Mumsnet Talk

He snoozes it and drifts off into another lovely sleep, I'm lying there FUMING.
He don't get what the problem is. I don't want to wake up that early every bloody morning.

I do that-tho am on own so doesn't bother anyone!

Sabotage it. When he's asleep change it to 6.30 then he only gets one snooze. Sorted!!

Secretly set it for 5am.

See if he gets what the problem is then.

I sympathise, My DP does this, for an hour. He really doesn't understand why it's annoying. Usually I'm up before him so I don't notice, but when I'm not..... Grr!

There was a piece in the news recently about why constantly hitting snooze was bad for your sleep, and mood. Maybe show him that?

Or swap it for an alarm clock that doesn't have a snooze function?

My OH does this and it drives me up the wall too. I mean why on earth do I want to wake up at 6? I'm 20 weeks pregnant and it normally means I then have to use the loo and therefore I'm up and there is no going back to sleep for me!

oh, or - as soon as it goes off the first time, get up, put the bedroom light on, open the curtains and start chatting away to him. If you've a TV in your bedroom, put that on too.

His alarm has gone off - it's time to get up, right?

My DH does that too! Sometimes I think the function of his alarms are to wake me up so I can wake him up! I think half the problem is that he's allowed himself to get used to not having to get up when his alarms go off so just tunes them out now! He has 4 different alarms, all of which he ignores, & has been know to sleep through all of them & be late for work! If he just trained himself to wake up when one went off he wouldn't need 4 going off for nearly an hour before he bothers to get out of bed! Grrrrr!!!

My dh has done this once or twice, I have told him if it happens again his phone will be out of the window. I think you just need to stand your ground a bit, sleep is important.

YANBU.
My DH does this and it drives me mad. He seems to drift straight back off to sleep while I'm now lying awake. It's worse when one of his many alarms (that he doesn't snooze quick enough) wakes the baby early.

WHY can't they understand its annoying? Are they really really really stupid or something?

I do that Therefore yabu

Oh. I do this. I set the alarm for 6.00 but I don't get up until 6.40, which is the latest I can possibly get up, make lunches, and make sure dcs are ready to leave at 7.15. Doesn't seem to bother DH - he gets up around 6.20/6.30, wakes up the dcs and helps them with breakfast. I guess you are someone who wakes up quickly OP?

My DP does the same! It drives me bonkers.

I keep saying he should set the alarm for a later time and then be aware that he'll have to rush rather than set it at the time he has now and then keep hitting snooze and have to rush anyway. Those ten minute dozes between snooze sirens aren't really beneficial. They just make you feel groggy.

I'm not well and have to get up for the bathroom several times during the night so could really do without the 6.00am alarm call followed by the 6.10am and the 6.20am etc.

I might wait till he's asleep tonight then move it across the room so he has to get out of bed to turn it off. Once he's up he might aswell stay up.

My DH does this too, it drives me mad. I lay there raging while he goes back to sleep until the next time. I changed the time on his clock once so that when it went off and he thought he had another half an hour really he didn't. He leapt out of bed when I told him. I only got away with that once as he now checks the time on it before bed every night.

Ooh interesting. This topic was posted a while ago and everyone said the OP was being unreasonable and her husband shuld be allowed the snoozes and different alarms to wake up properly!

Personally I do have about 4 alarms, but my boyfriend is up and gone by that point. Not sure how I'd approach it if he wasn't, I do understand how annoying being woken up early is though!

I have to do that to be able to get up. It's a long slow process for me waking up if my body doesn't want to. I think that he could perhaps try for a different kind of alarm, I use an alarm on my phone now which tracks my sleep and has a window of time to wake me up when I am usually in lighter sleep thus easily woken. So even the peaceful sound of water and seagulls pulls me awake and I don't often need to snooze. And if I do, it halves the time each time and it's not worth it anyway.

