

In response to children learning chores- my dd1 (5) helps me with writing the food shop list- we look in the cupboards to see what is needed and discuss what we might like for dinners. She likes to look at the computer for the online shop and point things out. The future is online shopping- she'll know how to budget and do it.

We do do other forms of outside shopping- clothes etc. so she's getting the full spectrum! ;)

SamSmalaidh Wed 21-Nov-12 22:27:54

I would love to be able to do my shop online, but unfortunately Aldi don't deliver sad

I do try to do it without DS but sometimes I have to take him. He's usually pretty good and happy enough though.

Yes spoons but in the 'waiting hour' I'm not waiting- I'm doing other useful stuff- Like playing with the dc, cooking, relaxing etc! Much more fun than going to the shop- which take much more time than 1hr from door to door IMO

thekidsrule Wed 21-Nov-12 22:30:23

YABU because not everybody has a partner,cm,family,or internet for that matter to make it easier

isnt shopping part of everyday life with children,its unavoidable in many peoples lives (well maybe not on mn)

same as if i needed the dentist my child came with me,needed the doctor,hair cut etc for me they came with me

do people really out-source the children when these things come up

Thekidsrule- read the post.

JollyJock Wed 21-Nov-12 22:32:48

I wouldn't take Ds clothes shopping for me if I could possibly help it. Clothes are far too boring and we would just both end up very stressed. Plus primark doesn't have trolleys.

Perhaps I should have worded the title better- I understand that we sometimes have to / want to bring our kids to places. But if you can do it easier online- why not!?

MrsHoarder Wed 21-Nov-12 22:36:12

Lidl don't deliver and it gets me and DS out of the house. Even better old ladies entertain DS when I need a break. I'm not wasting weekend time on food shopping.

SamSmalaidh Wed 21-Nov-12 22:37:05

But some supermarkets you can't do online!

Agree jolly jock- that is another pita for me! But trying on clothes is more necessary. Next is great for this- you can order online for the next day then send back if it doesn't fit.

I'm glad I live in this online world - so much easier!

StuntGirl Wed 21-Nov-12 22:38:09

Why the bollocks do you care so much?

Just because you don't have the will power not to impulse buy don't assume we're all the same.

Stuntgirl- that's the best argument I've heard so far smile

I am one of those people who likes doing my own shopping. I like to check dates on things and choose fresh produce based on how it looks/feels. I won't buy from market stalls who won't allow self selection either.

Ds is now 7 and has done the supermarket shop every week since his first trip at 5 days old. It is a normal everyday event and as such he is capable of behaving. I'm the other way, unless a child has sensory issues and will be genuinely distressed, I am always amazed when other people say they couldn't possibly shop with children in tow. I always wonder how out of control your kids have to be if they can't walk around a shop!

blackcoffee Wed 21-Nov-12 22:42:21

because it's quicker

Sirzy Wed 21-Nov-12 22:42:32

I live less than a mile from the supermarket, im not going to pay someone else to do my shopping for me!

I like going and browsing the aisles, picking which item is best, which fruit is just right for DS, which piece of meat is most suitable.

Ds enjoys it anyway, he helps and makes sure i don't forget 'important' things!

mumnosbest Wed 21-Nov-12 22:43:23

I like to shop around, eg heron or iceland for freezer stuff, aldi for tins and fresh stuff, end of the day at morrisons bakery for sticky bargains. Some places don't do online shopping and you don't get reduced food online.

LizzieVereker Wed 21-Nov-12 22:43:31

I take mine on the supermarket shop because:
1. I like them and want to spend time with them.
2. They like it too and do not whine.
3. It's good for them to help choose food, plan the week's meals. It encourages them to try new things, and they eat better as they are involved.
4. I work and can't go when they're at school anyway.
5. I might be am definitely a bit slow on the computer so it takes nearly as long to Internet shop as it does to go round the real shop.

My dd's are well behaved. I could do the shop with them. It's just a chore though. Even if they weren't with me I'd rather do it online. In fact- they would rather not go!

There are a lot more fun things to do with them IMO

babybythesea Wed 21-Nov-12 22:46:37

DD likes going. And loves to help me spot the food we need. She very rarely has a melt down in the supermarket (she's 3 nearly 4). She's had them, of course, and it's always a risk, but in the main she knows what I expect and she behaves well. I enjoy her chatter as we wander round ("When I grow up and be a boy Father Christmas will bring me my torch back" was this week's offering - took me a while to untangle all the elements of what she meant in that very muddled sentence!)

I tie it in with other things that need doing so I don't just go the supermarket and back (live in the middle of nowhere, I don't do 'single use trips'.). No idea what delivery charges would be but not cheap I'm betting.

I like looking for my own stuff - I will write 'fruit' on my list and then look for the things that look nicest. I also look for deals (on a tight budget here). I go for the shelves where things are about to go out of date and they stick the stuff all together, go for offers wherever they turn up (as long as it's something I'd use anyway, even if I buy more of it due to the offer - three months worth of shower gel anyone?), and make snap decisions about my menu for the week if something turns up on offer I wasn't expecting (menus all planned in advance to avoid impulse buying).

Food shopping just is not that big a deal.

Haberdashery Wed 21-Nov-12 22:48:13

Well, that's your personal preference OP. I would like to take my daughter with me as I find her company enjoyable and I like shopping and choosing food. I am sane.

larks35 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:48:52

Because Lidl don't do online shopping/delivery.
Because I like to go to the butcher and green grocer on the high street and then supermarket for any other stuff.
Because the one and only time I did an internet shop what I got wasn't exactly what I would have bought (meat 1 day away from useby date, veg not as fresh as I would have chosen) and replacements being far removed from what I wanted.
Because my children generally enjoy the shopping experience.
Because I don't feel I should shut myself away just because I have children.
Because I don't feel my children should be excluded from ordinary activities just because they are children.

