To get mad at Mums that cross on the red man!!

(49 Posts)
duke Thu 15-Nov-12 19:44:02

Our school is on a the corner of a busy main road and we have waited ages for a pelican crossing. I'm waiting for the green man teaching the ds's to cross safely and other Mums run across on the red man with there kids and I'm saying to mine, loudly on purpose, wait for the green man. It's driving me mad. One boy yesterday had one foot on the road one on the pavement him mum shouted at him to get back then said right quick run. Is it me or is that really bad road safety teaching!!!! Phew rant over.

abitcoldupnorth Thu 15-Nov-12 19:48:22

See it all depends. Yes with a busy road when the adults are having to run with children to get across, YANBU, but we have a crossing in our local town where it's often red with nothing coming (long straight approach so we can see plenty) so we always walk on the red.

If there is no life or death emergency why cross on the red? It doesn't pass a good message to DC yours or any others watching.

You wouldn't go on red in your car even if it was clear in all directions.

thebody Thu 15-Nov-12 19:53:42

Yes totally agree op, it's inexcusably bad to do this with children

people need to remember that the toddlers and young children they are rushing across the road on a red man are all too soon crossing the same road as older children and teens and doing just as mummy did...

Some get away with it and some don't!

Exactly thebody. But then nobody seems to have any patience when getting anywhere.

Trazzletoes Thu 15-Nov-12 19:58:38

YANBU. How are their children going to learn road safety?

MammaTJ Thu 15-Nov-12 19:58:43

I agree with you OP, it does not teach good road safety.

addictedtolatte Thu 15-Nov-12 20:06:33

your not necesarily safe crossing on a green man. my dad and grandson got knocked down crossing on green man. there both fine now thank god. i teach my kids to use good old common sense and not rely on technology to guide them

Fakebook Thu 15-Nov-12 20:06:52

Ever since I've had children I always cross when the green man shows. We even walk the long way to school to cross at the lights further up the road.

lurkerspeaks Thu 15-Nov-12 20:08:32


However away from the school I would curb any thoughts you had about mentioning it to your fellow parents or, even worse, people without children.

Where I live has masses of roadworks. One of the main local roads is totally closed but the pedestrian crossing is still there.

I nipped across on Sunday morning when it was Red. I was on my own. I'm a fully fledged adult. A helpful Mother took it upon herself to bereate me for crossing the closed road on a red as it set a bad example to her children.

I decided she was a loon.

addicted I hope that doesn't extend to driving.

Sorry to hear about accidents when the green man was flashing though, but they must be v rare.

shabooby Thu 15-Nov-12 20:13:19

We always cross on the green man, one time we were waiting with another mom and child and they crossed on red, my dd (2.5) said very loudly "that's naughty that is" the mom turned round and said "yes it is, don't you ever do it" . Dd seemed very pleased with this smile

gordyslovesheep Thu 15-Nov-12 20:15:06

Just going by the green man isn't teaching them to cross safely - you should be teaching them to judge when it's safe to cross

there wont always be a 'man' or a crossing - if nothing is coming and 'man' is red it's still SAFE to cross

lurkerspeaks Thu 15-Nov-12 20:17:45

Oh, and I would have thought it was engaging if it was the child but adult - adult it was a bit patronising.

I have never seen the crossing near us change to the green man, don't know what's wrong with it but I've been using it for 3 months now and no change. I just wait until the traffic stops

germyrabbit Thu 15-Nov-12 20:20:03

i use common sense too, if there are no cars i cross, i don't press the button if the road isn't busy either (shock horror)

Tweetinat Thu 15-Nov-12 20:20:07

YANBU at all. I rarely go anywhere with crossings these days, but even pre-dcs when I was younger I would always wait at a crossing for the green man if any children were there waiting. As an adult I may have chosen to cross, but always felt that I should be setting an example. <polishes halo>.

ll31 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:23:33

teach them to cross safely, ie judging traffic,not just relying on lights. also other parents crossing methods r their own business... yabu

claraschu Thu 15-Nov-12 20:26:14

In Germany, you see adults waiting alone at a totally empty road (no cars anywhere in sight) for the light to turn green.

We are not in Germany. We teach our kids to cross when it is safe, not when the light tells you it is safe.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 20:31:25

far better to teach DC to depend on their own observations to tell whether it's safe to cross than to depend on a green signal when the green signal has no idea if there are cars there or not. teach dcs to use their eyes and ears and only cross when they are sure there are no vehicles.

