To destroy his body and spirit

(95 Posts)
BigBadBertha Sat 17-Nov-12 12:04:12

Dh is a complete fud. He ate all my scream-eggs I had saved up from Halloween knowing fine well I was planning to eat them for my Xmas dinner.

This is just the latest in a whole list of selfish things this prick has done to me so far in our marriage. I wish we never got together now!


scarletforya Sat 17-Nov-12 12:06:35


Kill him with FIRE! angry

Ooh dear. This sounds like the final straw. sad But why did you want scream eggs for Christmas dinner?

picnicbasketcase Sat 17-Nov-12 12:08:23

Screme eggs for Xmas dinner? Well that's just wrong. YANBU though.

Kormachameleon Sat 17-Nov-12 12:09:20

Are you on drugs ?

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:09:27

Bertha I am going to agree with you because your slightly scarey.

What's in a scream egg? Can we find a similar piece of confectionary for you?

Santasinmypudenda Sat 17-Nov-12 12:09:32

Leave the bastard

They should have Creme Eggs in soon for Easter, would they do?

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:12:01

Don't they do a Christmas one? Santas big chocolatey balls or something?

Latara Sat 17-Nov-12 12:13:04

Is your DH a: Plumber, electrician, builder, plasterer, carpenter, chef or male model? If so, then pass him on to me, ta.

BigBadBertha Sat 17-Nov-12 12:15:35

I DON'T LIKE NORMAL CREME EGGS!!! ......or Turkey (both the bird and the country!) He's at work just now so I'm planning on packing a suitcase for the clown and leaving it on the drive. He can gtf back to his inbred mother!

Latara Sat 17-Nov-12 12:15:40

I like your style though OP. I'd prefer chocolate over roast turkey for Xmas dinner; not scream eggs though.

Galaxy or thornton's, yum.

Inbred mother? It is all very unsavoury particuarly the Christmas Dinner.

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:20:35

Is this going to go a bit pear shaped

<hides behind sparkling>

ScaryHairyMcSweary Sat 17-Nov-12 12:22:39

How many would you need for Christmas dinner though?

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:24:31

At least ten.

Tweasels Sat 17-Nov-12 12:25:57

Ten is far too many

Surely 5 is more than enough.

BigBadBertha Sat 17-Nov-12 12:26:10

His mother is the unsavoury one!! Stupid cow was into all sorts and rumour us DH is her dads boy (his grandad!) So who is the scary one now?

P.s never mind what I have for Xmas dinner!! Point is the selfish goat ate all my Choco delights that he knows I love. F**ker!!

If it's instead of just the turkey then you have to fit the veggies on the plate too.


PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:27:33

<really hiding behind sparkling now>

What are his other crimes?

NoraGainesborough Sat 17-Nov-12 12:28:23

I hope you are not planning on having kids with him, until you know. Could be genetic issues.

Are you suggesting ots his mothers fault she was a victim of abuse?

IFartInYourGeneralDirection Sat 17-Nov-12 12:28:42

Blergh no one can eat ten creme egg is one go. They are to gacky, i could eat two, three at a push.

Antway forget about te screme eggs and tell us more about the inbreeding

iHaveNoIkea Sat 17-Nov-12 12:28:56


PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:30:10

I've done five creme eggs on the nose. Did feel a bit grim after.

Has someone called Jeremy Kyle? I think we need the wizard.

mellowcat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:30:46

What is the difference between a scream egg and a cream egg, tis very interesting to me.

Screme eggs were 12p in Asda living the other day.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 17-Nov-12 12:33:15

I know this is AIBU but I think everyone is being very hard on the OP. Doesn't everyone want to commit murder, mutilation and divorce when they have been deprived of chocolate?

Or, er, is that just me?

Cahoots Sat 17-Nov-12 12:33:37

Waitrose was selling Scream Eggs for 14p each last week. I bought loads all of them blush, for the DC's obviously.