Dd1 (5) likes to help me choose food online. Unpack the shop. And help me cook! (Simple stuff like peel onions, grate cheese etc)

I can totally understand if you like to browse around different shops like Lidl etc for fab bargains- that makes sense to me.

Yika Wed 21-Nov-12 22:49:47

I stopped going with my DD after she fell out of the trolley on her head (no straps on the child seats in the trolleys here). Online shopping is ok - I get it delivered when I'm at work and the cleaning lady sorts it out - but delivery costs me 9 euros (im in belgium) and you can't buy half the things I need. So I get lots of wine and toilet paper and then go in person to get fresh stuff when my DD is with my exP. but I hate going, even on my own.

Startail Wed 21-Nov-12 22:50:39

Because I live in the middle of nowhere and tend to do the shopping while on other errands.

I'm not paying delivery when I'm going past.

My DDs mostly don't mind food shopping, they have always done it.

We were outside delivery areas when they were very small.

Also they learn a lot more coming shopping than they do watching CBBC

goldenlula Wed 21-Nov-12 22:51:01

I don't need a reason or excuse. I take my children shopping. Well, at the moment I take dd as the boys are at school.
But if you want reasons:
£3.00 or whatever is a lot out of my budget (diesel to the supermarket does not cost this)
My preferred supermarket (the one that does the best deals for my family) does not deliver
I sometimes change my planned meals when I see as I go round that something else is on a good offer.
I have heard lots of short dated stuff is sent.
I may shop at various shops if I know something is on a better offer else where.
Shopping is part of life, my children know this and are used to it.

Sirzy Wed 21-Nov-12 22:51:03

Choosing food online isnt the same. You can't pick bananas which are going to be ripe at the right point of the week, or look for the piece of meat which is just right for the meal you have planned.

I do loads of other outside activities with dd's! They are by no means hermits because they don't do the boring food shop! Lol

Online shopping is also part of life.

Startail Wed 21-Nov-12 22:52:19

DD1 always had her walking reins clipped to the trolly, she sliped the built in strap and climbed on the till belt.

StuntGirl Wed 21-Nov-12 22:52:43

Do you think it makes you superior or something? All this talk of your darling daughter helping do the online shop, how you're preparing her for the future and how you use your time so much more wisely by mumsnetting playing with her while waiting.

Startall- smile

Stuntgirl- no, I'm just a bit bored at the mo. dc in bed. Dh out with work. I've had a few glasses of my 'online shop' wine. And I had this debate with some of my parent friends earlier (I'm on maternity leave). Interesting to see what everyone else thinks. I just haven't shopped properly in a food shop for 6 yrs! The only time I've tried it since I've hated it! I don't mean to offend.

MrsHoarder Wed 21-Nov-12 22:58:52

OP: Your DD is presumably school age at 5. Do you also not work? If both of these are the case then you have an unusually high amount of DC-free time. I could do it at the weekend without DS and leave him with DH, but I have endless hours in the week where wandering around a supermarket is better than singing "Old MacDonald" again.

Mrs hoarder-my point is online shopping- much less time needed!

MrsHoarder Wed 21-Nov-12 23:00:56


Also online shopping ties me to the house for a couple of hours. Those couple of hours always somehow end up being ones where DS is screaming and needs a long calming walk. Shopping in person I can choose my time on the day.

HoneyDragon Wed 21-Nov-12 23:03:03

Because I buy seasonal produce, I shop locally and tend to use more than one supermarket in my weekly shop. This keeps my costs down and money in my local community.

I try not to outsource. By using my local supermarket when I have to I ensure it performs and keeps employing people.

I have never had any issue taking either if my children shopping. We want to eat, we have to go. Means they've early a say in what we have too.

Sorry I think I misunderstood you. I can see how it could be a good time occupier. My dd(5) has just started school, I have a baby (13 weeks). I will be going back to work part time soon. I already feel v busy!

Whojamaflip Wed 21-Nov-12 23:10:14

I take 3 dcs to do the weekly shop as it helps kill some of the 3 hrs we are waiting for dd1 to come out of training. Otherwise we would be stuck in the car for that time. (training is too far away to drive there and go home and then go back for her - round trip of about 50 miles) And its at night so there is no-where else open to wander round (apart from 10 pin bowling or cinema or pub )

I don't have any babes in arms though

ssaw2012 Wed 21-Nov-12 23:16:06

I do not like ordering food online as I do not like green tomatoes, food which expires on the day of the delivery, food which was not subsituted properly. For us it is easier to go to the shop and buy everything we want. We see what we buy. It is tiring with children but they need to see what is going on in the supermarkets.

LeonieDeSainteVire Wed 21-Nov-12 23:16:25

I just think your premise is wrong. I have done online grocery shopping many times, I find it time consuming, more expensive and can't find everything I want/get random and irritating substitutions. If I online shop I always end up having to go to the supermarket myself to get the bits they've missed or damaged. I've given up on it completely now. And as others have said I do my shopping when I'm out in the car anyway so no extra petrol.

I don't take the DC with me through choice though because I'm quicker alone, not because they behave badly.

StormyBrid Wed 21-Nov-12 23:17:25

The local supermarket doesn't deliver. The butcher, the baker, and the greengrocer don't deliver. They're also only five minutes' walk away. I'd rather support local shops than Tesco. I like to be able to cook what we fancy eating today, rather than planning a week's meals in advance. It's nice to have a reason to get out in the fresh air and get a bit of exercise. Admittedly I've yet to actually produce a child, but when I do in a few months, she'll be joining me on my daily excursion up the road and learning there's more to life than a computer screen. And if my daughter moans and complains, then I'll feel a heightened appreciation for my mother, who put up with my incessant demands for banana yoghurt for years and never actually followed through on her threats to leave home if I didn't pack it in.

maddening Wed 21-Nov-12 23:18:56

So you like to do it one way and others prefer another perfectly legal and acceptable way of acquiring their weekly shop - same with lots of things in life - they aren't harming you so what's the problem?

goldenlula Wed 21-Nov-12 23:19:10

Online shopping is part of some people's life, going shopping is part of other people's life, hence for my children going shopping is part of life. It takes me an hour tops, where as I would have to wait in for a delivery for 2 or 3 hours I believe, therefor taking up more of my time.

blackeyedsusan Wed 21-Nov-12 23:24:43

extra petrrol? about 100 yards off the route home round the carpak is hardly going to cost the same as delivery. and you do nto get the deals/educed items that i rely on, no can you check dates, nor can you swap the whole list of items in a recipe if a crucial itenm is missing..