When there are lights there rely on them, when there aren't make a decision and cross safely? Seems quite sensible.

thebody Thu 15-Nov-12 20:36:14

Well I would have thought that teaching road sense and looking went hand in hand with crossing with the green man.

Only a moron would JUST rely on the green man but only a moron crosses on the red man, stupid example to children.

Addicted, so sorry to hear that, my dd was also badly injured in a crash, she had her seat belt on but it broke, still tell her to wear it though.

Its all about probability of safety and survival.

DonnaRoll Thu 15-Nov-12 20:37:13

A few months ago I was going towards a busy crossing near where I live, the green man was on for someone already at the crossing, I was maybe a couple of metres away.

For some reason I had a feeling that instead of trying to speed up and cross (the green man was still on) to wait until it had gone red and then for the green man to appear.

A couple of seconds later a car came speeding down the road and went through the red traffic light. If I hadn't of waited myself and 2yo DD would of been hit head on by this car.

I'm always wary of these crossings now and wait until the traffic has stopped. The zebra crossings seem to be the worse for cars not stopping even though they can see people waiting to cross the road.

thebody Thu 15-Nov-12 20:40:17

Donna, did you get the number, bastard!

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 20:40:46

"only a moron crosses on the red man, stupid example to children."

not if there are no cars on the road and they tell the dcs what they are doing. of course if they are someone else's dc at the crossing then you have no obligation to explain to them why you are making the logical decision to cross at the red man when the road is empty of traffic.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 20:41:44

basically, it's not always safe when it's green and it's not always dangerous when it's red. use common sense and teach your dcs to aswell.

IloveJudgeJudy Thu 15-Nov-12 20:46:40

YABU. especially as you just said mums. What about dads and teaching your DC. to go when you tell them no matter what other people do.

tazzle22 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:52:05

I always waited for the green man as well as telling my children to look all around to check that the cars were stopping. These days I am often out with people with learning impairments and we do exactly the same thing..... look around and pay attention all the time but emphasising we do not cross with the red man we cant always see where cars coming from. Its also incredibley hard for young children to judge the speed / time of approaching cars to make good judgments ....... if there is a crossing there is a good reason its in that place !!!!

The main thing is to be consistant ..... it can be really, really hard to justify / explain when and why its ok to break a "rule" ..... best imo to keep to it.

I wait for the cars to stop, as sometimes they don't regardless of the green man!

Bluegrass Thu 15-Nov-12 21:20:29

They are there to create a break in the traffic on busy roads. If there is a suitable break anyway it seems rather pointless to treat it as an instruction to stand around like a lemon until a light tells you what to do. Common sense and teaching proper road safety trumps abrogating responsibility to a machine every time!

WildWorld2004 Thu 15-Nov-12 21:22:39

There is a traffic lights next to us that takes forever to change from red man to green. I can press it when there are a lot of cars & then i am stood there waiting & waiting for the lights to change. The cars have all gone & the red man is still showing. So i cross the road.

I have taught my dd how to cross the road properly as not every road has traffic lights.

squoosh Thu 15-Nov-12 21:32:42

claraschu that's hilarious, an adult, waiting for the green man when there isn't even a car on the road. Some people observe the rules a bit too closely.

Shaky Thu 15-Nov-12 21:39:22

If I am on my own and there is a parent with a child I will wait for the green man, in order to give the child the right example.

PiggyPlumPie Thu 15-Nov-12 21:45:22

Sometimes it takes ages for the green man to appear after pressing the button. I still wait even if there is a large enough gap in the traffic because I find it annoying as a driver to have to stop at the traffic light to let Mr Nobody cross the road!! This is with or without children.

Am I just a nutter with too much time on my hands??? grin

Tactifer Thu 15-Nov-12 22:05:53

I do cross when I shouldn't, choosing to rely on what I can see, but I draw the line at ignoring the signals when young kids are about. It's difficult to teach road sense to very young kids without relying on the signals, which is why I don't like setting a bad example. But too many motorists see stopping as an inconvenient option rather than a responsibility, even those who should know better like taxi drivers, to make relying on rules alone a safe option.

Scholes34 Thu 15-Nov-12 22:39:02

Clarashu we were recently in London with a 22 year old German, who got very twitchy whenever we crossed the road on the red man . . . then it dawned on me why.

After many years waiting for the green man, I now delight in crossing the road on red!