Grr, my DH does this too. It does disturb 8 mo DD sometimes, even in the next room, which makes me feel stabby. Even stabbier, I should say - bad enough being woken up myself, but when DD gets woken up I have to get up and try to soothe her back down, which is not always successful. Last night we'd had a power cut and DH started resetting the radio alarm and tuning it loudly - I was convinced DD was going to wake up, and I was furious with him. I went and fumed in the living room and the phone rang and I barked 'YES?' into it, only to discover it was MIL.

YANBU -my DH does this and whilst it really pissed me off when I was pregnant, now when quite often I've just got back to sleep after a 5am feed, it drives me nuts.

It's a very inconsiderate habit. But it is just a HABIT and can be changed.

He needs some retraining to get up when the alarm goes off & give up the snooze button. He is effectively robbing you and himself of 35 minutes sleep. As someone who in the past has used a trail of alarm clocks (including one in a pot) across the floor to get up, I'm speaking from experience - things can change.

The Lumie alarm clock made a huge difference to my waking habits - by the time the alarm goes off my brain is awake. They are really VERY good. Perhaps put it top of his Xmas list?

DP does this but it really doesn't bother me, I sleep right through them

But I can understand how annoying it can be. I second Hecates suggestion about getting up when it goes off!

YANBU

DH did it here as well. The alarm went off every 7 minutes for nearly an hour before he gets up.

I moved the clock to the other side of the bedroom so he had to get out of bed to snooze it

I do that too. I physically can't get up when the alarm first wakes me. I need at least half an hour of snoozing before I feel even vaguely human. Luckily DH sleeps through it, and I wake him when I get up. (YABU!)

YABU - i do that too

I set my alarm for 6.15 but get up at 6.45.

My dh has already got up though so i'm not disturbing anyone.

Bodyclock

For heavy sleepers/hard to wake types, the light slowly comes on 30 minutes before the alarm. It has the effect of "waking the brain" up, before you physically wake up. So when alarm goes off you wake up bright.

Changed my life, essential in the winter.

I do this
its like i dont hear the alarm really. im not awake.

No, no, no! YANBU.

My dh is required to leap out of bed the second his alarm goes off. He is also required to have his clothes in the bathroom and not disturb me again.

I would be so grumpy if he pressed the snooze button.

OP I would have felt sorry for you except mine sets it for FIVE and let's it go to 6.15. Or did, until I went completely insane. Did this on a morning I'd gotten home from work at 11 pm too.

My DP does this and the baby sleeps in our room!!!! Really annoying.

From earlier replies it seems to be mainly a male habit but YABU because I do it and it drives my DH mad, we are very gender neutral in our house.

I do it so I can listen to the news and stuff before I get up. If you leave it any later than 6.10am you don't get the business stuff and have to put up with the sport.

My DP has narcolepsy, he struggles to wake up - first alarm goes off at 6.00am, second at 6.30am, then: 6.45, 7.00, 7.15, 7.30 and finally 7.45am

I hate it, as it means if I've had a bad night with the little one - we're both wide awake at 6am again. However he can't help it, so I try not to be too mean about it. Sometimes I do have to vent, and thank goodness for my blog!

How can anyone not understand that this is annoying? They'd have to lack empathy to the point of being a psychopath.

He should probably live alone. Definitely sleep alone.

It's really annoying. XH did it, and I had to go in EVERY MORNING and get him up anyway.

If it's so hard to get up, go to bed earlier!

Maybe that's U, I don't seem to need much sleep. But still!

I can't believe so many people are putting up with this! I totally agree with HipHop, it's not a necessity that they do this, it's a habit and one they can change.

I also used to be like this, and on days when my DH isn't here I might still indulge.

But it's just rude and selfish to steal someone else's sleep, I never do this when DH is here.

At the very least your partners should make a good faith effort to change their waking habits -- those light clocks are supposed to be really good. Or do what they can to improve their sleep overall, so they are not so tired in the morning.

x-post

Obviously people with sleep disorders not included in my comments!

YANBU.

My DH and I often have to get up early for work - the rule is latest possible alarm and get dressed in the hallway. We don't even switch the bathroom light on in case the fan wakes up the other person or the kids! It is simple consideration.