ChristineDaae Wed 21-Nov-12 23:26:42

Fruit and veg is shit from an online shop. And I never see the nice offers on cakes naice ham online

PurpleGentian Wed 21-Nov-12 23:27:03

I like doing my own food shopping, and picking which things I want in my trolley myself. Especially bananas. I'm very particular about exactly how ripe I want them.

I have friends who do internet shopping, and they often complain about getting substituted items. That would really annoy me.

And not all kids hate grocery shopping. I used to love it. I used to get really cross when my dad sneaked out to the supermarket on Saturday mornings before I'd got up. DS also enjoys it. He sits there in the trolley beaming at all the other shoppers and looking at all the stuff on the shelves.

georgie22 Wed 21-Nov-12 23:37:13

We're another family who prefer to physically go to the shops rather than online shopping. Dd (who is 2) has always been to the supermarket and loves it. She's always been perfectly happy sitting in the trolley (usually eating something whilst we shop!) and randomly grins at strangers and checkout operators. Like JollyJack I chat to her constantly which has caused me to get some strange looks from people (interestingly other parents who appear to ignore their offspring) and she comments on what we see etc.

We tried online shopping but just didn't like it - substitutions then required me to go to a supermarket to get what I actually wanted in the first place! I like to look at the clothes etc. which you can't do online. Each to their own I say!

bondigidum Wed 21-Nov-12 23:40:42

If you factor in taxi fare to the supermarket either there and back or just back/petrol costs (depending on how far you live) the £3-4.50 delivery cost is either the same or cheaper.

I personally always spend more in store because I end up seeing things on offer and thinking 'ooh that isn't on offer often, lets get 5' grin Also I detest supermarkets in general, i'm not a lover of crowds/queuing.

Downsides are that not everything is always available or they substitute for something you really don't want so you end up going to the supermarket anyway to get those things. Also sometimes the fresh stuff is the stuff about to go off.

My DCs don't mind the supermarket. DS (2.8) has a tantrum on the apple aisle begging for them so we always end up coming home with a bag of apples grin

MichelleRooJnr Wed 21-Nov-12 23:41:59

No. Young children do not need to learn 'how to shop' in a supermarket. I'm sure that's one skill that they can pick up fairly quickly when they are at a shopping age Aspiemum
I get that often it's unavoidable, but sometimes it just isn't.
Family outings to the supermarket are ridiculous. I often see 2 parents (adults, anyway) with children in Tesco. No need - one adult can shop while one does something more child friendly (like stay at home).
It is not 'cute' when peoplle lets their children steer the trolley, or take ages blocking a section while child learns to pick a yoghurt and put it the trolley.
Sat in babyseat in trolley being good - lovely. Anything else - a pain in eery other shopper's ass.
If you're on your own with child(ren) I am sympathetic and make allowances but if I see 2 or more adults - not so much.

goldenlula Wed 21-Nov-12 23:46:31

The downside of the Internet is that it has obviously made us far less tolerant with regard to children, years ago the only option was to take children shopping now they should only be allowed in a shop if it is absolutely necessary as it may disturb some one else's shopping trip. Odd, very odd.

MissCellania Wed 21-Nov-12 23:50:02

I'm struggling to see why we should care whether any of you like our children and/or partners to be doing the shopping with us? If my children are disturbing your serene shopping experience, how about you do the internet shop and leave us to it?

MichelleRooJnr Wed 21-Nov-12 23:53:53

Yes MissCelliana I will step aside and leave the supermarkets to entitled (yep, I said it) parents who don't care who's experience they are disturbing.
My apologies.

PurpleGentian Wed 21-Nov-12 23:58:58

I don't see how it's entitled to take a child to the supermarket. Especially if the child enjoys being there and is well-behaved.

DappyHays Thu 22-Nov-12 00:00:03

I've been doing online grocery shops since they started. Times have changed and I now do the on my phone using apps at work . I get murderous if I ever have to walk round an actual asda/tesco/sainsbury.

Pre online shops my mother used to do the food shop over the phone. She asked the delivery driver to put her shopping away too. And he did, every week. My mother does have a brass neck though.

Because it is only now and again, it is fun nipping round m&s with the kids for foodie treats.

MissCellania Thu 22-Nov-12 00:02:43

You could put up and shut up, and you are welcome to stay.

Of course I feel entitled to bring my children to sodding Tesco, why the fuck shouldn't I? Since when was the supermarket and enjoyable adult only experience? Are you perhaps confusing grocery shopping with a night at the theatre or a michelin starred restaurant? hmm

Aspiemum2 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:06:32

Actually Michelle they do, my ds will not pick up the skill quickly at all. He has asd and needs to be exposed to things regularly to be able to cope with them. He needs to learn to queue and to cope with crowds. I hardly think that waiting until he's 16 and coping with exam pressure is helpful for anyone.

Just as my children do chores at home they help with shopping, I've also taught them to swim, taken them horse riding, we go sledging in the snow, paddle in the sea and they climb trees, we play board games etc etc. these things are all part of a healthy, well rounded childhood.

As it happens my children are very polite in the supermarket, they stand back to let other people who never say thank you go past. They don't run around or get in the way. I really fail to see your problem or why you're so angry about it confused

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Thu 22-Nov-12 00:09:39

A: I have no one to look after mine
B: I make it fun, he helps with the list and has his own diddy trolley.
So yes your being unreasonable

thebody Thu 22-Nov-12 01:08:08

Well... It's not easy!
Ds1 likes Stella or sometimes if its on offer magners cider.