I have only eaten one so far. <polishes halo>

RandallPinkFloyd Sat 17-Nov-12 12:33:50

Blimey shock confused

HELPMyPooIsStuck Sat 17-Nov-12 12:35:21

Ave I stumbled onto JeremyKylesNet perchance ??

I think Screme eggs are green on the inside.

<backs away slowly avoiding eye contact with op>

Softlysoftly Sat 17-Nov-12 12:37:02

You had me until you accused his mother of shagging her father willingly, now its less amusing and rapidly more freaky

BloominMarvellous Sat 17-Nov-12 12:37:29

This turned from lighthearted chocolate thief to OP slagging off MIL calling her names and questioning her DH's father.

Bit weird and a record for MN surely?

Tweasels Sat 17-Nov-12 12:38:25

Surely though, they taste the same, green or not. Could you add food colouring to normal creme eggs so at least you can have a traditional Christmas Dinner?

Tell us more about MIL please.

Newtothisstuff Sat 17-Nov-12 12:39:45

Jesus !!! blush

IFartInYourGeneralDirection Sat 17-Nov-12 12:40:05

Yes the goo in screme eggs are green.
I cant eat them, they look like they should be minty and it would be like licking out a toothpaste tube....

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 17-Nov-12 12:40:23

I like scream eggs, <hides behind everyone else>

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 12:43:02

<< Enters thread in a helicopter and shines huge search light on all the hiding posters >>

MrsWolowitz Sat 17-Nov-12 12:43:16

I started reading like this ----> grin

Then this ----> shock

Then this ---> confused

Now I'm like this ----> hmm

<backs away slowly>

MrsWolowitz Sat 17-Nov-12 12:44:15

IFart I love your name! Brilliant!

I'm not scared. i am intrigued.

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 12:45:06

What do you expect from a man? LTB .

Iggly Sat 17-Nov-12 12:54:25

<marks spot>

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 12:58:24

< wonders who mark is? >

BigBadBertha Sat 17-Nov-12 13:01:12

We have kids already ya dafty! Otherwise why would I be on MUMSnet?! Clue in the title!!

We have 5 in total 3xDS and 2xDD. They are my life and I live for a Wednesday when I can go visit them every week. I wish they could come home.

If you are taking the piss about the inbreeding then u can GTF! My kids have nothing wrong with them except ADD and squints.

<watches intently with wotsits in hand>

But what does Sharon have to say about it all?

dexter73 Sat 17-Nov-12 13:07:32

If that is what eating scream eggs does to you then I am never buying them again!

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 17-Nov-12 13:08:11

This is hilarious . Also have no idea how anyone can eat more than one creme/screme egg on the bounce.

TeaMakesItToTheTop Sat 17-Nov-12 13:10:11

The wasp. What about the dead wasp?

Juustanothermnetter Sat 17-Nov-12 13:16:12

Ummm. shock

Waspie Sat 17-Nov-12 13:16:14

bloke in our office can fit 10 creme eggs in his mouth at once shock Although I can't really call him a freaky weirdo (which I wouldn't as he's a very nice man) as I can put my fist in mine - it's my party trick, although I have to put my wine glass down first these days <getting old>

if you want chocolate for Christmas lunch OP you go for it!

Is Adam still on fruit and veg? Maybe he's moved to confectionery and can help source screme eggs out of season?

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 13:18:42

10 creme eggs good god

I'm allergic to creme eggs. I cough, sneeze and get a rash.on my forearm. True fact.

Calm down, dear <ducks>

<wow scary> <marking place to read ina bit>

Ooh solesource are you allergic to food colouring? I get a rash when I drink black sambuca and eat one of those green caterpillar cakes from M&S. not together obviously! I did work out which one it was years ago, but I've forgotten now!

TalesFromTheCryptoFascist Sat 17-Nov-12 13:26:01

Erm is nobody going to ask about Wednesdays?

stressgoaway Sat 17-Nov-12 13:29:05

do the t-rex


Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 13:32:55

Ooooh tbat could be it Fizzog! I almost crashed my car one day after I ate a creme egg. I totally forgot what happens. I sneezed, eyes streaming.