Stabstabstabstabstab!

I retaliate by giving him a very awakening nudge whenever I'm up with the insomniac DC in the night.

dhs is allowed to go off twice, he has to get up at 4.30am for a 5.45am start every other week.

only once did it go off more than twice and i informed him if he did it again i would insert it sideways where the sun doesnt shine, and i was serious. He gets "Get up or turn it off" growled at him now.

dreaming yes he is much better now we have light clock with birdsong alarm.

Still bloody bone idle though.

My dh does this but sometimes forgets to set snooze so wakes up in a mad panic .I once came back from a night shift to find him still in bed at 08.15 he was supposed to be at work at 0700? We both work opposite shifts for childcare reasons and when its my turn to get up i have to get up as soon as alarm goes off to iron uniforms etc [ which i should of done night before] whilst dh just gets himself up and goes on his merry way very annoying!

I do this, I have 4 different times set on ipod, one on phone and one proper alarm clock. I still really struggle I just prefer being up at night then the day. I love my bed and hate getting up.

dreaming I too am shocked how many people are putting up with/suffering with this on a daily basis.

Oh dh used to do this, he doesn't anymore (evil grin)

YANBU it's soooo annoying!

BUT - please get him a Wake Up Light. It starts switching on about half an hour before the time you've set it for, and starts really quietly. Mine DP's is set to have the radio wake us up, so it's very gentle and really works. I have never ever slept through it - I open my eyes bang on the exact minute I've set it for, you'd think with just a dim light and gentle chattering would take ages to wake you up, but it doesn't. I just flick it off and get out of bed and DP sleeps on for however long he wants.

On the other hand, that's because I am considerate enough to flick it off straight away. But when you flick it off the sound goes off but the light stays on so it is easier to not go back to sleep, and a dim light staying on for a few minutes while I wake myself up doesn't wake up DP.

I bought DP's for xmas last year and now can't imagine trying to wrench myself out of bed by a loud blaring in the dark!

Oh. X-post HipHop.

My DP ruined my maternity leave with this, it's so frustrating.

Set his alarm for 7, snoozed it until 8 (had to be at work for 8.30)

I always have problems getting him up for work, so I just let it go; I told him I wasn't his mother and if he was consistently late and got the sack I was out.

I slept on the sofa for a few nights so he didn't disturb me with the snoozing and it seemed to cure the problem

(He doesn't have problems getting up at 5am to go out on his motorbike, BTW).

YANBU, it's awful

HipHop, shocked is the word.

I mean don't get me wrong, I know we all have our sleep preferences and they can be really hard habits to break, and sleep is really important. But isn't part of living together about adjusting our habits so as not to torture our partners? I can't imagine getting to a point where I would know my habits were leaving my partner fuming and without sleep and just not caring or doing anything about it. I'm not sure psychopath is the word for it lottie but I don't know, to me it just seems really really selfish.

You have my sympathies OP.

DH's alarm also goes off much earlier than I would find necessary. He is a very very heavy sleeper and it takes an awful lot to wake him up if he's not fully rested.

It's very very annoying, as it wakes me up.

But for DH, this isn't just a bad habit. He genuinely does not wake up. It's not a case of him hitting the snooze button when the alarm goes off - he's still lying there snoring away, completely oblivious. We've tried a light clock, and those are equally ineffective as far as DH is concerned they wake me up though

My DP does this and while it used to drive me mad being woken up at 6 (when he doesn't get up til 7) I now get up at 6 and go for a run. I was finding it difficult to fit it into the day anyway so it's the perfect use of time.
I get home just as he's getting out of the shower so I can jump straight in.

I still think it's stupid though, and wonder why he wouldn't rather have an extra proper hour of sleep than a broken hour of shitty dozing

I feel very nauseous if I get up straight away when the alarm goes off, so I can sympathise to a certain extent with your DH. However, 10 mins of lying listening to the radio is enough to make me feel human. Could your DH have a 6.30 alarm instead?