Ds2 likes real ale and red bush tea

Dd3 needs Tampax ( not asda own, the expensive silk type) of course! Also simple makeup wipes and moisturiser

Dd4 has to have weetoes chocolate cereal and the right pizza or her life is over.

Yeah it's a right pain!

5madthings Thu 22-Nov-12 01:29:19

sorry is there some unspoken rule that says we cant go shopping with our partners and our children?!

quite often dp does the shopping, he drives and i dont. he will often take some of the children as they ask to go.or i wsnt a bit of peace so he will combine a shop with a trip to the park etc.

sometimes i want to go to the supermarket, so we go and take the children. they are well behaved and we can chat as we go round, the children help decide what we will be eating and they sometimes have some pocket money they may want to spend.

there are no laws regarding children in supermarkets as far as i am aware!

differentnameforthis Thu 22-Nov-12 03:26:33

My kids don't hate it, they love helping & choosing the food they are going to eat.

It doesn't take longer with them (in & out under an hour today with pre schooler in tow).

Hate doing it online as I like to see what I am going to be eating & hate their stupid substitutes.

I don't buy crap. Can't afford it. Buy what I need, makes no difference if child is in tow, if they ask for something we need, they get told NO.

No crying complaining here either! And still quite sane, to boot! grin hmm

differentnameforthis Thu 22-Nov-12 03:27:19

they ask for something we don't need

brighthair Thu 22-Nov-12 03:33:12

I hate food shopping. I don't have children but them being in the supermarket doesn't bother me. However the list of what does irritate me is very long (people who aisle block, people who run trolleys into you)
Now I shop at 3am where I only ever meet police, Royal Mail staff and other ambulance workers grin and if I time it right everything is stocked and the shop is empty. Utter bliss

echt Thu 22-Nov-12 06:05:13

I can't be doing with shopping tribes, but recognise that for most it's about having to do it rather than wanting to. I'm eternally grateful for having an au pair when DD was younger, so I could do an early evening shop on my own and not exhaust her patience or mine. OK, mine.

This meant that when I did shop with DD, it was the uttermost treat.

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 06:39:44

God some people really are intolerant aren't they!

Does it really matter how many adults go to the supermarket, or how many children they have with them? As long as they aren't running up and down the aisles causing chaos what is the problem?

naughtymummy Thu 22-Nov-12 06:39:50

I honestly think people who prefer online shopping don't like food much. For me I enjoy the sights and smells of a food shop.How can an hour in front of a screen compare ? When I take the dcs (not all the time) we work out the best buys together. Yes it takes longer but is a pleasure for me.

Jossysgiants Thu 22-Nov-12 07:37:25

yabvu - Of course i would prefer to do my shopping in a serene undisturbed environment. But most often it's racing round a packed supermarket with or without kids. I don't really see doing the supermarket shop as an 'experience' to be destroyed by the presence of kids or any other population. Get the shopping done, get home and that's it.

Jossysgiants Thu 22-Nov-12 07:38:38

And what missceliania said.

cory Thu 22-Nov-12 07:41:13

If you are able to walk to a local shop and can stay disciplined whilst shopping, it is cheaper than shopping online, because you are not paying for delivery. Even if you have to drive, it is probably cheaper.

Factor in that you can choose your fruit and veg at the right stage of ripeness, which cuts down on waste, and that makes it cheaper still.

Plus, if you realise they haven't got something, you can quickly plan a series of substitutes that will work out as a different economical meal- hard to do that if the substitutes are provided by some store attendant who knows nothing about your cooking capacities.

And to me, selecting good fruit and good meat is an important skill that I want my children to learn. It is also something I enjoy. Seeing the food helps me to plan my cooking. I'll do the banana dish when I find the shop has bananas at the right stage; otherwise it doesn't taste anywhere near as good.

Each week we ask DD if she wants to come help with the shopping, she's only ever said no twice IIRC. Not all kids hate it, or run about causing havoc and getting in the way. YABU.

The people that push in front of you as you "pull in" by a shelf or fridge, then dither, and don't seem to hear your "excuse me" really piss me off though!

EugenesAxe Thu 22-Nov-12 07:45:29

I shop most ways - Internet, locals for stuff I've forgotten, big shop alone and big shop with the children (and DH). Mine like it - DH and DS re-bonded (after a bad week of late nights at work) swanning around the shop and DD loves sitting in the cart, swinging her little legs.

An online shop isn't always convenient - I need to think when I food shop in that way and I don't have the time at home with the children there - I am constantly interrupted. When you are in store you are visually reminded. In the evenings I don't really want to spend my time that way - after cooking tea I have about an hour to relax with DH.

Smeeeinit Thu 22-Nov-12 07:45:48

Maybe the kids just don't enjoy going shopping with you as your not making it enjoyable for them?
My DSs used to love going to do the weekly shop as I would make it fun for them..

bigwombat Thu 22-Nov-12 07:46:17

My dd2 has severe SN -the local supermarket hasn't got a suitable trolley for her to sit in! The last time I tried it, they offered me the adult wheelchair trolley - the 'autistic' chair (their term shock) had apparently been vandalised! Dd hated the wheelchair and screamed a lot. Everyone stared and I gave up and went home.

As well for me, internet shopping is much quicker, takes maybe 30 minutes maximum to order, and 10 to unpack, compared with 1.5 hours actually going to the shop and then unpacking.

bigwombat Thu 22-Nov-12 07:57:21

And yes to naughtymummy who said that people who online shop must hate food -I don't hate food, but absolutely loathe food shopping! The less time I'm dong it the better.

CheddarOnToast Thu 22-Nov-12 07:57:49

I always take both of mine (4 and 18 months) and always have. When we go at the weekend for a bigger shop DH comes too, to help carry the bags (we don't have a car)
DD1 enjoys pushing a child sized trolley, choosing fruit and veg etc "writing" the list beforehand, crossing things off the list... DD2 enjoys flinging putting damage-proof items into the trolley.