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 13:33:27

Lol haha lunatic

Softlysoftly Sat 17-Nov-12 13:36:40

Squints grin

Fakebook Sat 17-Nov-12 13:37:13

Leave the bastard.

HappyJustToBe Sat 17-Nov-12 13:42:07

10 at once? Proof that they are getting smaller.

iklboo Sat 17-Nov-12 13:50:41

Not sure about screme or creme eggs but if DH scoffed all my Thornton's Special Toffee there would be words angry

ScaryHairyMcSweary Sat 17-Nov-12 13:51:37

Does your DH T-rex?

ScrambledSmegs Sat 17-Nov-12 13:54:30

Ah. All becomes clear.

Do screme eggs really taste different? Never had any.

Tweasels Sat 17-Nov-12 14:02:42

I've just looked at a picture of the inside of a screme egg. It looks like some kind of snot/spunk combination.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 17-Nov-12 14:12:03


Thanks for all the reports about this one <boggle>

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 14:13:02

Some toffees I cough, splutter at. Hmmm

FunnysInLaJardin Sat 17-Nov-12 14:15:20

you are not real OP, good try though

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 17-Nov-12 14:15:53

Oh my.

MistressFord Sat 17-Nov-12 14:21:39

Um, er, nope, no idea. I was about to ask how Sharon and T-Rex are but I was beaten to it.

hurricanewyn Sat 17-Nov-12 14:24:10

What's going on?

BloominMarvellous Sat 17-Nov-12 14:26:20

Oh wow!!!

Just that!!

<Really really want a cream egg!!>

MissMogwi Sat 17-Nov-12 14:27:54

Blimey, what's going on here.


<looks from behind my satsuma and biscuit stash>

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 17-Nov-12 14:28:14


We think this thread will go pfft quite soon (unless you're all having fun?)

BloominMarvellous Sat 17-Nov-12 14:29:13

I'm intreagued!!!!

I wonder what they will say next!

Waspie Sat 17-Nov-12 14:30:01

I think it should go sad but only because my son may read it and think that I'm advocating chocolate for Xmas lunch. I will never be able to say "eat your vegetables and then you can have chocolate" again wink

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Sat 17-Nov-12 14:31:44

Fud hahahaha

ChestyNutsRoastingAnOpenFire Sat 17-Nov-12 14:33:02

Leave the bastard confused

Is it half term again?

Tweasels Sat 17-Nov-12 14:33:25

We are having tremendous fun Rowan. Sadly this particular troll lacks imagination and just isn't funny enough. I don't mind if it goes to the great forum in the sky.

hurricanewyn Sat 17-Nov-12 14:41:16

Will the OP come back?

sittinginthesun Sat 17-Nov-12 14:45:48

Oh leave this one, Rowan, please! It's miles more fun than my ds's maths homework.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 17-Nov-12 14:47:16


Will the OP come back?

mysterious face

OK, you're not having that much fun are you? We will zap this in a mo.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 17-Nov-12 14:47:33


Oh leave this one, Rowan, please! It's miles more fun than my ds's maths homework.


Has Mr Cadbury been lacing Screme Eggs with ACIIIIIIDD? grin

If so, I want one now please

Jux Sat 17-Nov-12 15:03:53

Couldn't you turn this into a "keep the husband occupied" type project. He is to make screme eggs and until 4 dozen better-than-Cadbury examples are placed delicately on a gold plate for you, there will be no tv, films or food, let alone sex.

It would keep him busy and focussed for a while.

May I ask you would go about breaking his soul? I can see that a sledgehammer or somesuch would work on his body. The intangibility of his soul is a stumbling block; unless I'm lacking in imagination (or you are Satan Incarnate?).

MrsWolowitz Sat 17-Nov-12 15:33:43

<does T-Rex>

Oh dear

Sharon, is that you?

FloatyFlo Sat 17-Nov-12 16:52:29

Enjoying this bizarre post over a brew

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now