Woozley Thu 15-Nov-12 22:46:01

In central London I find you just have to take your chances. Quite often on a green man, there is a bus or taxi across the crossing which means you have to zig zag through traffic, or as you start to cross on a clear crossing with a green man a cyclist tries to mow you down. Early in the morning I would regularly stand there waiting to cross on green while two or three cars sailed through completely oblivious to a crossing being there at all. If you cross a zebra crossing when the traffic has stopped, it doesn't mean that the courier motorcyclist who hasn't bothered to stop won't mow you down next to the pavement just as you think you have reached safety.

But yes, round here, I wait for the green man when I'm with the kids.

duke Thu 15-Nov-12 23:51:07

Of course if I'm on my own and the road is clear I cross and look!! We walk lots and we cross where there are no crossings and I say still check even if its green. We too have nearly been wiped out when a lorry thundered across on green. Sorry Ilovejudgejudy for being sexist should of said mum/dad/carer. The thing that bugs me is the way people drag their kids between the cars 5 metres away from the crossing because they are too impatient to wait.

Startail Fri 16-Nov-12 00:41:02

Depends on age and road sense of DCs.

Bad form if a mum is clearly trying to teach a toddler.

Really felt for the carer of someone with, LD, trying to show him to wait while every one else just ran for it.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 09:25:24

is there an issue in germany WRT green men? confused

squoosh Fri 16-Nov-12 09:30:38

I think the Germans are sticklers for the rules, no green man, no crossing the road. Even an empty road.


Take them to Tokyo. Everyone glares at you if you cross on red, even in an empty road. Honestly, you would think you were stabbing someone the looks you get!

Someone even told me that when they closed all roads to traffic for the Emperor's funeral everyone STILL stopped on the red and waited patiently for green!

Lovecat Fri 16-Nov-12 09:56:54

claraschu , DH and I (way before DD came along!) were told off in no uncertain terms by an elderly Austrian gentleman for crossing a deserted street in Vienna not at the crossing point <the horror, the horror> grin

Round here (apparently the UK's no. 1 spot for unlicensed, untaxed, uninsured drivers sad) drivers jump the lights 4 at a time, drive up the wrong side of the road and try to cut in if they feel the queue of traffic is too long for them to wait, over/undertake where they're not meant to... I teach DD to use her common sense when she crosses and NEVER to rely on people stopping at the red light/green man. I wish this weren't the case.

squoosh Fri 16-Nov-12 10:21:31

Lovecat what was your response? I would have guffawed!

ZZZenAgain Fri 16-Nov-12 10:35:26

hard to guffaw , when they tell you off, they really tell you off! I have to say one thing I love about no longer living in Germany is the freedom to cross streets without being told off. It is absolutely true, they wait for the red light, even on a Sunday when the streets are deserted and there is not a car in sight. They like to go by the book and in particular, I feel, they like others to go by the book.

For small children I think it is generally better to wait for the light to go green. I always made dd check after the light changed whether the cars had stopped before we crossed. I don't actually trust cars to stop on time. At some stage though, I do think you can gradually teach them to judge whether it is safe to cross. You do it when you jay-walk too. There isn't always a light to tell you what to do so you do need to learn to judge distance.

There's nothing more annoying than having to stop at a pedestrian crossing with no bloody pedestrians crossing. In that respect YANBU. Otherwise if I'm out with my kids and the road is clear we will cross. I remember one mum loudly commenting about a man crossing the clear road without waiting for the green man. He waited for her at the bus stop to pompously and loudly tell her off for being so rude about him in front of her children. She wasn't expecting it and mumbled something about just trying to teach her kids road safety. He said that the crossing was there for when it was very busy and to make a break in the traffic (at peak times when there might not be one) for people to cross safely. He said the lights were a guide only and that she was responsible for getting them safely across the road regardless of whether the green man is there or not. They should be taking their lead from her and not to be swayed by others actions. I could tell that she regretted using him as an example. grin
I have seen adults run across when they have barely nanoseconds to do so. I don't say anything unless the kids say it first. It really isn't our business.

Lovecat Fri 16-Nov-12 11:33:51

As Zzzenagain says, it was a very serious 'you must not do this, it is very dangerous!' type of telling off. We saved our snurking for when we were safely esconsced in the coffee shop we'd been crossing the road to get to...

I sometimes hear loud tellings off and think "oh do shut up". I hate it when parenting is done loudly in the hope a passer by might hear how awesome at being a parent you are.

Woozley Sat 17-Nov-12 09:59:25

I don't blame parents for that. Other people are constantly assessing others' parenting skills, and entire lives, based on observations of several seconds, as constantly demonstrated on this site!

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