We try to go when it's not busy, and because of the lack of car, we shop little and often, so we don't spend much time in there in one go, - less time to get bored.

You can now get internet shopping here, but it doesn't offer the whole range that is in the shop, and actually, I prefer to go round the shop anyway.

I think it's good for young children to be involved in the shopping, and learn how to behave well when they're out etc. When they're older they can choose whether to come or not, but while they're little, in this family it's something they have to do.

BerryLellow Thu 22-Nov-12 08:09:59

grin at food shopping being an 'experience'

For me, it's just a thing. And I don't worry too much about how other people do theirs.

LurcioLovesFrankie Thu 22-Nov-12 08:14:14

OP, if you're doing all your shopping online then presumably you're not actually in the supermarket, so why do you give a flying fuck about whether other people's children are there or not? You're not there to have to put up with it.

I'm a single parent - do you suggest I get a babysitter while I go shopping? Also, since it's only me and DS, the 4.50 to 6.00 quid delivery charges are probably a 10% mark up on my shopping bill. And because I work, I can't opt for the cheap delivery times - weekends and evenings tend to cost more. Also, from what friends have told me, either you opt for "no substitutions" and have a substantial proportion of your shopping missing, or allow substitutions and get tena lady instead of pampers! At least when I'm physically in the shop I can make a sensible decision about what to have in place of something not in stock.

OP - you were very snarky upthread to another single parent and said "read the post" - well, I did, and it came across to me (this may not have been your intention) as bloody unpleasant and judgemental - a "keep your children out of the way of adults, they should be seen and not heard" attitude. Hopefully, you didn't mean it this way, but maybe you should think about your writing style before slagging off other people's reading ability.

NoraGainesborough Thu 22-Nov-12 08:15:42

both my kids love shopping and behave while we are doing it. They are 8 years and 21 months.

Hate shopping online. Fresh stuff is crap. As we meal plan every week, sending stuff back is a pain.

naughtymummy Thu 22-Nov-12 08:19:38

Well for me it is an experience. I love food and take pride in feeding my family well and economically. Shopping for that food is part of that. Btw I am not just talking about supermarket shopping although that's part of it.

vladthedisorganised Thu 22-Nov-12 08:35:39

YABU. I'm with Teafairy on this one.

That said, I can see that doing the supermarket shop at an incredibly busy time is horrendous - I prefer it very early on a weekday morning where it's more or less empty and I don't have to worry about DD getting lost or squashed (she isn't a bolter, but a small child holding on to the side of a trolley can cause a trolley jam very easily). When it's nice and empty I can have DD trotting happily alongside and still be able to see her.

Clothes shopping, on the other hand, is a strictly solo activity.

nextphase Thu 22-Nov-12 08:36:50

Because the online people don't pick the right apples, which I then refuse to eat, so the kids are force fed apple crumble.

Honestly, the times I want online stuff delivered - been away for the weekend, or DH traveling, the delivery charge has been £4 or £5. tesco is 0.3 miles away. Very expensive delivery per mile cost!

And the kids enjoy picking out what fruit and snacks they are going to eat that week - they honestly do enjoy it.

And at 7.30 on a Sat morning, where else can I take them so DH gets his lie in, and I can have one on Sunday morning when the postman wont wake me up?

LineRunner Thu 22-Nov-12 08:48:35

You only have to read MN to realise that

(a) Online shopping is often unrelaibale and riddled with mistakes that cost the customer; and a delivery fee is charged;

(b) Many parents are lone parents of limited means.

forevergreek Thu 22-Nov-12 08:51:50

We shop with Waitrose ( free delivery over £50) or ocado ( free delivery at certain times or 99p slots

I certainly don't waste time waiting for it, I pick a slot like 8pm-9pm when we have finished work and are at home pottering around. We do all our shop via mobile app in the week if ocado as you just add when you run out or when 5 mins on bus etc.. So basically spend no spare time shopping or waiting. We work around 110 hours a week between us so we wouldn't waste free time buying peas!

forevergreek Thu 22-Nov-12 08:55:15

And for people who say it cost more to get delivered in the evenings/ weekends. It doesn't. It just might be extra early or late ( for example our ocado shop was 99p last night between 9-10pm. Most people who work are up early so a 6-7am slot may work instead etc)

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 08:57:50

The last thing I want to be doing at 10pm at night is putting shopping away, and at 7am things are hectic enough without faffing with shopping.

the great thing with supermarkets is you can go when you want, it takes an hour at the most and you can pick and choose what is right. Your not relying on someone else guessing what would be an 'appropriate' substitution for something out of stock.

I like how the OP says in one of her replies that if you don't like the substitution or the expiry date on a product you can send it back. But what a ballache is that? You've now not got the product just because some supermarket worker picked a crappy sub or date when if you actually get off your arse and go shopping yourself you'd miss all that fuss.

I've done online shopping plenty of times but imo I find the cons outweigh the pros too much.

It's a personal choice, niether is right nor wrong. I wouldnt go about asking about peoples sanity just because they choose differently from me...

Argh I spelt Neither wrong. So makes my rant look stupid now...

forevergreek Thu 22-Nov-12 09:02:48

Yes but if someone works ( in the city), they are likely to be out the house from say 7.30am-7pm. They can't really just go when they fancy. If we went to the supermarkets after work we would arrive at 7.30pm, prob spend an hour shopping and by the time we got home it would be 9pm anyway. So getting home at 7pm and unpacking at 9pm when delivered is surely much easier than shopping and then coming and unpacking at 9pm regardless. Not everyone can just wander around the supermarkets leisurely at 1pm

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 22-Nov-12 09:02:57

I took it as the OP was asking out of interest, surprised that people are so seriously touchy about this!!