"wonder why he wouldn't rather have an extra proper hour of sleep than a broken hour of shitty dozing"
^^ THIS!
And I speak as someone who used to be a snooze addict - it is essentially a pointless and very annoying habit.

The OP said her DP did not understand the problem. I do find that lack of empathy incredible (not saying he is a psychopath just using it as a measure of lack of empathy). All it takes is to listen and imagine being in the other person's situation, or just believing them.

All those who have difficulty waking up and resort to snoozes, that's fine but it is completely separate from saying that it is acceptable to impose the consequent disruption on someone else.

Surely you would only choose to behave this way towards someone whose well-being and happiness you care nothing for?

Yeah I have to agree with you lottie.

My DH and I both do this . Some mornings we can have our two alarm clocks and two phones each taking turns to go off for ages...

Kill him while he sleeps.

I need 20mins to wake up in the morning - I have a light alarm now which comes on for 30mins then beeps and I can get up. But other times i've used snooze or a radio alarm where I can't reach so the radio stays on once it's on.

It's not a habit. It's the time it takes me to reach consciousness. When I was a student in halls and we had middle of the night fire alarms it was hell trying to get out for evacuation - i genuinely couldn't walk and once i fell down a massive flight of stairs hurting myself badly. If i try to get straight out of bed the minute my alarm goes off i have fainted more than once and also tend to walk into doorframes.

Some people just sleep very very deeply. And i'd guess it's mainly men on here because people on here are mainly parents and mothers have hormonal changes after birth that makes them more alert to their infant but if you asked on a forum for people pre-children it would be more even between the sexes.

sandy if he's not getting why you are bothered, would a week of you setting your alarm for 5.25am & hitting the snooze button for 45 minutes help him understand?

My house mate does this. Sets it for before seven but won't get out out bed until twenty to eight. Used to be ten to but we got pressed off about him hogging the bathroom before all of us had to leave. He also used to have two alarms, the other was fucking bird noises that wouldn't wake him up --but would wake everybody else ffs- at 6:15. Gah. I thought I was bad with my twenty minute 'lay in' alarm system!

I set my alarm for 7 but often don't get up until 7.30. Oddly enough my Dh gets annoyed about that, I have no idea why

Both DH and I snooze our alarms, BUT, DH gets up an hour before me, and whereas my alarm just buzzes, he has to have his set as the most rousing loud music he can find. But this isn't to wake him up, oh no, it's so I wake up with a jump and kick him until he gets up. Aargh!!!

buy a audio pillow,plug phone in and use the alarm on phone, then only the person using the pillow hears the alarm

people laugh at me when I say this but separate rooms are the way to go - or ear plugs. I am a very light sleeper and find it difficult sleeping with someone else. Ear plugs have deffo been my saviour

I'm suffering from pregnancy-insomnia at the moment so I'm sleeping in a different room anyway, on a different floor of the house & still his ridiculously loud alarms wake me before him!

"people laugh at me when I say this but separate rooms are the way to go"

Not me, I think separate rooms (or preferably separate houses!) is much better than cohabiting, especially the sharing a bedroom malarkey (with all the associated annoyances such as alarm clocks, snoring and bed hogging).

My sister's dp used to do this. She cut the plug off.

oh, I love DH, but I also love sleeping alone...

for me i set the alarm when i have to get up and i know when it goes off i have to get up. I never snooze as it would be horrible to lay there and just drift off when the alarm went off again, and then to continue repeating it would be cruel torture.

I shared a house with my ex best friend who worked shifts and did this. She set the alarm an hour and a half before she actually had to be up and snoozed every 10 mins till then. It was awful. When i would seriously discuss this with her she would laugh at me and say it made her feel like she was having more sleep by being woken up just to know she could go back to sleep again. She was always shattered, but would dismiss me when i suggested an extra hour and a half of PROPER sleep might be the answer. she now lives with my exH so i hope she is torturing him in the same way!