ChestnutsRoastingonaWitchesTit Thu 22-Nov-12 09:04:01

My dcs have always loved going shopping. Probably because I've always made it into an enjoyable experience for them hmm

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 22-Nov-12 09:07:09

I agree with Startail and StuntGirl. OP you are being a bit holier than thou about doing more fun things with your kids than shopping when lots of people are saying their kids enjoy it.

As for MichelleRoo, if kids in the supermarket bother you and make you enraged about entitlement, you shop online, hey?

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 09:07:36

Thats the point though, everyone makes different choices yet people on this thread, the OP in particular are quick to judge people for making different choices.

its easy for you to say "just get it delivered at time time or that" but that doesn't work for everyones lifestyle.

Why does how anyone else shops bother people so much?

You think families are annoying??? Our supermarket is full of flipping STUDENTS

MorrisZapp Thu 22-Nov-12 09:15:13

It baffles me why anybody with a partner would take the kids to the supermarket. I do my shopping when DS is in bed.

Surely the point about single parents is taken as read.

Each to their own, but I wouldn't do it.

Pootles2010 Thu 22-Nov-12 09:17:56

I would never online shop now, our local sainsburys is really crap at stock levels, so at 6.30 every day there's ridiculously cheap food, including meat. If I went online I wouldn't be able to get this, would I?

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 09:20:37

It baffles you that a couple would want to make decisions about food and meals together?

nearlymerrychristmasbutnotyet Thu 22-Nov-12 09:21:34

Maybe some people don't have a Car or Debit or Credit Card so cant do shopping online and have to do their shopping with their kids because of that.

KitCat26 Thu 22-Nov-12 09:28:52

I do a bit of both. Mostly I quite enjoy browsing in the supermarket. Yes, apparently I am that sad. And I quite enjoy taking DD2 even when she starts shouting (she likes the echo) and keeps me entertained.

However, if both DDs are ill or DD1 is off preschool then it's worth the £3-4 delivery charge. I'm rubbish at steering a trolley's worth of food with a 3yr old and a 22mth old sat in it. (No way would I let DD1 run loose!)

KitCat26 Thu 22-Nov-12 09:35:07

Morris I used to do that too before DD1 went to preschool. I'd go at about 8pm after I'd put them to bed. I used to enjoy being by myself with no one talking at me for an hour.

Sokmonsta Thu 22-Nov-12 09:39:23

I've taken 4 kids on my own before. Twins in the baby seats, 2yo in the trolley and 4yo walking. Ds(2) hates the shopping experience. He's too little for me to expect him to walk nicely without reins in that situation, plus ignorant people bump into him with trolleys if he walks.

I'm a big fan of online shopping for the 'big' stuff that's hard to get wrong. But I do like to go get fresh produce when I can.

However I have noticed a great money saver with Tesco. I'll often select a smaller cut of meat. But they'll send a bigger one and charge me for it. So i ring up and tell them i wasn't told the size had been substituted. Every time they have refunded the difference. Once I ordered their finest gammon as it was half price. I ordered a £5 size cut. They sent me one twice the size and charged me £10 (should have been £20). They refunded me the £5 so I only paid for the size I'd requested. my argument was that I hadn't been told it had been substituted so didn't have an option to not accept it. Bloody bargain that was. Did 4 of us 3 days of meals plus sandwiches. They've done it with beef, pork and chicken too.

shriekingnora Thu 22-Nov-12 09:49:28

It's quicker and cheaper to do it in person. Here's why:

Tesco online shop -
Log on.
Book delivery slot for a time we are going to be in anyway.
Add things to list. So far so good.
Wait in for shopping to arrive.
After the booked time has elapsed, call Tesco.
Hold for ten minutes while they find out what's going on.
They can't find out, they'll call back.
Wait in for a further 45 minutes.
Answer phone, discover they will be 'about half an hour'.
Wait in for 45 more minutes (or stay up, depending on what delivery slot we booked).
Answer door and unpack shopping.
Give back all the ridiculous substitutions. Re-plan entire week's meals.
Spend time despairing that in the absence of a 4 pint milk container the person picking the order could not work out that 2 x 2 pint or 4 x 1 pint would have been just the same and much better than having no milk for breakfast.
Pay far too much.
Time elapsed - hours. And hours.

Aldi -
Chuck kids in car.
Go to shop.
Buy food.
Pay not very much.
Go home and unpack.
Time elapsed - under 45 minutes including unpacking and travelling time.

Maybe some people don't have the Internet at home to do an online shop. Or anyone to have to have the kids to do the shopping.

fromparistoberlin Thu 22-Nov-12 09:54:17



mumnosbest Thu 22-Nov-12 10:02:45

When you take dcs shopping they can learn a lot too. My dcs love looking at the fish counter and asking what the fish are called. They learnt at a very early age that fish don't have fingers or grow in batter. They also know the names off every fruit and veg going and have tried most. Whilst i try to buy different foods to try it would be impossible and expensive to buy such a variety regularly. I think it's helped make them more inquisitive and improved their vocab.

Nuttyprofessor Thu 22-Nov-12 10:12:21

let them weigh the vegetables, read the list and find the things, engage with them calm down and enjoy it.

ErikNorseman Thu 22-Nov-12 11:04:33

My DS is very well behaved and he loves going round the supermarket. I also prefer going round to ordering online. So ner.

goldenlula Thu 22-Nov-12 11:19:29

The reason the op is being treated harshly is because while those of us who take our children shopping have no interest how someone else does their shopping, the op and others have questioned the sanity of us and one even referred to us as being 'entitled' because we take them shopping. Well yes I am 'entitled' to take my children, it is called freedom of choice, just as anyone else is 'entitled' to shop on line, shop in store and even choose which store you shop in. The wonderful world of choice hey!

mrskeithrichards Thu 22-Nov-12 12:05:50

Shopping is awesome! I fucking hate doing it on line.

I like to pick my own food, plus I've heard that many stories about substitutions and shit deliveries I have no inclination to even try internet food shopping.

DH works away all week, I don't drive, he is rubbish at shopping (willing to do it but buys too much crap we don't need) so we all pile in and go together.

The kids help, they don't exactly find it fascinating but they don't hate it either. Plus they need to learn that the foof fairy doesn't magically fill the cupboards!

The FOOD fairy, FOOD! Not foof fairy blush

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 22-Nov-12 12:24:27

I would never shop online. I prefer to choose my own stuff that isnt too near the use by date.

I take my kids shopping with me as I dont drive, only DP does. We have no one to leave them with while we go and NO WAY am I leaving DP in charge of the food shop! A sure way to end up on the road to financial ruin, letting him loose in Asda with the debit card!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 22-Nov-12 12:27:43

FWIW my 2 are not badly behaved going round the shops <knocks wood> certainly not enough to let someone else do the food shop for me, whether they be employed by the supermarket or DP, the man who's common sense appears to have lessened with age hmm

bemybebe Thu 22-Nov-12 12:31:00

"Are you perhaps confusing grocery shopping with a night at the theatre or a michelin starred restaurant?"

I brought my baby to a "michelin starred restaurant" for my dh birthday and all was absolutely fine. It is not the babies who should be banned, but some parents more aware of noise they cause and other people being a bit more tolerant to others. But then we are all foreigners and do not get this victorian attitude OP displays.

Everlong Thu 22-Nov-12 12:34:24

Sometimes you just need to pop in and grab something, then you remember you need this and that and before you know it you're trawling round.

EasilyBored Thu 22-Nov-12 12:39:33

Holy Fuck. Only on Mumsnet are you considered ENTITLED to want take your child to a supermarket. It's a supermarket. It's not an 18 rated film, or a 5* restaurant at 9pm on a Saturday. Get a fucking grip.

And no, my DS does not need to learn how to shop. But he does need to learn that not every activity we do is purely for his amusement, and that there are chores in life (like shopping) that we all have to do at times.

Idocrazythings Thu 22-Nov-12 12:59:12

Children need to learn how to behave when you shop (not necessarily how to shop) and I agree with easily bored they need to learn not everything is about them. If we don't install this in them as small children what are they going to be like as adults growing up with iPads smart phones Internet convenience etc.

And we are definitely still working on the behaving part hmm

BeatTheClock Thu 22-Nov-12 13:10:34

HeadfirstForHalos Rofl@ 'the Foof Fairy' grin

shriekingnora Thu 22-Nov-12 13:24:12

'The foof fairy' is officially my favourite typo ever grin

Lookingatclouds Thu 22-Nov-12 13:47:49

Another lone parent here. There's no-one else to have dd while I shop. I have a really busy life with 2 jobs, all sorts of events/activities/friends and a bf. I fly by the seat of my pants most of the time and don't really have a routine by choice. I'd rather do something impromptu or fit in doing more/seeing more people than spend time doing shopping online, which I find slow and really boring. And when I have tried to do it I can't fit in the time to receive a delivery, or will need the food/items sooner than they can be delivered.

It's much quicker and easier just to pop to the supermarket as and when I need things/have time. I use the smaller, local stores mostly and I find it a lot cheaper as what I can choose from is limited, and I only tend to buy what I actually need.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Thu 22-Nov-12 13:53:08


The other shoppers would miss out greatly and their health may suffer if I did not take the kids shopping.

It is like allergies. If you do not get exposed to an irritant often enough, you may develop an auto-immune response when suddenly in presence of said irritant.

DeWe Thu 22-Nov-12 14:14:18

All my dc love food shopping, and if I am going ask to go. I'll only take 1-2 at a time if I have someone one can stay with.

Dd1 always has, and dd2 and ds did from when they were about 3yo and stopped being in the trolley.

I don't love the bill at the end though wink

I'm with goldenlula on this one.

I'm not bothered by other people's choices in how they shop, so please don't question my sanity, or deem me 'entitled' because I don't conform to the way you think it should be.

BiddyPop Thu 22-Nov-12 14:33:17

I bring my DD with me to teach her about food, get her to do maths and reading, learn about budgeting and choice (we can't get choccie biccies if we are getting ice-cream this week), help me (a bit). Sometimes I have no option but to bring her, sometimes I do it alone, often she can stay at home if she wants.

But the food shopping is a part of everyday life, she needs to learn it anyway and the earlier she learns it, the better she'll be able to cope when she is independent.

mrskeithrichards Thu 22-Nov-12 14:37:31

I'm still arf'ing at being classed entitled!

Best not admit to taking baby to cinema

BiddyPop Thu 22-Nov-12 16:15:41

Oh, and shock horror, DH often comes too!! Cos we both work FT so we'd often end up doing the shopping while we are out at the weekend doing something else anyway. It's called real life - you juggle!!

Heaven knows what people used to say about my mother bringing all 6 of us with her while Dad did other shopping at the weekend - they used to drive to the city 25 miles away to get a decent choice (they'd lived abroad so liked things like rice and pasta, curries and pizza, and a wide variety of veg and fruit, when all the local shops offered was potatoes, meat, root-type veg, apples, oranges, eggs and tins of beans). She'd just send us all in different directions to get different bits, 2 littlest in the trolley, and get on with it without blocking others.

Where have people's sense of tolerance gone?! The mind boggles at entitlement for daily essentials!!

Oblomov Thu 22-Nov-12 16:23:20

I think it is really really sad thta OP sees it like this.
My sil never takes her kids food shopping.
How can that be healthy/good for them/ etc etc?

All for online shopping. But 'never' taking the kids for a main food shop? How else are they supposed to learn where things are in a supermarket, etc etc? Un-natural and very odd.

Oblomov Thu 22-Nov-12 16:37:54

And no, my children are NOT well behaved when I take them to the supermarket. But I am working on that !!

and I totally agree, it is an important aspect of teaching this generation of children , many of whom are so incredibly spoilt, becasue they have never had it do good, living in a world when they largely do get what they want, when they want it. Knowing no real hardship as such, not experiencing failure that much, living it a disposable society where we just buy a new mobile, just for the sake of it. And as a generation that are much more spolit and self-centered than possibly any other generation.
So yes, things like food shopping,and realising they are not centre of the universe, are actually balancing, i believe.
Dh teels the ds's that sometimes he doesn't want to go to work, or do the .... shopping, ironing, washing clothes, washing up etc etc, or other tasks that we have to do, even when we don't want to.

How can you argue that this is not a good thing?

Treats Thu 22-Nov-12 16:52:14

I go at the weekend with DH and DD - and we all quite enjoy it. We can spend time together and it gets us out of the house. If it the weather's poor or there's not much else going out, it amuses DD for an hour or two - who enjoys it and generally behaves well.

DH and I have always gone together - even before DD. We like chatting about which wine to buy, what to have for pudding, whether we want beef or lamb for Sunday lunch. We eat together, take it in turns to cook - shopping together is a natural extension of that. It might not be how everyone wants to spend their time, but we enjoy it, so why does anyone else care????

Young children have to learn how to behave in public and get used to having strangers around. Supermarkets are a fantastic environment to do this - they're safe, staffed, and it's easy enough for other adults to get away from them if they're being annoying (unlike on a bus).

I am genuinely shock that anyone would judge us for going together and taking our child!!! Baffling......

PolkadotCircus Thu 22-Nov-12 16:55:03

Totally agree with the last post.

I had 3 under 15 months and always had to take them.Dp at work and we cut petrol costs with errands after the food shop.I also like to handle & choose my fruit,veg and meat.I always get the best sell by date too.

Now they're 9,9 and 8 I send them off to get things with the strict instructions that they get the cheapest items-fab for future budgeting and maths.

My 3 spend far too long in front of screens as it is,surfing the web picking things to buy isn't something I want to encourage.Kids really don't understand how credit cards work.

Yes they've sighed,tutted etc,played up but that is when they get a rocket up their arses in the form of me reminding them that if they want to eat we need to buy the food,doing chores are important and they're not royalty.

PolkadotCircus Thu 22-Nov-12 16:55:48

Ob's post.

whistlestopcafe Thu 22-Nov-12 16:59:31

I prefer doing it online but struggle to find the time to place an order, it has to be when the children are not around because they create havoc if I use the computer in their presence. Sometimes I manage to find the time to place an order but find that the only slots available are inconvenient. I rarely take the children on a big shop, I tend to do it a few times a week so it doesn't really take very long.

TiggyD Thu 22-Nov-12 16:59:35

People take their children shopping so they can shout things like "Augustus! Would you like ethically grown organic fair trade guava tonight?!"

MissCellania Thu 22-Nov-12 17:34:52

I think my primary motivation has now changed to purely pissing off the Po-faced serene supermarketeers like OP and friends.

Treats Thu 22-Nov-12 17:43:49

MissCellania - but why??? Why do they deserve to be pissed off? What have they done?

I'm amazed that this is even.......a thing.

MissCellania Thu 22-Nov-12 17:49:21

They didn't until they started calling us entitled just for daring to walk in with a minor! Now they do.

goldenlula Thu 22-Nov-12 17:54:52

treats that is the point, it isn't a 'thing' but some on here seem to think it is. As I said before I do my shopping how I choose, everyone else can do as they please. I do not care if someone online shops, shops with children or without. Who really cares?

lljkk Thu 22-Nov-12 18:11:13

Has anyone mentioned the millions of households in UK who are unbanked? They don't have access to anything resembling a debit or credit card?

I loathe online shopping.

They give you tonnes of plastic bags (I would use canvas rucksacks)

Instead of bags, you can have boxes that you have to store, or you can hand back the bags to recycle (which means storing in meantime AND it's inferior to both reuse & the reduce option in reduce-reuse-recycle)

The substitutes problem is a nightmare; trying to figure out what they will have in stock that I would find an acceptable substitute; invariably I don't like the substitute & I have to go shop after all; online shopping doesn't save me any trips.

I have to wait in

It takes just as long as in person shopping if I look for bargains

I cycle to the shops which keeps me fit & costs less than delivery charge

MarshaBrady Thu 22-Nov-12 18:13:10

I do Ocado.

But I always need to get extra things, and go in to get one or two things and end up spending loads.

Ds2 does like going, easily entertained it would seem.

Lavenderhoney Thu 22-Nov-12 18:22:16

I like it, dcs like it. We behave nicely and enjoy our time there. It doesn't have to be miserable. We don't have online shopping available so I have to go, and I don't have anyone to look after dc. Plus I am not wasting any dc free time in the supermarket.

And anyway, what if the day i decide to go online johnny depp should be passing and need to pop in? And i normally went about ths time? I'd be gutted i missed himsmile Even if I had dc in tow and scared him off with my trolley full of non glamorous itemssmile

I shop at Aldi and they don't deliver.

I'm a single parent with a toddler and 30 weeks pregnant. I don't drive so take my older boys (10&8) with me to the supermarket to help carry the bags home.

KellyEllyChristmasBelly Thu 22-Nov-12 19:22:57

unless they are those special angelic kids who enjoy doing the supermarket shop I have one of these smile She loves the food shop and gets really excited!

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 22-Nov-12 19:34:04

I had no idea this was an issue! Sometimes all four of us go, sometimes one, two or three of us... Depends on so many things (time, ability to get a delivery sorted, what else we're up to...) Didn't realise we were being judged for it

And hadn't really thought about it, but completely agree with the poster who said that teaching children how to shop (budgeting, meal planning, adapting plans, choosing the best fresh produce) is really important. Otherwise as well as thinking milk comes from a bottle not a cow (never mind where meat is from) children will think food comes ready prepared and for free

mum2threesons Thu 22-Nov-12 21:48:53

I often take all my children shopping, never been a problem.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now